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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,600 -AINE: I'm sorry. 2 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:07,960 I know it must seem very sudden. 3 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,960 -No, no, no, I'm delighted for you. 4 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,360 Delighted. 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,520 When do you... 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,080 move in to his place? 7 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,360 -Mmm... The end of the week. 8 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:24,160 -That's so soon. That's great. 9 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,640 -Part of me will always love you, Frank, 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,720 -but Peter-Brian's-- -Which part? 11 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,520 -Peter-Brian's a doctor. -No, which part? 12 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,720 -Pardon me? -Which part of you will always love me? 13 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,040 -Oh. 14 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,400 My self-loathing, probably. 15 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,280 -Hmm. 16 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,920 -I didn't mean that in a good way. 17 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,240 We're having a party the day I move in-- 18 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:53,840 -Can I move in too? -I don't think so, no. 19 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,600 -Well, I just-- I guess I just always assumed 20 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,840 that when my mam dies it'd be you who takes care of me. 21 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,320 Please don't move in with him. 22 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,040 Please don't move in with him, Aine. 23 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,520 -I'm gonna leave, Frank. 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,280 -Aine? 25 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,200 -Yes, Frank? 26 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,280 -You should take out the recycling. 27 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,400 -Would sir like dessert? 28 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,160 -She's moving on, Doofus. 29 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,680 I'm losing her. 30 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,880 Just the cheesecake, please. 31 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,880 -MARY: And you're sure you can't move in with them? 32 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,680 -Mam, I asked. 33 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,200 -So you're definitely staying with me? 34 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,480 -Yeah, of course I am! -Frank... 35 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,120 I'm having difficulty making the house payments. 36 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,040 -Uh-oh. -So I'm moving my boyfriend in. 37 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,760 -Boyfriend? Who is it? 38 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,600 It's not that guy. 39 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,280 -Hi, guys! I'm Richard. 40 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,040 -Shh! Richard. 41 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,400 I convinced Richard to leave his wife and kids for me. 42 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,800 He'll be paying rent, but realistically, 43 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,080 I'm going to need more money-- 44 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,520 -Whoa, Whoa! I'm paying rent? 45 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,360 -Richard, I'm trying to talk here. 46 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,240 -FRANK: I'm not paying rent, Mam. 47 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:15,560 What's the point in me doing my chores 48 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,160 if I give you my pocket money back as rent? 49 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,440 Come on. 50 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,440 -How many kids do you have, Richard? 51 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,440 -I have three kids. 52 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,720 -You had three kids. 53 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,600 (camera shutter snaps) 54 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,760 (chuckles) 55 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,800 -Look at his face. -(chuckles) 56 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,520 -He just keeps eating cheese. 57 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,240 -He's so fucking posh. 58 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,240 -Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live in a house like that? 59 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,960 -No. We're not here to appreciate 60 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,680 Peter-Brian's house, Doofus. 61 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,280 We're here for dirt, proof that he's cheating on Aine. 62 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,760 -It doesn't look like he's cheating on Aine. 63 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,200 -He's a doctor. 64 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,640 Of course he's cheating on Aine. 65 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,400 All we have to do is catch him in the act. 66 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:01,920 -You still wanna do the flaming bag of dog poo 67 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,040 on his doorstep? 68 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,200 -It's a little unsophisticated, 69 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,520 -but yes, please. -Okay. 70 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,640 -Ta-da! -Jesus Christ. 71 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,920 -What's wrong? -Where to start? 72 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000 First, it's supposed to be a paper bag. 73 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,680 We can't set fire to that, it's a biohazard. 74 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,040 -It kept seeping out through the paper bags. 75 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,280 -Second, why is it liquid dog poo? 76 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:21,920 -It's not liquid dog poo. 77 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,400 -It's not solid, that's for sure. 78 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,080 -No, it's not-- it's not dog poo. 79 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:27,800 -What kind of poo is it? 80 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,640 -It's Doofus poo. 81 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,880 -God, Doofus. 82 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,760 Give me the lighter. 83 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,000 -Watch out, Frank! 