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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,520 ♪♪ 2 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,600 (phone line ringing) 3 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,080 (cell phone ringing) 4 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,840 -FRANK: Hello, Aine. -Hi. 5 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,360 Frank, why are you ringin' me? 6 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,120 -Gotta man up and be straight with ya, Aine. 7 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,720 I've totally forgotten why I've called you. 8 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,400 -Are you calling because I've got a new boyfriend maybe? 9 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:38,760 -No, there's no way that's why I called. 10 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,440 -PETER-BRIAN: Aine! 11 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:41,520 -AINE: I have to go. 12 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,640 -I'm back writing songs again. 13 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,920 -Oh, my God. 14 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,600 You haven't finished a song since-- 15 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,600 -We broke up. I know. 16 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,840 Maybe I lost my mu-- -Oh, Frank. 17 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,120 -Don't interrupt. I was saying 18 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,480 maybe I lost my musical cojones. 19 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,640 -Oh. -FRANK: Wanna know why? 20 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,520 It's livin' with my fuckin' mam, that's why. 21 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,240 You ever seen the film "Misery"? -No. 22 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:01,960 -Jimmy Caan plays a genius writer 23 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,320 imprisoned by an overbearing bitch-slash-MILF 24 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,560 who strangles his creativity. 25 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,720 Let's just say, I can relate. 26 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,120 -Don't call Mary a MILF, Frank. 27 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,920 -FRANK: Why not? -PETER-BRIAN: Aine! 28 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,800 -FRANK: She's not just a mother-- -I better go. 29 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,920 Unless... 30 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,720 Unless you want to play me one of your new songs. 31 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,920 -Look, I haven't actually finished one yet, okay? 32 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,520 God, I'm so trapped here. 33 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,000 -Why aren't you up? There's squalls forecast for 2:00, we need to go. 34 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,720 Come on, let's go. 35 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,440 -FRANK: How's life with fancy pants? 36 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,920 -Yeah. Good. 37 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,640 Sometimes I wonder if we-- 38 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,560 -Oh! Just remembered why I called. 39 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,200 -AINE: Yeah, what is it? 40 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,960 -Mary fell over. She hasn't moved in a while. 41 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,040 -AINE: What? Jesus Christ! 42 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:46,000 -Yeah, I know. Get nothin' done today. 43 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,080 ♪♪ 44 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:52,920 (strums chord) 45 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,400 -(gasping) I came as quick as I could, buddy. 46 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,720 How's Mare-Mare? 47 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,920 -Yeah, she's okay, she's sleepin'. 48 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,080 Aine's on her way over but she's taking ages. 49 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,920 Thought I might lash out a song while I had some peace but-- 50 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,400 (doorbell rings) 51 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:05,560 (sighs) 52 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,240 See what I mean? 53 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,440 (pounding on door) 54 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,960 -Aine. Good to see ya. 55 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,800 -PETER-BRIAN: Oh, my God! 56 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,800 -What's he doin' here? -What's she doing here? 57 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,680 -She's... sleeping. 58 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,240 -She's unconscious. 59 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,560 -They say you're not supposed to move them. 60 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,880 -Mary? -(scoffs) 61 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,600 -Mary? 62 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,160 Okay, Mary, the bad news is 63 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,560 your ankle is sprained and you've got a concussion. 64 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,600 You need medication and total bed rest 65 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,320 for the next 24 hours, okay? 66 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,600 -Oh, no, no, no, darlin', I've a date tonight, 67 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,600 and I hate spending all day in bed unless-- 68 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,120 -Dah! Don't say something horrible. 69 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,800 -Unless it's a Sunday. -That's fine. 70 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,720 -And I'm friggin' the gee off myself. 71 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,480 -That's absolutely abhorrent! 72 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,800 -Who's the date? 73 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,320 -A musician I met on Tinder. 74 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,360 -A musician? -Yeah. His songs are great. 75 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,280 And he's gorgeous. 76 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,640 Look, Aine. 77 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,040 -Is he good lookin'? 78 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,400 -Well, it's just a photo of his penis. 