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It's important
you understand:
2
00:01:02,088 --> 00:01:04,795
it's not you, it's me.
3
00:01:05,671 --> 00:01:09,128
What we have is so special.
4
00:01:10,754 --> 00:01:13,878
I love you more than I can say.
5
00:01:14,462 --> 00:01:15,836
But I'm sorry.
6
00:01:15,837 --> 00:01:19,669
Truly.
Because- I fucked up.
7
00:01:21,129 --> 00:01:23,544
Look...
I owe you an explanation.
8
00:01:23,545 --> 00:01:27,085
But honestly, I don't
know where to begin.
9
00:01:32,628 --> 00:01:34,835
Maybe there...
10
00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:36,169
at the beginning.
11
00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:40,835
You see, I grew up
above a great party.
12
00:01:54,169 --> 00:01:57,792
Oh, Gordon!
13
00:01:57,793 --> 00:01:58,792
Mummy?
14
00:01:58,793 --> 00:02:00,500
She's--
she's in the kitchen.
15
00:02:00,501 --> 00:02:01,792
Just what are you doing?
16
00:02:01,793 --> 00:02:02,959
I'm waiting for
your mother to bring
17
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,001
out the hors d'oeuvres.
Now bugger off.
18
00:02:07,376 --> 00:02:09,584
After school,
I used to love to listen
19
00:02:09,585 --> 00:02:10,625
to my father lecture.
20
00:02:10,626 --> 00:02:14,208
Now the faculty would
have me teach it was Wordsworth,
21
00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:18,583
Keats and Coleridge who,
in writing about love,
22
00:02:18,584 --> 00:02:22,083
defined the Romantic Age.
23
00:02:22,584 --> 00:02:26,249
And they've told
me to ignore Byron.
24
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:28,915
'Mad, bad, and dangerous to
know' was how one of his many
25
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:33,082
lovers described him.
He was controversial.
26
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:36,874
Now did you know, this esteemed
establishment told Byron that
27
00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:39,874
he wasn't allowed to bring
his beloved dogs to college.
28
00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:41,206
So he said 'screw the rules.'
29
00:02:41,207 --> 00:02:43,748
He went out and he
bought himself a bear.
30
00:02:43,749 --> 00:02:46,081
Brought it to class
on a chain and leash,
31
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:49,331
tied it up to that
very pipe just there.
32
00:02:49,332 --> 00:02:52,956
So, you see, it was Byron
who defined the Romantic Age,
33
00:02:52,957 --> 00:02:57,706
which wasn't about love.
It was about going your own way.
34
00:02:57,707 --> 00:03:00,455
Defying authority and
following your heart.
35
00:03:00,456 --> 00:03:03,164
Sticking it to the man and
as many women as possible.
36
00:03:03,165 --> 00:03:06,122
Now that's-- that is Romantic!
37
00:03:06,665 --> 00:03:08,913
And if the faculty don't
like me saying so, well,
38
00:03:08,914 --> 00:03:11,788
they can take this job and
they can shove it. Because like
39
00:03:11,789 --> 00:03:16,454
Mr. Bob Dylan, I ain't gonna
work on Maggie's Farm no more!
40
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:21,538
Dad hated authority...
and everyone loved him for it.
41
00:03:21,539 --> 00:03:26,538
All I wanted was to
be just like him.
42
00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:32,496
Forget the critics.
43
00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:34,787
Let them have their opinions.
44
00:03:34,788 --> 00:03:37,704
Let them publish their books
and brag about them at tedious
45
00:03:37,705 --> 00:03:41,996
faculty parties, and let
university librarians
46
00:03:41,997 --> 00:03:44,370
file those books away.
47
00:03:44,371 --> 00:03:47,620
The faculty
has called this class:
48
00:03:47,621 --> 00:03:52,619
'The Romantics
and Literary Theory'.
49
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:57,036
I want you all to forget the
second half of this sentence.
50
00:03:57,037 --> 00:04:01,077
There's nothing theoretical
about the Romantics.
51
00:04:03,287 --> 00:04:10,660
Where true love burns, desire
is love's pure passion.
52
00:04:11,786 --> 00:04:17,201
It is the reflex
of our earthly frame
53
00:04:18,078 --> 00:04:21,910
that takes its meaning
from the nobler parts,
54
00:04:21,911 --> 00:04:27,243
and but translates the
language of the heart.
55
00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:34,076
Wakey, wakey,
Professor Haig.
56
00:04:34,827 --> 00:04:38,200
Oh, shit...
it's Saturday, isn't it?
57
00:04:38,201 --> 00:04:41,242
Now don't look like that.
Are you sure about this?
58
00:04:41,243 --> 00:04:43,159
I mean, I make a terrible
first impression.
59
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:47,992
Will you relax, Richard?
My dad is gonna love you.
60
00:04:47,993 --> 00:04:48,450
Really?
61
00:04:48,451 --> 00:04:50,325
Yeah, you'll
have lots to talk about.
62
00:04:50,326 --> 00:04:52,284
Yeah, corporate,
hard-nosed raider meets
63
00:04:52,285 --> 00:04:55,658
libidinous Lit professor.
It's a match made in heaven.
64
00:04:55,659 --> 00:04:57,908
I just want my dad to
meet the wonderful man
65
00:04:57,909 --> 00:05:00,324
I've been dating for
the last six months.
66
00:05:00,325 --> 00:05:01,116
Six months?
67
00:05:01,117 --> 00:05:02,408
Broke your
record, didn't I?
68
00:05:02,409 --> 00:05:03,616
- Done what?
- Easy.
69
00:05:03,617 --> 00:05:08,074
Love is begun by time,
and time qualifies the
70
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,490
spark and fire of it all.
71
00:05:10,491 --> 00:05:13,866
Relax. You're still
very sparky, darling.
72
00:05:13,867 --> 00:05:14,615
Really sparky, I mean--
73
00:05:14,616 --> 00:05:18,907
Well, my Liege, I must hie me
to Heathrow, thou to London.
74
00:05:18,908 --> 00:05:21,157
Chimes of six o'clock sharp.
75
00:05:21,158 --> 00:05:23,282
- Sure. Of course.
- Sharp.
76
00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:26,407
Sharp. six o'clock. Chimes.
77
00:05:53,115 --> 00:05:55,738
Sal, I've got to go.
78
00:05:55,739 --> 00:05:58,655
Why? Because we've
been talking for so long,
79
00:05:58,656 --> 00:06:02,613
I've lost track of
time, space and myself.
80
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,280
Hello, Olivia?
81
00:06:06,281 --> 00:06:08,946
Not to worry,
madam, I'll call maintenance.
82
00:06:08,947 --> 00:06:10,320
We'll fish it out later.
83
00:06:10,321 --> 00:06:12,113
Are you there?
Can you hear me?
84
00:06:12,114 --> 00:06:15,237
- Please don't.
- Hello?
85
00:06:15,405 --> 00:06:17,487
Olivia?
86
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,361
Hoopla!
There you go.
87
00:06:38,362 --> 00:06:41,986
Are they fishing your
phone out of the drain?
88
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,652
No, I told them not to.
89
00:06:47,653 --> 00:06:50,610
I am cutting myself
off from the world.
90
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:54,485
Footloose and fancy-free.
91
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:59,318
Won't that be lonely?
An island all to yourself?
92
00:06:59,777 --> 00:07:01,610
No.
93
00:07:01,777 --> 00:07:04,277
Can I have a glass
of red wine, please?
94
00:07:04,278 --> 00:07:05,068
Yes, madam.
95
00:07:05,069 --> 00:07:10,734
No, I would populate the
island with all new people.
96
00:07:11,027 --> 00:07:13,484
People that I actually like.
97
00:07:13,485 --> 00:07:16,317
Yes, but then things change.
The people you thought you
98
00:07:16,318 --> 00:07:20,401
like turn out to be as bad as
the people you left behind.
99
00:07:20,402 --> 00:07:24,192
Soon you're moving to another
island and so it goes on,
100
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,942
ad infinitum.
101
00:07:25,943 --> 00:07:27,483
You know my solution?
102
00:07:27,484 --> 00:07:30,275
Get along with everyone.
103
00:07:30,526 --> 00:07:31,108
Really.
104
00:07:31,109 --> 00:07:37,608
Then why are you here alone in a
hotel bar on a Saturday night?
105
00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:40,732
Well, I certainly
wouldn't keep you waiting.
106
00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:45,482
Exactly. Because you
never know what kind of-
107
00:07:45,483 --> 00:07:49,274
handsome stranger
I might start talking to?
108
00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:57,399
I do desire we become
better strangers.
109
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,357
Pulling out
the Shakespeare.
110
00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:02,399
Is that line successful
for you normally?
111
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,940
I have my moments with it.
112
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,857
You know?
Comme si, comme sa.
113
00:08:05,858 --> 00:08:09,606
Excuse me, sir.
Ma'am.
114
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,273
Oh.
115
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:15,939
Thank you.
You're so kind.
116
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:18,398
There you go.
Back on the grid.
117
00:08:18,399 --> 00:08:22,314
Why is it the most helpful
people are always around
118
00:08:22,315 --> 00:08:24,022
when you do not want any help?
119
00:08:24,023 --> 00:08:27,814
Yeah, well, give him a minute,
he'll be back with a shoemaker.
120
00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:32,689
On the other hand, it is
nice to be looked after
121
00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:33,980
every now and then.
- Mm-hm.
122
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:37,688
- The other day, I found myself
opening a door for a man.
123
00:08:37,689 --> 00:08:40,021
What happened to chivalry?
124
00:08:40,022 --> 00:08:43,188
You know why guys
open doors for women?
125
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:43,604
No.
126
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:45,771
So we can check out
your arses as you walk by.
127
00:08:45,772 --> 00:08:48,938
You're just full of all these
amazing insights, aren't you?
128
00:08:48,939 --> 00:08:53,604
I can tell within one
minute of meeting someone...
129
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:57,728
if I want to be with them.
130
00:08:57,855 --> 00:08:59,271
How what about me?
131
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,187
Do you want to be with me?
132
00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,353
Yes.
133
00:09:05,771 --> 00:09:08,478
For one more minute.
134
00:09:10,354 --> 00:09:12,436
Okay.
135
00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:15,811
You've got a minute.
136
00:09:16,146 --> 00:09:19,270
What are you gonna do with it?
137
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,561
Olivia?
Oh, my god! Hi!
138
00:09:26,562 --> 00:09:28,894
What are you doing here?
139
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:33,352
I-- I was in Dublin in--
In the book festival,
140
00:09:33,353 --> 00:09:36,060
and Dad called me and told
me that you were coming, that
141
00:09:36,061 --> 00:09:38,768
he was meeting you here and that
I should come and surprise you.
142
00:09:38,769 --> 00:09:41,768
Surprise! He flaked on us,
didn't he?
143
00:09:41,769 --> 00:09:42,977
Yes.
144
00:09:42,978 --> 00:09:46,059
So how'd you two
make the connection? Hi.
145
00:09:47,894 --> 00:09:50,101
You're
the famous Olivia?
146
00:09:51,227 --> 00:09:52,934
My beautiful
sister, Olivia,
147
00:09:52,935 --> 00:09:56,934
Olivia, my gorgeous
English man, Richard Haig.
148
00:09:56,935 --> 00:09:59,934
- You look great.
- Thank you.
149
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,475
So, me, my dad and my
mom are staying at this hotel
150
00:10:03,476 --> 00:10:06,100
that we always stay at.
And my dad keeps running off,
151
00:10:06,101 --> 00:10:09,267
saying he has like meetings
or appointments, whatever.
152
00:10:09,268 --> 00:10:13,100
And finally my Mom gets fed up,
and she decides to tail him
153
00:10:13,101 --> 00:10:16,016
one day to one
of his "meetings".
154
00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:18,766
Ends up following him to
the other end of the beach,
155
00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:23,016
where Livvy is
staying with her mom--
156
00:10:23,934 --> 00:10:26,891
And all
hell breaks loose.
157
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:29,099
Our dad is
leading a double life.
158
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,807
Like raising two families
at the same time.
159
00:10:31,808 --> 00:10:33,765
What a naughty boy.
160
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,974
Right? Crazy.
161
00:10:38,975 --> 00:10:43,557
Anyway, I take Kate to the
beach. I'm sitting there and I'm
162
00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:48,265
trying to process everything,
you know? What my father did.
163
00:10:48,266 --> 00:10:49,557
My poor Mom.
164
00:10:49,558 --> 00:10:52,223
And the fact that I have
this little, lovely sister.
165
00:10:52,224 --> 00:10:55,181
For me, I mean, I was stoked.
I always wanted a big sister.
166
00:10:55,182 --> 00:10:58,931
And I decide the only
way we can protect each other
167
00:10:58,932 --> 00:11:03,931
from this craziness is if
Kate and I make a pact.
168
00:11:03,932 --> 00:11:06,139
No secrets.
169
00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:07,764
Absolute honesty.
170
00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:12,264
From this day forward, we would
tell each other everything.
171
00:11:12,265 --> 00:11:12,680
Hm.
172
00:11:12,681 --> 00:11:14,596
No matter what, always.
173
00:11:14,597 --> 00:11:18,721
And we have.
And we're like best friends.
174
00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:23,596
So, Livvy,
how is your Allen?
175
00:11:25,764 --> 00:11:26,887
What?
176
00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:27,929
Ah.
177
00:11:27,930 --> 00:11:31,012
Please, tell us about Allen.
178
00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:33,512
He's great.
179
00:11:33,513 --> 00:11:36,971
Livvy's Allen is the
Allen Sloan, you know,
180
00:11:36,972 --> 00:11:38,138
the romance writer?
- Really?
181
00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:40,428
And Livvy edits his books
and they're totally in love.
182
00:11:40,429 --> 00:11:44,220
Madly and totally in
love with a romance writer?
183
00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:45,220
That sounds fascinating.
184
00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:49,428
Well, no more than the
Romantics professor's passion
185
00:11:49,429 --> 00:11:51,220
for his students, surely.
186
00:11:51,221 --> 00:11:53,095
- Oh--
- Livvy. Be nice.
187
00:11:53,096 --> 00:11:53,678
Yes, Kate.
188
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,220
Would either of you like
a little taste of my steak?
189
00:11:56,221 --> 00:11:57,344
No, thanks.
190
00:11:57,345 --> 00:11:59,427
It's very tender.
191
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,427
You're unbelievable, aren't you?
192
00:12:04,428 --> 00:12:04,844
Sorry?
193
00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:08,594
Of course, on the verge
of graduating, going home,
194
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,469
she's the perfect catch
for you, isn't she?
195
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:12,094
- Hey!
- I get it, I get it.
196
00:12:12,095 --> 00:12:18,593
He's hot and funny and smart
and he's got the suave accent!
197
00:12:18,594 --> 00:12:23,593
But all I see is a Lothario
with an eternally wandering eye
198
00:12:23,594 --> 00:12:26,926
who simply charmed the
pants off you. Literally.
199
00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:28,301
Livvy, what
are you doing?
200
00:12:28,302 --> 00:12:33,260
Kate, I know, this feels
like love, but no, no, no, no.
201
00:12:33,261 --> 00:12:35,634
This is not love,
this is a fling!
202
00:12:35,635 --> 00:12:38,092
How do you know?
What are you even saying?
203
00:12:38,093 --> 00:12:40,926
Obviously, you are looking
for for a father figure,
204
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:44,758
but in our case, it
means a self-centered,
205
00:12:44,759 --> 00:12:48,259
cheating womanizer
whose not to be trusted!
