All language subtitles for Hollywood.Hotel.1937.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

Hollywood Hotel. Good evening.

Just a moment, I'll connect you.

Hooray for Hollywood

That screwy, ballyhoo-y Hollywood

Where any office boy or young mechanic

Can be a panic

With just a good-looking pan

And any shop girl

Can be a top girl

If she pleases the tired businessman

Hooray for Hollywood

You may be homely in your neighborhood

To be an actor, see Mr. Factor

He'll make your kisser look good

Go out and try your luck

You may be Donald Duck

Hooray for Hollywood

Hooray for Hollywood

Hey, Benny.

Hi, Ronnie. Come on, fellas, here he is.

Come on, Ronnie. Come on, Ronnie.

Hooray for Hollywood

That bully, wild and woolly Hollywood

They hire cowboys
Then they hang their chaps up

And doll their maps up
And give them all that they lacked

Now, ain't it funny?

They pay them money

Shows what you can do
If your horse can act

Hooray for Hollywood

They hire fellas
Whose physiques are good

And then they tell them
They're the perfect-shape men

To act like ape men

And they convince them they should

They make them grunt and yell

And people think they're swell

Oh, hooray for Hollywood

It's really got me, hooray

- Hooray
- Hooray

Hooray

Hooray for Hollywood

Hollywood

Yeah!

Hey, thanks. Thanks, gang.
Gee, Benny.

It's swell of you to come down
and give me this sendoff.

- You got me homesick before I leave.
- Oh, forget it, kid.

It's not every day we send a sax player
off to Hollywood.

- You said it.
- That's right.

All aboard for Los Angeles.

- Hey, I guess that's me, huh?
- Goodbye, Ronnie.

Aren't you thrilled, going to Hollywood
with a 10-week contract?

- That's just it, I'll be back in 10 weeks.
- No, you got what the movies want.

What's that?

I don't know.
All I know is, I ain't got it.

That scout must've been cross-eyed.
He was looking at somebody else.

Benny,
I'm hanging right on to my saxophone.

That's all right, boy,
you've always got a job in my band.

- Thanks. I'm afraid I'll be back after it.
- Good.

Gosh, I'm gonna miss you kids.

You're gonna be so busy running
around with those picture stars.

- You won't have time to miss anybody.
- I will.

Oh, what a life.
Just falling in and out of swimming pools.

- Your name, please?
- Uh, Bowers. Ronnie Bowers.

Seat 9, sir. All aboard.

- Goodbye, gang.
- Goodbye, Ronnie. Goodbye.

Goodbye, kid, and good luck.

Goodbye. Thanks for everything.

- Don't you ever kiss an old pal goodbye?
- Sure.

- Goodbye, Alice.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye, Benny. Goodbye, gang.

The things I do for All-Star Pictures.

This meets a new low.

Getting up at 7:00 in the morning
to meet a saxophone player.

For 15 years, I met boats and trains.
Then they started this plane business.

When they begin shooting them in rockets,
I'll quit.

Me too.

Hi, Bernie. I hear All-Star signed up
the Supreme Court to do a picture...

- ...and they're coming in on this plane.
- Yeah.

You know me. The photographer
that covers Hollywood for the world.

Why don't you give up and go on relief?

Oh, you know me, huh?
What do you mean?

Want me to stand in line
and wait for my check?

Maybe I can arrange
to have them mailed to you.

- Okay.
- How are you?

- How are you?
- Have...

Where do you think you're going?

Where am I going? See that?
What do you think it is, rhubarb?

- Wait a minute.
- All right, cut it out. Don't be yelling.

See that crowd?
They're waiting to see Ronnie Bowers.

That first guy's a publicity man
for Ronnie Bowers.

And the second guy's a cameraman
for Ronnie Bowers.

- Well, who are you?
- Ha-ha.

I'm Ronnie Bowers. Okay.

- That must be him.
- They're not gonna make a star out of him.

Why not?
They made one out of Rin Tin Tin.

Yeah, but he could bark.

- Bowers?
- Yes.

I'm Bernie Walton, All-Star Pictures.
Publicity.

Oh, how do you do?

- Did you have a nice trip? Little bumpy.
- Yes, yes.

How are things back east? Good.
They're good everywhere now.

- How do you like California? Fine.
- Well...

Everybody does
till their option's dropped.

All right, let's have him over here
on the steps.

- Uh, what's your name again?
- Bowers. Ronnie Bowers.

Yeah, Bowers.
We wanna take a couple of pictures.

You know, getting out of the plane.
Happy to be in California.

Stand up on the step.

- All right.
- That's fine.

- This okay?
- Yeah.

Stay there.
You better take another one, Joe.

Look, Bowers, take your hat off
and be waving it.

Smile. Give us a big smile.

One of those, "Hello, California.
I'm tickled to death to be here."

You can't tell. You might like it.

- Is that all?
- Yeah, see you.

Okay, Mr. Bowers, let's go.

- Hold it, Bernie. Hold it, now.
- That'll be all.

- Okay, another picture, kid.
- Smile. Here we are. Hold it.

A corker.

You ought to use light makeup
on that guy.

He photographs pretty dark.

Come on, Bowers, let's get going.

Well, here we are.

Sorry I can't stick with you,
but I've gotta interview a horse.

We signed him up for the lead
in a Western.

- What are you gonna say?
- I don't know yet.

He's an Arabian horse.
They'll have an interpreter.

Well, goodbye.
Thanks for meeting me.

I'll stick around the hotel
till I get a call.

- Just relax. You're on salary.
- Thank you.

- So long.
- So long.

All right, let's go.

Paging Mr. Randolph. Mr. Randolph.

Paging Mr. Randolph. Mr. Randolph.

Paging Mr. Randolph. Mr. Randolph.

Paging Mr. Randolph.

Paging Mr. Randolph.

Mr. Randolph.

Hello. Oh, Miss Marshall.

- Take this package to Miss Marshall also.
- This package also.

- Hello. Any mail for Miss Marshall?
- There is.

- Studio calling Miss Marshall.
- Studio wants Miss Marshall.

- Miss Marshall's car canceled?
- No.

- We'll cancel your car, Miss Marshall.
- Cancel Miss Marshall's car.

Yes, thank you.

How do you do? I'm the manager.
Can I be of service to you?

Oh, yes. Thank you.

Have you a reservation for
Miss Marshall...? Uh, uh... Ronnie Bowers?

- I'll see. Reservation for Bowers.
- I'll see, sir.

- Did you come in on the plane?
- It was bumpy.

- Is Miss Marshall's car ready? Big one.
- Yes, sir.

- Is that Mona Marshall, the picture star?
- There's only one Mona Marshall, sir.

Oh. Oh.

We're putting you in 711-A.
I think you'll find it most comfortable.

You're to be with All-Star, I see. Acting?

Well, uh, yes, I... In a way.
I'm really a saxophone player.

Saxophonist. Oh.

- Put Mr. Bowers in 312.
- Yes, sir.

Good morning, sir.

Right this way, sir.

That's the Orchid Room, huh?

Yeah, I've heard a lot of broadcasts
from there.

Paging Mr. Marshall.

Mr. Marshall, please.

Paging Mr. Marshall.

Mr. Marshall, please.

Paging Mr. Marshall.

- Want a light?
- Yes, thank you.

Oh, yes. Thank you. Here.

Paging Mr. Marshall.

Mr. Marshall, please.
Paging Mr. Marshall.

- I just saw Mr. Marshall in the barroom.
- Thank you.

Just a minute, please, boy.

- This is Mr. Marshall.
- Oh, how are you?

- How are you? Glad to see you.
- You're Mr. Marshall.

- When did that happen?
- I have a telegram.

You have? Why didn't you tell me?
It's important.

Well, goodbye, Mr. Marshall.
Glad to have seen you.

Hollywood Hotel. Good afternoon.

- Yes, sir. Here's your party.
- Good afternoon.

Hollywood Hotel. Good afternoon.

Orchid Room reservation?
Just a moment, please.

Will you tell Miss Marshall
Louella Parsons is on her way up?

Sure. Thanks.

- Hey, Fuzzy.
- What?

- There's Louella Parsons.
- Who's Parsons?

- The newspaper woman, the columnist.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Parsons.
- Oh, hello.

- Are you sure that's her?
- I think it is.

Well, don't let me waste my time.

Are you going up to Marshall's
apartment, that crazy house?

- Yes, for a little quiet interview.
- Yeah? So are we.

Hey, Parsons, why don't you put me
in that column once in a while?

- I'm never in there.
- Oh, you're not news.

"I'm not news." Get her.

What does she want me to do,
take a bath in champagne?

- Soap and water will do.
- "Soap and water." Ha-ha.

That's Parsons, all right.

Hollywood Hotel. Good afternoon.

Miss Marshall's apartment?
I'll connect you.

Hello?

No, this is Miss Jones,
Miss Marshall's secretary.

Yes, I know. It's always important.
What was it you wanted?

Yeah... Did you say "launch" or "lunch"?

I see.
Well, to be perfectly frank with you...

...Miss Marshall had
a very unfortunate experience...

...with the last battleship she launched.

Yes. Yes, it slid into the water, sunk
and hasn't been heard from since.

