Original subtitles

Previously onB Positive...Dinner's at 6:00.

Gina says you guys eat late around here.

She accidentally set her room on fire.

Her daughter is useless, and she had nowhere to go.

So you brought home an arsonist

and put her in front of an open flame?

Okay, you got me.[laughs]

Of course, anything you do is pretty damn hard to resist.

GINA: It's just a date.

We're not picking out names for our kids or anything.

There are millions of guys out there.

You can date any one of them.

This guy's mine.

Oh, my God. What is his problem?

Well, isn't it obvious? He's jealous.

What? Ugh, no way.

Drew and I are just friends.

Oh, please. You're beautiful, you're smart, you're funny.

And you're saving his life.

The poor schlemiel never had a chance.

This is, like,

the nicest car of anybody I've ever dated.

There's no duct tape, the windows work.

There's no hole in the floorboard to dump your drugs

when the cops are chasing you.

Oh, trust me, the cops will find another reason

to pull me over.

Mm. You're such a gentleman to drive me home, sir.

Yep. My ma raised me to always send a thank-you note

and make sure my hookups get home safe.

[gasps] Aw.

You think of me as a hookup?

Well, I think of you as a big piece of meat, too.

[chuckles]Oh, wait.

Don't pull into the driveway.

I don't want to wake up Drew.

[sighs]

I feel bad sneaking behind his back.

Maybe we should just come clean.

Why?

We agreed to wait and see if it even goes anywhere.

Yeah, you're right.

This could be nothing.

Ugh. That is so disappointing.

Maybe we should try again.

DREW: Hello?

Is anyone down there?

Drew?

Can you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep.

Yeah.

So was I.

That's weird.

Oh. Maybe a poltergeist did it.

Some sort of ghost who really

doesn't like that lamp.

Sure did wake me up, though.

NORMA: Is it safe to come down?

I waited just long enough for Drew to kill or be killed.

It's nothing. It's just...

Gina sneaking home after a night out with Eli.

What? No, I wasn't.

Oh, really?

Why are you wearing your earrings to bed?

And don't think I can't see your date-night dress

poking out from under your robe.

And there's always this.

If the shoe fits, Gina.

If the shoe fits.

Fine, you caught me, okay?

Are you happy?

No, I'm not. You lied to me.

All right, stop it. Both of you.

Stop this fighting.

At least till I get some coffee in me.

Oh, will you make me a cup, too?

Have fun with Eli?

Oh, so much fun.

[Drew sighs]

You texted me last night saying that you and Eli

are not gonna see each other anymore.

Drew, I swear,

we tried to cool it, but cooling it

only made it hotter, and...

you don't want me to keep talking, do you?

No, I do not.

You know what'd be great?

Is if you could actually be all right with this.

Ugh, We talked about it.

Eli's my friend.

I don't want you messing that up.Drew,

us dating has nothing to do with you.

That's not true. Anything that happens between you two,

I am stuck in the middle.

Yeah, but you're stuck in the middle of two wonderful people.

You're like the mystery meat in our love sloppy joe.

Ugh. Ugh.

You know what?

It doesn't matter what I say.

You're just gonna do whatever you want to anyway.

Drew.

If Eli and I are really your friends,

wouldn't you want us both to be happy?

Great. Thanks.

She's not wrong.

You know, I hear they're serving powdered eggs

at Valley Hills this morning.

On the other hand, there are two sides to every story.

♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

♪ But if you're feeling like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative♪

♪ To be positive.

Friends, I have a favor to ask.

No.

You don't even know what it is.

I'm sorry. Go on.

As you all know, my one-man show...

No!

...starts on the 29th,

and I could really use your help getting the word out.

Could you share my Instagram post?

Done.I'll retweet it.

But don't be offended by the comments.

I'm at war with, like, 20 people on Twitter.

Sorry I'm late.

I had to drop off some packages at UPS for my mom.

No need to lie.

I know you were

bringing Gina home.

