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1
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,593
New shirt and tie
just to go somewhere.
2
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,393
I got them, Pop.
I got the tickets.
3
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,461
So what?
4
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,063
We've been waiting
for four weeks
5
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,364
to get these tickets.
6
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,366
You've been waiting for
four weeks to get them tickets.
7
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:30,967
I don't wanna see no
dumb television show.
8
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,969
I bet I know what would
make you feel better.
9
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,405
I called up that lawyer,
10
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,740
and he said if we can
prove that they're doing
11
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,943
that television
show about our life,
12
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:43,246
we can sue the
network for $1,000,000.
13
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,915
You got 'em! You got 'em.
14
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,150
You got the tickets!
15
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:48,685
I knew that'd make
you feel better.
16
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:50,810
Come on in.
17
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,328
How you doing, Aunt Esther?
18
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,997
Hello, Lamont.
19
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,661
Hello, Fred.
20
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:04,901
Hello, beautiful.
21
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,636
Oh, you calling me beautiful?
22
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,928
No, I'm looking at the junkyard.
23
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,143
Why, you fish-eyed...
24
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,687
I'll put this in your eye...
25
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,047
Hey, he don't mean
nothing, Aunt Esther.
26
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,317
And it's true. You look lovely.
27
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,985
Thank you, baby.
28
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,587
That's it, son.
29
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:26,756
Now you only got
six months to live.
30
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,992
Are those the tickets?
31
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,160
Yeah.
32
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,362
Did you get me one?
Yeah, I got four of them.
33
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,026
Rollo came through,
just like he promised.
34
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,428
Oh, good. Come on in.
35
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,038
Hi, everybody.
36
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,773
- Hey, Grady.
- Hi, Grady.
37
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:47,277
Say, Fred, it just
occurred to me
38
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:50,280
that instead of people
having to knock all the time,
39
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,149
you should get
yourself a doorbell.
40
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:55,718
You know,
something classy like...
41
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,821
♪ Dum, dum, dum ♪
42
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:02,025
♪ Dum, dum, dum ♪
43
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,026
♪ Dum... ♪
44
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,561
Grady, Grady.
45
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,763
As long as I got you, I
don't need no doorbell.
46
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,620
I got a dumbbell.
47
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,469
Hi, folks.
48
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,171
Hey, Bubba.
49
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,315
Hi, Bubba.
50
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,109
Hey, where's everybody
going dressed up so nice?
51
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:25,315
Well, we... We got tickets to
the hottest, newest TV show
52
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:26,316
in town.
53
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,717
Yeah? Yeah.
54
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:32,088
We going to see the
taping of Steinberg and Son.
55
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,326
Hey, you got an extra ticket?
56
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,360
Oh, I'm sorry, Bubba.
57
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,895
Rollo could only get four.
58
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,464
Oh, you know something?
59
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,766
I love that show, Fred.
60
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,368
It's just like it
was a direct copy
61
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,369
from your life.
62
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,737
Yeah.
63
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,939
Yeah, a mean,
grouchy old father...
64
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,041
Wait a minute.
65
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,267
The dumb son...
Wh... Hey, Bubba...
66
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:01,840
The ugly sister-in-law...
Watch it, sucker.
67
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,690
And the stupid, bumbling friend.
68
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,882
You too hard on yourself, Bubba.
69
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,763
Mm.
70
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:14,964
Well, have fun
71
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,766
and tell me about it
when y'all get back,
72
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:17,767
you hear?
73
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,536
All right.
74
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,705
Fred, I think Bubba's right.
75
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,973
That... That show
Steinberg and Son
76
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,742
is a lot like you and Lamont...
77
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,811
and that Aunt Ethel is
exactly like you, Esther.
78
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:34,584
And that dumb friend
is exactly like you,
79
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,486
only not as dumb.
80
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,889
Well, see, I don't
agree with that at all.
81
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,792
I mean, that dumb
friend is nothing like me.
82
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,161
If we can prove that
they're copying our life,
83
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,763
we can sue 'em
for a million dollars.
84
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,898
A million dollars?
85
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,235
Well, Fred, you know that
dumb friend on that show?
86
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,404
It is me to a tee!
87
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,306
Yeah, that's right, Fred.
88
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,874
Be honest now. Tell the truth.
89
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,643
I'm dumb, right?
90
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,612
Son, I think his case
is stronger than ours.
91
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,802
Let's go. Let's go.
92
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,085
Welcome to Studio Four.