Oh, yes.
Yes, she was very embarrassed.

So was the captain. He was on it.

You're welcome.

- Darling, I really think...
- No, Miss Marshall, I want...

Yes, I do like that.

Here, take Frou-Frou to the library.
Yes, I like it too.

Have you seen my lovely bracelets?

Please, everybody. Quiet. Quiet.
My nerves. My nerves. I'm going mad.

Mona, darling, the dress is so gorgeous,
I can't stand it.

Do you really think so, Butch?

Really.
I want it right on the floor, Bella.

If your fans don't collapse
on the sidewalk...

...when you walk
into that theater tonight...

...I'll tear it to pieces.

Stop pulling it.

- You pushed me.
- No, I didn't.

Someone did.

Oh, Louella, don't you think this gown
is just too obtrusive?

Well, it is you, dear.

Alex will be simply mad about it.

Tell me, what are your views
on marriage anyway?

Well, I do like a ceremony.

I can have these dyed
any color you wish.

- Oh, yes...
- No, no, no.

- But I like the shoes.
- Am I the designer...

- ...or am I the designer?
- All right, dear.

I want her feet practically on the ground.

Nothing but jewels.

You'll have to stand still.
I can't get this straight.

- Darling, I'm trying.
- If you don't...

- This contract is ready to be signed.
- Oh, Jonesy, where are you?

Can't you take that thing to my agent? He
should do something for his 10 percent. Ow!

Bella, those pins. Oh, my nerves.

- Have you a cigarette, dear?
- Sure, dear.

You still haven't told me a thing.

What about your romance with Alex?
Do you think two actors should marry?

One of them should be a woman,
don't you?

- What?
- The one that looks the best in the veil.

Now, Jonesy, you're confusing Mona.

I'm giving this interview, Miss Jones.
What's going on in the living room?

Fuzzy Boyle. I told him he could take
some portraits of you.

What, again?

Why do you this to me?

Why do you torture me like this?

People. People. People.

Isn't there anybody else in the world
but people?

You see what my life is, Louella.
Not a minute to myself.

I work, I slave and what do I get?
Money, money, money.

A ridiculous fortune.

But give it to me. I'll sign it.

Oh, I do hope you'll tell every girl
to stay out of pictures, Louella.

My dear, I've been telling them that
for years.

But the glamour of Hollywood's
too strong.

What am I signing?
I thought you said it was to be 4000.

Your father wants a new horse. Sign it.

There you are.

Radio. Pictures. People.
What will they invent next to annoy me?

- Please stand still, Miss Marshall.
- You better try this on.

- The furrier wants an answer.
- Oh, yes. Let me see.

Oh, I don't know.

I think maybe it should have
a few more skins.

Still... What do you think of it, Butch?

I don't like it at all.

Oh, I don't think I like it either. Here.

Here. Send it back.
Tell them I don't want it.

Tell them to add more skins
and I'll take it.

They didn't have any more skins.
If you go and get more...

Me? Why, where would I...?

You see what I have to contend with?

Not only do they expect me
to play in my pictures...

...sign my radio contracts,
design my wardrobe...

...appear at luncheons and dinners.

But on top of all of that, they want me
to go out and shoot my own skunks.

I mean, mink. No, fox.
Oh, I don't know what I mean.

I'm going mad. Mad.

- Hurry up.
- Yes.

Oh, my thyroids.

Why don't you get Mona like this?

- All right. Okay.
- Hey.

- What are you doing up there?
- Pictures.

Why don't you sit over here? It's lower.
Ha-ha-ha.

Hey, what are you mumbling about?

- I'm not mumbling. Get the focus.
- I thought you was mumbling.

- Aa-ha-ha!
- Come on. Cut it out. Who are you?

How do you do? I'm Mona's sister.

Mona's sister.
Hey, just goes to show you.

Yeah, don't it? I'm anemic.

- You're what?
- I'm anemic.

- What, from the eyes up?
- Oh, no. That's not the trouble.

What blood I got goes to my head
and I, pfft, fall over.

Sometimes I fall over six, seven,
eight times.

- On your head?
- Yeah.

That's where the trouble is.
Look out she don't grab us.

- Hey, wait a minute.
- She's got me.

I know a man that's got so much blood
he doesn't know what to do with it.

- Are you kidding?
- Yeah, he sold it for $10 a quart.

Just shows you the different rackets.

- You can get wine for less than that.
- You can get out for less.

- Now, come on, now.
- I wanna stay here. I wanna talk to you.

I like you on account of
you got such a nice, swollen face.

Swollen face. What do I look like,
two people? Cut it out, will you?

Wait a minute. I'll be right back and then
we can continue our interesting talk.

What does she mean, "swollen face"?

Hello.

- You like that material, Miss Parsons?
- I think it's really beautiful.

- Hi.
- Hello.

Mona, can I please wear this dress
to the premiere tonight?

No, you can't. You get out of here.

Oh, is that your little sister?

Oh, yes. Yes, the baby.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm the baby.

Darling, this is Louella Parsons.

- Oh, how do you do?
- Hello, baby.

I'm just crazy about your column.
Sure wish I could read.

She's such a shy little thing.

Of course, Daddy, my father,
has kept her in school most of her life.

She simply adores languages.
Now, say something in algebra, dear.

You bet.

It's a dead language, Mona.

- Dye these, send a pair of black ones.
- Gee, I guess I better go.

- Louella, I want you to see my bracelets.
- You mean you want black ones too?

Get her a pair of skates
while you're at it.

I want a pair
of very high-heeled jeweled sandals.

What are you gonna wear them with?

Oh, Louella, I've neglected you terribly.

I have a secret to tell you.
It's the headline of headlines.

- How nice.
- Promise you won't publish it.

It's simply terrific.

I'm going to play Angela in Bitter Night.

- But, my...
- It's a wonderful role.

- A marvelous story for an actress.
- Listen.

Who else in pictures could play it?
The book was practically written for me.

It's a secret now.

Mona, you haven't read my column
this morning.

Oh, hello, Alex.

Have you seen Parsons' column?
It's perfectly preposterous, Louella.

How could they possibly
put this picture on without me?

- I mean, without us?
- What are you raving about?

It can't be that important.

"Randall and Lynn sign to play leads
in Bitter Night."

Oh, that's ridiculous.

"The most coveted roles of the season...

...the leads in the best-selling novel
Bitter Night...

...have been given by All-Star Pictures
to stage favorites...

...Ralph Randall and Carol Lynn.

This finally puts an end to the rumor...

...that Mona Marshall
was to play the feminine lead." Aah!

This smells like some of Faulkin's work.

Oh, Louella, I'm so sorry,
but her nerves are overworked.

I understand.
I've got a deadline to make anyway.

- I'll see you to the door, dear.
- Goodbye.

What is this, a trick?

Don't think I care
whether or not I play the part.

I haven't a selfish bone in my body.

It's millions of people
that have grown to love me...

...that I'm constantly thinking of.

Do something.
What are you standing there for?

You must have fans
interested in what you do.

A couple of fans?

The letters have been pouring in,
demanding I play the part.

I didn't know your fans could write.

I'm crazy to see that picture.

I saw Carol Lynn on the stage
and she was just wonderful.

Things have come to a pretty pass
when your own family...

...don't wanna see you on the screen.

I'm gonna see my agent.
Something's gotta be done.

I'll show them.
They're not going to do this to me.

- Honestly... Oh!
- I'm very much loyal...

- My creation.
- Never mind my creation.

- Where's the phone?
- Oh, my...

- What's this?
- Studio.

- I thought you'd wanna talk to Faulkin.
- Hello.

Never mind. I'll do the talking.

Now, now, now, Mona, dear, listen...

...you must realize your fans don't
want to see you in that sort of a role.

They expect more glamorous things
from you.

That picture probably
won't make a penny.

We're just making it for the prestige.

Prestige? Prestige?

Hasn't my name and my pictures
given you all the prestige you need?

Is this the treatment I get after giving
you the best years of my life?

I've worked to play that part.

I even went to the trouble
to read the book.

Well, every page that my part was on.
Prestige.

Haven't I held up one trash story
after another?

Haven't I acted with every dummy
you found that had a good set of teeth?

Haven't I?
Well, I'm through being the patsy.

I'm gonna start thinking
of Mona Marshall.

You let All-Star do your worrying
for you.

All-Star loves you.
We'll talk it over at the premiere tonight.

Premiere? Ha!
I'll be so far away from that premiere...

...you won't even be able
to reach me with an aeroplane.

Jonesy, pack the bags.

They're packed.

But...

Walton, come in here right away.
Trouble.

Get me Mona Marshall's apartment,
quick.

Hello, chief. Well, what's up?

- Marshall again?
- Yes, Marshall.

Well, what's wrong now?

She's not going to attend
the premiere tonight.

Ouch.

- Hello, Mona, dear.
- Miss Marshall ain't here, Mr. Faulkin.

She tore out of here as mad as a dog
with a tin can tied to its tail.

- Where'd she go?
- I don't know where. She just plain went.

She's gone, huh?

Another Marshall premiere without Marshall.
Fine thing.

- We'll send out a story she's sick.
- Sick?

What about the broadcast?
The press party at the Orchid Room?

Every star in town at the premiere
but the star of the picture.

