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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,600 I'm in love with you, Sando. Way to kill the vibe, Kevin. 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,800 I'll never, ever forgive myself for what I did 3 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,640 and I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, 4 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:08,960 that I'm so, so sorry, Susie. 5 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,360 Thank you. Your apology means a lot to me. 6 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,280 I just want to be good at something, you know? 7 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,840 Follow my dreams, like you. 8 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,000 Nicky's therapy is really helping me. 9 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:19,720 Oh, my God. 10 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,720 I'm guessing that Susie doesn't know. 11 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,240 You're not gonna tell her. We could do a deal. 12 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:28,280 All in favour of Sando leaving? 13 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,840 All those in favour of Sando staying? 14 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,480 You will lower your prices more than ever before. 15 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,600 I will lower my prices 16 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,360 more than ever before. 17 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,000 Oh! 18 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,520 Do 'em a deal, Mum! 19 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,840 Let's go, Sando! 20 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,520 Six-seater dining suite, 21 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,320 coffee table, console table, 22 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,800 chest of drawers, TV unit and bar, 23 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,800 plus laser disc player. 24 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,280 How much would you expect to pay? 25 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,720 A million bucks! 26 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,360 (LAUGHTER) 27 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,680 Let's go, Sando! 28 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,200 Not $799! Not $699! 29 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,280 Just $599 for the lot! 30 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,400 And I'll throw in an ergonomic chair free. 31 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,480 Mum's in a trance - buy up big while you've got the chance 32 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,120 at Sando's Hypno Sale! 33 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,560 Sando's Warehouse! 34 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,200 New stores in: 35 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,840 Shh! Do 'em a deal! 36 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,520 Let's go, Sando! 37 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,280 Who ate all the cereal and put the empty box back? 38 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,120 Who used all the hot water? 39 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,800 Who stole my car keys? 40 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,520 And the car that goes with those keys? 41 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,160 Mum, I made toast. 42 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,440 Took me a whole loaf to get it almost but not quite burnt, 43 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,120 just the way you like it. 44 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,440 Oh, I already ate. You eat it, darling. 45 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,440 OK. 46 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,360 God, what a morning! First of all, the hot water ran out. 47 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,160 Luckily I'd already washed my hair. 48 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,120 Then I started eating my cereal, it had all these sultanas in, 49 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,960 so I had to chuck the whole thing in the bin. 50 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,000 Then I went down to the cafe and Gary's car ran out of petrol, 51 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,440 so I bloody had to walk home! 52 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,640 What?! 53 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:11,960 Now I've gotta call the boss. 54 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,680 Has anyone seen my new sunglasses? Is this them? 55 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,200 Uh-huh. 56 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,960 Right. Vicky? 57 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,160 Mm? 58 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,840 Do you want to take it from here? 59 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,240 Me? You are the one who voted for her to stay, remember? Not me. 60 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,280 Things have to change, Vicky. Yeah, like she's ever gonna change. 61 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,720 Good talk, Dad. 62 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,280 There are a lot of happy washer-dryer combo buyers out there 63 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,920 who wouldn't want me to change. 64 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,280 Don't change, don't change. 65 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,720 They might, if they knew 66 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,200 you rooted their fiance on their washer-dryer combo. 67 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,720 Alright, sanctimonious Susie. How do you want me to change? 68 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,120 Therapy. With Nicky. 69 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,800 (LAUGHS) 70 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,160 Oh! 71 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,640 I thought you were serious for a sec. 72 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,360 So did I! 73 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,000 Therapy. 74 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,600 With her! 75 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,600 She scares the shit out of me. 76 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,280 Oh, I am. Dad's right. 77 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,080 This...has to change. 78 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,480 Otherwise you and I... 79 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,920 But that's up to you. 80 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,200 I just got fired again. 81 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,160 Just chuck me your phone, I'll do 'em a deal. 82 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,560 It's too late. 83 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,360 They said if I can't be at work on time to guard a watch shop, 84 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,000 then I don't respect time and I shouldn't be around watches. 85 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,640 Could you start by telling me what you want out of this session? 86 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,920 Yeah, sure. 87 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:36,320 Less of you talking and more of me reading 88 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,840 Five Foods that Aren't Just for Your Mouth. 89 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,520 Ooh! Calippos! 