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1
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,450
Mirror, mirror on the wall...
2
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,253
who's the handsomest man of all?
3
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,317
Now, take your time.
4
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,091
I'll turn around here.
5
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,192
You ready?
6
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,216
Here we are.
7
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,118
Handsome Freddie.
8
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,322
♪ Doo, doo... ♪
9
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,580
Hiya, Fred.
10
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,881
Come on in.
11
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,983
How did you like
my secret knock?
12
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,251
Secret knock?
13
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,721
Yeah, that was, uh, two
heavy ones, three light,
14
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,023
and four quick ones.
15
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,725
That's so you
can tell that it's me
16
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:59,129
and not some crazy
burglar knocking at the door.
17
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,530
Now would some burglar
go around knocking
18
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,132
on somebody's door?
19
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,123
That's what makes him crazy.
20
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:13,543
Say, Fred, how come
you all dressed up?
21
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,512
It's Saturday night. I'm
going over to Donna's.
22
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,546
Donna's?
23
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,215
Fred, I thought we
was gonna watch
24
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,649
the awards show tonight.
25
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,184
The awards show? Yeah.
26
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,019
Another one? Which
one is it this time?
27
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:26,923
Well, Fred, this is the one
that we've been waiting on.
28
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,892
It's the Best Monster
Movie Awards.
29
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:32,496
Well, listen, is Gork
up for anything?
30
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,763
Oh, yeah.
31
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,466
He's up for the
most painful death
32
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,769
from a single bite
by a swamp monster.
33
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,837
Ooh, wow.
34
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,439
I'd love to be here
with you, Grady,
35
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,174
but I gotta go over to Donna's.
36
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,575
I got a date with an angel.
37
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,411
♪ Got a date with an
angel Doo bee dee ba ba ♪
38
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:50,713
Hey, what's happenin', Grady?
39
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:51,914
Hi, Lamont.
40
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,650
I'll drive you over to
Donna's. Okay, son.
41
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,052
Grady, you go ahead and
watch as long as you want to.
42
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,754
I'll be back shortly.
Okay. Say, thanks, Fred.
43
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,056
Say, is... Is it all
right if I help myself
44
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,825
to a snack during
the commercials?
45
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,227
Why is it, Grady,
46
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,796
you always wait till you
get over here to get hungry?
47
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,666
Well, Fred, maybe that's because
48
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,901
you park the truck
out in the front.
49
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,603
And, now, everyone knows
50
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:17,162
that they serve good food
where truck drivers stop.
51
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,676
Donna, darling.
It's "Ready Freddie."
52
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,157
Fred!
53
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,992
What are you doing here?
54
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,694
What do you mean,
what I'm doing here?
55
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,563
It's Saturday night, ain't it?
56
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:43,200
You belong to me,
and I belong to you...
57
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,890
and who belongs to this cigar?
58
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:51,541
Fred, that cigar belongs
to my date tonight.
59
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,142
A date?
60
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,744
I mean, you got a lot of nerve,
61
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,945
having a date on Saturday night.
62
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,380
Well, Fred, I'm sorry,
63
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,482
but you didn't say anything
about coming over tonight,
64
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,585
and, after all,
you don't own me.
65
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,220
I know I don't own you,
66
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,364
but I've made nine
years' worth of payments.
67
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,225
I mean, where is he?
Where is this guy?
68
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,292
Bring him out here.
69
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:11,160
I'll face him man
to man, fist to fist,
70
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,495
and face to face.
71
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,698
Just bring him on out
here and show him to me.
72
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:15,722
That's all, just...
73
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,002
Hey, say, listen,
buddy. You're lucky.
74
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,205
I was gonna give you some
of these across your lips,
75
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,306
but it's against my principle
76
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:24,641
to hit a man...
77
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,377
To hit a man with, uh, glasses.
78
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,812
Lou, this is Fred Sanford.
79
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,448
Fred, meet Lou Turner.
80
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:35,707
Pleased to make your
acquaintance... I'm sure.
81
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,989
Why don't we all have
a nice glass of wine?
82
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:40,990
I'll get the glass.
83
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,325
What you trying to do there?
84
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,630
I mean, you ain't gonna
get no milk out of that.
85
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:48,698
Listen, Lou.
86
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,234
Let me make this as
simple as possible for you.
