All language subtitles for Frank.of.Ireland.S01E01_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan Download
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:06,960 ♪♪ 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:12,840 ♪ I don't have plans and schemes ♪ 3 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:18,880 ♪ And I don't have hopes and dreams ♪ 4 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:26,520 ♪ I don't have anything ♪ 5 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:32,240 ♪ Since I don't ♪ 6 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,560 ♪ Have you ♪ 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,640 -Fuck. 8 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:39,360 -WOMAN: I cannot believe you did it again. 9 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,440 -(snoring) -Mam. 10 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,000 -Oh, you're so boring. 11 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,760 How many times you gonna do this with her? 12 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,680 It's like "Return of the Living Dead." 13 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,160 (groaning) 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,480 -Her grandma died yesterday. 15 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,360 -Oh. Pity shag. 16 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,360 -Mm-mm. We're invited to the wake. 17 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,680 -Oh, yeah. Wakey-wakey. 18 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,800 -Shove it up your jack, Mary. 19 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,080 (groans) 20 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:07,800 (sighs) 21 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,200 Oh... 22 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,880 -Your grandma had a long life, Aine. 23 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,920 -I can't believe I rode you again. 24 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,440 -Oh. 25 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,280 -Last night was a mistake. 26 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,280 -Absolutely. Why? 27 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,960 -For the last couple of weeks, Frank, 28 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:32,520 I've been-- I've been seeing someone. 29 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,080 A doctor. 30 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,280 -Oh, my God. 31 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,080 Is it serious? 32 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:40,160 -It might be. 33 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,440 -Do I need to get tested? 34 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,800 -No, Frank. I've been seeing him. 35 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,400 We've been seeing each other. 36 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,680 -So, it is serious. 37 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,840 Do I need to get tested or not? 38 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,920 -I have to go. 39 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,680 -That was the last time. -Absolutely. 40 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,800 Hey. Do you want to get brunch? 41 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,920 ♪♪ 42 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,720 FRANK: "Thank God for the rain. 43 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,680 "It washes the crap off the sidewalk. 44 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,440 "Someday, a big rain will wash away 45 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,600 all this scum on the street. 46 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,520 "Loneliness follows me wherever I go. 47 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,880 "I am... 48 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,840 God's lonely man." 49 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,160 ♪♪ 50 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,960 Robert DeNiro. "Taxi Driver." 51 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,080 -Very good. 52 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,080 -It's a great movie. Have you seen it? 53 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,880 -Nope. Don't really want to. 54 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,960 -"You never had no pussy like that. 55 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,040 "You could do whatever you like with her, you could--" 56 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:50,000 (sirens wailing) 57 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:54,200 "She'll get your cock so hard she'll make it explode." 58 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:57,680 (indistinct dialog on radio) 59 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,440 -I was doin' Harvey Keitel. -Oh. 60 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,120 -FRANK: Doofus! 61 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,000 -(honks horn) -Hey! 62 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,760 -Doofus! -Get back, will ya? 63 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,520 -Doofus. Doofus. 64 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,040 (horn honks) 65 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,000 -Frank? -The wake, Doofus, the wake. 66 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,360 -(horn honks) -I can't, Frank. 67 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,360 -I'll be fired. -(horn honks) 68 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,560 -I have to be back before lunch. 69 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,000 Frank. 70 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,080 What's the plan, Frank? 71 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,000 -You hawk these by the buffet. 72 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,080 I'll press the flesh, check out the corpse. 73 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:35,320 -Get your Duke Governs EP, two for a fiver. 74 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,760 -Christ, Doofus. -St. Francis of Assisi 75 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,800 come to preach the simple life. 76 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,920 -Mam, what are you doin' here? You said you couldn't give me a lift. 77 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,760 -Free booze. Bit of craic. 78 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,760 -It's lovely to see ya, Frank. It means so much to Aine. 79 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,000 -Myself and Aine are just friends now, Padraig, 80 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,240 I've been very clear. The last thing I want to do is 81 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,920 get back with that nightmare you call a daughter. 82 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,080 Now, where's the corpse? 83 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,160 -Me mam? -Your mam. Yeah. 84 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:58,760 -DOOFUS: They've got trifle, Frank. 85 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,040 -Sandra's not your mam anymore. 