93
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,687
My name is Saul Green,
94
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:13,990
and I'm the associate
producer of Steinberg and Son...
95
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,293
and I'm out here to kind
of get you warmed up
96
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:19,095
before we start the show,
get you in a good mood.
97
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,497
Uh... anybody here
from out of town?
98
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,499
Yeah, right here.
Where you from, sir?
99
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,267
Idaho. Idaho!
100
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,302
Wonderful.
101
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,103
Put on your shoes
and enjoy the show, sir.
102
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,137
Hey, one at a time.
103
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,207
We have what we
think is a wonderful show
104
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,309
in store for you.
105
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,478
And, uh-oh...
106
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,979
Oh, my.
107
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,982
You're a little late.
108
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,451
Everyone else was here on time.
109
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,619
Where were you?
110
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,153
Can't you control...
111
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,022
You folks are a little late.
112
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,255
Well, could you tell us...
113
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:55,532
Could you tell me
why you're late?
114
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:56,899
Nobody tells me nothing.
115
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,134
Excuse me, ma'am.
116
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,370
I told you we should've
gone on the truck.
117
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,805
Could you sit down
hurriedly, please?
118
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,005
Don't worry about sitting down.
119
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,808
I'll sit down when
I get to the seat.
120
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,112
Thank you.
121
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,048
You folks are late.
122
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,850
Now, how about giving
us an explanation?
123
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,252
Back off, clown.
124
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,287
Oh, I guess we're just
about ready to start.
125
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,324
Now, for those of you
who haven't seen our show,
126
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,326
it's about a junk
dealer and his son
127
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,662
who live in a ghetto.
128
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:26,796
That's it.
129
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,997
Now, are there any
last-minute questions?
130
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,399
Where's my million dollars?
131
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,633
Would you...?
132
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:31,701
Why do you always st...?
133
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,135
I should have never
brought you out.
134
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,537
Can you hold it down?
135
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,105
All right, folks. Here we go.
136
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,875
Get ready, relax, and enjoy...
137
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,010
Steinberg and Son.
138
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:52,455
That sloppy house
and that filthy yard...
139
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,724
That's just like your place.
140
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,648
Will you shut up, Grady?
141
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:06,536
Hi, Pop. I'm home.
142
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,971
Hey, is that dude
supposed to be me?
143
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,608
No, he don't look anything
like you at all, Lamont.
144
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,565
You're taller.
145
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:25,054
There, is that the guy
that's supposed to be me?
146
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,456
Hello, dummy.
147
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,927
He sounds just
like you too, Fred.
148
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,061
Shut up.
149
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,663
I'm getting tired of
you calling me dummy.
150
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,064
It's wrong for you to do it.
151
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,699
You've got no
reason to, so stop it.
152
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,535
Just stop it.
153
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,303
Listen to how you're talking.
154
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,704
It's amazing.
155
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,773
A boy who couldn't
graduate high school
156
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,396
has such a college stupidity.
157
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:48,711
I had to quit high school
158
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,513
because you had a heart
attack after Mom died,
159
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,036
and I had to help you out here.
160
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,153
You hear that, Naomi, darling?
161
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,322
It's all my fault.
162
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,757
I should've had a heart attack
163
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,692
after he graduated high school.
164
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,594
Eee!
165
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,538
Hello, Murray. Hello, Max.
166
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,529
Hello, Gabey.
167
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,277
What do you want?
168
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,212
What do I want? Did you forget?
169
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,882
Tonight's the night we
watch the monster movies.
170
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,617
It's a double feature:
171
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:31,053
Godzilla Comes Home For Passover
172
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,423
and Gork gets Bar-Mitzvah'd.
173
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,959
Oh, yeah.
174
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:39,395
So sit down and make
yourself comfortable.
175
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,763
Yoo-hoo, Murray.
176
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,398
In here, Aunt Ethel.
177
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,989
Oh, no.
178
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,276
Hello, Murray.
179
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,300
Hello, Max.
180
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,983
Look at her, Gabey.
181
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,851
She looks like an
Arab ran over her face
182
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:02,875
with a tank.
183
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:07,456
You watch it, you bagel-eyed...
184
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,258
You bagel-eyed lox!
185
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,794
You, you...
186
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,352
I'm sorry, people.
Uh, what is the line?
187
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,657
Fish-eyed fool!
188
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,007
Oh, save your face. I
know what I'm doing.
189
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,163
I got my rights.