87
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:54,437
See, Donna and I don't
stand on that old etiquette stuff,
88
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,773
so you can feel
free, at any moment,
89
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,208
to get the hell out of here.
90
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:03,246
Fred! That's not polite.
91
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:04,503
Please, please, sit down.
92
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:15,191
Here, Fred, here's
some nice imported wine
93
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,126
Lou brought over
from his liquor store.
94
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,194
Oh, yeah?
95
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,195
Well, I don't drink nothing
96
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,598
ain't got no label on it.
97
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,600
I put the wine in the decanter
98
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,502
to allow it to breathe.
99
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,326
Breathe?
100
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:31,574
That is correct.
101
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:35,545
You see, fine wines
must be decanted.
102
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,880
They have a limited
life in the bottle.
103
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,684
Five years for white wine,
50 to 60 for Burgundy,
104
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,820
and approximately
50 to 100 for Bordeaux.
105
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,989
And three days for 7UP.
106
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,292
That is the most
ridiculous thing
107
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,627
I have ever heard.
108
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:51,628
That's the most ridiculous thing
109
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:52,629
you ever heard?
110
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,063
Is it? Uh, uh, Fred...
111
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,498
Fred, look at this, uh...
112
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,300
Look at this pamphlet
Lou brought over.
113
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,135
It's all about the Senior
Olympics this year.
114
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,269
What's that?
115
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,807
Athletic events
for persons of 50...
116
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:04,996
and over.
117
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,945
Oh... I... Oh, I remember that.
118
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,570
On your mark, get
set, ready? Keel over.
119
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:14,718
Well, Sanford, for
your information,
120
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,686
in order to participate
in the Senior Olympics,
121
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,222
one must be sound
of mind, fleet of foot
122
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,358
and in excellent
physical condition.
123
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:24,627
I do 100 push-ups every day.
124
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,329
Well, here, add
another one to that.
125
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,853
Shove your lips up your nose.
126
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,802
Fred, honey...
127
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,638
Lou won the decathlon last year.
128
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,039
And I have every intention
129
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,376
of winning it again this year.
130
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,143
Listen, I've had
enough of this chitchat.
131
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,545
Now, Donna, you
gotta make a decision.
132
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,747
Now, who do you want?
133
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,682
Me, who's been faithful
to you all these years,
134
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,417
or this wino-come-lately?
135
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:48,951
Now, look here.
136
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:49,952
You look here, Sanford.
137
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,954
No, buddy, you look here.
138
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,556
Listen, you want
me to decant my fist
139
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,780
upside your face? Fred!
140
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,627
Acting like a fool.
141
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,295
Who's a fool? Say
that outside to me!
142
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,597
Come on outside and say that.
143
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:01,598
I'd be happy to.
144
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,599
Well, come on, then.
145
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,000
Lou! Fred!
146
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,002
Don't worry about nothing.
I can take care of myself.
147
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,593
Oh... Fred. Fr...
148
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:28,224
Wow, Fred. Fred,
you just missed it.
149
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,026
Gork won.
150
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,061
Whoopee, whoopee.
151
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,930
Whoopee for Gork.
152
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,388
But he wasn't there, so
Godzilla accepted for him.
153
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,070
You know why Gork
wasn't there, Grady?
154
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,305
Why?
155
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,569
Because Gork was over
at Donna's with a decanter.
156
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,078
Oh, you mean that
there was another man
157
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,146
at Donna's house.
158
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,816
Yeah. Some old guy
named Lou Turner.
159
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,351
I sure would've loved
to have heard you
160
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,286
just cuss him out, and...
161
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,088
punch him in the mouth,
162
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,646
and wipe up the floor with him.
163
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,528
You know, Grady, I
got too much dignity
164
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,096
to be fighting in
front of Donna.
165
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,754
Oh... you mean big Lou Turner.
166
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:17,173
Yeah, the one that
won the decathlon,
167
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,476
the senior decathlon last year.
168
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,878
I think I've lost
Donna to him forever.
169
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:25,214
Oh, you know, he wins
the decathlon every year.
170
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:28,184
As a matter of fact, he's
in it all alone this year.
171
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,152
Everybody's afraid of him.
172
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,788
Well, I ain't afraid of him.
173
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,958
Oh, okay, then it's settled.
