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1
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:57,347
The evening fell just like a star
Left a trail behind
2
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,226
You spit as you slammed out the door
3
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:09,318
If this is love we're crazy
We fight like cats and dogs
4
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:14,114
But I just know there's got to be more
5
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:25,667
Please call me, baby
Wherever you are
6
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:29,088
It's too cold to be out
walking in the streets
7
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:34,802
We do crazy things
when we're wounded
8
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:38,222
Everyone's a bit insane
9
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,394
I don't want you catching
your death of cold
10
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,481
Out walking in the rain
11
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:10,212
I admit that I ain't no angel
I admit that I ain't no saint
12
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,716
I'm selfish and I'm cruel
But you're blind
13
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:22,724
If I exorcise my devils
Well, my angels may leave too
14
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:27,729
When they leave they're so hard to find
15
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:38,740
Please call me, baby
Wherever you are
16
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:42,536
It's too cold to be out
walking in the streets
17
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:47,958
We do crazy things
when we're wounded
18
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,836
Everyone's a bit insane
19
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,426
I don't want you catching
your death of cold
20
00:02:57,468 --> 00:03:00,137
Out walking in the rain
21
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,607
Answer me honestly.
22
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:17,821
If I was to tell you that I love you
and that I'd throw it all away
23
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,491
to be with you, what would you say?
24
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,827
Goodnight, Paulie.
25
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:32,878
Yup. Yup, that's about par
for the evening.
26
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:39,885
But what I wanna see
Is the way things used to be
27
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:48,018
Between you and me
The way things used to be...
28
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,775
Let me guess.
29
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:58,654
Your old lady got fed up
'cause you're chasing skirt,
30
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,907
so she took these little ones
and left you.
31
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:05,953
It's a little more complicated than that.
32
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:09,456
It always is. Everybody thinks
their story has a twist.
33
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,166
But in my experience...
34
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,170
- Holy shit.
- Exactly.
35
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,547
This I've got to hear.
36
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:21,260
It's a long story,
and I know you're very busy...
37
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:26,056
- I don't really feel like...
- Wait, wait. No, no, please.
38
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:40,862
Okay, now tell me, Father, how long
has it been since your last drink?
39
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:45,826
It's been about a minute
and a half since my last drink.
40
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:49,997
Now, what about these kids?
41
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:55,794
Okay. Well, you see the one
on the right?
42
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,214
The cute one? That's me.
43
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,052
- Very cute.
- Brian Finn.
44
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,929
Paulie Chopra.
45
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:10,851
This kid on the left
was my best friend, Jake.
46
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:17,274
- He's a priest, too?
- Jake? No. In fact, he's a rabbi.
47
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:21,611
C'mon. A priest and a rabbi?
I've heard this one.
48
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:26,158
I've heard all of those. Trust me,
you have not heard this one.
49
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:31,913
Okay? So there's this priest
and this rabbi, and they're best friends.
50
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,876
But before they were a priest
and a rabbi,
51
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,252
they both knew this girl.
52
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:41,214
The girl.
53
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,092
- Who's the girl?
- That's Anna Reilly.
54
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:48,263
Reilly? Let me guess,
she became a nun?
55
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,057
Not quite. Not quite...
56
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:56,104
We all met in 6th grade at PS 84,
right here in Manhattan.
57
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:03,612
I think I already knew Jake,
then we both met Anna.
58
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,449
Actually, I remember exactly
how we met, 'cause...
59
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:10,118
Well, it was a defining moment.
60
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:16,458
After that,
we were pretty much inseparable.
61
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:27,427
Jake and I were
what you'd call "late bloomers,"
62
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:32,099
and a 7th grade girl's attentions
can be fickle, but not Anna.
63
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,267
Her loyalty to us was constant.
64
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,646
Anna was the friend
every 13-year-old boy dreams of.
65
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,774
That magical cross
between Jonny Quest
66
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,402
and Tatum O'Neal in Foxes.
67
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,837
We were some trio. Anna called us
"Two Micks and a Yid."
68
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,463
She was gonna make T-shirts.
69
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:08,427
There's 8 million people in New York,
but when we were together,
70
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,720
it felt like we lived on our own island.
71
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,016
But New York is an island.
72
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:19,938
I'm trying to sprinkle a little
fairy dust here, to tell a story!
73
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:24,776
I'm terribly sorry. Continue.
Go on, sprinkle away.
74
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,447
Well, then disaster struck.
75
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,992
The summer after 8th grade,
Anna's father got a job in California,
76
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,995
and just like that, she was gone.
77
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,590
As for me and Jake,
our friendship just got stronger.
78
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,176
We were like most kids in New York,
79
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,929
but there was one unusual component:
80
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,724
We were fascinated
with each other's religions.
81
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,435
He showed me
the secret rituals of Judaism,
82
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,730
and I revealed
the Catholic mysteries.
83
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:06,568
Just remember:
Spectacles, testicles, watch, wallet.
84
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:20,582
What makes two kids want to be
a priest and a rabbi nowadays?
85
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,668
People don't talk much
about a calling anymore,
86
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,962
but I knew it was what
I was supposed to do.
87
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:29,299
Even then, people felt good
bringing their problems to me.
88
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:33,929
My parents had given up
on children before me,
89
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,389
so my mother called me
her "gift from God."
90
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:41,353
That stuck with me, so at eight I told
her I felt I had to return the favor.
91
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,438
She was so happy, she cried.
92
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,441
My dad just wanted to know
if working for God came with dental.
93
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,280
Jake's sense of a calling
didn't gel as early as mine.
94
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:56,451
Religion was more of a hobby for him.
95
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,286
Got it, got it,
96
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:04,292
need it, need it,
got it, got it, need it, got it.
97
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,883
Jake was one of those special kids.
Smart, popular.
98
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,886
Everything came easy to him.
He had an aura.
99
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:20,183
You took one look at him, and you
knew he could do anything in life.
100
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:24,479
Jake's family had been in investment
banking for three generations.
101
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:28,483
His father and brother Ethan
wanted him to join the family firm.
102
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,361
I think he considered it,
103
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,739
but he wanted to do
something different with his life.
104
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:39,160
He made his decision to become
a rabbi with confidence and resolve.
105
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,079
I don't wanna listen to you!
106
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:45,166
We went off to seminary the way
other guys go off to the Peace Corps.
107
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,543
It was an adventure.
108
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:53,717
Newly ordained, we were both
assigned back to New York City,
109
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:56,386
where we quickly confronted
the practical aspects of our jobs.
110
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,707
Jesus!
111
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:38,011
Despite these setbacks,
we found our groove.
112
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:42,057
Take it nice and easy.
Win them over slowly, okay?
113
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,143
Shabbat shalom, everyone!
114
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,395
I want you to do me a favor.
115
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:51,358
I want everybody in the back
to come and fill up the front rows.
116
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:56,112
Guys, come on! Let's try again.
Shabbat shalom!
117
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,074
- Shabbat shalom!
- Thank you, Mom.
118
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:03,912
Ma'am, you in the back, come on!
God hates a solo artist, I promise you.
119
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,498
We're the Fugees, no Lauryn Hills.
120
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:13,421
My mom was the only person here
at the level of shabbat shalom-iness
121
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,465
that I think we can hit.
122
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:20,387
Sir, you're leaving. It's customary
to sneak out after the communion.
123
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,139
Give me something I can work with!
Shabbat shalom!
124
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,935
- Shabbat shalom!
- All right! Now we can daven!
125
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:31,564
I don't want to brag, but word
got out there was a new act in town,
126
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:36,403
and soon we played to the packed
houses I knew were our destiny.
127
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:41,324
I know. I know!
128
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:49,165
Seriously, what is the story of Sodom
and Gomorrah really about?
129
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:52,585
- Anyone? Steve Posner.
- Sexual perversion.
130
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:57,090
Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's
watching too much Spice Channel.
131
00:11:57,341 --> 00:12:02,554
The Seven Deadly Sins. Who can
name the Seven Deadly Sins?
132
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:09,644
People! It was a film with Brad Pitt.
You have the ultimate Cliff Note!
133
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:14,691
And Lot takes them in and he protects
them. What happens next?
134
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:18,236
Anybody? Greta Mussbaum,
before she pulls her rotator cuff.
135
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:24,325
- God spares Lot and his family.
- Bingo! Two-week cruise for Greta!
136
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,454
You're going to the Bahamas!
137
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:32,083
When you think about it,
God is a lot like Blanche Du Bois.
138
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,544
He's always relied
on the kindness of strangers.
139
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,631
That's what the story's about,
us taking care of each other.
140
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,801
God relies on us
to take care of each other.
141
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:46,556
The truth is, I don't really learn about
your faith by asking such questions.
142
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,518
Those aren't questions about faith,
they're about religion.
143
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,397
It's important to understand
the difference between them,
144
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,484
because faith is not about
having the right answers.
145
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:02,030
Faith is a feeling, faith is a hunch.
146
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:06,659
It's a hunch that there is
something bigger, connecting it all.
147
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:09,037
Connecting us all together.
148
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,666
And that feeling, that hunch, is God.
149
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:20,840
Coming here on Sunday evening
to connect with that feeling,
150
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,843
that is an act of faith.
151
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:28,139
So all I have to do is look around
the room, at this packed church,
152
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:32,393
to know that we're doing pretty well
as a community.
153
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,106
Even if all of you failed
my pop quiz miserably.
154
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:41,236
Let us pray.
155
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,991
Jake and I wanted
to kick the dust off our faiths.
156
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:50,703
Bring them up to speed,
no more old routines.
157
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,957
Jake said, "We'll give them an
Old World God with a New Age spin."
158
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,045
Feel the prana!
159
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,464
We decided to turn
an abandoned disco
160
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:05,969
into a joint Catholic-Jewish
senior center/karaoke lounge.
161
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:09,264
A Fiddler on the Roof meets
Lord of the Dance
162
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:12,100
meets Buena Vista Social Club.
163
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:17,021
Not an easy idea to sell,
but we wanted to push the envelope.
164
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:20,650
We would bring our religions
into the 21 st century.
165
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,986
We were gonna shove them a little,
if we had to.
166
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:28,283
Jake said we'd be like young cops
shaking up the force.
167
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:30,326
You know. The God Squad.
168
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:43,381
Well, it's just like the ocean
under the moon
169
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:47,802
Well, that's the same as the emotion
that I get from you
170
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:52,181
You got the kind of loving
that can be so smooth, yeah
171
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:56,269
Give me your heart, make it real
Or else forget about it
172
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,321
I'll ring it.
173
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:08,656
Nice.
174
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,994
Ben Lewis comes into my office
this morning, tells me he's retiring.
175
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,622
- Rabbi Lewis?
- Yeah.
176
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,918
- The end of an era.
- I know!
177
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,683
That's exciting. How long until
they give it over to you officially?
178
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:28,968
There are a few backward thinkers
on that board who don't get what I do.
179
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,471
Plus, there's the fact that I'm single.
180
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,518
- Single?
- Don't think that's not an issue.
181
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,605
Wait a minute. Are you serious?
182
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:44,943
If you don't find a nice Jewish girl soon,
you won't get the job?
183
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:49,238
I'm telling you, B'Nai Ezra
hasn't had a bachelor head rabbi
184
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:52,241
since the beginning of the synagogue.
185
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,620
I mean, you better start
getting out there more.
186
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,165
It's embarrassing.
187
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:02,168
Forget that.
You want to meet somebody, right?
188
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:07,215
I just want to meet somebody
in a spontaneous and casual manner.
189
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,051
- And it's impossible with me.
- Why?
190
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:14,389
- Because I'm a rabbi!
- Yes, yes. What's your point?
191
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,558
I don't know if a woman
goes out with me for me,
192
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,979
or because I'm Rabbi Jake, you know?
193
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:24,691
There's an expectation,
I can't go with my impulses...
194
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,653
Jews want rabbis to be the kind of
Jews they don't have the time to be.
195
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:32,865
And Catholics want priests
to have the discipline they don't have.
196
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,410
- We knew this.
- You're right.
197
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:39,747
Oh, no, man, check this out.
God Squad in the house!
198
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:43,376
- Hi, Shabazz.
- You gonna give it up, Rabbi?
199
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:47,046
Say your prayers,
because I am in no mood today.
200
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,923
Watch your ass, Shabazz!
201
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:55,930
Turn me loose
Let's turn it up
202
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,227
Power to the people y'all
Turn me loose
203
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:02,729
Hey!
204
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:12,238
- Bye. See you guys.
- Tell your mother I said hi.
205
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:25,793
I've gotta quit playing the guys from
Jewish seminary, it lowers the bar.
206
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:31,507
- Can I just say oy?
- Amen to your oy.
207
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:36,262
- What happened to our youth?
- It ended at 30.
208
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,515
Speaking of our youth,
I forgot to tell you.
209
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,518
- This is big. Guess who called me?
- Who?
210
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:47,231
Who is the coolest woman
you and I have ever known, ever?
211
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:53,321
- That's easy. Anna Reilly, 8th grade.
- You got it.
212
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,865
- What? She called you?
- Yeah!
213
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,989
- Anna Reilly called you?
- Totally out of the blue.
214
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:58,993
Why?
215
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,498
She's coming to New York for work,
and she wants to get together.
216
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,542
Really? What is she doing now?
217
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:11,422
She's analyzing synergies
or synergizing analogies.
218
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:16,135
I couldn't follow it,
she's a very high-powered business...
219
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,262
- Woman?
- Yes, thank you.
220
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:21,891
- You told her about us?
- Yeah, she flipped.
221
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:24,685
She laughed for ten minutes,
but she was excited.
222
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:28,356
- Man, that is so cool!
- I know.
223
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:33,444
- I wonder why she called you?
- What do you mean?
224
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:36,572
No, I mean, she called you.
225
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:41,369
- Are you in the 8th grade still?
- It's a legitimate question.
226
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:45,456
- I mean, we're both listed.
- Finn before Schram, okay?
227
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:50,294
- You're ridiculous.
- That's a good point. Alphabetical.
228
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,099
- Let's toss this, we look like idiots.
- Shut up, we do not!
229
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,267
You shut up.
230
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,768
Think she's changed?
231
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:10,231
No, I bet she still weighs 88 pounds
and listens to Leif Garrett.
232
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:14,152
For the record, it's Leif, long A.
Didn't you see Behind the Music?
233
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,280
Admit it, you're excited.
234
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,408
The three of us together again.
I can't believe it!
235
00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,413
- Is that her?
- No.
236
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:36,883
- Hail Mary... full of something.
- Mary, full of...
237
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,263
Hello, boys!
238
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:48,728
- I don't understand.
- I'm like a plumber, I fix leaky firms.
239
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:52,982
Jake Schram. How are you?
240
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,319
Who are you? Tell me everything.
Give me the 411.
241
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,822
- Job, girls, news...
- Come on, I know him.
242
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:04,076
- You start, catch us up.
- All right. Job is good. Really good.
243
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,581
My parents are happy
and retired, and I take yoga.
244
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,625
- Men?
- That's my life.
245
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:15,546
- Come on, don't cheat us.
- I don't have time for relationships.
246
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:19,258
I work like 100 hours a week,
you guys have no idea.
247
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:23,804
- Excuse me, we work pretty hard for...
- Yeah, working for the...
248
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,975
- That's a full-time thing.
- No, I work harder than God.
249
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,646
If he'd hired me, he'd have made
the world by Thursday.
250
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:37,318
- So you're saying we won't see you?
- No, for you guys, I will make time.
251
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,904
- I feel special.
- That's my bag.
252
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,406
- I got it.
- I got it.
253
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,450
- I got it!
- I got it. Give it to me.
254
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:49,038
- Okay, thanks. You okay?
- Yep, no, go.
255
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,750
Remember the names
of the kids from school?
256
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,878
- Remember Aram Salaam?
- His father was a diplomat.
257
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,173
He said he had diplomatic immunity.
258
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,842
- Elan Portnoy?
- He always complained.
259
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:03,844
He was always smoking pot.
