Original subtitles

Dog's Heart

- Pravda! Read Pravda, comrades! - Buy Pravda!

IS REJUVENATION POSSIBLE? .

Admire the visions this machine offers you.

Not even in cinema will you see such images. Indeed. I am telling you again.

Not even cinema shows such amazing images!

Four automatic images cost one kopek.

Come on calmly, one at a time.

Thank you, that will be four kopeks. For you it's free!

Observe the magic lantern!

Hmm, they made their revolution...

... but they remain peasants and egoists.

The shoes...

We are not all equal yet.

I'm not talking about me. I am a dog!

You cook of shit! And you call yourself a proletarian!

Have you ever been kicked, comrades?

I've been through everything and now I am crying. But only for the burn. My spirit is still alive.

The heart of a dog is strong!

I don't trust porters.

No collar... it's a stray dog.

What do you have here?

- You're hungry, huh? - He understood!

Your excellency, open the paperbag and I will lick your hands...

-...and your feet. Let me have this salami! Be nice... - Down, down!

Let's go, Bobi, come.

Come on, Bobi.

- You want another slice? - Of course, I've only smelled it!

Follow me.

- Come on, Bobi. - Good evening, professor. - Good evening.

- Even here there is a porter... - What now? Are you afraid?

Don't be afraid, Bobi, come.

Hmm, I've met a big shot!

Look at this son of a bitch, he makes fun of me!

- Is there any mail for me, Fjodor? - No, nothing today professor.

- They've placed new tenants in appartment 3. - What?

- Four persons. - Where did Piotr Pavlovich go?

He went to buy boards and bricks to pull up partitions.

- Do you like salami? - Yes sir, thank you. - Bobi!

It used to be a decent building...

- Good evening, professor. - Good evening, Gina.

- Where did you find this mutt? - Welcome to the house, Bobi.

- Excuse me... - He is scraggly!

He has a burn too. Good...Don't be upset.

How warm! How luxurius!

- What a soft carpet! - Thank you.

I'm a mess. I suck!

Which bastard did that to you?

Gina, take him to the treatment room and get me a gown.

Yes, professor.

Bobi, come.

Where are you going? Come!

- Stupid dog, be quiet! - No, this is a trap!

You are a real mutt! Come here.

Bobi, come here. Pff!

Shut up!

Bobi, come here!

- What is going on? - Doctor Bormenthal... - Don't be afraid. I'll take care of this.

- It won't be easy! - Come here.

You evil beast!

Now bite if you can! Bite...

That was it.

What a nice feeling!

I was wrong, they are all so nice!

They love me!

Sit down, be quiet!

- Good evening, professor. - Good evening, general.

- You are a true magician! Are we alone here? - Yes. - May I speak then? - Of course.

So many naked girls every night! I live in ecstasy! You are a sorcerer!

Take off your pants, please.

It's been 25 years since the last time this happened to me!

The last time was in '99 in Paris, in a brothel in Rue de la Paix.

- Be careful, do not overdo it. - For so long as it works, I will overdo it!

Be nice and quiet. Don't worry, he doesn't bite.

We're all right here... here too...

- Everything is OK, you may dress now. - Well done, professor.

- Come again in two weeks. - All right.

Thank you.

Come in.

- She says she's 45. She has slow pulse rate. - Let her in.

See? You'll pay for that!

Ye, right... I am a friend of the professor, I!

- Professor! - Good evening. Would you like to tell me your age?

I give you my word... If only you knew what I'm going through!

- Your age, madam. - I give you my word of honor. It's true.

- I'm 45. - Look. I have no time for that. There are many patients waiting.

I trust you. You are truly enlightened...

...You have to believe me, it is terrible... - Your age!

- 61... - Take off your clothes, madam.

I speak to you as if you were my confessor.

My last boyfriend is a real tramp,

but he's so young and handsome...

How stupid! She makes me nervous.

- You have the ovaries of a monkey. - What? - Indeed.

I can arrange your operation for Monday, but it will cost you 500 rubles.

All right.

Come in.

- We've come, professor... - The gentlemen go around without overshoes...

...and have soiled my expensive carpet!

