Original subtitles

One of me, four of you.

Doesn't seem fair.

To you.

Or your kidneys.

[yells]

[dramatic music]

[all grunting]

♪♪

Time to stop kidney-ing around.

♪♪

Ooh, looks like attack season.

I guess I'm gonna

have to write you off.

[clicks]

[beeping]

[action music]

♪♪

[Director]

Cut!

Great job, Jett.

Hi. I'm Jett Masterson,

star of "Kidney Punch:

One, Two, Three, and Five."

And after a hard day

of kidney punching

and saving the world

I could use a vacation.

Couldn't you?

I know I could, Jett.

- How would you and your family

like to go on the ultimate

family vacation?

Sure would.

Can't afford it

on a kid's salary.

- For free?

I'm listening.

He's not really

talking to you.

[Jett]

If you've ever dreamed

of going to Hollywood...

I'm listening.

Then go online,

and check out Unique Excursions'

Ultimate Family Vacation

Giveaway today,

because you deserve...

a break.

[Announcer]

To enter the contest,

go to the Unique

Excursions website

and fill out an entry form

today.

And now back to

Alex Guarnaschelli's

"Destination Cook Down."

Ooh, now I'm listening.

Well, it took all afternoon,

but the sleeping bags

are officially spider free.

Spiders can have them.

No, we are

not going on another one

of Dad's stupid

camping trips this year.

We are going to win

that Hollywood vacation.

Just you wait.

We've been waiting forever.

I thought playing

with these fake beards

would make the time

go faster.

[dog yips]

[Dawn]

Guys, it's only been three days.

They're gonna call.

Let's face it.

We're going to end up

going camping again.

Just like every year.

[phone ringing]

Quiet! This is it!

It's Unique Excursions!

[all speaking at once]

[Nicky]

Oh, my God!

All right.

Let's play it cool.

Hey.

Hello.

Whatevs.

'Sup?

Too cool.

Too cool.

Hi, I'm Robin

from Unique Excursions,

and I'll tell you what's up.

You guys are finalists

in our Ultimate Family Vacation

Giveaway.

So tell me, what would you most

like to do in Hollywood?

Meet Jett Masterson

and punch him in the kidney.

I want to eat

at the hottest restaurants

and meet Hollywood's

coolest chefs.

How about seeing

some world-class magicians?

Please. I want to see

celebrities.

No, I want to meet celebrities.

You know what?

I want to be a celebrity

and just cruise down

Hollywood Boulevard.

Oh, in a convertible.

We could go

to a movie studio.

[Tom]

In a convertible.

Oh, and just

walk the red carpets

and work the cameras

with one of these and these.

And then you do--

[Anne]

Oh! Dawn, are you okay?

[Tom]

Oh, Dawn, are you hurt?

Because this is how you

could have avoided it.

Huh?

Do a little cheek thing, right?

And you just stare 'em down.

[Dicky]

Nope.

No, no, no.

[all speaking at once]

Hey, hey!

It doesn't matter,

because we're not going

to a movie premiere anyway.

Yeah, we're meeting

Hollywood's coolest chefs.

No, we're meeting

Jett Masterson.

Only if he's

at a movie premiere.

Come on!

No, no.

[all speaking at once]

Stop! How can a family

fight this much?

We're really sorry.

Well, I have certainly

heard enough.

Yeah.

We're sorry we

wasted your time.

No, I mean it looks like

you guys could really

use a vacation.

I know I could.

[Anne]

Oh!

[screams]

[Dicky]

Jett Masterson!

You guys won.

You're going

to Hollywood!

[all cheering]

Wait, he's really talking

to us this time, right?

[All]

Yes!

[Dicky]

We're going to Hollywood!

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

♪♪

[Kids]

♪ Whoo, whoo, Hollywood ♪

♪ Whoo, whoo, Hollywood ♪

You'd think after chanting

that song for the past week

they'd come up

with more lyrics.

Oh, there's more.

Hit it.

[Kids]

♪ Hey, hey, we're in L.A. ♪

♪ Hey, hey, we're in L.A. ♪

[alarm sounds]

[Dawn]

Sweet!

Let's grab our luggage,

get out of here,

and start looking

for celebrities.

Yeah!

Let's go!

[Tom]

Oh, look. Perfect timing.

[laughs]

♪♪

Excuse me, do you know

where the limousines are?

Sorry.

Looking for celebrities.

Why don't you go

ask those photographers?

[Photographer]

Danielle, over here.

Right here please.

Danielle, can you turn

this way please?