84 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,760 -Frank? -Peter-Brian. 85 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,400 -What are you doing here? -I was in the neighborhood, 86 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,760 and I wanted to say congratulations 87 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,560 on Aine moving in and... 88 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,920 -I brought you this. -What is it? 89 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,640 -It's from Doofus. 90 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,960 He's sick. It's a sample. 91 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,760 -Oh, right. 92 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,960 Well, come on in. 93 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,320 Leave the bag, yeah? 94 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,480 -No! No, Frank! Frank, no, no! 95 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,200 -(cawing) -(door closes) 96 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,360 -Wow. This is really nice. 97 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,800 -Yeah, thanks. Whiskey? 98 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,560 Aine goes mad if I touch the stuff, 99 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,200 but, you know, when the cat's away... 100 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:33,320 -Huh. Yeah, maybe one. 101 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,520 (men laughing) 102 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,640 -She can't dance. -She can't dance. 103 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,600 She thinks she can dance, but she can't dance. 104 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,800 -All elbows. -She says I'm a messy drunk. 105 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,560 -That's bullshit. You're a great drunk. 106 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,800 -And she won't let me listen to my podcasts 107 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,120 when we're going to sleep. 108 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,240 -Outrageous. What's a podcast? 109 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,360 (laughs) 110 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,560 -Ah. Look, she's a good girl, really, 111 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,080 and I don't mean that in a patronizing way. 112 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,600 You know, I actually think she'll be very happy here... 113 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,480 -Well, thanks for saying that. 114 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,000 What do you do for fun, Frank? 115 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,560 -Last week me and Doofus did the 7-D experience in town. 116 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,480 You sit in a cramped eight-seater room 117 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,240 and watch animated movies 118 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,600 while an Eastern European man spritzes you 119 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,200 with water to simulate rain. 120 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,600 -That's one of the dimensions. -That sounds... 121 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,240 -The seventh dimension is bubbles. 122 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,080 -You wanna know what I do for fun? 123 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,480 ♪♪ 124 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,440 -This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. 125 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,640 -Yeah, I thought you might like it. 126 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,000 You ever bow and arrowed? 127 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,760 I was competitive in college. 128 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,400 You know, we should go to the range sometime-- 129 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,960 -Tomorrow. What about tomorrow? 130 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,000 -Oh, tomorrow-- -I want to be with you. 131 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,720 -Sorry, was that a bit intense? 132 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,200 -No, I liked it. 133 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,360 -(chuckles) Okay. 134 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,120 -Till tomorrow. -Yeah. Yeah. 135 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,640 Okay. 136 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,280 -Ciao. (sighs) 137 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,440 -(door closes) -Frank! 138 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:12,960 -Doofus! Why are you still here? 139 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,320 Get out of there. 140 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,560 Jesus. 141 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,840 -You don't like him, do you, Frank? 142 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,120 -Who? 143 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,200 -You know who I mean. 144 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,200 -I'm just hanging with him to get dirt. 145 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,800 It's like Tim Roth in "Reservoir Dogs." 146 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,480 I mean, tonight was probably the most fun I've had with anyone in ages, but... 147 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,640 See, he has this knack of putting me totally at ease, 148 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,440 really feel I can be myself when I'm around him. 149 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,200 Like, I actually like myself when I'm with him. 150 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,040 Nothing sexual or anything. I hate him. 151 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,880 Why hasn't he texted? 152 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,240 -(phone buzzes) -(taps keyboard) 153 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,400 -OMG, that's a gas. -What is it? 154 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,200 -Nothing. Just... Peter-Brian's an awful eejit. 155 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,920 -Let me see! Let me see! -No! 156 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,800 -Ciao, guys. Excusez-moi. 157 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,400 -Pardon me. Who might you be? 158 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,600 -Oh, pardon. Me Stephane. 159 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,800 -I'm Frank. This is Doofus. 160 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:20,040 -Hello. -Ah, Frankie! 161 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,080 -We share a room, no? -I hope not. 162 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,640 -(chuckles) -(urine splashing) 163 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,320 -Why hasn't Stephane got any pubes, Frank? 164 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,200 He's old enough. 165 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,920 -Real men, we shave... 