86 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,960 You know, from this day forward, 87 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,080 she's-- she's just a dead old lady. 88 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,200 Well, I hope that helps. 89 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,000 -Not really. -Oh... 90 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,640 -I wanted to ask you something, Frank. 91 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,800 Would you do us the very great honor 92 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,200 of playing a song at her funeral? 93 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:18,240 -What? -Holy shit. A gig? 94 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,800 -No, not a gig, no. No, I was thinkin' more like 95 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,480 one song, you know, at the funeral. 96 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,040 -He'll fuck it up, Padraig. 97 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,320 -Doofus, he wants me to play a gig. 98 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,480 -A gig? Holy shitballs. Woo! 99 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,720 Give me high five, buddy. 100 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,200 -You know what? That sounds great. 101 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,200 Let-- Let me think about it, Padraig, okay? 102 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,600 It's just-- It's been a while since I've actually, um-- 103 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,000 -Mm-hm. -Can I get back to you? 104 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,440 It's just-- Yeah. Where's Aine? 105 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,200 -She's inside with her new boyfriend. 106 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,560 -Her new what? 107 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,720 Why didn't someone tell me? Have they-- 108 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,200 Have they done it yet? -I hope not. 109 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,880 He does MMA. 110 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,600 -Duke Governs, back in the game! 111 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,240 ♪♪ 112 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,080 -Frank. -What's this? Who's this? 113 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,440 Oh, my God, that's so weird. 114 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,240 -Peter-Brian. Thanks for coming. 115 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,600 -Oh, Peter-Brian. Thanks for coming. 116 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,520 Sorry, it's just I've never seen a stiff before. 117 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,440 She looks terrible. Is she stuffed? 118 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:11,880 -She's not stuffed, Frank. 119 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,120 -She looks so realistic. 120 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,360 What's goin' on here? How did this happen? 121 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,600 -Doctor said it was organ failure. 122 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,680 -Not this. This. 123 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,800 -Oh. Well, it's, uh-- 124 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,000 It's kind of a mad story, actually. 125 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,640 -(mocking) Mad story, actually. 126 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,920 -I was walking down Thomas Street a few weeks ago, 127 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,160 and all of a sudden, I see this vision. 128 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,160 And she's being hassled by some awful thugs, so I, um-- 129 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,000 Well, look, I-- I stepped in. 130 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,360 -Don't be so modest, Peter-Brian. 131 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,720 -He does MMA. -Oh, I heard. 132 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,560 And I know your type. Underground ravings. 133 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,680 All night sex parties. Drinkin' way too much water. 134 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:47,760 Shittin' yourself. 135 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:51,240 -Are you thinking of MDMA? 136 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,360 -No. -MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts. 137 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,440 -I know what it stands for. Well, I'm a musician. 138 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,680 -I'm sure Aine told you. -Well, she said you-- 139 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,880 You hadn't played in quite a while. 140 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,480 -I'm actually playing the funeral tomorrow. 141 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,920 -What? Frank, no. -What's your jam, man? 142 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,560 -Don't bond with him. -I'm a singer-songwriter. 143 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,800 I go under the moniker 144 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,720 Duke Governs and the Legislators. 145 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,320 The last few years, I've been working on 146 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,320 a 32-track double album about Ireland 147 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,920 in which each song is named after a single county. 148 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,440 I've only got the title so far, but I just came up with 149 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,800 "Blood Is Thicker Than Waterford," so you're welcome. 150 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,560 What do you do when you're not preying on vagrants, 151 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,560 and gettin' off your tits? 152 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,000 -I'm a doctor. 153 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,760 -So am I. 154 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,880 -You're not a doctor, Frank. -I'm gonna do MDMA. 155 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,400 -MMA. -And you definitely don't do MMA. 156 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,840 -I do. Yeah. (grunts) 157 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,200 -Are you a doctor, dude? -No. 158 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,320 (grunting) 159 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,160 -That's Frank. 160 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,160 ♪♪ 161 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,520 -Did you know that taking Ecstasy-- 162 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,040 also known as dabbing or bombing-- 163 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:00,480 -is considered a gateway drug-- -He doesn't do Ecstasy. 