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1
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,151
Who is it?
2
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,852
It's Smiley Rogers.
3
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:19,523
Smiley Rogers, what
are you doing here?
4
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:20,547
Coming.
5
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,469
Smiley.
6
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,205
Oh, yeah!
7
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,573
Where is it?
8
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,241
Right over here, Smiley.
9
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,510
Oh, I can't believe
you found me one.
10
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,845
Yeah, there you go.
11
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,448
I picked it up for 10 bucks,
12
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,849
and I'll let you have
it for what I paid for it.
13
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,407
Thanks a lot, Fred.
14
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,521
Pretty good, huh?
15
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,156
Oh, man, sounds perfect.
16
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,602
♪ Old Father Time checked ♪
17
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:09,372
♪ So there'd be no doubt ♪
18
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:14,744
♪ To call on the north
wind To come on out ♪
19
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:20,584
♪ Then cupped his hands
So proudly to shout ♪
20
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:24,276
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dum 'Tis autumn ♪
21
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,558
♪ Trees say they're tired ♪
22
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,360
♪ They've born too much fruit ♪
23
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,861
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
24
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:36,799
♪ Charmed on the
wayside There's no dispute ♪
25
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,168
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
26
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:42,739
♪ Now shedding leaves
They don't give a hoot ♪
27
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:46,898
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
28
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,515
♪ Then the birds got together ♪
29
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,151
♪ To chirp about the weather ♪
30
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:58,788
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
31
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:02,492
♪ And after makin'
Their decision ♪
32
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,894
♪ In birdie-like precision ♪
33
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,163
♪ Turned about ♪
34
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,497
♪ Whoa ♪
35
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,867
♪ And made a
beeline To the south ♪
36
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:16,273
♪ My holding you close
Really is no crime ♪
37
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:22,412
♪ Ask the birds and the
trees And Old Father Time ♪
38
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:27,217
♪ It's just to help
The mercury climb ♪
39
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:31,188
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
40
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,189
What did you say?
41
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,523
I said,
42
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,793
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
43
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:37,960
Just one more time.
44
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,362
No...
45
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:45,123
♪ La-di-dah, di-lah-di-dah
'Tis autumn ♪♪
46
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,914
Yeah... Well, that
was nice, man.
47
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,516
I'll see you around, Fred.
48
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,184
I had a good time today, man.
49
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,553
That was really nice
singing that old song.
50
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,889
Incidentally, thanks
for the temple.
51
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,157
Hey, just a moment.
52
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,927
We sang, reminisced, and
had fun and all that stuff,
53
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:15,298
but the temple... This is $10.
54
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,166
Oh, yeah.
55
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,269
Well, can't I owe it to you?
56
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,726
Oh, no.
57
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,298
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
58
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:39,322
♪ La-di-di, di-lah-di-dum
'Tis money ♪♪
59
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:42,726
Who is it?
60
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:43,760
It's your sister.
61
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,784
Oh.
62
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,740
Hi, Fred. Frances.
63
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,575
Oh! Hi.
64
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,310
I don't remember that
door ever being locked
65
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,544
during the day.
66
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,313
Well, that's the penalty
for being the landlord.
67
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,514
Oh, my...
68
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,283
Are you having trouble
with the residents
69
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,950
of the Sanford Arms?
70
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,952
Yeah, you know, you
try to be nice and friendly
71
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,220
and treat people kindly...
72
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,455
They walk right over you.
73
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,157
Oh, what are they doing?
74
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,592
Well, when they moved in,
75
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:17,394
I told them if they
ever had a problem,
76
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,395
my door was open.
77
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,696
Walk right in.
78
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,399
So when they have a
problem, they walk right in.
79
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:25,702
You need a resident
manager, you know,
80
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:26,703
someone who would take care
81
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,438
of all those problems.
82
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,640
Someone who would live in
there and look after the place,
83
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,810
and someone who
would live there rent free.
84
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,211
Rent free?
85
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,212
Mm-hmm.
86
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,380
Are you crazy?
87
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,748
Does Ford give away his cars?
88
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:39,749
No.
89
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,218
Does Levi give away his pants?
90
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,443
Does Sara Lee
give away her buns?
91
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:50,949
Well, all right.
92
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,671
I finally picked a time
when the vault was open.
93
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,905
What vault?
94
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,941
Getting in here is tougher
than cracking Fort Knox.
95
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,944
Does something
happen to be wrong here,
96
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,479
Mrs. Hopkins?