79 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:06,960 -Is it big? -It is, yeah. 80 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,680 -I'm afraid there'll be no date tonight, Mary, 81 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,520 you need to stay in bed and get someone to look after you, okay? 82 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,840 -But who? Could you do it? 83 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,840 You have lovely hands. -Uh, sorry, Mary, 84 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,240 but we're actually cycling Howth Head. 85 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,960 -You're such a fuckin' drag, Aine. 86 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,800 -Well, there must be someone. -(sighs) 87 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,040 -AINE: My dad? 88 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,480 -(scoffs) He's clingier than you. 89 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,640 It's a pity all my family are dead. 90 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,440 -What about Frank? 91 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,480 -(scoffs) -(chuckles) 92 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,120 -I would, unfortunately, 93 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,600 I'm working on new material, so-- 94 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,040 -Not havin' that dipshit lookin' after me. 95 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,760 I'd be dead by morning. 96 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,880 -What on God's green earth are you talking about? 97 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,560 -You're not very practical, Frank. 98 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,960 I mean, you'd have to look after the house as well. 99 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,120 -I'm perfectly practical in every way. 100 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,000 Fuck it! The next 24 hours 101 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,320 are gonna be the best of your entire life, Mary. 102 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,360 Myself and Doofus will lovingly nurse you back to health. 103 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,560 -No, there's no way I can do that, Frank. 104 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,880 -Will lovingly nurse you back to health-- 105 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:56,920 -I have to start making money, or Dad says I'm gonna be 106 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,400 kicked out of the house. -And look out for the house. 107 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,800 -I'll be homeless, Frank. -And all we require 108 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,240 as compensation is a float for some expenses. 109 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,160 -Fine. I'll make a checklist, 110 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,360 and give you 100 euro for the day. 111 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:07,880 God help me. 112 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,400 -Might I suggest an addition? 113 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,200 -(chuckles) Yeah. 114 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,000 He can't finish anything. I'd be very impressed 115 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,200 if he even gets halfway through that. 116 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,920 -That's a piece of piss. 117 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,760 Aine, Billy-Barry, fuck off! I have a mother to spoil. 118 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,520 ♪♪ 119 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,600 -Cheek of them. 120 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:46,480 -Medication, meals, laundry. This seems doable. 121 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,000 Whatcha doin'? 122 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,600 -I'm being responsible. 123 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,640 I'm gonna knock Mary out while we do a shop. 124 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,360 Can't have her wreckin' the gaff while we're out. 125 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,000 This way, she gets some rest, we get some peace of mind. 126 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,920 -Whoa. That looks like a lot of-- 127 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,920 -Check medication off the list, Doofs. 128 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,120 Done in one. -Whoo! 129 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,720 -Look at me. I'm totally trapped here. 130 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,360 It's exactly like "Misery." 131 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,880 I'm exactly like James Caan. 132 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,000 ♪♪ 133 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,920 -Heavens to Betsy. Who are you texting? 134 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,560 -My date. 135 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,240 Gets some food, will ya? I'm starving. 136 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,440 There's pizzettes in the-- -No junk food. 137 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,040 That's why you've brittle bones in the first place. 138 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,040 I'm gonna cook you a nutritious meal from scratch. 139 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,680 Just have to nip out for a quick shop. 140 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,240 -Well, how long with that-- -Then I have to roast a chicken, 141 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:40,920 scrap the meat, 142 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,880 use the bones and giblets as a base for a stock, 143 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,160 roast another chicken for the meat itself, 144 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,840 make gravy, fix a salad. 145 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,600 I'd say we'll plate up around 11:30 tonight. 146 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,080 -Forget it. I'll order take away. 147 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,000 -How's that for take away? -Give it back. 148 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,840 -This thing is rotting your brain. 149 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,920 -I'll put it on flight mode. 150 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000 -How's that for flight mode? -(gasps) 151 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,240 -See what you made me do? 152 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,520 -Go and get it right now. 153 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,840 I have a date tonight and I'm not missing it. 154 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,520 -No more phones. No more boys. 155 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,080 When you're under my roof, you'll live by my rules. 156 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,560 I'll be back with dinner soon. 157 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,520 This is for emergencies only. 158 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,720 Drink your wine, sugarplum. 159 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,120 (keys jangling) 160 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,000 (lock clicks) 161 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,440 (Doofus grunting) 162 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,040 Why couldn't we get a taxi to the shops? 