[Tom]

Hey, Dawn, do you have

any dental floss in your bag?

No, but I have...

your wallet and mom's purse

for some reason.

They're taking up

half of my bag.

Yeah, and they're heavy.

Why do you think

we don't want to carry 'em?

[Anne]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Our bags should be

here any minute.

Yep.

Any minute.

Where are our bags?

Where's Dicky?

[Dawn]

What are you doing?

Shh!

I'm trying to catch the penguin.

[Tom]

Would you get off of there!

[Anne]

Okay, let's just go

to the airline counter

and ask them where they are.

Get down.

[playful music]

I'm really sorry, sir.

I--

You should be more careful.

A lot of strange people

in Hollywood.

They were accidentally loaded

onto the wrong plane,

but they should be here

in 3 to 30 business days.

Thank you for choosing

West Coast Airlines.

Have a nice day!

Did she say "3 to 30?"

Ricky's starting to panic.

[Anne]

No, no. It's going

to be okay, honey.

You're right.

I've gone 3 to 30 days

without clean underwear before.

You know, and I am sure

Unique Excursions

will take care of us.

Am I right?

Yeah, that's the spirit.

Yeah, we're Harpers.

And the Harpers don't let

anything ruin their vacation.

Yeah! Bring it in.

[All]

Whoa, Harpers!

Whoa, it's the Harpers.

[All]

Robin!

[Anne]

We are so happy to see you.

Me too.

So here's the thing.

You know how you need money

to run a company?

Well, apparently

we don't have any,

so I regret to inform you

that your vacation is over.

[all protesting in confusion]

But all we got to see was

the baggage carousel.

[Robin]

Well, that's fun.

Anyhoo, on a completely

unrelated note

I have to go catch a flight

to Mexico, so adios.

[all speaking at once]

Okay, a little hiccup,

but hey,

we're still in Hollywood, right?

You know, we're already here,

so we might as well

make the best of it.

You know what?

You are right again, honey.

Nothing is gonna

stop this family

from having a great vacation.

All right, toss me my wallet,

and let's get out of here.

All right.

Um, this isn't my bag.

No problem.

Is my wallet in that bag?

It is not.

Wait a minute.

So we're in Hollywood

with no clothes, no money,

and nowhere to go?

[Anne]

I'll go talk to the airlines

and see if maybe

they can get us home.

No, let's not give up yet.

Wait a minute.

The owner of this bag

probably has Dawn's bag, right?

Maybe there's something inside

that'll tell us who they are,

and we can get Dawn's bag back!

Okay.

Oh!

Breath spray.

Smoke pellets?

A key.

Clean underwear?

Dibs!

Ooh.

"Do not pull."

It says

"Do not pull."

Oh, here's

something.

It's a reservation for someone

named Dave Olschewski

for the Magic Castle

today at noon.

The Magic Castle.

That's the premier showcase

for top magicians

from around the world!

Maybe we should go there and see

if he shows up with the bag?

You know,

just saying.

Actually that's not

a bad idea.

Tom, what do you think?

I think it's settled.

To the Magic Castle!

Oh, we've been

walking for hours.

So thirsty!

Come on, Anne.

We're almost there.

I'm pushing

just as hard as I can!

Look, it's the Magic Castle!

[Tom]

Oh!

Check it out.

Someone's flying a drone.

Hollywood has everything.

Yeah, yeah.

People are magical. Things fly.

Now, let's find Olschewski

and get my bag back.

I saw that guy

at the airport.

[Ricky]

He's got your bag.

He bumped into me.

That must have been

when our bags got switched.

[Nicky]

Then he must be Olschewski.

Let's go!

Come on,

go, go, go!

[Tom]

Oh, ow, wow.

That's a big hill.

Come on. Go.

Whoo!

Excuse me, where's the guy

who just came in here?

No one came in here.

[Tom]

Do you have any water?

But that's impossible.

We saw him walk in.

Cold water, warm water,

wet sponge?

Sorry, sir, all the beverages

and sponges are inside.

Then we'd like to go

inside, please.

Yes, we would.

I'm afraid nobody's allowed in

without a reservation.

Reservation.

Dad, you have

a reservation.

Yes.

I have a reservation?

Ricky, get the reservation.

Ha, the reservation.

One reservation

coming right up.

Iugh.

Whoops.

The reservation.

Mr. Olschewski.

Welcome back.

That's right.

That's me.

Mr. Olschewski.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sure you remember

that there is

a dress code for adults,

but I see here

that you left your jacket

on your last visit.

How did it fit

in there?