164 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,080 -It stands for Mixed Martial Arts. -Mixed Martial Arts. 165 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,800 I know. 166 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,000 You're rushing things, Aine. We only broke off-- 167 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,120 -Six years ago. -Six years ago, 168 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,240 and all of a sudden you're out gallivanting with a yoked up party boy. 169 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,080 -It doesn't mean Ecstasy. -I know. 170 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,920 What was all that last night? 171 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,400 -I was upset about my grandma. 172 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,480 -Bullshit. 173 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,480 -Frank, you don't want me. 174 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,520 You just want me to be unhappy without you. 175 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,520 -Exactly. So the thing you have going with Barry-Peter-- 176 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,280 -Peter-Brian. -It's 100 percent unacceptable. 177 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,640 -You broke up with me because-- 178 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,080 because I wouldn't do anal. 179 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,800 -A relationship should be give and take. 180 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,960 Give and take. 181 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,280 -Are you guys goin' out again? 182 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,240 -We'll see, Doofus, we'll see. -No, Frank, it's over. 183 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:45,880 -If you want Billy-Barry in there, 184 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,360 any funny stuff off my gig tomorrow, 185 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,600 I'll knock his bloody block off. 186 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:50,680 -I'd like to see you try. 187 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,720 -(sighs) -I need to learn MMA before the funeral. 188 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,200 -Book it now. -No, I'm due back at work, Frank, they'll sack me. 189 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,640 -MMA, now. -Shouldn't you rehearse instead? 190 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,680 -MMA. Now, now, now! -Okay. 191 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,520 -You ever seen the film "Taxi Driver"? 192 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,640 -No. -Amazing movie. 193 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,600 In a world gone bananas, 194 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,520 one sane man stands up for what's right. 195 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,960 "Do you know what he called you? 196 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,920 He called you a little piece of chicken." 197 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,480 -Don't really know the film so-- 198 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:28,960 -"You never had no pussy like that! 199 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,000 -"You can do-- -(sirens wailing) 200 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,880 "Man, she'll get your cock so hard, she'll make it explode." 201 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,200 -I was doin' Harvey Keitel. -He was doin' Harvey Keitel. 202 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,600 -What time is it? 203 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,200 Might have a quick cry. 204 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,280 (Frank sobbing) 205 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,080 -Five more minutes, Frank. 206 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,640 -Okay. (sobbing) 207 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,760 ♪♪ 208 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,760 -This is the last time I take time off work, Frank. 209 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,080 They, uh-- They said if I miss one more day, 210 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,520 I'm out on my ear. 211 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,320 -Holy shit. -(hissing) 212 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,320 -Look at her. -(hissing, grunting) 213 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,880 ♪♪ 214 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,400 -I love her, Frank. 215 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,000 I love her. 216 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,280 -Frank, is it? 217 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,760 -Yes, miss. -Nicola. 218 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,520 I'll be your trainer today. 219 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,640 Right. 220 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:50,880 Let's start in the cage, boys. 221 00:09:58,760 --> 00:09:59,760 Lock it. 222 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,960 So, lads, what are you lookin' to get out of this? 223 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,440 -To defend myself against bullies. 224 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,440 -To defend myself against doctors. -Okay. 225 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,120 -Can you teach me how to do a fish hook, Nicola? 226 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,160 -It's for a funeral. -Yeah, fish hooks are banned. 227 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,760 It said on your form you've done a bit of sparring, Doofus. 228 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,360 -Uh, yeah, well, I, um-- I used to work, uh, 229 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,600 part time in a Spar, so it was only light sparring. 230 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,400 I'm a wee bit rusty is the thing, Nicola. 231 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,720 -Wah-wah. I'm a wee bit rusty, Nicola. 232 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,960 Oil me up. Cover me in oil. 233 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,480 (grunts) Fuckin' hell! 234 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,840 -That hurt? -No. 235 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,480 Nicola. Yeah, that's a-- that's a nice name. 236 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,600 -Are you busy tomorrow or-- -Hey, don't-- (grunts) 237 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,600 Oh, wow. Oh, man, that hurts. 238 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,480 -Straight left to the chest. Watch out for that Doofus, yeah? 239 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,640 -Thank you. -Oh, yeah! 240 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,880 Champion of everything. (grunts) 241 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,880 Fuckin' hell! -It's a liver shot, it's deadly. 242 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,040 -(grunts) 243 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,520 -Is that a boner? 244 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,760 -Yeah. I don't know, that's-- 245 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:58,880 that's a strange one. 246 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,280 -(grunts) -(groans) 247 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,640 -DOOFUS: I'm sorry. You're so pretty. 