163 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,240 -I'm being responsible with the float. That'll show her. 164 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,800 -Why didn't we wash the clothes in the house, then, to save money? 165 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,120 -Get out of my head, Doofus, you have it melted. 166 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,240 -Sorry. 167 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,600 (grunting) 168 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,520 -Dry clean the lot, please. -Dry clean? 169 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,360 You sure you just don't want a wash n' fold? 170 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,480 -I don't want to half-ass it, do I? 171 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,680 What should I do? What do you think I should do? 172 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,440 -They're just normal clothes. 173 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,760 Cost you 200 quid to dry clean that lot. 174 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,880 -I already spent 60 on the dog. 175 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,280 -DOOFUS: What's that? 176 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,560 -I bought him on the hill when you were taking a breather. 177 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,120 It's a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle. 178 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,800 It's a Cockadoodle? 179 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,920 -It's not on the list, Frank. 180 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,920 -They boost morale for the infirmed, Doofus. 181 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,720 His name's Frank. 182 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,640 Well, I named him Frank. I regret it now. 183 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,600 Fuck it! Sorry. Dry clean 'em. 184 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,200 You only live once, we'll pay tomorrow. 185 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,680 Do you deliver? 186 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,600 -For 200 quid we deliver, yeah. 187 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,360 -Oh! Oh! Oh! -Oh, no, 188 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,920 he's widdling on me, Frank. -Goddammit, Frank, just stop it! 189 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,040 -You should rub his nose in it. 190 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,320 -BOTH: Really? 191 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,000 -(groaning) 192 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,080 Can I switch this for something that's unwiddled, please? 193 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,560 I should have... -BOTH: found stuff first and then changed. 194 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,840 -You look the same. 195 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,360 -Cool! 196 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,480 What's next? 197 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,520 -Make dinner. -Oh. 198 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,760 -FRANK: Thank you. 199 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,400 -(dog whimpers) -You embarrassed me. 200 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,720 -Sit, Frank. Sit! 201 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,440 I'm the boss here, Frank, do what you're told. 202 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,480 Ey! That took a while. Is that everything? 203 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,240 -I needed to streamline the whole nutrition process. 204 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,400 -It's just eggs. 205 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,760 -Eggs are nature's super food. 206 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,440 We've actually saved a few bob here. 207 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,840 Let's snarf a sneaky coffee before we go home. 208 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,960 Nothin' too fancy. 209 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,600 ♪♪ 210 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,880 -I like how I feel in these clothes. 211 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,400 Confident. Like you. -(dog whimpers) 212 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,880 -I am Frank. 213 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,440 -Yeah. How close are we to finishing the list? 214 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,640 -Eh, all that's left is 215 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,960 feed Mary and clean the house. 216 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,360 And Peter-Brian's thing. 217 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,520 -Remind me. 218 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,200 Smug fucker. 219 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,720 We're way ahead of schedule here. 220 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,320 I might actually have time to write a song now. 221 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,160 Wanna help? -I'd love to. 222 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,120 What are we gonna write a song about, Frank? 223 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,520 -(dog barks) -Um... 224 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,640 -Ohh! Oh, ooh, that's hot. -I dunno. 225 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,480 Can't really think with this fella at me. 226 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,040 Fuckin' get it together, Frank. 227 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,080 (dog whimpers) 228 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,360 -Let's go home, cook, tick dinner off the list. 229 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,440 Can't finish anything. 230 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:51,760 Watch me finish this Americano. 231 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,280 -(gasps) -(groans) 232 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:59,200 -It's too hot? -No. (groans) 233 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,480 -Garçon! 234 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,240 Check, please. 235 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,520 Bah. 236 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,160 -(spoon clatters) -(Frank belches) 237 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,480 -That was delicious. -Yeah. Was heavy. 238 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,040 Is it just eggs? 239 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,120 -Eggs and strawberry flavored protein powder. 240 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,440 Everything the body needs. -Ooh, it's challenging. 241 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,960 -Get used to it, buddy. Made a batch-cook for the next six meals. 242 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,080 Turns out, I'm a natural when it comes to runnin' a home. 243 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:26,000 -Time to feed Mary. -Oh! She'll be a hungry hippo, all right. 244 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,080 Hope she's compos mentis. 245 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,640 Those pills looked hardcore. 