190
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,783
I don't understand it at all.
191
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,418
If that guy is
supposed to be me,
192
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,875
why does he walk so funny?
193
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,690
I have no idea.
194
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,025
You know, watching
that show, Fred,
195
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:45,428
was just like watching
you and Lamont and Esther.
196
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:48,230
And what's a...?
What is a bagel?
197
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:52,001
That's a round hard
thing with a hole in it,
198
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,370
like your head, Grady.
199
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,371
Hey, you know, Pop, though,
200
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,372
that's true, man,
201
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,774
that story is based on our life:
202
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,209
the truck, the
initials, everything.
203
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,211
Everything but the aunt.
204
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:05,715
See, there's no
actress in the world
205
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,484
that could play Esther...
206
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,709
unless they dig up Trigger.
207
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,965
He didn't mean
that, Aunt Esther.
208
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,399
Hey, why don't you stop it, Pop?
209
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,434
Now, you know that lawyer's
gonna be here any minute.
210
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,836
We got that personal
business to discuss.
211
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,071
I can take a hint.
212
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,995
No, just take a walk.
213
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,410
Grady, will you see me home?
214
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,434
I've seen your home, Esther.
215
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,619
I didn't say "my home."
216
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:45,021
I said "me home."
217
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,022
Why?
218
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,024
There's all type of men
219
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,727
who might attack a person
walking the streets alone.
220
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,830
Yeah, Grady, and you
all go along with her,
221
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,814
then you wouldn't
have to be afraid.
222
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,167
Me?
223
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,435
Yeah, because they figure
224
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,838
any guy that could
put clothes on a gorilla
225
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,261
is too tough to mess with.
226
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,217
So, as far as I see,
227
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,087
we have a case here
of invasion of privacy,
228
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,321
as well as a violation
229
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,923
of your private
and personal right
230
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:21,924
to obtain profit.
231
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,126
How much?
232
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:26,663
All actionable both
at law and at equity
233
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:29,098
with remedies in
damages and injunctions.
234
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,432
How much?
235
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,934
I'm talking about
a million dollars.
236
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:32,958
Keep on talking.
237
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,773
Are you ready to go all
the way with this case?
238
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:37,874
All the way.
239
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,208
It may drag on for months.
240
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,209
I got months.
241
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,811
We may have to go all the way
242
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,212
to the highest
court in the land.
243
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,213
All the way.
244
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,882
Then you're willing 100 percent.
245
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,684
All the way.
246
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,018
See, this is America,
247
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:53,723
where right makes might,
where justice is blind,
248
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,059
where law is king,
249
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,660
and where man
should be able to pursue
250
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,095
his democratic rights
251
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,630
no matter how much it costs
him in time, effort, and/or money.
252
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:04,633
Wow, man, I'm proud
of you, Pop. Thanks, son.
253
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,570
Okay, I'll need about
$10 to file the complaint.
254
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,194
I drop the case.
255
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:14,243
I drop the case, and I
plead non compos mentis
256
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:17,936
and I apologize to your
habeas and your corpus.
257
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,282
Hey, Pop, what are you...?
258
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,851
What are you being
so cheap about?
259
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:22,985
It's only $10, man,
260
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,987
and we stand to
make a million dollars.
261
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:27,957
You're right, son. I
shouldn't be a cheapskate.
262
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,926
After all, what's $10
263
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,293
to get to the Supreme Court?
264
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,762
Ten dollars ain't nothing.
265
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,263
I'm not cheap.
266
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,820
Uh, give him $10, son.
267
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,024
Mr. Mac John,
this is Mr. Sanford.
268
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,772
Yeah, Fred Sanford.
269
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,273
Uh, Mr. Sanford.
This is Bert Lipson.
270
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,008
Hello, Bert Lipson.
271
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,042
Fred.
272
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,077
My son, Lamont.
273
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:22,211
Lamont.
274
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,212
How are you?
275
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,213
Our lawyer, Albert Brock.
276
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,214
How do you do?
277
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,382
Mr. Brock. Mr. Brock.
278
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,084
I'm Anthony Marvinowsky,
attorney for NBC.
279
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,351
How do you do?
280
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,719
This is my client, Fred Sanford.
281
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:31,788
Fred G. Sanford,
282
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,222
and if you got
my million dollars,
283
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,924
the "G" is for "goody,
goody, gimme,
284
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,959
and I'm gone."
285
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,761
Have a seat, please.