248 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,080 -You little-- -Nice to meet ya, Nicola. 249 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,880 (grunting) 250 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,120 (screaming) 251 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,200 -Nicola. -(groans) Help me, Frank. 252 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,000 -Would you like to go for a drink with me tonight? 253 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,800 -(groans) Frank, you have to rehearse. 254 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,960 -Yeah, why not. (grunts) 255 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,480 -(farting) 256 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,680 -FRANK: If the date goes well tonight, 257 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,400 I might ask her to the funeral. 258 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,040 She's the perfect combo of protection and arm candy. 259 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,480 -But I bagsied her. 260 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,000 -You kicked her in the gee, Doofus. 261 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,440 -I was jealous. 262 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,800 -See you in the mornin'. 263 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,640 -Oh, no, I can't go, Frank, my work. 264 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,320 -(door closes) 265 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,360 -(sighs) 266 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,880 ♪♪ 267 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,440 -(thudding) 268 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,560 -Hey. 269 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,560 -What's goin' on? -Nothing. 270 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,440 Frank. 271 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,680 -(scoffs) 272 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,360 -H-- How are you, Frank? 273 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,920 -Padraig. 274 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,760 -What are you doin' here? -Grieving. 275 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,520 -He just looked so sad. 276 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,960 -She's a wonderful woman, your mother. 277 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,000 She took me in. She loved me. 278 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,200 -Oh, God. 279 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,240 -She made me feel again. 280 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,760 -Yeah. Oh, Mam. I've decided. 281 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,680 I'm playin' the funeral. -You'll do it? 282 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,720 Oh, Frank. That's great news. 283 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,600 What a family. 284 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,320 -Why don't you boys take it outside 285 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,640 and discuss the details? 286 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,480 Give Mary some alone time. 287 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,800 -Yeah. Let's get you into some pants. 288 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,720 -The last thing we want at a comeback concert-- 289 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,240 -My mam's not coming back. 290 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,520 -Is for me to get up there and sing something boring. 291 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,640 You know? Like, I just came up with a title, 292 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,240 "The Witches of East Wicklow," 293 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,880 which I really think is a quite good idea. 294 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,600 -Have you written it or have you just come up with a title? 295 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,960 -Just come up with a title. 296 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,920 -The funeral is tomorrow, we don't have time. 297 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,840 You need to rehearse. -What did you have in mind? 298 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,760 -Well, Mam always loved "The Lord Is My Shepherd." 299 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,160 -Jesus, Padraig. Buzz kill. 300 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,280 Let me play something that people can sing along to. 301 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,360 I Googled some heartbreaking ballads, 302 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,600 which are actually popular with our target audience of elderly mourners. 303 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,120 So how about, "My Heart Will Go On"? 304 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,160 -Well, Mam died from the-- the heart trouble, 305 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,200 I never knew-- -Okay, fair enough. 306 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,520 "How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You"? 307 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,560 -She was diabetic. -Right. 308 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,240 -"You'll Never Walk Alone"? -Two things. 309 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,440 -It was by Jerry and the Pacemakers. -Oh, God. 310 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,880 -And she lost her left foot to diabetes, 311 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,840 so the whole idea of walking alone-- 312 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,360 -"Unforgettable"? -Towards the end, Frank, you know, her memory wasn't-- 313 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,320 -You need to work with me on this, Padraig. 314 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,200 What about, 315 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,000 ♪ There was an old man called Michael Finnegan... ♪ 316 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,840 Same second name. 317 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,640 ♪ She grew whiskers on her chin again ♪ 318 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,840 Fuck it! 319 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,160 "The Lord Is My Shepherd" it is. 320 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,000 You happy now? -Yes. Thanks. 321 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,840 Listen, is Mary coming tomorrow? 322 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,920 There's something special about that woman. 323 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,320 -Yeah. I better go. 324 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,000 -Okay, go. And practice the song. 325 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,760 -Yeah. Yeah, practice the song. 326 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,840 ♪♪ 327 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,000 -Sorry I'm late. I had to stop for a cry. 328 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,800 -Yeah. No worries. I drank your pint. 329 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,960 Next to me, little man. 330 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,680 -Yeah, just-- 331 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,640 Listen, I can't stay long, I've got a gig in the morning. 