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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,480 ♪♪ 2 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,160 (crowd clamoring) 3 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:19,760 -Would you stop? 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,480 Frank! What are you... 5 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,640 -What's this? -You know what it is. 6 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,960 Padraig asked the two of us to write the music months ago, 7 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,480 but you said am-dram was beneath you 8 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,320 and you wouldn't be caught dead working on this shit-- 9 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,720 -You did it without me? 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,520 -Yeah. I've written the whole score. 11 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,680 We've been rehearsing for a month, and I love it. 12 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,360 I'm really blossoming on my own. 13 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,520 -You're not gonna blossom without me. 14 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,240 -I want in. -I appreciate the offer, Frank, 15 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,200 but I have to be firm here. 16 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:46,640 You have a tendency to take over. 17 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,240 -Doofus, I'm in. 18 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,040 (crowd cheering, applauding) 19 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,720 (cheering, applause continue) 20 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,440 -MAN: Maestro! Maestro! 21 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,720 Well done, Doofus and Maelbhina! 22 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,040 What a wonderful way to finish a final rehearsal! 23 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,200 Fantastique! 24 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,200 Okay, everyone, gather round! Gather round! 25 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,200 -Frank! Frank! 26 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,760 My song went great. 27 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,680 Hey, is Nicola here? Did she see it? 28 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,120 -PADRAIG: Ladies! Here we are, two hours to opening, 29 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,400 and I have to say, after all my years 30 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,320 running the Am-Dram Society, 31 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,600 I have never been more inspired. 32 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,000 And tonight, for one night only, 33 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,120 it all pays off. 34 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,600 I think you all deserve a round of applause. Everyone! 35 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,680 And I think it's important to mention 36 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,680 that this is an all-female production. 37 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,920 I was vehemently opposed to the idea at first, 38 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,760 but after seeing how hard you all worked, 39 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,080 and how you've maintained such emotional composure, 40 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,120 I have to say I really came around. 41 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,800 So I think I deserve a round of applause too! 42 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,320 I'd like to thank Nicola for her enthusiastic work 43 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,840 as stunt coordinator. Is she here? 44 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,760 -I'm here, yeah. Sorry I'm late. 45 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,240 -I'd like to give a special thank you 46 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,880 to our two musical maestros 47 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,160 who've given us such wonderful musique, 48 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,440 especially that closing number, Doofus. 49 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,160 Mwah! 50 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,840 Oh! I believe our star wants a word. 51 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,000 -Thank you, Padraig. You know, when I played 52 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,840 the Gaeity in the nineties, 53 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,560 the notion of women having a real voice in theater 54 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,400 seemed like a distant dre-- -Sorry, Maelbhina, 55 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,960 -I think Frank, eh-- -Thanks, Padraig. 56 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,440 Just regarding the music, I just wanted to say... 57 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,440 Doofus wrote one song, and you all seem very high on it... 58 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,120 but what about the other 11, yeah? 59 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,520 -Oh, Frank, all the songs are good. 60 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,480 -Well, I don't know. Some of Frank's songs are... 61 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,160 -What, Bernie? 62 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,560 -Well, the show is based on "Twelve Angry Men." 63 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:01,720 I don't see how a song called 64 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,000 "Fruits of the Forest" fits in, for example. 65 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,920 -It's a metaphor. -For what? 66 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,400 -The carnal imagery in "Fruits of the Forest" 67 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,000 represents the animal intensity of the main characters. 68 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,360 Jack Nicholson foaming at the mouth. 69 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,560 Tom Cruise not taking no for an answer. 70 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:20,240 -Hang on. Is that "A Few Good Men"? 71 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,280 -Eleven songs is a lot to get through, that's all I'm saying. 72 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,520 -Bernie, if we want to be throwing accusations around the place, 73 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,880 I saw you earlier at the snack stand. 74 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,400 Now, if you want a piece of fruit, go right ahead, 75 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,400 but you don't have to maul every fucking apple in the bowl. 76 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,600 -I was only looking for a soft one. 77 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,720 -Well, I don't know where your hands have been, all right? 78 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,800 It's not nice to be criticized, is it, Bernie? 79 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,640 So back the fuck off. Sorry. 80 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,760 Okay, quickly on to stunts, and then we'll break. 81 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:54,200 Nicola, over to you, and please be careful. 82 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,240 -FRANK: Listen, P, about Doofus's song... 83 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,760 -Oh! Directing women... 