All language subtitles for The Barbarian and the Troll 1x01 - Brendar the Barbarian (English)

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,981 --> 00:00:03,981 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:09,482 --> 00:00:10,792 Aha! 3 00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,102 Aha. 4 00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:14,344 - You better start talking. - You missed me! 5 00:00:14,413 --> 00:00:16,000 I'm gonna dodge every blow. 6 00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:19,171 Tell me. 7 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,343 - Huh? - Tell me where that demon is, 8 00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:30,793 or I'll slice you in half. 9 00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:32,931 Demons? I don't know any demons. 10 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,378 I know you helped him. 11 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:37,172 Your foul slime was all over the doorknob to his cave. 12 00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:38,793 I ain't no snitch. 13 00:00:38,862 --> 00:00:41,448 Eh, who puts a door on a cave, anyway? 14 00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,551 Tell me where that demon is, 15 00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:46,344 or I'll get to see what you had for breakfast. 16 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:48,448 I had a sunrise scramble on toast points. 17 00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:51,240 Brendar. 18 00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,758 Unhand that serpent at once. 19 00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:55,413 Really? Now? 20 00:00:55,482 --> 00:00:57,000 I was just at my big finish. 21 00:00:57,068 --> 00:01:01,413 I didn't appear in a magical vision to argue with you. 22 00:01:01,482 --> 00:01:03,172 But Queen Shimmerian, 23 00:01:03,241 --> 00:01:04,793 I spent, like, three days 24 00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:06,689 tracking this serpent to his lair. 25 00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:09,034 That was three days 26 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:12,655 you should have spent maintaining the Royal Order. 27 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,172 Ugh. 28 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,379 You keep going on these pointless quests. 29 00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:19,033 - They aren't pointless. - Yeah, except they are. 30 00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:21,482 Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ah! 31 00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:26,448 What's the princess-warrior's most important job in her life? 32 00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:29,793 To smile while cutting ribbons at solstice festivals. 33 00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:32,620 - Exactly. - Oh, wow, that's essential. 34 00:01:32,689 --> 00:01:34,551 If all we're meant to be is ribbon cutters, 35 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:36,655 why do you train us to be warriors? 36 00:01:36,724 --> 00:01:39,482 To make you strong so you can be self-sufficient 37 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,896 yet completely dependent at the same time. 38 00:01:41,965 --> 00:01:44,482 But Queen, the demon Alvin killed my mother 39 00:01:44,551 --> 00:01:46,344 and took my brother Kendar. 40 00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:48,241 He's the only family I have left. 41 00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,517 Wow. That's a lot of exposition. 42 00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,034 We should be your family. 43 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:54,586 And I've had enough of your shenanigans. 44 00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:57,344 How did you find out about my shenanigans? 45 00:01:57,413 --> 00:02:00,689 I see all! 46 00:02:00,758 --> 00:02:02,448 And someone ratted you out. 47 00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:04,068 - It was I. 48 00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:06,103 Hey, gossip girls. 49 00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:08,551 Wanna know what it really feels like to be stabbed 50 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,103 - in the back? - Ow! Ow-ow! 51 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,481 Oh, you're fine. 52 00:02:11,482 --> 00:02:14,310 You've had so many "secret quests" 53 00:02:14,379 --> 00:02:17,241 that the people of Gothmoria have given you a slogan. 54 00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:20,448 Ooh, what it is? Over five billion severed? 55 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:24,931 You are known to be feared and revered throughout the land. 56 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,136 Oh, it rhymes. 57 00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:27,481 You're a loose cannon, Brendar. 58 00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:29,620 Therefore, I'm taking your sword... 59 00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:30,826 sparkly tunic... 60 00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:33,481 and your sensible soled footwear. 61 00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:36,724 - No! - Yes. I'm demoting you back down to... 62 00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,241 - Moat duty? - Worse. 63 00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,688 Barbarian. 64 00:02:40,689 --> 00:02:42,931 But then how will I be able to rescue my brother? 