- We are not gentlemen, to begin with. - To begin with, are you a man or a woman?

- What's the difference? - I'm a woman. - You can keep your hat on then...

...you gentlemen take it off, please. - A tribute to the bourgeoisie!

- You see, we're here to... - And, excuse me, but you are...?

We are the new building committee.

I am Schwonder, she is Vjazemskaja...

...and these are comrades Pietruskin and Sarovkajam.

And what is the reason of this visit?

We have to resolve the problem of a rational use of this building.

- What? - We have discussed... - Enough, thank you, I understood.

You know that according to this act of August, my apartment has been excluded...

...from any occupation or requisition.

We know, but the committee thinks you occupy too much space.

I live and work in 7 rooms and I need the 8th one for the library.

- 8 rooms? - I've never heard anything like that!

- The discussion is over. May I have my dinner now? - Excuse me.

The committee proposes that you voluntarily give up your dining room...

...making a gesture of proletarian self-discipline. Nobody in Moscow has a dining room!

- Not even Isadora Duncan has a dining room! - Excuse me but, where will I be eating?

In the bedroom!

Maybe madam Duncan is eating in the bedroom...

...she may be dancing in the kitchen and experiment with rabbits in the bedroom

...but I am not lsadora Duncan!

- Gina dear, escort the gentlemen. - Yes. - And serve dinner

...in the dining room! - I knew it!

I have already prepared the complaint against you to give to the authorities!

Is that so?

Could you please wait a moment?

Miss, could you get me 2421 please?

Yes, thank you very much.

Hello? Could I speak with Piotr Alexandrovich?

This is professor Preobrazenski. Piotr, I'm so lucky you're there.

I'm fine. And you? I'm really sorry.

I have to inform you that your operation has been postponed.

For ever. I won't be practicing medicine in Moscow or in the whole Russia any more.

Just now, four armed persons entered my apartement...

...and a butch! They attacked me in my office...

...threatening they will confiscate my appartment. - If I may, professor...

That's why I give up my profession. I intend to close my house and go on vacation.

He says his name is Schwonder.

What? Yes, of course.

Yes, of course this is the best thing to do.

But under the condition that this will be a definitive certificate.

A "bulletproof vest". Good.

Of course, I'll pass him on.

They want to talk to you.

- You have distorted our words. - Hello?

I am the president of the Kalabuchov building committee.

We have applied the regulation. The professor is privileged.

I know his profession...

I understand...

Yes, if that's the way it has to be...

As you wish.

- This is a scandal! - If you were not connected...

...to powerful people, you would have ended up in prison!

- Why? - Because you hate the proletariat!

It's true, I don't like the proletariat.

Gina, set the table!

You are happy it's lunch time, huh?

Let's go. Come.

- State Distilleries? - No, they make a 30% alcohol vodka!

This one is 40%.

Well done!

Thank you.

- Try Darja Petrovna's masterpiece. - Thank you.

- Incomparable! - This is the correct term!

One will only eat such delicious things...

...in the tables of those who did not get carried away by the Bolsheviks.

Let's see how you behave in table.

- Well done! - The dog will be eating in the dining room?

- Why does she interfere? - I educate him with sweetness.

Yes, he already shows progress.

When it comes to animals, it is pointless to use terror.

Regardless of their development level.

Terror blocks the nervous system. Same holds for humans.

Let us try this wine.

A friend from Georgia sent it to me.

Her legs smell so nice! I really like Gina!

- Here's to you. - Here's to you!

- Gina, what is this noise?

They do it for retaliation. They are mad at you!

- Schwonder has called a meeting. - The building is doomed.

Now they sing and dance with their Isadora Dunkan, but times will change again...

...and who knows what is to become at the end!

Do not ruin you appetite, professor!

- Did professor like my food? - He did. But he is very nervous today.

Yes, he is.

- Maybe you are being too pesimistic. - No, I am being realistic.

If I also started singing instead of operating...

...there would be chaos. If everyone did their job properly...

...chaos would fall away. Chaos does not exist into things, but inside the minds of people.

Did Marx order the proletarians to enter houses without overshoes, soiling carpets?