She's got to be there.

It'll take a magician to find her.
You know Mona's tricks.

Yeah.

Well, I've got a couple myself.

Get me Casting.

Hello, Casting, this is Bernie Walton.

Yeah. Now, get this.

We need a double
for Mona Marshall and quick.

Get me every dame
who looks anything like her...

...and send them over to my office.

- Hello, Mr. Walton.
- Hello. Oh, lift your veil up.

- I'm kind of tall.
- No.

Do you mind stepping out, please?
That's all. Some other time. Sorry.

Come on inside a minute.
I want the boss to see you.

Maybe she took a clipper for Honolulu.

Step on it and call me back.
Mona. Never mind. Never mind.

I knew you'd...

- Oh, who's this?
- Right now, this is Mona Marshall.

- A few minutes ago she was...
- Virginia Stanton.

It's done with a flip of the wrist
and turn of the mirror.

- Well, what do I jump off of?
- Jump?

- You want me to double for Mona Marshall.
- Yeah.

That's all I've done
since I've been in this town.

Everything from riding a horse
to falling out of a plane.

You see, I'm the fool that rushes in
where Mona Marshall fears to tread.

Then this job will be a snap for you.

All you have to do
is to look like Marshall and enjoy.

- Wait a minute. What's the catch?
- There isn't any.

Marshall can't make her premiere
and she's got to.

- She's, uh, let us say, indisposed.
- I catch on. Temperament.

You're gonna be Mona
and you'll make an appearance.

There's $100 in it for you.
Will Mona Marshall be there?

She looks like Mona Marshall, all right,
but can she act like her?

- Can you?
- Oh, my thyroid.

Ha-ha! It's a cinch.
I'll be back in a minute.

This is amazing. Even her mannerisms.

Your resemblance to Mona Marshall
is astonishing.

You're telling me.
It's kept me out of pictures.

- Kept you out?
- Would you want to hire me?

Well, we can't very well have
two Mona Marshalls.

No one else can either.
That's why I'm working as a waitress.

Honey, you go to the
Makeup Department and see Mr. Malley.

- When he's through, I'll pick you up.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye, my dear. Good luck.

Well, am I a fixer or am I a fixer?

- Sounds all right, but what happens next?
- What do you mean?

Who's gonna take her to the premiere?
You're not figuring DuPrey?

That boulevardier from the Bronx?

That would be like broadcasting it
to the world.

- Well, then, who is gonna take her?
- I don't know.

Wait a minute. I've got it.

Boy meets girl. We just brought a kid on.
He's never seen Mona off the screen.

So he takes her to the premiere
and to the party.

And who knows the difference?

Get me the Hollywood Hotel.

We don't tip the kid off.

Hollywood Hotel. Good evening.

Ronnie Bowers? Just a minute.
Here's your party.

Hello, Mr. Walton.

Yeah. Well, I looked around a little bit
and mailed a few postal cards.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'm a little bit lonesome...

...but I'll be all right
when I get to work.

Mm-hm.

Hey, uh....

Hey, hold on, will you? There must be
something wrong with this phone.

Yeah, yeah. You kind of scared me
there for a minute.

I thought you said you wanted me
to take Mona Marshall to a premiere.

You did? You mean the big star?
The one that's in the pictures?

I don't know her. I don't know her.
Would she go with me?

She will? Oh, say, that's wonderful.

Yeah, well, what'll I wear?
Where does she live?

The Hollywood Hotel? Where's that? Oh, oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm here now, yeah.

Eight o'clock? Eight o'clock.
All right, all right, I'll be there.

Yeah. I gotta go now. I gotta go.

I gotta go take a bath.

Goodbye. Did you hear that?
That's wonderful. Did you hear that?

I'm taking Mona Marshall to the premiere.

The star in pictures.
Wait till the boys in the band hear this.

Have I got a clean collar?
Did I bring my suit? Oh, boy. Mona.

Oh, boy.

Come in, there ain't nobody here.
Everything worked out fine.

That's great.
Cleo, this is Miss Virginia Stanton.

- She's the spitting image.
- She'll be when I get through with her.

Hope so. This is Mr. Perc Westmore.
You've heard of him.

- How do you do?
- All right.

We might as well go into Mona's room
and get started.

- How long do you think it'll take you?
- Maybe an hour.

- You got everything?
- I think so.

If you haven't,
Cleo here will help you out.

Now, everything's been fixed.
I don't want you to worry about a thing.

Least of all, about Bowers.
He'll be a cinch for you to handle.

Don't forget that you're Mona Marshall.

I have a hard time remembering
I'm Virginia Stanton.

- Okay, you can go ahead now.
- Can we get started?

I've got to get to the theater.
I'll have the car in time.

- All right, Mr. Walton.
- Thanks.

Remember, nobody gets in but Bowers.

No.
You know I ain't never failed you yet.

I know. You're a good girl.
So long, everybody. I'll see you later.

Ooh, what a lot of makeup.

Let me see.

Well, let's highlight the cheeks
and we'll change the brow a little bit.

A little more rouge.
Mary, let me have those pictures.

Let's see.

That's the one I want. Right there.

Penthouse floor, sir.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, boy, uh,
where is Miss Marshall's apartment?

Straight ahead.

- Right there?
- Yes, sir.

Thanks.

Just come right in. Seat yourself.

- I'll tell Miss Marshall you're here.
- Thank you.

Tell Miss Marshall that
Alexander DuPrey is on his way up.

Yes, sir.

Miss Marshall's apartment, please.

- Hello.
- Mr. Alexander DuPrey is on his way up...

...to Miss Marshall's apartment.

He is? Oh, you gotta stop him.

He can't come up here. We ain't home.
Oh....

- What's the matter?
- It's a man. He's coming.

- Miss Marshall don't wanna see him.
- Tell him Marshall's out.

- He won't take "out" for no answer.
- Well, I'll tell him she's out.

Miss Marshall is out.

Miss Marshall is still out.

Now, see here. I'm Alexander DuPrey.

You've seen me in pictures.
What are you, a new servant?

- Where's Cleo?
- Cleo is out.

Miss Marshall is out. And you're out.

Why, you...

I'll tell Miss Marshall you called.

Oh, how do you do?

You're Mr. Bowers, aren't you?

Why, yes, yes.

- How do you do?
- Very well, thank you. And you?

Oh, I'm fine, I guess.

I was so pleased when I heard
you were to take me this evening.

Oh, I was so excited,
I forgot to eat my dinner.

Oh, I'm afraid you're going to be
awfully hungry.

Gosh, I couldn't eat now.

- Well, shall we go?
- Why, yes.

Oh, I forgot something.

- Oh, how lovely.
- Yes, they're flowers.

Oh, I guess you won't need these.

Oh, yes, I will.

I'm going to love wearing these.

Louella Parsons.

- Hello, Louella. Glad to see you.
- Hello, Bernie.

Looks like another great night
for All-Star.

- It sure does. I hope you enjoy it.
- Thank you so much.

- How are you, Eddie?
- How are you, Bernie?

Miss Marshall.

You look grand, honey.
Make a noise like a star, will you?

- Thank you.
- Darling, fine...

No, no autographs. Sorry.

- Say, who is that?
- I don't know.

- Why, that was Mona Marshall.
- Marshall. Mona...

Name sounds familiar.
That's my daughter. That's my name.

- Where are you going?
- It's a lie. I had my hand out.

- Fellow hit me, ran into me.
- Where's your ticket?

It wouldn't do you any good
if you did give me a ticket.

- The ticket for the show.
- Why didn't you tell me?

Oh, here. There's a ticket for the show.
There, your part, this is mine.

And here is Miss Mona Marshall...

...escorted by All-Star's latest
singing discovery, Mr....

- Hey, what's the kid's name?
- Ronnie Bowers.

- Ronnie Bowers.
- No. no.

They've been photographed
by cameramen.

I'm going to ask Miss Marshall
to say a few words.

Miss Marshall, would you say
a few words to our radio audience?

Hello. Hello, everybody. I wish you all
could be with me this evening...

...at this glorious premiere
of my latest picture, Glamour Girl.

I do hope you will enjoy the picture
as much as I enjoyed making it.

Oh, yes, you must meet my escort.

He's one of the nicest men
I've ever met in Hollywood...

...Mr. Ronnie Bowers.

Well, what shall I...?

Oh, well, this is all pretty exciting.
I hardly know what to say.

It's my first day in Hollywood
and I feel that...

And that was Ronnie Bowers,
ladies and gentlemen.

I see many more celebrities
coming down here.

I'm going to get them up to say hello.
I'm sure that you'll want to meet...

I hope you have as much fun
as I had making the picture. Hoo-hoo!

Mona. Mona.
At first I didn't recognize you.

My own daughter.
I never forget a face. Never.

I'll see you kids later
in the Orchid Room.

Wait.
The boys here wanna get a picture of you.

They do? Let the newsreel boys
take a couple of shots.

Sure, that'll be fine. It's too bad
they're using cameras instead of guns.

Oh, you're killing me. You're killing.
All right, boys, take a couple of shots.

Oh, look at that.

Good evening, Mona.

Boy, those autograph hounds
sure get in your hair.

Excuse us a minute
while we park our hats.