65 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,655 May Brendar be an example to every warrior-princess: 66 00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:51,068 disobey your queen, you'll be shunned 67 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:55,000 and cut from the family. Like a ribbon. 68 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:04,965 Hey. She forgot to take my sword. 69 00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:08,000 - Yoink. 70 00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:10,757 She kicked me out of the Order. 71 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,379 She took my boots and my sword. 72 00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:15,137 I loved that sword. 73 00:03:17,379 --> 00:03:19,000 So how do you think you're gonna 74 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,585 - slice me in half now, barbarian? - I'll show you. 75 00:03:22,586 --> 00:03:26,517 Wha? What's happening? 76 00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:28,206 That's not good. 77 00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:31,620 Uh, okay, hold on, wait, wait, wait... 78 00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:34,724 Ow! Oof! Uh! Yow! 79 00:03:34,793 --> 00:03:36,482 - I'll ask you again. - Ow! 80 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:39,758 - Where is the demon Alvin? - All right, fine. 81 00:03:39,827 --> 00:03:43,448 Last I saw, he was headed to the jungles of Ganthor. 82 00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:45,586 But you'll never defeat him, he's too strong. 83 00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:48,654 - I'm pretty strong too. - Huh? 84 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,055 No, no, no, no, no, no! 85 00:03:50,068 --> 00:03:51,896 Yee-ouch! 86 00:04:00,689 --> 00:04:05,275 - Eh, I'm okay. - Brendar the Barbarian, huh? 87 00:04:05,344 --> 00:04:08,517 That has a nice ring to it. 88 00:04:08,586 --> 00:04:10,758 ? Whoa-oh-oh-oh ? 89 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:13,555 ? The Barbarian and the Troll ? 90 00:04:13,656 --> 00:04:15,519 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 91 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,172 "On another personal quest 92 00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:20,172 to amend her complicated and mysterious backstory, 93 00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:23,172 Brendar the Barbarian defeated a large serpent 94 00:04:23,241 --> 00:04:24,758 with her bare hands?" 95 00:04:24,827 --> 00:04:26,171 Hey, can you check the sports page? 96 00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:28,793 I wanna see who won in the Giants versus the Bears. 97 00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:31,723 - The Giants crushed the Bears. - Aw, come on! 98 00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:34,137 That's a sack of coin I'll never see again. 99 00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:37,931 Don't you cross my bridge without paying a toll! 100 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,655 Surrender your silver or surrender your life! 101 00:04:41,724 --> 00:04:45,000 Show yourself, mighty tollbooth operator. 102 00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:50,241 Um, technically, I'm a troll-booth operator. 103 00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:53,620 Uh, either way, I've gotta collect a silver piece. 104 00:04:53,689 --> 00:04:56,724 Aw, come on, mister. My ol' goat has a bum hip, 105 00:04:56,793 --> 00:04:58,965 so we can't wade through the stream like we used to. 106 00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:00,482 Body-shaming your goat's not gonna help. 107 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:03,724 I gotta collect a toll. Troll king's rules, not mine. 108 00:05:03,793 --> 00:05:05,827 Let me at him! Let me at him! 109 00:05:05,896 --> 00:05:07,724 Get ready to butt heads, butthead! 110 00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:10,296 - Uh-oh. - You made Helen mad, 111 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,241 and you don't wanna deal with a cranky goat. 112 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,103 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 113 00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:15,481 No need for violence. 114 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,882 - All right, I'll make you a deal. - Hey, it's okay. 115 00:05:16,931 --> 00:05:19,826 Um. Ooh. I'll play you a song, 116 00:05:19,827 --> 00:05:23,275 and then if you leave a donation, I'll consider the toll paid. 117 00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,585 - Well. - Eh. 118 00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:25,986 - Guess so. - Ooh. 119 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,448 Here goes. 120 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:32,344 ? Bridge life, bridge life ? 121 00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:34,275 ? No one will pay me ? 122 00:05:34,344 --> 00:05:37,896 ? No one will save me from damp pants ? 123 00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:40,517 ? Or flesh-eating ants ? 124 00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:42,103 ? No one's afraid of me ? 125 00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:44,448 ? My father's ashamed of me ? 126 00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:48,310 ? Bridge life, bridge life ? 127 00:05:48,379 --> 00:05:50,313 ? Bridge life ? 128 00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:53,034 ? Bridge life ? 129 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,068 ? Ee-ba-be-ba-dee-ba-dee bridge ? 130 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,896 ? Wa-dee-der-dee-dee-ber-dee life ? 