206
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,259
And you're just so
young, you can't see it.
207
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:53,092
Really? How young were you when
you ran off with Anwar, huh?
208
00:12:53,093 --> 00:12:56,299
We thought I was pregnant!
- Well, I am.
209
00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:58,424
- What?
- What?
210
00:12:58,425 --> 00:13:00,758
I-- I wanted to tell
you earlier, but--
211
00:13:00,759 --> 00:13:03,383
Pregnant, with a-- with a baby?
212
00:13:03,758 --> 00:13:07,133
Yeah. I wanted to
tell you another way,
213
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,757
but this is so weird,
I just--
214
00:13:08,758 --> 00:13:12,049
No, this is the perfect way.
This is really the perfect way,
215
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:17,590
I think-- yeah, that's--
that's great. Really great.
216
00:13:17,591 --> 00:13:19,715
Well, that
was so heartfelt.
217
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:24,382
Livvy! Livvy, thank
you so much for supper.
218
00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:26,714
Remind me never
to do this again.
219
00:13:26,715 --> 00:13:30,132
I'm just gonna go
outside and get some fresh air.
220
00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:32,173
- What do you mean?
- Excuse me. Air.
221
00:13:32,174 --> 00:13:33,923
Yeah. Run.
222
00:13:33,924 --> 00:13:35,589
- Richard!
- Yeah.
223
00:13:35,590 --> 00:13:36,923
- Richard!
- Yeah! I'm here.
224
00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:39,256
Look, I know I just dropped
a bomb on you back there.
225
00:13:39,257 --> 00:13:43,297
So, right here, right now,
I'm giving you the out.
226
00:13:43,298 --> 00:13:44,839
I just want
some air, that's all.
227
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,422
You just need
some time to think.
228
00:13:46,423 --> 00:13:49,713
It's--
it's fine. I get it.
229
00:13:50,257 --> 00:13:53,755
So, I'm moving to L.A.
230
00:13:53,756 --> 00:13:54,255
Oh.
231
00:13:54,256 --> 00:13:57,171
I got a really cool job
at a venture capital firm.
232
00:13:57,172 --> 00:13:58,797
You're full
of surprises today.
233
00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:02,421
You'll love L.A. It'll be
like Cambridge-ish, but with
234
00:14:02,422 --> 00:14:07,546
a lot of palm trees and like,
chicks with tans and stuff.
235
00:14:10,256 --> 00:14:11,088
Oh, honey, you're all clammy.
236
00:14:11,089 --> 00:14:13,796
Really, I just need
some air, that's all really.
237
00:14:13,797 --> 00:14:14,295
Okay.
238
00:14:14,296 --> 00:14:18,129
Yeah, okay. I'll be back in
there, go ahead. You go.
239
00:14:18,713 --> 00:14:20,254
- Richard?
- Yeah?
240
00:14:20,255 --> 00:14:22,629
You're gonna be a great father.
241
00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:25,670
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
242
00:14:34,004 --> 00:14:36,878
Did you have a good
dinner then, sir?
243
00:14:52,545 --> 00:14:56,252
Oh, where the
buggering hell have you been?
244
00:14:56,253 --> 00:14:57,585
I said 6:00.
245
00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:58,752
Sorry about that, Dad.
246
00:14:58,753 --> 00:15:03,001
Didn't realize your grumbling
ran on such a tight schedule.
247
00:15:03,294 --> 00:15:06,960
Bloody miserable
out there as usual.
248
00:15:10,669 --> 00:15:12,876
Agh, agh, agh, don't touch that!
249
00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:15,875
Oh, good god,
Dad, I'm not five-years-old.
250
00:15:15,876 --> 00:15:17,417
Hi, Richard, dear.
251
00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:19,251
Hello, Joan.
252
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:19,959
How's everything?
253
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,334
Oh, just terrific.
Thanks for asking.
254
00:15:23,335 --> 00:15:27,042
You still boffing
the Yank totty, are you?
255
00:15:27,043 --> 00:15:29,625
Yes, she's
a great girl.
256
00:15:29,626 --> 00:15:33,041
Bright, beautiful, ambitious.
257
00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:35,333
You mean, a
horrible little upstart,
258
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,208
determined to 'go places'.
259
00:15:37,209 --> 00:15:41,416
So tell me, when are you
going to start going places?
260
00:15:41,417 --> 00:15:44,166
Oh, good god, please don't
start with this again, Dad!
261
00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:46,707
I mean, come on, when
I was your age, I mean I'd been
262
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:48,415
the head of the department
for seven years!
263
00:15:48,416 --> 00:15:51,082
Yeah, and it made
you so happy, didn't it, Dad?
264
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,582
All right, what's
the grievance today?
265
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:57,832
Split infinitive on the news?
Too many women with jobs?
266
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,457
It's his waterworks.
267
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,957
He's got to go back into
hospital next week.
268
00:16:01,958 --> 00:16:05,456
Stop talking
about my cock, woman!
269
00:16:10,082 --> 00:16:12,581
Tell me
something, Dad.
270
00:16:16,082 --> 00:16:18,914
Why did you and Mum get married?
271
00:16:18,915 --> 00:16:19,914
Now, what kind of an
272
00:16:19,915 --> 00:16:22,331
inane question is that
for a Thursday evening?
273
00:16:22,332 --> 00:16:25,288
For a man who revels
in reckless promiscuity,
274
00:16:25,289 --> 00:16:29,413
your four marriages do
beg some questions.
275
00:16:29,706 --> 00:16:32,539
Your mother
fed me regularly.
276
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,996
She pleasured me
half-decently now and then.
277
00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:37,996
What more could a man want?
278
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,122
Oh, I don't know, friendship?
279
00:16:40,123 --> 00:16:44,412
Someone to see the world
with, have a laugh with.
280
00:16:44,413 --> 00:16:47,871
Maybe even start a family with.
281
00:16:48,831 --> 00:16:50,871
Good god, man,
282
00:16:50,872 --> 00:16:55,412
you've fallen for that
little slice of American pie.
283
00:16:55,413 --> 00:16:55,912
Dad.
284
00:16:55,913 --> 00:16:58,037
Now you listen to me,
this might be the most important
285
00:16:58,038 --> 00:17:01,954
bit of advice that
I ever give you.
286
00:17:02,371 --> 00:17:06,245
American women may be fun in
Victoria Secret when you
287
00:17:06,246 --> 00:17:09,912
first met 'em. But as soon as
they get their claws into you,
288
00:17:09,913 --> 00:17:12,411
they stop fucking
and start eating.
289
00:17:12,412 --> 00:17:16,619
And the only ass you're
gonna get is a fat one!
290
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:17,619
Why'd I open my mouth?
291
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:22,245
American women invariably
become spouters of self-help
292
00:17:22,246 --> 00:17:26,953
attitudes, addicted to designer
labels, dieting and frozen
293
00:17:26,954 --> 00:17:33,160
yogurt. Overall, thoroughly
nasty selfish, vain creatures.
294
00:17:33,161 --> 00:17:36,327
That don't fuck!
295
00:17:37,328 --> 00:17:40,701
Thank you for
your fatherly advice.
296
00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:43,451
Good night, Joan!
297
00:17:45,036 --> 00:17:46,910
Bugger off, then!
298
00:17:46,911 --> 00:17:49,867
See if I care!
299
00:17:56,369 --> 00:17:58,951
Kate! Kate!
300
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:01,617
Screw Cambridge!
I'm in.
301
00:18:01,618 --> 00:18:03,867
- Really?
- Really.
302
00:18:03,868 --> 00:18:05,617
- Really?
- Yes.
303
00:19:04,615 --> 00:19:07,531
Welcome to the world, Jakey.
304
00:19:07,532 --> 00:19:10,780
It's a beautiful world.
305
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:11,905
Ooh.
306
00:19:11,906 --> 00:19:15,780
Do you need the booby now?
Do you want the booby?
307
00:19:15,781 --> 00:19:19,530
Yes, he's a boy
after my own heart.
308
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,904
Okay, family.
Here we go.
309
00:19:39,196 --> 00:19:41,278
Here you are, Jakey.
Welcome home.
310
00:19:41,279 --> 00:19:44,695
A modest 'little house'
your granddad bought your
311
00:19:44,696 --> 00:19:47,986
mom out of guilt.
Don't fall in the pool.
312
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:48,612
I won't.
313
00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:50,112
You probably will
never meet anyway,
314
00:19:50,113 --> 00:19:53,444
he has a very bad habit
of never showing up.
315
00:19:53,445 --> 00:19:54,903
Hey.
316
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,903
All right.
317
00:20:02,237 --> 00:20:05,694
Oh, I'm gonna call Livvy.
Can you take the baby?
318
00:20:05,695 --> 00:20:07,528
Sure.
- Okay.
319
00:20:07,529 --> 00:20:09,444
Okay.
320
00:20:40,235 --> 00:20:45,275
I know it's easier to read the
critics and the Cliff notes,
321
00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:47,817
but forget about them.
322
00:20:47,818 --> 00:20:51,775
Read the poems.
Put the time in.
323
00:20:51,776 --> 00:20:57,316
After all, nothing
will come of nothing.
324
00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:01,775
What was that from? Hm?
325
00:21:05,691 --> 00:21:08,024
Anyone?
326
00:21:08,566 --> 00:21:09,274
Hey, there you go!
327
00:21:09,275 --> 00:21:11,440
Yeah, I'm having
trouble getting on the WiFi.
328
00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:14,024
What's the password again?
329
00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:16,357
I think
they're all on Prozac.
330
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,941
Did you hear
from the university yet?
331
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:21,940
Um, no, they
went with the other guy.
332
00:21:21,941 --> 00:21:24,482
I told you
to kiss ass more.
333
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:25,148
Angela, please.
334
00:21:25,149 --> 00:21:27,981
Well, I'm sure something
will open up soon at ULA.
335
00:21:27,982 --> 00:21:30,023
Yeah, well, one
can only hope, can't one?
336
00:21:30,024 --> 00:21:31,815
In the meantime, I'm
glad that you're still
337
00:21:31,816 --> 00:21:33,231
slumming it here with us.
338
00:21:33,232 --> 00:21:35,773
You city college lot
don't pull any punches, do you?
339
00:21:35,774 --> 00:21:37,940
We will go sixteen
rounds with anyone.
340
00:21:37,941 --> 00:21:39,439
Bring it on.
341
00:21:53,606 --> 00:21:55,688
Arsehole.
342
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,730
Asshole.
343
00:21:57,731 --> 00:22:00,896
Never let me hear
you say that word, Jake.
344
00:22:00,897 --> 00:22:04,063
The word is arsehole,
not asshole.
345
00:22:04,064 --> 00:22:05,604
Can you say arsehole?
346
00:22:05,605 --> 00:22:09,188
- Asshole.
- Yes, elongate the 'A'.
347
00:22:09,730 --> 00:22:11,229
There we go.
348
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,687
I'll get them.
I'll get them.
349
00:22:13,688 --> 00:22:15,354
Oh, where--
350
00:22:16,438 --> 00:22:17,229
Momma.
351
00:22:17,230 --> 00:22:19,895
No, Momma's at work.
352
00:22:20,563 --> 00:22:22,270
She'll be back later.
353
00:22:22,271 --> 00:22:23,853
Momma.
354
00:22:28,395 --> 00:22:30,269
No, that's Hummer.
355
00:22:30,479 --> 00:22:32,062
Hummer.
356
00:22:32,063 --> 00:22:33,520
Hah, well done.
Hummer.
357
00:22:33,521 --> 00:22:35,561
- Pull over.
- What? I can't--
358
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:38,811
- Pull over! Pull over!
Listen to this voicemail.
359
00:22:40,604 --> 00:22:42,936
I thought he was
saying 'Momma', then I realized
360
00:22:42,937 --> 00:22:46,228
he was pointing at one of those
absurdly oversized tanks
361
00:22:46,229 --> 00:22:49,268
driven no doubt by
some idiot with an absurdly
362
00:22:49,269 --> 00:22:50,894
undersized penis.
Jake--
363
00:22:50,895 --> 00:22:53,644
This is
not an oversized car.
364
00:22:53,895 --> 00:22:55,852
He knows.
365
00:23:02,436 --> 00:23:04,227
Hey there, sexy.
Where are you?
366
00:23:04,228 --> 00:23:05,851
- I'm in New York.
- Oh--
367
00:23:05,852 --> 00:23:07,476
Honey, do I look chunky?
368
00:23:07,477 --> 00:23:10,851
Didn't mean to call
you sexy. Wrong person.
369
00:23:11,519 --> 00:23:13,726
No, I look good.
370
00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:15,892
Hah-hah, very funny.
Is Kate there?
371
00:23:15,893 --> 00:23:19,267
She's not back yet. Still
banking, busy counting things.
372
00:23:19,268 --> 00:23:21,934
Well, tell her to call
me right, right away,
373
00:23:21,935 --> 00:23:24,267
because I have something
really big to tell her.
374
00:23:24,268 --> 00:23:27,226
Well, no secrets
in the family, pray tell?
375
00:23:27,227 --> 00:23:29,558
I can't believe that
I'm about to--
376
00:23:29,559 --> 00:23:33,600
Richard. I don't know
why this is so hard for me.
377
00:23:33,601 --> 00:23:37,225
I've been trying to
tell you now for weeks.
378
00:23:37,226 --> 00:23:39,141
Allen's asked me to marry him.
379
00:23:39,142 --> 00:23:41,849
I'm in love
with somebody else.
380
00:23:42,226 --> 00:23:43,891
You're what?
381
00:23:43,892 --> 00:23:44,766
We're getting married!
382
00:23:44,767 --> 00:23:47,808
Don't act so surprised
that somebody asked me.
383
00:23:47,809 --> 00:23:49,390
Who-- who is it?
384
00:23:49,391 --> 00:23:50,557
Who are you talking to?
385
00:23:50,558 --> 00:23:53,057
Answer the question!
Who is it?
386
00:23:53,058 --> 00:23:53,973
I just did!
387
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:55,807
Who's on the phone?
388
00:23:56,724 --> 00:23:58,015
Hello?
- Kate! Kate!
389
00:23:58,016 --> 00:24:00,015
I have to call you back!
390
00:24:00,016 --> 00:24:01,474
What? Hello?
391
00:24:01,475 --> 00:24:05,389
I was just, I mean,
I was really young, okay?
392
00:24:05,390 --> 00:24:08,556
Really young.
Not that you're not, of course.
393
00:24:08,557 --> 00:24:11,890
But I really thought that I
loved you, but clearly I was
394
00:24:11,891 --> 00:24:15,389
working through Daddy issues.
And then I got pregnant,
395
00:24:15,390 --> 00:24:18,264
and you were just trying
to do the right thing.
396
00:24:18,265 --> 00:24:21,806
And you've always been a really
good father, but let's face it,
397
00:24:21,807 --> 00:24:25,263
you never really loved me.
But Brian does.
398
00:24:25,264 --> 00:24:29,263
Brian? Brian? That
little idiot from the office?
399
00:24:29,264 --> 00:24:33,597
He likes to talk to me
about start-ups and acquisitions
400
00:24:33,598 --> 00:24:34,388
and exit strategies.
401
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:37,971
I mean, all the stuff that you
think is so boring about me.
402
00:24:37,972 --> 00:24:39,055
It is boring! God!
403
00:24:39,056 --> 00:24:43,554
Why do you have to be so
goddamn English! Talk to me!
404
00:24:43,555 --> 00:24:48,471
You can leave me,
but I am not leaving that boy.