It's not even wrinkled.

This is the Magic Castle.

You may all go in.

I'll check your bags.

[Anne]

Thank you.

In where?

Don't worry.

I got this.

Open sesame!

Dude, you are way cooler

in Hollywood.

[Harpers]

Wow!

[playful music]

This place is amazing.

It is, but we have to find

Olschewski and get my bag back.

Maybe we should split up.

Nicky, Dicky, go with Mom.

I'll go with Ricky and Dad.

Dad?

They made him disappear.

He's right there.

- Keep 'em coming.

Okay, good luck, honey.

You too.

Let's go, boys.

[Tom]

You wouldn't by any chance

have any dental floss

back there, would you?

I got a thing in my teeth.

There he is!

Come on, Dad.

- Oh, sorry. I'm cool.

[suspenseful music]

He went in there.

Come on!

[Tom]

Go, go, go!

And now for my next trick

I shall make three people

interrupt my show.

[laughter]

Whoops.

The Great Billini!

I've read all your books.

And we're really sorry

to interrupt,

but we're looking for a man

who just came in here.

You know, kind of thin.

Carrying a bag?

Ta-da!

[applause]

No, not him.

While we're here could you

pull something out of my teeth?

I just got a little

something in there.

Let me see what I can do.

Just one second.

[choking sounds]

[coughing]

[applause]

No, that's not it,

but could I?

Yes.

No, this man

was wearing a--

No, actually the only people

to interrupt my show

are you guys,

which means that you get

to help me in my next trick.

You know, we really

don't have any time to--

We can spare a minute.

Here we go.

A regular deck of 98 cards.

You know what we call this?

Showing off.

Ooh, hang on.

Got it. Ha!

No, actually I need you to take

the cards and take out any--

Wait, wait.

[coughs]

[laughter]

Take out any card

that you want.

And then for you,

I have this.

This is a very

special magic pen.

Look, it's gone.

It's back.

It's invisible ink.

Take the pen.

Okay! Could I have

your card?

Ace of hearts.

Excellent choice.

Sign your name

across the face of the card.

I know this trick.

I read it in your book!

Oh, good,

'cause I can't remember

how it ends,

so maybe you could help me?

Why don't you try and stop me?

Watch closely as I make

this card disappear.

[audience gasps]

What?

[applause]

Wow, now before we make

the card reappear,

I kind of fancy

a little bit of a snack.

How about you?

Definitely.

You, sir, do you have

any snacks for us?

Perhaps in your pocket?

Ricky, you know I don't

have any snacks--

[applause]

Oh!

[Magician]

Careful.

Don't want to lose this,

Mr. Olschewski.

Yes, I am

Mr. Olschewski.

Would you mind opening

that sealed bag of chips?

[chuckles]

It's my card!

[applause]

[Tom]

It's her card.

Impossible.

And now for the

big finish.

[Both]

One, two--

Olschewski!

[Both]

Three!

[applause]

Where'd he go?

[Nicky]

We can't find him.

He was just here.

He must have gone that way.

[Tom]

Let's go.

How did Olschewski

just disappear?

Hey, old-dudesky's

getting into a cab.

[all yelling at once]

[Dawn]

You have my bag!

[all groan]

We have

to follow him!

How? We don't

have a car.

No, but Olschewski does.

That's Olschewski's

valet ticket.

Um, excuse me.

Please hurry.

Kids, I know you want to keep

tracking this man down,

but we can't just

take someone's car.

[loud rock music]

Holy rolling thunder.

Mr. Olschewski.

Your car.

I'm sorry.

It's not my car.

[All]

Dad?

[all whispering at once]

It's our car.

[Ricky]

Yes!

Ha-ha. Trunk, please.

Ooh, fuzzy dice.

I don't see the cab.

Great. Now we'll

never find him.

Well, now what are we

supposed to do, Tom?

I don't know.

I can't think and drive

at the same time.

Well, that's

reassuring!

Wait. Maybe his GPS

will have his address.

Worth a shot.

Okay, addresses. Here we go.

[GPS Woman]

One address found.

Okay there's one

saved address.

I bet that address will

lead us right to Olschewski.

And my bag.

Ha-ha! Here.

Hold the dice.

Seatbelts!

[Anne]

Okay.

[GPS Woman]

Proceed to

Hollywood Boulevard.

[Ricky]

Ooh, Hollywood Boulevard.

[Dawn]

How do I look?

[Anne]

Sunglasses.