97
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:13,182
Yes, something happens to
be wrong here, Mr. Sanford,
98
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,051
and here it is in
alphabetical order.
99
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,419
Number one. Wait a minute, now.
100
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,054
You send that to
our London office.
101
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,922
Oh, Fred.
102
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,459
See, the real estate
branch of Sanford Arms
103
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,994
is located in London,
Piccadilly Square.
104
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,864
That's our motto,
"Piccadilly, starve a cold."
105
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,200
Oh, for God... Good day.
106
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,803
Well what exactly is
wrong with your apartment,
107
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:34,804
Mrs. Hopkins?
108
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:35,805
Who are you?
109
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:36,806
I'm his sister.
110
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,441
I'm May Hopkins. How do you do?
111
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,642
Nice to meet you.
112
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,878
Oh, yes. Hoppy's mother... Yes.
113
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,646
And you're living
next door, huh?
114
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,647
That is correct.
115
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,815
I'm living in the ghetto
116
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,284
with my black brothers
and black sisters and...
117
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,753
red ants.
118
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:53,590
I told you... I told
you before, no pets.
119
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,079
Oh...
120
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,961
Furthermore, I need
a new window shade
121
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,162
for my bedroom.
122
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,564
What's wrong with
the old window shade?
123
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,099
It will not roll
up, Mr. Sanford.
124
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,300
Well that don't
make no difference,
125
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,334
because there ain't nothing
126
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,736
outside the window
for you to see,
127
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,904
and I'm sure anybody outside
128
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,208
don't want to look in.
129
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,575
Is that an insult?
130
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,511
Is a bullfrog waterproof?
131
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:18,214
Just get cracking on
that list, Mr. Sanford.
132
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,950
I'd like to get cracking on you.
133
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,887
Well, I never!
134
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:25,855
I can believe that.
135
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,012
Oh, oh!
136
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,566
Fred, those sound like
137
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,200
reasonable complaints to me.
138
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,602
Listen, honey,
139
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,905
now don't be concerned
with little things like that.
140
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,841
Now, by the way,
how is your thing?
141
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:45,842
What thing?
142
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,266
You know, the thing you married.
143
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,048
His name is Rodney,
and he's my husband.
144
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,983
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
your husband thing.
145
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:54,984
How is he?
146
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,486
He's fine.
147
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,350
Is he still white?
Oh, Frederick!
148
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:10,967
Hello, Aunt Frances.
149
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,401
Hello, sweetheart.
150
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,426
♪ La-di-di, di-lah-di-dum
It's dummy ♪♪
151
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,375
Hey, Pop, you know, I
just picked up a piano
152
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,711
for $20 down at
Jimmy's Bar and Grill.
153
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,045
Twenty bucks.
Hey, that's all right.
154
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,246
Good, look.
155
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,449
I want you to help
me get it off the truck.
156
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,250
Uh, not now, son. May the 1st.
157
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,586
Why May 1st?
158
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,811
May 1st, that's opening
day of the hernia festival.
159
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,860
Why don't you stop?
160
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,227
How's Rodney doing
anyway, Aunt Frances?
161
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,496
Oh, not so well.
162
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,098
It must be tough for a
performer to be out of work, huh?
163
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,001
It is, but he loves
being in show business.
164
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,492
Well, he'd better not show
his business around here.
165
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,978
Oh, Lamont, let me get
you a cold glass of milk.
166
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,445
Now, wait a minute, Frances.
167
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,780
Now, if my son's exhausted,
168
00:08:57,804 --> 00:09:00,149
if he wants something,
I get it for him.
169
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,150
Okay.
170
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,214
Oh, gee, thanks, Pop.
171
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:08,925
I'll get it.
172
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,793
No, it's okay.
I'll get it myself.
173
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,896
Hey, I'll get it,
whatever it is.
174
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,964
You've got it, whatever it is.
175
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,198
My brother-in-law!
176
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,534
Don't come round to me.
177
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,969
Just let me... Just let me go.
178
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,660
Get off of me.
179
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:27,544
How are you doing, Rodney?
180
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,545
How do you feel?
181
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,712
I feel great.
182
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,516
Hey, hey, I feel like a
tongue sandwich to go.
183
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,117
Ask me how I want it to go.
184
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,407
How do you want it to go?
185
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,893
Hey, Frances, you know what?
186
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,094
Huh?
187
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:49,398
You married Baskin and
Robbins' newest flavor...
188
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,300
tutti nut.
189
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,369
That's funny.