405
00:24:49,055 --> 00:24:50,429
Brian, pff, little--
406
00:24:50,430 --> 00:24:54,970
Richard, why can't
you just talk to me?
407
00:25:05,888 --> 00:25:09,678
Now, I know two years
in the pool house makes me look
408
00:25:09,679 --> 00:25:11,637
a little inert, but
I'll say two things.
409
00:25:11,638 --> 00:25:15,386
First, your Mum and Brian hated
me being there, which was
410
00:25:15,387 --> 00:25:19,803
the most wonderful incentive
to stay. And secondly...
411
00:25:21,096 --> 00:25:23,969
I wanted to be close to you.
412
00:25:24,386 --> 00:25:27,052
Good mor-ning!
413
00:25:27,470 --> 00:25:30,927
I think you're gonna
want to see this.
414
00:25:31,053 --> 00:25:31,677
Oh, Misty.
415
00:25:31,678 --> 00:25:34,594
Is the Big Bad
Professor awake yet?
416
00:25:34,595 --> 00:25:36,260
Dad, get up!
Breaker, breaker!
417
00:25:36,261 --> 00:25:39,426
You got your ears on?
- Um-- okay--
418
00:25:39,427 --> 00:25:41,551
- Are you awake?
- It's Jakey, just--
419
00:25:41,552 --> 00:25:45,760
Dad, get up.
Are you having a sleepover?
420
00:25:45,761 --> 00:25:49,884
Hi, Jakey! Good morning!
Where are you?
421
00:25:49,885 --> 00:25:51,510
Can I come and play?
422
00:25:51,511 --> 00:25:53,593
Just a second, Jakey!
423
00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:54,926
- Hey, Misty.
- Hi.
424
00:25:54,927 --> 00:25:58,717
Would you mind just skedaddling
for now? It's my son.
425
00:25:58,718 --> 00:26:02,051
Your son? I love kids!
I babysit!
426
00:26:02,052 --> 00:26:04,467
Sorry about this.
The perils of parenthood.
427
00:26:04,468 --> 00:26:05,175
- It's okay, it's okay.
428
00:26:05,176 --> 00:26:06,383
- Come and see me
during the week.
429
00:26:06,384 --> 00:26:07,425
- When?
- Make it a surprise.
430
00:26:07,426 --> 00:26:09,217
Ooh! I love surprises.
Okay, I will.
431
00:26:09,218 --> 00:26:12,008
- Okay. Goodbye!
- Whoo!
432
00:26:12,009 --> 00:26:13,425
- Who's that?
- What? Oh, just a friend of
433
00:26:13,426 --> 00:26:18,133
mine, a very busy lady.
She had to leave. There you go.
434
00:26:18,218 --> 00:26:20,257
Aren't these
uncomfortable?
435
00:26:20,258 --> 00:26:22,133
That's why girls love
it when you take them off.
436
00:26:22,134 --> 00:26:23,800
Come on, let's
get some pancakes.
437
00:26:23,801 --> 00:26:25,965
Dad, get on with it.
438
00:26:25,966 --> 00:26:28,758
So, there we were.
439
00:26:29,217 --> 00:26:35,299
And then, last week,
everything went pear-shaped.
440
00:26:35,966 --> 00:26:39,091
I have the
papers you asked for.
441
00:26:39,758 --> 00:26:42,049
Will that be all, Professor?
442
00:26:42,050 --> 00:26:45,090
For now. Yes, thanks.
443
00:26:47,591 --> 00:26:49,215
Great.
444
00:26:49,882 --> 00:26:51,756
Excuse me.
445
00:26:52,257 --> 00:26:54,464
Newest member of the
TA of the Month Club?
446
00:26:54,465 --> 00:26:56,923
How dare you
insinuate such a thing.
447
00:26:56,924 --> 00:26:59,422
You have a visitor.
Be nice.
448
00:26:59,423 --> 00:27:01,506
Send her in.
449
00:27:01,757 --> 00:27:03,422
Thank you.
450
00:27:06,465 --> 00:27:08,672
Professor Piggott,
what a delight!
451
00:27:08,673 --> 00:27:09,963
How's your
father these days?
452
00:27:09,964 --> 00:27:12,380
Loving life, he is.
Happy as a clam.
453
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,588
It's good to hear.
Well, I received your
454
00:27:14,589 --> 00:27:16,963
application for the
position at the University.
455
00:27:16,964 --> 00:27:19,213
I was in the area, so
I thought I'd just pop by
456
00:27:19,214 --> 00:27:22,379
and invite you to a
soiree I'm giving tomorrow.
457
00:27:22,380 --> 00:27:22,838
Splendid.
458
00:27:22,839 --> 00:27:24,630
The faculty will
be there, of course.
459
00:27:24,631 --> 00:27:26,921
I thought it might be a good
idea for you to come by and
460
00:27:26,922 --> 00:27:29,670
just sort of butter them up.
Not me, by the way.
461
00:27:29,671 --> 00:27:32,046
I consider myself
lavishly buttered.
462
00:27:32,047 --> 00:27:33,879
Oh, well,
that's good to know.
463
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:34,670
So we'll
see you there?
464
00:27:34,671 --> 00:27:37,088
Wouldn't miss
it for the world.
465
00:27:37,379 --> 00:27:40,837
Dusks in Killarney just
sold its five millionth copy.
466
00:27:40,838 --> 00:27:42,378
You are unbelievable!
467
00:27:42,379 --> 00:27:43,003
What?
468
00:27:43,004 --> 00:27:45,836
Here I am splayed out
like an open-faced sandwich
469
00:27:45,837 --> 00:27:49,003
so we can have a baby.
And all you care about--
470
00:27:49,004 --> 00:27:50,378
Mr. Sloan?
471
00:27:50,379 --> 00:27:50,878
Oh?
472
00:27:50,879 --> 00:27:53,669
Would you mind signing
a copy of your book for me?
473
00:27:53,670 --> 00:27:55,920
Of course.
Did you like it?
474
00:27:55,921 --> 00:27:57,419
Are you kidding?
It was great.
475
00:27:57,420 --> 00:28:01,211
Really? Is that Desiree
with two 'E's or one 'E'?
476
00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:04,252
Ow! What the hell was that for?
477
00:28:04,378 --> 00:28:08,503
Oops, it slipped. Can I
have my phone back, please?
478
00:28:09,545 --> 00:28:11,960
There you go. You can do it,
just concentrate.
479
00:28:11,961 --> 00:28:14,585
Nice big swing.
That's it.
480
00:28:14,586 --> 00:28:15,627
Dad, I suck.
481
00:28:15,628 --> 00:28:17,919
No, you don't, you don't.
You look great, just--
482
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,210
Oh, who's here!
Jakey, what up, dog?
483
00:28:21,211 --> 00:28:24,418
Yo, give me some love.
Blow it up, blow.
484
00:28:24,419 --> 00:28:25,376
Goat busting!
485
00:28:25,377 --> 00:28:26,376
I got a fist thing!
Agh!
486
00:28:26,377 --> 00:28:29,584
Not so loud. Now we just were
playing a little ball here.
487
00:28:29,585 --> 00:28:31,251
Oh, right, right,
sorry, sorry, sorry.
488
00:28:31,252 --> 00:28:31,834
Okay. So--
489
00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:33,001
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
490
00:28:33,002 --> 00:28:34,417
What are you doing?
Dude, you're a righty. You gotta
491
00:28:34,418 --> 00:28:36,209
switch your hands around.
Come around there.
492
00:28:36,210 --> 00:28:36,751
Go ahead.
493
00:28:36,752 --> 00:28:38,959
Head up. Keep your eye
on the ball. Hit it to Dad!
494
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:39,501
Owwww!!!
495
00:28:39,502 --> 00:28:41,000
- Sorry, Dad!
- It's okay! Agh!
496
00:28:41,001 --> 00:28:42,875
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
497
00:28:42,876 --> 00:28:44,542
I'm okay, son.
I'm all right.
498
00:28:44,543 --> 00:28:46,917
It's just an
occupational hazard.
499
00:28:46,918 --> 00:28:48,792
Yeah, that
looks pretty bad.
500
00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:51,292
Oh, this? It's okay.
501
00:28:53,251 --> 00:28:54,042
- Hey!
- Hey.
502
00:28:54,043 --> 00:28:57,708
- Did you remember Atlanta?
- Yeah. No. Atlanta?
503
00:28:57,709 --> 00:29:00,374
Brian and I,
four days, conference,
504
00:29:00,375 --> 00:29:01,792
we leave the day after tomorrow?
505
00:29:01,793 --> 00:29:03,041
Good, sounds good,
I'll be there.
506
00:29:03,042 --> 00:29:05,374
- Well, no, you'll be here.
- Well, I'll be here, but--
507
00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:07,041
- Yeah. Here's Jakey's schedule.
- Great!
508
00:29:07,042 --> 00:29:09,665
I left a copy in your room,
and another one on the fridge.
509
00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:10,374
All right, that's good.
510
00:29:10,375 --> 00:29:12,957
- So, um, yeah.
- All right, I'm on it.
511
00:29:12,958 --> 00:29:15,707
- Okay.
- Jawohl, mein Fuhrer.
512
00:29:15,958 --> 00:29:17,624
Okay.
513
00:29:17,999 --> 00:29:22,123
Saul, I understand, but
I strongly believe that three
514
00:29:22,124 --> 00:29:25,499
slates is enough, it's enough.
Come on.
515
00:29:34,791 --> 00:29:36,331
You!
516
00:29:41,207 --> 00:29:43,331
Dr. Collins!
517
00:29:45,581 --> 00:29:48,580
You miserable son of a bitch!
518
00:29:53,331 --> 00:29:55,205
Yeah!
519
00:29:55,581 --> 00:29:57,954
Jesus.
520
00:29:59,539 --> 00:30:01,330
Come in.
521
00:30:01,539 --> 00:30:02,871
Shouldn't you be at work?
522
00:30:02,872 --> 00:30:04,205
Covering the Asian markets.
523
00:30:04,206 --> 00:30:06,205
Oh, hey, by the way,
I can get you in on a pretty
524
00:30:06,206 --> 00:30:08,537
sweet no-load. These guys
are killing it right now.
525
00:30:08,538 --> 00:30:10,621
I can get you 15%, 18%,
you just say the word.
526
00:30:10,622 --> 00:30:13,245
The word is no.
What is it you want? I'm busy.
527
00:30:13,246 --> 00:30:15,204
This letter came for you,
it's about your green card.
528
00:30:15,205 --> 00:30:17,704
Sorry, bro, I opened it before
I saw who it was addressed to.
529
00:30:17,705 --> 00:30:18,537
Just read it, Brian. Thank you.
530
00:30:18,538 --> 00:30:19,828
I mean, you've opened
it, just read it.
531
00:30:19,829 --> 00:30:21,037
All right.
'This is your final warning.
532
00:30:21,038 --> 00:30:24,120
If you and your spouse fail to
attend your interview next week,
533
00:30:24,121 --> 00:30:27,661
deportation proceedings
will be initiated.'
534
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:31,162
Blimey, mate.
535
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:34,953
Looks like you could be in a
spot of bovver with the bobbies!
536
00:30:35,287 --> 00:30:37,078
Keep working
on the accent, Brian.
537
00:30:37,079 --> 00:30:38,869
Close the door on the way out.
538
00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:41,203
- Cheer-ee-o!
- Shut up!
539
00:30:41,204 --> 00:30:45,078
I love the dentist.
I'm not drooling am I?
540
00:30:45,079 --> 00:30:47,244
Hello, Mr. Haig.
- Thank you.
541
00:30:47,245 --> 00:30:50,786
You can't drink alcohol
when taking this medication.
542
00:30:50,787 --> 00:30:51,911
- Really?
- Yes.
543
00:30:51,912 --> 00:30:52,619
- No?
- No.
544
00:30:52,620 --> 00:30:55,368
Absolutely not. Wouldn't dream
of it. Thank you so much.
545
00:30:55,369 --> 00:30:56,577
- No alcohol.
- Good.
546
00:30:56,578 --> 00:30:58,494
- We'll see you soon.
- Can't wait.
547
00:30:58,495 --> 00:31:00,993
Look forward to it,
thank you so much.
548
00:31:00,994 --> 00:31:02,868
- No alcohol.
- No alcohol.
549
00:31:02,869 --> 00:31:05,327
- I mean it.
- I mean it, too.
550
00:31:11,327 --> 00:31:12,284
Okay, let's go this way.
551
00:31:12,285 --> 00:31:16,534
Anytime you feel like it, jump
in and lavish me with praise.
552
00:31:16,535 --> 00:31:17,992
Copy that.
553
00:31:17,993 --> 00:31:20,534
- So glad you could make it.
- Oh, thank you.
554
00:31:20,535 --> 00:31:22,700
- Here you are.
- Yes, oh, wonderful.
555
00:31:22,701 --> 00:31:24,408
Please help
yourself to refreshments.
556
00:31:24,409 --> 00:31:26,492
My wife made her
famous cheese balls.
557
00:31:26,493 --> 00:31:30,492
Please be sure to try one and
compliment her accordingly.
558
00:31:30,493 --> 00:31:33,033
Will do. Mm.
559
00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:36,366
There are some very,
very important people here.
560
00:31:36,367 --> 00:31:38,033
I'd like you to meet them.
- Mm.
561
00:31:38,034 --> 00:31:41,366
And they are your
kind of people, Richard.
562
00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:42,991
Come this way.
563
00:31:45,742 --> 00:31:48,866
My dear colleagues,
this is Richard Haig.
564
00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:52,074
This is Professor Vale,
Professor Bates, Professor Berg,
565
00:31:52,075 --> 00:31:54,783
Professor Ng and
Professor Jones.
566
00:31:57,533 --> 00:32:01,324
Can we do that again?
I forgot your names already.
567
00:32:01,908 --> 00:32:04,364
It is a damn shame we
didn't hire you, what was it,
568
00:32:04,365 --> 00:32:05,074
three years ago?
569
00:32:05,075 --> 00:32:09,032
Three years, two months and
17 days. But who's counting?
570
00:32:09,532 --> 00:32:11,198
I met your father once.
- Oh, yeah?
571
00:32:11,199 --> 00:32:14,156
He delivered a fascinating
lecture, a retort to Terry
572
00:32:14,157 --> 00:32:19,239
Hirst's hermeneutical reading
of Milton's Paradse Lost.
573
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,114
Wish I'd been
there for that one?
574
00:32:20,115 --> 00:32:23,947
Where are you from in England?
And are you a Rich or a Dick?
575
00:32:23,948 --> 00:32:24,572
I'm a Richard.
576
00:32:24,573 --> 00:32:26,197
Took a
structuralist stance--
577
00:32:26,198 --> 00:32:29,197
You know, the missus
and I, we love it over there.
578
00:32:29,198 --> 00:32:31,030
We go every summer.
- You do? Great.
579
00:32:31,031 --> 00:32:32,863
Cheers again, mate-y!
580
00:32:32,864 --> 00:32:34,863
- Now, Richard, I wanted
to let you know that these
581
00:32:34,864 --> 00:32:38,696
fervent minds here have taken
great care looking over your
582
00:32:38,697 --> 00:32:39,363
application materials,
583
00:32:39,364 --> 00:32:43,362
Never trust an Englishman
that doesn't drink, Richie Boy!
584
00:32:43,363 --> 00:32:44,863
...on an epistemological level.
585
00:32:44,864 --> 00:32:46,237
Academics,
yap, yap, yap, yap.
