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1
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:11,631
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:00:12,393 --> 00:00:14,563
I felt
very vulnerable as a woman.
3
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,065
Like, I was much smaller.
4
00:00:16,097 --> 00:00:18,867
Even though you're not a...
I don't know, I mean, you're...
5
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:21,771
you're not considered a
vulnerable person a lot of times,
6
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:24,107
I'm half,
one third the size now.
7
00:00:24,139 --> 00:00:26,676
- And you had a vagina, which was...
- And... yeah.
8
00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:29,611
I usually don't have things that
people want to have sex with,
9
00:00:29,644 --> 00:00:31,380
so that was very strange for me.
10
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,382
- Uh...
- [chuckles]
11
00:00:34,415 --> 00:00:36,452
[cheerful rock music]
12
00:00:38,419 --> 00:00:40,456
[air conditioner buzzing]
13
00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:49,399
[sharp thuds]
14
00:00:51,666 --> 00:00:52,934
- [Christmas music]
- [soft rattles]
15
00:00:52,967 --> 00:00:55,138
Mommy,
why is Christmas canceled?
16
00:00:55,904 --> 00:00:57,205
Don't worry, son.
17
00:00:57,239 --> 00:00:59,442
Christmas can never
truly be canceled.
18
00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:02,979
- Will that be all, Mr. Crenshaw?
- Hey, Mark, you've done enough.
19
00:01:03,012 --> 00:01:05,415
Why don't you go home and spend
some time with the family?
20
00:01:06,247 --> 00:01:07,349
Take care of yourself.
21
00:01:07,382 --> 00:01:08,417
[Vanessa]
Becky, we need to hurry!
22
00:01:08,450 --> 00:01:09,518
The bank is going
to take possession
23
00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:10,852
of this place at midnight!
24
00:01:10,885 --> 00:01:12,589
[Becky]
Vanessa, we know that.
25
00:01:13,622 --> 00:01:15,324
Why aren't you upset about this?
26
00:01:15,357 --> 00:01:16,926
[coughs] Oh, it's very sad.
27
00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:18,661
Becky, I've got
something to show you!
28
00:01:18,694 --> 00:01:20,062
I don't want to hear it.
29
00:01:20,095 --> 00:01:21,197
Haven't you done enough already?
30
00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:22,398
[Phillip]
I... I found the deed.
31
00:01:23,131 --> 00:01:24,699
It was in your ornament
this whole time.
32
00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:26,903
[Becky]
My grandmother's ornament?
33
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:32,274
[Mr. Crenshaw] This means that the
bank doesn't have to foreclose on us.
34
00:01:32,307 --> 00:01:34,910
It says Vanessa
signed off on this.
35
00:01:34,944 --> 00:01:36,679
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast!
36
00:01:36,712 --> 00:01:38,481
Is this mean
you're going to stay?
37
00:01:38,513 --> 00:01:41,650
- [chuckles]
- Oh, Phillip has to go back home to Dallas.
38
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:42,784
This is my home.
39
00:01:44,652 --> 00:01:47,489
But your dream of being
an Olympic fencer...
40
00:01:47,522 --> 00:01:49,491
That's not important any more.
41
00:01:49,524 --> 00:01:50,725
When I found out I inherited
42
00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:52,629
a Christmas tree farm
in Mellow Falls,
43
00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:55,031
I didn't even know
where that was.
44
00:01:56,232 --> 00:01:57,599
I knew nothing
of haystack dances
45
00:01:57,632 --> 00:02:00,536
or Earl's Gingerbread contests.
46
00:02:00,569 --> 00:02:02,738
And I didn't know I'd find
a girl as wonderful as you here.
47
00:02:02,771 --> 00:02:04,739
[inspirational music]
48
00:02:04,772 --> 00:02:05,675
[ornament rattles]
49
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,409
You never forget who you are.
50
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:10,412
Oh, just kiss her already!
51
00:02:10,445 --> 00:02:12,113
Earl! Have you been here
this whole time?
52
00:02:12,147 --> 00:02:13,215
[laughs]
53
00:02:13,249 --> 00:02:14,617
Well, you heard the man.
54
00:02:15,951 --> 00:02:17,987
[inspirational music]
55
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,524
[applauding]
56
00:02:28,963 --> 00:02:30,800
[sharp rattles]
57
00:02:33,668 --> 00:02:36,439
During that time,
I was pretty much a mess.
58
00:02:36,471 --> 00:02:39,608
I was moping around,
I was pretty heartbroken.
59
00:02:39,642 --> 00:02:42,445
The breakup made me
put up a huge wall
60
00:02:42,477 --> 00:02:44,879
and find it difficult
to connect with people
61
00:02:44,912 --> 00:02:47,149
or even be around people
after that.
62
00:02:48,717 --> 00:02:49,652
[refrigerator buzzes]
63
00:02:49,684 --> 00:02:50,952
Hi, Maria.
64
00:02:50,986 --> 00:02:52,088
How are you?
65
00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:54,991
[sighs] Not great.
66
00:02:55,023 --> 00:02:57,693
Let's just say I didn't handle
the breakup well.
67
00:02:57,725 --> 00:02:59,562
- My family never really liked him...
- Why are you upset
68
00:02:59,594 --> 00:03:00,795
about breaking up with him?
69
00:03:00,828 --> 00:03:01,831
You're acting like Mom!
70
00:03:01,863 --> 00:03:03,565
I u... used to always think
it was...
71
00:03:03,599 --> 00:03:04,967
would be better to be a guy,
72
00:03:04,999 --> 00:03:07,068
and that I probably
wouldn't be feeling
73
00:03:07,101 --> 00:03:09,137
as sad as I was feeling
74
00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:10,339
if I was just a guy.
75
00:03:10,372 --> 00:03:11,406
I wish I was a guy!
76
00:03:11,439 --> 00:03:12,641
Better be careful
what you wish for,
77
00:03:12,675 --> 00:03:14,277
because that did happen.
78
00:03:14,309 --> 00:03:16,278
- And the last thing you wanted was to be a man...
- And...
79
00:03:16,312 --> 00:03:18,213
- ...I guess.
- The last thing I wanted
80
00:03:18,247 --> 00:03:19,515
was to, um,
81
00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,384
be in this position
that we're in.
82
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:23,819
Being a man was one thing,
but being...
83
00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:26,522
- Yeah, but I...
- ...Casey was another.
84
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:27,456
[slosh]
85
00:03:27,488 --> 00:03:28,324
[Casey]
Okay, I was
86
00:03:28,356 --> 00:03:29,224
a little bit unhealthy.
87
00:03:29,257 --> 00:03:31,861
His lifestyle went against
88
00:03:31,893 --> 00:03:32,761
everything I believed in.
89
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,397
Whoa, wait. Check her out.
90
00:03:36,030 --> 00:03:37,666
I mean, the lettering
is right on the butt.
91
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,101
It's just begging
to be looked at.
92
00:03:40,903 --> 00:03:43,039
[man on radio] Do you drive your
car or does your car drive you?
93
00:03:43,071 --> 00:03:45,774
- Come on down...
- In Soviet Russia, car drive you.
94
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,477
And while I'm closer
with my brother
95
00:03:49,511 --> 00:03:51,480
than probably you are
with your sister, I...
96
00:03:51,512 --> 00:03:54,182
I was pretty lonely
at the time too, I think.
97
00:03:54,215 --> 00:03:55,684
- Uh...
- [CJ] So I think in that sense,
98
00:03:55,718 --> 00:04:00,221
we were two lonely people living
very different lifestyles.
99
00:04:00,255 --> 00:04:02,591
I don't want to say
we were forced together.
100
00:04:02,624 --> 00:04:05,495
- It's called fate. It's called destiny.
- Oh, fate, destiny.
101
00:04:06,394 --> 00:04:07,463
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
102
00:04:07,495 --> 00:04:09,499
[upbeat rock music]
103
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:13,469
[interviewer] Now,
can you all introduce yourselves?
104
00:04:13,501 --> 00:04:14,869
I'm Casey.
105
00:04:14,903 --> 00:04:16,205
My name is CJ.
106
00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:19,141
We swapped bodies.
107
00:04:19,174 --> 00:04:21,210
[lively music]
108
00:04:25,114 --> 00:04:27,350
[car engine rumbling]
109
00:04:31,653 --> 00:04:32,522
[soft thud]
110
00:04:37,126 --> 00:04:39,162
[paper rustling]
111
00:05:00,549 --> 00:05:02,852
- [phone ringing]
- [man] So I guess you know that Hitchero & Company
112
00:05:02,884 --> 00:05:04,119
wants to buy us out.
113
00:05:04,153 --> 00:05:07,256
But we obviously want
to fetch a good price.
114
00:05:08,624 --> 00:05:10,225
[soft thud]
115
00:05:10,259 --> 00:05:11,126
Swish.
116
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,494
I'm sorry, sir.
117
00:05:12,528 --> 00:05:13,462
Buy us out?
118
00:05:13,494 --> 00:05:15,364
I... I thought it was a merger.
119
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:17,600
What's the difference?
120
00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:21,036
Well, both companies get to keep
their identities, for one.
121
00:05:21,069 --> 00:05:23,439
Oh, I don't think
you know mergers work.
122
00:05:23,472 --> 00:05:24,640
I've been married 20 years,
123
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,608
I've never heard of it
working that way.
124
00:05:26,641 --> 00:05:30,812
Besides, I want to cash out now
while I can still enjoy my money.
125
00:05:30,845 --> 00:05:32,480
And I know I couldn't have
a better person
126
00:05:32,513 --> 00:05:34,684
to help me negotiate
with Hitchero & Company...
127
00:05:35,451 --> 00:05:36,852
other than you.
128
00:05:36,884 --> 00:05:38,052
Me?
129
00:05:38,086 --> 00:05:40,222
I... I would love to, sir.
[softly chuckles]
130
00:05:40,254 --> 00:05:41,990
I know you'll do a good job.
131
00:05:42,023 --> 00:05:44,059
I'd have to be an idiot
to mess this up!
132
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,562
Eight o'clock? Yeah, come over
133
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:49,932
and we'll think of something
to do from there.
134
00:05:49,965 --> 00:05:50,933
Okay. Bye.
135
00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:53,168
Roy!
136
00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:00,576
- [knocking on door]
- Roy.
137
00:06:01,343 --> 00:06:02,944
Casey,
138
00:06:02,977 --> 00:06:04,412
you are invading my quiet place,
139
00:06:04,446 --> 00:06:05,948
you better have
a damn good reason!
140
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:07,115
Roy, it's about Wendy.
141
00:06:08,383 --> 00:06:09,919
Wendy?
The hot Italian chick, Wendy?
142
00:06:09,951 --> 00:06:11,987
[birds chirping]
143
00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:14,022
Proceed.
144
00:06:14,055 --> 00:06:15,824
I got a date with her tonight.
What do I do?
145
00:06:15,857 --> 00:06:17,259
You have a date
with her tonight?
146
00:06:17,292 --> 00:06:19,828
Okay. Well, easy-peasy,
lemon squeezy, my friend.
147
00:06:19,862 --> 00:06:21,831
You put on a horror film, right?
148
00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:23,833
You get all snuggly
on the couch.
149
00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:26,067
You let her see all these
people die horrific deaths,
150
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,735
and it gets her
in the mood to repopulate,
151
00:06:27,768 --> 00:06:29,204
if you know what I'm saying.
152
00:06:29,237 --> 00:06:30,672
[laughs] You know?
153
00:06:30,706 --> 00:06:32,374
Sex, Casey. Jesus.
154
00:06:32,407 --> 00:06:33,542
Netflix and chill?
155
00:06:33,574 --> 00:06:35,577
It's the first date.
I need a wing man.
156
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:36,911
Mm-mm. No, no, no, no, no.
157
00:06:36,944 --> 00:06:38,913
Alright. It's not a "group hang"
158
00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:40,316
if it's a couple...
159
00:06:40,348 --> 00:06:42,317
and then one guy hanging
out with the couple.
160
00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:43,586
You know what this is called?
161
00:06:43,619 --> 00:06:44,720
Ménage à trois?
162
00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:47,890
What? No. It's called
being a third wheel, it sucks.
163
00:06:47,922 --> 00:06:51,292
You know, the French have,
like, 300 words for three-way.
164
00:06:51,326 --> 00:06:52,795
It's like Eskimos and snow.
165
00:06:55,631 --> 00:06:57,666
[TV plays]
166
00:06:57,699 --> 00:06:58,634
[sharp gunshots]
167
00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:01,670
[gunshots continue]
168
00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:07,408
- [man on video game] Whoa!
- [video game announcer] Loser.
169
00:07:07,441 --> 00:07:09,444
What other games do you have?
170
00:07:09,477 --> 00:07:11,913
Oh, um, Rage, Primal Rage,
171
00:07:11,946 --> 00:07:14,249
Streets of Rage, Street Fighter,
172
00:07:14,283 --> 00:07:17,552
Final Fight, Final Fantasy,
Phantasy Star,
173
00:07:17,586 --> 00:07:18,653
Star Wars...
174
00:07:18,687 --> 00:07:19,554
Okay.
175
00:07:19,588 --> 00:07:21,090
...Star Trek, Starcraft,
176
00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,591
Minecraft, Warcraft...
177
00:07:23,292 --> 00:07:26,227
God of War, Gears of War,
Metal Gear Solid...
178
00:07:26,261 --> 00:07:28,097
Twisted Metal, Metal Slug,
179
00:07:28,129 --> 00:07:30,899
Metal Gear Rising, Dead Rising,
180
00:07:30,932 --> 00:07:31,900
Dead or Alive...
181
00:07:32,768 --> 00:07:35,171
Oh, wait, I sold that one
to GameStop. Sorry.
182
00:07:39,141 --> 00:07:41,177
[light suspenseful music]
183
00:07:46,648 --> 00:07:47,550
[light switch clicks]
184
00:07:49,518 --> 00:07:52,521
[CJ] You want to come get your stuff now?
On a Friday night?
185
00:07:52,554 --> 00:07:54,423
- I'm going out!
- [man on the phone] Yeah, well, get over it!
186
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:56,025
[CJ]
Barry, you took my dog!
187
00:07:56,057 --> 00:07:57,692
[Barry] It's our dog.
I was there when you got him.
188
00:07:57,725 --> 00:07:59,928
[CJ] No, it's not our
dog, it's my dog!
189
00:07:59,961 --> 00:08:02,030
[Barry]
I paid for him. It's my dog!
190
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,633
You know what? You're ruining
my night! Good bye!
191
00:08:04,665 --> 00:08:05,900
[sighs]
192
00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:06,969
[deeply exhales]
193
00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:17,713
So, when are you going
to show me around town?
194
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:19,682
Well, I'm a bit
of a home-buddy, but...
195
00:08:20,482 --> 00:08:21,617
I... I'll take you out.
196
00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:22,585
How about Tuesday?
197
00:08:23,684 --> 00:08:25,353
Sounds great.
198
00:08:27,989 --> 00:08:29,324
- See you then.
- Bye-bye.
199
00:08:30,559 --> 00:08:31,427
Bye!
200
00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:36,564
[whispers] Together,
we're saving lemurs. Awesome.
201
00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:37,599
[softly slurps]
202
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:39,602
[indistinctively murmurs]
203
00:08:39,635 --> 00:08:41,837
[birds chirping]
204
00:08:41,870 --> 00:08:43,773
[Casey vocalizes]
205
00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:47,508
Got a job interview today.
How do I look?
206
00:08:47,541 --> 00:08:51,045
[deeply sighs] You look
like a divorced alcoholic.
207
00:08:51,078 --> 00:08:52,414
That's what I'm going for.
208
00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:53,583
Well...
209
00:08:56,852 --> 00:08:58,220
[deeply sighs]
210
00:08:58,252 --> 00:09:00,689
[light Asian music]
211
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,059
[keyboard clacking]
212
00:09:04,092 --> 00:09:06,061
[phone rings]
213
00:09:06,093 --> 00:09:07,496
Hey, could you get
my report ready
214
00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:08,698
for the two o'clock meeting?