That's funny, Fred.
190
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,572
Hey, what do you want
me to do with this luggage?
191
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,106
What luggage?
192
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,908
The luggage here.
Didn't Frances tell you?
193
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,678
Oh, I was leading
up to it, Fred. I was.
194
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,179
Leading up to what?
195
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,181
Well, today was my last check
at the unemployment office,
196
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,382
and we're out of money,
197
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,785
so we have to move out
at the end of the week,
198
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,386
so we're gonna
move in with you, Fred,
199
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,454
until something comes up.
200
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:14,023
Well, you know you're in luck.
201
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,024
Really?
202
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,492
Yeah, something's coming up.
203
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,695
Uh, bend over,
and I'll show you.
204
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,696
No, wait.
205
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,698
Wait a minute!
206
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,133
Fred!
207
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,735
Is that how you treat a brother?
208
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,639
A half-brother. Whoa!
209
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,881
Hi, Aunt Frances.
210
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:39,882
Hi.
211
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:40,883
Hey, Pop.
212
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,086
Hey, son. Did we fix the stove?
213
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,055
Yes, we fixed the stove.
214
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,456
It's amazing how I get so dirty,
215
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,527
you stay clean, and
"we" fix everything thing.
216
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,029
Hey, did Rodney get back yet?
217
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,698
I want him to help me
get that piano off the truck.
218
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,233
No, dear, he's not.
219
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,268
Do you know where
he is? I have no idea.
220
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,771
He's probably somewhere
where he's needed,
221
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,195
the El Segundo
Institute of the Strange.
222
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,112
Fred, stop it. He's my husband.
223
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,880
That's the only reason
why he's moving around
224
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,671
without pall bearers.
225
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,687
Will you please
consider the idea?
226
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:18,711
Yes.
227
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:28,064
That's it, and the
answer is still no.
228
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,398
Now, what's your
idea, Aunt Frances?
229
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,399
I don't wanna hear it.
230
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,634
Well, don't listen.
231
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,435
Go ahead, I wanna hear it.
232
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:37,640
Rodney happens to
be a decent handyman,
233
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,642
so I would like to
suggest that you give us
234
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,943
the basement apartment
235
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,746
and make Rodney the
manager of the Sanford Arms.
236
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:44,747
Mm-hmm.
237
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,448
Do what? Give you the basement?
238
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:47,650
That place is worth a fortune.
239
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,219
Hey, Pop, that sounds
like a good idea to me.
240
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,403
When I want your
opinion, I'll give it to you.
241
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,147
Fred, please.
242
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,626
Rodney needs it.
243
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,930
I mean, he needs to
regain his self-respect,
244
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,131
and if it came from you...
245
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,466
I mean, if you asked
him or begged him...
246
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:05,568
Begged?
247
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,937
Yes, pleaded with him.
It would make him feel...
248
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,305
Pleaded?
249
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,708
Yes, it would make him
feel that you needed his help,
250
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,643
and it would help him
to feel like a man again.
251
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,279
Please, Fred.
252
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,414
Do it for me.
253
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,648
Listen, just stop
crying, will you,
254
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,883
for crying out loud?
255
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,085
Hey, come on, Pop.
256
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,153
Why don't you be a
little understanding, man?
257
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,822
I am being understanding.
258
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,590
I always be that way
259
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:30,492
just before I get ready
to plead and need...
260
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,561
Oh, thank you, Fred. And beg.
261
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,719
I don't want that
stuff on my face.
262
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,767
Well, I guess I'll go upstairs
263
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,902
and wash up for
the work that "we did"
264
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,004
on Mrs. Hopkins' stove.
265
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:44,373
Hi.
266
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,574
Okay, Rodney.
267
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,743
Yes?
268
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,612
Uh, I'd like to beg
something of you.
269
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,214
What is it?
270
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,751
Well, from a
pleading point of view,
271
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,418
I mean, needing-wise,
272
00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:00,056
how would you like to be
the manager of Sanford Arms
273
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,458
and live there for nothing free?
274
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,093
Too far. Huh?
275
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,629
Oh, you've gone
too far this time, Fred.
276
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,731
Sure, you want your
sister to live in that dungeon
277
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,599
and do all your dirty work.
278
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,334
Probably for free, right?
279
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,404
Well, foul, foul, foul!
280
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,974
Foul, foul, foul.
281
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,275
I'll show you foul.
282
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,539
How'd you like me to shove
a chicken up your nose?