174
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,627
You enter the decathlon,
and then we'll...
175
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,628
Decathlon, me?
176
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,162
Me, in a decathlon? Right.
177
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,263
Forget that, Grady.
178
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,665
I'm not gonna get
in no decathlon
179
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,233
till I get one thing
straightened out.
180
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,234
Now, what's...
What's that, Fred?
181
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,725
What is a decathlon?
182
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:52,509
That's where they
have 10 events.
183
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,144
You know, like,
the 400-meter run
184
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,614
and the high jump,
and the hurdles,
185
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,949
the javelin, the shot put
186
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,718
and the 50-yard dash...
187
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:04,988
Right to the hospital
into intensive care.
188
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,689
Well, Fred.
189
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,625
I mean, don't you want
to win Donna back?
190
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:13,195
I mean, after all, faint
heart never won fair lady.
191
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,366
And stopped heart
never did too good either.
192
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,168
You got one thing going for you
193
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,169
that Lou doesn't have.
194
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,170
What's that?
195
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,472
Me as your coach.
196
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,942
Oh, pfft.
197
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,309
Come on, Fred, now.
198
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:30,112
Remember, this
is for Donna, now.
199
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:34,517
Yeah, for Donna...
Fred, you can do it!
200
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:35,919
I can do it, Grady.
201
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,319
Yeah!
202
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:41,424
And when she sees... Sees
you win that gold medal,
203
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,458
Yeah.
204
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,561
You'll be first in
her heart forever.
205
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:45,595
Yeah, Grady.
206
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,530
Yeah, you can do it, Fred.
207
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:48,965
That 400-yard...
208
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,199
The javelin. The
spear, the javelin.
209
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,200
The ja... Yeah!
210
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:52,201
The long jump.
211
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,704
Yeah! Yeah, Grady.
212
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,106
Do you believe...
The pole vault!
213
00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,409
Yeah! Do you believe
that you can do it?
214
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,078
I believe I can do it, Grady.
215
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,680
Do you know that you can do it?
216
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:04,881
I know I can do it.
217
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,149
Do you have all the
confidence in the world
218
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,317
that you can do it?
219
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,119
Got the confidence, Grady.
220
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,387
Great!
221
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,491
Then I'll bet you five
bucks he kills you.
222
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:18,738
Out.
223
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:28,537
Hey, Lamont, come on down, son.
224
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,973
Breakfast time!
225
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,076
Ding-dong, ding-dong.
226
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,035
Open your eyes, son,
and say, "Hi, world!"
227
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,184
What's going on down here?
228
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,253
That's what I really like,
a lot of screaming and...
229
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,744
Well, how do I look, son?
230
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,858
Like an old hot dog
231
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,202
with mustard and ketchup on it.
232
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,199
You know, you're
really being ridiculous
233
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,567
with this Olympic stuff, Pop.
234
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,937
This is not gonna
impress Donna, not at all.
235
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,371
It's not gonna
impress her one bit.
236
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,372
Listen, son.
237
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,473
You're entitled
to your thoughts,
238
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,475
and if you want to be
entitled to your teeth,
239
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,598
you shut up.
240
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,847
All right, you can say
anything you want to,
241
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,015
just don't scream no more
242
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,250
because I'm not
awake yet, all right?
243
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,251
Good morning, Lamont!
244
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,786
Shh!
245
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,622
Quiet, Grady. Lamont
didn't wake up yet.
246
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:23,425
Oh, okay, Fred. I
can understand that.
247
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:24,783
Shh.
248
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,059
Breakfast is ready!
249
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,522
We're gonna have
to get some castor oil
250
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,913
to catch this.
251
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:03,988
Well, how about we
have a little orange juice?
252
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,745
Hey, Grady, I thought you
said this was orange juice.
253
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:20,316
Lamont, I said that that
was a little orange juice.
254
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,884
Now, the rest of it
255
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:25,755
is turnip nectar,
horseradish juice,
256
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,390
and the essence
of collard greens.
257
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,726
You know, Pop,
258
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,327
you're going about this
whole thing wrong, man.
259
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,561
If you wanna get in shape,
260
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,364
why don't you try taking
a long walk every day?
261
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,733
You got a point there.
262
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,400
Well, I'm glad you
finally realize that.