215
00:09:09,997 --> 00:09:12,133
[phone continues to ring]
216
00:09:17,238 --> 00:09:19,040
Is this the applicant?
217
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:21,743
[secretary]
Yes, I believe it is.
218
00:09:29,418 --> 00:09:31,453
[calm music]
219
00:09:32,621 --> 00:09:34,223
You can step into my office.
220
00:09:34,256 --> 00:09:36,290
Thanks for coming in, Casey.
221
00:09:36,324 --> 00:09:38,827
Your résumé
really jumped out at me.
222
00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:43,031
We have the same name.
Except I usually go by CJ.
223
00:09:43,064 --> 00:09:44,467
What's the J stand for?
224
00:09:45,434 --> 00:09:49,438
Oh, Casey Jones, I got it.
That's hilarious.
225
00:09:49,471 --> 00:09:52,006
- Yeah.
- "Even machines must obey the law.
226
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,642
Lawbreakers shouldn't roll
giant steel boulders
227
00:09:54,675 --> 00:09:57,112
down the steps
of burning buildings!"
228
00:09:58,512 --> 00:09:59,580
What was that?
229
00:09:59,613 --> 00:10:00,815
The guy with the hockey mask.
230
00:10:02,349 --> 00:10:05,453
Oh, Friday the 13th, okay.
[chuckles]
231
00:10:05,487 --> 00:10:07,256
Well, I guess that is
technically true.
232
00:10:07,289 --> 00:10:08,958
Who knows, but whatever.
233
00:10:10,992 --> 00:10:13,295
Why do you want to work
at Versa Corporation?
234
00:10:13,328 --> 00:10:14,963
What is it about ballpoint pens,
235
00:10:14,996 --> 00:10:17,299
razors, and lighters
that excite you?
236
00:10:17,332 --> 00:10:19,367
Uh, guess I always liked
those things.
237
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,237
Right.
238
00:10:23,439 --> 00:10:25,873
It says here you were the voice
in the new Toy Story?
239
00:10:25,906 --> 00:10:27,876
Yes, I was
the Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine.
240
00:10:29,544 --> 00:10:30,946
Really?
241
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:32,480
Actually, it was Hulk Hands.
242
00:10:33,582 --> 00:10:35,050
How did that go?
243
00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:36,517
[loud thud]
244
00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:38,119
Smash...
245
00:10:38,152 --> 00:10:40,288
Actually, it might have been
Sock'em Boppers.
246
00:10:40,322 --> 00:10:42,424
Okay, I get the idea.
247
00:10:42,457 --> 00:10:46,562
Uh, we'll contact you
at jamminbastardo@gmail.com?
248
00:10:46,594 --> 00:10:47,463
Guess what, lady?
249
00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:50,598
Human Resources lady.
250
00:10:51,466 --> 00:10:52,701
I know what you're thinking.
251
00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:53,968
News slash!
252
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,104
Humans aren't resources!
253
00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:58,540
We aren't meant to fuel
your Matrix machines
254
00:10:58,573 --> 00:11:00,708
with our babies' blood, okay?
255
00:11:00,742 --> 00:11:02,444
Soylent Green is people.
256
00:11:02,477 --> 00:11:04,112
Did you know that?
I think you did.
257
00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:06,014
I'm being very nice.
258
00:11:06,046 --> 00:11:08,850
Just because you're being nice doesn't
mean you aren't being a dick about it.
259
00:11:08,883 --> 00:11:11,119
Okay, I'm done!
This is ridiculous.
260
00:11:11,152 --> 00:11:12,653
- I'm shredding your resume! Ow!
- No, no, just wait!
261
00:11:12,686 --> 00:11:14,088
[electric buzzes]
262
00:11:14,122 --> 00:11:15,056
[sharp thuds]
263
00:11:15,089 --> 00:11:16,324
[electric buzzes continue]
264
00:11:20,795 --> 00:11:22,831
[high-pitched ringing]
265
00:11:27,736 --> 00:11:29,771
[eerie music]
266
00:11:34,141 --> 00:11:35,977
[coughs]
267
00:11:40,681 --> 00:11:42,951
[keyboard clacking]
268
00:11:50,157 --> 00:11:52,460
[tap running]
269
00:11:53,627 --> 00:11:56,297
[toilet flush runs on]
270
00:12:01,435 --> 00:12:03,506
Um... what the hell
are you doing?
271
00:12:04,238 --> 00:12:06,675
Lisa, I do not have time
for you right now!
272
00:12:14,649 --> 00:12:15,618
Dammit.
273
00:12:20,088 --> 00:12:21,456
Where is Casey?
274
00:12:21,488 --> 00:12:24,059
The shredder blew up
and she left me there for dead.
275
00:12:24,092 --> 00:12:26,862
What? Oh, my God! Are you okay?
No, I... I haven't seen him.
276
00:12:26,895 --> 00:12:27,996
Him?
277
00:12:28,029 --> 00:12:29,731
Yes.
Here let me get your jacket,
278
00:12:29,764 --> 00:12:31,266
you seem a little out of sorts.
279
00:12:31,299 --> 00:12:32,634
What is this? The fat guy
280
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:34,468
in a little coat bit
from Tommy Boy?
281
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:36,771
- I'm leaving, lady.
- No...
282
00:12:36,804 --> 00:12:38,840
[calm music]
283
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,112
Hey! She was just...
284
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:48,349
Christina, cancel my two o'clock.
I can't deal right now.
285
00:12:52,453 --> 00:12:54,223
What is going on around here?
286
00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:58,894
- [Casey screams]
- [lively music]
287
00:12:58,926 --> 00:13:01,295
[CJ] All I remember
is being shocked.
288
00:13:01,328 --> 00:13:06,734
Like a huge shock from my toes
through my butt hole to my head.
289
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,002
I mean, I was...
290
00:13:08,035 --> 00:13:09,905
I didn't even realize
I'd had swapped bodies
291
00:13:09,938 --> 00:13:12,540
And then I'm looking
at myself in the sidewalk.
292
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:13,909
[Casey] Oh, my God!
How did this happen?
293
00:13:13,942 --> 00:13:15,944
- [CJ] I don't know.
- Why are you me? Why am I you?
294
00:13:15,977 --> 00:13:17,679
- I don't know.
- How am I going to take selfies now?
295
00:13:17,712 --> 00:13:19,414
- I don't know. I don't...
- How do we swap back?
296
00:13:19,447 --> 00:13:20,816
- What if we're like this forever?
- ...know.
297
00:13:20,848 --> 00:13:22,117
[CJ]
Pump the brakes, lady!
298
00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:24,586
I don't swap bodies every day.
299
00:13:24,618 --> 00:13:25,854
Take a chill pill.
300
00:13:27,054 --> 00:13:28,991
How can you be
so calm about this?
301
00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:30,259
I have to be this guy?
302
00:13:31,126 --> 00:13:32,026
Who is this guy?
303
00:13:32,727 --> 00:13:34,829
Who are you? And why
aren't you freaking out?
304
00:13:34,862 --> 00:13:37,732
I mean, I didn't have anything else
to do today. It's not a big deal.
305
00:13:37,766 --> 00:13:40,569
I'm unemployed and I live
with my brother, Roy. Who cares?
306
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,670
Well, I'm a career-minded woman.
307
00:13:42,703 --> 00:13:44,272
And I have a lot
going on right now.
308
00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:45,907
I can't go into work like this!
309
00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:47,108
Okay.
310
00:13:47,141 --> 00:13:48,843
If you keep up
appearances for me,
311
00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,646
I'll keep up
appearances for you.
312
00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,115
Do you know the first thing
about being a woman?
313
00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:55,483
Uh, they like to be
that Fixer Upper lady.
314
00:13:55,516 --> 00:13:56,785
Make cupcakes,
315
00:13:56,818 --> 00:13:59,521
go antique shopping
and crank out kids.
316
00:13:59,554 --> 00:14:01,957
Mm... okay,
that's pretty accurate.
317
00:14:01,990 --> 00:14:04,192
Alright, sweetheart.
What do guys like?
318
00:14:04,224 --> 00:14:06,494
Okay. I want to sit
on a throne of swords,
319
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:09,064
a big cup of mead,
320
00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:11,732
and one of those hunks of meat,
just chomp on it.
321
00:14:11,766 --> 00:14:12,635
Alright!
322
00:14:13,669 --> 00:14:15,504
Listen, I don't want
to do this as much as you.
323
00:14:15,536 --> 00:14:16,905
[lively music]
324
00:14:16,938 --> 00:14:18,973
I'll be you, and you be me,
325
00:14:19,974 --> 00:14:21,375
and that's it.
326
00:14:21,409 --> 00:14:23,312
What do you say?
Deal or no deal?
327
00:14:23,344 --> 00:14:24,646
Mm... okay.
328
00:14:24,679 --> 00:14:25,847
But first, let me get a selfie
329
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,482
because I look
too pretty right now.
330
00:14:27,515 --> 00:14:30,452
Come on! Don't tell me
I'm some sort of basic bitch.
331
00:14:30,484 --> 00:14:34,822
- Ow...
- [CJ] We had no choice but to suck it up and swap.
332
00:14:34,856 --> 00:14:37,225
We had to. We had to live
each other's lives.
333
00:14:37,257 --> 00:14:38,793
This is a nightmare.
334
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:40,328
This is nice.
335
00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:42,397
[lively music]
336
00:14:44,131 --> 00:14:46,635
[alarm beeping]
337
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,837
One... one, one, one!
338
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:49,738
That's an M&M?
339
00:14:49,771 --> 00:14:51,806
[beeping continues]
340
00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:54,943
Yes, Casey, what do you want?
341
00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:56,912
What is the code
to your security system?
342
00:14:57,811 --> 00:14:59,313
Oh, I forgot about that.
343
00:14:59,347 --> 00:15:02,150
- 90-97.
- 90-97.
344
00:15:02,183 --> 00:15:04,152
You have too much
desirable shit in here.
345
00:15:04,184 --> 00:15:07,388
What this house needs is
a button where you push it
346
00:15:07,421 --> 00:15:09,724
and then a boar head
pops out in the middle
347
00:15:09,757 --> 00:15:12,259
of a pentagram
with a bunch of people's
348
00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,529
pictures with their eye balls
punched out.
349
00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:16,564
I mean, and candles too.
350
00:15:16,598 --> 00:15:18,500
A burglar would see that
and run out of here.
351
00:15:18,532 --> 00:15:21,069
Yeah, I don't think
ADT sells that model.
352
00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:25,708
[birds chirping]
353
00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:31,479
[alarm rings]
354
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:35,551
[sharp thud]
355
00:15:36,317 --> 00:15:39,154
What ungodly hour is this?
356
00:15:39,186 --> 00:15:41,222
[electronic music]
357
00:15:42,323 --> 00:15:43,725
[Casey] Well,
the first day of being a woman,
358
00:15:43,757 --> 00:15:47,161
I found that there was
so many options for clothes.
359
00:15:47,194 --> 00:15:49,698
I thought you just threw on
a pair of jeans
360
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:53,802
and a shirt and then that is
your outfit forever.
361
00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:55,670
[CJ]
I mean, you're really struggling
362
00:15:55,703 --> 00:15:58,640
with the hair
and makeup situation.
363
00:15:58,673 --> 00:15:59,775
More green.
364
00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:01,876
[upbeat electronic music]
365
00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:22,197
[CJ] Um, I definitely
stuck out being a 6'4...
366
00:16:22,229 --> 00:16:24,098
male wearing yoga pants,
367
00:16:24,131 --> 00:16:28,069
- But, um, I refuse to wear...
- Oh, well... anything else?
368
00:16:28,102 --> 00:16:30,271
...whatever the hell you had
in that closet.
369
00:16:30,304 --> 00:16:32,340
[upbeat music]
370
00:16:33,141 --> 00:16:34,009
[softly burps]
371
00:16:42,382 --> 00:16:43,819
Oh, my God.
372
00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:45,953
[soft clicks]
373
00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:47,488
There are so many ants!
374
00:16:49,223 --> 00:16:50,425
I know.
375
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:52,327
- [birds chirping]
- [softly snorts]
376
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,629
I knew that too. I mean,
I'm cool with ants.
377
00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:56,264
[mug softly clanks]
378
00:16:56,296 --> 00:16:57,364
So, what are you doing today,
379
00:16:57,397 --> 00:16:58,332
big fella?
380
00:17:01,435 --> 00:17:03,003
Well, we, big fellas,
381
00:17:03,036 --> 00:17:04,638
are going
to the golf course today.
382
00:17:04,672 --> 00:17:05,507
Did you forget?
383
00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:09,010
- No.
- Good, because I need my caddy.
384
00:17:09,042 --> 00:17:10,311
And I also need you
to change out
385
00:17:10,345 --> 00:17:12,481
of Mom's yoga pants. Stat.
386
00:17:12,513 --> 00:17:14,683
Or at the very least,
put a fig leaf over your junk
387
00:17:14,715 --> 00:17:16,385
because you're
practically nude in my kitchen.
388
00:17:18,819 --> 00:17:20,856
[printer whirring]
389
00:17:23,323 --> 00:17:25,326
[CJ] I mean,
I've worked so hard for my job
390
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:26,828
to get to where I was.
391
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:29,730
The thought of him
taking my position
392
00:17:29,763 --> 00:17:32,199
- was probably my worst nightmare come to life.
- Good morning!
393
00:17:32,232 --> 00:17:33,668
- [phone ringing]
- Good morning.
394
00:17:34,668 --> 00:17:36,537
Oh, here is this report
you requested.
395
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:37,505
There you go.
396
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:40,809
- Give me that.
- So that thing with you and Casey yesterday.
397
00:17:40,841 --> 00:17:43,043
That was odd. Are you okay?
398
00:17:43,077 --> 00:17:45,079
- Me? Casey?
- Mm-hmm.
399
00:17:45,113 --> 00:17:48,283
No. Everything
couldn't be more normal.
400
00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:51,353
Okay, just double-checking. Um, do you want
me to call him back for a second interview?
401
00:17:52,186 --> 00:17:54,488
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
He's...
402
00:17:54,521 --> 00:17:57,158
Right, he's a... [chuckles]
bit of a loser, right?
403
00:17:57,192 --> 00:17:58,393
No.
404
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,028
No, I... he's a cool guy.
405
00:18:00,761 --> 00:18:02,530
CIA, you know.
406
00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:04,465
Really? You're sure?
407
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:05,967
Did he tell you that?
408
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,603
Because aren't they supposed to,
like, keep that stuff secret?
409
00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:10,472
Yeah... pillow talk.
410
00:18:11,505 --> 00:18:13,007
We had sex.
411
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:16,110
- Oh, okay...
- You know, his big, fat penis
412
00:18:16,144 --> 00:18:20,214
made me squirt all over
the place. I mean, it was wild.
413
00:18:20,248 --> 00:18:25,086
- [whispers] Waterfalls.
- Wow. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard you say.
414
00:18:25,118 --> 00:18:27,455
Sex talk. What can I say?
You know how us girls are.
415
00:18:28,822 --> 00:18:30,724
You know what?
I'm going to go to my office.
416
00:18:30,758 --> 00:18:33,028
I have meetings to schedule.
417
00:18:34,561 --> 00:18:36,598
- [sharp thud]
- [light jazz music]
418
00:18:38,299 --> 00:18:40,535
You're dressed
like Prince George.
419
00:18:40,568 --> 00:18:42,371
[laughs] Can I get a...
420
00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:44,705
Oh, look at you!
You're learning!
421
00:18:44,739 --> 00:18:46,942
- Alright.
- I've been in the country club a few times.
422
00:18:47,642 --> 00:18:49,344
What country club?
I don't take you to a country club.
423
00:18:50,211 --> 00:18:52,981
It's a joke man. Lighten up.
424
00:18:53,013 --> 00:18:55,583
Alright. Well,
now is not the time for joking.
425
00:18:56,283 --> 00:18:57,685
Now is the time for training.
426
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,521
Mark my words, brother.
427
00:18:59,553 --> 00:19:02,489
This time next week,
I'll make it into the top 500.