286
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,363
Thank you very much.
287
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,631
Now, to begin with,
288
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,100
there seems to be some question
289
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,401
as to whether you are entitled
290
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,568
to that million dollars.
291
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,071
To begin with,
there's some question
292
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,674
whether you are
entitled to your teeth.
293
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,042
Just what makes you think
294
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:56,045
that the show and the characters
were stolen from your life?
295
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,047
Well, we're in
the junk business,
296
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,816
our name is Sanford and Son,
297
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,017
we drive a red pick-up truck,
298
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,019
and we live in a house
exactly like the one
299
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,053
on your show.
300
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,122
But, uh, young man,
301
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,090
I'm sure you don't
suggest for one moment
302
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,726
that the character I play
is like your father here.
303
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:14,563
I'm suggesting it all the
way to the Supreme Court.
304
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,533
Surely no real human being
305
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,170
could be that mean,
disrespectful of women,
306
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,872
insulting to his own son,
307
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,695
and live in such a sloppy home.
308
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,034
Well, I know some
people like that.
309
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,349
But certainly not you.
310
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,784
Oh, no, no. Not me. No way.
311
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,221
Well, then, there
goes your case.
312
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,756
They do have a
little resemblance.
313
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,891
Then you are claiming
314
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,460
that the character
that Mr. Lipson portrays
315
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:45,850
is really you.
316
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:48,898
Well, all but the part
317
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,333
about where I treat my son bad.
318
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:51,334
See, I'm not that bad.
319
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,358
Pop... Shut up, dummy.
320
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,405
We rest our case.
321
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,507
Better get Bernie in here.
322
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,176
Katie, is Bernie on his way up?
323
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,377
Yes, sir.
324
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,612
Bernie Taub is the
creator and producer
325
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:04,780
of Steinberg and Son.
326
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:07,049
Now, perhaps this all
can be settled quite easily
327
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,886
if we just find out where
exactly he got his idea.
328
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,054
I'll tell you where
he got his idea from.
329
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,023
He came to Watts
and saw my place
330
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,958
and had it xeroxed
and brought it here
331
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,115
and sold it to some fool.
332
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:19,962
I bought the idea myself.
333
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:22,131
Well, no offense.
334
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,075
Some of my best
friends are fools.
335
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,625
Tell him about Grady, son.
336
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:30,539
Hi.
337
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,640
Mr. Sanford,
338
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,442
this is the man you
say stole your life.
339
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,546
Uh-huh?
340
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,579
Say, listen.
341
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,316
Are you the executive
writer and creator
342
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,550
of Steinberg and Son?
343
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:42,785
That's right.
344
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,708
Well, what you doing black?
345
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,958
Have you two met before?
346
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,927
Uh, no, we haven't.
347
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,395
Well, what gave you the idea
348
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:53,896
of doing Steinberg and Son?
349
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,432
It was about a year ago.
350
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,000
I couldn't break into television
351
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,936
with any of my ideas.
352
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,570
Then I heard about
these two people
353
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:02,939
from my cousin Rollo.
354
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,974
Rollo? Rollo.
355
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:08,144
See, the son was a nothing,
356
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,545
and the father was a nothing
357
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,414
who yelled at the
son all the time,
358
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,448
but no matter what,
359
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,750
those two nothings
really loved each other.
360
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,987
Now, are you
really trying to tell us
361
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:20,522
that you are those two nothings?
362
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:21,546
Don't you say that!
363
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,965
Hey, Pop, did you
have to hit that guy?
364
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,700
The head legal counsel at NBC.
365
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,036
Well, he shouldn't have
called you a "nothing."
366
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,205
Now, I don't mind him
calling you a dummy,
367
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,473
but you ain't "nothing."
368
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,941
What I can't understand
369
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,910
is why you simply refused
to continue the conversation.
370
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,779
Obviously, we had a strong case.
371
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,281
Yeah, I don't
understand that, either.
372
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,950
Well, see, I didn't
want to hurt the writer.
373
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,319
You know, because he
needed a break. He's nice.
374
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,721
Yeah, but I would think that
that would be the last person
375
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,190
you'd be willing to
help, Rollo's cousin.
376
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,391
It ain't got nothing to do
377
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:56,592
whether it's Rollo's cousin,
378
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,794
he just was a nice guy
who needed a break.
379
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,831
Hey, that's Rollo.
What's he doing here?
380
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,467
Well, I called him
up and told him
381
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,135
to bring his evilness over here.