263
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,302
Well, listen, why don't
you set an example
264
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,570
by starting off first?
265
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,928
You take a long walk,
and start on the roof.
266
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,978
All right, go ahead,
be a wise guy,
267
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,579
but don't say that
I didn't warn you
268
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,414
when you get yourself
hurt, maybe seriously.
269
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,516
Oh, don't worry about me, son.
270
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,585
When it's time
to die, then I'll die
271
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,988
for something
worth dying for, love.
272
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:02,091
Like Romeo and Juliet,
Bonnie and Clyde...
273
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,649
And Ike and Tina Turner.
274
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,732
I'm going in the kitchen
275
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,801
where I can get some
rest and some quiet
276
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,002
and get myself some
decent breakfast.
277
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,470
Yeah, son, you
go in the kitchen.
278
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,172
This is ridiculous.
279
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,207
I'm not gonna eat this
stuff over here. This is...
280
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:19,441
Okay, Fred,
281
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,411
I have a whole schedule
of exercises for you,
282
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:25,436
so I wanna see you and
the team out in the yard.
283
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,916
All right, men. Line up.
284
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,835
Well, okay.
285
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:49,105
First we'll start off
with 20 push-ups, Fred.
286
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,239
Okay?
287
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,240
Twenty push-ups? All right, yep.
288
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,397
Now, you lie down on the ground.
289
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,342
Go!
290
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,379
One.
291
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:11,817
One.
292
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:16,855
One...
293
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,039
Say, Fred,
294
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,096
you mean you can't
even do one push-up?
295
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:30,134
Would you please,
one "help me up"?
296
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:35,539
All right, Fred.
Okay. All right.
297
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:40,990
Uh, now we're gonna jump
a little rope as soon as...
298
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,791
Oh, here it is, over here.
299
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,426
All right, we're gonna
jump a little rope,
300
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,427
because what this does
301
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,685
is develop the legs
and the bust line.
302
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,171
Men don't jump no rope.
303
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,073
We don't know how
to jump no rope, Grady.
304
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,474
Well, it's easy, Fred,
305
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,676
I used to jump rope
with my sister all the time.
306
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,379
I bet you got beat up a lot too.
307
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,148
No, no, look,
look. I'll show you.
308
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,373
It's just very,
very simple, see?
309
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,243
Just one, two...
310
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,782
See, it's easy once
you get the hang of it.
311
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:19,561
See?
312
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,463
Okay, now you try it. Oh, Grady.
313
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,032
I don't wanna try
no rope nothing.
314
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,367
I don't do that.
315
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,701
Oh, okay.
316
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,104
Well, how about we
practice on the discus?
317
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,105
That's okay. Get the discus.
318
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,106
Oh, okay.
319
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,362
Here.
320
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,479
That ain't no discus.
That's a hubcap.
321
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,448
Well, just use it
for practice, Fred.
322
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,582
I can't practice with this.
323
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,318
This is from my
presidential collection.
324
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,020
Your presidential collection?
325
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,355
Yeah, see, this is a Ford,
326
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,224
and I got one from a Lincoln,
327
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:51,127
and if the next president
is "Rufus R. Toyota,"
328
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,362
I'll have three of them.
329
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,019
Well...
330
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,601
Okay, here. Here's
an old one over here.
331
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,602
Okay.
332
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,603
All right. Ready?
333
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,387
The discus, now. Discus.
334
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:13,282
Wow, you sure got
a strong arm, Fred.
335
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,018
Yeah, yeah, that's because
that arm wrestling I always do.
336
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:17,086
I'm the best at that.
337
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,887
Yeah, you are. You
sure gonna win that event.
338
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,191
Yeah.
339
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,617
And you'll probably win
the boomerang event too.
340
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,955
Hey, what's shakin', Grady?
341
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,158
Hi, Rollo.
342
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,707
Say, Pop, there's
your hubcap, man.
343
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,509
I want you to know
it just missed me.
344
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:44,280
Well, let me put it on
the truck and try again.
345
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,515
No, man, don't do
me no small favors.
346
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,916
Say, why are you all dressed up
347
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,018
like Friar Tuck?
348
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,353
That's not...
349
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:53,755
Fred's practicing for the
Senior Olympics, Rollo.
350
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:54,890
Oh, yeah? Uh-huh.
351
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,993
Hey, well, that's
out of sight, man.