586
00:32:46,238 --> 00:32:48,529
I do have one small
question for you, however.
587
00:32:48,530 --> 00:32:49,780
This one is the
biggest yapper of them all.
588
00:32:49,781 --> 00:32:54,112
- How are the romantics
relevant to today's students?
589
00:32:57,821 --> 00:32:59,820
You want me to
answer this question now?
590
00:32:59,821 --> 00:33:02,237
I'm sure we'd all enjoy
hearing just a taste of
591
00:33:02,238 --> 00:33:04,236
one of your lectures.
592
00:33:04,571 --> 00:33:05,236
A taste?
593
00:33:05,237 --> 00:33:06,987
A mere amuse-bouche, is all.
594
00:33:06,988 --> 00:33:08,528
Why not the whole meal?
595
00:33:08,529 --> 00:33:10,403
Why don't you come down
and see me in action?
596
00:33:10,404 --> 00:33:12,320
You know, I happen to
be free on Thursday.
597
00:33:12,321 --> 00:33:13,403
Christ, what about that?
598
00:33:13,404 --> 00:33:16,153
I see you've
already met my wife.
599
00:33:19,612 --> 00:33:21,611
Just gonna go outside
for a moment here,
600
00:33:21,612 --> 00:33:22,819
just jump in front of a bus.
601
00:33:22,820 --> 00:33:25,903
Where are you going?
You didn't even say goodbye.
602
00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:27,778
That's true.
603
00:33:28,862 --> 00:33:30,736
Bye!
604
00:33:30,737 --> 00:33:33,486
I wonder if he
was flirting with me?
605
00:33:33,694 --> 00:33:35,693
Oh, my god!
606
00:33:39,028 --> 00:33:41,943
Oh, shit!
607
00:33:44,694 --> 00:33:46,693
Oh, bollocks!
608
00:34:07,359 --> 00:34:09,692
Shit.
Good evening, Officer.
609
00:34:09,693 --> 00:34:12,108
Oh, boy, have I been drinking?
610
00:34:12,109 --> 00:34:13,067
Oops.
611
00:34:13,068 --> 00:34:15,358
I drink every night.
612
00:34:15,359 --> 00:34:16,608
How about you.
Oohh!!
613
00:34:16,609 --> 00:34:19,649
Can't we all just get along?
614
00:34:31,649 --> 00:34:33,316
Thanks.
615
00:34:35,358 --> 00:34:36,274
Oh.
616
00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:38,940
Thanks
again for bailing me out...
617
00:34:38,941 --> 00:34:40,648
and for the silent treatment.
618
00:34:40,649 --> 00:34:42,648
Don't talk to me.
619
00:34:49,649 --> 00:34:50,856
I still can't believe it.
620
00:34:50,857 --> 00:34:54,023
- Can't believe what?
- I wasn't talking to you.
621
00:34:54,024 --> 00:34:56,522
And I wasn't talking
to you, my darling,
622
00:34:56,523 --> 00:34:58,397
little fornicating ex-wife.
623
00:34:58,398 --> 00:35:00,230
- Shut up, Richard.
- Allen dumped me.
624
00:35:00,231 --> 00:35:03,564
What a small world, my--
my wife did exactly the
625
00:35:03,565 --> 00:35:06,980
same thing.
She used to adore me.
626
00:35:07,565 --> 00:35:10,105
Where, oh where did the love go?
627
00:35:10,106 --> 00:35:11,897
She turned 30 and wised up.
628
00:35:11,898 --> 00:35:15,272
So, uh, what's going on?
Why are you here, Olivia?
629
00:35:15,273 --> 00:35:17,521
Thank you so
much for helping out.
630
00:35:17,522 --> 00:35:18,147
It's the least I can do.
631
00:35:18,148 --> 00:35:20,146
Helping-- helping out?
Helping out with what?
632
00:35:20,147 --> 00:35:22,605
I needed to know that Jake was
gonna be looked after, fed and
633
00:35:22,606 --> 00:35:26,438
driven by a responsible person
with a valid driver's license.
634
00:35:26,439 --> 00:35:27,438
Fine, why her?
635
00:35:27,439 --> 00:35:30,771
Livvy offered to come at
a very difficult time for her,
636
00:35:30,772 --> 00:35:34,395
to bail us out of the
mess that you put us in!
637
00:35:34,396 --> 00:35:36,896
You know what?
I've had enough of this.
638
00:35:36,897 --> 00:35:40,771
You know,
you say 'I' a lot.
639
00:35:40,772 --> 00:35:41,353
Really?
640
00:35:41,354 --> 00:35:45,353
Well, I know that Jake loves
having you around, but I'm
641
00:35:45,354 --> 00:35:48,604
getting phone calls from
your immigration attorney!
642
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:51,103
Because you don't ever
bother to call him back!
643
00:35:51,104 --> 00:35:52,728
I can't be in your
life any more!
644
00:35:52,729 --> 00:35:55,352
I'm enabling your
degenerate behavior!
645
00:35:55,353 --> 00:35:57,686
And what is the point
of all this right now?
646
00:35:57,687 --> 00:36:01,269
Richard, if you want me
to pretend like we're happily
647
00:36:01,270 --> 00:36:04,728
married, so you
can stay in this country,
648
00:36:04,729 --> 00:36:07,519
you better get it together.
649
00:36:20,519 --> 00:36:21,018
Yeah.
650
00:36:21,019 --> 00:36:24,018
Gotcha.
I woke you up, didn't I?
651
00:36:24,019 --> 00:36:25,018
Dad? Is that you?
652
00:36:25,019 --> 00:36:28,185
You know, there are
no time zones in China.
653
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,768
Did you know that?
The whole bloody country
654
00:36:30,769 --> 00:36:34,726
is on Peking time and
that's the way it should be.
655
00:36:34,727 --> 00:36:37,517
We should all
be on Peking time.
656
00:36:37,518 --> 00:36:38,809
- Don't be a daft prat.
657
00:36:38,810 --> 00:36:42,350
The whole world should
be on London time.
658
00:36:42,351 --> 00:36:45,309
Okay.
What do you want, Dad?
659
00:36:47,559 --> 00:36:49,184
How's the little turd?
660
00:36:49,185 --> 00:36:50,184
Don't call him that.
661
00:36:50,185 --> 00:36:53,266
Come on, you're
far too bloody sensitive.
662
00:36:53,267 --> 00:36:56,725
All right, great
to hear from you, Dad.
663
00:36:56,726 --> 00:36:59,932
Why don't you go
badger Joan, okay?
664
00:37:00,142 --> 00:37:01,391
She's not here.
665
00:37:01,392 --> 00:37:06,058
Oh, shit! Okay,
I gotta go. Goodbye.
666
00:37:22,932 --> 00:37:25,015
Richard Haig.
667
00:37:26,433 --> 00:37:27,890
Thank you.
668
00:37:34,515 --> 00:37:38,389
So your interview's
Monday. It's the forth quarter
669
00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:41,056
now, two minute warning,
you got no timeouts left.
670
00:37:41,057 --> 00:37:42,181
What the
hell're you talking about?
671
00:37:42,182 --> 00:37:45,181
If your ex-wife won't
show up to your interview, it's
672
00:37:45,182 --> 00:37:47,680
gonna be Hail Mary time, baby.
673
00:37:48,098 --> 00:37:50,056
Okay,
674
00:37:50,431 --> 00:37:52,638
so, did you
get a full-time job?
675
00:37:52,639 --> 00:37:53,680
I'm doing my best.
676
00:37:53,681 --> 00:37:56,513
Have you recently joined
any terrorist organizations?
677
00:37:56,514 --> 00:38:00,096
Applied all over.
Fingers crossed.
678
00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:05,763
Have you ever been arrested?
679
00:38:06,597 --> 00:38:08,512
Um... DUI.
680
00:38:08,513 --> 00:38:11,055
When?
How many years ago?
681
00:38:11,056 --> 00:38:11,637
Friday.
682
00:38:11,638 --> 00:38:13,929
I mean, they can't kick me
out of the country for that,
683
00:38:13,930 --> 00:38:15,512
can they?
Jakey's a U.S. citizen.
684
00:38:15,513 --> 00:38:17,970
You see the people in
my waiting room? The kid,
685
00:38:17,971 --> 00:38:22,596
born here. The parents, illegal.
They're deporting the parents!
686
00:38:22,679 --> 00:38:26,970
Oh, yeah, it's Game seven...
win or go home time.
687
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:30,762
All right, look.
You join a recovery program now.
688
00:38:30,763 --> 00:38:32,845
- What? Recovery?
- You do the ten
689
00:38:32,846 --> 00:38:36,094
mandated sessions the court's
gonna give you for the DUI.
690
00:38:36,095 --> 00:38:37,178
Ten? That's gonna take me weeks.
691
00:38:37,179 --> 00:38:39,011
Hell week, baby,
two a days. You get your
692
00:38:39,012 --> 00:38:41,011
ex-wife to your interview
and you get a great job.
693
00:38:41,012 --> 00:38:44,469
You do all that and you
get the ring, baby. Okay?
694
00:38:45,803 --> 00:38:46,927
Yes...
695
00:38:46,928 --> 00:38:48,927
of course.
696
00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:09,384
Usted puta!
697
00:39:23,343 --> 00:39:24,633
Ay!
698
00:39:27,885 --> 00:39:29,216
Oops!
699
00:39:34,384 --> 00:39:36,341
Everything all right?
700
00:39:39,551 --> 00:39:41,632
Yeah. Why?
701
00:39:41,633 --> 00:39:43,674
Want to borrow my car?
702
00:39:44,009 --> 00:39:46,549
Okay, if
you're not using it.
703
00:40:00,383 --> 00:40:02,299
That's good!
That's good! That's good!
704
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,090
Oops!
705
00:40:03,091 --> 00:40:04,548
It's okay.
706
00:40:10,507 --> 00:40:12,506
Wait! Wait! Wait!
707
00:40:12,507 --> 00:40:12,840
What?
708
00:40:12,841 --> 00:40:16,131
Did Kate tell you about
the one-way system at pick-up?
709
00:40:16,132 --> 00:40:17,089
Uh-huh.
710
00:40:17,090 --> 00:40:20,256
No, I didn't think so.
It's okay.
711
00:40:20,757 --> 00:40:22,964
All right, Toots, step on it!
712
00:40:23,381 --> 00:40:24,964
Oh, boy.
713
00:40:26,173 --> 00:40:27,338
Stop sign! Stop Sign!
714
00:40:27,339 --> 00:40:28,881
Car! Car!
715
00:40:28,882 --> 00:40:30,088
Agh, Jeez!
716
00:40:30,089 --> 00:40:33,213
Where the hell did you
learn how to drive?
717
00:40:33,214 --> 00:40:34,047
Mexico.
718
00:40:34,048 --> 00:40:36,713
Can you please get that?
719
00:40:36,714 --> 00:40:38,505
Where's my phone?
Where's my phone?
720
00:40:38,506 --> 00:40:41,796
I'm waiting for a very--
- Sorry, it's down here.
721
00:40:44,547 --> 00:40:45,047
Hello?
722
00:40:45,048 --> 00:40:47,296
Olivia,
I have Tim Prince from Creative
723
00:40:47,297 --> 00:40:48,921
Management Lit for you.
724
00:40:48,922 --> 00:40:49,337
Okay.
725
00:40:49,338 --> 00:40:51,337
Can't he dial
a phone by himself?
726
00:40:51,338 --> 00:40:51,713
Ssh!
727
00:40:51,714 --> 00:40:52,962
Hey, babes!
728
00:40:52,963 --> 00:40:53,379
Hi!
729
00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:56,587
Yeah, oh, listen,
so sorry about Allen. Awful.
730
00:40:56,588 --> 00:40:57,754
Thanks, Tim. Thank you.
731
00:40:57,755 --> 00:41:00,212
I caught my ex-wife in
Downward Dog with my tantric
732
00:41:00,213 --> 00:41:03,962
teacher coming out of her
Central Eye. Do you feel so--
733
00:41:03,963 --> 00:41:04,837
Angry!
734
00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:06,004
Who the
hell is this guy?
735
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:08,670
Okay, listen, babes, if
anyone can go from editor to
736
00:41:08,671 --> 00:41:11,961
author, it's you, and I mean
that. Now I got your sample
737
00:41:11,962 --> 00:41:14,128
chapter. Give me a day or
two to look it over.
738
00:41:14,129 --> 00:41:16,669
- Of course.
- I'll be gentle, I promise.
739
00:41:16,670 --> 00:41:17,669
Who says
I like it gentle?
740
00:41:17,670 --> 00:41:21,170
That's my girl. Okay,
gotta jump. Bye, babes.
741
00:41:21,171 --> 00:41:22,627
Bye!
742
00:41:23,837 --> 00:41:25,627
Fascinating exchange.
743
00:41:25,628 --> 00:41:28,252
How can men move
on so quickly?
744
00:41:28,253 --> 00:41:28,669
What?
745
00:41:28,670 --> 00:41:29,794
Just like a switch
for you, isn't it?
746
00:41:29,795 --> 00:41:32,669
You flip it off, then you turn
to the next one, you flip that
747
00:41:32,670 --> 00:41:35,252
one on, and when you get tired
of that you just flip another.
748
00:41:35,253 --> 00:41:39,460
Like a pilot in a cockpit,
flip, flip, flip, flip.
749
00:41:39,461 --> 00:41:41,418
What the hell
are you talking about?
750
00:41:41,419 --> 00:41:44,793
Wishful thinking, Richard.
I wish I was like that.
751
00:41:44,794 --> 00:41:47,126
- Eyes on the road!
- 'Do not enter'!
752
00:41:47,127 --> 00:41:48,835
Wrong way! Wrong way!
Left, left, left!
753
00:41:48,836 --> 00:41:51,460
- Oh, relax, relax.
- I am, I am very relaxed.
754
00:41:51,461 --> 00:41:53,709
- You're like an old lady!
- Oohh!
755
00:41:53,710 --> 00:42:00,542
You men, you'd rather just
go out there and have sex,
756
00:42:00,543 --> 00:42:02,542
than work things out.
757
00:42:02,543 --> 00:42:03,917
Yeah. Guilty as charged.
758
00:42:03,918 --> 00:42:07,625
But your hornyness is
nothing but a big mask
759
00:42:07,626 --> 00:42:08,875
for you to hide behind.
760
00:42:08,876 --> 00:42:11,250
And what's wrong
with a big mask? Huh?
761
00:42:11,251 --> 00:42:12,500
- Let me ask you something.
- Yeah.
762
00:42:12,501 --> 00:42:14,833
How can you teach the
Romantics, when you can't
763
00:42:14,834 --> 00:42:16,208
even have a real feeling?
764
00:42:16,209 --> 00:42:19,499
Is irritation a real feeling?
I mean, listen to you flirt
765
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:22,332
on the phone with some
guy who's calling you babes.
766
00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:24,166
- Oh, please.
- Oohing and ahhing.
767
00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:27,666
No, I like it gentle.
Good lord.
768
00:42:27,667 --> 00:42:29,749
Anwar would think you
were having an orgasm.
769
00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:32,166
I do not sound
like that when I--
770
00:42:32,167 --> 00:42:34,665
Anyway, you should
hear some of the
771
00:42:34,666 --> 00:42:37,540
stupid noises you
guys make when you're--
772
00:42:37,541 --> 00:42:40,166
You can't even say the word,
can you? Come on.
773
00:42:40,167 --> 00:42:41,957
What do we sound like?