131 00:05:56,965 --> 00:06:00,448 ? Once upon a time in a land far away ? 132 00:06:00,517 --> 00:06:01,895 ? I don't know what happened ? 133 00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:03,862 ? 'Cause I'm under a bridge all day ? 134 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:07,448 ? Bridge life, bridge life ? 135 00:06:07,517 --> 00:06:09,172 ? Bridge life ? 136 00:06:09,241 --> 00:06:10,931 ? Smidge life ? 137 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,545 Yeah! 138 00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:16,931 That was just awful. 139 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,586 Yeah, I feel like you owe me money now. 140 00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,724 That was my best song. 141 00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:24,724 - Well, now we know the problem. - Your songs are super boring. 142 00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,724 Yeah, you need to get out there. 143 00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:30,758 - Get you some life experience. - All right. 144 00:06:30,827 --> 00:06:33,517 That review was both hurtful and constructive, 145 00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:34,654 but you know what? 146 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,689 Reviews don't count as payment. 147 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,343 Ah. 148 00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:47,000 By the power vested in me by the Troll King, 149 00:06:47,068 --> 00:06:51,688 - your bridge access is denied. - Ah! 150 00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:53,172 You know what to do, Helen. 151 00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:55,758 Head down, aim for the doughy midsection. 152 00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:10,310 You should get out and see the world. 153 00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,206 Might help your songs. 154 00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:15,517 Hit up my goat yoga class and tighten that core. 155 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:18,344 Honestly, it was like headbutting a bag of pudding. 156 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,516 ? This bridge ? 157 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,965 ? Has left a stain upon my soul ? 158 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:35,862 ? How could you ever understand ? 159 00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:39,655 ? The pain of a troll? ? 160 00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:42,724 Oh, yeah, now I hear it. 161 00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,413 That little girl and her goat were right. 162 00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:46,931 My lyrics are so limited. 163 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,793 I gotta get out from under this bridge. 164 00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:50,620 I gotta put myself out there. 165 00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:52,103 I heard you got your butt kicked! 166 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,205 Wha? 167 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,724 Ah! Your Majesty. 168 00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:01,379 A troll doesn't let anyone cross without collecting a toll. 169 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,241 No matter what. It's our thing. 170 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,931 But Dad, it was two against one! 171 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,862 - A preteen and a goat named Helen? - Wha? 172 00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:13,240 Whoa, that was fast. 173 00:08:13,241 --> 00:08:15,482 This bridge belonged to your grandfather. 174 00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:17,068 He used to terrify villagers 175 00:08:17,137 --> 00:08:18,758 - throughout Gothmoria. - Here we go. 176 00:08:18,827 --> 00:08:21,034 Mounted knights would poop their armor 177 00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:22,655 just to try to avoid crossing here. 178 00:08:22,724 --> 00:08:24,124 Yeah, how would that help? 179 00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:27,413 And now you've turned it into a lute lounge! 180 00:08:27,482 --> 00:08:29,724 Yeah. Sorry, Dad. 181 00:08:36,172 --> 00:08:39,241 I guess I was too overprotective as a father. 182 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,931 Maybe I should've let your mother eat you 183 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,413 when you were a baby. 184 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,137 Well, she still tries to eat me all the time. 185 00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,068 That's a troll mother's prerogative, son. 186 00:08:46,137 --> 00:08:47,537 Yeah, but she keeps giving me 187 00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:49,758 flagons of barbecue sauce marked "body splash" 188 00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:52,689 - for my birthdays. - Yeah. 189 00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:55,379 So Dad, can I ask you a question? 190 00:08:55,448 --> 00:08:56,757 Here we go. 191 00:08:56,758 --> 00:08:58,965 What if my future were more about music 192 00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:02,517 and less... mm... bridge-oriented? 193 00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:04,965 Less bridge-oriented?! 194 00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:08,586 You're a troll prince! This bridge is your blood! 