Sorry, man. I-I didn't know how you'd feel.

I'm happy you're happy.

This is so awkward.

I'd leave, but half my blood's in this machine.

Look, I know this is weird for you,

but I really like Gina.

She's funny, she makes me laugh,

she doesn't care what anybody thinks.

GIDEON: Wow, usually, you describe women

with adjectives, like "flexible" and "loud."

Oh, or my personal favorite, "the one with the ass for days."

So, you really like her?

Honestly?

Yes. She's awesome.

She wants to hear

what I have to say,

I want to hear what she has to say.

It's like we're having a, um...

A conversation?

DREW: Well, communication

is the key to a healthy relationship.

So I'm happy you're happy.

GIDEON: Aw.

And dialysis made his heart

grow three sizes that day.

Uh, do you remember that steak house

I was telling you about?

Mm-hmm. We should all go

this weekend. You can invite Gina.

Great. The other thing I love about Gina,

she know how to house a steak.[laughs]

She make it do what it do, baby.

[both laugh]

I-I can't go. I have to drop off packages at UPS for Eli's mom.

Fine, I'll be there.

As far as you and me? Nothing changes.

We can still hang out, I'll still come over

and train you. Don't worry.

We're still Team Falcon and Winter Soldier.

[chuckles] Not in front of everyone.

You're a good guy. I'm glad we're friends.

Me, too. Hey. Oh.

Next time on Sex and the City...

What are you doing?

I'm all out of butter at home.

Yeah, I need that for the rolls.

What happened to the rolls?

I'm supposed to eat butter by itself?

[glass clinking]

A toast, to Eli and Gina.

You know, I wasn't the most supportive friend at first,

but after seeing you guys together,

it is clear you are the real deal.

Um, it's been a week.

Well, Romeo and Juliet fell in love in a week.

And they killed themselves in that same week.

And that started a war between two rival families...

Okay, well, this toast is getting away from me.

The point is, I am glad you have found each other.

To the happy couple.To the happy couple.

Thank you.

Would you like to buy a flower?

Uh, would you care for a rose, milady?

[chuckles]

We're good.

I will actually take a rose here

for these two sweeties.

Oh, Drew, you really, really don't have to.

No, I insist.

In fact, I will take the whole basket.

Because you cannot put a price on love.

It's $150.

Okay, well, apparently, you can.

Uh, I will take two.

There you go. Two.

The most romantic number.

I'm sorry, which one is he trying to seduce?

ELI: Thanks.

How about we go

get another round of drinks?

Great idea. [chuckles]

Maybe at a different restaurant.

[laughs] Eli, she's funny.

Oh, my God.

I know he means well,

but next weekend, let's go someplace just the two of us.

Oh, what are your feelings on Vegas?

Vegas? As in...Mm-hmm.

"What happens in, stays in"?

Uh, I think it should be the capital of the United States.

Why?I got to go up there next weekend.

And it would be a lot more fun if you went with me.

Seriously? Mm-hmm.

Which hotel? The Bellagio.

Yeah, I'm allowed in that one,

just not in the fountain.

48 hours in Sin City.

You bring your sexy clothes,

I'll bring my all-you-can-eat buffet pants.

Uh, I am so in,

but why do you have to go to Vegas?

Oh, one of my cousins is getting married.

You know, we'll make a quick appearance,

eat some cake, and we'll duck out right before

Uncle Reggie starts doing the worm.

Um, not before I challenge Uncle Reggie

to a worm-off.

Oh. Yeah, yeah. Give me some of that.

Mmm. DREW: For the lovebirds.

GINA: Drew!

Oh, hell no!

Or as they say in Mexico,

el lovebirditos.

♪ Bésame

♪ Bésame mucho...

Norma, everyone misses you at Valley Hills.

Yeah? Cut to the chase. Who died?

Sadly, no one you wanted.

Damn.

That Miriam and her balcony apartment

keep hanging on.

Hey, Gabby, can you take my shift next Saturday?

