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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,538
- What are these sad print-outs?
2
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:10,275
They're for a proposal I plan
on making to the family.
3
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,511
And what kind of proposal
is this, Mr. Rose?
4
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:15,213
Are the police auctioning off
crime scene vehicles?
5
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:16,848
- No, these are only examples,
6
00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,250
uh, for the proposal.
7
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,786
I think it's time
we invest in a car.
8
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,021
I really don't see myself
driving any of these.
9
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,423
- Now, these are just examples.
10
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,824
Yeah, I would rather
drive a scooter.
11
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,926
And we all know how I feel
about scooters,
12
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,828
those stupid helmets.
13
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,897
All right, let's forget
the print-outs.
14
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,865
All right? I just think...
15
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,700
we could use a car.
16
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:37,836
Everyone has a car!
17
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,038
Roland has a car,
Bob has three cars.
18
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,240
Stevie has a car.
19
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:44,042
I want a car!
20
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:45,544
- Does this site have boats?
21
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,280
Okay, here's what
I put together.
22
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,983
- Is that a spreadsheet?
- Yes, yes, it is.
23
00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,218
And if you'd just let me
finish the pitch
24
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:54,953
the way I planned it,
25
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,455
things will be a lot more clear.
26
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,290
Okay, well, I'm gonna need
the car on Friday nights.
27
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,125
- Absolutely not.
28
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,359
Meaning that I would
get it Saturday.
29
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,128
We don't even have
the car yet!
30
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,263
Okay, we're just trying
to work within your schedule.
31
00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,232
Ohh! This is not your best
pitch, darling.
32
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,201
I haven't even started
the pitch, Moira!
33
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,702
Okay, you know what?!
34
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:11,937
I'm buying a car!
35
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,773
End of story.
36
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,609
- Where are you going?
37
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,479
- Here.
38
00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:25,884
♪ ♪
39
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,121
You know, really don't have
to go with me, Moira.
40
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,555
- Oh, I insist.
41
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,491
This is a big decision,
and there's no reason
42
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,459
it should rest solely
on your shoulders, dear.
43
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,561
You know, I actually
like buying cars.
44
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,098
- And you're very good at it.
45
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,867
But sometimes your choices...
46
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,336
are less suited
to a family's needs,
47
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:47,205
and more suited to a ponytailed
lothario,
48
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,341
cruising the Monte Carlo coast.
49
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,476
- Or like um, Vin Diesel.
50
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,545
- It's called style, people.
51
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:56,481
And you're brimming with it,
darling.
52
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,183
But each of us is going
to drive this,
53
00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,519
and a car says a lot
about a person.
54
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:03,221
Not that we can afford a car
that says a lot about us,
55
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,624
We did decide to only
budget $4,000...
56
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,459
of my money.
57
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,661
You know, he's got a point
there, honey.
58
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,264
We can't be eating
into the family funds.
59
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,599
Well, fault my
overzealousness,
60
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,435
but I think I can-we can find
61
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,305
a zippy little vintage
something on budget.
62
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,307
Not dressed like that,
you can't.
63
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,708
You bought me this dress,
David.
64
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,010
- I know!
65
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,846
And it cost twice as much
as the car you wanna buy.
66
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,515
No used car salesman
is gonna cut you a deal
67
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:33,318
dressed in archival
designer silk.
68
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,053
You know, He's got a point
there, honey.
69
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:38,156
Yeah, says the moving target
in the Bespoke suit.
70
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:41,193
Well, I'm not just gonna be
wearing a suit today, David.
71
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,161
I've got a ball cap
I can put on.
72
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,297
- Oh!
- David's right.
73
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,698
But you know what?
74
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:49,634
I could build
an appropriate look...
75
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,437
to mimic the trappings
of a workaday woman.
76
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:53,939
- And if you'll notice, David,
77
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,107
no cufflinks.
- Wow!
78
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:59,077
I am blinded by
the disenfranchisement.
79
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:02,914
I wouldn't be surprised
if they just gave you the car.
80
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,390
- Hey, sorry I'm late,
81
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,659
there was very heavy foot
traffic on the way over.
82
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:17,262
Do you mind putting these
in Mrs. Hertzman's file?