195 00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:10,655 It's your blood, not mine! 196 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,344 I need to put myself out there, 197 00:09:12,413 --> 00:09:14,103 maybe go on a journey or something. 198 00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,310 Unbelievable. 199 00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,862 You really think you're gonna get somewhere in life 200 00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:21,034 plucking that little lute of yours? 201 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,448 Jesters pluck, Dad. 202 00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:25,413 - I strum! - Ha! 203 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,882 And if you ever listened, 204 00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,896 you'd probably give me a very positive review, 205 00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:30,827 but you never listen! 206 00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:33,620 I'm a king! I don't listen to no one! 207 00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:35,089 Look, you were born 208 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,448 a Royal Keeper of the Bridges of Gothmoria. 209 00:09:37,517 --> 00:09:42,413 Oh, for the last time, I am a music guy! 210 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,724 I am not a bridge guy. 211 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,137 But if you can't see that, 212 00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:49,448 well, then maybe I should go. 213 00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:50,895 Don't do this, Evan. 214 00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:53,896 Don't throw it all away for dreams and feelings! 215 00:09:53,965 --> 00:09:56,655 If you leave this bridge now, young man, 216 00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:59,861 don't expect to come back. Ever. 217 00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:02,827 Yes, Your Majesty! 218 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:10,620 You literally just burned a bridge. 219 00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:18,137 What's this place made of, anyway? Matchsticks? 220 00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:32,586 - Still good on that flagon? - Oh, yes, sir. 221 00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,068 All right, I'll bring your check in a jiff. 222 00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:35,537 Sure. 223 00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:41,034 - What can I get you? - Gee, I don't know. 224 00:10:41,103 --> 00:10:43,827 I just got kicked out of the Royal Order, 225 00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:45,862 lost my favorite sword, 226 00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:49,482 had to fight a band of goblins for a new one, 227 00:10:49,551 --> 00:10:51,758 haven't slept in four nights, 228 00:10:51,827 --> 00:10:54,000 and I don't like a lot of sauces! 229 00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:56,034 What do you recommend? 230 00:10:56,103 --> 00:11:00,931 - Well, the chicken's not that spoiled. - I'll have that. 231 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,965 One Attila the Hen, dry! 232 00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,862 Order up! One chinchilla muffin, fried! 233 00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:11,033 - Ugh. - Hey, Kyle. 234 00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:12,517 You didn't return any of my carrier pigeons. 235 00:11:12,586 --> 00:11:13,826 I've been busy. 236 00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:15,275 - Cooking the carrier pigeons. - What? 237 00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:18,344 - They were yesterday's specials. - Oh. Uh, okay. 238 00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:19,654 Well, have you given any more thought 239 00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:22,675 - to me performing here? - Oh, look, kid. 240 00:11:22,689 --> 00:11:24,067 This just isn't the place 241 00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:25,827 for you to be playing your peppy little songs, okay? 242 00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:28,481 - So move along. - Well, hold on. 243 00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:29,792 Not all my songs are peppy! 244 00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:32,000 I got a bunch that are really depressing. 245 00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:34,137 Look. 246 00:11:34,206 --> 00:11:38,034 Do not do this, okay? This crowd will eat you alive. 247 00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:39,447 Literally. 248 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,896 So why don't you go back to your bridge, okay, buddy? 249 00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:43,379 I'm between bridges right now. 250 00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:45,448 I... I'm trying to put myself out there 251 00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:47,068 and find my destiny. 252 00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:49,413 Please, Kyle, you're the only guy I know 253 00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:50,882 who can help me. 254 00:11:52,965 --> 00:11:55,724 You're just not gonna back down, are you? 255 00:11:55,793 --> 00:11:57,896 Sign me up. 256 00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:03,999 All right, okay. All right, quiet down. 257 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,034 Quiet... shut up! 258 00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:09,344 Welcome to our first... and likely last... 259 00:12:09,413 --> 00:12:12,827 open horn night of music and singing 260 00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:15,068 right here at the Queen's Goiter. 