332 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,560 -A gig. Really? 333 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,280 -Yeah, I have to rehearse the song, too. 334 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,680 Let's just take it easy. Just gonna have one pint, 335 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,840 and then head home. 336 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:57,800 -Hey. 337 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,520 Do you want some MDMA? 338 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,800 ♪ The Lord is my shepherd, I'll not want ♪ 339 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:09,480 ♪ He makes me down to lie ♪ 340 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,120 ♪ In pastures green he leadeth me ♪ 341 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,880 ♪ The quiet waters by ♪ 342 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:21,880 ♪♪ 343 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,680 (woman screaming) 344 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,480 ♪♪ 345 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:27,560 (screaming) 346 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,560 ♪ Within the paths of righteousness ♪ 347 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,520 ♪ For his own namesake ♪ 348 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:42,080 -Jesus Christ, no! (indistinct shouting) 349 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,880 ♪♪ 350 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,400 -I really need to learn that song. 351 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,480 -Fuck that. Red or white? 352 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,600 -What? -Never mind. 353 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,520 Rosé. 354 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,720 ♪♪ 355 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,080 -Who's this, Frank? 356 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,040 -My MDMA instructor. 357 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,720 -And what's she doing here? 358 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,840 -Teaching me the basics of unarmed combat. 359 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,760 -Right. -Ahh! 360 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,120 -You know, I dated a fella once 361 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,120 who was into erotic asphyxiation. 362 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,920 Didn't work out in the end. 363 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,480 He needed room to breathe. 364 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,880 -He couldn't breathe. -I get it. 365 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,800 -I was chokin' him when I was-- -I get it, Mam. 366 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,680 -I don't think you should play the funeral, pet. 367 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,680 -Last time you-- -It's my destiny. 368 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,080 I am destiny's child. 369 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,840 -We talked about this, Frank. The cycle. 370 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,360 Never moving on. Still living at home. 371 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,520 -You think I want to stay in this hell hole? 372 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,600 I'm looking after you. 373 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,400 I'm the dutiful son personified. 374 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,960 -You really believe that? 375 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,000 All right, Frank. 376 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,600 Well, it's your funeral. 377 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:08,680 -Uh... 378 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,800 ♪♪ 379 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:20,920 -Wha-- What kind of gig is this? 380 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,280 -Huh? 381 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,520 -Is this a funeral? -Yeah. Problem? 382 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,280 -Sellin' the EPs, Doofus. -No. 383 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,000 -Oh, for fuck's sake. 384 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,040 -I-- I got fired from work, Frank. 385 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,920 -Frank, you're late. Who's this? 386 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,160 Where's Mary? Are you on drugs? 387 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,480 -Padraig, I've a lot on my plate right now, okay? 388 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:39,560 What's the story with sound check? 389 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,560 -Sound check? 390 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:42,880 The funeral's started. 391 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,040 Jesus' sake. Amateur hour. 392 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,520 -Hi. You look nice. 393 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,280 -PRIEST: So we thank you for joining us today 394 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,800 to celebrate the life of Sandra Finnegan. 395 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,320 -(whispering) May peace be with you. 396 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,040 -PRIEST: ...we have a special friend... 397 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,240 -May peace be with you. Yeah. -PRIEST: Frank Marron, 398 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,440 also known as Duke Governs, 399 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,160 -who is going to sing Sandra's favorite song-- -May peace be with you. 400 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,320 -"The Lord Is My Shepherd." -FRANK: May peace be with you. 401 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:15,280 -(organ plays) -I'm not singing that horseshit. 402 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,520 I'm doing "Every Breath You Take." 403 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,680 -No, no, no. She had emphysema. 404 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,760 -She had everything under the fuckin' sun, Padraig. 405 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,800 Fine. 406 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,640 I'll freestyle this motherfucker. 407 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,640 ♪♪ 408 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:34,080 (organ plays dissonant chords) 409 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,520 -Well, that's the second worst case of organ failure this week. 410 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,280 (laughs) 411 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,320 Here's a little ditty for God's sickest woman. 