246 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,320 You know, I'm actually quite fond of her. 247 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,960 When she's quiet. Maybe I should 248 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,880 write the song for her, show her I care. 249 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,720 -Ah, Frank. -You clean up, I'll feed her, 250 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,240 we'll crack that song and finish the list with half a day to spare. 251 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,640 -Woo! 252 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,640 -Mary. Question. Which came first, 253 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,280 the chicken or the scrambled eggs? 254 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,840 Mary. 255 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,760 Why aren't you laughing? (gasps) 256 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,720 -"Have you ever seen 'Misery,' Doofus?" 257 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,240 "I'm a songwriter, Doofus." 258 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,160 "I did her up the bum, Doofus." 259 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,480 -FRANK: Doofus! -Uh, yeah. 260 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,080 -Mary's escaped. 261 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,280 ♪♪ 262 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,320 (screams) 263 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,240 -FRANK: Mary! -DOOFUS: Mary! 264 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,400 -Mary! -Goddammit, Mary! 265 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,800 -Mary! -Mary! 266 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,480 -Mary! -(dog barks) 267 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,240 -Oh! Wait. 268 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,320 Got the scent? Yeah? Got the scent? 269 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,880 Okay. Go. Go find Mary, Frank! 270 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,920 Stop wasting time, Frank, and go find Mary! 271 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,040 -(whimpers) 272 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,320 -If she dies, it's all your fault, Frank. You idiot! 273 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,320 -She drank all the drugged wine. 274 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,040 What if she's passed out somewhere alone? 275 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,200 -Well, maybe it's good I drugged her, 276 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,000 It means she can't have gone far. 277 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,600 Did you roll your eyes at me? 278 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,680 Where's this attitude coming from? 279 00:11:55,760 --> 00:12:00,200 -Wait. Maybe to find Mary... 280 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,880 we need to think like Mary. 281 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,200 -Huh. 282 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,200 -(Doofus gasps) -What are you seeing? 283 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,120 -I-- I don't want to say. It's-- 284 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,480 -No. Doofus, what do your Mary eyes see? 285 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:16,120 -Just-- It's just willies, Frank, 286 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,200 it's just loads of willies all at once. 287 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,440 It's like being attacked by a gang of ostriches. 288 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,280 -(gasps) Her date with the musician. 289 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,160 I bet she's gone to meet him. 290 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,400 Her phone. It's outside. 291 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,920 Password protected. Ridiculous. 292 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,240 Let's try my birthday. 293 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:33,800 Fuck! 294 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,720 What should we try next? -DOOFUS: Her birthday? 295 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,720 -Let's try my birthday again. -That's not gonna work. 296 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,600 -You're not in charge here. I'm in charge here. 297 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,920 -(phone buzzes) -Fuck! 298 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,560 One go left. My birthday again? 299 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,920 -Try 0000. -It's not gonna be 0000. 300 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,200 0000 is a stupid password. 301 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,400 Frank's birthday. Last time's the charm. 302 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,920 -0000. We're in. -(phone chimes) 303 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,080 Okay. She arranged to meet the musician in town after his gig and-- 304 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,880 His dick's even bigger than I imagined. 305 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,080 -You're very lucky that worked. 306 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,840 -Will the dog be okay on his own? 307 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,760 -Frank needs to learn to look after himself. 308 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,360 He's becoming dependent. 309 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,840 -Do you want to write that song for Mary, 310 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,240 maybe pass the time? 311 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,320 -Sure. -Okay. 312 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,320 What are the things that you like about Mary? 313 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,120 -Well, she cooks a mean chili. 314 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,760 -All right. Any other good points? 315 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,240 -She's quite good in the sack, apparently. 316 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,600 I've heard that from men at breakfast. 317 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,520 -No, no, Frank. If you had to express 318 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,320 one positive emotion about your mother Mary, 319 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,080 what would that be? 320 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,240 -The chili thing. -No, not the chili thing. 321 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,520 -She makes it from a packet. 322 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,320 -All right. All right, maybe the-- 323 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,600 maybe the chili is a metaphor. 324 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,720 (chuckles) 325 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,960 Hey there, chili woman, why are you so cold? 326 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,800 -You know what a metaphor is, right? 