90 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,680 Uh, I am trained in several forms of holistic therapy, 91 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,960 laugh therapy, sound therapy and hypnotherapy. 92 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,840 Nicky, I used to train my sales staff, 93 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,880 so if anyone knows about psychological manipulation, it's me. 94 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,800 Do you like licorice straps? 95 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,640 I love them. Are they on the list? 96 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,000 No. But I made you think they were. 97 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,920 So, your little mind tricks aren't going to work on me. 98 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,840 (SIGHS) Oh, well, I guess Susie's right. 99 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,000 You're just not capable of being the mother she always wanted. 100 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,280 It's a shame. 101 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,040 Alright, Miss Nicky Di Napoli, 102 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,280 I have known you since you were 14 years of age. 103 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,760 Get out your hypno voodoo doll or whatever it is. 104 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,280 Just don't make me suck off a carrot 105 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,120 like I saw some poor woman do at the Rooty Hill RSL. 106 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,240 OK. 107 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,520 It was a...massive carrot! 108 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,800 Poor woman. Her whole family's down the... 109 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,320 Don't make me do that. Deal? 110 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,560 When I count backwards from three, you will no longer be selfish. 111 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,240 You will be generous, 112 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,320 perhaps replacing broken items recently borrowed. 113 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,600 You will be helpful to others around the house and the world at large, 114 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,640 in three, two, one... 115 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,120 (RINGS GONG) 116 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,480 Well, how do you feel? 117 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,920 Generous and...helpful... 118 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,320 ..to the household and the world at large. 119 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,080 Well, it won't work if you don't try. 120 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,480 Nicky, I've been trying to sit still for 20 minutes. 121 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,440 I've probably got deep vein thrombosis now. 122 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,880 Let's try another approach, huh? 123 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,240 See... Nicky? Nicky! 124 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,680 Why do you think I have sold 125 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,640 so many swivel recliners with matching footstools? 126 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,880 Because people love me... 127 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,360 ..just the way I am. 128 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,800 Nobody wants me to go changing. Except for your daughter. 129 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,400 Well, maybe you should try hypnotherapising her instead. 130 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,200 Never mind. 131 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,320 (SIGHS) 132 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,840 (KNOCKING) Knock, knock. 133 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,840 Oh, Kevin! Sorry, the door was open. 134 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,400 I've got nits. 135 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,480 Don't worry. I've already done his treatment. 136 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,640 They're from school. Winning! 137 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,600 Eric?! 138 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,800 Sorry to dump him here. He really wanted to see Eric for some reason. 139 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,440 I've also been baking a lot. 140 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,600 Right. 141 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,480 I had some left over. 142 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,720 There you go. Thanks. 143 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,720 Oh! Darling... 144 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,560 This is, um... Kevin. 145 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,240 I'm Gary. 146 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,320 So good to...finally meet you, Gary. 147 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,880 Yeah. 148 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,520 You've definitely got a type. 149 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,480 Those treats are for everyone, by the way. I made them myself. 150 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,680 Well... 151 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,480 I'd better get back to it. 152 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,000 She's starting up her own business. What sort of business? 153 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,800 Just, uh...online stuff. 154 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,080 What, sex toys? 155 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,000 BOTH: No! No. (LAUGHS) 156 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,920 It's just...you seem reluctant to say, so I figured... 157 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,240 It's just, um, logical stuff. 158 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,400 Computer shopping. Data. Maths. 159 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,520 Logistical supply chain management. 160 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,400 Coordinating products from vendors to customers. 161 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,400 Call centres, transportation, warehousing. 162 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,760 Oh, yes. Yes, you'd be using stimulation software. 163 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,160 Fantastic minimisation of resources. 164 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,480 Exactly. 165 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,120 And thank you. 166 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,600 Yeah. I'm in IT, so if you need any support, I'm your man. 167 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,920 I mean...not your man. 168 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,560 He's your man. 169 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,160 You know... (CLEARS THROAT) 170 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,560 Feel free to...hire me, any time. 171 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,800 Strictly professional, obviously. 172 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,280 Yeah. Um, thanks. 173 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,600 Yeah. 174 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,280 After all, there are 10 types of people in this world - 175 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,760 those who understand binary and those who don't. 176 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,280 (BOTH LAUGH) 177 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,120 That's...that's only two types. 178 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:49,960 Yeah. 179 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,080 Anyway... OK, well, uh, I'd better skedaddle. 