84 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,040 -is like herding cats, Frank. -Padraig! 85 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,320 -And action! -He said 20 seconds. 86 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,800 -He said 15. 87 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,800 -I'm telling you, he said 20 seconds! -That's enough! 88 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,720 -Ow! -Oh! 89 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,360 -These stunts make no sense. 90 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,800 -They're the best thing in the play. 91 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,720 -You're only saying that 'cause you want Nicola to kiss your willy. 92 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,240 -(screams) 93 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,600 -Oh, fuck! 94 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,240 -Oh, my hip! I'm down! 95 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,360 -Oh, for the love of God! 96 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,560 That's the fourth juror we've lost since Tuesday! 97 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,600 -She was supposed to go limp! -We open in less than an hour, 98 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,120 we can't keep losing people. 99 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,160 Shit. I'm gonna have to cut some of the action scenes. 100 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,440 -DOOFUS: Whoa, whoa, whoa! 101 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,680 What are you saying, Padraig? 102 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,360 That women can't do action? 103 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,760 -That's not what I'm saying at all! 104 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:48,920 But obviously Bernie here 105 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,560 can't do a simple flip. 106 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,320 -Don't fight my battles, Doofus. 107 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,720 -No, I just-- I just like your work, that's all. 108 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,520 Did you hear my song earlier? 109 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,160 -No. I'm looking forward to it, though, I hear it's good. 110 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,920 -Nicola, Nicola, Nicola, please. 111 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,680 I love all the action stuff. 112 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,360 But the name of the show is "Twelve Angry Women," 113 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,200 and we're down to eight. 114 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,720 Now, hopefully I can bunch them all together onstage 115 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,760 and they won't notice the lack of numbers, 116 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,480 but there's nine speaking parts. 117 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,240 We're running out of options here. 118 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,760 -Dad? I could switch to Bernie's part. 119 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,560 That way I'd have a song. And I've basically been cut 120 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,040 from everything else, so... 121 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,160 -Right. 122 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,760 Elaine, I love what you're doing, 123 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,800 but I'm gonna have to get you to do Bernie's part, okay? 124 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,560 We'll cut the stenographer. 125 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,720 Right, let's take it up with the flip. 126 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,480 Nicola, wait! 127 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,080 Doofus, do you mind? 128 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,120 Just once, to make sure it's safe. 129 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,520 -Of course it's safe. 130 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,840 -You loose? -Loose as a goose. 131 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,320 -Yeah, I'm gonna grab your arm, okay? 132 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,760 -Okay. -Are you with me? 133 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,040 -I'm with you forever, Nicola. 134 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,240 -You just need to go limp. It doesn't hurt if you go limp 135 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,480 -Limp as a wimp. 136 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,000 -Okay? -Yeah. 137 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,400 (grunts, screams) 138 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,800 (crowd gasps) 139 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,320 (gasping) 140 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,200 -Are you all right? -Yeah. 141 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,520 -Did you go limp? -Yeah! 142 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,880 -Are you sure? 'Cause Elaine's up next. 143 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,080 If you're hurt, you need to say so now. 144 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,920 -I'm fine. -Right. Get Elaine in. 145 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,680 -Elaine! -(Doofus groaning) 146 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,400 -FRANK: Hey, Padraig. 147 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,280 It's the closing number. 148 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,080 Let's just cut it, yeah? 149 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,160 -I don't think Doofus will mind. -Go limp. 150 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,960 -No way, Frank. Doofus's song is the best thing in the play. 151 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,440 -What are you talking about? 152 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,960 -(Elaine screams) -(body thuds) 153 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,640 -Oh, God damn it. 154 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,120 She's down too, isn't she? 155 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,560 -ELAINE: Frankie! -Aine! 156 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,680 We need you. Call Peter-Brian. 157 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,760 Tell him we need to patch up some more of the jurors. 158 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,320 Everyone else, take ten. 159 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,120 -Hey, Maelbhina. How you doing? 160 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,320 -Well, I was in the Gaiety once, and now I'm here. 161 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,360 -What does that tell you? -Your star has fallen? 162 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,760 Listen, I was just saying to Padraig, 163 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,640 and I think he agrees, 164 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,200 let's cut that last number, right? 165 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,120 -It's not exactly in keeping-- -Frank! 166 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,560 Doofus' song is the only good thing in this whole, 167 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,480 horrible mess. 168 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:20,960 Forget the bullshit. 169 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,000 Forget the other shitty songs. 170 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,040 That piece is the reason I came back to musical theater. 