261 00:12:15,137 --> 00:12:17,827 So go easy on this guy. He's a good kid. 262 00:12:17,896 --> 00:12:20,379 Yeah, good with a side of fried onions! 263 00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:25,448 I don't know, he probably tastes terrible. 264 00:12:25,517 --> 00:12:27,344 But apparently he's good with a lute. 265 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,827 All right, give it up for Evan, the musical troll of Gothmoria. 266 00:12:32,724 --> 00:12:35,586 Hey, thanks for coming out to support the arts, you guys. 267 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,137 I am Evan. 268 00:12:37,206 --> 00:12:40,206 Um, about me, uh, I have been kicked around by life. 269 00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:42,724 Most recently by a little girl and her nanny goat 270 00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:45,310 who didn't want to pay a toll to cross my bridge. 271 00:12:45,379 --> 00:12:46,723 Boring! 272 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,344 In fact, no one really pays the toll lately. 273 00:12:49,413 --> 00:12:51,827 People just ignore me and walk across. 274 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,413 I almost gave up. 275 00:12:55,172 --> 00:12:57,103 Oh, like that guy. 276 00:12:57,172 --> 00:12:58,931 But I didn't give up. 277 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,482 Instead, I wrote a song 278 00:13:00,551 --> 00:13:02,896 about fresh starts and new beginnings. 279 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,965 Goes a little something like this. 280 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,241 ? That feeling when you can't sleep ? 281 00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:11,931 ? 'Cause your bridge keeps crumbling ? 282 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,172 ? Chunks onto your head ? 283 00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:15,931 ? That feeling when you wanna weep ? 284 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,378 ? When you think of collecting ? 285 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,862 ? That same old toll again ? 286 00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:23,034 ? I got 99 problems, but a bridge ain't one ? 287 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,503 ? I burned mine down ? 288 00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:27,965 ? Someday, I'll see the sun ? 289 00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:30,068 ? That feeling when your journey ? 290 00:13:30,137 --> 00:13:32,724 ? Is just begun ? 291 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,896 ? I heard a journey starts when you go somewhere ? 292 00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:38,793 ? I need a journey ? 293 00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:40,275 ? A journey ? 294 00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:42,620 ? I feel it in my warts, and I'm so prepared ? 295 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,089 ? I need a journey ? 296 00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:45,481 ? A journey ? 297 00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:47,034 ? All you goblins and you thieves ? 298 00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:48,655 ? Are you feeling me now? ? 299 00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:51,205 No, don't literally feel me. ? Wait, please allow me ? 300 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,758 ? To rephrase somehow ? 301 00:13:52,827 --> 00:13:55,323 Oh, that was really awkward. ? Gonna keep on rocking it out ? 302 00:13:55,358 --> 00:13:57,034 ? I need a journey ? 303 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,551 ? A journey ? 304 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,206 ? A journey! ? 305 00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:02,241 ? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! ? 306 00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:04,344 Mm! Mm! Big finish! 307 00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:07,448 Yeah! Whoo! 308 00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:09,482 Who wrote this song? 309 00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,000 Do you guys want to hear that again? 310 00:14:34,896 --> 00:14:37,413 I have a message for you. 311 00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:45,000 - Sup? - I ordered the chicken. 312 00:14:47,706 --> 00:14:50,378 You're the warrior woman everyone calls Brendar, right? 313 00:14:50,379 --> 00:14:52,103 Feared and revered is your slogan? 314 00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:54,482 Get lost, owl. You smell like dead mice. 315 00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:56,931 They said you'd be intense. 316 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,793 We wanna hire you for a quest. 317 00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:01,310 I quest alone. Now flap off. 318 00:15:01,379 --> 00:15:03,931 Take Skeletor's smiley band and Yorick with you. 319 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,758 Oi. How'd she know my name? 320 00:15:05,827 --> 00:15:08,343 Not now, Yorry. Listen, this adventure 321 00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:10,103 includes everything you're good at. 322 00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:12,172 Smashing, pillaging. 323 00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:14,482 - General mayhem. - I know who sent you. 324 00:15:14,551 --> 00:15:16,800 - Who? - Are you asking me, 325 00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,000 or are you making an owl sound? 