428
00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:03,591
In the world?
429
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:04,492
In the state!
430
00:19:05,526 --> 00:19:06,395
[sharp thud]
431
00:19:08,363 --> 00:19:09,231
Hot damn.
432
00:19:11,165 --> 00:19:12,367
[laughs]
433
00:19:14,269 --> 00:19:15,737
[golf clubs softly rattle]
434
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:19,107
The short time I had at Versa,
I knew that place was...
435
00:19:20,675 --> 00:19:21,776
all over the place.
436
00:19:21,809 --> 00:19:22,676
[light electronic music]
437
00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:24,045
So, get this.
438
00:19:24,078 --> 00:19:25,747
Pizza Pop-Tarts.
439
00:19:26,614 --> 00:19:29,517
Ted, we don't own Pop-Tarts.
440
00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:31,252
We don't even sell food!
441
00:19:31,286 --> 00:19:33,888
We wouldn't call it Pop-Tarts,
maybe, like, Pizza Pastry.
442
00:19:33,921 --> 00:19:36,458
Right? A pastry with the sauce,
meat, and cheese
443
00:19:36,491 --> 00:19:38,193
baked right in the crust
444
00:19:38,225 --> 00:19:39,460
that you put in a toaster.
445
00:19:40,528 --> 00:19:41,430
What is the icing?
446
00:19:42,696 --> 00:19:44,498
Don't tell me it's one of those
weird ones without the icing.
447
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,800
Icing goes on Toaster Strudels.
448
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:48,336
It wouldn't be icing!
We'd have, like, you know,
449
00:19:48,368 --> 00:19:50,704
marinara in the packets,
alright?
450
00:19:50,738 --> 00:19:53,107
I'm telling you,
it's brilliant. It's delicious.
451
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:54,442
It's "brillicious."
452
00:19:55,342 --> 00:19:56,444
Pizza Pop-Tarts.
453
00:20:00,415 --> 00:20:03,151
Okay, can we get
this meeting started?
454
00:20:03,184 --> 00:20:05,253
[paper lightly rustles]
455
00:20:07,187 --> 00:20:10,191
So, the big deal is this week.
456
00:20:11,526 --> 00:20:12,794
That is the word on the street.
457
00:20:14,028 --> 00:20:17,299
Suffice to say this is
very important to us and, look,
458
00:20:17,331 --> 00:20:20,001
I know you're going to knock it
out of the park. I know this.
459
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:22,036
I... I just want everything
to go off without a hitch,
460
00:20:22,069 --> 00:20:24,071
and these guys are
a little old fashioned,
461
00:20:24,105 --> 00:20:26,408
so I was wondering
if you wouldn't mind
462
00:20:26,441 --> 00:20:27,809
wearing a dress to the meeting.
463
00:20:28,975 --> 00:20:29,844
A dress?
464
00:20:31,078 --> 00:20:32,414
Wait... you think I'm gay?
465
00:20:33,213 --> 00:20:34,316
No, I didn't say that!
466
00:20:34,348 --> 00:20:36,384
That's not something I...
I mean...
467
00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:38,185
That's none of my business,
you know.
468
00:20:38,219 --> 00:20:41,122
I... look,
forget I said anything.
469
00:20:41,155 --> 00:20:43,558
Here is a little petty cash.
470
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:44,693
Means nothing.
471
00:20:44,725 --> 00:20:46,427
Go buy yourself s...
something nice.
472
00:20:46,461 --> 00:20:47,495
Don't sue.
473
00:20:47,528 --> 00:20:48,829
Ge... get yourself some jeans,
474
00:20:48,863 --> 00:20:51,533
a new flannel shirt
or something, or a dress.
475
00:20:51,566 --> 00:20:53,735
Forget I said anything.
Forget it, forget it.
476
00:20:53,768 --> 00:20:55,770
[light lively music]
477
00:20:55,802 --> 00:20:58,973
[Casey] I did take it more
seriously than I would
478
00:20:59,005 --> 00:21:00,708
if I was having that job
479
00:21:00,742 --> 00:21:03,177
because I hate authority,
I hate bosses.
480
00:21:03,211 --> 00:21:05,914
- [CJ] You also don't like responsibility, I feel.
- Hey! What's up?
481
00:21:05,946 --> 00:21:07,915
[CJ] To you, it was kind
of, like, a hangout.
482
00:21:07,948 --> 00:21:09,216
My man! How you doing?
483
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,251
[Casey]
It... I was a bit unprofessional.
484
00:21:11,284 --> 00:21:14,254
What you got over there? It's, uh,
interesting. Keep up the good work.
485
00:21:14,288 --> 00:21:16,524
But I showed up.
I wanted you to keep your job.
486
00:21:16,557 --> 00:21:19,294
I wanted you to do well
and land that deal.
487
00:21:20,027 --> 00:21:21,896
You were probably there
just for the food.
488
00:21:21,928 --> 00:21:23,230
Yeah.
489
00:21:23,263 --> 00:21:24,532
Oh! Doughnuts.
490
00:21:28,136 --> 00:21:30,504
[Casey] I didn't know you
had different taste buds.
491
00:21:30,538 --> 00:21:33,008
That was a... that was
a bit of a shock for me.
492
00:21:35,742 --> 00:21:38,046
I thought everyone had
the same taste buds, but...
493
00:21:38,078 --> 00:21:39,880
Well, you learn something new
494
00:21:39,914 --> 00:21:43,285
- when you swap bodies.
- This guy's face is less sensitive than my legs?
495
00:21:44,018 --> 00:21:45,587
[soft scratch]
496
00:21:53,794 --> 00:21:55,062
[softly sighs]
497
00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:59,067
[phone ringing]
498
00:22:03,538 --> 00:22:04,939
Hello?
499
00:22:04,972 --> 00:22:06,174
What is this big deal?
500
00:22:06,206 --> 00:22:07,508
I just had a meeting
with your boss
501
00:22:07,541 --> 00:22:09,109
and I had no idea
what was going on.
502
00:22:09,143 --> 00:22:11,279
The boss will handle everything.
503
00:22:11,311 --> 00:22:13,415
The less you know, the better.
504
00:22:13,447 --> 00:22:15,115
That way you won't screw it up!
505
00:22:15,148 --> 00:22:17,318
Come on!
I'm going in blind here.
506
00:22:17,350 --> 00:22:20,021
[loudly sighs]
The short of it is
507
00:22:20,053 --> 00:22:23,657
a Japanese company is acquiring
Versa for a billion dollars.
508
00:22:23,691 --> 00:22:24,992
Wait. A billion?
509
00:22:25,026 --> 00:22:27,729
[snorts] Should be more,
like, four billion.
510
00:22:27,761 --> 00:22:31,465
That's what Star Wars went for,
and Marvel, and UFC.
511
00:22:31,499 --> 00:22:33,168
Come on!
Don't sell yourself short.
512
00:22:33,201 --> 00:22:36,504
We aren't UFC.
We aren't Star Wars.
513
00:22:36,537 --> 00:22:38,440
We make cheap plastic crap!
514
00:22:38,473 --> 00:22:41,108
Well, you guys actually
make something.
515
00:22:41,142 --> 00:22:43,044
It's not a bunch
of sweaty dudes in a cage
516
00:22:43,077 --> 00:22:45,213
or furry animals
running around the forest.
517
00:22:45,245 --> 00:22:47,748
Listen.
This deal is above my pay grade
518
00:22:47,781 --> 00:22:50,452
and it is definitely
above yours.
519
00:22:51,251 --> 00:22:52,720
Just smile and nod.
520
00:22:52,752 --> 00:22:53,821
[sighs]
521
00:22:53,855 --> 00:22:54,723
Got it?
522
00:22:55,522 --> 00:22:57,826
Just smile and nod. Got it.
523
00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,932
- [bottles softly rattle]
- [Roy burps] Oh.
524
00:23:08,636 --> 00:23:13,074
[laughs] Oh, shit!
525
00:23:16,877 --> 00:23:19,347
I c... I can't, I...
[continues to laugh]
526
00:23:19,379 --> 00:23:20,881
I don't need
to hear this right now!
527
00:23:20,915 --> 00:23:23,283
I'm bloated, I'm body-conscious!
528
00:23:23,317 --> 00:23:25,086
[loudly laughs]
529
00:23:25,118 --> 00:23:26,820
I'm going on a diet. That's it!
530
00:23:26,854 --> 00:23:29,057
[calm music]
531
00:23:29,089 --> 00:23:29,957
[door slams]
532
00:23:38,532 --> 00:23:39,800
[tense music]
533
00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:42,136
- Oh, my God! [hisses]
- [hisses]
534
00:23:42,168 --> 00:23:45,839
I am so sorry for springing this on
you, but I need you to watch Alex.
535
00:23:45,873 --> 00:23:47,475
- Sure.
- Oh, you're a doll.
536
00:23:47,508 --> 00:23:50,245
- [CJ] You're the doll.
- We got to get a new lenser.
537
00:23:50,278 --> 00:23:52,480
The last one ankled on us
538
00:23:52,512 --> 00:23:56,216
and we need to be ready
to bow on the Peacock by fall.
539
00:23:56,250 --> 00:23:58,353
What did I tell you
about talking in Variety Speak?
540
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:00,821
It's the worst thing ever.
541
00:24:00,855 --> 00:24:02,491
[Maria]
I'll be back in a few hours.
542
00:24:03,190 --> 00:24:05,559
Well, I am headed out.
543
00:24:05,592 --> 00:24:07,761
Later, sis. Be good.
544
00:24:07,794 --> 00:24:09,063
Later... sis.
545
00:24:11,432 --> 00:24:13,334
[door squeaks]
546
00:24:13,367 --> 00:24:14,702
[door closes]
547
00:24:14,734 --> 00:24:17,038
Who are you and why are you
playing with my Yoda?
548
00:24:17,070 --> 00:24:17,938
[sighs]
549
00:24:18,806 --> 00:24:20,675
[ethereal music]
550
00:24:20,707 --> 00:24:23,777
[woman on video] In a moment I
will guide you through a body scan
551
00:24:24,478 --> 00:24:27,348
to begin the process
of relaxation,
552
00:24:27,380 --> 00:24:30,117
so you can release tension
and negativity.
553
00:24:31,484 --> 00:24:33,655
By letting go completely,
554
00:24:33,687 --> 00:24:35,523
you can turn
your attention inward.
555
00:24:36,790 --> 00:24:39,359
[Roy, in deep voice]
Today marks the day
556
00:24:39,393 --> 00:24:42,030
the teddy bears
will have their picnic.
557
00:24:42,963 --> 00:24:44,965
Little Bunny Foo Foo,
558
00:24:44,999 --> 00:24:47,168
hopping through the forest,
559
00:24:47,201 --> 00:24:52,140
scooping up field mice
and bopping them on the head!
560
00:24:52,173 --> 00:24:53,942
[maniacal laughing]
561
00:24:53,974 --> 00:24:56,977
- [coughs and chuckles]
- [woman] ...cool air as it passes
562
00:24:57,011 --> 00:24:58,547
into your nostrils
563
00:25:01,115 --> 00:25:03,718
[phone rings]
564
00:25:07,754 --> 00:25:10,791
- Hello?
- Some woman dropped off her kid.
565
00:25:10,825 --> 00:25:12,160
I think it's your sister.
566
00:25:12,193 --> 00:25:15,997
Oh. That's just Maria and Alex.
He's well behaved.
567
00:25:16,030 --> 00:25:17,898
Actually,
while I have you on the line,
568
00:25:17,932 --> 00:25:20,969
what's with your brother
saying creepy shit to me?
569
00:25:21,001 --> 00:25:22,169
Like what?
570
00:25:22,203 --> 00:25:24,172
Like straight out
of a horror movie.
571
00:25:24,204 --> 00:25:25,872
Oh, he's just being funny.
572
00:25:25,905 --> 00:25:27,508
I make my own horror
movie trailers
573
00:25:27,540 --> 00:25:28,643
and put them on YouTube.
574
00:25:28,675 --> 00:25:29,977
Is that what you meant
when you said
575
00:25:30,011 --> 00:25:31,913
you're a voice-over artist?
576
00:25:31,945 --> 00:25:33,280
Um...
577
00:25:33,313 --> 00:25:34,748
I kind of am.
578
00:25:35,915 --> 00:25:37,018
Whatever. Goodbye.
579
00:25:40,021 --> 00:25:41,356
[sighs]
580
00:25:41,388 --> 00:25:43,491
What can you tell me
about girls?
581
00:25:43,523 --> 00:25:46,393
Um, in video games
they can jump higher.
582
00:25:46,426 --> 00:25:47,728
[calm jazz music]
583
00:25:47,761 --> 00:25:49,797
How did you think I was
in the actual Toy Story?
584
00:25:49,829 --> 00:25:52,032
- I just don't get that.
- I never once believed
585
00:25:52,066 --> 00:25:54,335
you were
in the actual Toy Story.
586
00:25:54,367 --> 00:25:56,870
- Um... okay.
- I think you believed
587
00:25:56,904 --> 00:26:00,375
- you were really in the actual Toy Story.
- [softly chuckles]
588
00:26:00,407 --> 00:26:02,010
You thought
that video was funny.
589
00:26:03,778 --> 00:26:04,779
After the fact.
590
00:26:11,284 --> 00:26:13,320
[lively music]
591
00:26:13,354 --> 00:26:14,989
I ran out
of your favorite flavor.
592
00:26:15,021 --> 00:26:16,957
Doesn't that make you angry?
593
00:26:16,991 --> 00:26:19,126
My analyst wouldn't like me
when I'm angry.
594
00:26:19,159 --> 00:26:22,562
She says I get upset at things
that remind me of my mother.
595
00:26:22,596 --> 00:26:24,632
The problem is,
she reminds me of my mother.
596
00:26:24,665 --> 00:26:26,334
It's a vicious cycle.
597
00:26:28,903 --> 00:26:31,373
[deeply inhales and exhales]
598
00:26:34,675 --> 00:26:35,542
[birds chirping]
599
00:26:35,576 --> 00:26:37,612
[guitar playing]
600
00:26:39,446 --> 00:26:40,614
[knocks on the door]
601
00:26:46,654 --> 00:26:48,088
- Hey.
- [Roy] Hi.
602
00:26:48,121 --> 00:26:49,223
It's Casey here?
603
00:26:49,255 --> 00:26:51,492
Oh, no, he went out for a run,
604
00:26:51,524 --> 00:26:52,826
so, yeah, just me.
605
00:26:53,761 --> 00:26:54,995
- Okay.
- Yeah.
606
00:26:55,029 --> 00:26:56,263
I... but, hey,
since you're out there,
607
00:26:56,297 --> 00:26:59,100
could you throw
this pizza box away for me?
608
00:26:59,133 --> 00:27:01,402
- Sure.
- Awesome. Thank you.
609
00:27:01,434 --> 00:27:02,703
Oh, but not there, though!
610
00:27:02,736 --> 00:27:04,271
Casey can't see it.
611
00:27:04,305 --> 00:27:05,606
Uh, he's on a health fit.
612
00:27:05,638 --> 00:27:07,241
We're not supposed
to eat pizza and I did.
613
00:27:07,273 --> 00:27:09,209
Uh, there's a trash can
down there.
614
00:27:09,242 --> 00:27:10,678
- Okay.
- If you can just put in there,
615
00:27:11,645 --> 00:27:13,548
- that'd be really great. Thanks.
- Alright.
616
00:27:13,580 --> 00:27:15,582
Alright. Well, see you around.
617
00:27:17,518 --> 00:27:19,921
Well, when he first mentioned
618
00:27:19,953 --> 00:27:22,823
or implied
that he had a friend, Wendy.
619
00:27:22,857 --> 00:27:25,292
I was expecting maybe a girl
620
00:27:25,326 --> 00:27:27,462
who worked at GameStop
or something.
621
00:27:28,162 --> 00:27:32,701
- It takes a special kind of person to understand Casey.
- Oh, dammit.
622
00:27:33,834 --> 00:27:35,903
- Hey.
- Hello.