171 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,920 -But I wrote way more songs than him, 172 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,960 -and he's gonna get all the credit! -He should. 173 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,960 Half your songs are about the wrong movie, 174 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,720 and the rest are clearly your old songs that you repurposed. 175 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,480 Four of them are about counties in Ireland! 176 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,400 -"Livin' La Vida Carlow" 177 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,400 was written specifically for the piece. 178 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,000 It's a metaphor for Tom Cruise's clash 179 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,400 with corruption in the military. 180 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,440 -I'm gonna sing Doofus' song, 181 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,320 and it's gonna be the only thing people remember. 182 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,880 Get used to it. 183 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,520 -Is she gonna be okay? 184 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,160 -She's 79 and her ribs are fucked. 185 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,320 -Nicola! No more stunt rehearsals. 186 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,120 Just wait'll you're onstage. -What about the chair shots? 187 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,920 It's not safe not to rehearse the chair shots. 188 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,680 -Fine. Rehearse the chair shots, but please be careful. 189 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,760 -Of course. -How's it going? 190 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,960 -Oh, it's a disaster. Bernie's out. 191 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,680 Elaine here is in bits. 192 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,360 And I've no one to cover their parts. 193 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,480 Wait. Unless... 194 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,480 Call Mary. Tell her if she learns the lines, she's in. 195 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,160 But she has to be here in an hour! 196 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,120 Let's get her out of sight. 197 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,040 -Hey, Doofus. 198 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,240 I was just talking to Melvs and Padraig. 199 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,120 I think the general consensus is 200 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,880 do one of my songs to close the show. Whaddaya think? 201 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,520 -But it's the only one of my songs left. 202 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,440 -You replaced all the others. -Did I? 203 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,840 -Yeah. Anyway, I-- 204 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,440 -I want Nicola to hear it. -Nicola? 205 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,080 -I know she's out of my league, Frank, 206 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,720 but.. everybody else likes my song. 207 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,640 If she hears it, and she thinks it's good... 208 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,480 you never know. 209 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:09,880 -Your song it is. 210 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,080 -Yeah! -I hope she likes it. 211 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,760 -Thanks, Frank! Hey, Nicola. 212 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,160 They're still gonna do my song at the end. 213 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,000 -NICOLA: Oh, that's great! 214 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,400 (crowd clamoring) 215 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,240 -There's queues of people outside! 216 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,440 It's a sellout! 217 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,640 -Have you the lines? 218 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,600 -Oh, forget the lines. 219 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,360 Gotta give the people what they want. 220 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,520 -Please, Mary, no vag this time. Last year-- 221 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,760 -The show was "Mary Poppins," Padraig. 222 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,280 There was bound to be some improv. 223 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,400 -Okay, everyone? Ready to rehearse the chair shots? 224 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,200 I'm gonna smack you with these fake chairs, okay? 225 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,160 -WOMAN: Will it hurt? -NICOLA: Only if you're a pussy. 226 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,760 -How are you, Bernie? -I can't walk. 227 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,640 -Look, as you can see, 228 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,640 we're under quite a bit of pressure. 229 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,160 I wonder if you could do me a teeny-weeny favor. 230 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,520 Stop rubbing your grubby mits over every piece of fruit! 231 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,760 I have it up to here, Bernie! Up to here! 232 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,520 -I'm sorry. 233 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,880 -NICOLA: Ready? -Sure. 234 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,280 -Just remember, take it on the back, you'll be fine. 235 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:15,840 AINE: You a Yankees fan? 236 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,640 -No, Baltimore! -Baltimore? 237 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,080 That's like being hit in the head 238 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,480 with a crowbar once a day! 239 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,520 -(all laughing) -♪♪ (piano) 240 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:23,880 -Hey! 241 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,640 -Ow! -♪ Been there, Donegal ♪ 242 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:30,840 ♪ Lots of lovely place-- ♪ 243 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,760 (grunts) 244 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:33,960 (body thuds) 245 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,360 -(gasps) -(screams) 246 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,720 -Somebody switched the chair. -What are we gonna do? 247 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,000 -Somebody switched the chair. -We have to let them in. 248 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,480 -Who switched the chair? -It doesn't matter, Nicola. 249 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,240 -It doesn't matter. -Who's gonna play her part? 250 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,440 -Aine, drag her backstage, will you? 251 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,640 Stick her in with Elaine. 252 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,040 We need to start the show. What are we going to do? 253 00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,720 -Do you want me to take Maelbhina's part? 254 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,440 -You're already taking Bernie's part! 255 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,920 -Dad, I know Maelbhina's lines, and Doofus' songs. 