260
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:20,903
- Remember our shoplifting club?
- You had to steal to be a member.
261
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:26,242
You stuck that basketball under
your shirt and said you were pregnant.
262
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:28,869
- I pulled it off.
- You were 12.
263
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:32,915
It was New York in the '80s,
you could get away with anything.
264
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:35,418
- We should get home.
- Yeah, it's late.
265
00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:39,672
I'm still on West Coast time.
It's 8:00 for me. Let's do something.
266
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:48,431
So, this is a rectory.
Sounds like a dirty word. Rectory.
267
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,224
- Great place to meet chicks.
- Totally.
268
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,519
I'll bet. So, what's your chick situation?
269
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:58,149
- Don't ask, it's not a good story.
- Why?
270
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:02,320
His congregation wants to set him up,
it makes him uncomfortable.
271
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:05,698
- Why?
- Pandas don't mate in captivity.
272
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,326
What does that mean?
273
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,203
All these mothers make dates
for me that I can't refuse.
274
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,748
They're intimidating.
They're like the Kosher Nostra.
275
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,752
It's true. They're little women,
but very determined.
276
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:19,920
You're being melodramatic.
277
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:24,925
Oh, yeah? Check this out. I was faxed
one of their daughter's résumés.
278
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,554
- Let me see that. Ali Decker.
- Look at the bottom.
279
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:31,849
- Oh, she has a skills section.
- Yes?
280
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,643
You win. She put jogging as a skill.
281
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,646
She can't even differentiate
between a hobby and a skill.
282
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:40,900
- Maybe she's a skilled jogger.
- I have to date this girl!
283
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,611
- Why don't I say no?
- Why don't you?
284
00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:47,198
I can't alienate them,
I need body count at the temple.
285
00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:49,575
Just relax. It'll be fine.
286
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,789
Oh, God, please let this be painless.
287
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,749
- Hi!
- Hi!
288
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,585
Right on time. I like that in a rabbi.
289
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:05,800
- Hey, this is a great place.
- My lair.
290
00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:08,302
- Really nice.
- Be ready in a second.
291
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:12,431
- A lot of space.
- I know. "Thanks, Daddy," right?
292
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,060
You go, girl!
293
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,315
No pain, no gain!
294
00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:26,320
Oh, Tuesdays with Morrie.
I love that book.
295
00:23:36,331 --> 00:23:38,207
I'm ready.
296
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,877
- You do these tapes?
- Are you kidding me?
297
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,213
- No.
- Are you kidding me?
298
00:23:44,339 --> 00:23:47,925
- No.
- Exercise is like a religion to me.
299
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,137
No pun intended. Feel my abs!
300
00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:54,223
- Not bad, right?
- Ouch!
301
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:56,225
- Punch me.
- Excuse me?
302
00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:59,395
- You heard me.
- I'm not gonna punch you.
303
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,274
You'll find, Rabbi,
that this princess is no pushover.
304
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:06,193
I can tell. Call me Jake, all right?
305
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:10,114
Okay, let's get a few things
straight here, Jake.
306
00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:16,078
One, I like you a lot, and unless
I'm wrong, I think you like me.
307
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:20,291
- Well, we just met...
- Two, I am many things.
308
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:24,628
No one thing defines me.
Are we clear about that, Jake?
309
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:27,673
- Yes.
- Then let me have it!
310
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:31,260
- I'm not gonna punch you.
- Punch me. Hit me!
311
00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:34,180
- I can take it, I'm not scared.
- I know you're not.
312
00:24:34,222 --> 00:24:36,515
- Are you a wuss?
- I'm not a wuss.
313
00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:38,309
- Little wuss, little wuss...
- All right!
314
00:24:40,979 --> 00:24:44,398
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
315
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:49,737
- Just get my bag.
- Okay. You said you could take it...
316
00:24:50,530 --> 00:24:54,116
- That headband's wonderful.
- I'm glad you noticed.
317
00:24:54,201 --> 00:24:57,536
- What is that?
- It was beaded by the mentally retarded.
318
00:24:57,913 --> 00:25:01,248
- It looks really good.
- They're heavily supervised.
319
00:25:01,374 --> 00:25:04,752
- But it really seems to...
- It goes together well.
320
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,756
- No, that's all...
- Get away from the table!
321
00:25:08,798 --> 00:25:14,595
No, no! That's okay.
Here, don't! Here, thank you.
322
00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:18,057
You're flushing it down the toilet!
He'll spend it on booze.
323
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:29,818
I had a great time.
Thank you, it was wonderful.
324
00:25:34,991 --> 00:25:37,618
- Goodnight.
- Don't you want to come up?
325
00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:42,665
- I shouldn't...
- Believe me, you should.
326
00:25:42,749 --> 00:25:47,962
No, I can't.
You're a congregant, and you know...
327
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:51,632
I'm telling you, you can. I want you to.
328
00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:58,556
I... I would love to, I just... I got a...
I have a friend at home.
329
00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,559
- A friend?
- A male friend. A guy.
330
00:26:02,727 --> 00:26:08,190
A dog. A male dog.
A beautiful puppy named Pinkus.
331
00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:10,234
- Pinkus can wait.
- No, he's a Rottweiler.
332
00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:11,652
Just come up for a minute.
333
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:17,157
No, don't! No, listen to me,
this dog is a co-dependent puppy,
334
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,327
he needs my help or he goes
to the bathroom over everything.
335
00:26:20,870 --> 00:26:24,373
- Well, send me the cleaning bill. Go.
- No, don't go, stay.
336
00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:28,502
- You are making me crazy, Rabbi!
- You're making me so...
337
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:31,338
- Just come up for a minute!
- No. No.
338
00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:33,173
- I can't!
- Just come on!
339
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,177
Are you okay? Good!
340
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:41,849
Go, go! Thanks, I had
a wonderful time! See you in shul!
341
00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:27,645
Are you playing games with me, Phil?
Are you sure?
342
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:30,314
Because you know
better than that, right?
343
00:27:30,982 --> 00:27:35,903
Okay. If those results are correct,
then I say we have a deal.
344
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:38,238
I'll expect it in writing
by the end of the day.
345
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:44,912
Yes, by the end of the day, Phil.
Did I stutter?
346
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:47,456
Phil, I don't have time for this, okay?
347
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:51,043
Gotta go, Phil. Gotta go.
348
00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:55,047
No way.
349
00:27:57,258 --> 00:28:00,427
Oh, yeah, baby.
350
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:20,614
Okay, it's okay. Take a break.
351
00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:23,617
I suck. They'll take away my yarmulke.
352
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:27,121
- You don't suck.
- I suck.
353
00:28:27,622 --> 00:28:33,293
Okay, yes, you do suck. But that's okay,
you're supposed to suck.
354
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,422
This isn't a talent contest,
it's a rite of passage.
355
00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:40,426
This happens in all cultures,
it's about you being 13.
356
00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:45,597
God knows your voice changes,
that's why you do your haftorah now.
357
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,765
It's a challenge.
358
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:49,768
God is challenging you.
He's calling you a chump!
359
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:52,646
You gotta come back at him!
Say, "Hey, hashem",
360
00:28:52,689 --> 00:28:58,068
"you think you can scare me
'cause my balls haven't dropped yet?"
361
00:28:58,319 --> 00:29:01,447
I'm serious! You gotta show him
what Alan Klein's made of!
362
00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:06,243
- How?
- By sucking with style! Embrace it!
363
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:09,913
- Say, "I love that I suck."
- I love that I suck.
364
00:29:10,206 --> 00:29:12,958
Good! But own it.
Say it, "I love that I suck!"
365
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:16,295
I love that I suck!
366
00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:17,504
Good. You play.
367
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:21,675
- I love that I suck.
- Keep going with that.
368
00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:23,886
I'll see you next week. Hello?
369
00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:27,431
- Hello?
- You suck! Hey, Anna?
370
00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:30,017
I thought I got the Tony Robbins hotline.
371
00:29:30,059 --> 00:29:33,812
- Sorry, just finishing up. How are you?
- How was the big date?
372
00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:38,609
That's funny. I had an impulse to call
you, but I thought it was too late.
373
00:29:38,693 --> 00:29:41,361
You should have, I was stuck here.
374
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,615
- Really?
- So, how'd it go?
375
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:50,204
Mostly horrible, with a few brief
moments of excruciating agony.
376
00:29:50,246 --> 00:29:53,832
- But at least it was long.
- I'm so sorry. What a waste.
377
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:56,293
People should have to qualify
to go out with you.
378
00:29:56,377 --> 00:29:58,629
You're too precious
to be on the open market.
379
00:29:58,713 --> 00:30:01,548
- That's what I tell them.
- They should listen to you.
380
00:30:03,092 --> 00:30:06,220
- If only you were Jewish.
- Well, nobody's perfect.
381
00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:11,391
- So, what did you wear?
- What?
382
00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:15,312
I'm not telling you what I wore.
Why should I?
383
00:30:15,396 --> 00:30:19,733
I want an image of a young rabbi
on the prowl. What's your game?
384
00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:25,197
- All right. Blue button-down shirt.
- A good color for your eyes.
385
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:27,032
Blue pinstripe suit.
386
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:30,994
I can picture that.
Tasteful, yet with a quiet power.
387
00:30:31,287 --> 00:30:35,207
- That's me. Chic, with a quiet power.
- Shoes?
388
00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:40,128
- Black. Kenneth Cole. Leather.
- Size?
389
00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:44,091
Big.
390
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:49,137
- Wanna hear about my tie?
- Baby, no. Save room for dessert.
391
00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:54,434
- Don't give up hope.
- I'll keep it alive.
392
00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:58,647
- Goodbye, Mr. Sharp-Dressed Man.
- Bye-bye.
393
00:31:12,078 --> 00:31:14,079
Oh, nice!
394
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:30,262
I have a friend here
I thought you might want to see.
395
00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:36,351
Will you please turn
to page 508 for Ein Keloheinu.
396
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,146
Sorry, Raphae, hang on a second.
397
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:44,276
I have to say this first because
it's really been bothering me.
398
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:48,363
Ein Keloheinu. It's a joyous song.
399
00:31:48,823 --> 00:31:51,533
It's a prayer about praising the Lord,
400
00:31:51,701 --> 00:31:55,579
telling the Lord
how much we love Him, or Her.
401
00:31:55,663 --> 00:31:59,750
But no matter what I do,
you don't sing it with any feeling.
402
00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:01,335
I mean, I brought in the band.
403
00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:06,673
That didn't work.
I brought in my bongos last week.
404
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:09,051
I think we can all agree
that was a backwards step.
405
00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:16,183
So, this morning,
I'm bringing in a little outside help.
406
00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:18,268
Maury, if you would!
407
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:32,908
You can even sing along. Come on!
408
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,534
Have a little fun with it!
409
00:32:39,582 --> 00:32:42,834
That's right. Get up! Get those butts
out of the chairs. Come on!
410
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,048
Up in the cheap seats!
411
00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:52,260
I can't hear you up there. Sing it out!
412
00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:55,847
Over 70!
413
00:32:56,849 --> 00:32:59,017
Come on, all the young Jews!
414
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:14,700
- You were wonderful!
- Rabbi! Rabbi!
415
00:33:27,922 --> 00:33:31,842
This is astonishing!
This is a house of worship!
416
00:33:31,926 --> 00:33:33,635
If my grandfather had seen this...
417
00:33:34,012 --> 00:33:37,931
This is my daughter Ruthie.
She's going to be a physiotherapist.
418
00:33:39,642 --> 00:33:43,395
Rabbi, you're so wonderful.
You know my daughter Hillary.
419
00:33:52,989 --> 00:33:56,700
Jake, Bonnie Rose.
Have you met my daughter Rachel?
420
00:33:56,784 --> 00:33:59,286
- Hi, Jake.
- Oh, hi!
421
00:33:59,328 --> 00:34:01,663
We don't often get celebrities here.
422
00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:06,334
Once when I was young,
Bella Abzug showed up for a bris...
423
00:34:06,961 --> 00:34:11,465
I've heard so much about you.
The service was wonderful.
424
00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:14,718
You were really, really wonderful.
425
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,889
- We're all aware of your success.
- She's now in network prime time.
426
00:34:18,973 --> 00:34:22,768
- Look, we get on a live feed.
- My mom does all my PR.
427
00:34:22,810 --> 00:34:26,813
- I know what you mean. Mine, too.
- No, my mother's firm does my PR.
428
00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:30,525
I'm at PMK.
We got her special correspondent.
429
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:31,610
Great!
430
00:34:31,652 --> 00:34:34,821
- She just interviewed Arafat.
- Yasser?
431
00:34:35,114 --> 00:34:37,657
- In Arabic.
- That's great, I didn't know.
432
00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:41,995
What you don't know is a lot.
You two should get together.
433
00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:44,873
- Sure.
- I'm free on Thursday.
434
00:34:44,957 --> 00:34:48,668
- Thursday, that's great.
- Okay.
435
00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:50,212
Great. Nice to see you, Bonnie.
436
00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:58,261
This is the man you told me about.
437
00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:01,264
I appreciate what you did
for us in the war...
438
00:35:04,393 --> 00:35:07,854
- How upset are they?
- They're less than thrilled.
439
00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:12,317
- We're less than thrilled.
- With what, specifically?
440
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,822
With what, specifically?
With guided meditation, specifically.
441
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:23,203
With stand-up comedy sermons,
and your loose improvisational style.
442
00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:27,666
With people enjoying services,
people showing up at all?
443
00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:30,544
To be serenaded
by the Harlem Gospel Choir?
444
00:35:30,586 --> 00:35:34,047
- At least they were praying!
- It was a hell of an Ein Keloheinu.
445
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:36,716
- It's not kosher!
- What does that mean?
446
00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:39,386
What's kosher? Study your gemara.
447
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:42,472
Do you feel the same way?
448
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:46,184
It's not your ideas.
Your ideas are very good.
449
00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:49,020
You're just a little aggressive...
450
00:35:49,063 --> 00:35:54,192
- But, Ben, come on! It was working!
- I know, I know.
451
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:57,863
- You shake things up. That's good.
- When it works.
452
00:35:57,905 --> 00:36:03,451
But appreciate that many people
come here for a sense of continuity.
453
00:36:03,744 --> 00:36:07,706
It's not just the board.
It's your congregation, Jake.
454
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:12,586
Mrs. Katz likes to sing
Ein Keloheinu the way she knows it.
455
00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:16,756
Tradition is not old habit.
It's comforting to people.
456
00:36:16,799 --> 00:36:19,634
I'm not interested
in babysitting Mrs. Katz.
457
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:23,388
I want to push people to grow.
Otherwise, what are we doing?
458
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:27,601
I know, but you have
to be patient with them.
459
00:36:27,685 --> 00:36:30,353
You'll find people go a lot farther
460
00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:34,774
if they feel they're being led
and not pushed!
461
00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:39,779
Good for you, Anna.
462
00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:42,741
No more of this
"woman behind the man" shit.
463
00:36:42,783 --> 00:36:46,119
Most men are unworthy
of the opportunities they've had.
464
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:49,080
As a woman on your own,
trying to succeed,
465
00:36:49,123 --> 00:36:52,834
what do you do
with that victory energy each day?
466
00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:55,045
Don't you want to share it?
467
00:36:55,129 --> 00:36:58,465
Do what they do. Take lovers.
I've had more dates than Jake.
468
00:36:58,549 --> 00:36:59,633
Mom...
469
00:36:59,675 --> 00:37:04,679
It's true. And when lovers bore,
which they will, sublimate.
470
00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:08,850
- I take classes.
- Me, too! What's your favorite?
471
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:11,353
- Kabbalah. You?
- Kick-boxing.
472
00:37:11,437 --> 00:37:16,816
I used to take kick-boxing, but it was
too high-impact. I take tae-bo now.
473
00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:20,278
- It's doubled my energy.
- I need that high impact.
474
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:23,448
I know, I take
Native American drumming.
475
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:25,992
You take tae-bo?
476
00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:28,995
Look at those pomegranates.