623
00:27:35,935 --> 00:27:37,672
Would you like some pizza?
624
00:27:37,704 --> 00:27:38,973
No, don't tempt me with that.
625
00:27:39,005 --> 00:27:41,141
- I'm trying to avoid junk food.
- Oh, oops.
626
00:27:41,175 --> 00:27:42,643
Okay, not doing that then.
627
00:27:42,675 --> 00:27:44,678
We need to, like,
catch up with Wendy,
628
00:27:44,712 --> 00:27:46,714
- see what she... Oh, we don't? Okay.
- No, we don't.
629
00:27:47,481 --> 00:27:51,653
I mean, I'm... I'm not, like,
attracted to her anymore at all,
630
00:27:52,386 --> 00:27:54,288
like, I only have eyes for you.
631
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,390
[CJ]
Hmm... and for Lisa's butt.
632
00:27:58,459 --> 00:28:00,561
[Casey]
She's, like, purely...
633
00:28:00,594 --> 00:28:01,828
How is it going?
634
00:28:01,861 --> 00:28:03,263
...physical. Like, it's...
635
00:28:03,297 --> 00:28:04,598
I mean, not even, like,
636
00:28:04,632 --> 00:28:05,933
I mean, not even l...
637
00:28:05,965 --> 00:28:08,703
You're digging yourself
in a very deep hole.
638
00:28:08,735 --> 00:28:10,972
I know this is coming out
of left field, but, um...
639
00:28:11,672 --> 00:28:13,174
Would you like to go
on a date sometime?
640
00:28:16,109 --> 00:28:19,280
- Sure. Why not?
- Cool.
641
00:28:19,312 --> 00:28:22,149
I can't wait
till you take me out on Tuesday.
642
00:28:22,183 --> 00:28:23,751
- Tuesday good?
- Yeah.
643
00:28:23,783 --> 00:28:25,619
I can't wait either, you know.
644
00:28:25,653 --> 00:28:29,223
Um, so, I'm g... I'm feeling
real gross right now.
645
00:28:29,255 --> 00:28:32,292
I feel so bad. The other day I yelled
at this guy in the women's restroom,
646
00:28:32,326 --> 00:28:34,662
but maybe he identifies
as female.
647
00:28:34,694 --> 00:28:36,463
I got to go take a shower.
648
00:28:36,496 --> 00:28:38,866
- Okay.
- But I'll see you Tuesday.
649
00:28:39,633 --> 00:28:42,703
[coughs] Uh, he's probably
too manly for that.
650
00:28:42,735 --> 00:28:46,573
I don't know. He had very soft,
delicate features.
651
00:28:46,607 --> 00:28:49,042
What does such a sweet girl see
in such a loser?
652
00:28:49,076 --> 00:28:50,745
You ever heard
of baby-faced assassin?
653
00:28:50,778 --> 00:28:53,146
You want my guess?
She is a witch.
654
00:28:53,180 --> 00:28:54,816
Looking
for her next plump victim.
655
00:28:54,848 --> 00:28:56,583
He even had tits.
656
00:28:56,617 --> 00:28:58,519
You're a hoot and a holler.
657
00:28:58,551 --> 00:29:01,455
So she's into you?
Because you're a little "plump" yourself.
658
00:29:03,523 --> 00:29:04,457
Oh...
659
00:29:04,491 --> 00:29:06,993
So, uh. for our date, my place?
660
00:29:07,027 --> 00:29:07,995
Seven o'clock?
661
00:29:08,028 --> 00:29:09,396
- Yeah.
- Tuesday?
662
00:29:10,164 --> 00:29:11,432
Cool, okay.
663
00:29:11,464 --> 00:29:13,501
[light jazz music]
664
00:29:14,335 --> 00:29:16,604
[door loudly squeaks]
665
00:29:18,271 --> 00:29:19,139
Hi.
666
00:29:21,175 --> 00:29:22,376
These are for you.
667
00:29:22,408 --> 00:29:24,145
[Casey]
Yeah, so, she gave me flowers.
668
00:29:24,177 --> 00:29:25,679
- That was something new, I never got that.
- Thanks.
669
00:29:25,713 --> 00:29:28,382
And then she was a bit upset
670
00:29:28,415 --> 00:29:31,819
that we weren't going
to that place, but I thought,
671
00:29:31,851 --> 00:29:34,254
you know,
"It's nice enough here."
672
00:29:34,288 --> 00:29:36,691
So, where are you taking me?
673
00:29:36,723 --> 00:29:38,425
I thought we'd order in.
674
00:29:38,459 --> 00:29:41,162
I thought we were going
somewhere nice.
675
00:29:41,194 --> 00:29:42,663
This is nice.
676
00:29:42,695 --> 00:29:44,765
Yeah, I guess you're right.
677
00:29:45,832 --> 00:29:47,467
Plus, I've got coupons.
678
00:29:48,167 --> 00:29:49,270
Here is the menu. Make sure
679
00:29:49,302 --> 00:29:51,204
it's at least $35,
680
00:29:51,238 --> 00:29:53,040
but not too much over.
681
00:29:53,072 --> 00:29:55,141
Why can't you just relax?
682
00:29:55,175 --> 00:29:56,845
Because I don't want
to waste my money.
683
00:29:57,677 --> 00:30:00,313
Plus, I work every day
684
00:30:00,347 --> 00:30:03,117
burning down
native villages for it.
685
00:30:03,149 --> 00:30:06,486
I want to make sure that their
sacrifice wasn't in vain.
686
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,757
Oh, my God!
Don't be such a drama queen.
687
00:30:09,790 --> 00:30:10,959
I was a little bit...
688
00:30:11,692 --> 00:30:12,793
excited.
689
00:30:12,826 --> 00:30:14,362
Because I was like,
"Alright," like,
690
00:30:14,395 --> 00:30:15,863
"I know girls."
691
00:30:15,896 --> 00:30:17,798
What would you like
to drink this evening, sir?
692
00:30:17,830 --> 00:30:20,001
Two glasses of your finest Cab.
693
00:30:20,033 --> 00:30:20,901
Good.
694
00:30:21,668 --> 00:30:22,636
Thank you.
695
00:30:22,669 --> 00:30:24,170
[light jazz music]
696
00:30:24,203 --> 00:30:26,807
This place is amazing.
697
00:30:26,839 --> 00:30:28,643
I'm so glad you like it.
698
00:30:28,675 --> 00:30:31,279
I actually went
with my sister here one time.
699
00:30:31,311 --> 00:30:32,346
She was going through a breakup
700
00:30:32,378 --> 00:30:34,514
and we came here
and got so drunk,
701
00:30:34,548 --> 00:30:35,950
it was... it was a lot of fun.
702
00:30:35,982 --> 00:30:38,118
Aww, that's so sweet.
703
00:30:38,152 --> 00:30:39,587
I didn't know you had a sister.
704
00:30:41,387 --> 00:30:42,956
Does she live around here?
705
00:30:42,990 --> 00:30:43,857
No.
706
00:30:44,992 --> 00:30:47,461
Uh, what d... what would
you like on the menu? Like, uh,
707
00:30:47,493 --> 00:30:50,330
truffles? Duck? Lobster?
708
00:30:51,331 --> 00:30:52,699
Have whatever you want.
It's on me.
709
00:30:53,533 --> 00:30:55,402
Don't tell me that you
don't like Harry Potter.
710
00:30:55,435 --> 00:30:58,472
Well, I mean, wh... why do they
only take magic lessons?
711
00:30:58,504 --> 00:31:01,107
I mean, they just...
all they do is practice spells.
712
00:31:01,140 --> 00:31:03,810
When you're a woman, you're
either a prude or you're a slut.
713
00:31:03,844 --> 00:31:06,347
Oh! How true.
714
00:31:06,379 --> 00:31:09,382
Also, I don't get why it's
such an accomplishment for guys
715
00:31:09,415 --> 00:31:11,585
to have a lot of sex,
but not for girls.
716
00:31:11,617 --> 00:31:12,787
I know, right?
717
00:31:13,886 --> 00:31:15,188
Oh, it gets on my nerves.
718
00:31:15,222 --> 00:31:16,691
You get it.
719
00:31:16,723 --> 00:31:18,693
Don't you think they could've
found a better love interest
720
00:31:18,725 --> 00:31:21,094
than Kevin James for that movie?
721
00:31:21,127 --> 00:31:23,865
Well, take it up with Aristotle.
722
00:31:24,598 --> 00:31:26,133
He is the one
that defined comedy
723
00:31:26,165 --> 00:31:28,535
as the ugly guy
getting the hot girl.
724
00:31:28,569 --> 00:31:31,638
I love this.
This has been so wonderful.
725
00:31:31,672 --> 00:31:33,574
I'm going to go powder my nose.
726
00:31:33,607 --> 00:31:34,474
You're coming with?
727
00:31:35,274 --> 00:31:38,445
[laughs] You're too cute!
728
00:31:38,479 --> 00:31:40,181
God, I can't stand Trump,
729
00:31:40,213 --> 00:31:41,816
he's so xenophobic.
730
00:31:41,848 --> 00:31:44,452
- And don't act like he's not in bed with those Russian...
- Shh.
731
00:31:45,152 --> 00:31:47,188
Let's stop this serious talk.
732
00:31:48,489 --> 00:31:50,058
Let's just say we...
733
00:31:52,425 --> 00:31:54,061
Uh, do you see
what my eyebrows are doing?
734
00:31:56,963 --> 00:31:59,267
This is the worst date
I've ever had.
735
00:32:00,067 --> 00:32:02,770
This was one
of the best dates I've ever had.
736
00:32:04,171 --> 00:32:05,840
Seriously, I'm so happy!
737
00:32:05,873 --> 00:32:09,610
Really, thank you. I was so looking
forward to hanging out with you.
738
00:32:09,643 --> 00:32:13,146
And this place is lovely.
I had an amazing time.
739
00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:15,816
Really, really wow! [chuckles]
740
00:32:15,848 --> 00:32:17,617
Oh, what a great night.
741
00:32:17,651 --> 00:32:18,886
Yeah.
742
00:32:18,918 --> 00:32:20,821
- Let's get going.
- Alright.
743
00:32:24,223 --> 00:32:25,626
Lisa! Don't leave.
744
00:32:26,393 --> 00:32:28,562
I'm not usually like this.
745
00:32:28,595 --> 00:32:30,831
What? An asshole?
746
00:32:30,864 --> 00:32:32,500
No, I'm usually an asshole.
747
00:32:37,404 --> 00:32:39,973
- [laughing]
- [Casey] Yeah.
748
00:32:40,773 --> 00:32:44,477
[Wendy] Oh, my gosh!
That's so funny! [laughs]
749
00:32:44,511 --> 00:32:45,846
Oh, you're awesome.
750
00:32:45,878 --> 00:32:47,747
[Casey]
Oh, I try. Thank you.
751
00:32:47,780 --> 00:32:49,783
[laughs] That's just too good.
752
00:32:52,152 --> 00:32:54,521
Uh-uh, stop.
753
00:32:55,388 --> 00:32:58,391
Now I'm going to powder my nose.
754
00:32:58,425 --> 00:32:59,292
Okay.
755
00:33:03,463 --> 00:33:05,598
[Casey] I have got to
get out of these pants.
756
00:33:05,632 --> 00:33:07,168
I've been in them all day.
757
00:33:09,669 --> 00:33:11,338
Mm-hmm. Okay.
758
00:33:12,973 --> 00:33:14,375
I guess we're doing this.
759
00:33:19,213 --> 00:33:21,249
[cheerful music]
760
00:33:23,517 --> 00:33:24,419
[phone rings]
761
00:33:25,551 --> 00:33:26,553
Hi, Christina.
762
00:33:27,788 --> 00:33:31,157
- Hi.
- Thought I'd pop in, say hi. Is that a new blazer?
763
00:33:31,191 --> 00:33:32,860
That blue makes
your eyes pop. It's great.
764
00:33:32,893 --> 00:33:35,196
It... it is.
Thank you. Thank you.
765
00:33:35,229 --> 00:33:36,597
Is Casey here?
766
00:33:36,629 --> 00:33:39,666
[chair's wheels rattles]
767
00:33:40,367 --> 00:33:41,801
What's up?
768
00:33:41,835 --> 00:33:43,537
- [bell chiming]
- Anything new?
769
00:33:43,569 --> 00:33:45,138
I found an M&M under your boob.
770
00:33:45,172 --> 00:33:46,607
Oh, I wondered where that went.
771
00:33:47,674 --> 00:33:49,143
Can I have two coffees, please?
772
00:33:50,711 --> 00:33:52,078
That'll be 6.25.
773
00:33:52,111 --> 00:33:54,447
Oh, I got this.
774
00:33:54,481 --> 00:33:55,883
[Casey] Where did you
get all that money?
775
00:33:55,915 --> 00:33:57,650
Have you been stripping
in my body?
776
00:33:57,684 --> 00:33:58,886
From your boss.
777
00:33:59,619 --> 00:34:02,423
Well, I need some because money
is tight right now.
778
00:34:02,455 --> 00:34:05,059
You're just used to living
like a rock star.
779
00:34:05,091 --> 00:34:06,393
You've got to be more frugal.
780
00:34:07,528 --> 00:34:08,495
Here you go!
781
00:34:09,763 --> 00:34:11,632
- Keep the change.
- Oh, thank you.
782
00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:16,136
Well, there is plenty of food
at the house.
783
00:34:16,169 --> 00:34:18,305
Did you break
into my apocalypse supplies?
784
00:34:18,338 --> 00:34:20,607
Are you talking
about the tins of popcorn?
785
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:24,345
And why is all the cheddar, regular, and
caramel popcorn all mixed together like that?
786
00:34:24,377 --> 00:34:26,546
I take out the divider
and shake the tin up.
787
00:34:26,580 --> 00:34:28,348
That's disgusting.
788
00:34:28,381 --> 00:34:30,550
Not as disgusting
as what you rich people eat.
789
00:34:31,318 --> 00:34:35,122
Fish eggs,
and snails or... whatever.
790
00:34:35,155 --> 00:34:36,323
The job is going well.
791
00:34:37,223 --> 00:34:38,926
Well, that's a surprise.
792
00:34:38,959 --> 00:34:41,462
You'll be happy to know
I kept your date with Wendy.
793
00:34:41,495 --> 00:34:42,363
Wait, what?
794
00:34:43,229 --> 00:34:44,564
How did that go?
795
00:34:44,597 --> 00:34:45,599
Good.
796
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:48,236
Until I didn't know
how to operate your penis.
797
00:34:48,968 --> 00:34:51,271
There's only
so much work I can do...
798
00:34:52,738 --> 00:34:58,345
- to, um, fix him and his mess.
- What... [chuckles]
799
00:34:58,377 --> 00:35:00,881
- I... you know...
- [Casey] I think it was because you couldn't,
800
00:35:00,914 --> 00:35:05,352
- uh, get aroused for a woman because...
- But that's your body.
801
00:35:05,385 --> 00:35:06,653
- ...yeah.
- I can't...
802
00:35:06,687 --> 00:35:08,822
But it's the mind
that is in control of the body.
803
00:35:08,854 --> 00:35:11,858
I... I would've been able
to perform just fine.
804
00:35:11,892 --> 00:35:13,127
I'll talk to you later.
805
00:35:15,328 --> 00:35:17,430
If anyone was going
to screw up that relationship,
806
00:35:17,464 --> 00:35:19,099
it should've been me.
807
00:35:19,131 --> 00:35:20,700
And not you in my body.
808
00:35:20,734 --> 00:35:22,636
What are you,
John Travolta from Face/Off
809
00:35:22,669 --> 00:35:24,305
making moves on my girl?
810
00:35:24,338 --> 00:35:26,140
Why are you trying
to ruin my life?
811
00:35:26,173 --> 00:35:27,841
I'm doing so great for you.
812
00:35:27,874 --> 00:35:30,578
I even scored a date
with Lisa from work.
813
00:35:30,611 --> 00:35:32,580
Lisa? What did you do?
814
00:35:32,613 --> 00:35:34,748
What all girls do
when guys aren't around.