83
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:19,030
- Oh, hello!
84
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:22,234
Who is this cool cat,
and what did he do with Ted?
85
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,969
- Very funny.
86
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:27,138
Unfortunately, the alternative
isn't quite so...
87
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:28,607
cool.
88
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,275
- Oh my God, what happened?
89
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,711
Did you get in a bar fight?
90
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,746
Uh, you know, I'd actually
prefer not to talk about it.
91
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,681
- Okay...
92
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,483
Just for the sake
of maintaining
93
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:39,951
some professional boundaries.
94
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:41,386
- Yeah, okay, totally.
95
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:45,724
You owe someone money.
96
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,058
Alexis, I pay off
my credit card bills
97
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:49,060
two weeks in advance,
what do you think?
98
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,528
Okay, then why are you being
so weird about it?
99
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,398
I'm not being weird...
about it.
100
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,066
You're entitled to keep
things private from me.
101
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,638
- Okay, fine.
102
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,339
I know that they are for
the animals,
103
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,974
but I find that
when I get tired,
104
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:06,578
just one or two
kind of help me focus.
105
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:09,781
- What are you talking about?!
106
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,583
- Anyway, um,
107
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:14,552
secret or no weird secret,
108
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,454
we've gotta cover
that thing up.
109
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:19,457
I hope you're not
into contouring,
110
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,092
'cause it's not really my thing.
111
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,168
So the low energy bulbs
you installed in the bathroom,
112
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:33,872
I'm finding the light to be
very harsh, and um...
113
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,507
did someone die,
114
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,810
or are we going through like,
a mid-life Goth phase?
115
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,612
- Someone died.
116
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,514
Okay, I'm just finding
the bulbs to make my skin
117
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,482
look very jaundice-y.
118
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:47,252
- My great aunt died.
119
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,987
Okay, I can't tell
if we're still joking...
120
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,488
or not?
- I'm not.
121
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:54,225
Okay, and now I can't tell
whether you're playing
122
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,428
into the joke, or whether um...
123
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,663
you're telling the truth.
- She was 78.
124
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,598
- So you're not joking.
125
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,535
Okay. Um, well first,
I'd like to apologize
126
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:07,172
for everything I've said
since coming in here today.
127
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,140
- Why, you didn't kill her.
128
00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:11,142
I take it you weren't
very close.
129
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:12,744
- I actually really liked her.
130
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,613
I mean, she was a mess,
but I liked her.
131
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,716
That's probably why
I liked her.
132
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,718
Anyways, it turns out
I'm one of the few who did,
133
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,420
because all of the arrangements
have fallen to me!
134
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,489
- Oh.
135
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,459
Um, well if you...
136
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,662
need hel...
137
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,335
I'd like you to finish
that sentence.
138
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,804
- Oh! Um, I am happy to help...
139
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:42,707
you in this time of need.
140
00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:44,943
Thank you, as much
as I appreciate
141
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,511
your reluctant offer,
142
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,446
I don't think you could
handle it.
143
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,615
This whole thing
is super depressing.
144
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,951
- Okay, I think will be fine.
145
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,786
So I am happy to help.
146
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,757
That is what um, friends
say to each other, right?
147
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,894
- Yes, it is.
148
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,829
- Okay. Um...
149
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,532
so I'm just gonna change
into my funeral blacks.
150
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,502
And um, and meet you back here,
then.
151
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,920
- Oh, sorry, we don't want any.
152
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,491
I'm just joking. Come on in!
153
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,926
No, I'm not!
154
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,028
Johnny: Roland!
- Just let him in, Rollie!
155
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,264
Come on in!
156
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,698
- Thank you.
157
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,400
Entre vous, s'il vous plait.
158
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,369
- Hi, Johnny.
- Jocelyn.
159
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,371
Would you like to join us
for a game of cribbage?
160
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,872
We play every day at lunch.
161
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,475
That's right, and Fridays,
it's strip crib.
162
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,510
Well, thank God
it's not Friday.
163
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:53,878
- Well, we can pretend.
164
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,413
- Now, I'm not staying long,
165
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,282
I just came by to borrow
some clothes.
166
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,751
- Ah, okay.
167
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:01,453
Honey, why don't you check
your closet,
168
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,655
and see if you got anything
that Johnny can fit into.