774
00:42:41,958 --> 00:42:44,373
For example,
you have the bear--
775
00:42:44,374 --> 00:42:45,081
Ah-aa.
776
00:42:51,458 --> 00:42:52,498
- I can see your tonsils.
777
00:42:52,499 --> 00:42:54,831
- Then you have
the sports commentators.
778
00:42:54,832 --> 00:42:55,497
Oh, yeah?
779
00:42:58,540 --> 00:43:00,956
Goooooooal!
780
00:43:01,206 --> 00:43:03,164
What kind of men
have you been with.
781
00:43:03,165 --> 00:43:04,997
And then
there's the quiet one.
782
00:43:09,789 --> 00:43:10,539
You finished?
783
00:43:10,540 --> 00:43:11,372
- No.
- Of course.
784
00:43:11,373 --> 00:43:14,372
And then the worst one, the
worst one is the Tourette's one.
785
00:43:14,373 --> 00:43:16,413
- What?
- You know, shit, fuck!
786
00:43:16,414 --> 00:43:19,830
I love you, fuck me!
Oh, motherfucker, bitch!
787
00:43:19,831 --> 00:43:23,580
I love you.
Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!
788
00:43:23,873 --> 00:43:26,329
Hey, that's
sounded like you, Dad.
789
00:43:26,330 --> 00:43:27,246
Ah.
790
00:43:27,247 --> 00:43:29,704
I heard him once
on the Walkie Talkie.
791
00:43:29,705 --> 00:43:32,495
Mr. Haig,
do you have a minute?
792
00:43:32,496 --> 00:43:36,537
Of course, I do.
Come on, Toots, this way.
793
00:43:36,538 --> 00:43:39,912
This morning, Jake said he
had a question about the rules.
794
00:43:39,913 --> 00:43:45,287
He asked if he was allowed to
use the Special Alphabet.
795
00:43:45,288 --> 00:43:45,786
Oh, boy.
796
00:43:45,787 --> 00:43:46,662
I didn't know what that was.
797
00:43:46,663 --> 00:43:51,995
So we asked if he was
allowed to say the 'A' word.
798
00:43:51,996 --> 00:43:52,453
Oh.
799
00:43:52,454 --> 00:43:55,037
Then he asked,
Can I say bugger? Crap? Dummy?
800
00:43:55,038 --> 00:43:57,953
And when he got to 'F', he said,
Am I allowed to say frick?
801
00:43:57,954 --> 00:44:01,453
Because I know I'm not
allowed to say fuck.
802
00:44:01,454 --> 00:44:03,411
It was at that point,
that I sent him to
803
00:44:03,412 --> 00:44:05,869
the principal's office.
804
00:44:09,287 --> 00:44:12,452
Then what did
you say for 'G'?
805
00:44:12,453 --> 00:44:12,952
Goddamn.
806
00:44:12,953 --> 00:44:17,952
Mr. Haig, how is
Jake adjusting to your new...
807
00:44:18,327 --> 00:44:20,660
living situation?
808
00:44:20,994 --> 00:44:22,660
- No, no.
- No, no, this is not
809
00:44:22,661 --> 00:44:25,368
what it looks like or what it
sounds like. No, no, no, no.
810
00:44:25,369 --> 00:44:27,659
We don't need
to have an explanation.
811
00:44:27,660 --> 00:44:29,201
- I think there's
been a misunderstanding.
812
00:44:29,202 --> 00:44:32,576
I would never--
- You've said enough.
813
00:44:38,452 --> 00:44:40,200
Oh, wonderful!
814
00:44:40,201 --> 00:44:43,451
I'll walk to the curb.
Mind your hands!
815
00:44:43,452 --> 00:44:44,492
What are
you doing here?
816
00:44:44,493 --> 00:44:47,159
What am I doing here?
Um, I'm just gonna get
817
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,325
some delicious productos
Latinos. Hah-hah.
818
00:44:50,326 --> 00:44:54,075
Hah-hah, yeah.
And maybe a manicure?
819
00:44:54,993 --> 00:44:56,324
Or a bikini wax.
820
00:44:56,325 --> 00:44:59,158
Bye! I'll see you later.
You take care.
821
00:44:59,159 --> 00:45:02,366
- Whatever.
- Bye.
822
00:45:05,284 --> 00:45:07,491
We have two
new members today.
823
00:45:07,492 --> 00:45:12,116
We have Cindy and Richard.
So, Cindy, you want to--
824
00:45:13,950 --> 00:45:19,282
Hi, I'm Cindy
and I'm an alcoholic.
825
00:45:21,949 --> 00:45:25,198
Thank you, Cindy.
Uh, Richard?
826
00:45:25,199 --> 00:45:30,198
Hi, I'm Richard,
and I'm not an alcoholic.
827
00:45:30,199 --> 00:45:35,281
I'm English, a country with-- a
few thousand years of history.
828
00:45:35,282 --> 00:45:39,281
And part of that history is the
communal practice of having a
829
00:45:39,282 --> 00:45:39,989
drink in the pub.
830
00:45:39,990 --> 00:45:43,947
Now I know it's not your fault
a few sad, sorry, pilgrims
831
00:45:43,948 --> 00:45:46,780
arrived here and infected
your country with a message of
832
00:45:46,781 --> 00:45:51,780
Puritanical masochism. But it
is your fault you've all taken
833
00:45:51,781 --> 00:45:58,613
it onboard quite so earnestly.
So you chaps go ahead.
834
00:45:59,156 --> 00:46:00,946
Knock yourselves out!
835
00:46:00,947 --> 00:46:03,572
But just know this, the first
thing I intend to do when
836
00:46:03,573 --> 00:46:06,612
this hour is up, is hit
that bar across the street
837
00:46:06,613 --> 00:46:08,654
and have a nice cold one.
838
00:46:08,655 --> 00:46:10,155
Good luck with that!
839
00:46:10,156 --> 00:46:11,988
Thank you, Chad.
840
00:46:19,572 --> 00:46:22,446
How are the Romantics
relevant to you?
841
00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:24,653
Yeah, you know,
the only reason I'm taking
842
00:46:24,654 --> 00:46:26,195
this class is so
I can get my GPA up,
843
00:46:26,196 --> 00:46:29,903
so I can play baseball
at Arizona State, so--
844
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,029
How about you, Stacy,
845
00:46:33,030 --> 00:46:35,986
how are the Romantics
relevant to you? Hm?
846
00:46:35,987 --> 00:46:38,403
They're not.
847
00:46:43,279 --> 00:46:45,569
You have been such a
wonderful audience, I can't
848
00:46:45,570 --> 00:46:47,986
wait to see you all next week,
when I shall be lecturing
849
00:46:47,987 --> 00:46:53,527
naked wearing a sombrero.
It'll be so wonderful!
850
00:46:56,695 --> 00:46:58,527
Fuck me.
851
00:47:00,319 --> 00:47:01,818
Olivia!
852
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:04,360
Hey, babes!
There you are!
853
00:47:04,361 --> 00:47:05,818
Oh, Tim, hi!
854
00:47:05,819 --> 00:47:07,776
How are you, beautiful?
855
00:47:09,819 --> 00:47:13,317
Okay,
about this...
856
00:47:14,985 --> 00:47:16,984
This rocks!
857
00:47:16,985 --> 00:47:17,484
Really?
858
00:47:17,485 --> 00:47:21,109
It is smart, it is funny.
Oh, I love Jenna.
859
00:47:21,110 --> 00:47:21,484
Jane.
860
00:47:21,485 --> 00:47:22,443
You might
wanna change that.
861
00:47:22,444 --> 00:47:24,608
Sex sells, 'Jane' makes
me think of a nun in a wimple.
862
00:47:24,609 --> 00:47:27,316
God, but you're so talented,
you're so beautiful, too,
863
00:47:27,317 --> 00:47:30,692
and trust me, that helps, babes.
I'm gonna take you to the stars.
864
00:47:30,693 --> 00:47:32,108
I am going to take
you to the stars.
865
00:47:32,109 --> 00:47:34,316
All I ask is that these
shoulders be the ones you
866
00:47:34,317 --> 00:47:38,233
stand upon. Watch the silk,
though, huh?
867
00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:43,607
- Hello?
- Richard, listen,
868
00:47:43,608 --> 00:47:45,691
they've assigned
your case for investigation.
869
00:47:45,692 --> 00:47:47,232
Really?
What does that mean?
870
00:47:47,233 --> 00:47:50,274
You're under surveillance
by an undercover federal agent.
871
00:47:50,275 --> 00:47:52,107
- Jesus, fuck!
- Relax.
872
00:47:52,108 --> 00:47:54,607
Sorry. Sorry.
873
00:47:54,608 --> 00:47:57,732
Shit, he's here tonight.
He just flashed his badge.
874
00:47:57,733 --> 00:48:00,107
Don't fumble the ball now!
All that matters is
875
00:48:00,108 --> 00:48:02,773
that you exhibit good
moral character, okay?
876
00:48:02,774 --> 00:48:04,773
Okay, everybody!
Grab a seat!
877
00:48:04,774 --> 00:48:09,356
Okay, so, Chad, I believe
you wanted to start us off?
878
00:48:09,357 --> 00:48:12,481
I'm Chad, and
I am 13 days sober.
879
00:48:12,482 --> 00:48:16,148
Yeah! Way to go,
Chad! Woo-hoo!
880
00:48:16,149 --> 00:48:20,605
All right, so why don't
you tell us how that feels.
881
00:48:20,606 --> 00:48:24,023
Well, you know,
it started by not going--
882
00:48:24,024 --> 00:48:25,480
Uh, Wendy?
Excuse me, Wendy?
883
00:48:25,481 --> 00:48:29,605
Just a moment there, Sorry,
everyone, can I say something?
884
00:48:29,606 --> 00:48:31,605
Sorry, Chad, I didn't mean
to interrupt your moment
885
00:48:31,606 --> 00:48:34,480
of glory there.
Um, my name is Richard.
886
00:48:34,481 --> 00:48:39,147
And I'd like to amend my earlier
comments about the drinking
887
00:48:39,148 --> 00:48:39,771
habits of the English.
888
00:48:39,772 --> 00:48:43,396
I mean, just because the entire
country hits the pub after work,
889
00:48:43,397 --> 00:48:47,187
doesn't mean we can't all be
alcoholics. Because we are.
890
00:48:47,188 --> 00:48:51,396
We are inebriates,
national disgrace.
891
00:48:51,397 --> 00:48:52,021
Um, what else?
892
00:48:52,022 --> 00:48:56,354
Oh, I'm married, very happily
so, oh, and I have a son, a
893
00:48:56,355 --> 00:48:57,854
beautiful, little
son called Jakey.
894
00:48:57,855 --> 00:49:00,979
Born here, in this country, a
country which I love and has
895
00:49:00,980 --> 00:49:02,562
such meaning to my heart.
896
00:49:02,563 --> 00:49:08,478
So, Richard, with all
of that to lose, why would you
897
00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:12,811
get drunk and then get
behind the wheel of a car?
898
00:49:16,812 --> 00:49:20,978
Yep. Well, there you have it.
I'm an alcoholic.
899
00:49:20,979 --> 00:49:24,561
Oop, I'm Richard, alcoholic.
900
00:49:29,061 --> 00:49:32,060
Sorry. Yeah.
901
00:49:32,061 --> 00:49:33,977
Jakey--
Jakey, no, no, no, no.
902
00:49:33,978 --> 00:49:38,019
No, Jakey, just tell
him, just tell him--
903
00:49:38,020 --> 00:49:40,476
tell him just to calm down.
904
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:42,476
Okay, no
more cell phones.
905
00:49:42,477 --> 00:49:47,101
Hey, hey, I'm here,
I'm here, it's okay, it's--
906
00:49:47,102 --> 00:49:48,601
I am so sorry.
907
00:49:48,602 --> 00:49:50,143
It's all right, don't worry,
don't worry.
908
00:49:50,144 --> 00:49:53,976
Ssh. I know, I know.
Come on, Jakey, calm down.
909
00:49:53,977 --> 00:49:56,851
Calm down, just breathe.
There you go.
910
00:49:56,852 --> 00:50:01,225
Breathe, breathe, okay, ssh.
Relax, use your words.
911
00:50:01,226 --> 00:50:03,142
I had a bad dream.
912
00:50:03,143 --> 00:50:08,100
Then I woke up, and Mommy
wasn't here, and you were gone!
913
00:50:08,101 --> 00:50:12,058
Aw. I'm really sorry, okay?
914
00:50:12,435 --> 00:50:14,558
Hey, you know what
we're gonna do?
915
00:50:14,559 --> 00:50:18,683
We're gonna blow that
bad dream away. Okay?
916
00:50:28,475 --> 00:50:31,099
Here let me catch it.
917
00:50:31,683 --> 00:50:33,474
And then--
918
00:50:34,267 --> 00:50:35,432
Pooww!
919
00:50:35,433 --> 00:50:39,057
Look how it's all gone.
Okay. Give us a hug.
920
00:50:39,058 --> 00:50:40,724
All right.
Where's Teddy.
921
00:50:40,725 --> 00:50:43,265
Oops. There he is.
922
00:50:46,433 --> 00:50:50,557
All right, let's go to sleep.
Come on. Say good night.
923
00:50:50,765 --> 00:50:52,639
Good night.
924
00:51:02,765 --> 00:51:06,514
There you go,
my little warrior poet.
925
00:51:06,515 --> 00:51:06,972
Go to sleep.
926
00:51:06,973 --> 00:51:13,264
Dad, you and Mom are never
gonna live together, are you?
927
00:51:14,806 --> 00:51:16,513
No.
928
00:51:16,514 --> 00:51:19,972
I'm sorry, but if you're
ever upset about anything,
929
00:51:19,973 --> 00:51:25,555
anything at all, you go talk
to your mom or talk to me.
930
00:51:25,972 --> 00:51:27,596
Or Brian?
931
00:51:27,597 --> 00:51:32,388
Only if I'm stuck down a
mine and your mom's in a coma.
932
00:51:39,055 --> 00:51:41,303
Oh, my
god, I'm so sorry.
933
00:51:41,304 --> 00:51:45,803
I-- I was completely useless.
934
00:51:45,804 --> 00:51:46,220
It's okay.
935
00:51:46,221 --> 00:51:49,636
I can't even take care
of my little sister's child.
936
00:51:49,637 --> 00:51:51,845
How hard can that be?
Right?
937
00:51:51,846 --> 00:51:55,302
Have you ever felt like
everybody else has gotten their
938
00:51:55,303 --> 00:51:56,636
shit together, but you?
939
00:51:56,637 --> 00:52:01,011
I mean, my little sister
has, even you have.
940
00:52:01,012 --> 00:52:03,594
Huh. Well, I
wouldn't go that far.
941
00:52:03,595 --> 00:52:07,719
Look, it's just a lot different
when it's your own kid.
942
00:52:07,970 --> 00:52:12,094
Well, I wouldn't
know about that, either.
943
00:52:12,095 --> 00:52:15,719
I made some soup.
Would you like some?
944
00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:16,844
It's horrible.
945
00:52:16,845 --> 00:52:19,719
Sure. I love horrible soup.
946
00:52:24,094 --> 00:52:28,218
I know, it's horrible.
I can't even make a soup right.
947
00:52:28,219 --> 00:52:29,926
Oh, boy.
948
00:52:31,385 --> 00:52:33,968
You know, you're
a really good father.
949
00:52:33,969 --> 00:52:35,175
Oh, yeah, sure I am.