166 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,960 for... how you say... 167 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,680 aerodynamics. 168 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:37,840 Huh? (chuckles) 169 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,760 -Huh? -(penis slapping) 170 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,560 -MARY: Stephane, did you find everything? 171 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,880 Oh! Well, you obviously didn't find a towel! 172 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,800 (both laughing) 173 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:52,400 -(penis slapping) -(laughter continues) 174 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,240 -Stephane's a student. He's lodging here too. 175 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,560 Means I'll finally have the mortgage covered. 176 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,800 -Mary, you got anywhere I can put-- 177 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,800 Hello. Who's this? 178 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,280 -Richard, come outside. We need to talk. 179 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,120 -Breathe. 180 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,040 Now draw back... 181 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,240 elbow raised... 182 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:22,520 focus down range. 183 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,240 And now, when you're ready... 184 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,760 release. 185 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,960 -(arrow strikes) -Hey! 186 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,440 I can't believe you finally hit one! Ha-ha! 187 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,400 -Whoo! Got one! -Whoo! 188 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,280 -Doofus! What the hell are you doing? 189 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,840 -Just.. gramming. 190 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,960 -Get the fuck off the range! 191 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,440 Come on. Let's go hit the spa. 192 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,840 -Stop looking at me like that. 193 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,080 -I can't help it. 194 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,520 -So I like him, okay? 195 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:54,880 Get over it. Get in! 196 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,520 -I can't. -Why not? 197 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,240 -I shaved my pubes, okay? -What-- 198 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,640 (groaning) 199 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,160 -Keep your voice down. -Look at him. 200 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,040 -Just get some dirt. -Yeah, I-- 201 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,400 You're not Tim Roth in "Reservoir Dogs," Frank. 202 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,520 You're Kevin Costner in "Dances With Wolves," 203 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,080 seduced by the culture and lifestyle of your enemy. 204 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,880 You're not even trying to break up him and Aine. 205 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,280 -I am. Now would you please just... 206 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,880 -Ahh, fuck it. 207 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,160 That is nice. 208 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,880 Come on, Doofus. Sit down. 209 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,160 -Okay. 210 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,640 (wailing) 211 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,520 Fuck it... 212 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,600 (winces) 213 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,440 So... what's up, Peebs? 214 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,320 -Oh, you know, nothin' much. 215 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,480 -You nervous about Aine moving in? That's natural. 216 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,520 Have you been thinking about other people or anything? You ever cheated on her? 217 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,000 -Sorry, Peebers. I think what Doofus is trying to say-- 218 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,600 -No, no, it's fine. I mean, we're all men here, am I right, guys? 219 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,600 -Yeah, but I don't think-- -We're all dudes here. 220 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,040 Absolutely, right? Listen-- 221 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,040 Whatever you choose to share with us, 222 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,640 our lips are sealed, whether it involves men, women or children. 223 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,040 Not children. 224 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,480 -That was outrageous back there. 225 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,280 -I was sticking to the plan. 226 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,200 -I wish I was in Peter-Brian's red car. 227 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,840 -Look, I know you're upset, okay? 228 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,640 But I've got something in my pocket that might cheer you up. 229 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,080 Oh, my pubes. 230 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,760 Ta-da. Two tickets... 231 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,600 for you and me, for the Viking Splash Tour. 232 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,360 What do you say? 233 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,160 -I don't know, Doofus. 234 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,880 I'm into mature stuff now, like archery and whiskey. 235 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,240 And two tickets? What about PB? 236 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,160 -I wanted to do something for us, Frank. 237 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,000 What's happening to us? 238 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,520 -Doofus, I'm sorry. 239 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,120 I would love to come to the Viking Splash Tour with you. 240 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,520 -I love you, Frank. 241 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,160 -You're one of my best friends. 242 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,160 -(crowd cheering) -(horn honking) 243 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,480 -MAN: Three, two, one! -(crowd cheers) 244 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,200 (horn honks) 245 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,400 -Aw man! This is great! 246 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,520 -Meh. 247 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,640 -You're not making an effort, Frank. 248 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,640 -I'm trying, Doofus, but this feels... 