- The truth is that proletarians do not have overshoes. - They do now! They have mine!

The ones they stole from me in 1917! We now live in complete chaos!

We need the police. No matter if they wear red or black...

...order has no color. - He is right!

- Are they done eating? - Your words are counter revolutionary and dangerous.

No, this is merely common sense.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I forgot to pay you today, doctor.

- Thank you. This tobacco is exceptional. - It's from Switzerland.

- Will you be needing me for anything else, sir? - No, we are done for the day.

- You are free. - Thank you. - The rabbit is dead...

...and "L'Elisir D'amore" is on at the Bolshoj theatre tonight.

- Ivan... - As soon as I find an aproppriate body, I know what to do!

- But it has to be perfect. - Of course. - This is important.

I dislike Bormenthal.

- Good night, doctor. - Good night, professor.

Washed and combed like this, I look lovely!

I may be the son of a prince!

My grandmother might have slept with a Newfoundland!

Professor Filipp Filippovich wouldn't have picked an ordinary dog.

Bobi, you dirty boy!

Come on, let us take a walk.

Don't you want to go out? Here, there is the collar.

No, stop. You have to wear it.

Stop! If you wear this collar you will not be stray anymore.

It has your name and address. Come on, let's go.

- He has become fat! - Yes, he is so good.

- Good morning, Gina. - Good morning, sergeant. - It is less cold today.

The winter is about to be over.

No doubt, the collar has its advantages. Everybody respects me now.

He was a stray dog. We decided to call him Bobi.

No, it is not true! I didn't betray you! You are hooligans!

- You are envious! - They seem to know him well!

- A slave to whom? - Easy! - Go away!

Ignorants!

- Enough! - Go away, you filthy beasts!

Yes, I've taken a bath! So what?

SUBSECTION FOR CATCHING STRAY ANIMALS . . .

- I was scared! - Have a nice walk. - See you. Let's go.

These beggars have ruined my walk!

I have settled down really well. I am now a gentleman's dog.

An intellectual creature. But I miss the tree.

Smell of a dead body! What do they bring at home?

- When did it die? - Three hours ago. - Perfect. Let's hurry.

- It will be ready in a while. - Prepare Bobi. - Get ready. - Yes.

- Tell Daria, I will not be seeing anyone. - Yes.

I'm nervous. I'm going for a snack!

Where do you want to go?

Bobi...

Be nice.

Scalpel.

May God help us!

This is a fight against time and we have to win.

Watch out! Gina! Filthy beast!

Well done.

Give me the testicles of the dead.

- Here are the seminal ducts. - Pliers.

- Dry here. Pliers. - Right away.

Not like that! Straight!

Pliers.

Done. Stitch!

Scalpel.

Pliers.

Drill.

Gina, give me the saw quickly.

Time as scheduled.

I can't hear the heartbeat.

- In the heart? - You ask me? Jesus Christ!

He would have died 10 times!

- He is still alive, but... - I don't care. I go ahead.

Is he dead?

- He has no heartbeat. - More adrenaline.

Gina!

More!

- I'm done.

Do the stitches, doctor.

Gina, when we are all done get me a cigar.

- And clean underwear in the bathroom. - Yes, professor.

He is not dead yet. But he will die.

I'm sorry. He was a very affectionate little slicker.

Rub my back please, and then go to bed.

- It's late. - Yes, professor.

- You must be tired. - I'm used to it.

- Do you remember my first operation? - Yes.

- Will Bobi make it? - Maybe.

"Clinical Diary of doctor Bormenthal".

"For the first time in the world, an operation was performed..."

"...according to doctor Preobrazenski's method."

"The purpose was the study of the organism's rejuvenescence."

Darja, look! He's lost all his fur!

- Will he live? - Maybe.

- Do you hear him? - I won't go in there again!

- "Defining..."

"Defining the transformation..."

Yes?

Excuse me, Gina.

Tell me, dear.

What happened?

It fell off.

The tail.

"The rumours about a martian in the Kalabuchov building..."

"...are totally unfounded."

- Professor... - Tell me. Is he dead?