256 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,400 -I know the whole parts. -Please don't let her do it. 257 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,720 Oh, Aine, there's a lot riding on that song. No offense, darling. 258 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,200 -What are you still doing back here? -I was looking after Maelbhina. 259 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,000 -Any chance she'll... -No. 260 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,360 -We need to figure out who switched that chair. 261 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,080 -Aine's the one who's been 262 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,040 stepping over Maelbhina's body to steal the closing number. 263 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,800 -Maybe it was her? -AINE: Fuck you, Mary. 264 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,480 -Where were you just before the accident? 265 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,000 -Nicola, you've been injuring people all week. 266 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,640 Why don't you take some responsibility? 267 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,160 -Maybe we should do one of my songs instead. 268 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,600 -No, Frank! -Look, I don't care who did it. 269 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,280 We need to start the show, we need to get someone 270 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,200 to play Maelbhina's part, and that's that. 271 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,840 There's only one option. 272 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,760 Aine... 273 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,240 Give me your wig. I'll play the part. 274 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,600 We'll sort something out for the song by the end of the show. 275 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,240 -Women of the jury, 276 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:54,440 you've listened to a long and complex case. 277 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,600 You have a grave responsibility. 278 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,920 -What's wrong with you? -I just-- 279 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,720 I wanted Nicola to like me. 280 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,560 Without Maelbhina to sing me songs-- 281 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,120 -You'll get another girlfriend. 282 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,520 -I don't want another girlfriend! 283 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,680 I only wrote the song so Nicola'd like me. 284 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,640 Now who's gonna sing it? Fuckin' Aine? 285 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,920 -Because guilt is a terrible thing, 286 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,560 and it weighs heavy on the sinful. 287 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,040 So it falls to you twelve angr-- 288 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:23,040 eight angry women to sort... 289 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,280 the facts from the fancy. 290 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,640 ♪♪ 291 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,320 ♪ The facts from the fancy ♪ 292 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,680 ♪ We can't take a chancy ♪ 293 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,200 ♪ The jury's getting antsy ♪ 294 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,000 ♪♪ 295 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,160 (sighs) 296 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,440 -Wake up, Maelbhina. 297 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,880 Hey, Maelbhina, could you wake up, please? 298 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,680 -"Twenty," he said! 299 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:03,840 -That's enough. 300 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,360 -Ow! 301 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,160 -Right, Mary. Flip. -Fuck that. 302 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,080 Elaine, you're up. 303 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,400 -Oh, sorry, Elaine. Go limp. 304 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,680 -No! 305 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,320 -(crowd gasps) -(body thuds) 306 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,280 -God damn it, Maelbhina, wake up! 307 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,840 I've made a terrible mistake! 308 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,480 (sobs) 309 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,520 -What's going on here? 310 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,760 -Have you been crying? 311 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,800 -Everyone's being a cunt. 312 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,720 -How are you enjoying the court case? 313 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,760 -Oh, it's good. 314 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,720 But I do long to return to my home town of Fermanagh. 315 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,280 -Right. 316 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:46,840 -♪ Fermanagh from heaven ♪ 317 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,200 ♪ Fermanagh from heaven ♪ 318 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,840 ♪ A woman cannot live upon bread that's unleavened ♪ 319 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,640 -Look, it's terrible, but we have no choice. 320 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,400 Maybe we have to lose Doofus's song. 321 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,160 -Frank. -Huh? 322 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,960 -Have you something else we can use instead? 323 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,920 -I know someone who can sing Doofus's song. 324 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,400 They just need to believe in themselves. 325 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,760 I think Doofus should sing it. 326 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,760 -♪ Fermanagh, Fermanagh, Fermanagh, Fermanagh ♪ 327 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,240 ♪ Fermanagh, Fermanagh ♪ 328 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,720 -You can't give a man 329 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,040 the last song in an all-female production. 330 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,560 -Everyone deserves a chance. I think Doofus'd smash it. 331 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,280 -You switched the chairs, didn't you? 332 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,120 You were jealous. Now you feel guilty, 333 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,320 so you wanna give Doofus his moment. 334 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,720 -How dare you? 335 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,040 -Don't be pointing fingers. -Yeah. 336 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,680 I did not switch anything. 337 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,160 I think Doofus could do a good job. 338 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,720 -I could do it. 339 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:35,960 -You lack Maelbhina's sultry charm, 340 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,080 her easy way with her body. 341 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,560 Face it, Doofus is more suited to the part. 342 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,320 -Oh, forget Doofus! 343 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,080 -Put me in, Coach. -I'm telling you. 344 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,240 -Quiet! 