♪ Next up,

Hollywood Workin' on my tan ♪

♪ While makin' my plan now

Next up, Hollywood, C-A ♪

♪ Next up, Hollywood ♪

Ooh, Hollywood and Vine!

♪ Pedal to the metal,

gonna run this engine raw ♪

Oh, Hollywood Wax Museum!

♪ Three, two, one, blastoff ♪

Ooh, Hollywood

Walk of Fame!

Ooh, New York Pizza!

Dad, you've gone too far.

Oh, I'm not slowing

this beast down.

This California breeze

feels too good in my mane.

Ouch. Honey, your mane's

getting kind of sun burnt.

Ah.

Ooh, sorry.

Ooh, the Hollywood sign.

Selfie!

See if the sun

can catch me now.

Ooh!

Dang it, Dad.

[Dicky]

Guys, look.

Jett Masterson's new movie!

[All]

Ooh!

♪ Three, two, one, blastoff ♪

Told you I look

just like him.

Oh, yeah.

♪ And it's three,

two, one, blastoff ♪

[GPS Woman]

You have reached

your destination.

Where are we?

Weren't you listening?

We're at your destination.

Tom, what do you think

this place is?

I don't know,

but from the smell of it

it's where raccoons go to poop.

So what do we do now?

[coughs]

I got this.

Do not pull.

Wait a minute.

There's the key in the bag.

Maybe it's for the door.

Only one way

to find out.

[Anne]

But, Dawn, you can't

just go in there.

She went in!

Come on. Come on.

[Dawn]

Hello?

[Dicky]

Wait, wait, wait, Dawn.

Wait, don't--

[Dawn]

Shh.

[door clangs shut]

[gasping]

[All]

Uh-oh.

[evil laughs]

Uh-oh!

Hello, Olschewski.

[All]

Uh-oh?

All right, start talking.

[all speaking at once]

Stop talking!

Very clever cover, Olschewski.

Pretending to be a family man.

You might have

overdone it a bit.

Four kids?

Tell me about it.

Wait, Tom?

Oh, sorry.

Listen, Mr. Thug.

The name's Gayle.

[all stifling laughs]

It's a family name.

[all giggle]

My father's name was Gayle,

and his father's name was Gayle,

and his father before him.

All Gayles.

[laughter]

Oh--

Okay. All right.

Everyone laugh at the guy

with the funny name.

[all laugh]

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Laugh time is over!

[Goon]

Let's go.

All right, all right.

Listen...

this is all just a big mix-up.

I mean we're the Harpers.

We're just a normal family

trying to have a vacation.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, no one's going on vacation

until I get the thumb drive!

The thumb drive?

The thumb drive!

Not the thumb drive.

What's a thumb drive?

Really?

I can't believe you don't know

what a thumb drive is.

What's a thumb drive?

A thumb drive stores

computer files.

Yeah.

Olschewski must have

information they want.

I'm telling you, you got us

confused with someone else.

Yeah, yeah, we are not

thumb drive people.

And she's right.

We don't even use 'em.

Don't even like

to drive.

Never.

Wish I didn't

have thumbs.

Overrated.

What is the point?

I'm not here

to play games, Olschewski.

Dang it.

Playing games

was our last hope.

There's got to be

some way out of this.

Ricky?

Oh, sure.

When it involves a puppet show

or getting the stain

out of a jersey you've

got all the answers.

I know what to do.

It's time to bring

a little punch to this party.

Dicky, no.

Dicky, yes.

All I need are the smoke pellets

from Olschewski's bag.

Dicky, don't do

anything stupid.

Stupid is my middle name.

[Dawn]

Don't you dare.

Don't you dare. I swear!

[Tom]

Listen, Gayle, tell you what.

You let us go...

the second we get

back to Boulder,

12 pack of tube socks

coming your way.

And that is

just the beginning.

Honey, don't--

Let the man respond

to the offer.

[Anne]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Raccoon!

Hey, tough guys,

today's forecast is

cloudy with a chance...

of pain.

[grunts]

What?

[Goon]

Oh!

Oh!

Hey, Olschewski,

control your kid.

Do you have kids,

Gayle?

Looks like we should

call this a tie.

[Gayle]

What the--

Waht the--

Run! Go, go!

[Tom]

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go!

My job must be done here,

because it's time to...

punch out!

[Dawn]

Come on!

Oh.

Ah!

[tires screech]

That. Was. Awesome!

- Woah.

- I was so scared.

- [Dicky]

That was close.

[Nicky]

Who were those people?

[Ricky]

What's going on?

[Tom]

Okay. I think we lost 'em.

Let's just call the police.