- Even worse... that creature looked at me. - I'm coming!

Professor...

"He now speaks and barks, swears unduly."

"I've recorded his voice."

Comrades, be quite, please.

Let me speak. This is the conclusion.

It's about an illegitimate son.

An amusement of this man who feels superior to everyone else...

...and despises humanity. - For sure!

- He is lustful! - He's always lived in luxury!

Don't push, damn it!

You filthy son of a bitch!

Poor thing! He's learned all these from humans.

- Thank you. Dear professor. - Are you acquainted with colleague Karakov?

He is the Director of the Institute of experimental veterinary medicine in Moscow.

- Of course, how do you do? - Well. - And my assistant, Dr.Bormenthal.

Glad to meet you.

- Sit down, please. - This is a case of great importance.

Let's continue with the analysis of the x-rays.

Incredible! The osteological comparison is impressive!

I want a shot drink!

A splendid confirmation of the evolution theory.

- Get out you lice! - No insults! - Out!

- It's better to... - Please. - Out!

Yes, dear professor, your eyes didn't fool you.

This is a full anthropomorphization.

(in latin) "Nature does not make leaps, but science does."

You have opened a new chapter in the history of science.

With no intention to arouse Faust, you have created "Homunculus".

Moreover, you have managed to give life to a new being.

Thank you, but please keep it a secret.

I'm full of doubts.

You, dear sir, are capable of doubting that this is a square!

- It is an interesting experiment. - Let's pass under the arcades.

IS REJUVENATION POSSIBLE?

What have they done to me?

How did I...

...become like this?

"Body structure: totally human. Has started smoking."

"Capable of conversation. Brain coordinates thoughts and moves."

"We dressed him. The evolution of this unique case needs to be studied."

- Tell him to stop! - Yes. - Bring him over.

Where did you find this rubbish?

- Which rubbish? - The tie. - It is very elegant!

- Darja Petrovna gave it to me. - It is obscene!

- And so are those shoes. - I have chosen them myself.

Go downtown. Everybody is wearing polished shoes.

Listen. Try not to jump around the house night and day.

And do not sleep in the kitchen. You disturb the ladies.

You make me laugh! They wish they were ladies!

They are servants and they behave as if they were the wives of commissioners!

- Our "sweet Gina" is spying! - What?

- Don't you ever call her "sweet Gina" again, understood? - Understood.

- My God... - Do not throw cigarette butts on the floor!

And don't spit on the carpet! There's a spittoon for that!

Try to urinate in the toilet bowl, please.

And don't go around Gina all day long. She complained.

- You oppress me, "daddy". - I'm not your "daddy". I want you to call me by my name and surname!

"Don't spit, don't smoke, don't do this, don't do that". It's like being in the tram! I can't breath!

Concerning "daddy", it's useless to raise your voice ...

...Schwonder told me everything.

Did I ask you to perform the operation? How nice!

You found a poor dog and broke his head! What's more, I have many relatives...

...I might even have the right to sue you.

Are you sorry you are human? So, you'd rather still be running in dumps?

Why do you insult me? I was looking for food there.

- What if I had died on the operation table, comrade? - I'm not your comrade!

- I am Filipp Filippovich! - OK, we are not comrades.

I haven't been to the university, and I don't own a 15-rooms' apartment!

Learn to remove your fleas with your fingers!

- Where do you get them? - They find me!

The professor will see you immediately.

There are three clients already waiting.

Take your hands off! Be good! Have a meatball.

Tasty, isn't it?

Look what you made me do!

- Is that so? - Yes. That's enough!

- Who is that? - That's Bobi.

- He escaped! What are we going to do? - We'll call the police.

Better not.

I'd like to see the little dog that speaks.

- Out, get out! - You are very impolite! - Out!

If you want to help me, stay here for a few days...

...so that I can better control this creature. - Yes.

Thank you, Gina.

Let me introduce you to some of my friends, they are all true comrades.

- And Vjazemskaja? - She's probably making love somewhere, but she will come.

- Here are the sandwitches. - I was hungry!

You are more beautiful than any girl in this place.

Let's dance.

- Dogs are homosexual. - It makes no difference to them.