- Over here.
- Over here?

Yeah. Here we are.

Oh....

Gee, this is swell.

What's that, Mona?

I mean, the Orchid Room is too,
too divine this evening.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

- What do you think of it?
- This is...

- It's always crowded.
- It is? I wonder if we can get a table.

Oh, my dear Mr. Bowers...

...when Mona Marshall appears,
if they haven't got a table, they build one.

Oh, well, yeah.

Good evening, Miss Marshall,
Mr. Walton. This way, please.

- Miss Marshall.
- Beautiful.

It is.

It's for you. It's for you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

- Mona, you were great.
- Thank you.

Last scene was terrific.

- Really?
- Gowns were marvelous.

- How sweet.
- A sensation.

Hello, Mona, dear.
Grand success tonight.

Oh, uh, Mona, you know Louella Parsons,
don't you?

Oh, yes, Louella, my dear.
How are you, darling?

Fine. And you?

Splendid. Splendid.

Where have you been keeping yourself?
I haven't seen you for ages.

Why, I saw you this afternoon
in your apartment.

Oh, of course. Of course.
How time flies, doesn't it?

You know, I've been working so hard,
it isn't any wonder that I...

Oh, Mr. Bowers, shall we dance?

Oh, sure, I'd love to.
I mean, I'd be glad to, yeah.

- Oh, I'm so...
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, look... Mr. Walton.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, goodness.

I didn't see him.
I didn't see him, Mr. Walton.

- I'm awfully sorry.
- Not here. Not here.

- Are you all right? Come on.
- Perfectly all right, sir.

He's perfectly all right.

- I'm awfully sorry.
- Thank you.

Oh, don't thank me, thank you.
Thank you.

Never mind thanking him.

Get out there on the floor
before you do some real damage.

I guess I better. I'm awfully sorry.
I didn't see him down there.

- And you won't need this.
- No, I don't guess I will. All right.

Anybody home? Anybody home?

- Your hat, sir.
- My coat, please.

- Good evening, Mr. Marshall.
- Good evening.

- How do you do, sir?
- Hello. How are you?

- Here's your coat, sir.
- Oh, thank you very much.

- Here.
- Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's all right. That's it. Thank you.

- Hey, what about that coat?
- Yes, it's a bad fit.

- Bad fit?
- Too tight under the arms.

Not under my arms.
That's my coat and hat.

What are they doing on me?
Take it away. Take it away.

- Give me that coat.
- There you are.

Please, I'll help you, sir.

But, monsieur, please, your coat.

- What's the matter with my coat?
- Mr. Marshall, here it is.

Hoo-hoo! Oh....

Look at that. Way past my bedtime.
Had a wonderful time.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Oh, I do hope they don't take
any more pictures.

The excitement of the premiere
has made me more tired...

...and nervous than I realized.

Oh, you must be tired.
I never thought of that.

Is there someplace
that you can go and rest...?

Well, I can kind of sit down
and look at you.

That's a very good idea.

Well, let's go, shall we?

Isn't it nice to get away from the crowd?

Oh, being anywhere with you
is pretty exciting.

I guess the crowds
and the autograph hunters and stuff...

...must get on your nerves sometimes.

You're fed up with me
and everyone else.

Oh, no, it's grand being with you.

It's almost made me forget
a lot of things.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

- Boy, I'll never forget tonight.
- Why?

It's my first night in Hollywood
and being with you.

Especially being with you.
It just doesn't seem real.

- Maybe it isn't.
- Oh, it is with me.

You don't know it,
but I've made love to you many times.

I don't mean really, though.

I mean, like when people
watch a picture show...

...they always put themselves
in the actors' place.

- And now you are in the actor's place.
- Mm-hm.

Ooh....

Oh, it's cold.

- I love dunking my toes, don't you?
- Uh-huh.

Oh, I'm afraid I've embarrassed you.

Oh, no. Say, down in Arkansas,
where I come from...

...I was 18 years old
before I ever had on a pair of shoes.

Me for Arkansas.

Mr. Bowers, I can see that we have
a great deal in common.

I hope so. I'm afraid so far, though,
I haven't been very bright.

Gosh, you're a big celebrity
and you're beautiful.

You're glamorous.

- You got swell teeth.
- What?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all mixed up again.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.
I think you're kind of witty.

Oh, no, I'm not witty.
Would you believe I took Pelmanism...

...to give me some magnetism
to kind of sort of put myself across?

And so it really seems a pity

You put me at a total loss

I'm like a fish out of water

When I'm with you

Just like J.P. Morgan
Swinging it on the organ

Or Dizzy Dean with no ballyhoo

Every time that I'm with you

I'm like a fish out of water

When you're around

I'm like Eddie Cantor
Doing a Van Devanter

Or Colonel Lindbergh upon the ground

Whenever you're around

I feel so small

And I get red as a beet

I trip and fall

I'm all hands and feet

I'm quite a card
And a cutup around the boys

But you make me shut up
And lose my poise

It's a funny thing what love can do

I'm like a fish out of water

With you

Though I'm good at conversation

Though I've been around a lot

Though I make a showing
To keep the party going

When the party's not so hot

In spite of my sophistication

You've put me in an awful spot

I'm like a fish out of water

When I'm with you

Like Marion Talley
Doing a Rudy Vallee

Or Mickey Mouse as an ingénue

Every time that I'm with you

I'm like a fish out of water

When you're around

I'm like Ginger Rogers
Running the Brooklyn Dodgers

I'm on the most unfamiliar ground

Whenever you're around

My whole life through

I've always known what to say

But now with you

It all goes away

Exactly like Man O' War as an also-ran

Or like Sally Rand
If she lost her fan

You can make me feel

The same way too

I'm like a fish out of water

With you

Who are you? I want Fuzzy.

Fuzzy.

Fuzzy, where are you?

Fuzzy, where are you?

Hey, Fuzzy.

Hey, Fuzzy, wait for me. Wait.

Fuzzy.

Hey, how long you fellas been here?
Ha-ha.

Hey, Fuzzy, where are you?

- Oh, Fuzzy?
- He went that way.

Oh, there you are. I'm gonna get you.

Oh!

I'm gonna get you. Aa-ha-ha!

Now we can continue
our interesting talk.

What, again?

Cut it out, kid.

Cut it out, will you, kid?

I feel all wet

And it's no wonder I do

That's how I get

When I'm out with you

So if I act like a dummy and seem insane

And won't even come in out of the rain

It's a funny thing what love can do

I'm like a fish out of water with

There you are.

- You needn't bother. I'll take it in.
- Thank you, madame.

- Here's birdseed and coffee.
- Where's the paper?

Here. Wonder if there's anything
about the premiere.

The usual thing. I don't see why they
think my pictures are so important.

I've often wondered about that myself.

However, there are more important
things going on in the world.

There happens to be
a very serious war in China.

I haven't had a picture released there
in more than a year.

And there's another important
world event.

You know,
they tell me Russia no longer has a czar.

My dear, it's a wonder to me...

Oh!

What's the matter?
Did the czar show up?

- Well, what do you make out of that?
- What?

Look at it. Read it.

"Stars attend brilliant premiere
of Glamour Girl."

How do you like that?

Wait till I get back to that office.
I'll show them a thing or two.

I can't figure this out.
Who's this guy you're with?

Who's that he's with?
That's what I wanna know.

If you knew who he was,
you could find out who you were.

You were in Santa Barbara last night,
or did you walk in your sleep?

- If I did, it wouldn't have been to a show.
- Somebody impersonated you.

They can't get away with it.

- That's forgery.
- Yeah...

Who does that guy Faulkin
think he is anyway?

Pulling a trick like that.

There's a few choice remarks
I've been wanting to deliver to that crowd.

The place will be in flames
by the time I'm through with it.

- I'll show them.
- Yes.

Who do they think I am,
some fly-by-night girl?

- Yes.
- What?

If it doesn't rain,
the fight will be in the open.

The minute my back is turned,
they start playing with my personality.

Right on time.

- Mona, good morning. Have a nice trip?
- Don't "Good morning" me.

- What's the matter?
- Look.

"What's the matter?"
He wants to know what's the matter.

There I was in utter exclusion,
my nerves pounding at every pore.

All I wanted was a little rest,
rest and peace...

...to be away from it all.

When all of a sudden,
I saw this awful picture.

This girl, this nobody,
telling the world she's Mona Marshall.

A girl who doesn't bear
the slightest resemblance to me.

What? That girl's the image of you.
We fooled everybody.

She didn't fool me,
and neither did you, Bernie Walton.

A handkerchief.

And that ruffian with his gang
of armed hoodlums.

You think it possible for one man
to do a thing like this?

Well, yes, if he was under 70.

You allow my home to be overrun
with gangsters.

Think of my family.
They might have been murdered in bed.

But, Mona, dear...

I refuse to work in the same studio
with that jailbird.

You refuse? And what about me?

Is my life and my reputation
of no importance?

Does it matter now that you have
this marvelous double?

She's so good at fooling everybody,
she can fool them at the box office.

I demand that this impostor
and her crooning gangster be fired.

- They should be deported.
- Sent to the country they came from.

- But, Mona, they're perfectly innocent.
- We've got a contract with Bowers.