477
00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:38,505
Our-Lady's bedstraw.
The most poetic herb.
478
00:37:38,547 --> 00:37:41,633
Now, over to you.
Anybody new in your life?
479
00:37:41,676 --> 00:37:44,511
Twenty minutes.
I can't believe we got this far.
480
00:37:44,553 --> 00:37:48,014
It's my right to check.
What about that Shapiro girl?
481
00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:51,268
- Not the Shapiro girl.
- Why? She was a looker.
482
00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:54,396
- The problem was here.
- What? Bad skin?
483
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,606
- No, not bad skin.
- What?
484
00:37:56,691 --> 00:38:01,194
You want an example? I take her out
to dinner. She doesn't want dessert.
485
00:38:01,237 --> 00:38:04,531
I get pecan pie.
She asks for a bite, I give it to her.
486
00:38:04,573 --> 00:38:09,369
Her face swells up like a chipmunk.
She says, "Are there nuts in this?"
487
00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:12,747
- So what?
- Mom, it was pecan pie!
488
00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:17,460
- There must be somebody for you.
- Come on, tell her!
489
00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:20,463
- He's got a very hot prospect.
- Who?
490
00:38:21,048 --> 00:38:24,718
Rachel Rose!
That's who I'm going out with.
491
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,471
- ABC Rachel Rose?
- Yes, ABC Rachel Rose.
492
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:32,183
I could be in-laws
with ABC Rachel Rose.
493
00:38:32,476 --> 00:38:34,185
Peter Jennings would be
at the wedding!
494
00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:39,232
Speaking of in-laws, Ethan and Jackie
took me to her mom's new play.
495
00:38:39,275 --> 00:38:41,568
- How is Ethan?
- He just got promoted.
496
00:38:41,610 --> 00:38:46,573
He's a vice-president now.
They gave him Dad's old office.
497
00:38:48,242 --> 00:38:50,785
How nice. I got to hear this from you.
498
00:38:51,203 --> 00:38:54,831
- Maybe if you called him...
- I don't want to talk about it.
499
00:38:54,957 --> 00:39:00,003
- Mom, he'd love to hear from you.
- Please, Jake, don't spoil this.
500
00:39:00,504 --> 00:39:03,798
I got you, I'm proud of you.
I got this beautiful garden.
501
00:39:03,883 --> 00:39:06,676
I've reconnected with this old friend.
502
00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:10,597
Let's just hold hands and breathe.
Together.
503
00:39:14,268 --> 00:39:15,977
- You're not breathing.
- I am.
504
00:39:16,270 --> 00:39:19,731
- I don't hear you breathing.
- I don't breathe audibly.
505
00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:36,206
Blam!
506
00:39:56,727 --> 00:40:01,689
- All right, I gotta go. I gotta go!
- Gotta go, really gotta go!
507
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,192
Why not have that thing
implanted in your ear?
508
00:40:04,276 --> 00:40:06,069
I'll be top on the list.
509
00:40:06,153 --> 00:40:08,571
- ¿ Hola, MarÃa, cómo está?
- Beep! Beep!
510
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,826
- Hello, young sir!
- Hello, Radio Man.
511
00:40:12,868 --> 00:40:16,871
- It's like I'm in The Godfather.
- I'm God's consigliere.
512
00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:18,998
Gotta go through me to get to Him.
513
00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:20,542
Children.
514
00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:43,898
I totally forget
how amazing New York is.
515
00:40:43,983 --> 00:40:48,027
I know. Whoever said it,
it was really true.
516
00:40:48,070 --> 00:40:51,322
New Yorkers understand
people living elsewhere
517
00:40:51,365 --> 00:40:53,491
must be, in some sense, kidding.
518
00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:05,420
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah, obviously, anything.
519
00:41:05,504 --> 00:41:07,213
It's personal, so...
520
00:41:08,757 --> 00:41:12,760
- Are we gonna have the sex talk?
- Yes!
521
00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:15,930
- I want to know how this works for you.
- It's fine. Fire away.
522
00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:18,766
- Really?
- Yeah, I know you got a list.
523
00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:20,018
Okay.
524
00:41:21,395 --> 00:41:25,148
- Well, you don't, right?
- No.
525
00:41:25,232 --> 00:41:27,358
- At all?
- At all.
526
00:41:28,235 --> 00:41:29,777
So, have you ever...
527
00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:33,907
- Yes!
- Had sex? Yes.
528
00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:36,034
- With women?
- Yes.
529
00:41:36,076 --> 00:41:38,244
- So, you're not gay.
- No.
530
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,913
- Sure?
- Yes.
531
00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:43,416
But even if I was,
the rules are the same.
532
00:41:44,585 --> 00:41:46,461
- Do you miss it?
- No.
533
00:41:46,545 --> 00:41:48,046
- Are you tempted?
- No.
534
00:41:48,088 --> 00:41:51,716
- You'd love it if the rule changed.
- I don't think about it.
535
00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:54,177
- Do you fantasize?
- Not really.
536
00:41:54,261 --> 00:41:57,514
How is that possible?
I've seen how women look at you.
537
00:41:57,723 --> 00:41:59,933
Especially knowing you're a priest.
538
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:03,686
- I'm not blind, okay.
- How do you deal with that?
539
00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:07,774
It's not an issue for me. It's really not.
540
00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:10,443
- Really?
- I'm past that point.
541
00:42:10,778 --> 00:42:13,947
I'm completely committed to what I do.
542
00:42:14,031 --> 00:42:17,784
To my work. It defines me,
completely, as a person.
543
00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:21,871
And it fulfills me. I'm very happy.
544
00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:26,125
That particular sacrifice is a gesture,
a symbol of my commitment.
545
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:30,046
- Quite a gesture.
- I know it seems that way.
546
00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:33,550
It's like giving up smoking,
the first year is tough,
547
00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:36,302
but then you don't care
if you see people smoke.
548
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,805
I quit two years ago
and when I see smokers,
549
00:42:38,847 --> 00:42:42,392
I want to French kiss them
to suck the smoke out of their lungs.
550
00:42:42,476 --> 00:42:44,561
Well, don't be a priest!
551
00:42:45,479 --> 00:42:50,233
I really admire your commitment.
I don't think I could take it.
552
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,735
You've sacrificed for what you do.
553
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:57,532
There comes a point
where I just crave contact,
554
00:42:57,741 --> 00:43:02,829
you know, like I want
to touch someone, and be touched.
555
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:05,915
You're amazing.
556
00:43:08,168 --> 00:43:10,169
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
557
00:43:13,382 --> 00:43:16,301
- Thus endeth the sex conversation?
- Thus endeth.
558
00:43:19,179 --> 00:43:22,807
I bet no one ever asks
the Dalai Lama these questions.
559
00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:35,361
Len, don't argue with me.
I have it right here, and it's not right.
560
00:43:35,404 --> 00:43:39,616
I'll be back in an hour, run it again.
God, I hate these Harvard guys!
561
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:46,122
Rachel Rose! When's that going down?
562
00:43:46,206 --> 00:43:48,541
- Thursday.
- Thursday night, 8: 00 p. M. Dinner.
563
00:43:48,917 --> 00:43:51,878
- Are you excited?
- Yeah, I have a pretty good feeling.
564
00:43:52,755 --> 00:43:56,883
- Where are you taking her?
- I thought Ernie's.
565
00:43:56,967 --> 00:44:01,763
You can't take her to Ernie's!
It's been around since we were kids!
566
00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:05,850
- You cannot take Rachel Rose there.
- Definitely not.
567
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:10,104
- You must go somewhere new and hot.
- Definitely hot.
568
00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:12,815
- What's new and hot?
- What do we know about her?
569
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:17,236
Twenty-nine years old, journalism
school, Middle East Affairs expert.
570
00:44:17,279 --> 00:44:20,031
Perfect. Middle Eastern.
She can order in Arabic.
571
00:44:21,742 --> 00:44:25,703
- What's a good place?
- Delphini's. Four stars.
572
00:44:25,746 --> 00:44:27,038
You need a reservation.
573
00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:31,250
- Will you wear a suit, or go casual?
- I don't know. I guess cas...
574
00:44:31,418 --> 00:44:35,004
- No, suit, definitely a suit.
- Shut up, Rain Man. Seriously!
575
00:44:36,423 --> 00:44:39,384
- Now you're making me think.
- Relax.
576
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,219
What if you guys came with me?
577
00:44:42,429 --> 00:44:46,265
Bring a priest on your date?
What kind of strategy is that?
578
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:50,978
Not a priest, my friend Brian,
and his girlfriend, Anna. A double date.
579
00:44:52,481 --> 00:44:55,358
Pretend you're a couple. Are you busy?
580
00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:59,112
- You could bring your cell phone.
- That's not the point.
581
00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:02,865
- What's the point?
- You don't need a chaperone.
582
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:06,744
I don't need a chaperone,
I need some help. Please?
583
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:09,372
I'm begging you.
584
00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:16,129
That's how the business is going.
People want news to be edgy.
585
00:45:16,171 --> 00:45:19,006
- That's why Brokaw stands now.
- What?
586
00:45:19,091 --> 00:45:22,552
- Tom Brokaw stands to read the news.
- The whole time?
587
00:45:22,803 --> 00:45:24,595
- Yeah.
- He does?
588
00:45:25,639 --> 00:45:29,142
- He's done it for about a year now.
- Really? I gotta watch the news more.
589
00:45:29,476 --> 00:45:32,562
I saw your sarin gas report.
It was very powerful.
590
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:35,648
Thanks.
I earned my stripes with that piece.
591
00:45:35,941 --> 00:45:40,737
- I got through a bris without fainting.
- I vetoed the "McOyster."
592
00:45:41,071 --> 00:45:43,990
- A grateful nation thanks you.
- Made me a star.
593
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:46,868
So, how long have you two
been together?
594
00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:50,997
- Oh, right...
- God, we go way back.
595
00:45:51,081 --> 00:45:53,833
We've all known each other
since we were kids.
596
00:45:53,917 --> 00:45:56,169
- I had a crush on Anna.
- Really?
597
00:45:56,211 --> 00:46:00,006
- I told you that. She knew that.
- No, you didn't!
598
00:46:01,133 --> 00:46:04,469
Anyway, we reconnected
a couple of months ago,
599
00:46:04,511 --> 00:46:07,972
and we just clicked, very unexpectedly.
600
00:46:08,015 --> 00:46:11,100
I think it's great
to be friends first, don't you?
601
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:14,020
Always. Friends first.
602
00:46:15,689 --> 00:46:18,483
So, do you write your own reports?
603
00:46:18,567 --> 00:46:22,028
Yeah. I wouldn't trust
anyone else to get them right.
604
00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:25,573
You write your own sermons, right?
605
00:46:25,657 --> 00:46:27,200
Actually, I download them off the Net.
606
00:46:27,242 --> 00:46:32,371
- I use www. Hotgod.com.
- Really?
607
00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:37,835
No. No, I was kidding.
608
00:46:38,045 --> 00:46:40,755
- So, you do write your own sermons?
- Yeah.
609
00:46:41,006 --> 00:46:43,007
He writes beautiful sermons.
610
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:47,720
Actually, I like to improvise.
Keeps everybody on their toes.
611
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:51,849
I guess you can't do that
too much with the news.
612
00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:54,393
- What?
- Riff.
613
00:46:55,437 --> 00:46:56,938
No, not really.
614
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:08,825
I bet the Middle East is lovely
this time of year.
615
00:47:09,409 --> 00:47:12,036
Well, not if you're Kurdish.
616
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,748
Excuse me.
617
00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:22,672
Oh, my God! The Iraqi Defense Minister
just committed suicide.
618
00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:26,175
- Is that bad or good?
- Well, it...
619
00:47:27,594 --> 00:47:31,222
- Brian, would you explain it to him?
- I will.
620
00:47:33,892 --> 00:47:36,769
- How's it going?
- She's beautiful.
621
00:47:36,895 --> 00:47:39,814
- She's great, too.
- She's very adult.
622
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:44,277
- You're doing great, we're impressed.
- You look so hot in your suit.
623
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:49,490
- Thank you. You look beautiful.
- You do. You look amazing.
624
00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:53,703
- Thanks, men.
- There's something about you tonight.
625
00:47:53,996 --> 00:47:56,455
- An absence...
- The cell phone.
626
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:00,293
- It's set to vibrate.
- Oh, my...
627
00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:05,214
- That's sexy.
- Don't you want to be free of that?
628
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:10,887
No. You don't understand.
I have a relationship with my phone.
629
00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:13,973
We have a chemistry together.
I can't explain it.
630
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,269
- Chemistry's a funny thing.
- Yes, it is.
631
00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:21,314
Are you speaking abstractly,
or specifically?
632
00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:24,692
Abstractly.
633
00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:32,241
Well, looks like I'm going to Baghdad.
634
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:35,828
- Two seconds. It was a pleasure.
- Yeah.
635
00:48:36,246 --> 00:48:38,789
- Nice to meet you.
- Good luck to you both.
636
00:48:38,832 --> 00:48:41,250
- Talk to you soon.
- All right.
637
00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:44,003
- I'll talk to you.
- Okay, call me.
638
00:48:44,046 --> 00:48:46,505
- Call me soon.
- Thanks, again.
639
00:48:46,548 --> 00:48:48,049
Bye.
640
00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:59,310
What are you thinking about, right now?
641
00:49:00,771 --> 00:49:01,854
It's funny.
642
00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:03,940
- I was at the Met yesterday.
- Again?
643
00:49:04,024 --> 00:49:06,859
I go every week,
and I noticed a painting,
644
00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:10,029
a watercolor by Bonnard
I've passed every time.
645
00:49:10,072 --> 00:49:16,327
This time I looked at it, and I was
just riveted. It was so beautiful.
646
00:49:18,664 --> 00:49:20,790
I was just wondering
why I never saw it before.
647
00:49:22,584 --> 00:49:27,254
Sometimes we don't see things
until we're ready to see them
648
00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:30,466
in a certain way. You know?
649
00:49:32,010 --> 00:49:33,886
Very true.
650
00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:38,849
Yeah.
651
00:49:41,019 --> 00:49:43,145
What's going on with Ruth and Ethan?
652
00:49:45,899 --> 00:49:50,069
Ethan married a Catholic girl,
and that did not go over well.
653
00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:54,198
- That's why they're fighting?
- Not fighting. They're not talking.
654
00:49:54,616 --> 00:49:58,411
- Two years now. No comunicado.
- Are you serious?
655
00:49:58,495 --> 00:50:02,790
- Totally. It's...
- What? Weren't they close, then?
656
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:05,960
As close as Ruth and Jake.
657
00:50:08,463 --> 00:50:11,090
- That explains a lot.
- Yeah.
658
00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:13,884
You see why tonight was not just a date.
659
00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:25,104
I feel terrible about
having to cut the night short.
660
00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:28,107
I totally understand.
When the beeper beeps...
661
00:50:28,942 --> 00:50:30,901
I'm just going to be packing.
662
00:50:30,944 --> 00:50:35,823
Would you like to come up
for a nightcap, keep me company?
663
00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:44,081
I'd love to, but I should leave you.
I mean, you're going to Baghdad.
664
00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:48,210
Yeah. Yeah, long flight, I know.
Well, okay.
665
00:50:48,336 --> 00:50:52,423
But when you get back,
we should definitely get together.
666
00:50:53,133 --> 00:50:56,469
- I would love to. It's a date.
- Okay.
667
00:50:58,346 --> 00:51:00,181
- Bye.
- Bye.
668
00:51:14,112 --> 00:51:15,112
Taxi!
669
00:51:21,286 --> 00:51:23,412
- Well, this is me.
- Okay.
670
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:26,165
You wanna come up for a while?
671
00:51:26,291 --> 00:51:30,336
I'd love to, but I should get home.
I have an early conference call.
672
00:51:30,837 --> 00:51:33,172
Me, too. I gotta talk to the big guy.
673
00:51:35,467 --> 00:51:37,301
- Right.
- Calls early.