169
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,591
Look, Moira and I are going
to a used car lot today,
170
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:09,394
and I just need to appear
more um...
171
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,296
- Official?
172
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,164
- Casual. Casual.
173
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,899
You see, I've got a closet
full of suits,
174
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,735
but uh, I don't wanna be
taken advantage of
175
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,505
because I'm overdressed,
I need to look like
176
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,240
I don't have money.
177
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,741
- But you don't have any money.
178
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,478
Oh, I know I don't
have any money,
179
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:29,247
but I need to look like
I don't have money.
180
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,748
- Ohhhh, okay.
181
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,952
here's what I'm hearing
you say,
182
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,621
what you're saying is you
wanna dress like me,
183
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:40,325
because I look like I don't
have any money!
184
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,759
- I think I misspoke.
185
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,428
Well, that's what I heard
out of both ears,
186
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,762
one of them works pretty well.
187
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:47,365
- I mean, anything that looks...
188
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,334
um, hip! I need something hip.
189
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,602
Hipper than these suits.
- Hip!
190
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,003
Oh jeez, yeah!
191
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,771
Now you're speaking
my language!
192
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,374
Hip we can do!
193
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,109
What do you want, uh PVC,
194
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,777
or a Hawaiian shirt?
195
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,684
Funeral Director: Sorry about
the mess.
196
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,753
We're in the middle of a move.
197
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:13,291
Now unfortunately,
we haven't quite found
198
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,926
your Aunt Maureen's ashes,
199
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,762
but we know they're here
somewhere.
200
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,232
Okay, well,
that's encouraging.
201
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,434
The problem is they all come
in from the crematorium
202
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:24,869
on the same day,
203
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,272
and sometimes,
they're not labeled.
204
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,773
- Oh?
205
00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:32,277
Is it possible someone else
picked them up?
206
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,745
- Unlikely.
207
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,947
I see your great aunt
has a sister.
208
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,982
Yeah, they haven't spoken
in 20 years.
209
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,585
- And a step-son.
- He's in prison.
210
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,854
- And a cousin.
- Who's also deceased.
211
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,926
What?
- I didn't know.
212
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,994
That side of my family
has a bit of a reputation
213
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,430
for conflict.
- Okay.
214
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,365
- And philandering.
215
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,767
And fraud.
- Yeah...
216
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,368
- And gunplay.
217
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,406
Well, I'm sure her remains
will turn up.
218
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,010
But we should talk about
urns for your aunt.
219
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,286
We'll just get this one,
I guess.
220
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:17,822
Well, that's the shipping
tube we pack the urns in.
221
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,092
- Found them.
222
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,494
They were on top
of the microwave.
223
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,396
Wonderful.
Oh, that reminds me.
224
00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:28,433
Can you get us some whitener
for the coffees?
225
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:32,003
- Oh... what have I been using?
226
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,974
- Okay, I'm gonna put that down.
227
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,009
- And what about the service?
228
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,813
Well, since it's just
gonna be us attending,
229
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,848
I think we can do without.
230
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:47,452
I see... now, I know
this may sound premature,
231
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,821
but have the two of you
thought about the planning
232
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:52,156
of your own funerals?
233
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:53,658
- Okay...
234
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,893
I think we got what
we came here for,
235
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,862
so we-I think we can just...
236
00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,364
thank you so much.
237
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,635
What?
238
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,803
- Well, if I squint,
239
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,672
I feel like I'm seeing
your rough and rugged
240
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,507
country cousin.
241
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,875
- Oh, and you feel confident
242
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,443
you've hit the target
with this?!
243
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,946
I apprenticed costume design
under Stan LaCoulier.
244
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,048
I'm sure he'd agree
this toggery
245
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,517
is the perfect tribute
to the common woman.
246
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,452
Oh, John, look.
247
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,987
It's our car!
248
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,989
Well, Moira, let's not pick
the first car we see.
249
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,991
- No, before David was born!
250
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,593
We bought a car just like this,
251
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,128
don't you remember?
252
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,630
Well, I don't remember
the "Everything Be Irie"
253
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:33,998
bumper sticker.
254
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,534
- Oh no, it's perfect!