All right, nobody cares anymore
about Mona Marshall.

I'll step aside.

Oh, don't protest.

I know my career's over...

...practically in my teens.

There'll be a few fans remember me.

I suppose.

Pay attention.

I liked you better in Exiled Lovers.

Oh, there's nothing left for me now
but a monastery and my memories.

- Yes?
- Mr. Bowers to see Mr. Faulkin.

Bowers? Have him wait.

Oh. You're not asking the important
Mr. Bowers to wait, are you?

I mean nothing.
Why don't you ask him to come in?

If you do, I don't face another camera
on this lot and neither does Alex.

- Did you enjoy the premiere last night?
- Oh, yes. Very much.

- I took Miss Marshall.
- Yes, I know. I saw you there.

Isn't she beautiful?

She's adorable.

Mona, darling.

- I'll never forgive you.
- For what?

For not blacking both his eyes.

They've decided to pay you off
for the remainder of your contract.

You'll find the cashier's office
down the hall.

Just mark it down to experience, kid.
Good luck.

Mona Marshall's apartment, please.

Hey, Bowers. Wait a minute.
I wanna see you.

Hello, Jonesy?
How's Bernhardt this morning?

Hope she hasn't forgotten
she's laying a cornerstone.

I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee.

Listen, stick a firecracker under Marshall
and get her moving.

I'm your manager,
watch your p's and q's.

Look at me once in a while.

- How are you, Bowers?
- Hello.

How do you expect a guy to feel,
the way you been tossing him around?

Crawl back to your rat hole.

What are you doing
with 5-and-10-cent sport?

- He's my manager.
- The manager.

Maybe after what happened yesterday,
I better have one.

Don't blame you for being sore.
It's part of the game.

Anything can happen.
Come and have coffee.

You too, chiseler. It's free.
You worry too much.

He got you thrown out of the studio.

Maybe he's plotting to get you
thrown out of town, and I ain't leaving.

- Hello, Mr. Walton. Glad to see you.
- Hello.

- This way.
- Hi, Frenchie.

- How's the floorshow?
- This is the coffee shop.

Coffee shop? Give me a tea.
That'll cross them up.

Ha-ha. That's a corker.

- Hats, please.
- Thank you.

Here, take this.

Last time I watched it,
somebody stole my dinner.

- Virginia?
- Yes, sir.

- This table, please.
- Yes, sir.

When it's all written out like this,
I just can't make up my mind.

- Your order, please.
- Why, I...

I'll have some...

Hello, Mona.

Hey, Walton, what is this, a gag?

May I have your order, please?

Orange juice and coffee will do.
What'll you have?

Say, what is this,
another publicity stunt?

- Wait a minute.
- Wait, nothing.

Last time I saw her,
I got my face slapped and lost my job.

Let's get out
before we get thrown in jail.

- Let him go.
- You don't understand.

Give me that hat.

Strongheart, behave.
Now, Baby, walk straight.

Hurry up. Everybody's watching.

Who, me? Hoo-hoo!

Time marches on.

I told you to watch out for that guy.

There's one mistake we made.
We should have eaten first.

Mona, Mona, what is this?

- Just a minute ago, you were a waitress.
- Waitress?

Hey, wait a minute, that's my client.
Oh, hey, she hit me too.

Behave. Behave.

Oh, hey.

Hey, where's the dog?

Baby, Strongheart,
come back to Mommy.

Hey, look here.
Who was I out with last night?

You were out with that waitress.
If you'd waited, I was gonna tell you.

- What's her name?
- Virginia Stanton.

She used to double for Marshall.

Oh, then it was Mona Marshall
who slapped me.

- Oh, it wasn't Joe Louis.
- It felt like it.

All's fair in love and war
in the Publicity Department.

Hey, Walton, you know, prosperity
hasn't changed you a bit. Ha-ha.

You're still a rat.

- Back again, sir? Alone?
- What do I look like, a crowd?

What are you, crazy or something?
Blown your topper?

- Oh, Virginia. I've got to talk to you.
- Please, I'm busy.

I knows but I'm awfully sorry
I made that scene.

- You're making another one.
- You must know how I felt.

We went out and we had fun.
Next time I saw you, you slapped my face.

- The eggs go to the lady.
- Excuse me.

- What? I never hit you.
- I know that now.

Mona Marshall hit me.

- Cream?
- Sugar?

- One lump.
- One lump. Yes. And you?

- Four, yeah.
- The trouble is that you're starstruck.

While you thought I was Mona,
I was fine.

When you found out I was a waitress,
you lost interest.

I never did any such thing.
I've always loved waitresses.

- I mean, I love waitresses.
- What?

- I mean, I love a waitress.
- I love my job. Go away.

Please, don't talk business
during business hours.

- I'm sorry.
- Go away, you romance wrecker.

This boy loves this girl.
Should it matter where he loves her?

Do little birdies look where they are
when they make love?

Love, love, love.

Love is a beautiful thing.

And you think pots and pans
and scrambled eggs...

...and bad coffee are important.

Young man, I congratulate you
and this beautiful girl.

And phooey on this peasant.

I guess... I guess I better go, huh?

- Yes, please. Go.
- I'll see you later. Goodbye.

Listen, Mr. Sight-Seer, I still juggle trays
at that diamond-studded beanery.

I've got to get some sleep,
or I'll be losing my job too.

- You promised to show me the town.
- I pointed out the Cocoanut Grove...

- ...Trocadero and the Brown Derby.
- I was looking at you.

Oh, silly.

Say, do you realize
we're on a dead-end street?

- How in the world did I do that?
- By looking at me instead of the road.

- Are you satisfied?
- No, and I never will be.

I'd still rather look at you.
Where are we now?

We're still sight-seeing, I suppose.

Yes, right over that hill, Mr. Bowers,
is the famous Hollywood Bowl.

- The Hollywood Bowl?
- Mm-hm.

- Say, can we get in?
- At midnight?

Why not? It's the best time to get seats.
We won't be bothered with shows.

- Where's the entrance?
- Highland Avenue.

You can't get in. Gates are closed.

- Well, let's climb over the hill.
- What?

- You promised to show me the town.
- Very well, if you insist.

I always wanted to see
the Hollywood Bowl.

Oh, lady, this is something.

And this, Mr. Bowers,
is the Hollywood Bowl.

A person singing on that stage
way down there...

...can be heard all the way up here?

I can prove it. Stay right where you are.

- Well, wait a minute.
- You stay there.

Yoo-hoo! Can you hear me?

I can hear you,
but I can hardly see you.

I can see you.

You look like the man in the moon.

I'll remember this moment

I'll wrap this picture in a dream

For, silhouetted in the moonlight

How sweet you seem

Through the long night of waiting

I'll hardly know that you are gone

For, silhouetted in the moonlight

You will linger on

Your actions, your expression

Will fill my heart

And thrill my heart

Every single moment we're apart

So I'll never be lonely

Though there be shadows everywhere

For, silhouetted in the moonlight

You'll be there

- Wonderful.
- Oh, thank you, monsieur.

Well, here we are. Your future factory.

I hope so. But something tells me
we shouldn't have bought this car.

- It ain't paid for yet, is it?
- That's the trouble.

Didn't I tell you to stop worrying?
I'm the manager.

We're going inside, talk business...

...we're not gonna take the first thing
that comes along.

We're gonna play hard to get.
Come on, kid.

This guy's another Caruso.
He's going places.

What's he stopping here for?

- What, getting ignorant on me?
- I'll call him when I need him.

He said he'd call us when he needs us.
All right. Come on.

Sorry, we're not making any musicals
right now.

We can take a hint.

Radio and opera. They're all after him.

Let radio and opera catch him.
We're not using singers.

Well, how about me?
You know, I do an impersonation.

When there are blue skies...

No. No.

- You ought...
- Come on.

There goes my last chance
of ever getting a job with a band.

- Oh, bands are passé anyhow.
- Imagine only getting $10 for a saxophone.

You should've brought a piano. Ha-ha-ha.

I like that new tune, Benny.

- Oh, you do, huh? That's swell.
- Oh, here's a mailbox.

Wait. I'll help you.

Ronnie. Hey, Benny and Alice,
look, there's Ronnie.

- Hey there.
- Oh, Ronnie.

Hey, Benny.

Hey, give me that. It might be a touch.

- There's Ronnie.
- Hey, Ronnie.

- Ronnie. It's good to see you.
- How are you?

- Ronnie.
- Hello, Georgia, Benny.

How's the moving-picture star?

You don't know what a kick
we get out of seeing you.

It's swell seeing you.
What are you doing out here?

The band's opening in the Orchid Room
at Hollywood Hotel.

- How's that for a break?
- Hey, that's great.

- Hi, kid, how are you?
- Come on.

You're breaking the traffic laws.
Move along.

We're citizens. What are you doing?

Ronnie, we'll have a swell time.
I'd love to see the studio.

We'd sure like to see the Brown Derby.
How about taking us all there for lunch?

- Uh, well...
- No. No need to bother him.

He can't.
He's making a picture on location.

Here's your car. Here comes his car.

- There's his car.
- What a beaut.

- He's gotta go on location.
- Come to our opening tomorrow night.

Maybe we can sing a song together again.
Just for old times' sake?

