Original subtitles

♪

I vote we keep them on. They're stylish, man.

Yours has cool doodles.

Mine is apparently an old person's grocery list.

Fiber powder. Bunion pads.

Mrs. Tinsley's Old Fashioned Butter Lozanges

for Well Behaved Boys.

No, thanks.

[ Grunting ]

♪

[ Grunting ]

Aw.

[ Grunts ]

♪

Hey like, wouldn't it be fun if I, like,

wore this hat for the rest of the time

we were here and you, like, called me Lorraine?

- Why? - I don't know.

Why do you hate fun, Min?

I don't hate fun. I just...

[ Sighs ] Oh.

Who in this car hates you?

Again, Kez?

Lorraine.

[ Sighs ] Fine.

Lorraine, what did you do this time?

Lorraine answers to no man.

[ Rumbling ]

[ Both grunting ]

Treats for Pig Baby!

Have you brought something tasty for Pig Baby?

Uh, I'm sorry, we didn't know we should bring food.

We were just looking for the door.

No treats?

[ Crying ]

You've upset Pig Baby.

Oh, aww. Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh.

Oh, shoosh. There, there.

Who's a pretty baby, oh?

- I am. - [ Chuckles ] That's right.

And what do pretty pigs say, ah?

Oink, oink, oink.

Aww, that's our good boy.

You must make Pig Baby a treat to make it up to him.

[ Crying ] Huh?

[ Laughing ]

Uh, look, Mrs. Cow Creamer,

we don't want to upset your, uh, son?

But we have to be on our way.

[ Deep voice ] Yeah, man.

We're supposed to meet up with my roommate.

Who's that you're with?

Uh, just me. Lorraine.

Kiss me, I'm a chef's hat.

♪

No, thank you.

Aah!

[ Grunts, chuckles ]

Whoa there, Lorraine.

[ Normal voice ] Dudes, just make the treat,

and we'll look for the door later.

We can't have Pig Baby knowing I'm here.

[ Chuckles ] Okay, Mrs. Cow Creamer.

We'll make something.

Ooh, magnifique.

You'll find our kitchen fully stocked.

Though I'm sorry there's not more butter.

There was a bit of an incident.

Butter! Waaaah! My butter!

Oh, there, there, plumpkins.

The cookbook is up there.

Choose wisely.

My little angel is very hard to impress.

[ Sighs ] How are we supposed to get up there?

[ Deep voice ] You just got to jump, man.

No way, Lorraine.

[ Grunts ]

Ryan, you can't just... ugh!

You have to think before you do things.

Lorraine said to jump,

and now I'm up here by the cookbook

and you're down there like a chump without a cookbook.

[ Sighs ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Both grunting ]

Chicken liver anchovy toast?

Wax beans O'Brian?

Tomato frost?

Ugh, it's American.

Well, there's got to be a simple brownie recipe or something.

[ Scoffs ] Min, please.

The Creamer said to wow Pig Baby.

Here.

This one actually sounds pretty good.

It also looks pretty complicated.

We'll be fine.

Go big or go home.

If we can ever even get home.

♪

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

And the final touch.

If I was at Dumpty's right now,

I would be ashamed to serve this.

Puh-lease. It had tons of ingredients,

so like, um, you know, confidence.

[ Pig baby crying ]

Cow Creamer: Didn't puree the strawberries,

over-whipped the egg whites, and you chose chiffon

even though it needs to be chilled overnight.

But we took a pretty big swing,

so points for that at least?

We'll do better.

It's fine. We'll find something.

[ Sighs ]

Ew. Warm banana mayonnaise salad?

Ugh, Americans, man.

Great music, disgusting post-war food.

I say we try it. He's a pig, right?

He probably loves gross American food.

Why else would this be the only cookbook?

♪

[ Pig Baby crying ]

Aww. [ Smooching ]

You forgot the lettuce, and it's cold.

[ Grunting ]

[ Humming ]

[ Sighs ]

Cow Creamer: Custard does not have beef floss.

[ Groans ]

[ Gasps ]

Zippers are not a food.

You got to respect someone

trying to innovate in their field.

No, Lorraine, I don't.

Try again, and perhaps try finding something simple

that actually tastes good from that disgusting cookbook,

which was the only one left after a tragic grease fire.

Pig Baby doesn't like that food?

Who in their right mind enjoys post-war American food?

- I told you. - I know. Okay?

I know. Whatever. We'll do brownies.

Fine.

Well, this will come as a surprise to no one.

We're out of butter.

[ Normal voice ] Aw, man. My butter.

I hope it's okay.

Kez?

Were you the butter incident?

So, like, maybe when I was here last time,

I put a bunch of butter in the microwave,

set it for five minutes, forgot,

and, like, maybe all the butter melted.

- And then you what, left? - Or what?

Stay in the kitchen forever?

I am not about to turn the clock back on women's lib, man.

Kez!

Ugh. It'll be fine.

Follow me.

I mean, at the end of the day,

it's still butter, right?

[ Both sigh ]

- Aah! - [ Grunts, chuckles ]

♪

[ Bell dings ] [ Both grunt ]

Wait.

Okay, they're done.

Shouldn't the toothpick be clean?

Nah, that would mean they're too dry.

They need to be kind of fudgy in the middle.

Both: Because otherwise it'd just be cake.

Look who's suddenly a brownie expert.

It was in the recipe book.

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, a humble brownie expert.

Well, what can I say?

"Your Honor, I am a simple man."

[ Chuckling ] Okay, okay.

"A simple brownie man."

[ Both laugh ]

[ Whirring ]

Huh?

Oh, your numbers went down.

Um, cool.

[ Gasps ] You learned to slow down.

What? We're here to learn lessons, right?

That's the thing that just happened.

You took your time with something for once, and... Hey.

And if you're the one who learned something,

then that means...

I'm the one who made the numbers change.

Yes.

So you're the one who was meant to be on the train, not me.

Oh. I didn't know.

I wouldn't have made you follow me if...

Ah, I forgive you.

It was a freak accident,

and I'll do everything I can to help you mature.

[ Whirring ]

Huh. Maybe the lesson didn't stick.

Maybe you need to prove you learned it

by doing it again in the future.

I guess?

Ready to give a treat to a fussy baby?

Sure, man.

Yummers! [ Chomping ]

Ooh, excellent work.

I've never seen Pig Baby so delighted by a treat.

More.

Mais oui. More.

What? No.

He's happy now, so we're gonna exit.

No, no. You will keep cooking.

Pig Baby must be kept happy.

Until Pig Baby dies,

and you'll be the new Pig Baby.

No way, you creepy creamer.

[ Laughs maniacally ]

[ Gasps ]

Pig Baby ate the exit.

We have to find a way in there.

[ Shudders ] This car is messed, man.

How are we supposed to get him to stop chewing?

[ Laughter continues ]

[ Gasps ] Butter Kez.

[ Crying ] Kez melted all of Pig Baby's yummy butter.

Okay, Pig Baby, like, we're all just adults here,

so let's just... Waaaahhhhh!

Come now. Oh, be a brave.

Oh, would you like some lard?

Does a sweet widdle baby want some lard?

Waaaahhhhh!

[ Both chuckle ]

Aw, gross, man.

Here's hoping we don't have to cook again

to get your number down.

[ Exhales sharply ] Yeah. Right.

Right, right, numbers.

But like we just learned, don't push yourself, man.

Because it's not about the desti-something.

It's about the whatever.

Yeah. You can't help it if you have a lot to learn.

♪

[ Sighs ]

♪