255
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,636
Hello!
- Moira!
256
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,805
This car is $3,000 more
than our budget.
257
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,373
- I'm a trained actor.
258
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,175
A humble back story
will disabuse this man
259
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,310
of any notion
we're too patrician.
260
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,545
- Well, okay, but...
261
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,580
let's start by losing words
like "patrician."
262
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,684
- Hey folks, how we doin' today?
263
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,119
- Oh, excited beyond compare!
264
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:58,556
Yes, especially with this being
our first ever purchase
265
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,024
of an automobile.
266
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:01,893
- Yes, it's our first car,
267
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,861
let's hope we can afford it.
268
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:07,732
Yes, my poor 'usband,
lost his job recently
269
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,701
as a tennis pro,
270
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,903
yes, at a public resort,
that is, yeah.
271
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,038
Well, let's get you folks
settled inside,
272
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,740
we'll see what we can do.
273
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,141
- Oh, thank you.
274
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,976
It'll be nice to get off
the streets,
275
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,913
and be indoors for a change,
yeah?
276
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,448
- Moira...
- What?!
277
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:32,657
Moira: The truth is that um...
278
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,826
we've-we've struggled
with penury
279
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,694
for quite some time now,
280
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,563
well, just two years ago,
we were...
281
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,531
practically 'omeless.
282
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,367
- Where are you two from?
283
00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:45,737
You know, I've been
wondering that myself.
284
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,205
- I'm from London,
285
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,474
I was one of two
identical twins.
286
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,577
Tragically, I was snatched
from my crib at birth
287
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,812
by Russian mobsters.
288
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:57,014
Mhmm, they looked
at my fair skin,
289
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,850
and my dazzling eyes,
and they said,
290
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,818
we'll make a pretty penny
on that one,
291
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:02,987
on the human black market,
we will.
292
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:06,090
- And what about the twin?
- What's that, love?
293
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:07,658
- Well, if you're identical,
294
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:09,026
I thought you'd both
be valuable.
295
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,895
- Yes, wouldn't you?
296
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,798
- She wasn't born yet.
297
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,633
Yep, she wasn't born.
298
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,001
'til three minutes later,
299
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,036
and the Bratva work
very quickly.
300
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,041
- That is quite a story.
301
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,177
Isn't it?
302
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:30,948
Um, excuse me, I...
I'll be back in a moment.
303
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,822
- I think he's buying it!
304
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,323
- You think?
305
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,328
Hey!
306
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,832
These are for you.
307
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,433
Oh, you didn't have
to do that.
308
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:51,736
- Lisa dropped them off.
309
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,771
- Oh.
- Hey!
310
00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,740
- Don't be embarrassed.
311
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,074
- I'm not embarrassed.
312
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,476
- I know your little secret,
313
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,144
and as your assistant
I will be discreet,
314
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,879
and professional.
- What?
315
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,114
No one's gonna know
that you're having
316
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,749
an adventurous little rendezvous
317
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,717
with an apple-cheeked farmwoman!
318
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:08,753
- But that's not what happened!
319
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,288
- Wink.
320
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,927
I was making a house call
to Lisa's farm,
321
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,129
and got...
322
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,631
head-butted by her goat.
323
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,135
Is that when one of you
is on the floor,
324
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,770
and then the other one
kind of just like hops...
325
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,305
- No, uh...
326
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,907
I was head-butted
by an actual goat.
327
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,676
And as a vet,
that's not something
328
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,011
that I want getting out,
so please don't be thinking
329
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,446
that this is something
that it isn't.
330
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,082
- Okay. Sorry.
331
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,988
Those are delicious,
by the way.
332
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,990
She practically begged me
to try one.
333
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,125
So... I did.
334
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,162
And I also took a couple
for David.
335
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:56,567
Um, yeah, you're right,
this is a bit depressing.
336
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,202
Are we sure this
is the right place?
337
00:13:58,237 --> 00:13:59,637
- She was very specific
338
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,372
about where she wanted
to be scattered.
339
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,673
- Um, so what are...
340
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,509
where-how...
where should we do...
341
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:06,944
Well, I don't want
people parking on her!
342
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,646
- Okay.
- So...