249 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,240 plebeian or something. 250 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,320 I've to change for the wine tasting later, how do I get off? 251 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,080 -You can't get off. We're approaching the water. 252 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,000 -I guess I'm staying on then. Great. 253 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,520 -(crowd cheers) -(water splashes) 254 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,480 -Might get a podcast going. 255 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,520 -What's a podcast? 256 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,800 Can I come to the wine tasting too, please? 257 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,640 -MAN: Three, two, one! 258 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,200 (all cheering) 259 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,280 -Ma, I'm heading out for a bit. 260 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,840 -Bye, Frankie. -Ciao, Frankie. 261 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,840 -Good night, Richard. 262 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,080 -Good night, Frank. 263 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,240 -FRANK: I just think we're growing apart. 264 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,680 I mean, Doofus wouldn't know a red wine 265 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,800 from a-- a different red wine. 266 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,640 Easy there, pal. Aren't you supposed to taste and spit? 267 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,640 Ah, fuck it. The week I've had? 268 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,800 Patients moaning, moaning. 269 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,280 "Oh, my foot's broken." 270 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,160 "Ahhh, what's this rash?" 271 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,560 -Right, that does seem annoying, although you are a doctor. 272 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,920 Yech! A "woman" came in today, all, 273 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,640 "I'm unhappy. I don't feel beautiful." 274 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,320 I gave her a prescription that said, "Don't wear leggings." 275 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,600 She said, "Tanks." 276 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,640 That's the level of person we're dealing with here you know? 277 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,400 -You don't like being a doctor? 278 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,440 -Yeah, telling people you're a doctor is great, 279 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,120 but actually doing the work's a fucking nightmare. 280 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,760 That's what was so sweet about college. 281 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,920 -Didn't you have to study a lot? 282 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,200 -And the women... Jesus. 283 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,840 Now I feel like I'm slowing down. 284 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,120 -Look, Aine's moving in. 285 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,000 You'll settle down. 286 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,120 And we'll be besties. 287 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,480 I know it's soon to say, but let's call a spade a spade. 288 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,160 I might move in. 289 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:12,640 -You have no idea what my life was like before Aine. 290 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,320 Vag. 291 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,920 Vag, vag, everywhere. 292 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,960 And now? Not a drop to drink. 293 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,440 -Peebster, I don't think I should be hearing this. 294 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,360 -You listen! Aine suspects I've been unfaithful, 295 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,760 -and I haven't. -Right. Good! 296 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,280 -Except the worst part is I have. 297 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,000 Only once. 298 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,000 A girl at the bar. 299 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,000 Another girl at the gym. 300 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,040 And several patients. But that's a bigger deal. 301 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:41,560 That's trouble. But they're the only ones, all right? 302 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,400 Well, no, there were loads more, 303 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,040 but those were the only ones Aine suspects. 304 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,320 Well, no, she suspects it's a much bigger problem, and it is. 305 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,960 Ah, Christ, Frank, I'm fucked! 306 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,920 -Easy, easy. Easy, there. -(ringtone plays) 307 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,480 -Easy. -(ringtone plays) 308 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,840 -I'm sorry. Please don't tell Aine. 309 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,440 (doorbell chimes) 310 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,280 -Frank, thanks for coming. 311 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,800 -(door closes) -Can I get you anything? 312 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,160 -Tea, coffee? -Maybe a latte. 313 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,160 -That would take ages. -I know you have a milk frother, Aine. 314 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,720 -Would you like a regular coffee? 315 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,280 -Is it instant? -Yes. 316 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,640 -Just a water, please. Sparkling. 317 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,080 -So... about Peter-Brian. 318 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,120 -Look, I don't wanna say this. 319 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,880 I've been spying on him. 320 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,880 I thought he was cheating on you, 321 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,960 and I was trying to collect some hard evidence and-- 322 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,680 -And? 323 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,760 -Basically, he's clean. 324 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,320 Okay? The man's a boy scout and not in a bad way. 325 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,240 -Frank, I've been worried about Peter-Brian too, 326 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,160 so I've been doing a little spying of my own. 327 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,480 I asked Doofus to keep tabs on him. 328 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,520 -Doofus? -He sent me these today. 