Sure. You need to pick up the trash on the side

of the highway as part of your community service?

Oh, no, I finished that last month.

Well, a broke teenager in a blonde wig

finished it for me.

Um, Eli is taking me...

[gasps] ...to Vegas.

Oh, I love me some Vegas.

Give me a roll of quarters at the dollar machine,

I turn into a slots whore.

[laughter]

Where are you staying?

Oh, um, the Bellagio.

That's where his cousin's getting married.

A family wedding? That's a big deal.

Oh, no, it's casual.

This trip is about gambling and partying

and clubbing, and the wedding's

just a chance to celebrate good times,

come on.

Think about it. You'll be meeting his parents,

his brothers and sisters.Yeah, and they'll be judging you.

And not just you.

Vegasyou.

The you who hijacked a chariot from Caesars.

Eli must really like you if he wants you to come.

No, Eli is the biggest player there is.

He just wants to have fun.

If you say so.

All I know is you're not supposed to meet a guy's family

till you're pregnant.

[gasps] Are you pregnant?

Don't worry. Taking the pill

is, like, the one thing I'm really good at.

What's up, Gina?

Hey. What are you doing?

Eating lo mein.GINA: Oh.

I thought you were driving home.

Don't worry, I'm not using chopsticks.

That's the beauty of having this car

and having money: it drives itself. [chuckles]

[chuckles] Well, no judgment here.

One time on I-95, I gave myself highlights.

[chuckles] Good thing we're flying to Vegas.

GINA: Oh, yeah.

That's why I called.

Um, a family wedding

feels like kind of a big deal.

No, they're gonna love you.GINA: Yeah.

[chuckles]: But I meant us.

I mean, we just started dating.

I don't even know your middle name

or if you believe that Roombas

are the first step in a robot revolution.

Okay.

I hear you,

but I got a good feeling about us.

I've dated women

I would never introduce to my family.

But I'm excited for them to meet you.

So, we're doing this?

Hell yeah, we are.

Hell yeah. [chuckles]

Okay, I should...

I should go.ELI: Me, too.

I got to work on my toast for the wedding.

I got as far as, "To the bride and groom."

Then I saw a Chinese restaurant.

Ah, there he is. Good morning.

How'd you sleep? What's on the agenda for today?

You working out with Eli?

That why you've got those on? Would you like

a nice, hot biscuit?

Or I could whip up some pancakes.

I'm good. Uh, look, I don't mean to be rude.

I'm just not much of a morning person.

[chuckles] I hate to break it to you,

but the other parts of the day

are not exactly your forte, either.

I'm gonna miss you when you're gone, Norma.

Which is when, exactly?

Paul?Hey, Gina's dad.

[sniffs] Gina's mom.

Nice to meet you.

What are you doing here? Where's Gina?

Oh, she went to get us bagels.

She's so cool.

You guys raised that one right.

So, uh, when is Gina coming back?

Don't know. But I got to get to work,

'cause this sign...

isn't gonna spin itself.

Uh, do you think you should change first, dear?

Good looking out. Thanks, Mrs. G.

Who is that?

Did something happen between Gina and Eli?

I don't know. But we have got to get him out of here.

What's going on?

Eli is gonna be here any minute.

Hey, there he is. All right, let's get you out of here.

Hey, the door is that way.All right, let me just grab some coffee.

No time! Yeah, no time. Come on.

[knock on door]

You know what? On second thought,

let's get you that coffee. Yeah.

Norma, coffee?Uh, I thought you said...

Don't worry about it. Hey, we got light roast,

dark roast, ethically sourced, nonethically sourced.

Knock yourself out.

Hey, ready to get ripped?Oh, man.

You know it. Hey, why don't you go around back

to the garage, and I'll meet you there.

Can't I just go through the house?

No. No, the-the door's broken.

Only opens out to here, so...

Yeah. Come on, get out of here!

Okay, let's go.I need creamer.

Oh, don't worry about it, Paul. Come on, chop, chop, spin, spin.