[cell phone rings]

It's Gayle's phone.

Not it!

[Ricky]

Don't give it to me!

I don't want it.

Hey, I don't want it either.

[Nicky]

No, no. Seriously?

[Man]

Hello?

Should I answer?

[Man]

Yes, this is the CIA.

How can they hear me?

[Man]

You're whispering very loudly,

Mr. Harper.

We need to get

your family to safety.

How did you know

we had this phone?

[Man]

Ma'am, we're the CIA.

Now you can't go to the police.

They've been infiltrated

by Gayle's men.

Wait, what is going on?

Who is Gayle?

Yeah. Who's Olschewski?

[Man]

Let's just say

you've been caught up

in some international

spy business.

[all gasp]

No need to gasp.

You're safe now.

Just come in,

and we'll protect you.

I'm sending directions

to the GPS.

We'll contact you

with further instructions.

No, but--

[dial tone]

[beeps]

Wow. We finally caught

a break, huh?

[Ricky and Dicky]

Yes.

Drive fast, Tom.

[tires screech]

[hurried, tense music]

[GPS Woman]

Turn left on North

Windsor Boulevard.

You have reached

your destination.

[All]

Whoa.

[Anne]

Paramount Pictures?

This is so exciting!

[laughing]

Okay.

Gate's not opening.

Why isn't the gate opening?

Okay. All right, all right,

all right.

Here's the plan.

Run for it!

Dad, wait!

I've got some

Hollywood magic of my own.

Watch and learn, boys.

Mom, glasses.

Oh.

Be right with you.

Hi.

Yoo-hoo,

my fellow Hollywooder.

Yes, it's me, Dawn Harper,

the famous movie actor.

[giggles]

Please, no autographs.

Anyway, I'm here for a very

important meeting with Steve...

Paramount,

so if you would just be a doll

and open the gate

that'd be divine.

[giggles]

"Divine?"

Seriously?

We're doomed.

Oh!

Much obliged.

[Anne]

We're in.

[Ricky]

We're saved!

[Dicky]

Yeah, but what are we

supposed to do

while Dawn's here in a meeting

with Steve Paramount?

[all groan]

[Tom]

Where is this guy?

His text said to meet him

right at this bench.

Oh, my gosh.

That's Jack Griffo.

[Nicky]

He's walking this way!

[Dicky]

He's getting closer.

He's sitting down.

I'm talking right to him.

Hi.

[all gasp]

No need to gasp.

[gasps]

You're the guy on the phone.

You're our contact?

But you're Max Thunderman.

I mean, you know,

the kids watch the show.

We love it.

We do.

That's just my cover.

In real life,

I work for the CIA.

I'm here to help,

all right?

So just hand me

over the thumb drive,

and I'll take care

of everything else.

We don't have

the thumb drive.

[chuckles]

Look, Harpers, I don't know

who you're working for,

but I want that drive.

We don't work

for anybody.

[Anne]

We own a sporting goods shop.

Oh, can we interest you

in some half-off tube socks?

Ex-nay on the tube socks-ay.

Give me the drive, old man.

Aah.

Guys, I don't think he

really works for the CIA.

I'm gonna give you

three seconds.

Things are gonna get ugly,

and with this face

it's not easy.

Three, two--

He's counting.

Wait. I have it right here.

Are you sure you really want it?

Yes. Give it to me.

All right.

One thumb drive coming right up!

Ahh!

[Dawn]

Run!

[Tom]

You just blinded

Max Thunderman!

[Anne]

Dawn, I can't believe

you did that!

Nice work!

Henchmen!

Yes, sir?

[Jack]

Go get them! Go!

Gah!

[Dicky]

Hey, look. The drone.

[Anne]

Don't look at the drone.

Look at the octopus.

[Tom]

What octopus?

Ugh, tentacles.

Split up!

[Anne]

Go, go, go. Go in there.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

I hate octopus.

[gasps]

Ooh, the Hollywood sign!

Oh, dang it!

I got monkey-bombed.

Come on!

Sorry.

Henchmen! Fruit!

[Nicky]

They're right behind us!

I know, I know, I know!

Ooh, in here.

Go, go, go!

Wow, there are beaches

everywhere in L.A.

[Dawn]

Uh, I don't think

this is a real beach.

[Nicky]

The beach may not be real,

but she is.

Alex Guarnaschelli!

He's right. I am real.

On this delicious

beach-themed episode

of Alex Guarnaschelli's

"Destination Cook Down."

[tropical music plays]

Oh, this is a dream come true.

Nicky Harper.

Boulder, Colorado.