Well, well, I...

He's in the picture business. He's gotta
go on location in the High Sierras.

He's making a North Pole and a South Pole,
you know.

Everything wholesale...

Hey, there goes your car.

- You telling us?
- Goodbye.

Ronnie. Say, Ronnie, look.
When'll we see you again?

There you are, Mike.

Hey, ain't this murder? That Virginia
fixed us up all right, didn't she?

At least we get fresh air.

There's fresh air here,
but there's no fresh air in that kitchen.

Right now there's a rat sitting
in the icebox with his arms folded.

I ain't kidding, on the level.
Oh, it's you.

Here.

Wash them. Don't throw them away.

All right, I'll wash them.

Or maybe you'd like me to do it...

...so you won't get your lily-white hands
all rough and red.

That's all I do, is wash dishes.
People eat off of them again.

They get fat, go on a diet.
Get thin, anemic.

Then start eating.
Then I start washing the dishes again.

It don't make sense, I'm telling you.
It don't make any...

Those dishes come out of your salary.

Thank you.

Mike, have someone take that out
to the fat man for me.

Okay.

- Hello.
- How's it going?

Easy on the head, tough on the feet.
I'll be through in a while.

- Okay, I'll wait.
- How about a double-chocolate malted?

Okay, kid.

For our next number,
ladies and gentlemen...

...we're gonna play a tune that featured
Ronnie Bowers when he was with the band.

Ronnie's up on location
making a big picture.

He couldn't be with us tonight,
but we all hope he's listening in.

Oh, Columbus was the discoverer
Of America

And he sailed the sea in 1492

But the good Queen Isabella

Found a more attractive fella

And Columbus wound up in the jug-a-roo

Let that be a lesson to you

Now, everybody meets his Waterloo

Oh, he wasn't too big to end up
Behind the eight ball

And remember, buddy
There's a lot o' room for you

Ronnie Bowers once was a singer
In Benny Goodman's band

And he came to Hollywood to be a star

But his screen career was halted

By a double-chocolate malted

Now his spotlight
Is the headlight on a car

Oh, let that be a lesson to you

Everybody meets his Waterloo

I wasn't too big to end up
Behind the eight ball

And remember, honey, string along
And you will be there too

What's the difference if you're a waiter
Or you're a movie star?

Don't you know that
I'm all for you anyhow?

That's the kind of girlfriend I am
In the words of Omar Khayyám

Give me ham on rye
A lemonade and thou

Oh, let that be a lesson to you

Now, things are not so tough in Waterloo

You really don't have to end up
Behind the eight ball

Give a good kiss, honey
And watch it roll away from you

Hey, Bowers,
that ain't no part of Callahan service.

Oh, let that be a lesson to you

It is.

That shows you
What the old love bug will do

Yeah, kind of looks as though
she's putting you...

...behind the eight ball, eh, buddy?

What do I care, Pop?
If there's room enough for baby too

Pardon me, young man
Will you bring me a soda right away?

Why, sure.

You can make our order
Just the same as Pa's

That'll be one, two, three, four drinks?

Kids, you'll have to pay for your drinks

Well, in that case, bring his drink
And three more straws

Oh, let that be a lesson to you

Oh, yeah?

I can see your Pa knows what to do

Says you

You're never too big to end up
Behind the eight ball

So remember, buddy
There's still a lot o' room for you

- And you
- And you

- Who, me?
- Yeah

There's still a lot o' room for you

Bowers, stop that singing.

More. More.

Callahan service.

Oh, let that be a lesson to you

Certainly

Everybody meets his Waterloo

Certainly

You're never too big to end up
Behind the eight ball

So remember, buddy
There's a lot o' room for you

Mr. Samson once was the mightiest man
Upon the Earth

He could lift a building
Forty times his size

But his muscles couldn't save him

'Cause he let Delilah shave him

When she got through
He couldn't lift his eyes

Now, why don't you let that
Be a lesson

A lesson to you?

Please, hear me

Just remember what a gal can do

If little Delilah put him

Put him behind that eight ball

Why don't you please remember, buddy
La-da-la-da

Please remember, buddy
La-da-la-da

That's what I'm going to do to you

De-de-de-de-da-da-da-da

I'm going to do to you, yeah

Listen, sister, don't you
Remember Jonah and the whale?

Yes, the whale thought he was
Quite an eater too

I don't know about your figure

But the whale's was even bigger

And he found out he bit off
More than he could chew

Oh, hallelujah
Let that be a lesson to you

There's nothin' that the whale
He could do

He wasn't too big
To end up with indigestion

Take it easy, sister

You're gonna be the same way too
Oh!

Take it easy, sister

You're gonna be the same way too, yeah

Oh, Columbus did discover our America

He sailed the sea in 1492

What a hero

But the good Queen Isabella

She found a more attractive fella

And Columbus wound up in the jug-a-roo

Oh, let that be a lesson to you
Yeah, you

Everybody meets his Waterloo

He wasn't too big to end up

Behind the eight ball

And remember, buddy
There's still a lot o' room for you

Oh, let that be

Da-da-da

A lesson to you

Everybody meets his Waterloo

He wasn't too big to end up
Behind the eight ball

Oh, don't forget it

You'll regret it

Gonna save a place for you

Room for 200

Room for 5000

Room for 10 million

Room for 12 billion

Still a lot of room for you

Hey. Come here.

- Oh, excuse me, honey. I'll see you later.
- All right.

- Yes, sir.
- You sing all right.

- Thank you.
- Did you think of going into pictures?

I've thought about it. That's far as I got.

- My name's Walter Kelton.
- Glad to know you. Ronnie Bowers.

Now, listen, Bowers,
I'm directing a musical over at All-Star.

I can use your voice.
That is, if you're interested.

You mean... You mean
you wanna hire me for a picture?

Right. Get me a glass of orange juice,
a chicken sandwich on rye toast.

Yes, sir.

Here we go, Cyril. Look out there.

Ha-ha! He missed them. I couldn't help it.
He missed.

Here, what's the matter with you?
You drinking or something?

Hey, those dishes come out
of your salary.

You know you make more money off
these dishes than you do food?

Hey, Fuzzy.
A great thing just happened.

- Did the price of dishes go down?
- No, no.

Walter Kelton, director of All-Star,
just gave me a job.

- He ordered a chicken on rye.
- Ordered chicken on...

- The moving-picture guy?
- I gotta get his order now.

- Here. You gonna call me, right?
- Hey. Hey. Hey.

Virginia. I'm all set in pictures.
I'm all set.

Walter Kelton, All-Star director,
gave me a part in a picture.

- He ordered juice and chicken sandwich.
- On toast?

Yeah. Yeah. On toast, rye.
What? I'm gonna be in pictures.

- What are you gonna play, a waiter?
- No. I'm gonna sing.

There's his card.
Walter Kelton, director, All-Star Pictures.

Didn't I tell you?
Isn't that swell?

- If he sticks with me, we're going places.
- We're gonna go places.

Imagine what'll happen
when I get working this noodle.

Wait.
Wait till I bawl this Callahan guy out.

- Why don't you tell him? Come on, huh?
- Just a minute. A minute.

As an old hand at this business, I suggest
maybe you are building up to a letdown.

- What do you mean?
- You have this job.

It isn't much, but you get paid.

Before either of you say anything
to Callahan, wait till tomorrow.

Hey, what are you trying to do,
give the kid an inferiority complex?

I just happened to have a long talk
with the director...

...and the studios expect big things
from him.

Once before they expected
great things of you...

...and the next day you were O-U-T,
pronounced "fired" to you.

Virginia, don't try and change
the subject, because...

- Ahem.
- Look out.

Excuse me for intruding,
I hate to break up this little tête-à-tête...

...but the customers are waiting.

- Will you get those trays moving?
- Here.

What do you mean, trying to strike a lady?
You ought to be ashamed.

Hey, let me ask you a question,
curly-locks.

Are we men or are we mice?

- You got me there.
- Yeah?

He's not carrying no more trays.
I ain't washing no more dishes.

- You get two new waiters. We're quitting.
- You're fired.

- Virginia. Virginia. Wait a minute.
- Ronnie, you're a fool.

Now, wait a minute. After all,
all I got is a chance to go in pictures.

- I guess she's mad.
- Let's get out of here.

Got plenty of work tomorrow.

We shouldn't have bought these suits
until we got my first paycheck.

You're gonna be an important guy.
Gotta dress the part.

I hope so, but having that 100 bucks
to pay tonight worries me.

What are you worrying about?

We'll get an advance
or you won't chirp a note.

Here they are. Here's the set.
They're getting ready to make a shot.

Quiet. Get this camera over here
and put the dolly on the track.

Let's have the music.

Sam, start your song. Action.

Gone are the days

No, no, dear.
Let me explain to you.

Yes.

My child, you've got to suffer.
You've got to feel it from your heart.

Your lover is going away.
He may never return.

Don't you understand?
Right from the heart.

All right. Go ahead and suffer.
Let me see it.

All right.

That's fine, Mona. All right, DuPrey,
that's your cue to come on.

- Lucy.
- Bob.

- Goodbye, honey. Mammy. Tom.
- Goodbye, Master Roberts.

Remember, Tom, I'm depending on you
to take care of Missy Lucy while I'm away.