Drew? Uh, and Paul. [chuckles softly]

Yes, and Eli is in the garage.

What?!Who's Eli?

Uh, he's just a guy.[door closes]

NORMA: Oh, hello, Eli.

Who is in the kitchen.

Okay, right this way, Paul.

There you go. There you go.

Goodbye. [chuckles]

Hey, you.It's fixed!

[chuckles]

Look at that.

Hey.

Oh, you get us bagels? You're so good to me.Mm.

Sometimes. [chuckles][chuckles]

Almost forgot my breakfast.

Thanks, babe.

Oh, my God! Who the hell was that?!

I'm so sorry.

Hope you don't mind if we skip our workout this morning.

Yeah.

Eli, I can explain.

ELI: You don't have to.

Hey.

I'm not looking to be forgiven or anything,

but Paul and I didn't sleep together. I mean,

that was the plan when I called him,

and we did make out a little bit, but I stopped it

before it went any further.

And then he drank too much tequila

and had to spend the night.

By the way, you're out of tequila.

All right, I'm going to work.

Why was Paul even here?

Because Eli invited me to a family wedding in Vegas.

Like, we just started dating,

and he already wants me to meet his family?

It's... He's moving too fast.

It-It's too much. He's just too...

Into you?Exactly.

Like, what is the matter with him?Oh, yeah.

A guy likes you and wants to spend time with you.

What a psycho.

You know me, Drew.

I'm a mess.

Eli's gonna find out eventually,

so I better just blow it up now.Oh, God.

Stop. I'm so sick of that routine.

You're a great person.No, I am not.

You're not running away from this.

Look, Gina,

any guy would be lucky to have you.

Okay?

You can make anyone laugh. You have the biggest heart.

You treat every day like an adventure.

You're like Dora the Explorer

if she mainly went to Ibiza and Tijuana.

[chuckles]

You make everyone around you better.

Even a pain in the ass like me.

Drew.

If you really like Eli, take a chance.

You deserve to be happy

more than anyone I know.

[Gina sighs]

Thank you.

You know,

you're a really good therapist.

Well, if you really feel that way,

five stars on Yelp would be much appreciated.

God, you're clueless.

Excuse me?

I heard the way you were talking about her.

You have feelings for her.

[scoffs] What? No, I don't.

I want her to work it out with Eli.

Uh-huh.

Putz.

What?

Can I come in for a second?

Fine.

I know you don't want to talk to me right now,

but I just have to say this one thing.

I screwed up.

The whole "Vegas, meeting your family" thing

made me realize that you might actually like me,

and you are so nice.

Like, you genuinely seem to care about how my day went,

and that scares me, because if this is real,

then I have something to lose, so, of course,

I freaked out, and I called Paul.

Though we didn't have sex, just so you know.

Which-which doesn't make it better, but...

I'm really, really sorry that I called him because...

[sighs]

...I do want to see

where this goes.

So,

please, please, give me another chance,

because...

I...

I really like you,

and...

I want to go to Vegas with you.

Hey, I don't blame you.

If you invited me to a family wedding,

I would have freaked out, too.

I guess I just got swept away

with how well everything was going.

But the truth is

I'm nervous, too.

Really?Yeah.

Most women I date, I can say or do anything I want

'cause they're with me for the money,

the red carpets and the skyboxes.

But you don't care about that stuff.

No, I don't.

Unless there's a skybox available

the next time that Cardi B plays the Garden.

With you,

I have to be real.

And that scares the hell out of me.

I appreciate you saying that.

I like making a six-foot-five man scared.

[chuckles]So,

do you still want to go to Vegas together?

Well, I already did put you down for chicken at the wedding.

Chicken? Oh, no.

This is never gonna work.

[chuckles]

So, I'm curious.

What's the story with you being banned

from the Bellagio fountain?

Well, legally, I can't tell you, but...

I haven't been banned from the Venetian canals,

so... let's make our own story.

I'd like that.

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