I love you.

He does.

So much, but it's a shame

he's got to go.

[Tom]

Come on.

But I want to stay and watch.

Watch?

Oh, no. You're not watching.

You're cooking

on "Destination Cook Down"

with today's special

guest judge, Ciara.

[tropical music plays]

Ciara?

Wait, Nicky, we have to go!

No. Ricky has his magic,

and I have mine,

and I'm taking this chef down.

Kid, I've beaten

eggs bigger than you,

so let's get this

beach party started

with today's

special ingredient

and my daughter

Ava's favorite...

Octopus!

[tropical music plays]

[Nicky]

Ooh, octopus.

She's got legs,

and I know how to use 'em.

["Wipe Out" playing]

[dramatic music]

[Ricky]

Over here!

[Dicky]

Through this door!

[Anne]

Go, go, go!

[Dicky]

This door.

[Anne]

In here. Come on, guys.

[all panting]

[All]

Whoa!

[Anne]

This must be the prop room.

Look, it's the Hyperion

laser ray

from "The Journey

to Urbina."

I wish it were real.

We could sure use

some devastating laser power

right now.

[whirring]

Yeah!

Sorry.

It was labeled

"Do not push."

[Anne and Ricky]

Dicky!

Toast more tortillas!

Yes, Chef.

Season the peppers.

[Dawn]

Yes, Chef.

I've got the octopus.

["Wipe Out" continues]

Dad, brow!

Yes, Chef.

[gasps]

No way!

Hey, hey, kids.

I do a really good impression.

[bad SpongeBob impression]

"Hey, Ricky and Dicky,

are you enjoying

your time in Hollywood?"

Ha-ha!

[laughs]

Pretty good, huh?

No.

You know that's

SpongeBob?

[Henchman]

Where are they?

Someone's coming.

Hide!

[Henchman]

Let's check in here.

["Wipe Out" continues]

[buzzer sounds]

Time's up.

Step away from your plates.

And now our fate is

in the mouths of the judges.

[tense music]

Okay. You cooked.

Dream of your life.

Now let's go.

No. I have to stay

and see if I won.

Wow.

This octo ceviche is so good.

This one's good too.

This one is amazing.

Give me some of that--

I'm gonna get some of yours

too real quick, you know.

Oh, Dad, you've got

a little--

[sucker pops]

Oh!

Can you imagine if I beat

Alex Guarnaschelli?

This would be the best day

of my life.

Well, if we stay here

it might also be the last.

We have to get

out of here.

Just a few more seconds.

I have to see if I won.

Just watch it on TV later.

How?

I can't watch myself win this

if I'm not here to win this.

You know,

he's got a point, Dad.

Yeah, well, so does that guy.

And the winner is...

Nicky Harper.

[cheering]

Whoo-hoo!

Congratulations, Chef.

She called me "Chef!"

We'll see you next time

on Alex Guarnaschelli's

"Destination Cook Down."

[tropical music plays]

[applause]

[Direector]

And cut!

[laughs]

Nowhere to run, Harpers.

You got us.

You got us.

We got the thumb drive

right here.

Come and get it.

Dad, give me my big spoon.

Now?

Just trust me.

Ah!

Run!

[Dawn]

Okay. Come on!

[Jack]

I hate octopus!

Dad, come on!

So good.

Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go!

[Jack]

Get this sucker off me!

[sneezes]

[Ricky]

Bless you.

Thank you.

[Dicky]

Why do you have to be so polite?

[Anne]

Boys, run!

[Tom]

Guys, go, go, go!

[Dawn]

There's Mom!

[Tom]

Hey, guys.

[Anne]

Thank goodness

you're all right.

We're fine,

but we barely escaped.

Us too.

I won "Destination Cook Down!"

Good job.

It was actually

really awesome.

Okay, we've got to go now.

Hey, hey. Costumes.

[Ricky]

We can disguise ourselves!

[Tom]

Yeah, let's go,

let's go, let's go.

[Anne]

Go, go, go.

[Tom]

Come on.

[all speaking at once]

Okay. All right.

I'm just going to say it.

We look fabulous.

[Dicky]

Oh, I know.

They're coming.

[Tom]

Go! To the car!

[Dawn]

Wait. I can't run

in these heels.

[Anne]

Me neither.

Me neither.

[Anne]

Really?

Well, they're the only ones that

fit.

[Tom]

Let's just go. Come on!

[Anne]

Okay, okay, okay. Go!

[Tom]

Here. Take these.

Ooh, do they have

these in yellow?

Let's stop and look!