345 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,560 -(singing in distance) 346 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,840 -Fuck! It's the group scene! 347 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,160 Quick! Places, everyone! Everyone, quick! 348 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,280 -Some of the script changes Padraig made are atrocious. 349 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,640 -Mrs. Forewoman, I'd like to change my vote. 350 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,960 -Not guilty -What? 351 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,400 Anybody else wanna change their vote? 352 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,360 -PADRAIG: That's women for you. 353 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,400 (rimshot) 354 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,880 -Whew! It's the first act over. 355 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,040 Couple of hitches, but we're still in the game. 356 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,440 Maelbhina hasn't magically come back to life, has she? 357 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,400 -No. -We need to talk about the issue at hand. 358 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,120 -Yeah. Who's singing the closing number? 359 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,360 -No, not that. Someone here hurt Maelbhina. 360 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,840 We don't know who. All you guys seem to be worried about 361 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,480 is who is gonna sing that stupid song. 362 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,880 -You're right. I'm singing it. 363 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,840 -It's literally the best part of the play, darling. 364 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,480 We don't wanna fuck it up. And I don't mean 365 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,800 anything bad by that. What time is it? 366 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,920 We better push on with the second act. Where's Mary? 367 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,720 -Okay! Let's do this. 368 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,280 -What are you wearing? 369 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,040 -It's military. -It's Juror 6's big number. 370 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,720 It's a serious moment-- 371 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,800 "We Follow Orders or People Die," 372 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,600 and God damn it, Frank, 373 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,480 I just realized that's from "A Few Good Men." 374 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,560 "A Few Good Women." 375 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:03,840 ♪♪ 376 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,240 -♪ Santiago ♪ 377 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,840 ♪ Private first class ♪ 378 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,240 ♪ Santiago ♪ 379 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,320 ♪ He hasn't been seen in a while ♪ 380 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,440 -The audience is turning. -Shouldn't you be out there playing? 381 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:17,840 -I don't play live. 382 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,760 Doofus has my parts on his laptop. 383 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,040 -Dad, can you just decide who's doing the last number? 384 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,160 I've been doing extensive vocal training 385 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,520 with Peter-Brian for the past month. 386 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,920 -I really think I could-- -Nobody is going back on that stage 387 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,320 till I find out who switched that fucking chair. 388 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,720 And I'm looking at you, Frank. 389 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,640 -Nicola, you snotty little bastard. 390 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,280 -Frank-- -I'm not the one on trial here. 391 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,320 -♪ Seen in a while ♪ 392 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,640 ♪♪ 393 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,960 -(scattered applause) -Thank you. 394 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:53,000 And with that, I shall bring in the rest of the jury. 395 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,000 -Two minutes. Just vamp it. 396 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,800 -Oh. 397 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,080 So... 398 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:01,760 would you like to see the song again? 399 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,000 -Did you switch those chairs? 400 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,400 -Did I order the code red on Maelbhina? 401 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,360 No! I did not! -Did you switch the chairs? 402 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,640 What do you want Nicola? 403 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,440 Do you want me to sleep with you again? 404 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:12,760 -Is that what you want? -Frank, I want the truth! 405 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,080 -You can't handle the fruit! 406 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,280 Bernie! How many times? 407 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,520 -I think I need to go to hospital. 408 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,280 -Well, fucking go! 409 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,880 -Well? -You people. 410 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,000 You have no idea how to protect a production. 411 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,960 Maelbhina's accident, while tragic, 412 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,040 -probably saved lives. -Did you switch the chair? 413 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,240 -I did the job I was hired to do. -Did you switch the chair? 414 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,960 -You're goddamn right I did! 415 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,760 -(gasps) Wha-- 416 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,280 Frank, you piece of shit! 417 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,520 You took out Maelbhina. 418 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,280 -No, wait, Doofus! 419 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,800 I'm sorry! 420 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,560 Doofus! 421 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,400 (both screaming) 422 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,960 -You ruined my songs! -I had no choice! 423 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,040 -You wrecked my chances with Nicola! 424 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,320 Now she'll never kiss my willy! 425 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,960 -I was just-- -Fuck you, Frank. 426 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,040 The best buddies gang is over. 427 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,200 -The what? 428 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,000 -(sobs) 429 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,080 I hope you're happy. 430 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,800 (grunts) 431 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,080 Maelbhina! 