950
00:52:35,176 --> 00:52:39,300
Richard, I am giving you a
compliment. Just say thank you.
951
00:52:39,968 --> 00:52:42,342
Thank you, Olivia.
952
00:52:43,301 --> 00:52:46,633
I like it
when you say my name.
953
00:52:46,634 --> 00:52:51,341
You know, it's funny,
most women adore me to begin
954
00:52:51,342 --> 00:52:54,425
with, and then end up hating me.
955
00:52:54,426 --> 00:52:57,091
You, on the other hand,
hated me right off the bat,
956
00:52:57,092 --> 00:52:58,508
but now I think you despise me.
957
00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:01,216
No, I despised
you at the beginning.
958
00:53:01,217 --> 00:53:06,674
Now I just loathe you
a little sometimes.
959
00:53:10,758 --> 00:53:12,174
Wow.
960
00:54:11,089 --> 00:54:17,129
I packed your toothbrush,
your pajamas, and--
961
00:54:18,046 --> 00:54:20,712
Hey, guys!
What's happening?
962
00:54:20,713 --> 00:54:21,295
Where are you going?
963
00:54:21,296 --> 00:54:23,586
My sleepover.
Oh, yeah, the sleepover.
964
00:54:23,587 --> 00:54:26,420
Of course. All right,
well, give us a kiss.
965
00:54:26,421 --> 00:54:29,753
Have a good night.
There you go, soldier.
966
00:54:29,754 --> 00:54:31,586
Thank you so much.
Okay, good night.
967
00:54:31,587 --> 00:54:33,253
Let's go.
- Good night.
968
00:54:33,254 --> 00:54:35,628
Enjoy your night out.
969
00:55:13,043 --> 00:55:14,793
Hello?
970
00:55:16,669 --> 00:55:20,583
Oh, there he is.
What's up, Rich?
971
00:55:21,252 --> 00:55:23,500
Hi, Richard.
972
00:55:25,043 --> 00:55:27,458
Yeah,
great, well done.
973
00:55:27,459 --> 00:55:31,083
Leaving now, yeah.
Sorry about that.
974
00:55:34,376 --> 00:55:35,958
Yeah.
975
00:55:36,626 --> 00:55:39,291
He's a little weird, huh?
976
00:55:39,959 --> 00:55:41,250
Bye!
977
00:55:41,251 --> 00:55:43,582
Hey, I'll be
back for more, huh?
978
00:55:43,583 --> 00:55:46,166
- Bye, babes.
979
00:55:46,167 --> 00:55:48,958
Had to
leave early, did he?
980
00:55:49,042 --> 00:55:52,833
Well, he did stay
until he got the job done.
981
00:55:52,834 --> 00:55:53,791
That was good of him.
982
00:55:53,792 --> 00:55:56,165
Yeah, he's gonna come
back tomorrow and bring a
983
00:55:56,166 --> 00:55:59,165
friend, so we can
all do it together.
984
00:55:59,166 --> 00:55:59,957
The more the merrier.
985
00:55:59,958 --> 00:56:02,332
Oh, for Christ's sake,
we were working and then he
986
00:56:02,333 --> 00:56:06,957
went surfing, you idiot. Now
where is that bottle of wine?
987
00:56:06,958 --> 00:56:09,331
I could use a drink.
988
00:56:11,290 --> 00:56:13,039
Come on up.
989
00:56:23,082 --> 00:56:24,831
Here you go.
990
00:56:25,540 --> 00:56:27,622
Apology accepted.
991
00:56:27,623 --> 00:56:29,580
Oh, good.
992
00:56:29,748 --> 00:56:31,080
To friends.
993
00:56:31,456 --> 00:56:33,247
To friends.
994
00:56:38,039 --> 00:56:40,080
A bit old for
homework, aren't you?
995
00:56:40,081 --> 00:56:43,122
Well, it's never too
late to perfect new ways of
996
00:56:43,123 --> 00:56:45,830
boring one's students.
997
00:56:47,039 --> 00:56:51,621
So, you must be very excited
to have Tim all over you...
998
00:56:51,622 --> 00:56:54,787
so to speak...
about your book.
999
00:56:55,455 --> 00:57:00,996
Well, tonight
he tore me to pieces.
1000
00:57:01,705 --> 00:57:02,204
Ooh.
1001
00:57:02,205 --> 00:57:03,954
It's hard to
be judged by others.
1002
00:57:03,955 --> 00:57:07,787
It's very difficult to stay
true to your own voice,
1003
00:57:07,788 --> 00:57:11,953
when everybody else wants
you to do something else.
1004
00:57:13,371 --> 00:57:15,495
Made me think of Allen.
1005
00:57:15,496 --> 00:57:19,078
All the notes I gave
him through the years.
1006
00:57:19,079 --> 00:57:21,411
It must have tortured him.
1007
00:57:21,412 --> 00:57:24,078
So it's not all bad then.
1008
00:57:25,286 --> 00:57:28,494
I'll be honest. I always
thought he was an arrogant,
1009
00:57:28,495 --> 00:57:32,452
little shit whose books
are vapid and hackneyed.
1010
00:57:32,453 --> 00:57:36,702
And all I could ever think
about when I skim-read them...
1011
00:57:38,203 --> 00:57:39,994
was you.
1012
00:57:40,245 --> 00:57:41,576
Me?
1013
00:57:41,577 --> 00:57:43,077
You.
1014
00:57:43,078 --> 00:57:45,993
Yes, and what
could've been worse:
1015
00:57:45,994 --> 00:57:51,284
being married to him or
editing his schmaltzy drivel?
1016
00:57:53,868 --> 00:57:56,284
They both sucked.
1017
00:57:58,285 --> 00:58:01,200
Do you know who he's screwing?
1018
00:58:01,785 --> 00:58:04,200
My gynecologist!
1019
00:58:04,201 --> 00:58:08,033
My gynecologist!
I mean,
1020
00:58:08,034 --> 00:58:10,534
I actually thought
that he was coming to our
1021
00:58:10,535 --> 00:58:12,367
appointments because he cared!
1022
00:58:12,368 --> 00:58:14,283
But no, he wanted
to see the doctor!
1023
00:58:14,284 --> 00:58:16,449
Maybe you're
better off without him.
1024
00:58:16,450 --> 00:58:21,658
Think about it, you're smart,
you're funny, you're beautiful.
1025
00:58:21,659 --> 00:58:24,949
Terrible driver,
but I'm sure you'll find
1026
00:58:24,950 --> 00:58:27,783
someone to overlook that.
1027
00:58:27,784 --> 00:58:29,782
You're just saying that.
1028
00:58:29,783 --> 00:58:33,657
Well, you are smart,
you are funny
1029
00:58:33,658 --> 00:58:37,199
and you are very,
very beautiful.
1030
00:59:32,655 --> 00:59:34,445
What the
hell happened to my--
1031
00:59:34,446 --> 00:59:36,487
- Oh, shit!
- My nuts! Ow!
1032
00:59:36,488 --> 00:59:37,320
Oh, my god! No!
1033
00:59:37,321 --> 00:59:38,696
They said they weren't
coming back until tonight.
1034
00:59:38,697 --> 00:59:40,821
It's a good thing
it's a military vehicle.
1035
00:59:40,822 --> 00:59:42,779
- Oh, my god!
- This is crazy.
1036
00:59:42,780 --> 00:59:46,736
Okay, I gotta go to the
house. Back to the house.
1037
00:59:50,821 --> 00:59:53,112
Buenos dias, Pedro!
1038
00:59:53,113 --> 00:59:55,403
Buenos dias, senora.
1039
00:59:58,112 --> 01:00:00,236
Do you have
the keys, sweetie?
1040
01:00:00,237 --> 01:00:03,902
Oh, you know what? I think
I left my phone in the car.
1041
01:00:15,778 --> 01:00:17,110
Hi.
1042
01:00:17,111 --> 01:00:17,735
You're naked.
1043
01:00:17,736 --> 01:00:19,276
If you're wondering
where Jake is,
1044
01:00:19,277 --> 01:00:21,402
he's at a sleepover with Josh.
1045
01:00:21,403 --> 01:00:22,276
Why are you naked?
1046
01:00:22,277 --> 01:00:24,276
Ssh, Richard's
sleeping in his house.
1047
01:00:24,277 --> 01:00:28,110
I'm just gonna go and
swim a little bit more.
1048
01:00:30,443 --> 01:00:32,693
Hey, how's
the lecture coming?
1049
01:00:32,694 --> 01:00:36,484
I've passed kidney
stones with greater ease.
1050
01:00:36,485 --> 01:00:41,609
Well, don't over think it,
just be honest, pithy, simple.
1051
01:00:42,026 --> 01:00:44,192
You know something?
I think you're the first
1052
01:00:44,193 --> 01:00:46,442
woman I've ever
really been friends with.
1053
01:00:46,443 --> 01:00:49,733
Well, that's a little sad,
Richard, but very touching.
1054
01:00:49,734 --> 01:00:54,233
What brought about the
sudden onset of sincerity?
1055
01:00:55,943 --> 01:00:59,775
I slept with someone and-
1056
01:01:00,734 --> 01:01:03,732
it actually meant something.
1057
01:01:03,817 --> 01:01:06,691
Well, that's great.
Who?
1058
01:01:06,692 --> 01:01:07,899
Olivia.
1059
01:01:08,942 --> 01:01:10,274
Are you kidding?
1060
01:01:10,275 --> 01:01:13,232
Richard, why don't you go down
to your green card appointment,
1061
01:01:13,233 --> 01:01:16,190
take out your samurai sword
and disembowel yourself?
1062
01:01:16,191 --> 01:01:20,107
What is wrong with you?
Are you trying to get deported?
1063
01:01:20,108 --> 01:01:21,482
I mean, Kate is gonna kill you!
1064
01:01:21,483 --> 01:01:22,940
Well, Kate's not
gonna know about it, is she?
1065
01:01:22,941 --> 01:01:25,273
I mean, I'm not gonna tell her,
and Olivia's not gonna tell her.
1066
01:01:25,274 --> 01:01:28,773
They are sisters, Richard!
Close sisters!
1067
01:01:28,774 --> 01:01:30,898
And close sisters talk.
1068
01:01:33,108 --> 01:01:34,065
I gotta get over there!
1069
01:01:34,066 --> 01:01:37,356
- You better move!
- I'm going!
1070
01:01:46,648 --> 01:01:47,981
Oh, god!
1071
01:01:47,982 --> 01:01:50,064
Oh, god! Oh, god!
1072
01:01:56,272 --> 01:01:59,647
Kate, hi, how's everything?
Good?
1073
01:01:59,648 --> 01:02:01,480
Olivia told
me everything.
1074
01:02:01,481 --> 01:02:03,063
Oh, she did?
1075
01:02:03,064 --> 01:02:06,896
I think it's awesome
that she's started writing.
1076
01:02:07,647 --> 01:02:11,229
And she said you were really
nice to her when I was away.
1077
01:02:11,230 --> 01:02:13,062
Oh, wonderful.
1078
01:02:13,063 --> 01:02:17,688
You know, I know I've been
kind of a bitch to you lately.
1079
01:02:17,689 --> 01:02:18,354
Oh, that's okay.
1080
01:02:18,355 --> 01:02:20,687
And threatening not to come
to your green card meeting
1081
01:02:20,688 --> 01:02:22,645
was totally out of line.
I'm sorry.
1082
01:02:22,646 --> 01:02:26,187
Yeah, live and let live,
forgive and forget, all of that.
1083
01:02:26,188 --> 01:02:29,145
- We're cool?
- We are so cool.
1084
01:02:29,146 --> 01:02:30,145
Okay.
1085
01:02:30,146 --> 01:02:31,895
Do you want to
get me some lemonade?
1086
01:02:31,896 --> 01:02:33,311
- Good idea.
- Thanks.
1087
01:02:33,312 --> 01:02:35,311
Okay, great.
1088
01:02:37,895 --> 01:02:40,269
Oh, god, where is she?
1089
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,394
You smoke?
1090
01:02:51,687 --> 01:02:54,602
I can't stop
thinking about last night.
1091
01:02:54,603 --> 01:02:56,352
Nor can I.
1092
01:02:57,936 --> 01:02:58,644
We have to tell her.
1093
01:02:58,645 --> 01:03:01,102
No, no, no.
This is not the time. Olivia!
1094
01:03:01,103 --> 01:03:03,227
The cigarette's gone to your
head. Get back in the bushes.
1095
01:03:03,228 --> 01:03:07,726
Dad? There's a funny, old
man here that wants to see you.
1096
01:03:07,727 --> 01:03:09,351
- What?
1097
01:03:10,019 --> 01:03:11,810
Dad! What are you doing here?
1098
01:03:11,811 --> 01:03:16,393
Why in buggering hell have
you been ignoring my calls?
1099
01:03:16,394 --> 01:03:16,850
Well--
1100
01:03:16,851 --> 01:03:20,934
Oh... hello.
This must be the young totty.
1101
01:03:20,935 --> 01:03:23,684
Kate, my father.
1102
01:03:23,768 --> 01:03:25,892
Oh, my goodness, Mr. Haig!
1103
01:03:25,893 --> 01:03:27,850
It's so nice to meet you.
1104
01:03:27,851 --> 01:03:30,767
Wow! Oh, sorry,
I'm soaking wet.
1105
01:03:30,768 --> 01:03:31,975
I need a shower anyway.
1106
01:03:31,976 --> 01:03:35,933
Oh, and who is this other
vision of loveliness?
1107
01:03:35,934 --> 01:03:39,308
I'm Olivia.
I'm Kate's sister.
1108
01:03:39,309 --> 01:03:41,641
Sis-- Blimey...
bookends.
1109
01:03:41,642 --> 01:03:44,599
Well, come inside,
I'll make you up a room.
1110
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:47,432
No, no, no, it's okay, Dad, come
with me. Come to the guesthouse.
1111
01:03:47,433 --> 01:03:49,391
- Are you sure?
- No, that's okay, Kate.
1112
01:03:49,392 --> 01:03:50,057
- I think I'd rather go--
1113
01:03:50,058 --> 01:03:51,474
Dad, come with me!
You're staying with me!
1114
01:03:51,475 --> 01:03:53,766
- Are you sure?
- I promise you, all is good.
1115
01:03:53,767 --> 01:03:55,723
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too, and--
1116
01:03:55,724 --> 01:03:57,224
Why exactly are you here?
1117
01:03:57,225 --> 01:04:01,099
I'm visiting you and
the little turd-- fellow.
1118
01:04:01,100 --> 01:04:02,974
What's it bloody look like?
1119
01:04:02,975 --> 01:04:05,723
Well, I don't really know.
1120
01:04:05,724 --> 01:04:08,890
I mean, Jake, meet
your grandfather.
1121
01:04:08,891 --> 01:04:13,056
Yeah I'm your granddad. I've got
something for you that I brought
1122
01:04:13,057 --> 01:04:15,764
all the way from England.
Would you like to see it?
1123
01:04:15,765 --> 01:04:20,348
Now that is a model
of H.M.S. Defiance.
1124
01:04:20,349 --> 01:04:20,806
Wow.
1125
01:04:20,807 --> 01:04:22,681
God, Dad, you never
let me used to touch that.
1126
01:04:22,682 --> 01:04:24,764
- Well--
- Okay, I'll be right back.
1127
01:04:24,765 --> 01:04:28,014
Well, hey! Wait a minute,
where you going? You can't bear
1128
01:04:28,015 --> 01:04:31,013
to be in the same room with
me for two minutes, is that it?