815
00:35:34,781 --> 00:35:35,649
Make out.
816
00:35:35,682 --> 00:35:36,651
And we, like,
817
00:35:37,450 --> 00:35:39,552
had a real passionate kiss,
818
00:35:39,586 --> 00:35:42,756
like, straight tongues
down our throats.
819
00:35:42,789 --> 00:35:44,457
That didn't happen.
820
00:35:44,490 --> 00:35:47,393
- [soft moan]
- [Casey] Okay, well... yeah. I...
821
00:35:47,426 --> 00:35:49,430
I barfed a little
inside my mouth.
822
00:35:49,463 --> 00:35:50,930
She is my frenemy!
823
00:35:50,964 --> 00:35:54,301
Well, you know what they say
about frenemies.
824
00:35:54,334 --> 00:35:56,169
The frenemy of my frenemy...
825
00:35:57,169 --> 00:35:58,805
- is my frenemy.
- She is using you.
826
00:35:59,539 --> 00:36:02,810
In fact, I don't want you getting
with women at all. I'm not a lesbian.
827
00:36:02,843 --> 00:36:04,944
Oh, what was that about you
getting with Wendy?
828
00:36:04,977 --> 00:36:07,847
Oh, I was doing you a favor.
829
00:36:07,881 --> 00:36:11,051
Besides, I kind of wanted to know
what having a penis was like.
830
00:36:11,084 --> 00:36:13,386
Why do you want to know
what it's like being me?
831
00:36:13,419 --> 00:36:15,155
I hate being you.
832
00:36:15,187 --> 00:36:17,023
Oh, like being a girl
is that bad.
833
00:36:17,057 --> 00:36:18,259
I didn't say
I hate being a girl.
834
00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:20,160
I said I hate being you!
835
00:36:20,193 --> 00:36:22,662
Everything I eat turns
to ash on my tongue.
836
00:36:22,696 --> 00:36:24,298
I think I'd notice
if I was eating ash.
837
00:36:24,330 --> 00:36:26,099
Just because I have
a more sensitive palate
838
00:36:26,133 --> 00:36:27,702
- than you doesn't mean...
- You're lonely!
839
00:36:28,568 --> 00:36:30,004
You don't have anyone.
840
00:36:30,671 --> 00:36:33,040
- Not even a dog.
- You're a jerk.
841
00:36:33,073 --> 00:36:33,941
Oh, I'm a jerk!
842
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:35,508
You are the jerk.
843
00:36:36,343 --> 00:36:37,711
Wendy hates me now.
844
00:36:37,743 --> 00:36:40,613
I'm stuck in this body
because of you.
845
00:36:40,647 --> 00:36:43,317
You don't want me getting
with other girls. Fine!
846
00:36:43,350 --> 00:36:45,752
I'm going to get
with so many dudes
847
00:36:45,785 --> 00:36:47,787
your vagina is going
to fall off!
848
00:36:47,821 --> 00:36:50,024
The tempers were flared
a little bit.
849
00:36:50,057 --> 00:36:51,792
Yeah, you had, like,
a temper tantrum.
850
00:36:53,327 --> 00:36:55,495
- What's that booty do?
- Poop!
851
00:36:55,528 --> 00:36:58,364
When I left the café,
I didn't break your heart?
852
00:36:58,397 --> 00:37:00,033
No, I hated your guts.
853
00:37:00,066 --> 00:37:02,001
I'm not the reason
we switched. You are!
854
00:37:02,035 --> 00:37:03,569
And if anyone's John Travolta,
855
00:37:03,602 --> 00:37:05,472
it's you, I'm Nicolas Cage.
856
00:37:05,504 --> 00:37:06,740
And I'm going to eat
so many cupcakes
857
00:37:06,772 --> 00:37:08,608
you're going to be fatter
than you've ever been!
858
00:37:11,977 --> 00:37:13,379
Give me some
of those cupcakes, please.
859
00:37:13,412 --> 00:37:14,648
Oh, no problem.
860
00:37:15,781 --> 00:37:16,850
How many would you like?
861
00:37:16,883 --> 00:37:17,850
Just keep going.
862
00:37:17,883 --> 00:37:20,553
[upbeat electronic music]
863
00:37:20,586 --> 00:37:23,690
[girl chuckles] Look at this
guy's yoga pants. [laughs]
864
00:37:29,629 --> 00:37:31,198
Oh, look who it is.
865
00:37:31,231 --> 00:37:32,633
You know, to be honest with you,
866
00:37:33,533 --> 00:37:35,202
I don't think
you can handle this.
867
00:37:35,234 --> 00:37:36,803
Am I supposed to know y'all
from somewhere?
868
00:37:36,836 --> 00:37:37,771
What do we have here?
869
00:37:37,803 --> 00:37:39,173
- Hey!
- Uh-uh.
870
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,609
Now, why does fatty
needs cupcakes, Sassy Kat?
871
00:37:43,642 --> 00:37:46,280
Let's do him a favor and save
him the calories, Ringleader.
872
00:37:46,312 --> 00:37:47,714
At least save him one.
873
00:37:47,747 --> 00:37:49,916
You know, since he bought them
for us, Star Killer.
874
00:37:52,352 --> 00:37:54,855
- [Casey cries]
- [girls laugh]
875
00:37:58,992 --> 00:38:01,028
[whimsical music]
876
00:38:23,115 --> 00:38:24,784
[paper bags softly rustle]
877
00:38:30,323 --> 00:38:31,692
Is there somebody else?
878
00:38:35,995 --> 00:38:38,031
[Casey cries]
879
00:38:48,841 --> 00:38:49,709
[coughs]
880
00:38:52,646 --> 00:38:53,914
Girl problems, huh?
881
00:38:56,850 --> 00:38:57,718
Yeah.
882
00:39:00,419 --> 00:39:01,888
Well, I'll put on some pants.
883
00:39:04,557 --> 00:39:06,593
[calm music]
884
00:39:11,097 --> 00:39:12,466
Ted...
885
00:39:12,499 --> 00:39:14,135
why are we using these chairs?
886
00:39:15,669 --> 00:39:18,806
This is the latest trend
in Japanese business.
887
00:39:18,839 --> 00:39:21,607
You know, the Japanese...
[with accent] they like the chairs.
888
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:23,443
You sound like an Italian.
889
00:39:23,477 --> 00:39:24,877
I sound like Mario.
890
00:39:24,910 --> 00:39:26,914
The Japanese invented Mario.
891
00:39:26,946 --> 00:39:28,415
Not surprised
you didn't know that.
892
00:39:29,716 --> 00:39:31,752
[tense music]
893
00:39:35,589 --> 00:39:37,525
[translator and Mr. Hitchero
speaking Japanese]
894
00:39:42,294 --> 00:39:43,930
[translator] So,
he wants to cut to the chase.
895
00:39:43,964 --> 00:39:45,332
He likes your operation.
896
00:39:45,365 --> 00:39:47,767
We've gone over the financials
and we're very impressed.
897
00:39:47,801 --> 00:39:49,703
We're confident offering
the billion valuation
898
00:39:49,736 --> 00:39:51,571
to purchase Versa
and its holdings.
899
00:39:52,972 --> 00:39:54,841
Uh, tha...
that sounds reasonable.
900
00:39:56,376 --> 00:39:59,178
This is a valuable thing.
901
00:39:59,211 --> 00:40:02,248
I'm not just going
to give it away for nothing.
902
00:40:02,281 --> 00:40:03,816
I want real money.
903
00:40:03,850 --> 00:40:05,586
Not what Jordan makes.
I want to make what the guy
904
00:40:05,618 --> 00:40:07,821
who pays Jordan makes.
905
00:40:07,854 --> 00:40:09,890
[Mr. Hitchero speaking Japanese]
906
00:40:11,825 --> 00:40:13,160
But you all need this deal.
907
00:40:13,193 --> 00:40:16,696
[chuckles] I can go without.
908
00:40:16,729 --> 00:40:19,165
I'll live on the street if it
means you don't get your new toy.
909
00:40:20,432 --> 00:40:24,303
I'd rather cut the baby in half
than to see you have it.
910
00:40:24,336 --> 00:40:26,372
I'd shoot myself in the head
911
00:40:26,406 --> 00:40:28,108
if it meant you got
your suit dirty!
912
00:40:36,216 --> 00:40:37,084
I'll clean that up.
913
00:40:39,452 --> 00:40:41,488
[translator speaking Japanese]
914
00:40:44,624 --> 00:40:47,495
[Hitchero yells in Japanese]
915
00:40:59,705 --> 00:41:01,140
Swish, am I right? [chuckles]
916
00:41:02,042 --> 00:41:03,310
[mimics explosion]
917
00:41:05,544 --> 00:41:07,680
Every time I get close
to someone, they leave me.
918
00:41:09,082 --> 00:41:10,885
Shit man. I... [sighs]
919
00:41:12,385 --> 00:41:14,187
You just got to be who you are,
920
00:41:14,220 --> 00:41:16,223
you know, and if somebody
doesn't like that, then...
921
00:41:17,156 --> 00:41:18,925
it's not worth it, you know.
922
00:41:18,959 --> 00:41:21,294
That's the thing.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
923
00:41:23,095 --> 00:41:24,864
Well, frankly, Casey,
924
00:41:24,897 --> 00:41:25,999
you're kind of a loser.
925
00:41:26,031 --> 00:41:28,501
But, if you do
exactly as I tell you to,
926
00:41:28,535 --> 00:41:30,271
I can help you get
Wendy back, alright?
927
00:41:31,403 --> 00:41:32,272
Wendy?
928
00:41:34,607 --> 00:41:35,975
Yeah, Wendy,
the hot Italian chick.
929
00:41:36,008 --> 00:41:38,311
Wh... what are you crying about,
what's going on?
930
00:41:38,345 --> 00:41:40,080
- [birds chirping]
- [cellphone chimes]
931
00:41:41,747 --> 00:41:43,783
[light suspenseful music]
932
00:41:45,852 --> 00:41:47,620
[phone ringing]
933
00:41:51,091 --> 00:41:52,359
[sharp thuds]
934
00:41:56,261 --> 00:41:58,765
Maybe she didn't translate it
word-for-word.
935
00:41:58,798 --> 00:42:00,734
She said she'd clean it up.
936
00:42:00,767 --> 00:42:02,769
[Lisa]
Did you see them storm off?
937
00:42:02,801 --> 00:42:04,771
You probably got that
poor girl's head chopped off
938
00:42:04,803 --> 00:42:06,372
with a samurai sword.
939
00:42:06,406 --> 00:42:08,108
The Japanese
don't still do that.
940
00:42:08,140 --> 00:42:10,010
It's a fluid situation.
941
00:42:10,042 --> 00:42:13,012
If by fluid you mean
it's an episode of CSI,
942
00:42:13,046 --> 00:42:15,316
then, yeah,
it's a fluid situation.
943
00:42:16,415 --> 00:42:18,118
I thought you and me
were brohams.
944
00:42:18,151 --> 00:42:20,721
Is this about me saying
your illogical statements
945
00:42:20,754 --> 00:42:22,323
make robots' brains explode?
946
00:42:23,122 --> 00:42:24,457
That's a good thing.
947
00:42:24,490 --> 00:42:26,425
You could stop
the next Terminator uprising.
948
00:42:26,459 --> 00:42:29,562
They make a robot now
that can eat human flesh.
949
00:42:29,595 --> 00:42:30,997
She made a pass at me.
950
00:42:31,031 --> 00:42:32,532
Is this true?
951
00:42:32,564 --> 00:42:34,033
I believe I read it on Wired.
952
00:42:34,066 --> 00:42:36,969
N... no,
not about The Terminators.
953
00:42:37,002 --> 00:42:39,805
The... relationship you have.
954
00:42:39,839 --> 00:42:41,375
Yeah, so?
955
00:42:41,408 --> 00:42:43,043
It's whatever year it is.
956
00:42:43,075 --> 00:42:44,343
It's not that, I...
957
00:42:44,377 --> 00:42:47,948
you know, just...
look, she's your subordinate.
958
00:42:47,981 --> 00:42:48,915
She is?
959
00:42:50,149 --> 00:42:53,086
Yeah, I felt I couldn't turn
you down for fear of reprisal.
960
00:42:53,118 --> 00:42:56,990
Well, I have no choice but to bump
you down to the same position.
961
00:42:57,022 --> 00:42:58,691
That makes the problem go away.
962
00:42:58,725 --> 00:43:02,729
So now, you can choose to
continue this relationship or...
963
00:43:02,761 --> 00:43:04,397
terminate it.
964
00:43:04,430 --> 00:43:05,531
Fine by me.
965
00:43:06,231 --> 00:43:07,100
[scoffs]
966
00:43:08,334 --> 00:43:10,504
It's Casey,
call me back, please.
967
00:43:10,537 --> 00:43:12,372
I... I want to see you naked.
Do you got a...
968
00:43:13,106 --> 00:43:14,707
I... I'm hopeless.
969
00:43:14,740 --> 00:43:18,177
You're not hopeless, man.
You're a dude, alright? It happens.
970
00:43:18,211 --> 00:43:19,446
Okay?
971
00:43:19,479 --> 00:43:22,783
Girls, a lot of the times,
be bitches,
972
00:43:22,816 --> 00:43:24,885
and bitches be haters,
and haters be tripping.
973
00:43:24,917 --> 00:43:26,986
Therefore, bitches
most definitely be tripping.
974
00:43:27,019 --> 00:43:27,887
Am I right?
975
00:43:27,921 --> 00:43:29,957
[birds chirping]
976
00:43:32,624 --> 00:43:34,661
[water lapping]
977
00:43:38,198 --> 00:43:40,033
[loudly sighs] Lisa!
978
00:43:40,066 --> 00:43:41,100
[sharp thud]
979
00:43:41,133 --> 00:43:43,402
Oh, I made a pass?
I don't think so.
980
00:43:43,435 --> 00:43:46,073
[sharp thuds]
981
00:43:46,106 --> 00:43:46,973
[sighs]
982
00:43:48,140 --> 00:43:49,542
Does anyone knock around here?
983
00:43:50,243 --> 00:43:51,412
It is my house.
984
00:43:53,278 --> 00:43:54,447
I brought us some salads.
985
00:43:55,615 --> 00:43:56,982
[bags rustle]
986
00:43:57,015 --> 00:43:58,184
[CJ]
About the other day...
987
00:43:59,118 --> 00:44:00,386
CJ, I'm sorry.
988
00:44:01,220 --> 00:44:04,557
For everything I said,
I... all the stupid stuff.
989
00:44:05,591 --> 00:44:06,459
I was wrong.
990
00:44:07,894 --> 00:44:10,464
You just hit a nerve with
the lonely thing. That's all.
991
00:44:10,497 --> 00:44:12,098
Don't pay attention to me.
992
00:44:12,865 --> 00:44:14,068
You have a family.
993
00:44:15,635 --> 00:44:18,238
Still, I couldn't even see
my parents this Thanksgiving
994
00:44:18,271 --> 00:44:20,140
because I had to work.
995
00:44:22,742 --> 00:44:24,644
I even called
the Butterball help hotline
996
00:44:24,676 --> 00:44:27,247
just to...
have someone to talk to.
997
00:44:28,147 --> 00:44:30,517
I pretended I was cooking
a turkey and everything.
998
00:44:32,385 --> 00:44:33,821
That's... that's dark.
999
00:44:34,821 --> 00:44:37,124
So, anyway,
how did the meeting go?
1000
00:44:38,992 --> 00:44:40,459
Great, uh, you know,
1001
00:44:40,493 --> 00:44:42,828
the FCC just has
to approve of it
1002
00:44:42,861 --> 00:44:46,733
and then they got to dot I's,
cross T's and it's done. [chuckles]
1003
00:44:49,002 --> 00:44:50,104
You mean the FTC, right?
1004
00:44:51,236 --> 00:44:53,439
Yes, you know so much
about this.