326 00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:20,895 This is an owl sound. Who. Who. 327 00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:22,655 Your team has all the trademarks 328 00:15:22,724 --> 00:15:25,241 of that hacky has-been, the wizard Horus Scrum. 329 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,205 - Uh. - Wha? 330 00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:32,241 If I were to quest, 331 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,672 it wouldn't be with a wizard known for card tricks 332 00:15:34,673 --> 00:15:37,067 - and fortune-telling. - Oh, come on. 333 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,586 We could offer you a generous salary, 334 00:15:38,655 --> 00:15:41,275 plus a pretty darn good dental plan. 335 00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,241 Are they on the same dental plan? 336 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,965 - Yes. - Hard pass. 337 00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:48,274 Ah! 338 00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:51,103 We have traversed the Black Forest of Hate 339 00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:55,275 and the Gray Swamps of Insecurity to find you. 340 00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:59,068 We will not be dismissed so easily. 341 00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:08,034 When respect is lacking, 342 00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:11,379 my sword starts hacking. 343 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:16,917 Ah. 344 00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:21,034 Hot cauldron. 345 00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:24,296 Hey. Look out, guys. She's got a knife. 346 00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,482 If you want to keep your head bone 347 00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,793 connected to your neck bone, 348 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,931 I suggest you apologize to this jester 349 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,551 for interrupting his foolish music. 350 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,793 I have battled the Quivering Serpent of Pune! 351 00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:39,551 Your threats mean nothing! 352 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:42,685 Was that the Baby serpent or the big one? 353 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,482 Uh, well, it was quivering a lot. 354 00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,344 I don't know. It was very large! 355 00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:50,516 - And wearing a diaper? - Yes? 356 00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:52,482 - That was the baby. - Ah! 357 00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:54,689 Who I left alive to send a message. 358 00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:57,620 - Enough! - Droppings just got real. 359 00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:58,861 Get her! 360 00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,896 Go! Go! 361 00:17:20,551 --> 00:17:21,688 Huh? 362 00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:24,000 Ha! 363 00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,468 Ah! 364 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,586 Ah... 365 00:17:32,206 --> 00:17:33,862 Huh? 366 00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,102 Ah! 367 00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:37,482 Huh? 368 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,344 Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. 369 00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:45,034 Why are you hitting yourself? 370 00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:46,517 Why are you still hitting yourself? 371 00:17:46,586 --> 00:17:47,688 Ah! 372 00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,793 Huh? Hmm. 373 00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:02,862 Ah... 374 00:18:04,413 --> 00:18:07,068 Uh. Uh... 375 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,482 I'm going to crush your head. 376 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,862 - Hey, numbskull. - Huh? 377 00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:20,689 It's time for you to head out. 378 00:18:20,758 --> 00:18:22,724 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait! 379 00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,965 Nooo! 380 00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:30,448 - Ah. - Uh. Uh. Bleh. 381 00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:35,413 - Wow. You are amazing. - Yeah, I get that a lot. 382 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,413 You know, I helped by smashing that guy 383 00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:40,240 - over his head with my lute. - I didn't need your help. 384 00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:43,000 In fact, you sort of interrupted my flow. 385 00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:45,550 - Your flow? - My battle rhythm was thrown 386 00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:47,068 - by your sloppy technique. - Huh. 387 00:18:47,137 --> 00:18:49,034 Fighting's not for you. Stick with your songs. 388 00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,481 Oh, yeah, I plan to! 389 00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:52,689 - In fact, I have... - Hold that thought. 390 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,586 I will quest to the castle of Horus Scrum. 391 00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:57,965 That is literally what I came here to accomplish. 