327 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,440 It's where you say one thing but it means something else. 328 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,440 -Yeah. -Yeah. 329 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,760 -Like when Mary says it's not from the packet, the chili. 330 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,920 I've seen the packet. -No, no, that's a lie. 331 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,360 A metaphor is like, "The Lord is my shepherd." 332 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,120 -That's a metaphor? 333 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:14,080 -Did you think it was about a guy who hired the Lord God 334 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,320 as his actual shepherd? -No, that the Lord God 335 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,280 was a shepherd already, and the-- 336 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,240 -What, the-- the clouds are sheep? 337 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,920 -No. They're metaphors. 338 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,840 -Yeah. 339 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,200 Let's do a simile. That's easier. 340 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,520 It's where you make a comparison 341 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,760 using "like" or "as". 342 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,000 So what's Mary like to you? 343 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,040 -She's like a metaphor. -No. No. 344 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,040 -As. As! She's not the metaphor. -No, no! 345 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,920 You are never, ever gonna finish a song! 346 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,360 You stupid prick! 347 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,120 -Check the Tinder messages on Mary's phone. 348 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,920 See where she's meeting him after his gig. 349 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,400 -Don't talk to me like you're in charge, Doofus. 350 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,960 -Why not? 351 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,880 -What's goin' on here? 352 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,040 You're turning into a horrible person for some reason. 353 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,200 Which one's Tinder? 354 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,800 -Ooh. 355 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,040 Turns out Tinder's mostly just pictures of titties. 356 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,640 -That's Mary's profile. 357 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,640 -Okay, this is-- Can you get me out of here? 358 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,320 -Sure. 359 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,800 Ooh! Nice jelliers for an old bird. 360 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,320 -Ahh! 361 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,280 ♪♪ 362 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,120 -We're three hours early. 363 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,360 -Do you want to get a coffee? 364 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,840 -The float's expired. 365 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,920 -Uh, make dinner, do laundry. 366 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,120 -Check, check. 367 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,800 -Give medication, clean house. 368 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,600 -Check, check. Pretty good so far. 369 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,960 -You were gonna write that song. 370 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,600 -It's not on the list. Move on. 371 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,040 -All right, then it's just Peter-Brian's one. 372 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,880 -Remind me what that is again? 373 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:03,560 -Uh, "Don't do anything which leads to Mary's death." 374 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,560 (ring tone plays) 375 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,400 -Unknown number. You got Frank. 376 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,400 -MARY: Frank! 377 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,720 -Oh, my God! Mam? -MARY: You fuckin'... 378 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,960 -Mam! Where are you? Who's phone is this? 379 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,600 Are you okay? -MARY: I'm sleepy. 380 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:24,920 (phone click, beeps) 381 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,480 -We need to talk to that cowboy. 382 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,560 ♪♪ 383 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,480 -Uh, it's still sound check, lads. 384 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:39,360 MAN: ♪ And the lights turned low ♪ 385 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,680 ♪ While I just cry through sorry eyes ♪ 386 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,440 -Let's get him. -No. 387 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:49,560 ♪ Since the day I let you go ♪ 388 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,960 ♪ Oh, nights go on ♪ 389 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,400 ♪ The music's gone ♪ 390 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:59,960 ♪ But the heartache remains ♪ 391 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,200 ♪ 'Cause I lost you ♪ 392 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:08,000 ♪ And I only have myself ♪ 393 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,080 ♪ To blame ♪ 394 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,240 -MAN: Finished, Eoin? 395 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,400 -Hey, donkey dick! 396 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,080 Tell us everything you know about a woman named Mary. 397 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,040 Oh, my God. He's 12. 398 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,560 -The fuck are yous? 399 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,440 -I'm Mary's son. And that song was... 400 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,560 something I could never do. 401 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,800 -Okay. Thank you. And... Mary. 402 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,800 She was-- I-- -Was that your dick in the photo? 403 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,200 -What? I-- That's-- -Was that your dick in the photograph? 404 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,080 -Hey. Hey! -It doesn't matter, Doofus. 405 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,280 All that matters is that she isn't here. 406 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,560 You don't know where she is, do you? 407 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,280 -No. Sorry, man. And-- And I liked her. 408 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,960 You know? She was... 409 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,400 She was different. 