Two glasses of vodka.

Another two.

No, thanks.

- Comrade, who's paying? - Not me, the gang!

- No, comrade. You will pay right now! - No!

- Well done, Gina.

- Maybe it's him. - How will I put up with him?

- I'm going to open the door. - No, I'll go. Who is it?

It's you!

Where is Gina?

- But... - Yes, I will be sleeping here from now on. That is your bed.

Coughing is all we needed!

Who gave you permission to wander about Moscow?

You insult me! I walk like you.

You are a being under formation who eats toothpaste instead of cream!

- Be civil in the bathroom! - You want to teach me how to piss?

Shame on you! You are a vulgar voyeur!

You are jealous. Look how I'm crying! I'm gonna pee myself!

- Comrade professor... - What's the matter? - Schwonder says it's urgent.

According to the committee, the comrade needs to be registered.

- No one can live in Moscow unregistered. - What?

I want my military booklet. I don't want to be a deserter.

And then there is the trade unions, the chamber of labor...

No one is allowed to exist without documents.

- You do not have a name. - I have already chosen a name...

...Poligraph Poligraphovic. - Never heard of it. - It's not in the calendar.

The nameday is on March 4th.

- Can you tell me the surname? - Same as my family's: Bobikov!

- What do I have to write here? - It's quite simple.

The bearer of this...

...Bobikov Poligraph Poligraphovic...

...procreated in my appartment... - It's very simple!

- Please! - Do not interfere. - I have to do it...

...the documents are the most important thing in the world.

- Nonsense! - How can you talk like that about the documents?

Let's start with the inscription to the military records.

I won't go to war. I'm a pacifist.

- This is irresponsible talking! - It's OK with the inscription to the records...

...but I won't go to war. I have injuries from the operation...

...I'm entitled to exemption. - We'll talk about it later.

- Thank you, comrade professor. - Good evening, professor.

- It's a nightmare. - Be careful with your nerves. It's the most important thing.

Water.

Enough with the vodka! And use the napkin.

- Why? - Thank you doctor, I'm tired of preaching him.

You cannot eat without a napkin. Gina, take the mayonnaise away.

Why? OK, there it is!

Use the fork.

- One more glass... - No!

- Just a sip. - Gina! - He wants it all to himself!

He misbehaves even without the vodka.

Why do we have to show off? Napkin, combed hair, "thank you", "please"!

Can't you consider the really important things? You are preoccupied with nonsense,like in the time of Tsar!

And which are the really important things?

Electricity, justice, art!

Art...

Do you want some red wine?

I prefer vodka, but...

- What are we going to do tonight? - We'll all go to the circus!

If I were you, I'd go to the theatre to cultivate myself.

- What do you have against theatre? - It's dull. Blah, blah, blah...

And I think it is contra revolutionary!

- Gina, bring the meat. - Right away.

- Read a book. There are many books here. - I already do.

- Which one? - "The Correspondence" of Engels...

...and Kautsky. - What do you think of them?

- I disagree. - With which one?

- With both of them. - What do you propose?

It's simple: You take everything that exists and you distribute it to the people.

- I knew it! - How could this be done?

Easily. You equally distribute everything. Otherwise, do you see what happens?

There's one having 10 rooms, 40 shirts...

...and 40 trousers and one who has no place to sleep...

...and looks in the trash bins for something to eat!

You mean my shirts and trousers, right?

So, we should share everything equally? Fine. How much did his clothes cost?

- How much did his food cost? - And the plumber. - Yes!

- Which crazy person gave you the book? - Easy to guess!

Yes, it was Schwonder! To help me evolve!

- Some evolution! - And where is this book?

No, not the book! It's from the State Library!

I know what I have to do with Schwonder!

Great!

What the hell...

Bobikov! Don't!

Great!

Excellent!

The door!

Ah, please! You are an animal!

- Why? Don't you ever do it? - Enough!

Comrade, here is the address of a real friend who will find you a job.

- I have to work? - Yes, unless you want to end up in hard labour.

- Sure. - OK, I understood. I'll go tomorrow.

- Comrade Muttander? - Come with us.