674
00:51:38,553 --> 00:51:41,680
- Rain check, though.
- Yeah, definitely.
675
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:44,058
Goodnight.
676
00:51:46,269 --> 00:51:48,521
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
677
00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:18,008
- Hi.
- Hi.
678
00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:24,890
- What are you doing here?
- I don't know, what am I doing here?
679
00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,161
I haven't screamed that hard
680
00:52:45,245 --> 00:52:47,580
since the US hockey team
beat the Russians.
681
00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:52,543
Incredible. I wanted to do that
since you walked off that airplane.
682
00:52:52,627 --> 00:52:56,881
Really? Right away?
You hadn't seen me in 16 years.
683
00:52:57,090 --> 00:53:01,010
I know! You were this tough,
sexy businesswoman.
684
00:53:01,094 --> 00:53:05,639
I just wanted to pull you into security
and give you a cavity search.
685
00:53:06,892 --> 00:53:09,268
That would have been impulsive.
686
00:53:09,311 --> 00:53:13,105
Well, this is pretty impulsive, for me.
687
00:53:15,108 --> 00:53:18,277
- Believe me.
- It felt good though, right?
688
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:22,072
Yeah, good.
Just, I mean, a little complicated.
689
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:29,496
What would people at work think
if they knew you slept with a rabbi?
690
00:53:29,581 --> 00:53:31,582
Could be a scandal.
691
00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:38,964
- Listen.
- Yeah?
692
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:44,094
You know what my life is like.
I'm only here for a little while.
693
00:53:44,137 --> 00:53:45,471
Yes.
694
00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:49,934
And I'm fine, just hanging out,
having a great time with you.
695
00:53:52,812 --> 00:53:57,149
But sometimes I want
to jump you, too. What can I say?
696
00:53:58,568 --> 00:54:03,656
- Is that okay?
- That's okay. It's more than okay.
697
00:54:06,701 --> 00:54:10,204
Think we should
say anything to Brian?
698
00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:14,917
I think it might be a little weird for him.
699
00:54:15,794 --> 00:54:20,673
- You don't think he'd understand?
- No, I just... I don't know.
700
00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:24,093
I think we should just keep it simple.
701
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:27,346
I'm for simple.
702
00:54:28,848 --> 00:54:32,518
I have something simple
I'd like to discuss with you.
703
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,274
Do you want to know
704
00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:44,822
If everything glittering
will turn into the gold
705
00:54:45,156 --> 00:54:50,494
I see in your hair?
I feel it could be there
706
00:54:51,079 --> 00:54:55,374
Somehow tonight
707
00:54:58,044 --> 00:55:00,921
And do you want to find
708
00:55:01,006 --> 00:55:07,261
Something worth saving?
The change would do me right
709
00:55:07,721 --> 00:55:13,100
I've been just waiting
and hesitating
710
00:55:13,226 --> 00:55:15,102
With this heart
711
00:55:17,272 --> 00:55:17,772
Of mine
712
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:29,366
You're still a mystery
713
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:36,248
But there's something so easy
in how you're sweet to me
714
00:55:37,208 --> 00:55:42,212
I feel completed
Like it's something I needed
715
00:55:42,255 --> 00:55:44,590
For this heart
716
00:55:46,301 --> 00:55:46,801
Of mine
717
00:55:56,811 --> 00:56:01,482
There's always something so tragic
718
00:56:02,942 --> 00:56:07,446
About a hopeless romantic
719
00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:27,800
We have a Jake Schram here
for Anna Reilly. Yes?
720
00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:30,010
Okay.
721
00:56:31,179 --> 00:56:34,973
I'll be coming here a lot,
so let's forget this name thing,
722
00:56:35,016 --> 00:56:38,936
you can just say, "Hey, Jake,"
and I'll say, "Hey, T-Bone."
723
00:56:40,730 --> 00:56:43,816
- That pass is good for one hour.
- Okay. Thank you.
724
00:56:44,984 --> 00:56:49,738
Wednesday night, you have a call
at 7:00 and dinner at 8:00.
725
00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:53,117
All right. I'll make the call,
but cancel the dinner. I have a class.
726
00:56:54,536 --> 00:56:56,745
He's late.
727
00:56:58,164 --> 00:57:01,875
Oh, my God.
Are you guys getting serious?
728
00:57:02,544 --> 00:57:05,337
- No, no, no.
- Yes, you are.
729
00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:07,798
- No, we're not.
- I saw it, I can tell!
730
00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:10,592
No, no... Oh, he's here!
731
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:13,679
- Hey.
- Hi.
732
00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:18,934
Debbie, this is Jake. Jake, vice versa.
733
00:57:19,018 --> 00:57:20,978
- How you doing?
- Hi, Jake.
734
00:57:21,020 --> 00:57:25,274
Can I just say... Good. Good for you.
735
00:57:25,358 --> 00:57:27,526
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
736
00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:32,406
- Debbie...
- Debbie... Debbie, what?
737
00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:36,577
The numbers are good for you, now?
738
00:57:37,078 --> 00:57:42,875
Good. Just run one more scenario
and assume an 8% I RR.
739
00:57:42,959 --> 00:57:44,418
Bye.
740
00:57:47,964 --> 00:57:50,883
- Hi.
- You're really gonna run an 8% I RR?
741
00:57:50,925 --> 00:57:54,595
- I'd go with 15%, at least.
- Stick with the Torah.
742
00:57:54,679 --> 00:57:58,807
Look at this place. It's ridiculous!
It's so impressive.
743
00:58:00,185 --> 00:58:03,020
- Try again. Hey.
- Hi.
744
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,981
Can we close your blinds and... What?
745
00:58:06,065 --> 00:58:09,318
- Remember that guy I told you about?
- The guy...
746
00:58:09,402 --> 00:58:13,614
Mr. 23rd Floor? Check it out.
There, with the huge plant.
747
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,325
- Nothing interesting will be going on...
- Trust me.
748
00:58:19,245 --> 00:58:22,247
- Holy Majoly!
- Told you.
749
00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:28,378
Does he have music on in there?
He's, like, porn-slapping her.
750
00:58:28,796 --> 00:58:34,343
- Okay, we should go now.
- He has healthy self-confidence.
751
00:58:34,594 --> 00:58:38,305
- Ready? Let's go.
- Hang on, I'm learning something here.
752
00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:41,600
- We'll be late.
- You'll benefit from this.
753
00:58:43,019 --> 00:58:45,229
I can't Wednesday night,
I've a class.
754
00:58:45,271 --> 00:58:46,813
What class?
755
00:58:46,898 --> 00:58:50,359
I try new things.
I'm embarrassed talking about it.
756
00:58:50,443 --> 00:58:53,654
Don't be embarrassed.
Many people take aikido.
757
00:58:53,738 --> 00:58:55,781
- Nope.
- Line-dancing.
758
00:58:55,823 --> 00:58:59,910
- Not even close.
- What's the big deal, why can't I know?
759
00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:02,037
- Feng shui?
- No!
760
00:59:02,413 --> 00:59:05,999
Don't be embarrassed if it is.
Don't tell me, I don't need to know.
761
00:59:06,084 --> 00:59:09,545
I like the "mysterioso" quality.
It's very sexy.
762
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:13,006
- That's good. All right. I gotta pee.
- Hold on, I want to tell you something.
763
00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:18,971
Hold that thought.
764
00:59:25,728 --> 00:59:31,108
- Look who's here!
- Hey! Hey!
765
00:59:31,150 --> 00:59:36,238
Holy... How you doing?
Larry, Ellen, what are you doing here?
766
00:59:36,489 --> 00:59:40,409
We're buying a turkey!
No, we're seeing a movie.
767
00:59:40,493 --> 00:59:42,786
Are you alone?
768
00:59:43,162 --> 00:59:46,206
No. I mean, I'm with an old friend.
769
00:59:46,374 --> 00:59:50,919
Why, when Emma Gerber
wants you to take her daughter out?
770
00:59:51,004 --> 00:59:53,672
You should call,
the family's very wealthy.
771
00:59:53,715 --> 00:59:57,009
- Though she's no Rachel Rose.
- They can make donations.
772
00:59:57,093 --> 01:00:01,555
I've got to call her, but right now
I'm taking a break from dating.
773
01:00:01,639 --> 01:00:04,725
Look who it is!
774
01:00:04,809 --> 01:00:07,936
- We were talking about Rachel.
- Naturally.
775
01:00:08,021 --> 01:00:10,355
- Did you come together?
- No...
776
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:15,068
- This is why I love New York.
- It's true.
777
01:00:15,153 --> 01:00:18,780
These are my movie girls,
this is Roz and Chaya Lentz.
778
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:22,534
- We're seeing the Garcia picture.
- So are we!
779
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:26,872
My daughter's been back a week.
She said she called you a few times.
780
01:00:27,540 --> 01:00:29,583
She's disappointed
not to have seen you.
781
01:00:30,835 --> 01:00:33,712
- How you doing? Perfect.
- This is your friend?
782
01:00:33,755 --> 01:00:38,425
This is my buddy, Anna.
These are people...
783
01:00:38,509 --> 01:00:41,803
This is Larry Friedman,
president of the synagogue.
784
01:00:42,013 --> 01:00:44,222
I've heard so much about you.
785
01:00:45,224 --> 01:00:48,352
- Nice to meet you.
- And Bonnie Rose, and the Luntzes...
786
01:00:48,394 --> 01:00:49,895
- Lentzes!
- Lentzes.
787
01:00:49,979 --> 01:00:53,940
- They're from the congregation.
- I didn't get your last name.
788
01:00:54,025 --> 01:00:55,942
- Reilly.
- Reilly?
789
01:00:56,027 --> 01:01:01,073
We, Anna and I and Father Brian,
as children, used to play.
790
01:01:01,157 --> 01:01:02,574
What are you seeing?
791
01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:05,494
- Andy Garcia...
- The IMAX... He's in that, right?
792
01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:10,082
- I don't think so. We should go.
- I thought he was in that.
793
01:01:12,585 --> 01:01:14,419
Where are the paper towels?
794
01:01:16,964 --> 01:01:18,924
There are no paper towels.
795
01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:23,845
I'm in a crisis here! I need help!
796
01:01:23,930 --> 01:01:27,391
I need someone who,
when there are no paper towels,
797
01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:30,602
they go to a goddamn store
and buy some paper towels!
798
01:01:31,729 --> 01:01:35,524
How many jobs do you hope to pull
with no paper towels?
799
01:01:35,733 --> 01:01:37,109
- You okay?
- I'm cool.
800
01:01:37,568 --> 01:01:40,612
I need someone with
a little common sense around here.
801
01:01:45,451 --> 01:01:47,285
Why not get somebody else?
802
01:01:48,287 --> 01:01:51,957
- Okay, what?
- If we were going out, I'd be pissed off!
803
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:56,795
That was a scary situation for me,
and you made it worse!
804
01:01:56,838 --> 01:01:59,548
That is no excuse for what just went on!
805
01:01:59,632 --> 01:02:03,093
I'm sorry, too bad,
you have to deal with it.
806
01:02:03,136 --> 01:02:05,512
- Then I'd say...
- What would you say?
807
01:02:05,596 --> 01:02:09,683
Come on, bring it, bring the pain!
Say it, say it all.
808
01:02:12,478 --> 01:02:14,646
It's a good thing
we're not going out, then.
809
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:16,314
- Thank God.
- Thank God.
810
01:02:17,191 --> 01:02:20,652
- I wasn't really mad, were you?
- No, but you'll still get a spanking.
811
01:02:45,344 --> 01:02:48,263
- You are in such good shape.
- Are you all right?
812
01:02:50,683 --> 01:02:54,853
No, you gotta stretch.
You gotta stretch, or you'll tighten up.
813
01:02:55,605 --> 01:02:59,900
- Come on. Does that hurt?
- No, it feels good.
814
01:03:02,528 --> 01:03:04,112
Harder.
815
01:03:05,281 --> 01:03:06,406
Harder!
816
01:03:08,868 --> 01:03:12,954
- Okay, that's enough.
- You're such a wimp.
817
01:03:50,493 --> 01:03:53,036
Only three people
have this number,
818
01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:55,330
so if you're not one of them,
leave me alone.
819
01:03:56,999 --> 01:03:58,875
Hey, it's me. Are you there?
820
01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:02,754
Hello? Pick up the phone!
821
01:04:04,966 --> 01:04:10,011
Probably still at work. It's not that
important. Just thinking about you.
822
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:14,182
Maybe we can do dinner this week,
just you and me.
823
01:04:14,934 --> 01:04:17,561
This is Brian, by the way.
824
01:04:18,187 --> 01:04:22,190
You know where to find me.
Call me, okay? Bye.
825
01:04:27,405 --> 01:04:30,156
- Gotta go now.
- Give me 20 minutes.
826
01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:34,077
- Twenty minutes? I'm late.
- Okay, 15 minutes.
827
01:04:34,787 --> 01:04:39,082
- Fourteen and a half minutes. Please.
- I have to go back to the mines.
828
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,960
- We all have to.
- Don't you have work?
829
01:04:42,044 --> 01:04:45,797
I do. We're doing a hostile takeover
of another congregation.
830
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:48,466
- Okay. You do that.
- Okay.
831
01:04:48,509 --> 01:04:51,094
- I'm officially going now.
- Okay.
832
01:04:51,137 --> 01:04:53,972
Toll booth. Ding dong.
833
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:56,433
- Time to pay the toll.
- Okay.
834
01:05:00,730 --> 01:05:02,772
There. I paid.
835
01:05:03,274 --> 01:05:05,066
God was showing off
when He made you.
836
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,159
Okay, go.
837
01:05:15,745 --> 01:05:19,205
You'll be back. They all come back.
838
01:05:50,488 --> 01:05:52,864
Yes, they all come back...
839
01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:54,616
Sooner or later, they all...
840
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:57,410
Hey.
841
01:05:59,497 --> 01:06:02,290
- Hi, how are you?
- Good, how are you doing?
842
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,668
What's up, my man?
843
01:06:05,044 --> 01:06:08,088
- Why are you here?
- I want to get the karaoke machine.
844
01:06:08,172 --> 01:06:11,216
- Am I interrupting?
- Yeah, I got a blonde in the back.
845
01:06:12,134 --> 01:06:13,468
- Let's go.
- Now?
846
01:06:13,552 --> 01:06:16,221
- Yes.
- Okay. Come in for a second.
847
01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:20,225
- No, the place closes in 20 minutes.
- Come in for one second.
848
01:06:20,267 --> 01:06:24,771
Hey, ADD boy, right here.
If you want to get it, let's get it.
849
01:06:24,855 --> 01:06:26,898
But be with me when we get it.
850
01:06:26,941 --> 01:06:30,193
- Stay focused, okay?
- I'm with you. Okay.
851
01:06:36,075 --> 01:06:39,077
Test, test. Sibilance...
852
01:06:39,161 --> 01:06:44,040
I'm the king of rock.
Ain't none higher. This doesn't work.
853
01:06:44,875 --> 01:06:46,918
The guy's in the back, I can't find him.
854
01:06:46,961 --> 01:06:51,047
The contractor wants to come
on Tuesday. Can you do that?
855
01:06:51,757 --> 01:06:54,759
- Tuesday...
- We have to punch up or punch out...
856
01:06:55,344 --> 01:07:00,598
- I didn't understand, I just said okay.
- Tuesday, I'm with the Schwartzes.
857
01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:04,541
What about Thursday night?
I think they can do Thursday night.
858
01:07:06,814 --> 01:07:09,107
I can't do that, I got a thing.
859
01:07:09,191 --> 01:07:12,861
Can you cancel? We're behind
schedule, they're getting irritable.
860
01:07:12,945 --> 01:07:18,491
It's just that Anna wants me
to take her to this office party...
861
01:07:18,576 --> 01:07:22,996
- I don't know what it is.
- Really? Is it a big thing?
862
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:26,791
No, it's just that
she needs someone to go with.
863
01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:30,462
- No, she didn't mention it to me.
- No, it's not a... Whatever.