No! Let's go.

Come on!

Really?

Let's check in there.

Alright! Out of my way!

Me first! Me first!

Hey, to the left. To the left.

No, no. The other left.

We're losing them guys.

Come on now.

Not a word.

Get my train.

There's the car!

[Dawn]

Okay.

No! No, no, no!

[Nicky]

There goes the car.

[Anne]

See, I told you you weren't

employee of the month, Tom.

[Man]

And if you look to your left you

might see

-I got this.

-a weird, little kid running at

me.

If you don't get out the next

thing you'll see on your left is

my right.

Not the face! Not the face!

All right. Everybody out.

Come on!

[Jack]

Hey!

End of the line, Harpers!

[Tom]

Uh-oh.

Oh, look. It's everybody's

favorite, Thunderman.

Dr. Colosso?

No. Jack Griffo!

That way!

Which way?

Dibs! Can I get a selfie?

[Tom]

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Get in. Get in.

-Can I get one?

-Yeah, of course.

- All right. Okay.

Harpers out.

- Hey! Get after them.

I got autographs to sign.

[Tom]

Get out of the way!

I'll bet this isn't in the tour.

[dramatic music]

[Dawn]

Go, go, go!

[Henchman]

To the left! Go, go, go!

Step on it!

I'm going as fast

as I can!

Well, go as fast as he can!

[bicycle bell dings]

There's a kid in a tricycle

gaining on us.

Look at that sign!

[Dawn]

Thumb drive.

That can't be a coincidence.

Turn here!

[All]

Whoa!

Forget it.

Let's get out and run.

[Tom]

No, no, no!

[All]

No!

It's a dead end!

We have to turn around.

Ah!

We can't.

[Anne]

Run!

[Tom]

Come on. Let's go.

Go, go, go!

Go!

[Nicky]

Up the hill!

[whimpers, screams]

You're really fast

in those heels!

[Anne]

I know. I know!

[Nicky]

This is worse than

the Magic Castle driveway.

That was much steeper

than this.

No, it wasn't.

[groans]

[Henchman]

Harpers!

You might as well give up!

Harpers never give up!

Look. Gayle and his goons!

[Anne]

How did they find us?

I want my thumb drive

and my phone.

All my contacts are on there.

[Dawn]

We're surrounded!

But I thought Dicky

took them out!

So did Dicky!

I wish my shoes

were yellow!

Quick! Up here!

[Anne]

Go, go, go!

[all panting]

[Tom]

They won't... find us... here.

[Gayle]

Follow that loud breathing.

We got to get out of here.me on.

[Nicky]

Maybe there's something in

the bag that can help us.

[Dawn]

Yeah.

The bag is empty!

Dicky, you thinking

what I'm thinking?

Sacrifice Dad to the bag gods

and make a run for it?

[Ricky]

No.

You can finally pull the cord.

Now that I can

I don't want to.

Fine. Then don't pull

the cord.

You can't tell me

what not to do.

What does that light mean?

It means that.

[Tom]

Holy floating thunder.

[Dawn]

Let's get out of here.

Go, go, go!

[Anne]

Everybody, hurry in.

[Tom]

Come on!

[Dawn]

Go, go!

Come on. Come on.

Give me a boost,

Anne.

[Anne]

Oh.

[grunting]

[squeals]

Go, go, go!

Whoo!

[Gayle]

Get them!

[Tom]

Go, go, go!

Come on!

[all laugh]

Get over here.

What's the matter with you?

[Ricky]

Whoa. Isn't this so cool?

[Anne]

Oh, wow.

Isn't it amazing, Tom?

Yeah. It's high,

but it's beautiful.

Guys, look.

We weren't hiding

against a white wall.

That was the Hollywood sign.

[Boys]

What?

[Tom]

Awesome.

I can finally get my selfie.

♪ I won't waste

another day ♪

♪ Wishing this would

fade away ♪

Oh, honey,

it's perfect.

Not quite perfect.

Everybody get in here.

Come on.

All right, ready?

[Anne]

Yeah.

And...

♪ I want a little bit

of California ♪

[Ricky]

Look,

the Griffith Observatory!

♪ I wanna take my heart

to the end of the world ♪

Oh, it's so cool.

♪ And fly away tonight ♪

♪ I want a little bit

of open ocean ♪

[Ricky]

Look at the ferris wheel.

♪ I wanna take my heart ♪

Oh, such a beautiful sunset.

♪ And fly away,

fly away tonight ♪

[Dicky]

This is awesome.