283
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,755
Rodney, I don't
think Fred is trying
284
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,290
to take advantage of us,
285
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,958
and we could use the apartment,
286
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:36,959
and it's free.
287
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,227
Free? Yeah.
288
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,462
Free? When did I ever
want anything free before?
289
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,265
How much are you
paying to live here now?
290
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,532
Nothing.
291
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,201
I wouldn't insult you
by offering you money
292
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,635
for a place where
your sister lives
293
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,804
that belongs to her brother.
294
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,005
I have class.
295
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:52,441
Well, meet me
outside after class.
296
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,510
Say, you know, Rodney,
297
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,878
the apartment at
the Sanford Arms
298
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:57,146
is not exactly free, man.
299
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,015
You'd be paying for it
by managing the place.
300
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,083
Thank you, but you see,
301
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,585
I'm not a building
manager, Lamont.
302
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:05,021
I'm an impresario.
303
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,744
An im-pro-who-rio?
304
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,793
I'm an impresario.
305
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,461
I'll have you know
306
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,063
that I just booked
myself and my show
307
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,698
in that little movie
house around the corner,
308
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,533
the one that's showing
the Tyrone Power...
309
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,968
Oh, I think it's about the geek.
310
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,970
Well, they've gone
back to a policy
311
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,805
of presenting vaudeville,
312
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:27,009
and I just booked myself and
my show for a $100 a week.
313
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,078
Hey, Rodney, that's great, man.
314
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,880
Well, you know, it was
just a one-week trial,
315
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,481
but the manager
said if he likes me,
316
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,950
he'll hire me as
the steady emcee,
317
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:34,951
and then I won't need
318
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,719
your apartment
next door for free
319
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,120
and your room here for free.
320
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,222
So in other words,
321
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,191
if the show is a
hit, you'll move out?
322
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,192
That's right.
323
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,193
Who you got?
324
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,928
Well, I come out
and open the show
325
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,887
with some real socko jokes...
326
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,503
And then I know
this little old lady,
327
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,704
and she comes out
328
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:59,041
and does great dramatic
readings from Shakespeare...
329
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,977
And listen to the finale.
330
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,079
For the finale,
331
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,681
I have this great opera singer,
332
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:10,953
and he sings an excerpt
from The Chocolate Soldier.
333
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:13,990
I can see the two of you now,
334
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:17,848
the chocolate soldier
and the vanilla Twinkie.
335
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,137
You got a better idea?
336
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,872
Yes, I got a better idea.
337
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,740
See, now, I know the
people in this neighborhood,
338
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,142
and I know what they want.
339
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,543
Now, if the show is a hit,
340
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,645
you said that you'll move
out of here tomorrow,
341
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,247
and then Frances
will stop talking to me
342
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,249
about you managing over
there at the Sanford Arms, right?
343
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,484
That's right, and
you've got my word.
344
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,920
Your word? That's right.
345
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,322
A man's word is
good enough for me.
346
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,990
I've always said that.
347
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,359
A man's word is his bond.
348
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:51,394
Oh, yeah.
349
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:52,618
Sign this here. Right here.
350
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,975
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
351
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,977
Tonight, instead of the
Tyrone Power movie...
352
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,111
Where's the geek?
353
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,347
What geek? There's
no geek tonight.
354
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,151
Oh, man, as I was saying,
355
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,553
tonight, we're
starting our new policy
356
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,188
of bringing live
performers and vaudeville
357
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,890
back to our stage,
and to start things off,
358
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,259
here is your master
of ceremonies
359
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,427
for the night.
360
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,495
Let's hear it with a
big round of applause
361
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,397
for the fabulous Rodney Victor.
362
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,638
Thank you very much
and good evening,
363
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,673
ladies and gentlemen.
364
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,430
Good evening, geek.
365
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,044
Geek? Knock it off.
366
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,879
Let's show a little
respect in here,
367
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,147
or I'll throw you out.
368
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,149
He's a human being,
the same as you and me.
369
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,453
Go ahead, honky.
370
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,156
Thank you very much,
371
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,326
but I don't mind
insults from the public...
372
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,198
Because the public is
what America's all about.
373
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,222
Boo.
374
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,103
Speaking of America,
375
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,904
I was reading about America
in the newspapers today.
376
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,339
Hey, listen to this.
377
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,498
Cut to the death notices
and read us your name.
378
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,017
That's good.
379
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,518
That's funny.
380
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,220
Isn't that wonderful,
ladies and gentlemen,
381
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:27,123
speaking out freely like that?