864
01:07:31,088 --> 01:07:33,256
He's a friend
865
01:07:33,632 --> 01:07:36,718
and he's always
been a good friend of mine
866
01:07:38,137 --> 01:07:41,473
But lately something's changed
that ain't hard to define
867
01:07:41,515 --> 01:07:45,101
It's just he's got himself a girl
and I want to make her mine
868
01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:48,772
And she's watching him
with those eyes
869
01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:52,776
And she's loving him with her body
and of course I just know it
870
01:07:52,818 --> 01:07:55,570
You know that I was Jessie's girl...
871
01:07:57,907 --> 01:08:00,366
How you guys doing? I'm Don.
872
01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:04,537
- Don. Rhyme with flan.
- Hi, Don.
873
01:08:04,622 --> 01:08:08,374
- You have any question?
- Yes. Indeed, Don, we do.
874
01:08:09,126 --> 01:08:12,837
- Is this a good machine?
- Yes, if you're a cheap bastard!
875
01:08:13,923 --> 01:08:16,341
Just doing comedy with you.
876
01:08:17,593 --> 01:08:21,930
That one is okay, but if you
really serious about karaoke...
877
01:08:22,014 --> 01:08:24,933
- We are.
- Then there only one model for you.
878
01:08:25,351 --> 01:08:27,602
The Audio 2000.
879
01:08:27,812 --> 01:08:33,650
This baby got the 16-bit dual
DA converter, three-beam tracking.
880
01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:38,988
Digital key controller, so you can
change the pitch if your voice sucks.
881
01:08:39,073 --> 01:08:40,740
I don't need that.
882
01:08:42,409 --> 01:08:44,410
That's nice. How much?
883
01:08:44,495 --> 01:08:48,289
- Price is not important.
- No, price is very important.
884
01:08:48,374 --> 01:08:52,293
Okay, you got me, take me away!
It's a little bit expensive.
885
01:08:52,378 --> 01:08:54,921
But let me tell you, it's worth it.
886
01:08:55,297 --> 01:08:57,715
When you sing to your girlfriend,
887
01:08:58,592 --> 01:09:02,971
and her heart... Boom!
Fall down on the floor,
888
01:09:03,055 --> 01:09:05,140
then you say, "Thank you, Don!"
889
01:09:05,224 --> 01:09:08,560
Okay. How much does it cost exactly?
890
01:09:14,900 --> 01:09:17,944
All right, here's the real deal, okay?
891
01:09:18,571 --> 01:09:21,781
I don't usually do this,
but you look like cool guys,
892
01:09:21,866 --> 01:09:26,077
and I got a piece of ass last night
so I'm feeling generous.
893
01:09:27,663 --> 01:09:29,706
I'll let you have it for 1, 300.
894
01:09:29,748 --> 01:09:31,541
- 1, 300?
- Final offer.
895
01:09:33,043 --> 01:09:37,088
- Excuse me, I feel a little warm.
- My friend, he gets a little warm.
896
01:09:38,507 --> 01:09:42,260
Oh, man! What is that?
897
01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:45,930
- Get out of here! Is that real?
- Oh, yeah.
898
01:09:50,936 --> 01:09:52,312
They'll love you.
899
01:09:52,396 --> 01:09:55,940
They're fascinated by those who
live on less than $100,000 a year.
900
01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:58,902
All right, I feel ready.
901
01:09:59,028 --> 01:10:01,696
Give me some business terms
so I sound right.
902
01:10:01,780 --> 01:10:03,573
- A BSC deal.
- What's that?
903
01:10:03,616 --> 01:10:07,368
Booze, schmooze and cruise, dude.
How do I look?
904
01:10:07,453 --> 01:10:09,787
- Incredible.
- How are my teeth?
905
01:10:09,872 --> 01:10:13,791
- Let me see... No, you're perfect.
- Thank you.
906
01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:16,920
- Ready, Rabbi?
- No, but let's do it, anyway.
907
01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:36,481
Anna, have a shot.
Just got to borrow her for one second.
908
01:10:37,483 --> 01:10:40,652
You think you can talk?
This woman can talk.
909
01:10:40,736 --> 01:10:42,862
- Oh, Len.
- You know you can.
910
01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:48,701
Thank you.
911
01:10:49,995 --> 01:10:52,914
That's his problem, he can't drive.
912
01:10:52,998 --> 01:10:57,126
If the guy just went down the middle,
like Sprewell. Same thing.
913
01:10:57,670 --> 01:11:03,258
Excuse me, Rabbi... We need help
with a question of Talmudic precedent.
914
01:11:03,592 --> 01:11:04,968
Excuse me.
915
01:11:06,136 --> 01:11:09,472
Very good! "Talmudic."
Where did you learn that?
916
01:11:10,724 --> 01:11:12,558
Look at the city!
917
01:11:20,776 --> 01:11:23,861
- You think Len was a Ritalin child?
- Still is.
918
01:11:24,029 --> 01:11:27,699
- They love you.
- Only 'cause I bust their balls.
919
01:11:27,741 --> 01:11:33,329
No, they really respect you.
You should be running that company.
920
01:11:33,414 --> 01:11:36,374
- Actually, they want me to.
- What do you mean?
921
01:11:37,084 --> 01:11:40,878
They asked me to run the high-tech
group in San Francisco.
922
01:11:41,213 --> 01:11:44,424
Anna! Are you serious? That's...
923
01:11:44,508 --> 01:11:47,719
I knew it was coming.
Who else was there?
924
01:11:47,761 --> 01:11:49,887
Listen to you! That's incredible!
925
01:11:49,972 --> 01:11:53,558
If you think I had no life before...
I'll disappear.
926
01:11:53,642 --> 01:11:57,228
But this is everything
you've worked for, right?
927
01:11:57,313 --> 01:12:00,398
I'm so proud of you,
I'm so happy for you.
928
01:12:00,482 --> 01:12:04,193
Well, here's the thing, Jake.
929
01:12:04,236 --> 01:12:06,738
I've been thinking about it, and...
930
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:11,743
I'm excited, but not as excited
as I am about you and me.
931
01:12:12,077 --> 01:12:15,204
And so I don't think I wanna go,
932
01:12:15,247 --> 01:12:19,208
because I wanna be near you,
so I thought I'd transfer and stay here.
933
01:12:21,253 --> 01:12:22,920
What do you think?
934
01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:31,095
That's... unexpected.
935
01:12:31,764 --> 01:12:33,264
- It is?
- Yeah.
936
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:37,268
Are you sure that's the best thing?
937
01:12:37,936 --> 01:12:39,562
For you?
938
01:12:40,856 --> 01:12:43,775
I don't know. I thought you'd be excited.
939
01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:46,778
No... No, I am. I'm just...
940
01:12:46,987 --> 01:12:49,655
I'm sorry, I thought...
Am I off-base here?
941
01:12:49,740 --> 01:12:55,870
No, you're not. It was just an impulse.
It's totally fine. Really.
942
01:12:55,954 --> 01:13:00,208
- I thought that we...
- I think that tequila made me giddy.
943
01:13:00,292 --> 01:13:02,210
Shall we go somewhere
and talk about this?
944
01:13:02,336 --> 01:13:04,170
No, no, no.
945
01:13:04,254 --> 01:13:10,218
No, it's so fine. I'm having
a great time. Let's have fun, okay?
946
01:13:11,887 --> 01:13:14,138
No, I don't...
947
01:13:15,557 --> 01:13:17,433
Let's go dance!
948
01:13:20,104 --> 01:13:23,606
I never had no problems, yeah
949
01:13:24,775 --> 01:13:27,735
Burning down the one-night stands
950
01:13:28,529 --> 01:13:31,364
And everything around me...
951
01:14:17,578 --> 01:14:20,538
- Amen.
- Amen.
952
01:14:21,540 --> 01:14:23,082
- Oh, my!
- Psycho, psycho!
953
01:14:26,211 --> 01:14:28,337
I can't laugh, I'm so full.
954
01:14:28,630 --> 01:14:31,841
How'd you stay so skinny
with cooking like this?
955
01:14:31,884 --> 01:14:36,304
He was blessed with my genes.
Ethan, that's another story.
956
01:14:36,388 --> 01:14:38,806
When he was a kid, he was a little chub!
957
01:14:39,683 --> 01:14:42,935
He missed school once
because he couldn't fit his pants.
958
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:46,397
- You're joking.
- It's true, he had to call in fat.
959
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:50,985
Mom, he never called in fat, come on.
960
01:14:51,236 --> 01:14:54,071
Give the guy a break, he looks great.
961
01:14:54,156 --> 01:15:00,203
He's working out with a trainer,
he's on a regimen, he looks trim.
962
01:15:00,245 --> 01:15:02,747
He looks trim because she can't cook.
963
01:15:02,789 --> 01:15:06,125
She's a good cook.
You'd know if you tried her food.
964
01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:08,920
I don't wanna talk about this anymore.
Get it?
965
01:15:09,713 --> 01:15:11,339
I'm sorry. Sorry.
966
01:15:12,674 --> 01:15:14,759
What were we talking about?
967
01:15:14,885 --> 01:15:18,179
The meal was so good. Thank you.
968
01:15:18,263 --> 01:15:22,225
- As always.
- Someone has to feed the skinny ones.
969
01:15:23,060 --> 01:15:25,978
Now you guys get the dishes,
and the ladies will talk.
970
01:15:28,440 --> 01:15:30,775
Jake, put on some water for tea.
971
01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:55,841
It's like a fairy tale.
Those flowers framing you.
972
01:15:56,468 --> 01:15:59,845
That's called a huppah.
973
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:07,603
Oh, my God.
You look so beautiful together!
974
01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:11,482
Please. We were so young.
We were kids.
975
01:16:12,317 --> 01:16:15,528
I give Jake grief,
but you're all doing it the right way.
976
01:16:15,612 --> 01:16:20,324
It takes at least ten years to know
yourself well and stop being an idiot.
977
01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:24,120
It's hard enough without
binding yourself to another idiot.
978
01:16:25,289 --> 01:16:30,251
What's scary is spending ten years
going after important things,
979
01:16:30,335 --> 01:16:35,006
you get those things, then suspect
you went after the wrong things,
980
01:16:35,048 --> 01:16:39,885
and, in regard to the important things,
you're still an idiot.
981
01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:44,015
Can I ask you a question?
982
01:16:46,310 --> 01:16:48,269
Is my son a good kisser?
983
01:16:50,230 --> 01:16:53,649
- You're in a good mood.
- I'm usually in a good mood.
984
01:16:54,735 --> 01:16:57,778
But you're in a particularly
good mood right now.
985
01:16:57,863 --> 01:17:02,700
Okay. Yes, I am.
I'm in a very good mood.
986
01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:06,078
Okay. Do you want to share anything?
987
01:17:10,834 --> 01:17:15,546
- Not quite yet. Maybe soon.
- Really? Soon?
988
01:17:15,589 --> 01:17:16,881
Okay.
989
01:17:16,923 --> 01:17:18,883
- Well, you let me know.
- Okay, I will.
990
01:17:18,925 --> 01:17:20,885
I'll be looking out for that.
991
01:17:21,136 --> 01:17:22,720
That's what she said...
992
01:17:25,724 --> 01:17:28,309
- I'm so sorry.
- Jesus, what happened?
993
01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:34,231
- Nothing.
- Girl talk. We're fine.
994
01:17:38,153 --> 01:17:41,614
I didn't go into explicit detail.
995
01:17:41,698 --> 01:17:44,241
I can't believe you did that.
It's between us!
996
01:17:44,284 --> 01:17:46,744
Jake, she figured it out on her own.
997
01:17:46,787 --> 01:17:50,331
- Did you try to deny it?
- Come on, Jake, she knew!
998
01:17:51,583 --> 01:17:53,209
No wonder she was crying!
999
01:17:53,251 --> 01:17:57,755
I was crying, too, all right?
We had a nice talk about it.
1000
01:17:57,881 --> 01:18:00,007
She was upset, but not angry.
1001
01:18:00,092 --> 01:18:03,010
- She put on that face.
- She didn't.
1002
01:18:03,095 --> 01:18:05,721
I know, okay? All right? I mean...
1003
01:18:06,223 --> 01:18:08,974
You have no idea of the nightmare
I'm in for now.
1004
01:18:09,059 --> 01:18:12,603
This is not a nightmare, okay? Stop it.
1005
01:18:13,105 --> 01:18:15,398
Hey, look at me.
1006
01:18:16,358 --> 01:18:17,733
Look at me.
1007
01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:25,032
- I am in love with you, Jake.
- I love you, too.
1008
01:18:25,742 --> 01:18:31,122
No. You are in love with me,
you're just scared of what it involves.
1009
01:18:31,164 --> 01:18:35,292
- Yes, I am.
- Me, too, but I'm dealing with it.
1010
01:18:35,335 --> 01:18:39,797
Because I'm overwhelmed by feelings
for you and I want to work it out.
1011
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:42,800
- Great, how do I work it out?
- Okay.
1012
01:18:42,843 --> 01:18:47,888
Let's take it from the top. It's not about
your mother, brother, or synagogue.
1013
01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:50,474
Just you. What do you need
to work it out?
1014
01:18:50,559 --> 01:18:54,854
Those things are me, understand?
I can't separate them out.
1015
01:18:54,980 --> 01:19:00,151
It's hard to accept, but the fact
you're not Jewish is a problem for me.
1016
01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:01,986
I don't think so.
1017
01:19:02,863 --> 01:19:07,324
Okay, all I'm saying is that
you should be honest with yourself.
1018
01:19:07,409 --> 01:19:11,996
I think if it was just up to you,
you'd stick with this relationship,
1019
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:16,584
but it's a problem because you think
other people can't deal with it.
1020
01:19:16,668 --> 01:19:20,504
- No, they can't.
- Give them credit, it's the 21 st century.
1021
01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:25,593
What does the 21 st century have to
do with anything? This is you and me!
1022
01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:30,514
- I thought we were just having fun.
- That's my point, I'm having fun.
1023
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:34,059
I'm having fun, too. This is a lot of fun!
1024
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:37,563
Exactly. So, why throw it away?
1025
01:19:42,110 --> 01:19:48,073
Can't you see that you're asking me
to risk losing everything I value,
1026
01:19:48,158 --> 01:19:50,034
just to see if we work?
1027
01:19:52,621 --> 01:19:54,663
I mean, I love you, but...
1028
01:19:55,749 --> 01:19:59,710
We're different in so many ways
unrelated to you not being Jewish.
1029
01:20:00,504 --> 01:20:02,046
What are you saying?
1030
01:20:02,088 --> 01:20:05,633
We have totally different priorities.
Look at your life.
1031
01:20:06,343 --> 01:20:09,423
I don't think there's room in your life
for what I'm spiritually committed to.
1032
01:20:11,890 --> 01:20:13,557
That is so unfair.
1033
01:20:16,895 --> 01:20:20,523
Your faith is a huge part
of what I love about you.
1034
01:20:20,941 --> 01:20:26,904
But you must be patient. It doesn't
come as easily for others as for you.
1035
01:20:27,572 --> 01:20:31,534
You will never find the kind
of relationship I know you want,
1036
01:20:31,576 --> 01:20:35,746
and you will never be the kind
of spiritual leader you could be
1037
01:20:35,789 --> 01:20:38,415
until you learn to put faith
in other people.
1038
01:20:40,961 --> 01:20:44,088
I'm not saying we should marry,
all I'm saying
1039
01:20:44,172 --> 01:20:48,342
is that I'm in love with you,
and I want to give it a real shot.
1040
01:20:50,804 --> 01:20:52,805
I don't know what to say.
1041
01:20:53,014 --> 01:20:56,851
How about, "I've always wanted
someone like you, and I won't lose you."
1042
01:21:04,568 --> 01:21:05,943
I'm sorry...
1043
01:21:08,113 --> 01:21:11,740
You will be when you realize I've gone
and I'm not coming back.
1044
01:21:16,413 --> 01:21:18,914
This is my apartment. You get out.
