All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S02E03.Jazzagals.1080p.Amazon.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.x264-QOQ

David! Alexis!

Time to leave for breakfast.

Honestly David,
why are you not ready?

- I'm not going.

How is it that a moth
can find its way

into a triple locked
titanium suitcase?!

The perils of owning
cashmere.

Alexis! Please, dear!

Alexis hasn't been here
for a week and a half.

She's at Mutt's.

- Well, that's simply not true.

I had breakfast with her
just yesterday.

- That was me!

We had a lengthy conversation
about hosiery and menopause.

- Again, that was me.

*

Hello? Anyone here?

Oh, hey.

Could I get you to take
a quick look at my muffler?

Oh, I'm-I'm sorry,
I don't work here.

Oh... that's-
'cause you're behind the desk,

and everything.

Oh yeah, no, I mean
I "work" here,

but I don't actually work
"here..." in the garage.

I mean, I am working
here in the garage,

but I don't work
for the garage. I'm...

So you don't know anything
about mufflers?

'cause I think it's just a
loose connection on the bottom.

Yeah, Bob will be back
in a minute,

and I think that's
your best bet,

Just you know, 'cause he comes
and goes, and...

Okay, well, maybe I'll
just... go to another garage.

Yeah, yeah. Well, sorry,
I uh, couldn't help.

Hey Johnny, I just went out
and got me a muffin.

Bob, a customer was just
in here,

and he was saying he had
a problem with a muffler.

Oh yeah? What uh,
what'd it end up being?

Well, I don't know,
I didn't go out and look!

- Oh?
- I'm not a mechanic!

Well, I don't expect you
to know everything,

but you know, if a client
of yours came in here,

I'd certainly talk to them.

- Well, I hope you wouldn't.

Well, not that I have
to worry,

I know you're a little
low on clients.

That's because I'm building
a business, Bob.

And right now I'm in strategy
mode,

looking for opportunities,

and eventually I will
implement a plan.

- Well, if you feel like uh,

you might like to implement
a muffler, be my guest.

Because I can't afford to lose
any customers right now, Johnny,

Especially ah, when I'm giving
away free office space.

- Question.

The cedar planks
out behind the motel,

are they being used
for something,

or are they up for grabs?

- How do you know it's cedar?

Um, I bought a cologne once,
in Japan,

that's supposed to smell
like the aftermath

of a car crashing
into a cedar tree.

Why would anyone
wanna smell like that?

- Hmm?
- You know what?

Never mind, the cedar is yours.

- Thank you so much.

- Um, If I may,

what are you planning on doing
with a pile of wood?

- Oh. Um...

A family of moths
seem to have mistaken

my cashmere sweaters
for an Atlantic City

all-you-can-eat buffet.

And I plan on putting
a stop to that.

So I'm building a cedar chest
for my knits.

You're planning on building
a cedar chest?

- That's correct.

- You are.

You're gonna build it?
- It's a box!

So you're just nailing some
planks of wood together.

Anyway, if you've seen
the state of my sweaters,

you'd know that I have very
little choice in the matter.

So thank you.
- Okay well, don't let me

stand in the way
of your handiwork!

- Mhmm.
- May the force be with you.

- Thank you so much.

Thank you, genuinely.

Honestly, you're so great.

- Oh, Twyla...

- Twyla!

Twyla!

Uh, be right there,
Mrs. Rose.

- Hi, Moira!
- Hello, everyone.

- Hey.

- I'll see you guys later.
- Yeah, see you at two.

- Yeah.

Sorry about that, I wan't sure
whether you were waiting

for your family, or a friend...

No, just an intimate
breakfast, nothing special,

no big "ladies' bruncheon"
for me.

- Ladies' bruncheon?

Well, whatever that was.
A gathering of the girls, I...

- Oh, you mean the Jazzagals.
- I do?

Yeah, the Jazzagals
is our singing group.

A singing group?
What fun.

Yeah, Jocelyn started it
a few years ago,

and it's been great.

We even went to New York once.

Oh, a trip to the big city.
How grand!