1129
01:04:31,014 --> 01:04:33,055
No, that's
not it, Dad, not at all.
1130
01:04:33,056 --> 01:04:33,763
Can I keep it?
1131
01:04:33,764 --> 01:04:36,721
Of course, you can
bloody keep it, it's yours.
1132
01:04:36,722 --> 01:04:41,138
But don't put it in the
bath, because it'll sink.
1133
01:04:43,555 --> 01:04:45,972
- Look what I found!
- Way cool!
1134
01:04:45,973 --> 01:04:47,346
Where shall we put it? Here?
1135
01:04:47,347 --> 01:04:50,596
- On the top.
- Yes, on the top.
1136
01:04:51,764 --> 01:04:53,262
Hello, my lovelies.
1137
01:04:53,263 --> 01:04:58,012
All I'm asking is, can you wait
until Monday morning at 11:00?
1138
01:04:58,763 --> 01:04:59,887
Why?
1139
01:04:59,888 --> 01:05:02,470
My green
card interview...
1140
01:05:03,513 --> 01:05:06,095
and then after that,
1141
01:05:06,096 --> 01:05:09,720
you can tell her
what you like, okay?
1142
01:05:28,845 --> 01:05:32,677
Dad, I need to go pee.
1143
01:05:32,678 --> 01:05:34,260
Come on then.
1144
01:05:34,261 --> 01:05:37,094
Hey! Where the bloody
hell are you two going?
1145
01:05:37,095 --> 01:05:39,260
- Come on, hey, Jake!
- Gotta go for a pee, Dad.
1146
01:05:39,261 --> 01:05:41,927
Hey, Jake, whip
it out, come on!
1147
01:05:41,928 --> 01:05:43,593
Dad, you can't
pee off the pier.
1148
01:05:43,594 --> 01:05:45,843
Jake, who are you gonna
listen to? Your dad, who
1149
01:05:45,844 --> 01:05:49,760
for some buggering reason has
turned into a boring old fart?
1150
01:05:49,761 --> 01:05:52,676
Or your grandfather,
who's lived a rich and full
1151
01:05:52,677 --> 01:05:56,592
life and doesn't take
shite from anybody?
1152
01:05:58,426 --> 01:06:00,093
You.
Sorry, Dad.
1153
01:06:00,094 --> 01:06:03,717
- There you go. Come on up here,
there you go, up you go.
1154
01:06:03,718 --> 01:06:09,425
Wait. Come on, you, too!
If you're still my son, that is.
1155
01:06:09,759 --> 01:06:11,467
All right, on three.
1156
01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:16,424
One, two, three,
there that's it.
1157
01:06:21,926 --> 01:06:26,383
Well, somebody had their
vitamins this morning. Huh?
1158
01:06:27,925 --> 01:06:31,091
You know, there are
coconuts over there?
1159
01:06:31,092 --> 01:06:34,091
Great isn't it?
There you go.
1160
01:06:34,092 --> 01:06:37,091
- Beautiful.
- Oh, dear.
1161
01:06:37,092 --> 01:06:38,174
All right, all right, all right.
1162
01:06:38,175 --> 01:06:42,632
That's good stuff. I'll
put on some tunes, huh, guys?
1163
01:06:42,633 --> 01:06:46,048
Aw, look at this.
This is paradise, man.
1164
01:06:46,049 --> 01:06:47,173
You've ended up in paradise.
1165
01:06:47,174 --> 01:06:51,382
You know, they must be freezing
their bollocks off in England.
1166
01:06:54,091 --> 01:06:56,839
Why are you really here?
1167
01:07:02,340 --> 01:07:06,797
Well, Joan
left me, silly cow.
1168
01:07:08,548 --> 01:07:11,422
Well, I'm sorry.
1169
01:07:11,423 --> 01:07:12,255
Truly.
1170
01:07:12,256 --> 01:07:17,755
Oh, well, well that
makes me feel so much better.
1171
01:07:17,756 --> 01:07:20,546
I mean, God almighty,
thank you for those
1172
01:07:20,547 --> 01:07:23,088
profound words of sympathy.
1173
01:07:23,089 --> 01:07:24,797
Well, it's a
lot more than you
1174
01:07:24,798 --> 01:07:26,213
ever said when Kate left me.
1175
01:07:26,214 --> 01:07:27,921
Well, I warned
you about her.
1176
01:07:27,922 --> 01:07:31,712
She was a rampant,
little Yankee trollop.
1177
01:07:31,713 --> 01:07:35,004
You know what, Dad?
Of course, Joan left you.
1178
01:07:35,005 --> 01:07:37,504
You're a misanthropic,
misogynistic arsehole who
1179
01:07:37,505 --> 01:07:40,045
doesn't give a fuck about
anybody, least of all the poor
1180
01:07:40,046 --> 01:07:43,629
saps who you got to marry
you in the first place.
1181
01:07:43,630 --> 01:07:47,337
Is that it?
Is that all you've got?
1182
01:07:47,338 --> 01:07:50,253
And you did it all in the name
of some misguided credo called
1183
01:07:50,254 --> 01:07:54,503
'fun', which you brainwashed
me with in the first place.
1184
01:07:54,504 --> 01:07:57,127
Guys, dig this song?
1185
01:07:57,128 --> 01:07:59,294
Bugger off!
1186
01:08:01,212 --> 01:08:03,294
That's it then,
is it, Boy Wonder?
1187
01:08:03,295 --> 01:08:07,877
So you finally got it
off your chest, have you?
1188
01:08:07,878 --> 01:08:10,127
You know what, Dad?
1189
01:08:10,212 --> 01:08:13,669
Why don't you just
bugger off for once.
1190
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:14,669
For once.
1191
01:08:14,670 --> 01:08:19,043
Why don't you be
the one to bugger off.
1192
01:08:48,501 --> 01:08:51,416
Brian, go back to my wife.
1193
01:08:51,626 --> 01:08:53,167
Go on.
1194
01:08:53,834 --> 01:08:54,750
Go on.
1195
01:08:54,751 --> 01:08:56,833
Just-- just go back.
1196
01:08:56,834 --> 01:08:58,833
Thank you for
that wonderful sharing.
1197
01:08:58,834 --> 01:09:03,874
Seriously, this has been
absolutely a marvelous session.
1198
01:09:03,875 --> 01:09:04,541
I've learned so much.
1199
01:09:04,542 --> 01:09:06,540
Give yourselves a
big hand, everybody.
1200
01:09:07,125 --> 01:09:09,291
Wendy, I was wondering
if you could sign my form to
1201
01:09:09,292 --> 01:09:12,540
show that I've done
the ten sessions?
1202
01:09:14,124 --> 01:09:17,082
I'm sorry,
Richard, I can't.
1203
01:09:17,291 --> 01:09:22,624
Why? I mean, I came, I did
the whole 'I'm an alcoholic'.
1204
01:09:22,625 --> 01:09:26,040
But it's not about
just saying the words,
1205
01:09:26,041 --> 01:09:29,873
you have to actually mean them.
1206
01:09:37,207 --> 01:09:39,414
Ay-yay-yay.
1207
01:09:40,332 --> 01:09:42,414
Cindy, right?
1208
01:09:42,415 --> 01:09:44,414
I just spent the last week
listening to that drivel,
1209
01:09:44,415 --> 01:09:46,789
so some witless, little
ninny will sign a piece of
1210
01:09:46,790 --> 01:09:51,039
paper to say I'm an okay kind
of guy! Absolute bollocks.
1211
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,288
Sorry. Excuse me.
1212
01:09:53,373 --> 01:09:54,664
Hey, you wanna get a drink?
1213
01:09:54,665 --> 01:09:58,829
Actually, maybe not, I've got
a grueling lecture in an hour.
1214
01:09:58,914 --> 01:09:59,996
How about a joint?
1215
01:09:59,997 --> 01:10:03,372
Just kidding. Bad joke.
I didn't want my son to find it.
1216
01:10:03,373 --> 01:10:06,205
I don't touch the
stuff, it's my dad's.
1217
01:10:06,455 --> 01:10:08,329
He likes to puff.
1218
01:10:08,413 --> 01:10:08,829
Okay.
1219
01:10:08,830 --> 01:10:11,412
Good luck
with your lecture.
1220
01:10:11,413 --> 01:10:12,955
Thank you.
1221
01:10:19,913 --> 01:10:23,954
I want you all to imagine
you're at Cambridge University.
1222
01:10:23,955 --> 01:10:25,287
The year is 1807.
1223
01:10:25,288 --> 01:10:28,787
You walk across the quad of
Trinity College into the lecture
1224
01:10:28,788 --> 01:10:31,912
hall where you find your
fellow classmate, Lord Byron.
1225
01:10:31,913 --> 01:10:37,786
Who in defiance of college
rules about dogs has brought
1226
01:10:37,787 --> 01:10:41,078
a bear to class instead.
1227
01:10:55,703 --> 01:10:57,826
You know what?
1228
01:10:58,662 --> 01:10:59,910
Forget about that.
1229
01:10:59,911 --> 01:11:03,993
Why are the Romantics
relevant today?
1230
01:11:03,994 --> 01:11:05,534
Hm?
1231
01:11:07,410 --> 01:11:10,451
Honestly, they're not.
1232
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:14,534
Stacy got it right.
1233
01:11:14,535 --> 01:11:17,534
And Dwight, he can't stop
thinking about home runs and
1234
01:11:17,535 --> 01:11:21,784
fastballs when he reads
Byron and Coleridge.
1235
01:11:25,910 --> 01:11:27,575
Because--
1236
01:11:27,743 --> 01:11:30,283
We're teaching words.
1237
01:11:31,159 --> 01:11:35,908
Words, but we're not
teaching meaning.
1238
01:11:37,242 --> 01:11:39,908
I've got it all wrong.
1239
01:11:39,909 --> 01:11:42,241
I can tell you about
Byron and his bear,
1240
01:11:42,242 --> 01:11:44,574
Wordsworth falling
in love with his cousin.
1241
01:11:44,575 --> 01:11:47,783
Coleridge falling in
love with cocaine.
1242
01:11:47,784 --> 01:11:50,949
I can tell you what's
behind the words from them,
1243
01:11:50,950 --> 01:11:54,949
but I can't tell you what's
behind those words for you.
1244
01:11:55,241 --> 01:11:59,407
Because this
class is about you,
1245
01:11:59,408 --> 01:12:02,406
learning to
find your own meaning,
1246
01:12:02,908 --> 01:12:05,448
your own voices.
1247
01:12:07,366 --> 01:12:11,198
Go read the poems, but know
this, that at this moment,
1248
01:12:11,199 --> 01:12:16,490
you are the Romantics, you
are the relevant ones.
1249
01:12:16,491 --> 01:12:19,739
Let Byron, Coleridge,
Wordsworth inspire you
1250
01:12:19,740 --> 01:12:22,864
to do your thing,
to go your own way.
1251
01:12:22,865 --> 01:12:25,864
Stacy, quit texting.
Call him, right now.
1252
01:12:25,865 --> 01:12:30,238
Dwight, go play ball. Ignore
anyone who says no, you can't.
1253
01:12:30,239 --> 01:12:34,030
Follow your hearts,
do good things, be bold,
1254
01:12:34,031 --> 01:12:38,238
and above all else,
stick it to the man.
1255
01:12:40,822 --> 01:12:44,571
Well, Dad, I totally fucked
up my audition in that job.
1256
01:12:44,572 --> 01:12:46,237
I stuck it to them, all right.
1257
01:12:46,238 --> 01:12:48,529
I stuck it to myself
in the process, too.
1258
01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:51,738
Hey, listen, you silly old sod,
you just bolted before I could
1259
01:12:51,739 --> 01:12:56,071
apologize. Why are you
so thin-skinned these days?
1260
01:12:56,072 --> 01:12:59,695
All right, call me back.
1261
01:13:13,779 --> 01:13:17,403
Four Thousand Dollars
should cover it.
1262
01:13:17,404 --> 01:13:18,362
What?
1263
01:13:18,363 --> 01:13:21,070
Your Mustang, Richard,
it's got sienna red paint
1264
01:13:21,071 --> 01:13:24,611
there all on the back fender.
Unmistakable.
1265
01:13:24,612 --> 01:13:28,902
1954 MG TFs do not
come cheap, my friend.
1266
01:13:28,903 --> 01:13:31,693
Absolutely not.
Can I give you a check?
1267
01:13:31,694 --> 01:13:33,860
I'd prefer cash.
1268
01:13:36,362 --> 01:13:39,568
I want to be the first to
congratulate you. Welcome to
1269
01:13:39,569 --> 01:13:43,069
the English department of the
University of Los Angeles.
1270
01:13:43,070 --> 01:13:44,902
Yes!
1271
01:13:45,611 --> 01:13:46,901
Oh, good!
1272
01:13:46,902 --> 01:13:47,818
Thank you, boss.
1273
01:13:47,819 --> 01:13:50,068
Might as well do the
other side as well.
1274
01:13:50,069 --> 01:13:51,443
Let's go have a pint.
1275
01:13:51,444 --> 01:13:53,692
A pint of what? Oil?
1276
01:13:54,152 --> 01:13:57,276
Hardy-har, I'll always
laugh at your jokes.
1277
01:14:03,985 --> 01:14:05,942
Hey! I got the job!
1278
01:14:05,943 --> 01:14:09,733
ULA! Knock it out of
the ballpark. Home run.
1279
01:14:09,734 --> 01:14:10,775
Congratulations!
1280
01:14:10,776 --> 01:14:13,233
I feel fantastic!
And I feel fantastic about you.
1281
01:14:13,234 --> 01:14:16,691
Now what we did, making love--
no, listen, please, hear me out.
1282
01:14:16,692 --> 01:14:19,192
Kate and I have been
separated for two years!
1283
01:14:19,193 --> 01:14:21,566
Why should we feel bad?
We're grown-ups!
1284
01:14:21,567 --> 01:14:24,858
And if Kate doesn't like it,
she can bloody well just go--
1285
01:14:24,859 --> 01:14:29,941
hey, you! Ah, Brian,
okay, okay, in the vault.
1286
01:14:32,108 --> 01:14:34,107
Ah, Kate.
1287
01:14:36,317 --> 01:14:38,398
Olivia-
1288
01:14:39,232 --> 01:14:41,482
my best friend-
1289
01:14:42,066 --> 01:14:44,565
total trust-
1290
01:14:44,566 --> 01:14:46,898
No secrets!
1291
01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:47,731
We-- we we're gonna--
1292
01:14:47,732 --> 01:14:50,898
You know what?
If you want him, take him,
1293
01:14:50,899 --> 01:14:53,564
but get out of my house!
1294
01:14:53,690 --> 01:14:56,898
Well, now, maybe-- okay.
1295
01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:32,896
Thank you.
1296
01:15:33,563 --> 01:15:36,021
Ernesto, sorry I'm late.
1297
01:15:36,147 --> 01:15:37,187
Where's your wife?
1298
01:15:37,188 --> 01:15:40,354
Not coming.
She sends her regards.
1299
01:15:41,688 --> 01:15:43,978
Okay, strike one,
she's not here.
1300
01:15:43,979 --> 01:15:46,520
Strike two, you failed
the recovery program.
1301
01:15:46,521 --> 01:15:50,270
We may be 0 and 2, but we're
gonna swing for the fences on
1302
01:15:50,271 --> 01:15:51,811
the University of Los Angeles.
1303
01:15:51,812 --> 01:15:53,978
- Morning, Officer Lewis.
- Why has it taken
1304
01:15:53,979 --> 01:15:56,145
nearly three years to
schedule this interview?