Be brief.

- Next one. - I'm looking for comrade Muttander. - That's me.

- Poltava, Irkutsk? - Moscow, please.

This is the placement office for the temporarily inactive workers.

- Today, we send people to the Poltava mines. - Moscow.

- There are no mines in Moscow. - I don't want to go! - What is your occupation?

- Unemployed. - There are no unemployed people in Federal Republic of Russia.

- I want to stay in Moscow. - What do you want to do?

- Anything involving cats! - There aren't any. They've all been eaten.

There are stray cats. Cats are thieves, they take advantage of the poor...

...they are lazy and contra revolutionary. - You've convinced me.

Present yourself to the subsection for stray animals. 3, Leo Tolstoy Str.

- The Deputy Director's position is vacant. - Thank you.

Is this lrina Petrovna?

Hello? Hello?

Nothing. This time he won't end up well!

Bravo Poligraph, it's nice here. Inviting us was a good idea.

- A piece of art! - Take it, it's yours.

Poligraph Poligraphovic...

...if you find me some more, I'll sleep with you tonight!

Vodka first, bed afterwards!

No, leave me!

Leave me! I don't want that!

Leave Natasha alone!

Go act like a pig elsewhere!

Don't be like that. We need to have fun tonight.

Nobody loves me!

Nobody!

Why was I brought to this world?

Go! All of you!

What happened here? Gina!

Look at what they did to my house!

- This is outrageous! He is a delinquent! - Gina! Darja!

- We have a delinquent in the house! We are here, professor!

Open up! This way! - Go check it out.

Where is my cane with the Congress of Warsaw dedication?

And my beaver hat? Thieves! Bobikov!

Bobikov...

- Tell me everything. - They invaded the house...

- I understood everything. Don't be upset. - I'm leaving...

You'll take care of everything tomorrow, now go get some rest.

- I'll teach him a lesson now! - It's useless!

- No use, he is drunk. - There is nothing we can do for the time.

Go to bed. We will deal with it tomorrow.

Do you think that I understand something...

...on the anatomy and physiology of the human brain?

You are a master. Not only in Moscow...

...but also in London, in Stockholm, in Paris!

OK!

Let us admit that.

However, future professor Bormenthal ...

...you know well what really interests me: eugenics.

Perfecting the human species.

Instead, I fell into the trap of rejuvenation.

And then I fell into the trap of the pituitary.

I'm telling you, Preobrazenski was wrong with this operation.

- No. - I made a discovery...

...but what' s the use of that? Turning a sweet dog...

...into a four-legged human that makes me angry!

- It's been a great achievement. - I doubt that.

This is what happens when you do not respect the laws of nature.

We have accelerated the pace and we got Bobikov!

An ungovernable crook!

I lost all hope!

- I am completely confused. - I will kill him.

I will never allow you that.

My dear Gina, Bobikov, who really loves you, is here.

I am now a registered citizen.

Gina...

Holy mother...

I will never forget the day I came to you...

...I was just a poor hungry student.

And you offered me a refuge next to your prestigious chair.

You are more than a professor to me.

More than a teacher. My devotion is boundless.

Thank you.

Kindness, the love for beautiful things...

...all these, should not be lost. - No.

The same holds for culture, for the Opera...

- Yes. - Future generations will judge our mistakes...

...our illusions... - Dear Filipp Filippovich...

...let me kiss you. - My dear friend!

- I swear to you that... - Thank you. I'm so lonely ...

I want to tell you something...

It's the only solution. I wouldn't allow myself to advise you...

...but think about you. You are destroying yourself.

Yes, you are right. But it is impossible.

- It' s the only way. - Do you know what would happen if anyone found out?

We could not save ourlseves invoking a proletarian origin.

- Are you a proletarian's son? - My father was a judge.

How horrible! But this is not the problem.

- Then what is? - This creature...

...is almost my son, even if he was created in the lab.

Moreover, this would be a crime.

We'll have to put up with this thug forever? Come!

Come! I want everyone to see you!

Professor, admire our Telegraph Telegraphovic.

I was a married woman, but Gina is an innocent virgin... It's a good thing I woke up!