382
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,780
Because that's America...
383
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,096
And America is the
people in the next act
384
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,365
that I'm about to
introduce to you.
385
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,766
Ladies and gentlemen,
386
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,502
the wonderful and the exciting
387
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,937
Fred G. Sanford
and Smiley Rogers,
388
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,741
better known as
Sanford and Song.
389
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,656
♪ Gotta get My old
tuxedo pressed ♪
390
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,958
♪ Gotta sew a
button On my vest ♪
391
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,127
♪ Tonight I've got
To look my best ♪
392
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,329
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
393
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:09,932
♪ Gotta get a half a
buck Somewhere ♪
394
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,733
♪ Shine my shoes Slick my hair ♪
395
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,470
♪ Gotta get myself
A boutonniere ♪
396
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,272
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
397
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,674
♪ You can tell all my pets ♪
398
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,142
♪ And all my Harlem coquettes ♪
399
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,510
♪ Uh-huh ♪
400
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:25,281
♪ Mr. Otis regrets That
he won't be around ♪
401
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,383
♪ You can tell the
mailman Not to call ♪
402
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,052
♪ I ain't coming
home Until the fall ♪
403
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,288
♪ I might not get
back Home at all ♪
404
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,789
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
405
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,525
♪ La-da-da-da-uh-ha-ha ♪
406
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,117
♪ La-da-da-da-uh-ha-ha ♪
407
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:47,358
♪ La-da-da-da-uh-ha-ha ♪
408
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,309
♪ You can tell all my pets ♪
409
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,310
♪ Uh-huh ♪
410
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,378
♪ And all my Harlem coquettes ♪
411
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,981
♪ Mr. Otis regrets That
he won't be around ♪
412
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,549
Change key.
413
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,951
♪ You can tell the
mailman Not to call ♪
414
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,753
♪ I ain't coming
home Until the fall ♪
415
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,156
♪ Yeah, and I might not
get Back home at all ♪
416
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,024
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
417
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,393
♪ She came back, she came back ♪
418
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,596
♪ Looking good Like she should ♪
419
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,031
♪ She brought a 5'5"
Good Grace, alive ♪
420
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:18,267
♪ A little bit here
And a little bit there ♪
421
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,669
♪ Here a bit, there a bit
Everywhere a little bit ♪
422
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:25,407
♪ Lulu is back in town ♪
423
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,543
♪ Yeah ♪
424
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,267
♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪
425
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,629
Thank you very much,
Sanford and Song.
426
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,230
And now we'd like
to move right along,
427
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,231
ladies and gentlemen,
428
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:50,633
and I'd like to have you meet
429
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:53,569
my one and only wonderful
nephew in the whole wide world.
430
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:54,970
I'm sure you've
heard of him before,
431
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,905
tops in taps.
432
00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,631
Here he is, Lamont
Sanford from the junk place.
433
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,776
I just helped Aunt Frances
move into her new apartment.
434
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,077
That's good, son. Yeah.
435
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:24,546
Hey, listen to this ad for
the basement apartment.
436
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:25,547
Hey wait a minute, Pop.
437
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:27,683
That apartment
is in no condition
438
00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:28,751
to be rented out.
439
00:23:28,775 --> 00:23:30,352
The pipes need fixing.
440
00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:31,553
Oh, you crazy?
441
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:32,988
There ain't nothing
wrong with them pipes.
442
00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:34,590
All we need is
a tenant in there,
443
00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:37,214
because the mortgage payment
is due day after tomorrow.
444
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,296
Hello?
445
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,964
Herald Examiner?
446
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,388
Let me speak to Herald.
447
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,539
Hello, Herald?
448
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:51,840
You remember me, don't you?
449
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:53,742
That's right, Fred G. Sanford.
450
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,978
Look, Herald, I got an ad
I want to put in the paper,
451
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,447
and get it right
this time, hear?
452
00:23:58,471 --> 00:23:59,782
Now here it is:
453
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:04,185
For rent, luxurious
two-room suite,
454
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:07,890
private entrance,
wall to wall floors,
455
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:10,859
drapes, carpeting,
and refrigerator...
456
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:12,961
Mr... Mr. Sanford, for
heaven's sakes, come quickly.
457
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:14,696
The pipes have burst.
The basement's flooded.
458
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:19,568
And a swimming
pool... and a sunken tub
459
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:21,837
and fresh fish every day.
460
00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:23,327
Yeah.
461
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:28,298
And the roof's gonna be flooded.
32166
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