343
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,649
Maybe I could just put her
on the grass over there?
344
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,150
- Sure.
345
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,219
- Ooh, it
smells like cigarettes.
346
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:17,154
- Ohhh...
- Um...
347
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,323
do we scatter it all,
or do we...
348
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,859
save some for later?
- Later?!
349
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,395
I don't know!
350
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:28,399
This is gonna be me.
351
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,801
Well, theoretically,
it's gonna be all of us.
352
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,136
Um, although I'm hoping
that when I pass,
353
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:34,372
there'll be a little
more fanfare.
354
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,841
My great aunt worked
at the motel.
355
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,010
Front desk.
356
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:42,046
- You never told me that.
- Yep.
357
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,982
So I just need to take up
palm reading,
358
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:46,717
get a few cats,
359
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,085
move to Saskatchewan.
360
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,754
- Well, a girl could dream.
361
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:55,092
You are not your aunt!
362
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:56,427
From what I've heard,
I wouldn't be friends with her,
363
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,462
and I'm friends with you,
so that's one major difference.
364
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,033
She made her decisions.
365
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,401
And you're going to make yours,
366
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,102
and they are going
to be different.
367
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:07,405
And they are going to be great.
368
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,241
And if they're not,
I'll be sure to scatter
369
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,143
your ashes in a much nicer
parking lot.
370
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,678
I think I'm just gonna start
pouring, okay?
371
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,112
- Okay, so...
- Okay. - Not here, though!
372
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:17,281
Let's go just... over there.
373
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,050
Thank you very much
for waiting.
374
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,252
- Oh.
- This is Sarah,
375
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,087
this is my wife,
and business partner.
376
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:25,623
- Oh hi, is everything okay?
377
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,658
Well, I hope you can
forgive me,
378
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:30,461
but I couldn't help
overhear your story.
379
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,263
- Oh yes, love,
380
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,799
it's an inspiration to many,
I'm sure.
381
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:37,034
- And it sounded so familiar.
382
00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:38,869
But then I remembered...
383
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,072
"Sunrise Bay!"
384
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,240
My wife was addicted
to your show!
385
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,043
- Well, I find it's wonderful,
386
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,812
but we don't have
a television, so.
387
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,681
- Moira...
- I remember when your twin showed up,
388
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,718
and stabbed Armand
with her sharpened crutch.
389
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,953
Okay, look folks,
I'm really sorry,
390
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:58,055
my wife was simply...
391
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,024
trying to fictionalize
392
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:02,026
our very real financial
struggle.
393
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,427
- Okay, that was fun.
394
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,929
There's no need
to be embarrassed.
395
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,964
We read all about what
happened to you,
396
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,300
losing everything.
- It's heartbreaking.
397
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,802
- We didn't lose everything.
- Well...
398
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,771
- Seeing you working so hard,
399
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,573
just to shave a few bucks
off that Lincoln,
400
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,675
which we could do.
401
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,777
But now you're making it
sound like some...
402
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,380
act of desperation,
it was simply just an act.
403
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,016
Um Moira, they're just
trying to help us out
404
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,884
by giving us a better price.
405
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,285
- Well, nonsense, dear,
406
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,221
we can certainly pay
full freight.
407
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,790
You save that discount
for someone who needs it!
408
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,392
- Yes, okay. Dear, look.
409
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:38,462
We really would appreciate
any financial assistance.
410
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,298
Or perhaps we might have
to take our business
411
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,268
to a dealership that sells
brand new cars.
412
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:45,970
As you can see,
we can't even afford
413
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,305
her meds right now.
414
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,374
I'll get the paperwork
started.
415
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,745
Here we go, dear,
here's the chair.
416
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,855
- Hey, so I'm headed out,
417
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,358
and I will drop off the flea
shampoo for Ms. Warner's cat.
418
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,261
Sorry, what did
Mrs. Warner say?
419
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,530
She called to ask if you
would drop off flea shampoo,
420
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,432
and she also asked
if you would wash her cat,
421
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,301
but I said that
you were too busy.
422
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,171
Oh. Y-yeah. Uh okay,
you know what,
423
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,473
I got this.
- I'm happy to do it.
424
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:25,910
Um... do we even have
flea shampoo?