432 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,400 (panting) 433 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,720 (soft horn honk) 434 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,080 (horn blasts) 435 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,160 -Maelbhina... -What's happening? 436 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,880 -You're a professional, right? 437 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,520 You played the Gaeity, right? 438 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,680 Yeah. 439 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,760 Let's get you ready 440 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,680 for the performance of your life. 441 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,080 -Look, we've no choice. 442 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,560 I'm sorry to say the closing number will be sung by Aine. 443 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,440 -Oh, fucking Jesus. 444 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,080 -Oh, God, it's fucked. -(sobbing) 445 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,720 -Thank you, Dad. I won't let you down. 446 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,080 -FRANK: Not so fast. 447 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,760 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you 448 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,560 the incomparable Maelbhina. 449 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,920 -Thank Christ. Aine, you're out. 450 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,800 -What? -Oh, thank you, Frank. 451 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,800 -No need to thank me, little britches. 452 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,280 -Nicola, you gonna watch? -Sure, Doofus. 453 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,760 Let's see what all the fuss is about. 454 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,160 -We got a crowd to blow away, Doofus, 455 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,560 Now, get out there and break a leg. 456 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,000 -Yeah! Oh, fuck! 457 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,800 -Oh! -Is she good to go? 458 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,880 She's a professional, Peter-Brian. 459 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,320 -You're the best. 460 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,400 -Eh... Padraig... Frank? 461 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,800 -Ladies and gentlemen, before the closing number... 462 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,920 you've heard a lot of great music this evening, 463 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,520 but I'm not responsible 464 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,720 for everything you're gonna hear tonight. 465 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,320 Because this next song was written by my best friend, 466 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,080 Doofus MacGiollagán. 467 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,000 and he deserves full credit for it. 468 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,800 Now, stand up Doofus! Take a bow! 469 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,760 (scattered applause) 470 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,680 Take it away, Doofs! 471 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,920 Oh, careful, Maelbhina. Mind that lace. 472 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,800 -Huh? Oh? Oh! 473 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,280 (all gasping) 474 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,800 -Oh, shit! 475 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,480 -Ugh. It'll have to be Aine. Balls. 476 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,080 -Thanks, darling. 477 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,880 -Let's get this over with. 478 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,480 -Okay. 479 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,160 -Aine, Aine... 480 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,920 I believe in you. 481 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,680 -DOOFUS: Oh, for fuck's sake. 482 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,440 -(exhales) 483 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,640 (loud whisper) You-- You start! 484 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,080 It starts with singing! 485 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,400 -What's my first note? 486 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,320 ♪♪ 487 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:23,080 -(warbling) ♪ A woman's life ♪ -(fiddle note) 488 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,160 -No. -It's too high. 489 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,640 -All right. -(fiddle note) 490 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,080 -(atonally) ♪ A woman's life ♪ 491 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,880 ♪ Hangs in the ♪ 492 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:39,200 (warbling) ♪ Balance ♪ 493 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,560 Stop it. 494 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,280 Stop it. Go back to the start. 495 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,320 Look, Doofus, please go back to the start. 496 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,760 -You're fucking it up! -Please, Doofus. 497 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,320 (clapping) 498 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,280 -(popping) -Whoa! 499 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,680 Well, there you go. 500 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,760 That was... 501 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,720 Doofus's song. 502 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,760 That's the ending of the show. That's the end. 503 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,200 He was not guilty. 504 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,640 She was not guilty. Women are as good as men. 505 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,920 Thank you very much, everyone, good night! 506 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,080 -MAN: Get off the stage! -(crowd booing) 507 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,000 -Fuck it. -What's she doing? 508 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,960 (Frank grunting) 509 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,320 (Frank groaning) 510 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,160 ♪♪ 511 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,440 (applause) 512 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,000 ♪♪ ("Dynamite Exploded" by Honey and the Bees") 513 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,800 -♪ Just like fire ♪ 514 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,960 ♪ Fire, fire ♪ 515 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,600 ♪ My poor heart is breaking ♪ 516 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,160 ♪ Desire, desire ♪ 517 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,680 ♪ My poor heart is in ♪ 518 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,760 ♪ Danger, girl in distress ♪ 519 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,800 ♪ Breathing in gets hard ♪ 520 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,720 ♪ Longing for you, baby ♪ 521 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,320 ♪ It's tearing me apart ♪ 522 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,960 ♪ Oh, patience is what you cause ♪ 523 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,360 ♪ Deep down in my heart ♪ 524 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,320 ♪ A big explosion ♪ 525 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,760 ♪♪ (ends) 38058

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