Let me guess, a bucket
of shrimp in Times Square,

followed by a "Lion King"
matinee!

No, actually, we performed
in Central Park.

- C-Central Park? Really?

Yeah! For the "Little Towns,
Big Voices" Festival.

You do realize I am
a professional vocalist.

- Oh, really?

I thought you were in like,
a soap opera.

Oh, I didn't know you were
a fan, thank you!

My roots are in the theatre.

Especially musicals.
Anything "Andy" Webber!

Wow! So did you record
an album?

Oh, yes, you'll find me
on ensemble tracks

seven, nine, and thirteen of the
original cast recording of Starlight...

"Starlight Express."

Well, then you should
definitely talk to Jocelyn!

She would love to have you
in the group.

Or perhaps Jocelyn
should speak to me.

- Yeah. Menu?

Yes please, I'm still
not quite off book.

- Aaah!

Uh huh?

Uh, hey, I just came by
for Alexis,

she wanted me to grab
some uh...

- Cute looks for...
- Cute looks for the barn?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, in the closet.

- Everything okay?

- Yeah, I'm just um...

I'm just doing some measurements,
I'm measuring something, so.

Why don't you use
a measuring tape?

- Ah, because we don't have one.

Did you ask Stevie if maybe
the motel has one?

- Um... yeah, I haven't got...

I hadn't thought of...
I didn't think of that.

So what are you measuring,
exactly?

Um, it's a really tragic
story,

involving some damaged
luxury cashmere.

And so I am building a cedar
chest for my sweaters.

So I'm just measuring how big
to make the chest.

- Well, I've built a chest before.
- Yeah?

- And I have some time, um...

Do you want some help?

You know what?
That could be good.

- Well, how far along are you?

- Um, I'm this far.

I can't come in,
But I do have some good news.

- That's great.

What's your news?

Well, a little bird
chirped in my ear

about your singing group.

- Oh, you mean the Jazzagals.

Yes, at first I wondered
aloud

why would a competitive
vocal group

not reach out to a trained
chanteuse?

Oh, we're just a group
of gals.

- Exactly, that's the answer.

Small minds don't reach
for the stars.

No more! Not on my watch.

Jocelyn, I am here!

You wanna audition
for the Jazzagals?

- Au-Audition!

Uh, though I'm sure
you mean no offense,

in the actual world
of entertainment,

I'm what's known as,
"offer only."

Moira, I know you're
a great singer,

everybody has to audition,

and I can't have you
not audition,

it would open up a whole
can of worms,

I mean, even Gwen
had to audition,

and she was in a regional
production of "Annie."

- Who hasn't been?

Listen, we would love
to have you,

you think about it.

- Okay...

- Bob? You've got a customer!

Bob!

Yeah, the owner's just stepped
out, uh, but maybe...

I can help you?

- Hey.

Has Paul Bunion finished
his box?

- Who?

I'm going to need some things
for the chest.

Like the number
for a carpenter?

Like, a work bench,
a miter saw,

two bar clamps, and some dowels.

Okay... do you know how
to use a miter saw?

- Um, no. Mutt is out back,

and he's asked me to get
these things for him.

Um, we're building
the chest together. So...

Wow, this whole thing
just got a lot weirder.

There's a tool shed out back,
the other side of the motel.

- Okay.
- Will you be requiring a tool box?

- Maybe?

Um, let's go with yes,
just to be safe.

Will you be needing
your basic toolbox,

or your "cedar chest" tool box?

Obviously the cedar chest
tool box!

Oh, that's in
the shed.

It's a big wooden box,

with the words,
"tools to make a cedar chest"

carved into the side of it,
so it's really clear...

Okay, I'm assuming
you're kidding.

Um...

But in the off chance
that you're not,

where in the shed
would I find that box?

You're kidding.

* From the heavens

* And she did
what she had to do *

* She called every angel

* Nah nah nah nah
nah nah nah nah *

* To rearrange the stars

* So that each
and every woman *

* Could find the perfect guy

* Ga ga ga ga ga ga

* Oh, it's raining men!
Yes!