382
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,169
What's happening, Rollo?
383
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,826
What's going on, home boy?
384
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,477
Say, man, what's happening?
385
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,279
Uh, Steinberg and Son
is what's happening, Rollo.
386
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:20,349
Did you or did you not
in fact tell your cousin,
387
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,850
one Bernie Taub,
388
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,053
about the life and
times of Fred G. Sanford
389
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,321
and his son Lamont,
390
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,456
hereinafter referred
to as the "nothings"?
391
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,624
Yeah, so what?
392
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,626
I mean, the poor brother
man needed a lucky break,
393
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,028
and I helped him.
394
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,263
And how much are you getting
from the studio each week
395
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,697
for coming up with that idea?
396
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,734
We're gonna sue NBC
397
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,637
for doing Steinberg
and Son about our life,
398
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,206
and this is our
lawyer, Albert Brock.
399
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,342
Hey, well, look here, pop.
400
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,743
I mean, you... You
and brother Brock
401
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,145
might have a case
here, you know,
402
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,113
if you wanna get
my cousin in trouble,
403
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,682
but, man, I'm not getting
one thin dime from it.
404
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,085
I mean, I gave the
brother the idea for nothing,
405
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:57,719
and now he's made
a break into TV,
406
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,121
and I hate to knock him out.
407
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:01,657
I hate to knock him out too,
408
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,259
but I don't hate
to knock you out.
409
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,616
I'll see you later.
410
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,366
Bert, Bert, there's
nothing I can do.
411
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,000
I'm sorry. We've got a contract.
412
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,736
Your salary is set. I can't
give you a penny more.
413
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,005
I don't want a penny more.
414
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:20,109
All I want is a rehearsal
hall without windows.
415
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,311
So pull the curtains.
416
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,346
I hate curtains!
417
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,014
I want walls.
418
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:27,483
All right, all right.
419
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,308
We'll... We'll have walls
built into the windows.
420
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,558
Thank you.
421
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,397
Hello, you.
422
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:42,853
Hello, me.
423
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,202
Mac, I've been
talking to Bernie.
424
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,703
Yeah, what's going on?
425
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:48,971
Bernie admits that his cousin
426
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,806
did get the idea
from Sanford here,
427
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,775
and he's got a case,
and a good one, Mac.
428
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,744
All right. How much do you want?
429
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,213
Two hundred.
430
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,315
Two hundred thousand dollars?
431
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:02,318
No, man, $200 a week.
432
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,619
Oh, yeah?
433
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,321
Yeah, and a title...
434
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:09,325
"Creative executive consultant
of Steinberg and Son."
435
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,059
All right.
436
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,895
And a small part every now
and then to help the ratings.
437
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,232
All right. And what?
438
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:19,235
And a dressing room
with my name on the door.
439
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,569
And?
440
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,705
And lots of windows...
Lots and lots of windows.
441
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,174
You got it!
442
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,609
Okay, well, thank you very much.
443
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,344
Good day.
444
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,478
And Mr. Steinberg?
445
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,513
Yes.
446
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,114
Now, let me tell you... Yes.
447
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,683
Now, when Aunt Ethel walks in,
448
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,318
you don't have to
say nothing to her.
449
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,102
Just stand there and
look at her like this...
450
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:43,347
You mean, like this...
451
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,756
Did you guys just eat
in the NBC commissary?
452
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,338
No, I... I just wanna
ask you a question.
453
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,407
If you were gonna write
a story about my life,
454
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,609
why didn't you make it
black, about black people,
455
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,178
and call it Sanford and Son?
456
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,446
Sanford and Son?
457
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,790
It would never make it.
458
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,255
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
here we are again.
459
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:16,992
The 14th episode
of Steinberg and Son.
460
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,235
Hey, Pop, I'm home.
461
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:28,704
Go to the telephone,
dial information,
462
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,207
and ask, "Who cares?"
463
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,408
Hey, listen, Pop,
you're gonna care
464
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,009
when I tell you that
there's somebody outside
465
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,611
who wants to buy
every piece of junk
466
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:36,845
we have in the yard.
467
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,180
Well, why are you letting him
468
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,471
stand outside, dummy?
469
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,853
Come right in, sir.
470
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:45,877
Listen...
471
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,325
I was driving by, and I noticed
472
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,860
all the junk that
you had here in the...
473
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:52,928
Hi.
474
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,232
Hold it.
475
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,032
Uh, hold it.