- Gina loves me! - What? - Don' t be stupid!

Enough!

- You are jealous, but Gina likes me too! - What did you say, you worm?

- Excuse me. - Darja is jealous because she knows I like Gina!

- Delinquent! - Enough! Will you stop?

You are a genious...

...so explain to me what does it mean...

...that Darja had a husband? What does "virgin" mean?

That is nonsense by bourgeois philosophy!

Doctor!

Go back to your room.

- Enough! - He is not bad!

- He is just a poor guy! - Stand up!

I want to die!

Everything is falling apart. I feel like lamenting and this is what I'll do!

But it's always better to talk to yourself.

- I' m not his guardian. - You' ve made an anarchist out of him, a rebel...

...who does not accept rules! - I teach him not to accept the privileges of people like you...

...traitors of the revolution. I believe in justice.

While you are using science to suck the blood of others!

Comrade, in my house we salute.

- Thank you. - My name is Zoja.

- Did you put the gloves in? - Yes, comrade Deputy Director.

Fine.

- You have very beautiful eyes. - Thank you.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- You are so elegant! - Yes. - Tell me about it! - In a while.

- Hey! - Yes?

Filipp Filippovich, I have a job.

- Show me your certificate, please. - Of course.

- Bormental. - You should call me by my name and surname.

- So, you should also do the same. - At most "mister Bobikov"!

I am not a "mister". "Misters" live in Paris!

Since you are a Deputy Director of the subsection for stray animals ...

...I suppose you are looking for an accomodation. - Do you mean I should leave?

As a member of the tenants' association...

...I am entitled to 4 square meters of appartment 5 -that is this one.

- I will shoot Schwonder! - What?

4 square meters? OK. But I will not be feeding you!

- And where will I eat? - Why do you smell so bad?

It 'a specialized job. I strangled many cats.

- One moment! - Let him calm down, listen to me.

Tell me about your job, what is it that you do with cats?

Furs for the workers!

- Now we are engaged! - Really? - You have my word.

Everybody in my family has always been poor.

You are lucky. With me all your problems are solved.

My family is rich and has important friends in the party.

- I only work for fun, not because I have to. - Poligraph!

We will live in a beautiful house...

...you will be walking on soft carpets

You will be eating with silver cutlery ...

...and will be drinking out of crystal glasses...

- What are you trying to do? - Nothing, I'm just looking.

- What do you want to do? - Nothing. Turn around, Zoja!

- Kiss me. - Yes, but you turn around.

It's not like the one we make at home but we can drink it!

- You make vodka at your home? - Vodka is a very delicate matter.

It needs 40% alcohol...

...and has to be distilled at home. Thank you.

From the hands of an Ukranian virgin.

Life is worthless without real vodka.

Vodka cures distemper... That is, the cold.

It accelerates social relations...

...liberates from inhibitions...

For example, now I can tell you that I love you.

What kind of a man is professor Preobrazenski?

- A genius of universal reputation, but to me he is a father. - Really? - Of course.

More than a father, a benefactor. We are linked like that!

- How did you meet him? - Thanks to a salami. - A salami?

We met in a luxury store downtown.

Go on.

I now live in his 17-rooms' appartment.

- He now does nothing without my help. - That is incredible!

He is a master of living and has made a man out of me.

I never thought the house would be that big!

- Wonderful! - This is only the gateway.

This is Zoja my fiancee. Gina is professor's assistant.

You will see the kitchen and the dining room...

... and our room, this way. - May I have the pleasure?

Yes, of course. Our secretary: Zoja Andrejevna Vasniezova.

She will be living with me. I intend to marry her.

We will use the square meters that Bormenthal occupies improperly.

He will return to his apartment.

- Miss, please come to my office. - I will escort you.

- I would like... - Be patient, professor wants to talk to her alone.

Zoja keeps no secrets from me, she is my fiancee.

- He told me he was injured in battle! - It's a lie!

The scar is a proof of my operation on his skull.

- This is terrible! - I feel sorry for you.

But how can you sleep with the first person that holds a position!

It's like selling yourself!