1305
01:15:56,146 --> 01:15:58,728
Well, my client never
received all of the
1306
01:15:58,729 --> 01:16:01,061
notifications from ICE.
1307
01:16:01,395 --> 01:16:03,852
Is this your
handwriting, Mr. Haig?
1308
01:16:03,853 --> 01:16:08,102
Some of it is,
some of it's also my son's...
1309
01:16:08,228 --> 01:16:10,727
working on his cursive.
1310
01:16:10,728 --> 01:16:12,936
Can you explain this?
1311
01:16:13,145 --> 01:16:14,810
Yes, well,
that's not my fault.
1312
01:16:14,811 --> 01:16:16,226
Pain killers, dental surgery.
1313
01:16:16,227 --> 01:16:19,060
My client's done ten
sessions of a recovery program
1314
01:16:19,061 --> 01:16:20,060
to show his good character.
1315
01:16:20,061 --> 01:16:21,644
Where's the
letter of completion?
1316
01:16:21,645 --> 01:16:23,976
In the mail with
bue-locks written on it?
1317
01:16:23,977 --> 01:16:27,226
It's
bullocks, actually.
1318
01:16:27,227 --> 01:16:29,517
Officer Armstrong?
1319
01:16:34,393 --> 01:16:39,851
Please describe how Mr. Haig
tried to offer you marijuana.
1320
01:16:41,018 --> 01:16:44,850
The other night, as I
was leaving the recovery center,
1321
01:16:44,851 --> 01:16:48,892
Mr. Haig asked me if I
wanted some marijuana.
1322
01:16:48,893 --> 01:16:51,767
- Oh, pfft.
- Under California law,
1323
01:16:51,768 --> 01:16:55,892
distribution of
marijuana is a felony.
1324
01:16:55,893 --> 01:16:57,266
That's true.
1325
01:16:57,267 --> 01:17:01,141
What is it you say,
Mr. Haig? Cheerios?
1326
01:17:01,142 --> 01:17:04,224
There you have it,
the whole sorry saga.
1327
01:17:04,225 --> 01:17:09,724
Ernesto did do one thing to
justify his exorbitant fee.
1328
01:17:10,642 --> 01:17:13,849
He got me this
one hour with you.
1329
01:17:13,975 --> 01:17:17,223
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, Jake.
1330
01:17:17,224 --> 01:17:18,265
Time's up.
1331
01:17:18,266 --> 01:17:22,723
Jake, please,
I really am so sorry.
1332
01:17:25,682 --> 01:17:29,598
I love you, do you hear me?
I am so sorry.
1333
01:18:11,597 --> 01:18:15,220
That is no country for old men.
1334
01:18:16,513 --> 01:18:22,471
The young in one another's
arms, birds in the trees.
1335
01:18:22,888 --> 01:18:27,012
Those dying generations
at their song.
1336
01:18:27,304 --> 01:18:29,386
So what's Yeats saying here?
1337
01:18:29,387 --> 01:18:33,094
He's a 60-year-old man looking
at young people, screwing and
1338
01:18:33,095 --> 01:18:37,720
living, blissfully unthinking
about their own mortality.
1339
01:18:37,721 --> 01:18:40,553
Yeats knows he's
just an aged man,
1340
01:18:40,554 --> 01:18:45,844
but his dreams are of Byzantium.
1341
01:18:53,136 --> 01:18:53,636
Hello?
1342
01:18:53,637 --> 01:18:54,636
This is Memorial General,
1343
01:18:54,637 --> 01:18:57,594
we need to talk to you
about your father.
1344
01:19:32,176 --> 01:19:36,342
What the buggering hell
are you doing here?
1345
01:19:36,468 --> 01:19:38,674
You hate hospitals.
1346
01:19:38,675 --> 01:19:44,175
I do, I hate
bloody hospitals.
1347
01:19:44,176 --> 01:19:46,883
But I love the nurses.
1348
01:19:52,883 --> 01:19:55,757
How's my little Jake?
1349
01:19:58,425 --> 01:20:00,757
He's all right, Dad.
1350
01:20:02,424 --> 01:20:04,465
You know I--
1351
01:20:04,925 --> 01:20:08,965
I don't think I could
have done what you did.
1352
01:20:09,716 --> 01:20:14,673
You stuck with that boy through
all the muck and bullocks.
1353
01:20:17,590 --> 01:20:21,589
You're a better
man than I, Gunga Din.
1354
01:20:26,214 --> 01:20:29,213
I don't know
about that, Dad.
1355
01:20:29,214 --> 01:20:33,796
Are you still shagging the
Yank totty's sister, are we?
1356
01:20:33,797 --> 01:20:36,380
No, I blew that one.
1357
01:20:37,714 --> 01:20:41,130
Threw away a
pearl beyond price.
1358
01:20:41,131 --> 01:20:46,796
And totty, and totty's sister,
none of us are talking.
1359
01:20:47,631 --> 01:20:49,879
It's all a big mess.
1360
01:20:55,671 --> 01:21:00,712
Marvelous bloody place, they're
livin', eh? California eh?
1361
01:21:00,713 --> 01:21:02,171
Mm-hm.
1362
01:21:02,922 --> 01:21:06,545
Sunshine, beaches and girls.
1363
01:21:09,087 --> 01:21:10,712
Marijuana.
1364
01:21:10,713 --> 01:21:15,378
God, how the buggerin hell did
I miss out on that for so long?
1365
01:21:15,545 --> 01:21:17,211
You came.
1366
01:21:18,046 --> 01:21:20,377
You saw it once.
1367
01:21:22,962 --> 01:21:25,711
It all goes so fast.
1368
01:21:27,420 --> 01:21:31,669
These buggers here, they
don't think I've got long.
1369
01:21:34,337 --> 01:21:38,543
Well, it's all a
load of bullocks, really.
1370
01:21:39,003 --> 01:21:40,293
What is?
1371
01:21:40,669 --> 01:21:45,877
You know, there's nothing
honorable in misery, Richard.
1372
01:21:47,210 --> 01:21:49,585
Carpe diem!
1373
01:21:50,127 --> 01:21:52,834
Boff and be merry!
1374
01:21:53,252 --> 01:21:57,001
Now listen...
you listen to me carefully.
1375
01:21:57,877 --> 01:21:59,334
This might be the most-
1376
01:21:59,335 --> 01:22:03,542
important bit of
advice I'll ever give you.
1377
01:22:08,335 --> 01:22:13,417
For God's sake, man,
go and get your bloody girl.
1378
01:22:13,959 --> 01:22:15,541
Go on.
1379
01:22:16,209 --> 01:22:18,416
Bugger off.
1380
01:22:30,542 --> 01:22:32,333
Hey, Richard...
1381
01:22:34,708 --> 01:22:37,498
You remember my epitaph.
1382
01:22:38,875 --> 01:22:41,498
Of course I do, Dad.
1383
01:22:42,333 --> 01:22:44,832
Of course I do.
1384
01:23:45,746 --> 01:23:49,412
Byzantium is the
place he longs for.
1385
01:23:49,413 --> 01:23:52,078
He needs to make this journey.
1386
01:23:52,079 --> 01:23:55,202
I'm gonna sort this
all out, I promise you.
1387
01:23:55,203 --> 01:23:57,870
Okay, Jake?
- How?
1388
01:23:59,537 --> 01:24:02,661
I'll Skype you tomorrow, okay?
1389
01:24:10,120 --> 01:24:11,452
Is she talking to Olivia yet?
1390
01:24:11,453 --> 01:24:14,202
Olivia's book launch
is here next week and Kate
1391
01:24:14,203 --> 01:24:17,952
isn't even going. She's
icing everyone out, even me.
1392
01:24:17,953 --> 01:24:20,827
All right,
see you, Brian.
1393
01:24:20,828 --> 01:24:24,076
Yeats knows that
unless he makes this journey,
1394
01:24:24,077 --> 01:24:28,285
unless he defies
logic and authority,
1395
01:24:28,286 --> 01:24:33,160
unless his soul claps
hands and sings out loud...
1396
01:24:35,952 --> 01:24:42,242
He is nothing more than a
tattered coat upon a stick.
1397
01:25:11,408 --> 01:25:13,699
You old bugger.
1398
01:25:16,825 --> 01:25:19,532
There is a country for old men.
1399
01:25:25,408 --> 01:25:30,281
Ernesto? Richard Haig.
Como esta?
1400
01:26:27,654 --> 01:26:29,194
Adios!
1401
01:26:40,653 --> 01:26:41,736
Hey, Dad.
1402
01:26:41,737 --> 01:26:42,485
Hi, Jakey.
1403
01:26:42,486 --> 01:26:45,652
Go to the door and
tell me what you see.
1404
01:26:45,653 --> 01:26:47,527
Okay.
1405
01:26:54,737 --> 01:26:59,027
Oh, look at you, boy.
Oh! Look at you.
1406
01:26:59,403 --> 01:27:01,152
Richie!
1407
01:27:02,944 --> 01:27:07,110
Thank god you're here, dude!
Oh, thank god. Thank god.
1408
01:27:07,111 --> 01:27:10,276
You can let go now,
Brian. That's okay.
1409
01:27:10,903 --> 01:27:14,276
Can you believe it,
Mom? He's really here.
1410
01:27:14,277 --> 01:27:17,484
- Hi, Kate.
- Hey. How did you get here.
1411
01:27:17,485 --> 01:27:19,484
Uh, I just came
across the border.
1412
01:27:19,485 --> 01:27:20,942
It's an old trick of mine.
1413
01:27:20,943 --> 01:27:21,859
What if you get caught?
1414
01:27:21,860 --> 01:27:24,525
I won't, I'll be
gone before they know it.
1415
01:27:24,526 --> 01:27:27,026
Hey, remember my
lawyer, Ernesto?
1416
01:27:27,027 --> 01:27:30,108
He's gonna sort this
whole mess out, okay?
1417
01:27:30,109 --> 01:27:30,567
Yay!
1418
01:27:30,568 --> 01:27:32,734
Don't you worry. Probably
gonna cost me a fortune.
1419
01:27:32,735 --> 01:27:36,609
And look, Kate, we can't
keep going like this.
1420
01:27:36,610 --> 01:27:41,524
Jakey needs his mom and
dad to be adults, right?
1421
01:27:42,151 --> 01:27:43,649
Yeah.
1422
01:27:44,525 --> 01:27:48,190
Look, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry we hurt you.
1423
01:27:48,191 --> 01:27:52,441
Olivia wanted to tell you and
it was my fault she didn't.
1424
01:27:52,734 --> 01:27:54,524
But you're sisters, come on.
1425
01:27:54,525 --> 01:27:56,940
Cut her some slack.
1426
01:27:56,941 --> 01:27:59,690
Life is so short, Kate.
1427
01:27:59,691 --> 01:28:03,065
Like my dad used
to say, carpe diem.
1428
01:28:03,566 --> 01:28:06,565
Let's boff and be merry.
1429
01:28:07,482 --> 01:28:09,481
Ay?
- Okay.
1430
01:28:09,482 --> 01:28:10,189
Great.
1431
01:28:10,190 --> 01:28:14,231
Great.
And one last thing...
1432
01:28:14,524 --> 01:28:17,189
can I take a shower?
Please?
1433
01:28:17,190 --> 01:28:18,064
He really stinks.
1434
01:28:19,523 --> 01:28:21,231
Thank you
everybody for coming.
1435
01:28:21,232 --> 01:28:25,772
I would like to thank
my agent Tim Prince.
1436
01:28:25,773 --> 01:28:32,022
I would also like to thank
my ex-brother-in-law Richard,
1437
01:28:32,023 --> 01:28:34,105
he was the inspiration for the
1438
01:28:34,106 --> 01:28:39,314
burnt-out recovering alcoholic
cop who saves the day.
1439
01:28:40,647 --> 01:28:44,022
Although he doesn't know
it, so let's not tell him.
1440
01:28:44,023 --> 01:28:48,855
And lastly, I would like to
thank somebody very special to
1441
01:28:48,856 --> 01:28:51,770
me who couldn't be here today.
1442
01:28:51,771 --> 01:28:56,146
Which is nobody's
fault but mine.
1443
01:29:39,728 --> 01:29:41,393
Hey.
1444
01:29:45,352 --> 01:29:47,351
I'm so sorry.
1445
01:29:47,352 --> 01:29:50,351
So sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
1446
01:29:50,352 --> 01:29:53,476
Let's never fight again, okay?
1447
01:29:54,394 --> 01:29:56,392
Come here.
1448
01:30:04,852 --> 01:30:06,183
Let's go back inside.
1449
01:30:06,184 --> 01:30:08,559
Just give me a
minute, all right.
1450
01:30:08,560 --> 01:30:10,017
Okay.
1451
01:30:20,018 --> 01:30:22,017
Hi.
1452
01:30:23,350 --> 01:30:24,974
You came!
1453
01:30:25,475 --> 01:30:27,516
Piece of cake.
1454
01:30:30,892 --> 01:30:33,391
I came because I love you.
1455
01:30:35,142 --> 01:30:38,141
I came because I need you.
1456
01:30:38,641 --> 01:30:40,974
I need my son.
1457
01:30:40,975 --> 01:30:43,223
I need my family.
1458
01:30:43,224 --> 01:30:45,390
That's why I came.
1459
01:30:47,391 --> 01:30:49,931
You want to
hear something crazy.
1460
01:30:49,932 --> 01:30:50,848
What?
1461
01:30:50,849 --> 01:30:53,015
I knew you'd come.
1462
01:30:53,016 --> 01:30:54,639
It's irrational.
1463
01:30:54,640 --> 01:30:55,806
It's romantic.
1464
01:30:55,807 --> 01:31:02,180
You and I, we've only
had moments, now we have time.
1465
01:31:26,556 --> 01:31:31,305
I spent my whole life in
opposition to this man.
1466
01:31:32,930 --> 01:31:36,637
Honestly, he never did
a bloody thing for me.
1467
01:31:37,305 --> 01:31:39,596
Except this.
1468
01:31:40,513 --> 01:31:43,845
Asking me to scatter
his ashes here.
1469
01:31:46,346 --> 01:31:48,761
And it saved my life...
1470
01:31:49,846 --> 01:31:52,304
because it brought
me back to the people I
1471
01:31:52,305 --> 01:31:54,803
love most in this world.
1472
01:32:00,429 --> 01:32:02,011
Even you, Brian.
1473
01:32:02,012 --> 01:32:04,261
You're the man, Richard.
1474
01:32:04,262 --> 01:32:06,511
Well, there comes a time,
and there's always a time,
1475
01:32:06,512 --> 01:32:08,469
and I guess this is the time.
1476
01:32:08,470 --> 01:32:12,302
So, Jakey, shall we
set Grandpa free?
1477
01:32:21,469 --> 01:32:23,385
Okay, Dad...
1478
01:32:24,177 --> 01:32:26,468
enjoy paradise!
1479
01:32:33,719 --> 01:32:36,634
So, how long
are you staying?
1480
01:32:36,635 --> 01:32:39,301
Okay, Jakey,
listen to me here.
1481
01:32:39,302 --> 01:32:42,593
I have to sort out
a few things first,
1482
01:32:43,176 --> 01:32:48,259
but maybe marrying
your aunt might help.
1483
01:32:51,593 --> 01:32:53,009
What?
1484
01:32:53,010 --> 01:32:55,216
Well, I
am down on one knee.
1485
01:32:57,925 --> 01:33:00,883
Then get up
and kiss me again.
109947
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