Bravo! Bravo!

- Moira!
- Hello, you.

Hi!
Sorry for interrupting.

I just-I just thought
I'd stop by,

I was in the neighbourhood.

Maybe I should showcase
my talents,

I thought, for the group.

- Oh, that's great.

Great, you can call it
an audition if you must,

or an impromptu performance,

or perhaps "an evening with..."

- That all sounds amazing.

We're just finishing up
a rehearsal,

we just have to work out a couple
of rough spots in Lena's solo,

and then you can have the floor.

I'll wait, far be it for me
to get in the way

of you making any necessary
improvements.

- Okay, so we're almost there,

let's just work out some
of those little rough spots.

Okay?
- Okay.

- So let's take it from...

"For tonight,
for the first time."

- Okay. Okay, okay.

* 'Cause tonight
for the first time *

* Just about half past ten

* For the first time...

Hey, Johnny. Keepin' busy,
or uh... hardly workin'?

Well, first of all, Bob,
that's not the expression.

Um, take a seat.

If I may, an observation?

To run a business,
you have to be here

to run the business.

You have to be here to deal
with your clients.

That's what I've been
doing all afternoon.

You got some clients,
that's great news!

No, I was dealing
with your customers!

- Well, thank you, Johnny,

That's a refreshing change
of attitude.

- Bob, you're never here!

And while you were gone,

I helped a customer fill
his tire with air,

I helped an elderly woman
add oil to her car,

and I sold the '93 Buick
for $350 dollars.

You've got to be here
to run your business!

- Whoa, you have been busy!

Listen, uh...

tell me just a little more
about selling that Buick.

- Well, it's a funny story.

This guy came in supposedly
for directions.

Okay, but anyone with
a background in sales

could see how he was
eyeballing that Buick.

So I slow play it.

I pretend I don't notice.

And then he sort of mentions
the Buick.

So I hem and haw, textbook
stuff, I tell him, you know,

oh, there's a lot of interest
in that particular vehicle.

You know, I'm playing the guy
like a bow fiddle.

Then he finally admits
this is the kind of car

that he's been looking for.

Oh, really? Says I.

That's when I go in
for the kill.

Long story short, he forks over
$350 dollars cash.

And you're welcome.

Certain instincts
you just don't lose.

It's like riding a bike.

Well, funny you should
use that expression.

Because Dick Sinson is gonna be
riding his bike

until we can get his car
back for him!

- Who's Dick Simpson?
- I couldn't tell 'ya.

But Dick Sinson is the fella
whose car you just sold.

He brought it in
for a brake job.

I don't recall him
wanting to sell it.

- Oh.

Oh, poor Dick.
He loved that car.

It was a gift from the church.

He and his family hit
on some hard times, and uh...

- Yeah, you know what, Bob?

I'll tell 'ya, I will call
Mr. Stinson and apologize.

Well, you can apologize
to Mr. Stinson

until the cows come home,

but I don't see how that
is gonna help Dick Sinson!

- I'll fix it, Bob!

- Here's hopin'.

- Ridiculous name!

- Sin-Sinson... Sinson!

Dick Sin-Sinson!

Ahh... we just need
to wait for the glue to dry,

it shouldn't take too long.
- This is really nice of you.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, well, I can't not
jump in and help

when I see someone doin'
something wrong.

Was it wrong, or was it
just unconventional?

- No, it was wrong.

Okay, well,
I'm not gonna argue with you,

'cause I need you to keep
working, we're in too deep.

Uh, does Alexis know about this?

- Yeah... definitely.

Can I tell you something?

But you gotta promise
not to tell Alexis.

- Okay, um...

If you're experiencing
feelings for me,

Like, I totally get it.

And normally I'd be into it,

I've just been down
this road before,

and it's-it's messy.

- No, it's about Alexis.
- I see, okay.

Um, well, you know, uh...

what-what is it?

She slept over like
a week and a half ago,

and she hasn't left.

- Uh huh.
- I mean, don't get me wrong,

I love having her there
at night,

if you know what I mean.
- Yeah, I do, yeah.