352
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,127
Hey, good luck.
353
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,128
Hey, look here.
354
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,329
Maybe by New Year's Day,
355
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,393
they'll let you play
in the "Old Bowl."
356
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,101
Yeah, and tomorrow,
357
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,406
you can get in the Tidee Bowl.
358
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,075
Okay, Fred.
359
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:16,778
Now we're gonna
practice the 50-yard sprint.
360
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,047
Sprint?
361
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,882
Grady, you know I
can't sprint no 50 yards.
362
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,183
Okay, come on, Fred,
363
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,419
now, you wanna win
Donna back, don't you?
364
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,520
Okay, okay.
365
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,188
All right, okay.
Now, I want you...
366
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,857
You run down to the
lamp post and back.
367
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,459
All right? Okay.
368
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,483
Okay. Wait a minute now.
369
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,485
Okay.
370
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,674
Hey, man, it's not enough
that we have to go...
371
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:46,975
Where is he, Grady?
372
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:50,212
Oh, Fred's out practicing
the 50-yard sprint.
373
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,980
The 50-yard sprint?
Grady, are you crazy?
374
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,016
This has gone far
enough now. This is it.
375
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,784
He's gotta put a stop to it.
376
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,253
This is... This is ridiculous.
377
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,921
All right. Okay, Lamont.
378
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,923
Okay, we'll quit as
soon as he comes back.
379
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,513
He'll be back in a second.
380
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,430
Say, man, I thought
you said 50 yards.
381
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,597
I mean, where is he?
382
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,901
Oh, he'll be back.
383
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,996
How... How'd I do?
384
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,470
Go!
385
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,656
Hey, Fred!
386
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,657
What?
387
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,926
Come on. You
only got a half hour
388
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,729
before the Senior
Olympic Bowl starts!
389
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,064
I'll be right down.
390
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,265
Did you make that phone call?
391
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,167
Everything is taken care of.
392
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:46,471
What phone call?
393
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,439
Uh, uh, uh, well...
394
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,740
It's the door, I'll get it.
395
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,976
I don't understand this
Olympics stuff, Grady.
396
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:54,977
Oh, hi, Donna.
397
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,011
Hello, Lamont. Hi, Grady.
398
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,079
Oh, hi, Donna.
399
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,514
I'm so glad you could come over.
400
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,716
Maybe you'll be able to talk
some sense into my father.
401
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:01,717
Well, I'll try. Please.
402
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,819
I didn't dream he was serious.
403
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:04,886
Come on, Fred!
404
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,811
Coming. I told you
I was coming down.
405
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,666
Hello, Donna, Lamont, Grady.
406
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:20,035
Good to see you all standing
outside my locker room.
407
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,237
Uh, you want my autograph?
408
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,672
No, but I'd like to have
your head examined.
409
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,608
Fred, listen to me for a moment.
410
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,609
What, honey?
411
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,110
I came over here to tell you
412
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,911
that what you're
doing isn't necessary.
413
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:32,414
You don't have to
prove anything to me.
414
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,150
Please, Fred, stop all of this.
415
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,584
Forget about that, Donna.
416
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,586
It's time now that somebody
took that loud-mouthed Lou
417
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:38,654
down a few pegs.
418
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,122
When I get through with him,
419
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,958
his high's gonna be hurdled,
his shot's gonna be put,
420
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,348
and his broad's gonna be jumped.
421
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,464
Fred!
422
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,521
Well, listen. Come
on, coach. Let's go.
423
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,806
Maybe we should've
gone to watch Fred.
424
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,808
I think we did the best
thing by staying here.
425
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,009
If we had gone down there,
426
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,211
he would've just
acted more silly
427
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,245
than he did here.
428
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:04,647
We did the best thing...
429
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:05,847
but where could he be?
430
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,717
Oh, relax, Lamont.
I'm sure he's just fine.
431
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,018
Yeah, I might as well relax.
432
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:12,688
Hi, Lamont, Donna.
433
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,056
Hi. Is Fred all right?
434
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,157
Oh, he's fine.
435
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:28,404
Fred... How wonderful.
436
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,838
Look at all those medals.
437
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,773
Uh-huh. Hey, Pop,
I can't believe that.
438
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,041
Are those all real?