1045
01:21:26,298 --> 01:21:30,217
- It's for you. Who calls at this hour?
- I'm sorry.
1046
01:21:30,302 --> 01:21:32,761
I was dreaming
about my mother's sausages.
1047
01:21:34,139 --> 01:21:36,432
- Hello?
- Brian?
1048
01:21:36,933 --> 01:21:38,392
What's wrong?
1049
01:21:39,144 --> 01:21:42,479
I need to talk to you.
Can you come over? Please?
1050
01:21:43,607 --> 01:21:48,152
Don't move. I'll be right over.
No, I'll be right there. Okay.
1051
01:22:07,339 --> 01:22:09,673
- Are you okay?
- Terrific.
1052
01:22:10,675 --> 01:22:14,303
- I came running right over.
- Sorry, I didn't mean to call so late.
1053
01:22:14,346 --> 01:22:17,765
No, it's fine, don't worry. What's wrong?
1054
01:22:17,849 --> 01:22:19,433
- Everything.
- What?
1055
01:22:19,517 --> 01:22:22,227
- Me!
- You? You're perfect.
1056
01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:26,857
- I am a loser!
- You're not, what are you saying?
1057
01:22:26,942 --> 01:22:29,610
- I'm a workaholic.
- No, you're not.
1058
01:22:31,404 --> 01:22:36,158
Okay, yes, you are. But you're our
workaholic, and we're proud of you.
1059
01:22:37,577 --> 01:22:39,328
- Brian...
- What?
1060
01:22:39,663 --> 01:22:44,041
You're my friend, and if I ask you
something, you'll answer honestly?
1061
01:22:44,459 --> 01:22:46,418
Of course, you know I will.
1062
01:22:47,420 --> 01:22:50,881
When you look at me,
when you look at my life,
1063
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:55,302
do you think, "There's a girl
whose values are all out of whack?"
1064
01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:58,764
No, and certainly not in that voice.
1065
01:22:58,890 --> 01:23:00,766
- Have I got no spirit?
- What?
1066
01:23:00,850 --> 01:23:03,018
I know I'm fun to hang out with,
1067
01:23:03,061 --> 01:23:06,605
but does my life seem shallow to you?
1068
01:23:07,565 --> 01:23:12,069
- Am I spiritually empty?
- No, are you crazy?
1069
01:23:12,570 --> 01:23:17,408
You've got more spirit in you
than most guys in robes out there.
1070
01:23:18,576 --> 01:23:20,828
You're a natural, you radiate.
1071
01:23:21,413 --> 01:23:24,915
Trust me. What's going on here?
What's this about?
1072
01:23:27,085 --> 01:23:29,461
I don't even know where to begin, Brian.
1073
01:23:30,088 --> 01:23:33,757
You're my best friend,
and I've been keeping stuff from you.
1074
01:23:34,551 --> 01:23:36,343
All these feelings...
1075
01:23:37,095 --> 01:23:41,557
Now something has happened,
and I can't keep it from you anymore.
1076
01:23:41,599 --> 01:23:43,934
- It's okay.
- It's not okay.
1077
01:23:43,977 --> 01:23:47,521
There are things I have to say,
and I feel bad.
1078
01:23:47,605 --> 01:23:53,110
- I have things to say, too.
- Mine are big and bad. I need to...
1079
01:23:53,194 --> 01:23:55,279
No, please, just listen...
1080
01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:03,162
- I love you, too.
- What?
1081
01:24:05,123 --> 01:24:09,293
I love you, that's what you want to say,
but you're scared, so I'll say it first.
1082
01:24:13,214 --> 01:24:16,717
- Brian...
- It's okay, trust me. Trust me.
1083
01:24:17,135 --> 01:24:20,804
We can't fight it,
it's too strong. It's okay.
1084
01:24:21,306 --> 01:24:23,640
No, Brian, I can't!
1085
01:24:27,020 --> 01:24:28,979
It's the vows, isn't it?
1086
01:24:30,356 --> 01:24:33,817
It's the vows, they make
you feel guilty. I can't believe it.
1087
01:24:34,235 --> 01:24:37,654
I shouldn't have had
that sex talk with you, I knew it.
1088
01:24:37,739 --> 01:24:41,825
I knew it. In my head,
a voice said, "Don't go here..."
1089
01:24:41,910 --> 01:24:43,577
You don't understand.
1090
01:24:43,661 --> 01:24:47,790
Right now, for the first time ever,
I feel jealous of Jake.
1091
01:24:47,832 --> 01:24:52,461
I envy him. This would be so easy
if I was him. I picked the wrong gig.
1092
01:24:52,504 --> 01:24:54,838
- Let me talk to you!
- Admit it!
1093
01:24:54,964 --> 01:24:58,675
If I was a rabbi,
you could love me without guilt.
1094
01:24:58,843 --> 01:25:01,011
- Listen to me!
- What?
1095
01:25:02,722 --> 01:25:05,182
I am in love with a rabbi.
1096
01:25:06,392 --> 01:25:09,728
- Sorry?
- I'm in love with Jake.
1097
01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:12,022
Yeah.
1098
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,986
That's what I was trying to tell you.
1099
01:25:20,406 --> 01:25:25,828
I'm stunned.
I'm stunned, I'm paralyzed... What?
1100
01:25:30,041 --> 01:25:32,626
Excuse me, my mouth just went all dry.
1101
01:25:33,628 --> 01:25:37,798
I can't believe this.
When did this happen?
1102
01:25:37,882 --> 01:25:40,634
- We've been together since July.
- July?
1103
01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:44,555
July?
1104
01:25:44,639 --> 01:25:49,768
We should have told you,
but we weren't sure how you'd react.
1105
01:25:49,853 --> 01:25:54,857
I'm glad you saved it, because
it's definitely less weird for me now.
1106
01:25:54,899 --> 01:25:58,026
Brian...
1107
01:25:58,069 --> 01:26:00,445
Let's talk about this. You don't drink.
1108
01:26:00,905 --> 01:26:04,491
In light of recent revelations,
no one is in a position
1109
01:26:04,576 --> 01:26:08,620
to say what the other one does
or does not do with much authority.
1110
01:26:09,497 --> 01:26:11,707
Oh, God!
1111
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,751
You must think I'm such an idiot.
1112
01:26:14,836 --> 01:26:18,755
- No, Brian.
- No, I think I'm an idiot.
1113
01:26:18,798 --> 01:26:23,510
I mean, all these moments with you
I've been walking on a cloud,
1114
01:26:24,762 --> 01:26:27,890
it's just been the reflected glow
of you and Jake.
1115
01:26:27,932 --> 01:26:29,766
That's not true.
1116
01:26:30,435 --> 01:26:32,186
I'm so embarrassed.
1117
01:26:33,897 --> 01:26:38,859
God, talk about a bad case
of the third wheel!
1118
01:26:38,943 --> 01:26:44,031
- Brian!
- I feel like I'm on some bad TV show.
1119
01:26:44,282 --> 01:26:45,949
- Melrose Priest!
- No...
1120
01:26:46,868 --> 01:26:51,705
I don't get this. Why now?
Why tell me like this?
1121
01:26:51,915 --> 01:26:56,251
After months of lying, why call me
over tonight and cry to me?
1122
01:27:00,381 --> 01:27:02,716
He broke up with you, didn't he?
1123
01:27:06,012 --> 01:27:10,390
That moron broke up with you,
and you called your friend, the priest.
1124
01:27:10,475 --> 01:27:13,810
- I...
- It makes total sense, it's just...
1125
01:27:14,979 --> 01:27:17,731
Tonight, I really didn't want to be one.
1126
01:27:19,108 --> 01:27:20,817
Oh, Brian...
1127
01:28:32,890 --> 01:28:35,225
Yes, I heard about that.
1128
01:28:35,435 --> 01:28:38,061
My grandfather and father were mohels.
1129
01:28:38,187 --> 01:28:40,731
Excuse me, I'd like to make a toast...
1130
01:28:40,815 --> 01:28:42,607
Rabbi Jacob Schram!
1131
01:28:43,276 --> 01:28:45,027
Rabbi Jacob Schram!
1132
01:28:45,862 --> 01:28:47,821
Oh, Rabbi Jacob...
1133
01:28:47,989 --> 01:28:51,366
Oh... Hello!
1134
01:28:51,451 --> 01:28:55,203
- May I help you?
- Yes, I'm Father Brian Finn.
1135
01:28:55,246 --> 01:28:59,374
I'm looking for my old friend,
Rabbi Jacob Schram, and there he is.
1136
01:28:59,417 --> 01:29:03,462
- Brian, what's going on?
- Looking smart and breaking hearts.
1137
01:29:04,130 --> 01:29:06,131
- What are you doing?
- Don't smile at me.
1138
01:29:06,257 --> 01:29:09,343
- I'm on to you, and I'm in no mood...
- What's going on?
1139
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:12,346
- You're drunk.
- I'm not drunk.
1140
01:29:12,430 --> 01:29:16,308
I'm not drunk, I'm Irish.
This is milk to me.
1141
01:29:16,392 --> 01:29:18,143
What's going on?
1142
01:29:18,227 --> 01:29:22,647
- It's okay.
- It's not! My best friend lied to me!
1143
01:29:25,026 --> 01:29:28,362
- And he stole my girlfriend, on top of it.
- Come here.
1144
01:29:28,946 --> 01:29:32,240
- Did they change the rules?
- Take your hands off me!
1145
01:29:36,662 --> 01:29:38,914
Give me that! I can't believe you!
1146
01:29:38,956 --> 01:29:41,333
Don't lie here, this is the big room.
1147
01:29:41,417 --> 01:29:46,254
God doesn't look favorably on it.
He throws lightning bolts! At liars!
1148
01:29:46,297 --> 01:29:51,885
- How did you find out?
- How? How do you think?
1149
01:29:51,969 --> 01:29:54,971
- She told you.
- She was crying on my shoulder.
1150
01:29:55,056 --> 01:29:56,473
What did you expect?
1151
01:29:56,557 --> 01:30:00,936
Did you think she'd just take it
on the chin after how you treated her?
1152
01:30:00,978 --> 01:30:03,980
- Hey, wait a minute!
- Listen to me!
1153
01:30:04,482 --> 01:30:08,110
Anna is very special,
she's not like other girls.
1154
01:30:08,152 --> 01:30:11,238
You said some things
to her that I resent.
1155
01:30:11,322 --> 01:30:14,908
You can't just write her off
like one of your dates, I won't let you.
1156
01:30:14,992 --> 01:30:18,161
Brian, I'm in love with her! Okay?
1157
01:30:18,955 --> 01:30:22,624
I'm sorry you found out like this,
but the fact is,
1158
01:30:22,667 --> 01:30:25,168
that it's between me and her.
1159
01:30:25,211 --> 01:30:28,755
It was between you and her,
but now it's between you and me.
1160
01:30:28,923 --> 01:30:30,882
Why is it between you and me?
1161
01:30:30,967 --> 01:30:34,719
- Because I love her.
- I know, I love her, too.
1162
01:30:35,012 --> 01:30:38,056
No... I'm in love with her.
1163
01:30:39,642 --> 01:30:43,728
- What?
- It came as quite a shock to her, too.
1164
01:30:48,109 --> 01:30:51,945
- You're in love with her?
- No one seems to have noticed this...
1165
01:30:52,029 --> 01:30:53,321
It's very strange.
1166
01:30:54,449 --> 01:30:56,783
I mean, she's like your sister, Brian...
1167
01:30:57,702 --> 01:31:00,745
Yes, thank you for adding
new depths to my confusion.
1168
01:31:02,373 --> 01:31:08,128
Damn it, Jake. You have a whole city
full of women at your feet.
1169
01:31:08,212 --> 01:31:13,300
Why go for the first woman
I've ever had any romantic feeling for?
1170
01:31:13,384 --> 01:31:16,011
Wait! Listen to what you're saying.
1171
01:31:16,053 --> 01:31:19,431
You're saying I should have
sensed the possibility
1172
01:31:19,515 --> 01:31:22,934
that a Catholic priest had a crush
on my secret girlfriend!
1173
01:31:23,060 --> 01:31:26,229
So what? You know how much
I care about her.
1174
01:31:26,314 --> 01:31:29,149
You could have known
it would end this way.
1175
01:31:29,233 --> 01:31:31,067
I know? What does that mean?
1176
01:31:31,110 --> 01:31:34,779
Your casual relationships
with women never work,
1177
01:31:34,864 --> 01:31:40,452
because they always fall for you,
because you're smart, funny and cute.
1178
01:31:40,536 --> 01:31:44,915
- Don't put this all on me.
- You could've had a fling with anybody.
1179
01:31:44,999 --> 01:31:49,127
- Why'd you pull her into your bed?
- She pulled me into her bed!
1180
01:31:49,212 --> 01:31:50,754
I don't believe that.
1181
01:31:50,838 --> 01:31:53,673
It's the truth. She's a woman,
not the Virgin Mary!
1182
01:32:10,650 --> 01:32:12,651
Let me get this straight.
1183
01:32:13,236 --> 01:32:15,278
I'm talking to a priest
1184
01:32:16,781 --> 01:32:22,369
who went on a bender because
his best friend, a rabbi, stole his girl?
1185
01:32:23,162 --> 01:32:24,329
Right.
1186
01:32:25,498 --> 01:32:29,709
Thank you. I want to thank you
for telling me this story.
1187
01:32:30,795 --> 01:32:33,964
- Why?
- Because now I can retire.
1188
01:32:34,465 --> 01:32:37,968
You have to give me advice.
That's what this is about.
1189
01:32:38,010 --> 01:32:39,970
Oh, God, what do I know?
1190
01:32:40,721 --> 01:32:44,683
I'm a half Punjabi Sikh,
one quarter Tamil separatist,
1191
01:32:45,351 --> 01:32:48,645
my sister's married
a Jewish doctor from New Jersey,
1192
01:32:48,980 --> 01:32:52,816
and our grandmother was an Irish nun
who left me this bar,
1193
01:32:52,900 --> 01:32:54,985
which is a very long story.
1194
01:32:57,989 --> 01:33:01,157
You're a Sikh Catholic Muslim
with Jewish in-laws?
1195
01:33:01,242 --> 01:33:05,328
Yes. Yes, it gets very complicated.
1196
01:33:06,163 --> 01:33:10,667
- I'm reading Dianetics.
- I don't blame you.
1197
01:33:15,339 --> 01:33:17,507
Thank you for listening to me.
1198
01:33:17,592 --> 01:33:21,469
- I feel like I should ask for penance.
- I don't do penance.
1199
01:33:22,638 --> 01:33:24,014
I do shots.
1200
01:33:35,359 --> 01:33:37,402
I'll tell you what I know.
1201
01:33:38,195 --> 01:33:40,530
May those who love us, love us.
1202
01:33:41,240 --> 01:33:43,533
And those who don't love us,
1203
01:33:43,618 --> 01:33:45,827
may God turn their hearts.
1204
01:33:46,203 --> 01:33:50,582
If He cannot turn their hearts,
may He turn their ankles,
1205
01:33:51,584 --> 01:33:53,793
so that we may know them
by their limping.
1206
01:33:56,297 --> 01:33:57,964
- Slainte.
- Slainte.
1207
01:34:12,772 --> 01:34:19,402
I'll tell you why I don't want
to know where you are
1208
01:34:19,779 --> 01:34:25,408
I got a joke
I've been dying to tell you
1209
01:34:26,327 --> 01:34:32,999
A silent kid is looking down the barrel
1210
01:34:33,292 --> 01:34:39,339
To make the noise that I kept so quiet
1211
01:34:40,508 --> 01:34:44,386
Kept it from you, pitseleh
1212
01:34:53,646 --> 01:34:54,771
Anna?
1213
01:34:56,065 --> 01:34:57,148
Anna?