♪ Fly away tonight ♪

[Dawn]

Oh, my gosh, guys.

Look, look, look!

[Ricky]

Whoa. Look at the view.

[Nicky]

There's so many lights.

This keeps getting

better and better.

[overlapping agreements]

So how are we

going to get down?

I'm sure Mom knows

how to do it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mom has no idea how to do it.

[all gasp]

It may not matter

how you do it,

because we're

dropping fast.

Mom, pull the thingy!

[Tom]

Oh, the thingy's not working.

We're headed

for the search lights.

We're gonna crash

on all those people!

[Ricky]

Maybe we'll hit

that red carpet?

[Dicky]

I hope it's soft.

Okay, before we crash

I just want to say one thing.

I love you guys.

[All]

And we love you too!

[all screaming]

[All]

Oh.

Well, that wasn't

so bad.

I think we just landed

in the middle

of a movie premiere.

Sweet.

They must think we're

supposed to be here.

Ah, what do we do?

Let's just get inside

and think of our next move.

Anne, exit boost.

Dicky doesn't need

an "exit boost."

[camera shutters clicking]

[overlapping chatter]

Oh, yeah.

This feels right.

I think they think

we're someone else.

[Dawn]

I don't care

who they think we are.

This is amazing.

Okay, kids,

remember.

Strong diva base.

Oh! Diva down.

[Man]

Oh. You all right, buddy?

Just smile, and wave,

and get inside. Come on.

Okay.

We need to get to the police

so we can end all of this.

I don't think

that's going to happen.

I want them found!

What, did they carpool?

Everybody duck.

Crawl to a seat!

[Dawn]

Oh, my God. Here we go.

[Jack]

Check right there. Check him.

[Henchman]

Open your jacket.

Oh, they're definitely

going to see us.

What are we gonna do?

We have nowhere to go.

Uh, guys?

[all gasp]

Olschewski!

Oh, my gosh.

Thank goodness.

You know, you and I switched

bags in the airport by accid--

Shh.

[epic music plays]

We're going to Hollywood!

[All]

Whoo! Whoop, whoop, Hollywood.

Whoop, whoop, Hollywood.

Whoop, whoop, Hollywood.

[Dicky]

Someone's flying a drone.

[laughs]

[Magician]

Maybe you could help me?

[Ricky]

Why don't you try and stop me.

[Both]

Three!

[Anne]

Paramount Pictures.

This is so exciting.

Isn't this exciting?

[Kids]

Yeah, it really is.

[soft orchestration]

Toast more tortillas.

Yes, Chef.

[Nicky]

Season the peppers.

[Dawn]

Yes, Chef.

[Nicky]

I've got the octopus.

Nicky Harper.

Congratulations, Chef.

[gasps]

She called me "Chef!"

Yes, it's me, Dawn Harper.

The famous movie actress.

[laughs]

Please, no autographs.

This is amazing.

[Anne]

Oh, it's perfect.

[Dawn]

Not quite perfect.

Everybody get in here.

[cheers and applause]

Congratulations, Harpers.

I'm sorry, but what the heck

is going on?

Aren't you in Mexico

right now?

Everything that happened

to you today

was by design from losing your

luggage to the hot air balloon.

It was all part of your

ultimate family vacation.

What?

No way.

Awesome.

That is amazing.

Yeah. I mean it would be nice

if we knew a little more

so we wouldn't be

so freaked out, but... wow!

Wait, so is he

Olschewski or not?

Oh, uh, I'm

a cameraman.

Um, had to get close to you guys

to get the shots and...

switch bags.

- Thank you.

- [Gayle]

Hey!

I hope you enjoyed

your adventure.

Oh.

[All]

Gayle?

It's "Danny,"

and it's a family name.

[all laugh]

And...

[all gasp]

We didn't want any member

of your family to miss out,

so...

Get ready to smile

for the pup-arazzi.

Oh, Squishy!

[All]

Squishy!

Jett Masterson?

Dicky Harper?

[Both]

Can I get your autograph?

Jinx.

Owe you a punch.

Boom!

This is unbelievable.

Best vacation ever selfie.

[all laugh]

[upbeat rock music]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ Counting down

these seconds ♪

♪ Jumping off these fences ♪

♪ Find another place

to start again ♪

♪ The cracks in the sidewalk ♪

♪ I'm over

all the small talk ♪

♪ Taking off

like fire in the wind ♪

- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

♪ I won't waste another day ♪

♪ Wishing

this would fade away ♪

♪ Running,

we're not looking back ♪

♪ I want a little bit

of California ♪

♪