476
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,900
Now, let's take that line again.
477
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,502
Hey, I was driving
by, and I noticed
478
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:01,903
all this junk that
you have here...
479
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,038
Now, wait.
480
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,640
We have to take it
from your entrance.
481
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:05,674
Uh, I was driving by,
482
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,398
and we have to take
it from the entrance.
483
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,179
Hey, you wait a
minute. Director, look.
484
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,315
Now, this is all wrong.
485
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,517
Now, I wouldn't come in
through this door here like that
486
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:17,052
and say what I just said.
487
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,187
This show is going out
before millions of people.
488
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,356
It's got to be great.
489
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:21,724
Give me a cue.
490
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:22,748
I'll show you.
491
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:26,262
All right, get ready.
492
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,796
Give him his cue, Max.
493
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,064
Action.
494
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:30,299
Come right in.
495
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,134
♪ And would I be sure ♪
496
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:36,394
♪ That this is love
Beyond compare ♪
497
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:41,377
We got three minutes
before Steinberg and Son.
498
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:42,678
Hey, where's your
father, Lamont?
499
00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:43,879
Oh, he's upstairs
resting, Bubba.
500
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,281
Don't worry. He'll
be down in time.
501
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,016
For a man making
his debut on TV,
502
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,207
he's taking it pretty calmly.
503
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,535
Please, please,
everyone. No autographs.
504
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,036
Listen, son.
505
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,138
I'm afraid you're
sitting in the star's chair.
506
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:12,140
Excuse me.
507
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,376
Well, Grady, about
time to get it on, isn't it?
508
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,011
Ready when you are, F.S.
509
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,368
Ahh...
510
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,417
And now for the premiere
511
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:24,586
of a brand-new comedy
about today's teenagers,
512
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:25,954
All in the Family Way!
513
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:26,955
What?!
514
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,657
What's wrong here?
515
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:34,129
Hey, all.
516
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:35,564
Hey, Rollo, you
got the right time?
517
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:37,800
Hey, Pop, I know where
you're coming from, Jack.
518
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:38,834
You can stop worrying.
519
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,336
Steinberg and Son was canceled.
520
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,337
Canceled?
521
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:42,738
What? Yeah, man.
522
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:45,073
Coz said ratings were
so bad, bad, bad, man.
523
00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,017
Plus nobody even
watched the show.
524
00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:50,245
I thought the show
was just terrific.
525
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:51,580
Aw, man. Come on, Pop.
526
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:53,849
Admit it, Jack. I
mean, it was a bore.
527
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:56,084
I mean, who wants to
watch a grouchy old man
528
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,654
running across the
screen, yelling at his son.
529
00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:00,188
Man, that's dead.
530
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,924
Well, I got a new TV
show for me and you, Rollo.
531
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,493
Hey, that's slick,
Pop. What's it called?
532
00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:06,995
Well, it's called Rollo Derby.
533
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,797
See, that's where I
skate all over your face.
534
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:11,132
I'm gonna hit you. Say, man...
535
00:23:11,156 --> 00:23:14,291
No, no. Don't be mad.
Now, don't be mad.
536
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:21,710
Well, I think we got enough.
537
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:22,778
Call 'em, Fred.
538
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,179
They're sure to like one of 'em.
539
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:25,848
One of 'em?
They'll like all of 'em.
540
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:26,982
Hey, what you doing, Pop?
541
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:29,351
Oh, son, I was about
to call the network.
542
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,720
See, listen to these TV
shows we came up with.
543
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:32,954
See, now, first,
544
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:35,557
there's a police
show based on my life
545
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:38,215
called... Ko-junk.
546
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:42,564
And I got a new sports show
547
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:43,766
for you and your
friends, Lamont.
548
00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:44,767
Really?
549
00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:46,034
Uh-huh.
550
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,158
Yeah, it's called
Dialing for Dummies.
551
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,173
Would you stop it?
552
00:23:52,197 --> 00:23:54,376
You think that's good?
553
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,745
Mine is a musical
cooking show called
554
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,903
Eydie and Galloping Gorme.
555
00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:04,553
Yeah, son, and
here's the topper.
556
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:06,988
I mean, this is the
one that's sure to sell.
557
00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:09,658
It's about a family
of pioneer plumbers.
558
00:24:09,682 --> 00:24:11,293
I'm afraid to ask
what it's called.
559
00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:15,686
It's called Little
Outhouses on the Prairie.
38616
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