1214
01:34:57,942 --> 01:35:03,947
I'm not what's missing
from your life now
1215
01:35:04,365 --> 01:35:10,328
I could never be the puzzle pieces
1216
01:35:11,038 --> 01:35:17,961
They say that God makes problems
just to see what you can stand
1217
01:35:18,337 --> 01:35:24,134
Before you do as the devil pleases
1218
01:35:25,261 --> 01:35:28,346
Give up the thing you love
1219
01:35:30,057 --> 01:35:33,518
Hey, Brian. It's me again.
1220
01:35:33,936 --> 01:35:39,566
Please call me, okay, Finn?
Brian, call Anna. Please to call.
1221
01:35:39,650 --> 01:35:43,319
Seriously, I really want
to talk to you, okay? Bye.
1222
01:35:52,705 --> 01:35:57,500
I remember I fell in love
with this girl in Prague, in 1968.
1223
01:35:59,378 --> 01:36:02,005
She was beautiful, like Carole Lombard.
1224
01:36:02,089 --> 01:36:05,592
She grabbed me in the alley
behind my church,
1225
01:36:05,676 --> 01:36:08,011
she pressed me against the wall,
she kissed me.
1226
01:36:10,139 --> 01:36:12,515
I felt like Richard Chamberlain
in The Thorn Birds,
1227
01:36:13,267 --> 01:36:14,601
in the barn with Meggie.
1228
01:36:16,145 --> 01:36:18,855
I was so happy, I could die.
1229
01:36:20,900 --> 01:36:23,651
Did anything happen between you?
1230
01:36:23,944 --> 01:36:28,198
Not really. Flirtations, little moments.
1231
01:36:28,365 --> 01:36:32,744
Soon after, the Russians invaded
and I moved to the United States.
1232
01:36:38,709 --> 01:36:40,668
I'll tell you something.
1233
01:36:41,295 --> 01:36:45,548
If she had kissed me back,
I doubt I'd be sitting here right now.
1234
01:36:47,635 --> 01:36:49,385
I would have given it all up.
1235
01:36:51,597 --> 01:36:53,640
I mean, she didn't, but...
1236
01:36:54,475 --> 01:36:57,268
I keep thinking about
what you said in the seminary,
1237
01:36:57,353 --> 01:37:00,396
about how the life of a priest is hard,
1238
01:37:00,439 --> 01:37:05,568
and if you think you'd be happy
doing anything else, you should do it.
1239
01:37:08,197 --> 01:37:11,908
That was my recruitment pitch,
which is not bad when you're starting
1240
01:37:11,992 --> 01:37:14,953
because it makes you feel like a Marine.
1241
01:37:18,582 --> 01:37:24,963
The truth is, you can't tell yourself
there is only one thing you could be.
1242
01:37:25,047 --> 01:37:30,426
If you are a priest, or marry a woman,
it's the same challenge.
1243
01:37:32,054 --> 01:37:35,598
You cannot make a real commitment
1244
01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:39,102
unless you accept that it is a choice,
1245
01:37:40,229 --> 01:37:42,939
which you keep making
again and again.
1246
01:37:46,318 --> 01:37:52,240
I've been a priest over 40 years, and
I fell in love at least once a decade.
1247
01:37:54,535 --> 01:37:56,786
You won't tell me
what to do here, will you?
1248
01:37:57,872 --> 01:38:01,082
No. God will give you your answer.
1249
01:38:14,805 --> 01:38:17,307
- Hey.
- Hey.
1250
01:38:17,349 --> 01:38:19,017
How are you doing?
1251
01:38:22,605 --> 01:38:23,938
What's up?
1252
01:38:25,316 --> 01:38:30,737
- You're probably still mad at me...
- Probably? No, I'm definitely still mad.
1253
01:38:31,280 --> 01:38:34,991
Did you think you'd stroll over
and find me in a good mood?
1254
01:38:35,075 --> 01:38:37,577
No, I knew you'd still be mad at me.
1255
01:38:37,661 --> 01:38:41,331
What do you expect?
You should have just told me.
1256
01:38:41,832 --> 01:38:45,835
I'd have been jealous
and said it would muck things up,
1257
01:38:45,878 --> 01:38:48,004
but at least we'd still be friends.
1258
01:38:48,714 --> 01:38:51,341
We're still friends, I hope!
1259
01:38:51,425 --> 01:38:55,845
Friends don't lie to each other
and set each other up for humiliation.
1260
01:38:55,888 --> 01:39:00,725
That's why I'm here, I wanted
to apologize, if you'd let me talk!
1261
01:39:00,809 --> 01:39:04,354
I want to talk,
I've got things I want to vent.
1262
01:39:04,438 --> 01:39:07,357
Talk, vent, come on! Go ahead, vent!
1263
01:39:09,860 --> 01:39:11,069
Okay...
1264
01:39:14,031 --> 01:39:18,534
Now I lost my momentum.
Go ahead, what do you want to say?
1265
01:39:20,913 --> 01:39:24,540
I wanted to say that I handled
things badly, and I'm sorry.
1266
01:39:24,917 --> 01:39:27,126
You're my best friend.
Please forgive me.
1267
01:39:30,756 --> 01:39:33,716
- That was very simple and direct.
- Thank you.
1268
01:39:35,302 --> 01:39:39,681
You're lucky I am a priest.
Forgiveness comes with the job.
1269
01:39:40,140 --> 01:39:41,933
You're a good priest.
1270
01:39:47,398 --> 01:39:49,399
I got something for you.
1271
01:39:49,817 --> 01:39:54,195
I almost didn't because I was
so mad at you, but this was too good.
1272
01:39:55,531 --> 01:39:58,658
That's the Rabbi
Schlomo Schneerson card.
1273
01:39:58,784 --> 01:40:02,578
- It's the last of the series!
- You always talk about it.
1274
01:40:02,663 --> 01:40:06,749
- It's in such good condition.
- It's mint. I had to get it.
1275
01:40:08,002 --> 01:40:09,585
Brian!
1276
01:40:13,215 --> 01:40:14,549
Thank you.
1277
01:40:15,426 --> 01:40:16,926
You're welcome.
1278
01:40:21,098 --> 01:40:24,267
As pissed off as I was, the weird thing is
1279
01:40:24,309 --> 01:40:28,771
I'm very sorry I didn't get
to see you two together.
1280
01:40:28,856 --> 01:40:32,108
That would have made me happy,
in a weird way.
1281
01:40:32,234 --> 01:40:35,445
- Have you talked to her?
- No.
1282
01:40:35,529 --> 01:40:38,990
Things are really strange
between us now.
1283
01:40:40,909 --> 01:40:43,911
Are you guys working this out?
1284
01:40:43,954 --> 01:40:45,621
No, no.
1285
01:40:46,874 --> 01:40:50,418
But that's offset by the fact
that I'm about to lose my job.
1286
01:40:50,586 --> 01:40:52,170
Are you serious?
1287
01:40:53,297 --> 01:40:55,798
What a mess. I'm sorry.
1288
01:40:58,469 --> 01:41:01,554
I was starting to think
I had a few things figured out.
1289
01:41:01,638 --> 01:41:03,806
Yeah. Me, too.
1290
01:41:04,391 --> 01:41:05,892
What happened?
1291
01:41:14,735 --> 01:41:15,777
Hi.
1292
01:41:16,987 --> 01:41:20,323
I don't think I'm the person
to offer objective advice
1293
01:41:20,365 --> 01:41:22,617
on this particular confession.
1294
01:41:23,702 --> 01:41:24,869
Brian!
1295
01:41:25,996 --> 01:41:27,163
Brian.
1296
01:41:29,833 --> 01:41:33,753
You don't have to say anything.
Just listen to me.
1297
01:41:33,837 --> 01:41:36,506
I'll just say one thing,
and then I will go away.
1298
01:41:38,592 --> 01:41:42,261
You're my friend,
and whatever else is going on,
1299
01:41:43,180 --> 01:41:48,684
I don't want you to think my feelings
for you relate to what I feel for Jake.
1300
01:41:48,769 --> 01:41:51,145
That's not the problem, and you know it.
1301
01:41:55,776 --> 01:41:57,819
I thought you wanted me
1302
01:41:59,571 --> 01:42:01,531
and that affected me.
1303
01:42:05,285 --> 01:42:08,371
Maybe that's not fair and
I'm reading all kinds of things wrong,
1304
01:42:08,455 --> 01:42:11,374
but it sure felt that way to me.
1305
01:42:19,466 --> 01:42:21,467
I don't know what to say.
1306
01:42:23,095 --> 01:42:29,559
I've just been having
so much fun, and...
1307
01:42:31,854 --> 01:42:34,564
I've had all of these feelings lately,
1308
01:42:34,648 --> 01:42:39,110
and not just my feelings for Jake,
but this...
1309
01:42:41,446 --> 01:42:45,616
Reconnecting with part of myself that
has been shut down for a long time.
1310
01:42:47,077 --> 01:42:50,121
If I indulged those feelings with you,
1311
01:42:50,205 --> 01:42:53,833
or if I took you for granted,
I am so sorry.
1312
01:42:55,502 --> 01:42:57,712
I can't bear that I hurt you.
1313
01:43:01,466 --> 01:43:06,262
It's not your fault.
I totally set myself up for this.
1314
01:43:08,265 --> 01:43:09,599
I'll tell you something,
1315
01:43:09,683 --> 01:43:12,768
I don't know which feels worse,
having my heart broken
1316
01:43:12,811 --> 01:43:16,189
or doubting myself,
because of what that means for me.
1317
01:43:16,273 --> 01:43:20,818
Don't you dare doubt yourself.
You have a gift, and you know it.
1318
01:43:21,528 --> 01:43:25,573
If you start doubting that because of me,
I don't know what I'd do to myself.
1319
01:43:26,408 --> 01:43:28,117
I don't doubt myself because of you.
1320
01:43:28,160 --> 01:43:32,622
I feel at my best when I'm around you,
and that makes me doubt everything.
1321
01:43:36,460 --> 01:43:39,921
I don't know what to do, Brian.
Tell me what to do, and I'll do it.
1322
01:43:59,942 --> 01:44:03,319
Is it me, or is confession getting
a little touchy-feely these days?
1323
01:44:10,160 --> 01:44:11,702
Thank you.
1324
01:44:12,120 --> 01:44:16,040
The lights work, the cameras came
and the chairs are all set up.
1325
01:44:16,708 --> 01:44:20,211
I sent the invitations
and we've got the karaoke machine.
1326
01:44:20,420 --> 01:44:23,756
Oh! No. We need the disks
for the karaoke.
1327
01:44:23,840 --> 01:44:27,677
- I'll call Don at home.
- It's all right, I'll do it now.
1328
01:44:28,470 --> 01:44:31,889
- Excuse me, what is that?
- A cell phone.
1329
01:44:32,099 --> 01:44:34,350
- Since when?
- Anna gave it to me. Look.
1330
01:44:34,393 --> 01:44:38,521
She put God on speed dial. I called it,
it's the Elvis Presley museum.
1331
01:44:42,859 --> 01:44:46,362
Sorry, I have to say this.
You know she's leaving next week?
1332
01:44:46,405 --> 01:44:50,032
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, I'm just checking.
1333
01:44:50,117 --> 01:44:53,619
- You guys have been talking?
- Yeah. We had a good talk.
1334
01:44:54,329 --> 01:44:55,871
- It's okay.
- Good.
1335
01:44:57,040 --> 01:45:00,501
- Good.
- Sure you don't want to talk about this?
1336
01:45:00,544 --> 01:45:04,505
I don't! Am I asking you
to talk about it? I don't want to.
1337
01:45:04,548 --> 01:45:07,008
- I'd talk about it if I wanted to.
- Okay.
1338
01:45:09,011 --> 01:45:12,930
- It's just that she's leaving...
- I know, what do you want me to do?
1339
01:45:15,976 --> 01:45:17,310
Rabbi Schram.
1340
01:45:18,812 --> 01:45:19,895
What?
1341
01:45:21,023 --> 01:45:23,607
- I'm looking for Ruth Schram.
- Dr. Marx.
1342
01:45:24,067 --> 01:45:28,237
- What happened?
- She had a transient ischaemic attack.
1343
01:45:28,280 --> 01:45:32,241
- A what?
- It's an "almost" stroke.
1344
01:45:32,284 --> 01:45:34,368
What does that mean?
1345
01:45:34,411 --> 01:45:36,912
- A blockage of blood...
- Is she all right?
1346
01:45:37,331 --> 01:45:40,416
Bring me my Obsession perfume,
some macaroons,
1347
01:45:41,209 --> 01:45:43,586
and my computer, I gotta e-mail.
1348
01:45:43,628 --> 01:45:47,340
Mom, the doctor said
you must rest for two days...
1349
01:45:47,424 --> 01:45:48,758
Get out of here!
1350
01:45:48,842 --> 01:45:52,845
If I have to stay here for two days,
I'll give them an ischaemic... Whatever.
1351
01:45:57,601 --> 01:46:01,604
I assume your brother
knows all about this?
1352
01:46:02,689 --> 01:46:06,942
Yeah, he's stuck in the Hamptons,
but he's checking in...
1353
01:46:07,611 --> 01:46:11,781
Yeah. Okay, doesn't matter,
I'll be home by tomorrow.
1354
01:46:11,948 --> 01:46:14,200
Thanks for being so dutiful.
1355
01:46:14,284 --> 01:46:16,118
It's our pleasure.
1356
01:46:16,161 --> 01:46:20,247
Where's the third musketeer?
Miss Reilly? Working hard?
1357
01:46:25,087 --> 01:46:29,298
- What?
- You know what, I need a coffee.
1358
01:46:29,383 --> 01:46:34,303
- I'll get it.
- No, that's okay. You stay and talk.
1359
01:46:38,016 --> 01:46:41,644
- What happened?
- I don't want you to worry about this.
1360
01:46:41,686 --> 01:46:45,648
- It's fine, I've dealt with it.
- Dealt with what? How?
1361
01:46:45,690 --> 01:46:48,984
I dealt with it. It's over, and I don't...
1362
01:46:49,027 --> 01:46:50,903
- I wanna talk about this.
- No.
1363
01:46:50,987 --> 01:46:53,614
- I wanna talk!
- You should rest!
1364
01:46:53,657 --> 01:46:57,493
- There's nothing to talk about.
- Yes, there is.
1365
01:47:00,664 --> 01:47:02,998
Sit back, relax.
1366
01:47:03,583 --> 01:47:04,834
Listen to me.
1367
01:47:04,876 --> 01:47:06,516
There's a reason your brother isn't here.
1368
01:47:06,586 --> 01:47:10,047
I know. And I'm not going to let
that happen again.
1369
01:47:10,132 --> 01:47:11,966
You don't know!
1370
01:47:16,346 --> 01:47:18,389
I made a mistake.
1371
01:47:23,478 --> 01:47:28,232
It's true, he's punishing me a little
too much for it, but it was my fault.
1372
01:47:32,320 --> 01:47:35,531
It's hard to see your son as a man.
1373
01:47:39,286 --> 01:47:41,370
I couldn't do that for him.
1374
01:47:43,373 --> 01:47:47,543
You're a man, Jake, a good man.
I did a good job with you.
1375
01:47:51,506 --> 01:47:54,467
Make your own decisions
about what's important to you.
1376
01:47:55,969 --> 01:47:58,137
I'm proud of you, no matter what.
1377
01:47:58,930 --> 01:48:00,097
Mom...
1378
01:48:02,809 --> 01:48:04,185
I love you.
1379
01:48:07,439 --> 01:48:08,772
Thank you.
1380
01:48:42,432 --> 01:48:43,599
Rabbi.
1381
01:48:48,104 --> 01:48:52,441
- How's your mother, Jake?
- Good. She's here tonight.
1382
01:48:52,859 --> 01:48:57,029
That's wonderful. I suppose you
have your speech all prepared?
1383
01:48:57,113 --> 01:49:00,741
- Yeah.
- Good. Good.
1384
01:49:00,784 --> 01:49:03,285
And you'll go out with a bang?
1385
01:49:38,029 --> 01:49:39,238
Shalom.