439
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,876
Of course they're
real. Solid gold,
440
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,834
and I'm gonna have them bronzed.
441
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,683
Are they picking up the light?
442
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:41,983
Now, look, everybody, see...
443
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:45,254
Now, this one over
here is for the decathlon,
444
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,189
and all of these are for winning
445
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:50,626
first place in all 10 events.
446
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,528
Hey, Pop. I'm really
proud of you, Pop.
447
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:53,895
I really am. So am I.
448
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,431
Fred would've done
much, much better
449
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,975
if he'd had somebody
to compete against.
450
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,771
Good, Grady, good. Good.
451
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:03,772
That was good, Grady.
452
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:04,873
You mean to tell me
453
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:07,743
you were the only person
in the whole Olympics?
454
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,967
Huh? Yeah.
455
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,147
But what happened to Lou?
456
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:15,150
He chickened out.
He's a weakling.
457
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,151
He's a sissy.
458
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:17,152
Hello, Sanford.
459
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:18,820
He's a here.
460
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,822
I heard what happened.
461
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:23,459
I came to offer
my congratulations.
462
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:25,193
Very sporting of you, Lou.
463
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,695
Lou, what happened?
464
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,397
Fred said you
missed the Olympics.
465
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,598
I know, Donna.
466
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,500
Just as I was leaving,
someone called,
467
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,535
said they were going to
hold up my establishment.
468
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,103
I was obliged to stay.
469
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,171
Why, that's a shame.
470
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:38,641
Why... that's a shame.
471
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:41,610
Yes, well... That's
the breaks, Sanford.
472
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,178
Can't win them all.
473
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:44,747
Yes, that's the breaks.
474
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,882
Funny thing, though.
475
00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:51,687
The fellow that called used
a very strange expression.
476
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,121
"Goog poobly poo..."
477
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,445
No, that's "Good goobly-goop!"
478
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,100
Well, I guess I'll
be leaving now.
479
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,735
I guess I'm going in the closet
480
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:07,736
and shut the door.
481
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,338
All right, just a moment, there.
482
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:12,308
Oh, I see you won
the arm wrestling too.
483
00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:13,442
Yes.
484
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,411
Well, had I been
in the decathlon,
485
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:17,680
you may have given
me a little competition,
486
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:20,115
but both of us in the
arm wrestling, Sanford,
487
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:22,884
absolutely no
competition whatsoever.
488
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:25,086
Are you challenging me
to some arm wrestling?
489
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:27,889
I believe your
interpretation is correct.
490
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:29,090
Uh, wait a minute, Mr. Turner.
491
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:30,326
That's quite all right, Lamont.
492
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,960
No, but see, the
thing you don't know...
493
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:33,261
Trust me. It's quite all right.
494
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,931
Fred, Lou, this is ridiculous.
495
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:54,905
Oh!
496
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:11,400
Yeah, on the top,
winner and still champion!
497
00:23:11,424 --> 00:23:13,369
Lou! Lou, what is it?
498
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:16,938
Oh, Donna. I do believe
I sprained my arm.
499
00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:19,307
Oh, you poor thing!
Here, let me help you.
500
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:21,744
"Oh, you poor thing."
501
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:22,978
Lou, come.
502
00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:24,179
I'll take you to my house,
503
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:26,248
and I'll put some
heat on it and then I'll...
504
00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:28,384
Over to your house
to put some heat on it?
505
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:29,785
Wait a minute,
Donna. Just a second.
506
00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:32,388
I thought we were gonna
have a little celebration night.
507
00:23:32,412 --> 00:23:36,091
The thrill of victory
and the agony of defeat.
508
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:38,293
I'm sorry, Fred.
509
00:23:38,317 --> 00:23:39,928
We'll have to do
that another time.
510
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:42,097
It may take weeks
before Lou's arm heals.
511
00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:44,566
Come on, Lou. Yes, yes.
512
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,803
It may take weeks
before it heals, Sanford.
513
00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:49,571
I suppose I should
be angry with you
514
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:51,106
for tricking me
out of the Olympics
515
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,841
with that phony phone call,
516
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,143
beating me at arm wrestling...
517
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:58,414
but I realize you did it
out of love for Donna,
518
00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,550
the mark of a true champion.
519
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:04,185
I bow to you.
520
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:06,410
I... salute you.
36180
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