Yes, sir, Master Roberts.

I'll protect her with every drop of blood
there is in this old black body of mine.

I know you will, Tom.

Oh.... I can't let you go, my darling.

But she has let me go.
It doesn't make sense.

Don't leave him.
Stay there in the embrace.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I can't let you go, my darling.
I may never see you again.

There, there, there, honey.
Dry your tears.

I wanna leave you
with a smile on your face.

Listen, they're singing.

Walk with me to the gate, honey.

You know, they ought to put this picture
on the shelf and release DuPrey.

I'm coming

Cut it. Cut it.

Who is that monkey over there?

Come on. Get up. What's the big idea?

Mr. Kelton. Some makeup, huh?
Some makeup. You know who I am?

- Mona's father. Uncle Tom.
- Get off the set.

What? Here she comes.

Don't tell her. Make her guess a while.

Make her guess.

Father. Father.
What is all this ridiculous nonsense?

Oh, Missy,
don't let them sell me down the river.

Don't let Simon Legree beat me no more.
I pick my cotton by the bale.

Don't let them sell me down the river.
Oh, no. Oh, no.

Lunch. We gotta re-take the whole scene.

Lunch, everybody. Back in one hour.

You go home.
I'll do the acting for this family.

Your lunch, Mr. Kelton.

- Mr. Drew.
- Thank you.

- Hi, Kelton. Well, there he is.
- Hello, Mr. Kelton.

You asked me to drop in this morning
and see you about a part in a picture.

You remember me, don't you?
From the drive-in last night?

- Oh, yes.
- Certainly you remember him.

He's another Caruso. I'm the manager.

I'm not gonna charge you much dough.

- But the second picture...
- The second.

- Oh, yeah. Drew?
- Yes, sir.

This is Bowers, the singer
I was telling you about.

- Hello.
- Glad to know you.

How soon can you arrange
to see the music?

We could do it right now.

- How many songs is he gonna sing?
- Three.

Three? Say, that's swell.
What kind of a part do I play?

- You don't play any kind of a part.
- Huh?

No. We just use your voice.
You don't appear in the picture.

The picture's a musical.

DuPrey can't sing
and we wanna dub your voice in for his.

I don't even appear on the screen?

That's right. We just make a record
of your voice.

When we shoot the scene, DuPrey just
goes through the motions of singing.

When the picture comes out, the audience
will think DuPrey is singing, huh?

- That's right.
- Wait. I happen to be the manager.

What are you doing,
giving us the shuffle?

Wait a minute.
What's the matter with you guys?

Nothing, only that I thought I was gonna
get a part in the picture.

You're not gonna get a part.

You get $100 for singing those songs.

- Take it or leave it.
- It's better than juggling trays.

I'd like to do it. Only thing I thought...

Take him over to the studio,
have him see Forbes.

And if this distinguished manager
gets in the way, call the studio cops.

Yes, sir. Boys, out this way.

Okay. I get it. I get the hint.

Go ahead. Drink your milk, bottle and all.
Ha-ha. Wise guy. Come on.

Hollywood Hotel. Good morning.

Benny Goodman?
He's rehearsing in the Orchid Room...

...and can't be disturbed.
You're welcome.

All right, boys, that's all.

Don't forget, let's be on time tonight.

I've hitched my wagon to a star

That lucky little star

That watches over you

And now no ties can bind me

I'll go where you go

I've left the world behind me

And I want the world to know

If it wants me it can find me

In your afterglow

I've tied my heartstrings to a dream

That lucky little dream

That introduced me to you

I've made my heart a guiding chart

To lead me where you are

I've hitched my wagon to a star

Doesn't Alexander's voice just thrill you?

He makes the goose pimples run up
and down my spine.

Let's get out.
I can't even call my voice my own.

Yeah. Murder. That guy ruins your voice.

- Come on, why don't you stand up?
- Watch where you're going.

- Who said that?
- I did.

Oh, I thought it was you.

- Mona.
- Yes, dear.

Have you seen Louella?
I wonder if she liked the picture.

There she is.

- Oh, hello, Louella.
- Oh, hello, Louella.

- How are you, darling?
- Mona.

I'm so glad to see you.

Alex, why did you keep it a secret?

What a voice.
I didn't know you could sing.

Yes, divinely.

Why didn't you tell me he could sing?

- Well, dear, I was...
- You see, Louella...

...I didn't want to bewilder my public
by showing my talents at once.

I felt my acting would be sufficient.
Thank you.

Now, when I feel the public are ready,
I give them my singing.

Let's tell the world.

You're both to be my guests on
the Hollywood Hotel program Friday night.

- Friday night in the Orchid Room?
- Yes.

That'll be splendid. Alex can sing
the numbers from his picture.

- Of course he can.
- I will be only too delighted, Louella.

Well, goodbye. Congratulations, Mona,
and don't let him lose that wonderful voice.

Don't worry. He can't.

- Goodbye.
- Good night, Louella.

Come on, girls. Let's go now.

What's the joke?

So you're going to sing on the radio?
How nice. With whose voice?

With whose voice? Why, with my...

I can't sing.

Aren't you a little late
in discovering that?

What'll I do?

Something could happen to your throat.

- You might try cutting it.
- Yes.

I pay my publicity department
thousands a year.

What good does it do me?
Can't keep DuPrey quiet.

- That guy needs a muzzle.
- I don't want wisecracks. I want action.

DuPrey can't sing,
and he's gotta sing on that show.

- Who's gonna do it, you?
- Don't get excited.

We'll get the guy whose voice we used
in the picture.

Oh. But we can't. What about the mob
that watches the program?

Easy. DuPrey gets temperamental
and has to sing from another studio.

Oh, boy, I'm a genius.

Never mind being a genius. This fella
that sings for DuPrey, where is he?

- I don't know where he is.
- What? You don't know...

Now, don't get excited, B.L.

- Yes?
- Miss Stanton to see you, sir.

- Stanton? What does...?
- Virginia Stanton. I sent for her.

The singer's girlfriend.
She'll know.

- Send her in.
- She's the girl who doubled for Marshall.

Bowers fell in love with her.
I couldn't find Bowers, I called her.

Hello, Virginia.

- Did you want to see me?
- Yes.

Come on in here.
We wanna talk to you a minute.

How do you do?
Where's...? What's his name?

- Ronnie Bowers. We're looking for him.
- What do you want?

He has to sing
on the Hollywood Hotel program.

Oh, that's wonderful.
What about DuPrey?

He'll be there, but, Miss Stanton,
Mr. DuPrey cannot sing...

...in spite of the contrary impression
that he has given press and public.

- So?
- So we want Bowers...

...to sing for DuPrey, incognito,
so to speak.

Oh.

- For how much?
- The usual, 100 bucks.

- Not enough.
- Two hundred.

You're not even warm.

- Three hundred.
- No.

- Four hundred.
- No.

- All right, $500.
- Say, whose money are you spending?

- Is it a deal?
- No, it isn't.

- What would you...?
- We can get together.

- If we could only find Ronnie.
- You don't know where he is?

Don't worry. Maybe we'll find him.

You'll have to find him. If DuPrey sings
on the air, I'm gonna stop breathing it.

Attention all cars:

Bulletin from the Missing Persons Bureau.
Be on the lookout for Ronnie Bowers.

- Come on, Fireworks, step on it.
- Stop yelling. Here we are.

- Thanks.
- All right. Get in before you get arrested.

A corker.
Get in before you get arrested. A pip.

Be on the lookout for Ronnie Bowers.
Age, 26...

Hey, that's a nice radio you got
in your car.

...sings and plays saxophone.

- Hey, do you hear that?
- What?

You're still missing.
Think it's time to find yourself?

- I like it.
- It won't hurt to find out what's going on.

- Maybe somebody left you a legacy.
- All I wanna be left is alone.

Of course I won't, Fuzzy.
Not a word. But why?

You know how he is.

He's got an overdose of pride,
especially where you're concerned.

Okay, Virginia.

Hey, Ronnie.

Ronnie. Everything is all right.
You got nothing to worry about...

Do you two have to keep talking
all the time?

You should be lecturers, not waiters.

If you don't like us,
what'd you hire us back for?

You're the only two half-wits
that'll work for me a second time.

I'm a public-spirited citizen.

And I'm trying to keep you deadheads
off the relief roll.

My good man. My host. Landlord.
Landlord. Landlord. Here.

- All right.
- Here you are.

Come on. Come on. Come on.
Take your time.

Hey, what do you want, Paul Revere?

I want two double-malted milks.
Plenty of shake.

One for me
and one for Clarence, the horse.

Hello, Fuzzy.
Thanks for calling me. Where is he?

Wait.
He's back there washing dishes.

You know, Callahan thought it best we
change jobs, but it's no good for me at all.

- Oh, hey. Cut it out, will you?
- Ha-ha-ha. Hey, that lady's here.

- Oh, hello.
- Hello, mister.

- Some people are awfully stubborn.
- Oh, yeah?

Did I ever tell you dishwashers
fascinate me?

- Yeah?
- Even when they do stupid things...

- ...like hiding out on me.
- You were right. I was wrong.

Nobody likes to admit his girl
has more sense.

I'm too smart to ever let you admit that.