1005
00:44:53,472 --> 00:44:55,508
[calm bass music]
1006
00:45:05,218 --> 00:45:09,055
[CJ] I think, when you're literally
inside someone else's body,
1007
00:45:09,088 --> 00:45:11,091
you really can't help
1008
00:45:11,124 --> 00:45:14,361
but become attached to them,
emotionally.
1009
00:45:14,394 --> 00:45:18,531
It just kind of brought us together
as first friends and then...
1010
00:45:19,832 --> 00:45:23,702
I don't know. This was kind
of like the first time
1011
00:45:23,736 --> 00:45:25,638
I wasn't alone any more.
1012
00:45:25,671 --> 00:45:27,907
[gentle music]
1013
00:45:27,941 --> 00:45:28,942
[light switch clicks]
1014
00:45:30,243 --> 00:45:31,378
[dog barks]
1015
00:45:31,410 --> 00:45:33,446
[door squeaks]
1016
00:45:38,383 --> 00:45:39,252
Good morning.
1017
00:45:40,118 --> 00:45:42,254
Where were you last night,
Hot Topic?
1018
00:45:42,287 --> 00:45:43,689
None of your business.
1019
00:45:43,722 --> 00:45:44,657
Wow!
1020
00:45:45,457 --> 00:45:47,293
That's a big smile.
1021
00:45:47,327 --> 00:45:50,164
Was it sexy time
with a girl, huh?
1022
00:45:51,097 --> 00:45:52,064
Oh...
1023
00:45:58,136 --> 00:46:00,173
[bag softly rustles]
1024
00:46:11,751 --> 00:46:13,687
I would've loved
to see the movie
1025
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:15,856
with John Candy and Dan Aykroyd.
1026
00:46:15,888 --> 00:46:18,191
They did, it's called
The Great Outdoors.
1027
00:46:18,223 --> 00:46:19,426
Hey, really?
1028
00:46:20,260 --> 00:46:22,162
W... you know who else
would've made a good pairing?
1029
00:46:22,194 --> 00:46:24,763
Martin Short and Kurt Russell.
1030
00:46:24,796 --> 00:46:26,265
That's Captain Ron.
1031
00:46:26,298 --> 00:46:28,534
I... I wish they make a movie
starring Bill Murray
1032
00:46:28,568 --> 00:46:30,002
and Richard Dreyfuss.
1033
00:46:30,669 --> 00:46:31,972
What do you want, Ted?
1034
00:46:32,004 --> 00:46:33,439
Did you just come in here
to cast things
1035
00:46:33,472 --> 00:46:34,640
that already exist?
1036
00:46:36,008 --> 00:46:37,409
Boss man wants to see you.
1037
00:46:37,443 --> 00:46:38,312
Seems important.
1038
00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:41,848
Great, just what I need today.
1039
00:46:43,682 --> 00:46:45,318
[vocalizes]
1040
00:46:46,385 --> 00:46:48,421
[suspenseful music]
1041
00:46:52,258 --> 00:46:54,493
- [sharp thud]
- [soft splatter]
1042
00:46:59,432 --> 00:47:00,700
Here, you'll want that.
1043
00:47:03,602 --> 00:47:04,604
Okay.
1044
00:47:09,742 --> 00:47:11,111
I heard back from Hitchero...
1045
00:47:12,077 --> 00:47:14,113
About that,
listen, I am so sorry.
1046
00:47:14,147 --> 00:47:15,749
I didn't mean
anything that I said.
1047
00:47:15,781 --> 00:47:17,417
- I don't know what I was thinking, was...
- They countered
1048
00:47:17,450 --> 00:47:19,386
with two and half billion.
1049
00:47:21,354 --> 00:47:24,823
[chuckles] That's more than we
could've ever possibly hoped for!
1050
00:47:24,856 --> 00:47:27,826
- That's great!
- He said that if my employees believed in the company
1051
00:47:27,859 --> 00:47:29,396
that much,
it must be a good one.
1052
00:47:31,763 --> 00:47:32,665
Wow.
1053
00:47:33,633 --> 00:47:34,568
Bottoms up.
1054
00:47:35,568 --> 00:47:36,435
[glasses clink]
1055
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:42,575
[moans]
1056
00:47:43,943 --> 00:47:46,412
Now, if you want your job back,
1057
00:47:46,446 --> 00:47:47,981
I'd like for you
to have it back,
1058
00:47:48,013 --> 00:47:49,816
but suffice to say,
1059
00:47:49,848 --> 00:47:51,852
you're going to have
to break it off with Lisa.
1060
00:47:52,618 --> 00:47:56,823
Oh... [chuckles]
I'll break it off all right.
1061
00:47:56,856 --> 00:47:58,892
[gentle guitar music]
1062
00:48:03,396 --> 00:48:04,631
Why are you so dressed up?
1063
00:48:04,664 --> 00:48:06,499
Can't I dress nice
every once and awhile?
1064
00:48:08,401 --> 00:48:09,502
I suppose you can try.
1065
00:48:10,303 --> 00:48:11,771
Here.
1066
00:48:11,803 --> 00:48:13,039
What is this?
1067
00:48:13,071 --> 00:48:14,907
It's your unemployment check,
dummy.
1068
00:48:14,941 --> 00:48:17,243
Would you endorse it?
You owe me for, like,
1069
00:48:17,276 --> 00:48:18,411
everything.
1070
00:48:18,443 --> 00:48:20,212
So...
And I'll give you this, though.
1071
00:48:21,481 --> 00:48:23,249
You're getting pretty good
at applying for things
1072
00:48:23,281 --> 00:48:25,651
you are woefully
unqualified for.
1073
00:48:25,685 --> 00:48:26,953
You know, like Tesla.
1074
00:48:27,819 --> 00:48:31,191
[laughs] And NASA,
and Versa, and all the A's.
1075
00:48:31,223 --> 00:48:34,193
Versa isn't
that farfetched. I mean...
1076
00:48:34,227 --> 00:48:35,528
Okay.
1077
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:36,528
No, it isn't.
1078
00:48:36,562 --> 00:48:38,031
No, no, I'm with you.
I agree with you.
1079
00:48:38,830 --> 00:48:40,066
No. It isn't.
1080
00:48:41,033 --> 00:48:43,069
[tense music]
1081
00:48:49,475 --> 00:48:50,344
You wanted to see me?
1082
00:48:51,644 --> 00:48:53,245
"Threescore men,
1083
00:48:53,278 --> 00:48:55,414
threescore more.
1084
00:48:55,448 --> 00:48:59,786
Cannot place Humpty Dumpty
as he was before."
1085
00:48:59,818 --> 00:49:00,953
Oh, my God.
1086
00:49:00,986 --> 00:49:02,555
Can we just forget
about this already?
1087
00:49:02,588 --> 00:49:04,691
[suspenseful music]
1088
00:49:05,725 --> 00:49:06,693
[scoffs]
1089
00:49:08,461 --> 00:49:10,229
You opened up a can of worms.
1090
00:49:10,963 --> 00:49:12,131
What are you talking about?
1091
00:49:12,964 --> 00:49:13,934
You shat the bed,
1092
00:49:14,734 --> 00:49:15,936
now you have to sleep in it.
1093
00:49:16,635 --> 00:49:19,071
No. Two wrongs
don't make a right.
1094
00:49:19,104 --> 00:49:21,742
Yes, but three lefts
do make a right.
1095
00:49:22,707 --> 00:49:24,343
You think I'm an idiot?
1096
00:49:24,377 --> 00:49:27,747
- Yeah.
- I just faked being stupid this entire time
1097
00:49:27,780 --> 00:49:30,316
so I could easily climb
the ladder of success.
1098
00:49:31,017 --> 00:49:32,986
"Oh, what's that idiot
doing up there?
1099
00:49:33,019 --> 00:49:35,622
Oh, don't worry, she'll fall off
eventually, just leave her alone."
1100
00:49:35,655 --> 00:49:36,756
Oh, wait!
1101
00:49:38,256 --> 00:49:39,959
Now I'm at the top,
1102
00:49:39,992 --> 00:49:43,796
pouring boiling oil
over the peasants below!
1103
00:49:45,164 --> 00:49:49,102
Do you know how long it took
for humans to disobey God?
1104
00:49:50,569 --> 00:49:51,470
One day.
1105
00:49:52,671 --> 00:49:54,740
Many think it was the serpent
that tempted Adam and Eve.
1106
00:49:54,774 --> 00:49:56,743
No. It was God.
1107
00:49:57,477 --> 00:49:59,345
He placed
the low-hanging fruits.
1108
00:49:59,377 --> 00:50:01,513
He showed them where it was.
What it did.
1109
00:50:01,546 --> 00:50:03,482
Okay. And your point?
1110
00:50:03,515 --> 00:50:06,385
Do you know how long it took
for that same apple
1111
00:50:06,419 --> 00:50:10,990
to hit Isaac Newton in the head
before he discovered gravity?
1112
00:50:11,022 --> 00:50:13,792
[whispering]
Millions of years later.
1113
00:50:13,825 --> 00:50:15,261
Are you sure
you're not an idiot?
1114
00:50:18,196 --> 00:50:21,934
I was testing you
this entire time.
1115
00:50:21,968 --> 00:50:24,471
Like God tested Adam and Eve.
1116
00:50:24,504 --> 00:50:28,241
Like he tested Job
by giving him boils.
1117
00:50:28,274 --> 00:50:31,611
Or Abraham when he told him
to kill his son.
1118
00:50:35,046 --> 00:50:36,082
You see, Lisa,
1119
00:50:37,115 --> 00:50:38,451
you disobeyed me.
1120
00:50:39,519 --> 00:50:42,222
How can I trust you if you won't
kill your son for me?
1121
00:50:43,156 --> 00:50:46,126
If they are stupid enough
to give your ass an interview,
1122
00:50:46,158 --> 00:50:49,328
they might be dumb enough
to actually give you a real job.
1123
00:50:49,361 --> 00:50:50,863
[laughs]
1124
00:50:51,796 --> 00:50:53,165
I mean, for goodness graces,
1125
00:50:53,198 --> 00:50:56,301
you put your YouTube
voice-over work on your résumé.
1126
00:50:56,334 --> 00:50:58,838
And the original
Coca-Cola website.
1127
00:50:58,870 --> 00:51:00,906
[loudly laughs]
1128
00:51:05,611 --> 00:51:06,946
Pack up your stuff and get out.
1129
00:51:09,682 --> 00:51:12,285
Just let me stay.
I'll do whatever you want.
1130
00:51:13,685 --> 00:51:17,289
Put your stuff in the basket.
1131
00:51:17,323 --> 00:51:18,857
[laughs]
1132
00:51:18,890 --> 00:51:23,595
Oh, man, the original Coca-Cola
GeoCities website, that's a...
1133
00:51:23,629 --> 00:51:25,999
[continues to laugh]
1134
00:51:26,031 --> 00:51:29,135
It puts the ID card
in the basket.
1135
00:51:44,350 --> 00:51:45,785
[door closes]
1136
00:51:45,818 --> 00:51:48,388
[loudly chews]
1137
00:51:50,222 --> 00:51:52,258
[birds chirping]
1138
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:56,563
[cellphone rings]
1139
00:51:57,964 --> 00:52:00,867
- CJ, I have some really good news...
- Are you kidding me?
1140
00:52:00,899 --> 00:52:03,102
You interviewed just
to qualify for unemployment?
1141
00:52:03,135 --> 00:52:06,039
- How did you find...
- This has been a joke to you the entire time, huh?
1142
00:52:06,071 --> 00:52:07,740
- I need to...
- You know, some of us have to work for a living!
1143
00:52:07,772 --> 00:52:09,008
Some of us work hard to get
1144
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:10,410
- where we are!
- Can I say something, please?
1145
00:52:10,443 --> 00:52:11,644
You aren't qualified
to work at Versa.
1146
00:52:11,676 --> 00:52:13,178
I just called you in
for an interview
1147
00:52:13,211 --> 00:52:15,747
- because you have the same name as me, okay.
- Oh, my God.
1148
00:52:15,781 --> 00:52:17,684
- Could you please stop talking?
- You aren't even qualified
1149
00:52:17,716 --> 00:52:19,885
- to work at Krispy Kreme!
- You're being crazy right now.
1150
00:52:19,919 --> 00:52:21,988
- Listen, this isn't...
- Did you just call me crazy?
1151
00:52:22,021 --> 00:52:23,923
- Did you just call me crazy?
- No, I didn't call you crazy.
1152
00:52:23,955 --> 00:52:25,325
- I did not call you crazy.
- You know what?
1153
00:52:25,357 --> 00:52:27,160
- You're not crazy.
- Don't speak to me ever again!
1154
00:52:27,193 --> 00:52:28,528
Don't call me. Don't text me.
1155
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:29,928
- I'm blocking you on all forms...
- Oh, my God.
1156
00:52:29,961 --> 00:52:31,396
- Don't block me.
- ...of social media!
1157
00:52:31,430 --> 00:52:33,133
- I'm coming over to your hous...
- Good bye.
1158
00:52:34,332 --> 00:52:35,734
He just hung up on me.
I'm going.
1159
00:52:37,336 --> 00:52:38,338
[softly slurps]
1160
00:52:42,941 --> 00:52:43,876
[car door closes]
1161
00:52:43,908 --> 00:52:45,111
[keys softly rattle]
1162
00:52:49,347 --> 00:52:50,682
Oh, come on!
1163
00:52:50,716 --> 00:52:51,918
I'm mad at you.
1164
00:52:51,950 --> 00:52:52,751
Well, I've got good news,
1165
00:52:52,785 --> 00:52:53,853
you're going
to want to hear this.
1166
00:52:53,885 --> 00:52:54,753
[paper rustles]
1167
00:52:55,488 --> 00:52:56,689
What is this?
1168
00:52:56,722 --> 00:52:58,725
You know your 401k?
1169
00:52:58,758 --> 00:53:02,162
You've been socking away money ever since you
started working at Versa seven years ago.
1170
00:53:02,961 --> 00:53:04,496
Oh, I forgot about that.
1171
00:53:04,530 --> 00:53:06,531
Well, since they have
a stock matching policy,
1172
00:53:06,564 --> 00:53:08,867
you've been accumulating wealth.
1173
00:53:09,968 --> 00:53:12,104
And Versa was worth
a lot less back then.
1174
00:53:14,339 --> 00:53:16,975
- 2.1 million dollars?
- Mm-hmm.
1175
00:53:17,008 --> 00:53:19,144
Versa sold for 2.5 billion.
1176
00:53:19,178 --> 00:53:20,913
He threw in
a little sweetener for, uh,
1177
00:53:20,946 --> 00:53:23,049
being so instrumental
in the deal.
1178
00:53:24,350 --> 00:53:26,019
[deeply inhales] It's going
to be on the news tomorrow.
1179
00:53:26,051 --> 00:53:28,053
CNBC, I'm not sure.
Probably, who cares.
1180
00:53:28,086 --> 00:53:29,588
This changes my life.
1181
00:53:30,289 --> 00:53:32,425
If you want to buy me dinner,
I wouldn't object.
1182
00:53:32,457 --> 00:53:33,359
Or a Jet Ski.
1183
00:53:36,696 --> 00:53:37,998
Hey, can I ask you something?
1184
00:53:40,832 --> 00:53:42,401
What's the deal with Ted?
1185
00:53:42,435 --> 00:53:44,971
Oh, he made self-repairing glass
for the company.
1186
00:53:46,004 --> 00:53:47,339
So he's an inventor?
1187
00:53:48,140 --> 00:53:49,975
More like he said,
"Wouldn't it be cool
1188
00:53:50,008 --> 00:53:53,111
if cracked glass repaired itself
like human skin?"
1189
00:53:53,144 --> 00:53:55,480
Then patented
and gave it to R&D.
1190
00:53:55,513 --> 00:53:57,050
So, he is an idea guy?
1191
00:53:57,850 --> 00:54:00,053
Well, if an idea guy is the
worst thing a person could be,
1192
00:54:00,086 --> 00:54:01,553
then yes, he is an idea guy.
1193
00:54:04,957 --> 00:54:05,892
You know, you're wrong.