412 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,320 -Woo! 413 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,800 (Frank clears his throat) 414 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:13,400 ♪ There was an old man called Sandra Finnegan ♪ 415 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:20,560 -♪ She grew whiskers on her chin again ♪ 416 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,320 ♪ The wind came out and blew them in again ♪ 417 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,000 -(strums guitar) -Nope. 418 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,080 ♪ Poor old Sandra Finnegan, begin again ♪ 419 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,680 Everybody! 420 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:34,040 ♪ There was an old man called Sandra Finnegan ♪ 421 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,800 -For God's sake. 422 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,880 -What? What? -You're ruining this. 423 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,320 -Shut up, Aine. 424 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,720 Sandra hated you anyway. 425 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,000 -Frank. It is not an appropriate song. 426 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,240 -What are you talkin' about? She had a beard. 427 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,320 -You need to stop, dude. -Oh! 428 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,920 What are you gonna do about it, tough guy? 429 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,680 I've got protection with me this time. 430 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,440 Everybody, meet Nicola. 431 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,040 She's my new girlfriend- slash-bodyguard. 432 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,200 She's built like a brick shithouse, 433 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:03,760 and she's got a black belt in lovemaking, doggie style. 434 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,200 Nicki, sic 'em! 435 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,160 -Nope. -This is all totally out of order, Frank. 436 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,920 -Don't talk to me about out of order, Padraig, 437 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,040 you were halfway up my mam yesterday. 438 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,160 -(gasping) 439 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,800 -Now, I really want to 440 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,160 hear you on this next verse. Okay? 441 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,320 ♪ There was an old man called Sandra Finnegan ♪ 442 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,320 -Fish hook, you bastard. -(grunts) 443 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,000 -Hey, hey, they're banned! 444 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,200 -(gagging) -Oh, no, he's gettin' a boner. 445 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,040 -FRANK: Help, Doofus, please. (gagging) 446 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,760 -I'm sorry, you're so beautiful. 447 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,320 Fuckin'-- Oh, no, you're not! 448 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,000 -(screaming) -(groaning) 449 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,080 (screaming) 450 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,000 -Why does he have a boner? 451 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,320 (screaming) 452 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,520 -I'll tell him to move on, okay? -Okay. 453 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,320 -Get your Duke Governs EPs! 454 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,400 Two for a fiver! 455 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,480 -Hey. Look. 456 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,880 I'm sorry. 457 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,640 -I want you to go. Okay? 458 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:05,800 -Okay. 459 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,200 -Ah! I'm with PB now, all right? 460 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,760 And he treats me well. 461 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,520 He's a doctor. 462 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,680 He doesn't even ask about anal. 463 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,400 Unless he's had a beer, and even then... 464 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,560 he doesn't push it. 465 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,520 -Tell him you have to push it. 466 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:22,760 Otherwise, it doesn't go in. 467 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,000 (grunts) 468 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,080 (car horn honks) 469 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,880 -(sighs) Thanks for the lift. 470 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,680 My taxi account's been suspended. 471 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,080 -How'd it go? 472 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,320 -Yeah, okay, I think. 473 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,880 Mam, why does everything turn out shit for me? 474 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,000 Is it because I'm... 475 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,120 God's lonely man? 476 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,880 -It's because you're a prick, Frank. 477 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,720 -Oh. 478 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,600 -You have to learn to think of other people's feelings. 479 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,040 -Oh, okay. 480 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,880 -Mary. -Fuck. 481 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,200 Don't move. 482 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:18,040 -Mary. My mother always told me I need to be braver in love. 483 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,960 Now that she's gone, I realize she was right. 484 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,160 So here goes. 485 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,200 Mary Marron. 486 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,840 Would you like to meet me for a drink sometime? 487 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,360 -You gonna answer him? 488 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,520 -I don't think so. 489 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:34,960 (car starts) 490 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,040 No. 491 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,080 -Mary. Mary! 492 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,160 Mary! 493 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,520 Mary! 494 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,080 -FRANK: Hey. You ever seen the film "Taxi Driver"? 495 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,920 -MARY: Course I have. Great movie. 496 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,640 -BOTH: "You never had no pussy like that." 497 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,760 ♪♪ 35023

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.