425
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:28,112
- Uh, it's fine, I-I'll do it.
426
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:29,680
It's best if I do it.
427
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,082
- No, it's on my way home,
428
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,617
and I rarely offer to do
things like this, so.
429
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,589
Heather Warner doesn't
actually have a cat.
430
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,257
- Ohhh.
431
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:43,627
She like, thinks she has a cat?
432
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:44,862
That's so sad.
433
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,233
But I guess she is like 50,
so that makes sense.
434
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,035
- Yep, she's 42.
435
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,803
And she's not crazy.
436
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,840
It's code.
437
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:03,981
I'm kind of seeing Heather,
and the flea shampoo is...
438
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,416
- A booty call?!
439
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,084
Well, I'm not crazy about
the term, but...
440
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,587
Ted, look at you,
Little Sexy Susan!
441
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,789
Okay, calling me "Susan"
kinda takes the sexy out of it.
442
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,491
But I'm glad we were able
to deal with this
443
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,192
in a professional manner.
444
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:17,561
Ted, say hi to her cat
for me.
445
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,963
That's too far, Alexis!
446
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,871
- To Maureen Budd,
447
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:30,875
and not following too closely
in her footsteps.
448
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,412
So we're drinking to me
not becoming an alcoholic?
449
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,047
- Mhmm.
450
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,583
Off to a good start.
451
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,322
Hi, I'm looking
for Stevie Budd.
452
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:47,591
- I'm her.
- Hi, we spoke on the phone,
453
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,894
I'm Elaine,
from West, Read and Healy.
454
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,896
I have some personal effects
that were willed to you,
455
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,598
Oh...
- and some documents for you to sign.
456
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,300
- Thanks.
457
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,436
- Oh my God.
458
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,705
When did you have
this photo taken?
459
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,607
- That's not me.
460
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,843
That's Maureen.
461
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,112
- Mmm.
462
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,947
Okay, well,
just because you bear
463
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,116
a vague physical resemblance,
464
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,151
does not mean that you...
465
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:17,421
will end up in an apartment
with newspaper for curtains.
466
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,391
Okay, this is not
going to be you.
467
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,494
- What is this?
468
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:26,463
That is the deed
to the motel.
469
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:27,765
- Sorry?
470
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:31,569
- Maureen Budd owned the motel.
471
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,071
- You didn't tell me that.
472
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,539
- Nobody told me that.
473
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,174
I mean, I knew it was
in the family,
474
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:39,376
but I didn't know
she outright owned it.
475
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,380
Was she of sound mind?
476
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,216
Uh well,
according to her will,
477
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,351
she wanted you to have it.
478
00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:51,522
- Was she of sound mind?!
479
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,660
- Okay, this still doesn't mean
480
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,163
that you are going to be
anything like her!
481
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,931
I mean sure, on the surface,
482
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:03,500
it is a step in that direction,
but, you know,
483
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,469
um, okay, you know what?
484
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,404
Let's clear some of this stuff.
- Yeah.
485
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:09,173
- Starting with the urn.
486
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,508
And I'm-we're gonna just...
487
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:26,590
You look like a contestant
on "The Price Is Right."
488
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:30,594
Well, it worked,
because the price was right.
489
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,496
- How much did you pay for this?
490
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,031
- David, it's not polite to ask
491
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,366
what you paid for something.
492
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,434
- It says $7,250 right there.
493
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,802
- Well, that's way over budget!
494
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:40,738
Well, that's not what
we paid for it.
495
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,239
Well, what did you pay
for it?!
496
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:43,707
- $6,000 quid, love.
497
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,509
- Oh God!
- Thank you, Moira.
498
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:46,877
And it would've been a lot less,
499
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,579
if your mother hadn't talked
them back up!
500
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,547
You can't put a price
on dignity.
501
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,250
- Uh, tell that to your outfit.
502
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,685
- This is your outfit.
503
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,620
- What?!
- Okay, look.
504
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:59,223
The important thing is,
we now have a car!
505
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,258
Is this a car
for dead people?
506
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,993
- No, it's not a hearse!
507
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,696
Look, this is a used car,
so it's not perfect.
508
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,464
Were all the other cars
on fire, then?
509
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,103
It's very big.
36460
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