It's just the days,
they've gotten a bit um...

- Suffocating?

I just think that a little
space is a healthy thing.

- Mhmm, it is, totally.

I mean, I've been enjoying it
a lot, so.

And I live alone, and now
someone is there all the time.

Which is great.
- Uh huh.

- But just not every day.

And I just... don't know
what to say.

Well, she sort of fades into
the background after a while,

you know, like a smoke alarm.

Are you just saying that
because you don't want her

to move back here?
- Yes, I am!

You just take some time,
you know?

Carve out some time in a day
to just escape.

You know, do what you wanna do.

It's the only thing
that'll keep you sane.

Because no, you can't mention
any of this to her,

she'd lose her fucking mind.

- Yeah...

* It's raining men

* It's raining men

* Every specimen...

- Yeah, almost there!

- Okay.
- Really good though, yeah.

Okay Moira, you're up.

- I just noticed the time, wow.

And you're all very busy,
so why don't we reschedule this

for two weeks from now,
when you're all more prepared.

Oh no, we were done early,
we got plenty of time.

Thank you, but I think
I'm fighting a little bug.

- Come on Moira, audition!

I would love to learn
from a professional singer.

- Really?
- Or we could just all go home early.

- Come on, Moira!

Moi-ra! Moi-ra!
- Stop!

Moi-ra! Moi-ra! Moi-ra!
Moi-ra!

- That's cruel!

Well, I can't say no
to anyone!

* Someone held me
all night long *

* It should've been you

* Someone's arms were big
and strong *

* It's should've been you

* It's-I- a wah!

* I warned you I was lonely

* But you didn't seem to care
No no no *

* That you could've been-
do do *

* But you... dah dah
heed a woman's tears... *

* Woo doo

* Someone loved me
all night long *

* It should have been
should've been you! *

* You!

That's the end.

- Oh, that was... different.

- Thank you.

Well, thank you,
I'll leave you to discuss.

- What's going on?

Um, I'm gonna sleep
here tonight.

- Oh, is everything okay?

- Yeah, why wouldn't it be?

Well, it's just that you've been
spending a lot of time at Mutt's.

- Yeah, I know,

and I actually had to talk
to him about that.

- Oh, you did?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Um, like, he brought
all my stuff back,

and I was like, this is great,

but then at the same time
I was just kinda like,

I feel like I need
my space right now.

Yeah, and that's something
that you said to him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we were chatting,

and I was just like, I feel
like I need to spend a few days

back at the motel.
- Yeah...

That's-again, that's-
you said that?

Yeah, that's what
we were talking about.

- Oh, okay. Um...

and how did he take that then?

Um, well, I mean, I was kinda
worried about telling him.

- I'm sure. Uh huh.

- Because I didn't want...

I didn't wanna hurt him,
and I didn't want him to worry,

like, oh my God,
is he breaking up with me?

Is she breaking up with me?

Right, yeah,
'cause we wouldn't want him...

to worry about that.

- Yeah, exactly.
- Mhmm.

So... but I'm really glad
that I told him,

and he took it really,
really well.

So...
- That's excellent.

- Yep.

That's a cute little
wood thing, David.

- Thank you, I made it.

It did seem like a few
of them

might've had some training,

but what I bring is a certain
sophistication,

improvisation, showmanship!

I'm sure you wowed them,
honey.

Oh John, there were definitely
lots of surprised looks.

Well, they've probably
never heard the real deal.

- I suppose!

Oh John, it felt so good

to be working the old
muscles again!

Riding the melody,
bending the notes!

Well, they must've enjoyed it
sweetheart,

if they asked you to join.

- Mm! I know!

I only wish you could've
been there, John.

It would've been so nice
to have you to sing to.

- Well, I'm sorry I missed it.

* In your dreams
I'll soon caress your... *

* Mmpph mmpph...

* In your dreams
I'll huzzle lovingly *

- Sweetheart.

* Boncha boom da da

* Between you and... me

- Honey?

* I was older darling
dream with me *