180 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,560 So great to see you. 181 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,760 Gary. 182 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,800 I was, uh, worried about meeting you, but... 183 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,560 Wow. 184 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,280 I needn't have been. 185 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,720 OK, bye. OK. 186 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,240 Your ex is baking you cookies now? 187 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,040 Oh, they're for everyone. Yeah, I bet they're disgusting. 188 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,200 Kevin! 189 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,920 SONG: That's right 190 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,120 Oh...yeah... 191 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,440 You drive a 1970 E-type Jag? Oh, yeah. 192 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,080 A client couldn't pay me, so he gave me this instead. 193 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,200 Said it's worth a bit. Only about 200K. 194 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,280 Really? Wow. 195 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,800 That's way more than he owed me. 196 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,360 Listen, Kevin, about you giving gifts to my wife... 197 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,320 Oh, the cookies? They were meant for the whole house. 198 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,480 Really? Mm. 199 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,720 Love hearts? 200 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,360 OK, they were meant for Vic Junior's teacher, 201 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,320 but then we both agreed that would be harassment, so... 202 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,520 Right. 203 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,000 But still... No, you're right. 204 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,000 I just wanted to thank Susie for... 205 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,560 ..you know, forgiving me and not hating me. 206 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,680 But it was inappropriate and...I'm sorry. 207 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,600 It'll never happen again. OK, good. 208 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,120 Hey, let me make it up to you. 209 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,640 Why don't you jump in, take this baby for a spin? 210 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,000 Ah...I can't. 211 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,840 Ah, come on! Get in. 212 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,320 She's wasted on me. 213 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,280 I'm hopeless without power steering and park assist. 214 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,800 Come on. Jump in. 215 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,400 No. Yes. 216 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,720 Sorry. 217 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,520 You'll love it. I'm busy. 218 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:43,960 No, you're not. I'm out of work. 219 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,440 Perfect. But Susie... 220 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,520 She won't know. I haven't had a shower. 221 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,920 Get in there. I tend to drink and drive. 222 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,920 Hashtag YOLO. I've got a rash. 223 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,360 Me too. Really? 224 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,040 Yeah. It's huge. 225 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,760 La-la-la... OK. 226 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:57,840 Yeah? 227 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,720 Kevin was just here, dropping off Vic Junior. 228 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,960 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 229 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,120 Was that awkward? Well... 230 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,720 Yeah... 231 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,800 I will make sure that that doesn't happen again. 232 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,040 What's that? Cup of tea. 233 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,520 What's it for? For you. 234 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,400 Why? That's a good question. 235 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,040 I was making one for myself and it seemed like the right thing to do. 236 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,040 Since when have you got a sense of what's right and wrong? 237 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,640 Well, that's a bit insensitive, Susie. 238 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,480 Since when have you been sensitive? 239 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,480 Well, that's a good question. 240 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,680 Maybe I'm coming down with something. 241 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,080 Look. 242 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,040 What is she doing? 243 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,920 Housework. 244 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,960 She just started doing that after she brought me a cup of tea. 245 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,000 Maybe she's actually had a stroke this time. 246 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,920 I did hypnotherapy on her. 247 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,840 She actually did a session? Yes. 248 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,480 It was like the hardest session I've had to do 249 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,680 since convincing Eric the tooth fairy wasn't a real girl, but... 250 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,240 ..maybe this one worked. No chance. 251 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,600 Sando doesn't know how to be anything other than Sando. 252 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,720 ERIC: I am! VIC JUNIOR: No, I am! 253 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,480 Get off me! You get off me! 254 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,040 How can I get off you? You're the one who's got me in a headlock! 255 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,680 Get over it, you loser! 256 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,080 What on earth is going on in here? Vic! 257 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,640 I hope you're sharing the good cushions with Eric. 258 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,920 You know the round ones don't stand up properly. 259 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,120 How's poor Eric supposed to make a fort with them? 260 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,480 It's not a fort. It's a cockpit. And I'm the pilot. 261 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,880 I want to be the pilot. 262 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,480 You can't be the pilot, you're a kid. 263 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,280 I'm a grown-up, like real pilots are. 264 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,880 Real cockpits aren't made of cushions. 265 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,720 Real pilots don't have nits. Do too! 266 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,360 Vic, he's right. 267 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:41,080 Real pilots don't have nits and Eric would make an excellent pilot. 