1386
01:49:45,996 --> 01:49:52,418
Since Yom Kippur is the Super Bowl
of the Jewish calendar,
1387
01:49:52,502 --> 01:49:58,716
most rabbis try to cram
a whole year's worth of sermons
1388
01:49:58,800 --> 01:50:01,302
into one big, best-of sermon.
1389
01:50:02,095 --> 01:50:05,014
I'm not going to do that tonight.
1390
01:50:05,348 --> 01:50:08,267
I won't talk about the meaning of God
1391
01:50:09,394 --> 01:50:13,439
or the situation in Israel
or the status of Jews around the world.
1392
01:50:14,274 --> 01:50:16,400
I'd like to talk about
something more personal.
1393
01:50:17,861 --> 01:50:22,364
I'd like to talk about us,
the status of you and me.
1394
01:50:25,952 --> 01:50:31,206
A wise man once told me
that no rabbi can save anyone,
1395
01:50:32,500 --> 01:50:36,462
he can only offer himself
as a guide to other fearful people.
1396
01:50:39,299 --> 01:50:42,301
We live in a really complex world.
1397
01:50:42,385 --> 01:50:47,431
A world where boundaries and
definitions are blurring into each other
1398
01:50:47,515 --> 01:50:52,394
in ways that challenge us, not just
as Jews, but as human beings.
1399
01:50:54,439 --> 01:50:57,941
For a while now, you've let me
be your guide.
1400
01:50:58,401 --> 01:51:02,905
You've shared your lives with me,
1401
01:51:04,449 --> 01:51:07,034
you've explored your faith with me
1402
01:51:07,077 --> 01:51:12,414
in ways that, I know, sometimes have
seemed strange and even scary.
1403
01:51:13,667 --> 01:51:15,876
But you put your trust in me.
1404
01:51:16,711 --> 01:51:20,130
And, over the past few months,
1405
01:51:20,215 --> 01:51:22,591
I have been violating that trust.
1406
01:51:24,094 --> 01:51:27,846
I've been violating it
by not sharing my life with you.
1407
01:51:30,433 --> 01:51:33,644
For a number of months, I've been
seeing a woman who isn't Jewish.
1408
01:51:38,316 --> 01:51:42,653
It doesn't matter if I'm still with her,
or if I still love her, which I do.
1409
01:51:42,737 --> 01:51:47,366
What matters is that I shouldn't have
been afraid to discuss it with you.
1410
01:51:51,663 --> 01:51:53,872
I'm not sorry for loving her.
1411
01:51:56,000 --> 01:52:00,379
I am sorry, I'm very sorry,
that I put too little faith in you.
1412
01:52:06,136 --> 01:52:08,637
Yom Kippur is the day of atonement,
1413
01:52:10,932 --> 01:52:12,558
and so tonight,
1414
01:52:14,269 --> 01:52:18,689
I stand before you
and ask you to forgive me.
1415
01:52:38,084 --> 01:52:43,964
This could take a while. Go home.
I'll call when the board has decided.
1416
01:52:47,886 --> 01:52:50,220
Or you could stick around. Okay?
1417
01:53:15,538 --> 01:53:17,164
Come on. Come on!
1418
01:53:18,708 --> 01:53:20,709
- Yes? Yes!
- Yes!
1419
01:53:22,712 --> 01:53:24,463
Don't mess with me like that!
1420
01:53:28,384 --> 01:53:31,553
This is so fantastic. How does it feel?
1421
01:53:31,638 --> 01:53:33,180
It feels good.
1422
01:53:34,140 --> 01:53:37,893
We've got a lot to celebrate tonight,
barring an interfaith rumble!
1423
01:53:37,977 --> 01:53:41,647
- It's definitely Manischewitz time.
- We have two cases.
1424
01:53:41,731 --> 01:53:46,318
- Did you get the disks from Don?
- No, I'm going to, don't worry.
1425
01:53:47,070 --> 01:53:50,364
Not to rain on your parade,
but I had to say goodbye to Anna.
1426
01:53:51,407 --> 01:53:54,117
I know you don't want
to talk about it, but there it is.
1427
01:53:54,202 --> 01:53:56,703
There what is?
Come on, man, what are you doing?
1428
01:53:56,746 --> 01:53:58,831
What do you want me to do?
Flagellate myself?
1429
01:53:58,998 --> 01:54:01,959
Jews don't do that. We plant trees.
1430
01:54:02,043 --> 01:54:06,797
Who's talking about feeling guilty?
I thought you'd wanna do something.
1431
01:54:06,881 --> 01:54:11,134
You're on such a roll right now.
What's holding you back?
1432
01:54:11,928 --> 01:54:15,514
- You love her, don't you?
- Yes, I do, I just...
1433
01:54:16,850 --> 01:54:20,686
- Sometimes that's not enough.
- Listen to what you're saying!
1434
01:54:20,770 --> 01:54:24,982
Not enough? There's nothing else
that's worth anything against that.
1435
01:54:25,775 --> 01:54:30,904
For years you've talked about how
much you want something like this,
1436
01:54:30,947 --> 01:54:35,284
and when it comes, you walk away
over a few minor complications.
1437
01:54:36,286 --> 01:54:39,621
What kind of plan is that?
You know how God works.
1438
01:54:39,831 --> 01:54:45,335
Think He'll give you this a second
time 'cause you're on his crew?
1439
01:54:46,129 --> 01:54:47,796
Seriously, look at me.
1440
01:54:49,090 --> 01:54:52,467
As your friend, I'm telling you,
you're making this too complicated.
1441
01:54:53,344 --> 01:54:58,974
It's very simple. You love each other,
and she's leaving in two hours!
1442
01:54:59,809 --> 01:55:03,854
You need to ask yourself,
are you going to do anything or not?
1443
01:55:08,818 --> 01:55:10,193
Why are you standing here?
1444
01:55:10,820 --> 01:55:15,157
- You're right! Why am I standing here?
- The sign hasn't changed.
1445
01:55:16,117 --> 01:55:18,785
This is New York City!
Who waits for a sign?
1446
01:55:18,828 --> 01:55:19,953
Cross the damn street!
1447
01:55:19,996 --> 01:55:23,290
Do we need signs to tell us
what to do? Cross the street!
1448
01:55:23,333 --> 01:55:26,293
- I gotta go!
- Go, yes, go!
1449
01:55:26,336 --> 01:55:29,046
- Brian, thank you!
- What happened to free will?
1450
01:55:31,174 --> 01:55:33,926
Go! Go forth and prosper!
1451
01:55:40,266 --> 01:55:44,144
- Sir, may I help you?
- T-Bone, I gotta see Anna.
1452
01:55:58,242 --> 01:56:00,452
I'm sorry, there's no answer.
1453
01:56:00,578 --> 01:56:04,539
T-Bone, look at me.
Don't you recognize me? It's Jake.
1454
01:56:05,041 --> 01:56:09,169
- What is this in reference to?
- It's not in reference to anything!
1455
01:56:09,462 --> 01:56:12,923
Do me a favor.
This is very important to me.
1456
01:56:13,007 --> 01:56:16,843
Go and tell anybody
that Jake Schram is here, okay?
1457
01:56:16,928 --> 01:56:19,721
- I can't do that, sir.
- Help me out!
1458
01:56:19,764 --> 01:56:22,474
Come on, just two guys, T.
1459
01:56:24,143 --> 01:56:28,355
- Take me with you.
- I don't know where I'm going yet.
1460
01:56:28,564 --> 01:56:29,982
What's that?
1461
01:56:30,233 --> 01:56:34,736
You're going to San Francisco
to lead the exciting life.
1462
01:56:34,904 --> 01:56:38,490
Don't tell anybody, but I need
a break from this exciting life.
1463
01:56:39,534 --> 01:56:41,535
- Really?
- Yeah, I do.
1464
01:56:41,828 --> 01:56:44,287
So, what are you packing there,
something like 280, 290?
1465
01:56:45,748 --> 01:56:47,708
- 320.
- Oh, 320.
1466
01:57:05,184 --> 01:57:08,562
Okay, okay... All right!
1467
01:57:08,604 --> 01:57:11,690
Next time, sir, I suggest
you make an appointment.
1468
01:57:26,622 --> 01:57:30,959
No, seriously, a toast. To Anna.
1469
01:57:31,377 --> 01:57:33,587
- To Anna.
- Hear, hear.
1470
01:57:34,881 --> 01:57:37,758
- Thank you. I'll miss you guys.
- Yeah, right!
1471
01:57:38,092 --> 01:57:41,261
I'm going to miss a lot of things
around here,
1472
01:57:41,304 --> 01:57:44,890
like Len's endless
Howard Stern recountings.
1473
01:57:45,016 --> 01:57:48,310
And, of course, I'll miss
my Casanova boy across the way.
1474
01:57:49,145 --> 01:57:51,021
- Hey, what is that?
- What?
1475
01:57:52,607 --> 01:57:55,984
- Oh, my God.
- Who is that?
1476
01:57:58,571 --> 01:58:00,739
- It's Jake.
- What's he doing?
1477
01:58:00,823 --> 01:58:02,074
I don't know.
1478
01:58:02,158 --> 01:58:03,450
Pick up the phone!
1479
01:58:05,453 --> 01:58:09,706
- Anna Reilly.
- Anna, it's Jake. Can you see me?
1480
01:58:09,791 --> 01:58:12,667
I can only see my reflection.
1481
01:58:12,710 --> 01:58:15,087
I see you, what are you doing?
1482
01:58:15,171 --> 01:58:19,382
I tried to get up there, but it's like
the Pentagon with that T-Bone.
1483
01:58:19,509 --> 01:58:22,803
I decided to try Casanova here.
His name's Howard.
1484
01:58:23,012 --> 01:58:25,639
I've been thinking about some things,
I'd like to talk to you.
1485
01:58:27,850 --> 01:58:31,061
- Am I on speakerphone?
- Hi, Jake!
1486
01:58:32,730 --> 01:58:34,606
- Hi.
- Go on.
1487
01:58:35,191 --> 01:58:39,611
- Can we talk? Can I come over?
- No, now is a good time.
1488
01:58:40,363 --> 01:58:43,365
Okay. All right.
1489
01:58:43,866 --> 01:58:49,412
Listen, I've been thinking...
I just want you to know I'm sorry.
1490
01:58:49,497 --> 01:58:52,457
- And you were right.
- About what?
1491
01:58:52,542 --> 01:58:56,378
About everything. About us,
about me, especially about me.
1492
01:58:56,462 --> 01:58:59,631
- I acted like an idiot.
- What are you saying?
1493
01:58:59,799 --> 01:59:02,134
Yeah, what are you saying, Jake?
1494
01:59:03,678 --> 01:59:05,762
I'm saying that I love you.
1495
01:59:08,015 --> 01:59:09,516
I'm in love with you.
1496
01:59:10,893 --> 01:59:14,813
I've waited all my life for someone
like you, and I won't let you go.
1497
01:59:16,858 --> 01:59:20,402
Please, don't go.
Anna, I don't want you to go.
1498
01:59:23,573 --> 01:59:25,907
Could we get off the phone?
1499
01:59:27,702 --> 01:59:30,245
Hello? What's going on? Anna?
1500
01:59:30,329 --> 01:59:32,164
- She's gone, buddy. Move!
- What?
1501
01:59:39,088 --> 01:59:43,258
- Stuff like that never happens to me.
- Me, neither.
1502
02:00:03,571 --> 02:00:06,823
No jokes, no surprises
1503
02:00:08,618 --> 02:00:14,956
No crisis arises
My life goes along as it should
1504
02:00:15,333 --> 02:00:21,296
It's all very nice but not very good
1505
02:00:22,465 --> 02:00:29,387
And I'm ready to take a chance again
1506
02:00:30,473 --> 02:00:36,645
Ready to put my love
on the line with you
1507
02:00:37,730 --> 02:00:42,442
Living with nothing to show for it
1508
02:00:42,777 --> 02:00:46,947
You get what you get
when you go for it
1509
02:00:47,156 --> 02:00:52,160
And I'm ready to take a chance again
1510
02:00:52,328 --> 02:00:58,875
Ready to put my love
on the line with you
1511
02:00:59,001 --> 02:01:03,255
Than living with nothing to show for it
1512
02:01:03,589 --> 02:01:07,759
You get what you get
when you go for it
1513
02:01:09,011 --> 02:01:10,178
Hey!
1514
02:01:11,681 --> 02:01:14,140
- Everything okay here?
- All good things.
1515
02:01:14,183 --> 02:01:15,809
All good things.
1516
02:01:17,061 --> 02:01:23,149
With you
I'm ready to take that chance again
1517
02:01:23,192 --> 02:01:24,276
Hi.
1518
02:01:25,528 --> 02:01:28,697
Rabbi Lewis. Anna, this is Rabbi Lewis.
1519
02:01:28,864 --> 02:01:31,866
- Good to see you again.
- And you, Rabbi.
1520
02:01:31,993 --> 02:01:35,328
- You missed our last class.
- I thought I was leaving town.
1521
02:01:37,790 --> 02:01:41,710
- Don't look at me like that.
- I'd love to start again.
1522
02:01:41,919 --> 02:01:44,170
- I'd be delighted.
- Anna...
1523
02:01:46,299 --> 02:01:49,050
If you'll excuse us, we're off dancing.
1524
02:01:49,760 --> 02:01:52,721
- Come on, let's get this started.
- Okay.
1525
02:01:56,684 --> 02:02:00,061
Attention, please.
We'd like to kick this off.
1526
02:02:00,438 --> 02:02:03,023
So great to see such a great turn-out.
1527
02:02:04,150 --> 02:02:07,110
- Thank you for coming.
- Congratulations.
1528
02:02:08,487 --> 02:02:10,807
It's wonderful to see so much
interfaith dancing happening.
1529
02:02:11,157 --> 02:02:15,535
Like the end of West Side Story
warms the heart.
1530
02:02:16,412 --> 02:02:19,998
- Let's give ourselves a hand.
- This is your place. Enjoy it.
1531
02:02:20,583 --> 02:02:21,833
Hit it.
1532
02:02:36,349 --> 02:02:37,932
- Hello.
- Hello.
1533
02:02:41,729 --> 02:02:45,315
- Is three a crowd here?
- Not this three.
1534
02:02:47,818 --> 02:02:49,152
Hold it!
1535
02:03:21,310 --> 02:03:23,103
Do you want to know
1536
02:03:23,771 --> 02:03:30,151
If everything glittering
will turn into the gold
1537
02:03:31,070 --> 02:03:36,533
I see in your hair?
I feel it could be there
1538
02:03:36,700 --> 02:03:41,454
Somehow tonight
1539
02:03:43,833 --> 02:03:46,251
And do you want to find
1540
02:03:46,502 --> 02:03:52,674
Something worth saving?
The change would do me right
1541
02:03:53,592 --> 02:03:58,596
'Cause I've been just waiting
and hesitating
1542
02:03:58,681 --> 02:04:02,642
With this heart
1543
02:04:02,685 --> 02:04:03,185
of mine
1544
02:04:12,778 --> 02:04:15,029
You're still a mystery
1545
02:04:15,364 --> 02:04:21,703
But there's something so easy
in how you're sweet to me
1546
02:04:22,663 --> 02:04:27,584
I feel completed
Like it's something I needed
1547
02:04:27,751 --> 02:04:30,128
For this heart
1548
02:04:31,797 --> 02:04:32,297
of mine
1549
02:04:42,266 --> 02:04:45,101
There's always something so tragic
1550
02:04:48,731 --> 02:04:52,484
About a hopeless romantic
1551
02:05:10,461 --> 02:05:12,587
So though we cannot know
1552
02:05:13,005 --> 02:05:19,427
If everything glittering
will turn into the gold
1553
02:05:20,262 --> 02:05:26,184
I'm through with waiting and hesitating
1554
02:05:26,685 --> 02:05:28,561
I want you taking
1555
02:05:28,938 --> 02:05:31,648
This heart
1556
02:05:33,025 --> 02:05:33,525
of mine
1557
02:05:42,284 --> 02:05:49,290
Heart of mine129799