329 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,640 -Aine, my little house mouse... 330 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,520 these aren't real. 331 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,360 -Of course they're not real. 332 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,560 But seeing them made me realize Peter-Brian is just-- 333 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,640 He's just so fucking posh. 334 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,920 And I don't wanna live with-- 335 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,640 And here we are, 336 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,760 and here you are. 337 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,080 And I can't remember why we broke up. 338 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,200 -You wouldn't do anal. -It was more than that. 339 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,280 -No. That was the deal breaker for me. 340 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:42,200 Aine, we've been over this. 341 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,440 Darling, I don't want you. 342 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:44,800 I want you to be unhappy. 343 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,400 -Yeah, you keep saying that, Frank, 344 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,600 but you keep coming back. 345 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,080 -Sing me a song, Frank. -What? 346 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,680 Sing me a song like the good old days. 347 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,240 Sing me a song, Frank. Come on sing it. 348 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,760 -♪ Please leave me alone ♪ -Yes. 349 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,640 How about one last bit of rough before I move in with fancy pants? 350 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,280 -No, Aine, I can't. -What if the anus was back on the table? 351 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,000 -Aine, no. Please. 352 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,080 I couldn't do that to someone I respect. 353 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,240 -But it's all you used to talk about! 354 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,280 -I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about Peter-Brian. 355 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,200 I respect him too damn much. 356 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,640 I want him to be my best friend, and God willing-- 357 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,400 I know it's early, but I think if he and I spend enough time together-- 358 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,920 -You're pathetic. -You're desperate. 359 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,760 -Doofus, Doofus! 360 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,280 Doofus, Doofus, Doofus! 361 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,800 Doofus, Doofus, Doofus, Doofus! 362 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,400 Doofus, Doofus, Doofus, Doofus, Doofus! 363 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,120 -Easy, easy, Frank, you'll wake my parents. 364 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,400 -What was with those photos of PB? 365 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,520 -Oh! Did she buy them? -No! 366 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:35,680 I can't believe you hid behind my back. 367 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,280 -You're the one who went rogue! 368 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,960 -My relationship with Peter-Brian is very nuanced. 369 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,200 You know what? Forget Kevin Costner in "Dances with Wolves." 370 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,360 You're Kevin Costner in "Waterworld." 371 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,760 Shit! You and me, we're done. 372 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,120 -Fine! Have fun with your new best friend! 373 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,160 -I will have fun with my new best friend! 374 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,280 We're going to Avoca for lunch on Wednesday, 375 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,600 and then afterwards we're probably gonna go 376 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,880 to the Southside for a cheeseboard. 377 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,840 -I don't even know you anymore. 378 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,680 -STEPHANE: What's wrong, Frankie? 379 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,080 -I don't know, Stephane. 380 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,640 I started the day with two besties, 381 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,760 but I'm pretty sure I can only have one. 382 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,440 -What is a bestie? 383 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,880 The guy who massage you in the bath? Your bitch? 384 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,920 -That was Doofus. 385 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,400 But now I think I want Peter-Brian to be my bestie instead. 386 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,040 -Why? -I don't know. 387 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,200 He might be an awful person, but his lifestyle is better. 388 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:38,200 -So you rather be his Doofus, than have Doofus be yours? 389 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,480 Let me say, uh, 390 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,240 "It is better to reign in Hell 391 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,560 than serve in Heaven." 392 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,680 -Did you just come up with that? -It's Milton. 393 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,080 -The sterilizer? -No. 394 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,680 Well, thank you for sharing your native wisdom with me, Stephane. 395 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,960 You're a very wise French man. 396 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,400 -Good night, Frankie. 397 00:17:58,480 --> 00:17:59,760 -Good night, Dad. 398 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,160 (weeping) 399 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,280 -Richard, pet? -Yes, Frank? 400 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:12,560 -Could you keep it down? 401 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,080 -My babies. 402 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,680 I gotta get back to my babies. 403 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,720 ♪♪ (polka) 404 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,560 -Whoa, there, Padraig! Careful there! 405 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,080 Okay! 406 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,200 -DOOFUS: Hello, Frank. It's quite a housewarming. 407 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,920 -FRANK: Quite. 