1194
00:54:10,196 --> 00:54:12,665
You have a lot of people
in your life who care about you.
1195
00:54:13,899 --> 00:54:14,868
I care about you.
1196
00:54:16,968 --> 00:54:19,805
You're the only person
I can really be myself around.
1197
00:54:21,707 --> 00:54:22,909
You know, if you leave me now,
1198
00:54:22,941 --> 00:54:24,409
you take away
the biggest part of me.
1199
00:54:24,443 --> 00:54:25,645
Okay, it's creepy now.
1200
00:54:25,678 --> 00:54:27,714
[gentle music]
1201
00:54:32,718 --> 00:54:34,754
[suspenseful music on TV]
1202
00:54:43,294 --> 00:54:45,731
Can I lay down in your lap?
I miss myself.
1203
00:54:47,399 --> 00:54:48,267
Sure.
1204
00:54:52,037 --> 00:54:52,906
Thank you.
1205
00:54:56,274 --> 00:54:59,845
So, I have the same name
as the "Ki Ki Ki, Ma Ma Ma" guy?
1206
00:54:59,879 --> 00:55:01,481
No, you have got to learn
1207
00:55:01,513 --> 00:55:05,283
the difference between your
goalie mask wearing maniacs.
1208
00:55:05,316 --> 00:55:07,953
Casey Jones
and Jason are so different.
1209
00:55:09,388 --> 00:55:10,590
[door bangs]
1210
00:55:11,656 --> 00:55:12,658
What's up, boners?
1211
00:55:14,026 --> 00:55:19,065
- [Roy yawns and grunts]
- Oh, hello, Roy. Um...
1212
00:55:19,097 --> 00:55:20,866
- Hello.
- This is CJ.
1213
00:55:22,066 --> 00:55:24,737
That's my brother Roy.
1214
00:55:25,403 --> 00:55:26,271
Hi.
1215
00:55:27,272 --> 00:55:29,040
- [CJ whispers] Did you tell him?
- [whispers] No.
1216
00:55:29,073 --> 00:55:30,675
- You tell him.
- You tell him.
1217
00:55:30,709 --> 00:55:31,977
Shut up! You tell him!
1218
00:55:33,578 --> 00:55:35,214
- Roy?
- Mm...
1219
00:55:35,247 --> 00:55:36,750
We have something to tell you.
1220
00:55:39,452 --> 00:55:40,653
Back a few weeks ago...
1221
00:55:42,888 --> 00:55:45,024
we... when w... when I wen...
1222
00:55:45,057 --> 00:55:46,591
Roy, we switched bodies.
1223
00:55:46,624 --> 00:55:48,227
I'm your brother. What's up?
1224
00:55:51,330 --> 00:55:52,498
[laughs]
1225
00:55:52,531 --> 00:55:54,233
Uh, yeah, I already knew that.
1226
00:55:54,265 --> 00:55:55,734
What?
1227
00:55:55,767 --> 00:55:58,103
It's not like
it wasn't obvious, buddy.
1228
00:55:58,136 --> 00:56:00,573
The only curse word you seem
to know nowadays is shit.
1229
00:56:00,606 --> 00:56:01,808
- Shit!
- So, brother...
1230
00:56:01,841 --> 00:56:04,310
[sighs] what is it like
to have boobs now?
1231
00:56:04,343 --> 00:56:05,611
You want to feel them?
1232
00:56:05,644 --> 00:56:07,180
Oh, very much so.
[crack knuckles]
1233
00:56:07,213 --> 00:56:08,080
- [Casey] Hey!
- [sharp smack]
1234
00:56:08,113 --> 00:56:10,116
Alright. Jesus Christ.
1235
00:56:10,149 --> 00:56:11,617
[whispers]
They taste like cinnamon.
1236
00:56:11,649 --> 00:56:14,052
Like Cinnamon Toast cinnamon?
Oh, my God.
1237
00:56:15,687 --> 00:56:17,923
Alright, so, what kind of stuff
have you guys tried
1238
00:56:17,957 --> 00:56:19,325
to get out of this?
1239
00:56:19,357 --> 00:56:21,426
What do you mean?
What kind of stuff?
1240
00:56:21,459 --> 00:56:25,597
I don't know. You know,
go back to whatever fortune teller machine
1241
00:56:25,631 --> 00:56:27,600
that did this to you
in the first place?
1242
00:56:27,633 --> 00:56:30,535
We were taking
the more wait-and-see approach.
1243
00:56:30,568 --> 00:56:31,903
Yeah, I mean,
we thought we had to learn
1244
00:56:31,937 --> 00:56:33,306
a life lesson or something.
1245
00:56:33,339 --> 00:56:34,774
A life lesson?
1246
00:56:34,807 --> 00:56:36,975
This a Hallmark movie, buddy?
Come on! No.
1247
00:56:37,008 --> 00:56:40,378
You go back to whatever
switched you in the first place.
1248
00:56:40,412 --> 00:56:42,314
It's supposed
to switch you back.
1249
00:56:42,347 --> 00:56:44,716
[music on TV continues]
1250
00:56:44,749 --> 00:56:46,017
The shredder.
1251
00:56:46,051 --> 00:56:46,919
[light switch clicks]
1252
00:56:46,952 --> 00:56:48,988
[light suspenseful music]
1253
00:56:57,095 --> 00:56:59,798
Mm. This is it, huh?
The evil shredder.
1254
00:56:59,832 --> 00:57:01,968
Just missing some claws, huh?
1255
00:57:02,001 --> 00:57:03,269
Freddy Krueger.
1256
00:57:03,301 --> 00:57:05,271
No, that's not Freddy Krueger,
you dumb bitch.
1257
00:57:05,303 --> 00:57:07,272
- Ninja Turtles.
- Okay. focus!
1258
00:57:08,307 --> 00:57:09,209
Okay.
1259
00:57:10,209 --> 00:57:13,545
Let's place our hands
on the shredder as one.
1260
00:57:15,281 --> 00:57:16,616
Roy, you can pour the water.
1261
00:57:16,649 --> 00:57:18,784
Alright, you got it.
Just pour it in the...
1262
00:57:18,816 --> 00:57:22,655
[laughs] Wouldn't it be funny
if all three of us swapped?
1263
00:57:26,158 --> 00:57:28,461
- [Roy groans]
- Oh, c... Jesus, Roy!
1264
00:57:28,493 --> 00:57:29,863
I like my body.
1265
00:57:32,231 --> 00:57:33,533
Are you ready?
1266
00:57:33,566 --> 00:57:34,434
I'm ready.
1267
00:57:35,234 --> 00:57:36,569
Are you sure?
1268
00:57:36,602 --> 00:57:38,004
I'm sure.
1269
00:57:38,037 --> 00:57:39,504
Okay. On three?
1270
00:57:39,537 --> 00:57:40,906
Yes.
1271
00:57:40,939 --> 00:57:43,075
Like, on three, or after three?
1272
00:57:43,107 --> 00:57:45,010
- Start from zero.
- Three. Go! Come on!
1273
00:57:45,044 --> 00:57:45,912
Okay.
1274
00:57:47,580 --> 00:57:50,617
[loud dripping]
1275
00:57:57,055 --> 00:57:59,091
[tense music]
1276
00:58:02,995 --> 00:58:03,930
Did it work?
1277
00:58:06,899 --> 00:58:07,767
No.
1278
00:58:09,401 --> 00:58:10,269
Right.
1279
00:58:10,301 --> 00:58:11,703
[lively music]
1280
00:58:11,736 --> 00:58:14,472
Yeah, shit, guys, I'm out
of ideas. Let's get drunk, huh.
1281
00:58:14,506 --> 00:58:15,375
Sure.
1282
00:58:16,609 --> 00:58:18,444
Actually, I want
to get changed before we go.
1283
00:58:18,477 --> 00:58:20,078
What is wrong
with what you're wearing?
1284
00:58:21,046 --> 00:58:22,314
By me I meant you.
1285
00:58:23,816 --> 00:58:24,884
Oh!
1286
00:58:24,917 --> 00:58:26,552
Well, hey, guys.
1287
00:58:26,584 --> 00:58:28,253
Just came to grab
some last minute stuff
1288
00:58:28,287 --> 00:58:30,555
because I didn't want
to come back in the morning.
1289
00:58:30,589 --> 00:58:32,058
Wait, you were fired?
1290
00:58:32,091 --> 00:58:35,361
Yeah, I messed up
and she fired me.
1291
00:58:35,394 --> 00:58:36,928
Now that the dust has settled...
1292
00:58:36,961 --> 00:58:39,397
The dust hasn't even
begun to settle.
1293
00:58:39,430 --> 00:58:42,301
Well, I guess I'll see
you guys around.
1294
00:58:43,868 --> 00:58:44,736
Lisa, wait.
1295
00:58:46,537 --> 00:58:47,973
Give her her job back.
1296
00:58:49,374 --> 00:58:50,709
Come on.
1297
00:58:52,377 --> 00:58:53,245
Um...
1298
00:58:54,412 --> 00:58:57,349
Okay. I mean, I have to tell
the boss and convince him.
1299
00:58:57,383 --> 00:59:00,252
It's going to be a lot of work
and a lot of effort. I'm not sure.
1300
00:59:01,153 --> 00:59:03,455
The real question is why did
you give her her job back?
1301
00:59:03,488 --> 00:59:05,490
Felt like the right thing to do.
1302
00:59:05,524 --> 00:59:08,060
She probably needed it
more than we did at that point.
1303
00:59:08,093 --> 00:59:09,796
Actually you were talking
about quitting.
1304
00:59:11,597 --> 00:59:13,031
I was?
1305
00:59:13,064 --> 00:59:14,332
Yeah.
1306
00:59:14,365 --> 00:59:16,334
In fact, now that your position
has opened up,
1307
00:59:16,368 --> 00:59:17,971
just offer it to her.
1308
00:59:20,104 --> 00:59:23,274
Well, you know, the business
industry is too cut throat for me
1309
00:59:23,307 --> 00:59:26,277
and with everything going on
with the boss retiring
1310
00:59:26,310 --> 00:59:29,280
- and Ted with his Pizza Pop-Tart enterprise...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1311
00:59:29,314 --> 00:59:31,951
Pizza Pop-Tart? That sounds
"brillicious." [chuckles]
1312
00:59:31,984 --> 00:59:32,852
Don't ask.
1313
00:59:33,618 --> 00:59:34,886
Sure. Why not?
1314
00:59:34,919 --> 00:59:39,457
Oh, my God! You're the best.
Thank you so much.
1315
00:59:39,490 --> 00:59:41,126
I need this job.
1316
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,596
- Thank you, thank you.
- All right! You get to keep your job.
1317
00:59:43,629 --> 00:59:45,297
Yeah, and you don't.
1318
00:59:45,330 --> 00:59:47,933
- So, if you could just put that down over there.
- Oh. In here?
1319
00:59:47,966 --> 00:59:49,168
Yeah, there.
1320
00:59:50,935 --> 00:59:53,071
Anyway, I'm sorry,
I didn't even recognize you.
1321
00:59:53,104 --> 00:59:55,407
You're the guy
from the bathroom the other day.
1322
00:59:55,441 --> 00:59:57,076
You guys are a thing?
1323
00:59:57,109 --> 01:00:00,346
- It's so cute. You look so happy.
- [CJ blows raspberries]
1324
01:00:00,379 --> 01:00:03,516
- [chuckles] Him? No.
- And I'm sorry,
1325
01:00:03,548 --> 01:00:05,150
I don't think
I've met you before.
1326
01:00:05,184 --> 01:00:07,352
Oh, um... [coughs]
1327
01:00:07,385 --> 01:00:09,287
I am Roy.
1328
01:00:09,321 --> 01:00:11,857
I am a professional athlete.
1329
01:00:11,890 --> 01:00:12,759
Bowler?
1330
01:00:14,026 --> 01:00:15,194
Nope, not a bowler.
1331
01:00:15,227 --> 01:00:16,763
Competitive hotdog eater?
1332
01:00:17,595 --> 01:00:19,731
- [laughs] Let me... let me give you a hint.
- Yeah.
1333
01:00:19,765 --> 01:00:22,868
- Okay.
- Yeah. I got it! Baseball player.
1334
01:00:25,236 --> 01:00:28,039
Okay, you know,
I'm just going to go now.
1335
01:00:28,073 --> 01:00:29,642
Thanks. Nice to meet you.
1336
01:00:29,675 --> 01:00:30,877
Where are you guys going?
1337
01:00:32,044 --> 01:00:33,879
Psst.
1338
01:00:33,912 --> 01:00:37,183
One more stop. I want to make your
brother prettier than he's ever been.
1339
01:00:38,015 --> 01:00:38,950
Oh, goody.
1340
01:00:41,452 --> 01:00:43,221
[echoing bangs]
1341
01:00:44,756 --> 01:00:45,957
[gentle music]
1342
01:00:45,990 --> 01:00:47,225
That shade looks good on you.
1343
01:00:48,827 --> 01:00:50,029
Why is it so sticky?
1344
01:00:50,729 --> 01:00:51,631
Don't lick it.
1345
01:00:52,997 --> 01:00:53,899
One more thing.
1346
01:01:05,644 --> 01:01:06,611
Wear this.
1347
01:01:10,015 --> 01:01:12,318
Why is everybody trying
to take my pants off?
1348
01:01:13,318 --> 01:01:15,020
- [sighs]
- [knocks on the door]
1349
01:01:15,053 --> 01:01:16,522
Guys, can we please go now?
1350
01:01:18,089 --> 01:01:20,126
- ["Mexico" by The Pass]
- ♪ With the water with the bottles ♪
1351
01:01:20,158 --> 01:01:21,993
♪ Have your chase reached
to the clouds ♪
1352
01:01:22,026 --> 01:01:24,196
♪ Down to Mexico ♪
1353
01:01:25,696 --> 01:01:26,564
♪ With the moon... ♪
1354
01:01:26,597 --> 01:01:28,300
[yawns] Three beers please.
1355
01:01:28,332 --> 01:01:29,234
Thank you.
1356
01:01:29,267 --> 01:01:31,202
Ah, thanks, man.
1357
01:01:31,236 --> 01:01:33,405
Sure, yeah, no, no problem.
1358
01:01:33,437 --> 01:01:35,140
This place is interesting.
1359
01:01:35,173 --> 01:01:37,709
This is my favorite place
in the entire world.
1360
01:01:37,743 --> 01:01:39,912
Ultraman over there
p... protects me
1361
01:01:39,944 --> 01:01:42,481
when I get very, very drunk.
1362
01:01:42,513 --> 01:01:43,381
- [sharp thud]
- Oh!
1363
01:01:43,414 --> 01:01:44,315
Oh, you two have fun.
1364
01:01:44,348 --> 01:01:45,651
I'm going to go over there now.
1365
01:01:46,752 --> 01:01:48,721
Did he just Garfield us?
1366
01:01:48,754 --> 01:01:49,622
I don't follow.
1367
01:01:49,655 --> 01:01:51,223
Garfield...
1368
01:01:51,256 --> 01:01:53,192
cuts a slice of chocolate cake,
1369
01:01:53,225 --> 01:01:57,530
but then takes the rest
of the Pac-Man looking piece.
1370
01:01:58,330 --> 01:02:00,432
- Alright. I'm paying.
- Oh, what's up, man?
1371
01:02:00,464 --> 01:02:01,834
You want to get in
on this, uh...
1372
01:02:01,867 --> 01:02:03,702
Yeah. I call hot Metroid chick.
1373
01:02:03,734 --> 01:02:05,537
- Alright.
- Don't even try.
1374
01:02:05,571 --> 01:02:07,006
He doesn't just take the piece?
1375
01:02:07,039 --> 01:02:09,075
No, he takes
the rest of the cake.
1376
01:02:10,008 --> 01:02:12,144
Okay. You know what? Let's make
this a little interesting, alright?
1377
01:02:12,176 --> 01:02:13,979
- Damn.
- I got $40 in my wallet.
1378
01:02:14,011 --> 01:02:16,981
- Cool, each get $20?
- No, winner takes all.