I have big business and glad tidings.

Come here a moment, won't you?
Come on, Ronnie.

- Ronnie, I have wonderful news for you.
- Yeah? What?

You're going on
the Hollywood Hotel broadcast.

- For money?
- No. Cigar coupons.

That's great, honey. But what for?

- For Love & Glory, and a few bucks.
- Oh, no.

I happen to be the manager. Never mind.
He's gonna get his usual $100.

- We're going to get 500.
- That's all right.

- No.
- Five hundred dollars?

A few songs?
They'll get DuPrey to sing it.

They won't unless he sings it in a bathtub.
The price is $1000.

The producer himself
don't get that kind of money.

- He can't sing.
- This is an out-and-out stickup.

- What's the matter?
- What if it is? The worm is turned, $1000.

Hooray!

- A song.
- A song. Oh, both of you are crazy.

Wait a minute.
Isn't DuPrey gonna be on that program?

Well, yes, but you know DuPrey
can't sing and All-Star thought that...

- Oh, I see, All-Star?
- Yes.

If All-Star thinks I'm gonna sing
for DuPrey again, they're thinking wrong.

Don't think anything about it.

Keep your mind on the $2000
and maybe they'll pay it.

Virginia, let's tiptoe away.
Maybe he'll fall asleep.

- When he wakes up, he'll be all right.
- No, I won't.

If my voice is used again,
my face goes with it.

- What do you want?
- What's going on?

- What's the matter?
- I'll tell you.

- He won't let DuPrey use his voice again.
- I wouldn't let him use my razor.

It isn't sharp enough.

You're a big help.
Ronnie, you need the money.

I need my self-respect more.

The boy is right.
Let's hatch a conspiracy. Come on.

- A conspiracy?
- A conspiracy.

Hey, look, look.
I got a great idea. Come here.

I think something like this
will suggest a sore throat.

- Very nice indeed, sir.
- Thank you.

Miss Marshall just called.

- Why didn't you let me talk to her?
- She seemed in a hurry.

She said she'd pick you up in her car.

Then hurry up. Let's get dressed.
Get my tails and things. You know.

- Mona, darling.
- Hello, Alex.

- A new car, isn't it, dear?
- I have it on approval.

I wanted to see what you thought of it.

Something to carry the laundry in,
you know.

It's very nice,
perhaps something more elaborate...

...all white, for instance,
would be more fitting your position.

This broadcast
should be very interesting.

I've never thought of radio before
as a means of projecting my art.

It is frightening to think
millions of people over the world...

...stopping at their work
to listen to my voice.

And, of course, yours too, darling.

Just fancy,
they'll even be hearing it in Siberia.

- You should be very popular there.
- Yeah.

Hadn't we better be starting back?
It's 5:00, and I...

Uh, we go on the air at 6.

Good evening.

This is Ken Niles welcoming you
to Hollywood Hotel.

Tonight is a gala night
in the Orchid Room...

...for Louella Parsons has as her guests
those two popular screen stars:

Mona Marshall and Alexander DuPrey...

...who will preview scenes
from their latest picture, Love & Glory.

But more about that later on.

Now, let's get on with the show.

Tonight, the Orchid Room bids au revoir
to Benny Goodman...

...and a welcome to Raymond Paige
and his orchestra...

...who are back after vacation.

Thank you, Ken,
and thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

And, now, spotlight
for our own Jerry Cooper.

Jerry sings for the first time on the air
a lovely ballad:

"Silhouetted in the Moonlight."

You're on the air, Jerry.

Thank you, Ken.

A beautiful song calls
for a beautiful girl.

And so I've persuaded that charming singer
of songs, Miss Alice Craine, to join me.

I'll remember this moment

I'll wrap this picture in a dream

For, silhouetted in the moonlight

How sweet you seem

Through the long night of waiting

I'll hardly know that you are gone

For, silhouetted in the moonlight

You'll linger on

Your actions, your expression

Oh, they fill my heart

And thrill my heart

Every single moment we're apart

So I'll never be lonely

Though there be shadows everywhere

For, silhouetted in the moonlight

You'll be there

Your actions, your expression

Will fill my heart

And thrill my heart

Every single moment we're apart

So I'll never be lonely

Though there be shadows everywhere

For, silhouetted in the moonlight

You'll be there

You're listening
to the Hollywood Hotel program.

This is
the Columbia Broadcasting System.

Mona, did you hear that?

Your clock is wrong.
It's past 6 already. What'll we do?

We won't do anything.
I don't believe we've ever met, Mr. DuPrey.

- I'm Virginia Stanton.
- What?

April-fooled in September. Hoo-hoo!

You're an impostor.
This is kidnapping. I'll call the police.

Kidnapped?
You been free since you been in this car.

And you can get out
whenever you wanna.

- I wanna get out of here right now.
- You do? Go ahead.

The whole road is yours.

Take care of your throat.
It gets awfully windy here.

That ain't the wind. That's Alex.
Hoo-hoo!

Ha-ha.

Ladies and gentlemen, Raymond Paige...

...who gives us his own special arrangement
of a Russian gypsy folk song, "Dark Eyes."

Take it away, Raymond.

Eyes so dark and bright

Bow

Light my way tonight

Bow

Into lands of love

Bow

Where we'll find delight

Where all sorrow's gone

Where love reigns alone

Where I'll be with you

My dark eyes

Now we come to the highlight
of our entertainment.

Presenting the originator
of the Orchid Room...

...the first lady of Hollywood,
Louella Parsons.

Thank you, Ken.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is certainly a star-studded evening
in the Orchid Room.

One of the brightest stars is our own guest
of honor, Mona Marshall.

Due to sudden complications,
Alexander DuPrey will not appear...

...with Miss Marshall, as we announced.

However, Mr. DuPrey's role will be sung
and acted by a promising young man...

...a boy I know you're just going to love:
Mr. Ronnie Bowers.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I take pleasure in presenting...

...Mona Marshall and Ronnie Bowers
in scenes from Love & Glory.

"The time is 1862.

The Civil War has already been in progress
for one year.

We find Lucy O'Mara, a Southern belle,
bidding a tearful goodbye...

...to Captain Robert Cutler,
who is rejoining his regiment at the front."

Miss Lucy, I'm powerful sorry
I have to leave you, but I can't stay.

Duty calls.

Captain Cutler, sir,
this breaks my heart...

...but I wouldn't have you
act no other way.

Hurry, Fuzzy, the program's half over.

Don't worry. We'll be there in time
to get the Yankees out the trenches.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hoo-hoo!

I've tied my heartstrings to a dream

That lucky little dream

That introduced me

- That boy's all right.
- A fine time to discover it.

You had him under contract
for $100 a week and fired him.

- Get him back.
- Okay. But not for $100 a week.

All right. Not for $1000 a song, either.

I've hitched my wagon to a star

Virginia. Oh, oh.

Excuse me a minute, will you?

Virginia. Virginia.
Oh, it worked. It worked.

- It worked.
- They're calling for you.

Let me go. You've got to go back.

Oh, Miss Marshall, this is Miss Stanton,
the girl that looks like you.

Thousands of girls think so,
and where are they?

They're having their faces changed.

How dare you go around
with a face like mine?

- Why don't you have it copyrighted?
- It is.

For years, my face has been on the sidewalk
in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater.

Why don't you leave it there?

Bowers, hurry.
And, Miss Marshall, they're waiting.

- Wait a minute, you're making a mistake.
- I am Mona Marshall.

- Oh, Miss Marshall, they're waiting.
- Let them wait.

Go. Go on out there.
I'll stand aside, as I always have.

What's one more sacrifice,
since I've made so many?

- But, Miss Marshall...
- No. Not another word. Go. Go quickly.

I want to be alone.

- She's gone, Jonesy. She's gone.
- Sure. She believed you.

Stand up and sing, you son of a gun

You know it's spring, you son of a gun

The skies are blue

The birds are twittering too

There's lots and lots of moon about

And that's enough to croon about

Go have your fling, you son of a gun

Let romance ring, you son of a gun

Go and get someone to make a duet

Get in the swing and sing
You son of a gun

Hooray for Hollywood

Stand up and sing, you son of a gun

Hooray for Hollywood

You know it's spring, you son of a gun

Oh, the skies are blue
The birds are twittering too

There's lots and lots of moon about
And that's enough to croon about

- Go have your fling
- You son of a gun

Let romance ring

You son of a gun

Go and get someone to make a duet

Get in the swing and sing
You son of a gun

Sing, sing, sing, sing, you son of a gun

Give it that zing, you son of a gun

Sound your A
And sing your worries away

You know it's spring
So sing, you son of a...

Swing, you son of a...
Sing, you son of a gun

Hooray for Hollywood

That screwy, ballyhoo-y Hollywood
Ha-ha

Where any office boy
Or young mechanic can be a panic

With just a good-looking pan

And old vaudevillians are making millions

It doesn't matter if you're 5 or 50

If you look nifty

Then leave the old neighborhood

You've got a chance to win

You might be Rin Tin Tin

Hooray for Hollywood

I really mean it, hooray

- Hooray
- Hooray

Hooray, hooray for Hollywood

It makes your dreams come true

Just like the movies do

Hooray for Hollywood