I will die of poisoning. They feed us spoiled food in the canteen.

He flirted me, then he threatened me...

...he said he was a Russian commissioner.

He also said: "With me, you will live in luxury"...

"...you will be getting one increase per day. I am good..."

"...I only hate cats."

That's a good one!

He gave me an engagement ring.

You know what we' ll do? You are young. You will forget.

Be brave, take these money. Consider it a loan.

- Call Mr. Bobikov. - Yes professor.

- What did they tell you? - Liar!

Be gentle with the lady and tell her about your scar.

- I was injured in battle. - Really?

Excuse me! Give the lady the ring.

- Tomorrow I will cut down the staff! - Don't be afraid of him, we will protect you.

- Tell me her surname. - Vasniezova.

I will be checking everyday to make sure the lady is not fired.

If you do anything, I'll shoot you! I'll kill you with my bare hands!

- I could find a revolver. - A revolver?

Do you want a cup of tea?

Yes, thank you.

- Your excellency. - Do not call me that! Is professor at home? - Yes.

- It is too early for visitors. - I know.

Something important.

- Did the pain come back? - No, thank you.

You put me back to the world and I am grateful.

I'm here for something else.

I came to inform you... it is nonsense....

...of a provoker. Fortunatelly they reported to me personally.

"They threatend to kill the president of the condominium committee, Schwonder."

"They burned an Engels' book expressing Mensheviks' feelings..."

"...like his assistant, Bormenthal who lives illegally in his apartment."

"Signed: Deputy Director... "

"...Bobikov."

- Poligraph... - Yes? - A political commissioner came by. - I know.

- I think it is better to leave the house for a few days. - No!

I'm going to Schwonder. This way we will be over with your Bormenthal!

What do you mean "my Bormenthal"?

There is nothing between us. We even had a fight.

Over you.

Gina, you'll see that I know how to evolve...

...if you help me.

Gina, my dear...

Wait. I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

- Pack your things and leave. - What? - Leave! At once!

You think you can get away with it because your friends are powerful?

I have my 4 meters and I will keep them!

Bormenthal is the one who has to leave!

Get out of this house.

What is this?

Professor asks you not to leave the house. We must not be disturbed.

- Understood? - Yes.

EPILOGUE. A FEW DAYS LATER. . . .

Open the door!

Criminal Police and investigating judge!

- Well? - He is awake. - What is the matter? - They are looking for professor.

Professor...

Excuse my dressing gown, but...

I am sorry. We are desolate.

We have a search and an arrest warrant.

Whom for and what is the crime?

Filipp Filippovich Preobrazenski...

...lvan Arnoldovich Bormenthal, Gina Bunina and Darja lvanova...

...are accused of murder.

The victim is the Deputy Director of the Subsection for catching stray animals in Moscow.

...Poligraph Poligraphovic Bobikov.

Which Bobikov?

Do you mean my dog, Bobi? The one I recently operated?

As far as I know, he wasn't a dog anymore but a man.

Because he talked? But this is not enough to qualify as human.

In any case, Bobi is still alive. Nobody attempted to kill him.

I need to see him. He seems to be missing for quite a while...

...and the circumstances are very suspicious.

- Show Bobi to the judge. - Right away.

Come, Bobi.

- Professor... - How can it be?

- He even had a job! - Not on my recommendation.

It was Schwonder's idea.

I do not understand a thing... Is that him?

Yes, it is him. His hair grew back!

As far as I know, he could talk.

He still does, but rarely so.

If I were him, I'd take advantage of the situation because soon he will stop talking for ever.

- Excuse me, why? - Science has not managed yet to transform animals into humans.

I tried, but without success.

He was talking for a while, but now he has returned to his primitive state.

- Atavism. - Swearing is prohibited!

- He is alive! - I warned you!

- Liars! - Did you see I was right?

- Kill Schwonder! - Record that!

Why is he looking at me?

It could have been worse. I am settled.

I have no concerns, while he...There is the genius!

Always searching for something that cannot be found...

... always tormented.

I do not trust him. I need to be careful.

I have a feeling we two are not over yet.

No, we are not over yet.

subtitles : hobsbaum