1379
01:02:17,015 --> 01:02:18,717
- Oh.
- But we got a couple of ground rules.
1380
01:02:18,749 --> 01:02:20,652
Number one,
I'm the sexy Metroid girl.
1381
01:02:20,685 --> 01:02:22,120
Number two, no falcon punches.
1382
01:02:22,153 --> 01:02:24,455
And number three,
you can't be Kirby!
1383
01:02:24,488 --> 01:02:27,792
Can I be the little pink ball
who sucks people up?
1384
01:02:27,825 --> 01:02:29,661
- Do you know what that...
- Game on, baby!
1385
01:02:30,828 --> 01:02:32,531
Why would he leave
a piece at all?
1386
01:02:32,564 --> 01:02:34,200
It just seems
like a lot of work.
1387
01:02:35,100 --> 01:02:36,903
You know,
I've never thought about that.
1388
01:02:37,635 --> 01:02:39,504
It's kind of generous
for Garfield, anyway.
1389
01:02:41,573 --> 01:02:43,609
[upbeat dance music]
1390
01:02:43,642 --> 01:02:45,344
[unintelligible chatter]
1391
01:02:49,513 --> 01:02:52,885
You know, you're a big softie,
giving Lisa her job back.
1392
01:02:52,917 --> 01:02:55,588
I think you have a fuzzy memory.
That was you.
1393
01:02:56,521 --> 01:02:59,425
Besides, I don't think I was
supposed to fire her anyway,
1394
01:02:59,457 --> 01:03:01,126
so you kind of saved my butt.
1395
01:03:02,660 --> 01:03:03,662
You know, I got to say,
1396
01:03:04,763 --> 01:03:05,865
we make a good team.
1397
01:03:07,231 --> 01:03:09,034
I'm kind of liking
getting to know you.
1398
01:03:09,801 --> 01:03:10,670
Really?
1399
01:03:11,535 --> 01:03:13,606
So, what color
are my eyes, then?
1400
01:03:15,539 --> 01:03:17,709
Well, at first they're brown,
1401
01:03:18,443 --> 01:03:20,211
and then,
if you look into the light,
1402
01:03:20,245 --> 01:03:21,380
they're like amber.
1403
01:03:22,180 --> 01:03:25,149
And if you look
really close by the iris,
1404
01:03:25,182 --> 01:03:26,284
it's like honey.
1405
01:03:27,118 --> 01:03:28,887
And then,
when the sun hits them,
1406
01:03:28,921 --> 01:03:29,789
it's green.
1407
01:03:30,522 --> 01:03:31,490
That's my favorite.
1408
01:03:32,723 --> 01:03:34,861
Nice try, but I've seen
Maid In Manhattan.
1409
01:03:38,129 --> 01:03:40,867
Well, smart guy,
what color are my eyes?
1410
01:03:41,732 --> 01:03:43,135
I guess they're brown too.
1411
01:03:44,102 --> 01:03:45,605
Alright. Enough. [sighs]
1412
01:03:49,207 --> 01:03:50,676
Two Natty Lights, please.
1413
01:03:52,544 --> 01:03:53,679
And I got that.
1414
01:03:54,578 --> 01:03:56,180
Make it a Tanqueray.
1415
01:03:56,214 --> 01:03:58,951
Whoo, I love a gin girl.
1416
01:03:58,984 --> 01:04:00,352
This girl?
1417
01:04:00,385 --> 01:04:03,222
No, you don't. This girl
is so high-maintenance,
1418
01:04:03,254 --> 01:04:04,423
so annoying.
1419
01:04:05,289 --> 01:04:06,992
High-maintenance
doesn't scare me, baby.
1420
01:04:08,359 --> 01:04:09,662
I'm a lesbian.
1421
01:04:09,694 --> 01:04:11,729
Girl on girl is my favorite.
1422
01:04:11,763 --> 01:04:14,232
I have, you know...
1423
01:04:14,265 --> 01:04:16,868
STDs. All of the STDs.
1424
01:04:16,901 --> 01:04:19,070
It's really nasty down there.
1425
01:04:19,104 --> 01:04:20,306
Diarrhea.
1426
01:04:20,339 --> 01:04:23,175
I have diarrhea right now.
1427
01:04:23,207 --> 01:04:25,877
Okay, buddy. I'm taken.
1428
01:04:25,910 --> 01:04:27,780
- [soft thuds]
- [glass clicks]
1429
01:04:27,812 --> 01:04:29,147
I'm taken.
1430
01:04:29,180 --> 01:04:30,715
Yeah. I... I'm taken!
1431
01:04:30,749 --> 01:04:32,651
["5-0" by Jack Harlow]
1432
01:04:32,684 --> 01:04:35,019
♪ Always had trouble
respecting limits ♪
1433
01:04:35,053 --> 01:04:37,089
[unintelligible chatter]
1434
01:04:43,694 --> 01:04:46,198
Whoa, don't let me stop you.
1435
01:04:46,231 --> 01:04:47,499
[ironic laugh]
1436
01:04:47,531 --> 01:04:49,767
I think she's had
a little bit too much to drink,
1437
01:04:49,801 --> 01:04:51,103
so we're going
to get going here.
1438
01:04:51,135 --> 01:04:53,004
[CJ]
Wait. No, I want to stay.
1439
01:04:53,037 --> 01:04:55,139
♪ 5-0, I don't fuck with 5-0 ♪
1440
01:04:55,173 --> 01:04:56,542
♪ Whipping
through your neighborhood ♪
1441
01:04:56,575 --> 01:04:59,011
♪ They telling me
to drive slow, I don't ♪
1442
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:03,816
["Frostbite" by Mark Geary]
1443
01:05:03,848 --> 01:05:07,653
Do you know the song
"Guitar Man"?
1444
01:05:07,685 --> 01:05:08,521
By Cake?
1445
01:05:09,254 --> 01:05:11,824
No, the original, by Bread.
1446
01:05:11,856 --> 01:05:14,492
Why would I've listen to Bread
when I can have Cake?
1447
01:05:14,526 --> 01:05:17,229
Okay, don't be
all Marie Antoinette about it.
1448
01:05:18,696 --> 01:05:20,598
Do you like my dancing?
1449
01:05:20,631 --> 01:05:21,967
You dance like a white guy.
1450
01:05:22,901 --> 01:05:26,437
Oh, so like Fred Astaire
and Gene Kelly?
1451
01:05:26,470 --> 01:05:28,440
♪ ...are ♪
1452
01:05:31,209 --> 01:05:33,779
♪ It's who you are
it's what you are ♪
1453
01:05:33,812 --> 01:05:37,016
The good thing about being over six
foot is I don't have to wear heels.
1454
01:05:40,051 --> 01:05:41,519
What are we going to do
to change back?
1455
01:05:44,423 --> 01:05:46,691
I know one thing
we haven't tried!
1456
01:05:47,892 --> 01:05:51,429
Fornicate under the consent
of the king.
1457
01:05:52,798 --> 01:05:54,066
I don't know...
1458
01:05:54,098 --> 01:05:56,968
Oh, come on! Just do it
with your eyes closed.
1459
01:05:58,069 --> 01:05:59,537
Already do that.
1460
01:05:59,571 --> 01:06:01,273
You want to have
sex with yourself?
1461
01:06:01,972 --> 01:06:03,841
No, I've been having sex
with myself
1462
01:06:03,874 --> 01:06:05,343
all throughout high school.
1463
01:06:09,948 --> 01:06:11,617
This is so narcissistic!
1464
01:06:12,350 --> 01:06:15,221
♪ It's what you are ♪
1465
01:06:16,220 --> 01:06:18,890
[CJ] It kind of just
happened organically.
1466
01:06:18,923 --> 01:06:21,226
I mean, this challenge
came to us and we,
1467
01:06:22,060 --> 01:06:27,299
uh, stumbled, but in the end,
we're better for it.
1468
01:06:27,332 --> 01:06:30,803
I think that might've happened
for that reason.
1469
01:06:30,836 --> 01:06:32,671
- [CJ] Yeah.
- [Casey] I think we needed to learn something.
1470
01:06:33,370 --> 01:06:35,740
I think Roy was wrong
about the life lesson.
1471
01:06:36,841 --> 01:06:39,510
I hadn't know
when one body ended
1472
01:06:39,544 --> 01:06:40,812
and the other began anyway.
1473
01:06:40,845 --> 01:06:43,481
[CJ]
I did. I definitely did.
1474
01:06:43,515 --> 01:06:45,017
[Casey]
I mean, with the lights off,
1475
01:06:45,050 --> 01:06:49,388
it sort of just all becomes
one person, one body.
1476
01:06:49,421 --> 01:06:52,191
♪ It's not
like I've been here before ♪
1477
01:06:52,223 --> 01:06:54,926
♪ Like me ♪
1478
01:06:55,861 --> 01:06:59,131
♪ Like you ♪
1479
01:06:59,164 --> 01:07:01,200
[birds chirping]
1480
01:07:09,140 --> 01:07:10,008
Good morning.
1481
01:07:10,908 --> 01:07:11,776
How are you?
1482
01:07:12,644 --> 01:07:13,511
Great.
1483
01:07:15,113 --> 01:07:15,981
How are you?
1484
01:07:16,981 --> 01:07:18,015
Great.
1485
01:07:18,048 --> 01:07:19,817
[CJ]
You know, I feel like we both...
1486
01:07:19,850 --> 01:07:22,220
learned so much
about ourselves, and each other,
1487
01:07:22,254 --> 01:07:25,790
and life
from this whole experience.
1488
01:07:25,823 --> 01:07:27,859
[gentle music]
1489
01:07:33,564 --> 01:07:36,467
"The grass is always greener
on the other side."
1490
01:07:36,501 --> 01:07:38,636
"Never judge a book
by its cover."
1491
01:07:38,669 --> 01:07:42,039
"Two shoe, brown shoe, left shoe,
right shoe." We learned that.
1492
01:07:42,073 --> 01:07:43,908
And that opposites attract.
1493
01:07:43,941 --> 01:07:46,544
- All those cliches, we, we learned them all.
- [snorts]
1494
01:07:47,278 --> 01:07:49,380
[CJ] We always take
walks, and feed the ducks,
1495
01:07:49,414 --> 01:07:51,049
and feed the horses.
1496
01:07:51,082 --> 01:07:54,019
- Now we have each other and we're happy.
- [Casey] Yeah.
1497
01:07:54,051 --> 01:07:55,453
We couldn't get enough
of each other.
1498
01:07:55,486 --> 01:07:58,691
So I guess we decided
on being together
1499
01:07:59,423 --> 01:08:00,391
from the experience.
1500
01:08:02,394 --> 01:08:05,564
She brought the best out of me.
She made me a better person.
1501
01:08:05,597 --> 01:08:09,535
I learned a little bit about
putting care into my appearance,
1502
01:08:09,568 --> 01:08:12,004
and looking better,
and eating right,
1503
01:08:12,037 --> 01:08:14,339
and realizing
this is my one body,
1504
01:08:14,372 --> 01:08:15,875
so I better take care of it.
1505
01:08:16,740 --> 01:08:20,611
[CJ] What being a man has
taught me about being a woman is
1506
01:08:20,645 --> 01:08:26,252
kind of just being more yourself
and, like, owning who you are
1507
01:08:27,452 --> 01:08:28,553
and loving yourself,
1508
01:08:28,587 --> 01:08:31,623
because I guess
at any given moment,
1509
01:08:31,655 --> 01:08:33,824
you could not be yourself...
1510
01:08:33,857 --> 01:08:35,226
- Yeah, you could...
- ...if you switch bodies.
1511
01:08:35,260 --> 01:08:37,095
...totally change
against your will.
1512
01:08:37,128 --> 01:08:39,031
[CJ]
So, it's made me more confident
1513
01:08:39,064 --> 01:08:44,770
in my own body and made me,
I guess, a more confident woman.
1514
01:08:44,802 --> 01:08:48,406
Well, that's good, I'm glad that
I could help do that for you.
1515
01:08:48,440 --> 01:08:50,876
I wouldn't take credit
for that, but...
1516
01:08:52,677 --> 01:08:54,346
You made me a better person.
1517
01:08:54,378 --> 01:08:55,479
Oh, I know.
1518
01:08:55,512 --> 01:08:56,781
- Oh, okay.
- I know.
1519
01:08:57,915 --> 01:08:59,217
I mean, you make me
a better person
1520
01:08:59,251 --> 01:09:01,086
whether you're me or not.
1521
01:09:01,119 --> 01:09:02,387
How about that?
1522
01:09:02,419 --> 01:09:03,288
That's sweet.
1523
01:09:05,656 --> 01:09:06,557
["It's OK" by The Pass]
1524
01:09:06,591 --> 01:09:08,660
♪ I know it's a lot ♪
1525
01:09:09,593 --> 01:09:11,730
♪ But it's okay here ♪
1526
01:09:12,529 --> 01:09:14,800
♪ As we focused on the clock ♪
1527
01:09:14,833 --> 01:09:16,401
♪ People fade away ♪
1528
01:09:16,434 --> 01:09:17,869
♪ 'Cause it's life ♪
1529
01:09:18,802 --> 01:09:21,640
♪ It's okay here ♪
1530
01:09:21,672 --> 01:09:23,675
♪ Bathroom closet
is always stuck ♪
1531
01:09:23,708 --> 01:09:27,112
♪ And the paint will
get stained, it's away ♪
1532
01:09:30,382 --> 01:09:32,117
♪ It's away ♪
1533
01:09:33,251 --> 01:09:36,488
♪ The paint will
get stained, it's away ♪
1534
01:09:39,658 --> 01:09:41,260
♪ It's away ♪
1535
01:09:42,459 --> 01:09:43,962
♪ And the paint
will get stained ♪
1536
01:09:53,837 --> 01:09:57,141
♪ But you cannot
go in there all day ♪
1537
01:09:59,343 --> 01:10:02,381
♪ Waiting for a new solution ♪
1538
01:10:03,714 --> 01:10:06,685
♪ Never dreamed it this way ♪
1539
01:10:08,386 --> 01:10:12,758
♪ This will be
your contribution... ♪
1540
01:10:20,364 --> 01:10:22,501
♪ But I know it's alive ♪
1541
01:10:23,234 --> 01:10:26,104
♪ But it's okay here ♪
1542
01:10:26,137 --> 01:10:28,173
♪ Your eyes are focused
on the clock ♪
1543
01:10:28,205 --> 01:10:30,141
♪ But the people fade away ♪
1544
01:10:30,175 --> 01:10:31,709
♪ 'Cause it's life ♪
1545
01:10:32,577 --> 01:10:35,347
♪ But it's okay here ♪
1546
01:10:35,379 --> 01:10:37,516
♪ The bathroom closet
it's always stuck ♪
1547
01:10:37,548 --> 01:10:39,417
♪ And the paint
will get stained ♪
1548
01:10:39,450 --> 01:10:40,953
♪ 'Cause it's life ♪
1549
01:10:41,820 --> 01:10:44,589
♪ But it's okay ♪
1550
01:10:44,622 --> 01:10:46,725
♪ Your eyes are focused
on the clock ♪
1551
01:10:46,757 --> 01:10:48,626
♪ But the people fade away ♪
1552
01:10:48,659 --> 01:10:50,061
♪ 'Cause it's life ♪
1553
01:10:51,029 --> 01:10:53,832
♪ But it's okay here ♪
1554
01:10:53,864 --> 01:10:55,934
♪ The bathroom closet
is always stuck ♪
1555
01:10:55,967 --> 01:10:59,338
♪ And the paint will
get stained, it's away ♪
1556
01:11:02,574 --> 01:11:04,443
♪ It's away ♪
1557
01:11:05,243 --> 01:11:08,647
♪ And the paint will
get stained, it's away ♪
1558
01:11:11,850 --> 01:11:13,584
♪ It's away ♪
1559
01:11:14,485 --> 01:11:16,220
♪ And the paint
will get stained ♪
1560
01:11:50,754 --> 01:11:53,559
You see? This is nice.
Isn't this nice?
1561
01:11:53,913 --> 01:11:55,359
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
114365
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