408 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,760 I hear there'll have a chocolate fountain later. 409 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,160 -Well, I'm just here to wish them well. 410 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,000 I won't cause any bother. 411 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,480 -Doofus-- -I just want you to be happy, Frank. 412 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,280 I know he's your bestie now, and I won't stand in your way. 413 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,320 I love you, so I'll let you go. 414 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,320 -Thanks for coming, Frank. 415 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,640 -It's no problem, my little Pokemon. 416 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,080 You're still going through with it? 417 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,160 -Yeah. 418 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,000 Yeah, I had a chat with Peter, and... 419 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,720 Promise me you won't tell anyone about my little wobble last night. 420 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,480 It was just nerves. 421 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,560 -Just nerves. -(chuckles) 422 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,760 -Your secret's safe with me. 423 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,320 -(metal clanging) -PETER-BRIAN: Guys? 424 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,920 -Guys? -Oh, God. 425 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,440 -Can I say a couple of words? 426 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,640 Thanks for coming, everyone. 427 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:54,160 Moving in is a big step for us, for me and Aine, 428 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,000 but it's the right one, I'm pretty sure. 429 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,560 You know, in my business, a lot of people need my help. 430 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,280 But outside office hours, who really needs me? 431 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,880 You know? Who wants me? 432 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,760 That woman. Aine. 433 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,440 She needs me. 434 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,640 All hours of the fucking day. 435 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,440 She's so clingy. It's-- It's-- 436 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:17,760 You know what? Screw it. 437 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,720 It's really fucking... 438 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,080 nice. 439 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,720 So why stop with a move, you know? 440 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,720 Fuck it, yeah. Fuck it! 441 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,320 Aine, darling! 442 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,160 Aine Finnegan, 443 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,320 will you marry me? 444 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,320 -(crowd murmurs) -(coughs) 445 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,200 (scattered applause) 446 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,200 (cheering, applause) 447 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,520 Congratulations, darling. 448 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,240 -What? 449 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,520 -Frank! -Congratulations, man. 450 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,400 -You and me, Frankie boy. 451 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,320 I gotta be honest, 452 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,280 I did not plan to do that just now. 453 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,640 I think I've had one too many of these... again. 454 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,240 -(chuckles) -Bring it in, big guy. 455 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,800 -I will never be your Doofus. -What? 456 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,760 -And if you keep fucking around on Aine, 457 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,920 I'll tell her you slept with your patients. 458 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,440 That's not just a divorce, that's your whole job gone. 459 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,520 -No, Frank, you wouldn't do that. 460 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,080 -You were the first man I ever wanted to be like. 461 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,640 -What? 462 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,520 (scoffs) 463 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,560 -Doofus. 464 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,240 Doofus! 465 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,480 -I need you back, Frank. He has to go. 466 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,480 -Put down the firearm. He's not my friend anymore. 467 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,520 -Really? -He's a knob-end. You were right. 468 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,640 They're getting married, Doofus. 469 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,760 -So we're besties again? 470 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,680 -Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. 471 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,360 -Did you come up with that? 472 00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,720 -Yeah. 473 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,760 -FRANK: Sorry about what I said before. 474 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,840 You're not like Kevin Costner in "Waterworld." 475 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,320 You're like Kevin Costner in "The Bodyguard." 476 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,400 -DOOFUS: Ah! You're like Kevin Costner in "The Untouchables." 477 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,240 -You're like Kevin Costner in "Field of Dreams." 478 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,160 -You're like Kevin Costner in "Tin Cup." 479 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,720 -Haven't seen it. 480 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,600 You're like Kevin Costner in "Tombstone." 481 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,160 -That was Kurt Russell. 482 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,600 You're like, eh... 483 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,000 Kevin Costner in "Mr. Brooks." 484 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,760 -Haven't seen that, either. 485 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:35,840 -It's really good. 486 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,240 (groans) 487 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,920 -Oh, pubes got you? 488 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,960 -Yes. There's blood in me undies. 489 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,120 ♪♪ 35015

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