410 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,760 -How old are you? You know what? 411 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,200 Don't tell me. 412 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,720 -Mary! -Mary! 413 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,400 -Mary! -Mary! 414 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,720 ♪ I lost you ♪ 415 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,800 -Mary! -Mary! 416 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,920 ♪ And I only have myself to blame ♪ 417 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:21,960 -Mary! 418 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,720 -Mary! -Mary! 419 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,800 ♪ Now the music slows ♪ 420 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,280 -Mary! Mary! 421 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,080 ♪ And the lights are turned low ♪ 422 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,640 -Mary! 423 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,920 ♪ While I just cry through sorry eyes ♪ 424 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,320 -Mary! 425 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,520 -♪ Since the day I let you go ♪ -Mary! Mary! 426 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,080 ♪ Oh, nights go on, the music's gone ♪ 427 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,400 -Well, it's official. She's dead. 428 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,320 ♪ The heartache remains ♪ 429 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,400 -How will we get home? 430 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,800 ♪ I lost you ♪ 431 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:57,640 ♪ And I only have myself ♪ 432 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,800 ♪ To blame ♪ 433 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,560 -Thanks for the lift, guys. How was the cycle? 434 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,800 -BOTH: Fine. 435 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,320 -I'm gonna call the police. 436 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,960 -Can't believe the only thing I could finish was my mam. 437 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,440 -Who's that? -Oh, that's Frank. 438 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,560 He's a fuckin' waste of space. 439 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,440 You're a liability, Frank! -(dog whimpers) 440 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,080 -What's he pawin' at? 441 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,160 (dog whimpers) 442 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,320 -"I can't write songs, Doofus." 443 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,400 "My life's a mess, Doofus." 444 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,800 "I-- I killed my mam, Doof." 445 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:36,800 -PETER-BRIAN: Would you keep it down? 446 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,320 -FRANK: Doofus! 447 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,640 -I don't believe it. 448 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,320 -(groans) 449 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,680 What was in that wine? 450 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,960 Which one of you fuckers is Frank? 451 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,640 -I finished the list. 452 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,960 -MARY: (grunts) 453 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,800 I'm gonna-- 454 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,240 I'm gonna give you a piece of my mind. 455 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,400 It's long overdue. 456 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,760 And it's not gonna be fuckin' pretty. 457 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,320 -Understood, Mary. Yeah, I'll be back in a sec. 458 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:11,800 Just wanna say goodbye to the troops. 459 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,080 -Come back. Come back here! 460 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,440 You little fuckin' shit! 461 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,520 -(sighs) I'm wrecked. Can we go out for breakfast? 462 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,040 -I have to go to work, Aine. 463 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,160 -Ooh. 464 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,320 Bye. 465 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,320 I love you, Frank. 466 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,080 -MARY: Get back in here, you little piece of shit! 467 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,440 I'm gonna tell you what I think of you 468 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,320 once and for all! 469 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,080 -Time to face the music, I guess. 470 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,640 -Oh, no. No, no, no. -MARY: There you are. 471 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,640 No mother should have to say these things to a son, 472 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,920 but I'm shitfaced, 473 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:05,080 and I'm gonna say them once and once only. 474 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,040 From the day you were born-- 475 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,080 ♪♪ 476 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,320 -Ey! That took a while. 477 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,000 All good things, I hope. 478 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,520 -Yeah. I might, uh, take off these clothes now, 479 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,400 I don't feel very nice. 480 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,920 -Oh! One last thing to do. 481 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,920 ♪♪ 482 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,800 -Now. 483 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,320 Thank you, Frank. 484 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,680 You saved her. 485 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,800 The truth is... 486 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,040 you're more capable now of looking after yourself than I am. 487 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,520 You're all grown up. 488 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,520 Now-- (sighs) 489 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,600 You're free to go, little guy. 490 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,160 ♪♪ 491 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,600 Is this a metaphor? 492 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,040 -It just might be. 493 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,600 -(thud) -(dog whimpers) 494 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,160 -(horn honks) 495 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,600 -Droppin' off some dry cleaning. 496 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,720 -(sighs) 497 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,280 Hello, you. 498 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,400 Thanks. 499 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,640 ♪♪ 35309

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