392 00:18:58,034 --> 00:18:59,241 The wizard will regret 393 00:18:59,242 --> 00:19:01,895 sending such weaklings to retrieve me. 394 00:19:01,896 --> 00:19:04,068 When I defeat him, the only fortune telling 395 00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:05,758 he will do is to foresee me 396 00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:10,241 tearing up his beard and using it as my bath mat! 397 00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:14,862 We really respond to violence! 398 00:19:14,931 --> 00:19:16,620 Well, I'm glad we established that 399 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,931 before anything drastic went down. 400 00:19:21,517 --> 00:19:23,310 Oh! Hey, wait, stop! 401 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,206 Look. I think you're my destiny. 402 00:19:26,275 --> 00:19:30,172 Ugh. Even for a troll, that's a terrible pickup line. 403 00:19:30,241 --> 00:19:32,172 What? No. 404 00:19:32,241 --> 00:19:33,793 That's not what I was trying to do. 405 00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:36,551 I need to learn all the things you seem really good at. 406 00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:40,103 - Like living a life of danger. - You are living dangerously. 407 00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:43,654 - Stop following me. - No! My music is terrible, 408 00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:47,000 and the only way to make it better is to quest with you. 409 00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:50,572 You think you know me? You will never know me 410 00:19:50,586 --> 00:19:52,862 or my absurdly complex backstory. 411 00:19:52,931 --> 00:19:55,068 Go back to your songs and your bridges 412 00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:58,827 or whatever life of comfort you led before you met me. 413 00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:03,136 - Troll. - Um. 414 00:20:03,137 --> 00:20:06,931 I can't. I literally burned my bridge to the ground. 415 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,724 It... it's too late. 416 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,482 You burned your bridge to the ground? 417 00:20:10,551 --> 00:20:12,620 - Mm-hmm. - That is funny. 418 00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:16,551 Well, hey, look. If you let me quest with you, 419 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,103 I will write songs about your exploits. 420 00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:20,896 Infectious, hummable songs 421 00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:23,241 that will pass from village to village. 422 00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:25,793 In fact, every tavern in Gothmoria 423 00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:28,931 will sing the ballad of Brendar the Barbarian! 424 00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:32,551 Can you work the term "feared and revered" 425 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,310 into the songs of which you speak? 426 00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:35,862 Yeah, put your catchphrase in? 427 00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:37,965 - Done. - It's really more of a slogan. 428 00:20:38,034 --> 00:20:39,793 Uh, still. Not a problem. 429 00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,965 - Then join me, frail troll. - Ah! 430 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,793 Risk your life along mine 431 00:20:43,862 --> 00:20:46,137 as we quest towards an uncertain future 432 00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:47,412 - filled with danger... - Ha-ha! 433 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,447 - Risk... - Yeah! 434 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,848 - Probable death. - Ew. 435 00:20:49,896 --> 00:20:52,379 And perhaps a few scattered victories. 436 00:20:52,448 --> 00:20:54,827 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - But only if you agree 437 00:20:54,828 --> 00:20:57,551 to not blather on about how exciting everything is. 438 00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,551 Mm, okay, sure. 439 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,517 Oh, boy. My first quest. 440 00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,403 This is so ex... 441 00:21:04,793 --> 00:21:07,034 ... tremely... 442 00:21:07,103 --> 00:21:10,137 regular and, uh, not special for me at all. 443 00:21:10,206 --> 00:21:12,654 - This is already a mistake. - Wha? 444 00:21:16,172 --> 00:21:17,724 ? I heard a journey starts ? 445 00:21:17,793 --> 00:21:19,689 ? When you go somewhere ? 446 00:21:19,758 --> 00:21:22,517 ? I need a journey ? 447 00:21:22,586 --> 00:21:26,068 ? And maybe this journey needs me ? 448 00:21:26,137 --> 00:21:28,448 ? And maybe this intimidating barbarian ? 449 00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:30,103 ? With the impossibly complex backstory ? 450 00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:32,034 ? Needs me ? 451 00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:34,586 ? And maybe I'll find the song ? 452 00:21:34,655 --> 00:21:37,241 ? That I'm meant to sing! ? 453 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:44,310 Brendar? Where... hey, wait up. 454 00:21:44,379 --> 00:21:45,779 Where'd she go? 455 00:21:47,896 --> 00:21:52,103 You have not seen the last of me, barbarian. 456 00:21:52,172 --> 00:21:56,103 I'll get you. And your peppy goblin too! 457 00:21:59,344 --> 00:22:02,034 Well, this is unfortunate. 458 00:22:06,896 --> 00:22:09,034 Shoo! Shoo! 459 00:22:11,075 --> 00:22:15,625 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 33110

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.