268 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,440 I would? 269 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,840 Of course. 270 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,560 You can do anything you set your mind to, mate. 271 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:47,960 Except perhaps retail. 272 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,360 Really? Yeah, really? 273 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,520 Really. 274 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,600 I believe in you, son. 275 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,160 What the fuck just happened? 276 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,440 Oh! Excuse me! Language! 277 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,600 (CAR HORN HONKS) 278 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,080 Oh, yeah... 279 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,240 That was incredible. Thank you. 280 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,880 No, thank YOU. You're an amazing driver. 281 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,560 Yeah. 282 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,040 Sorry again about the cookies. 283 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,120 No, I possibly overreacted. 284 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,680 You know, I'm glad Susie's with you. 285 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,040 She's a great girl. She deserves the best. 286 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,520 Thanks, Kevin. 287 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,760 Seeing how happy you two are, I just... 288 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,720 ..you know, I get just a teensy bit jealous. 289 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,200 Not gonna lie to you, brother. 290 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,840 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. We're happy. 291 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,400 Sometimes I feel like I do everything, but I love her to bits. 292 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,800 Oh... She can be hard work, can't she? 293 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,640 Sometimes. You found that? 294 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,880 No. 295 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,520 Man, it's really tough to, uh... 296 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,440 ..to make new friends when you've got kids and work. 297 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,240 So, I'm glad we can be mates. 298 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,280 He wants to be mates with you? 299 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,400 Kevin's actually a really nice guy when you get to know him. 300 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,040 Oh... I DID get to know him. 301 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,480 And so did my mum. And now YOU want to be his best friend? 302 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,320 Well, not BEST friend. 303 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,840 You can't be buddies with my ex. 304 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,640 But you said you'd forgiven him. I did, yeah. 305 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,960 But he drives an E-type Jag. An E-type! 306 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,760 I don't care if he drives the Popemobile, 307 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,040 I am not comfortable with you and Kevin hanging out. 308 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,840 OK, fine. I'll tell him I'm not allowed to see him anymore. 309 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,560 Thank you. 310 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,720 What's this? Ooh, chocolate! 311 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,400 "Get some rest, tomorrow's a big day." 312 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,440 Why is tomorrow a big day? 313 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,720 Oh! Morning, guys. 314 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,440 What the hell is going on?! 315 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,120 What better way to herald a new and wondrous day 316 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,280 than with the sounds of the Aussie bush. 317 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,000 (KOOKABURRA LAUGHS ON RECORDING) 318 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,560 I just wanted to make sure 319 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,720 that you weren't late for work today, Gazmataz. 320 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,920 That's very thoughtful. Thoughtful?! 321 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:15,800 You don't have that job anymore, Gary, BECAUSE of Sando! Or ANY job. 322 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,880 And, Sando, can you please get out of our room?! 323 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,520 Oh! Fresh coffee and croissants! 324 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,120 (SIGHS) 325 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:34,000 Oh, good. Everyone else was woken up by that hideous racket too. 326 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,560 I kind of liked it. 327 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,040 Yeah, waking up like that makes me feel like I can climb mountains. 328 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,640 Waking up early has many benefits. 329 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,400 Increased productivity, better diet, reduced stress. 330 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,920 Alright, settle down, Pete Evans. Hands up who had a cold shower. 331 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,920 Well, I bet there's no milk for my... 332 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,560 Hmm. Well, that's way too much milk. 333 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,520 We'll never get through it before it goes off. 334 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,280 She made pancakes too? 335 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,120 (SIGHS) Sweet gluten. 336 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,240 She even did a big shop. You can hardly move in there. 337 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,560 Not that you'd need to move. I mean, it's for food storage, so... 338 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,680 Alright, Dad, we get it. Mum's a bloody angel, all of a sudden. 339 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,000 Now, now. Don't get up him. You're right. 340 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,480 This is all your fault. 341 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,000 My fault? Isn't this what YOU wanted? 342 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,880 A selfless mum? Yes... 343 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,800 Can't get more selfless than homemade pancakes with gluten. 344 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,000 But your sugar-free, salt-free, yeast fritters 345 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,400 are great too, hon. 346 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,000 Pancakes? No thanks. 347 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,360 Still digesting toast from yesterday. 348 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,240 Where are you going? Court? 349 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,680 Nope. I have an interview. For a job? Good on you, mate! 350 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,600 Better. For an aviation course. 351 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,320 I'm gonna be a pilot, just like I always wanted to when I was little. 352 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,800 You also wanted to be Dannii Minogue. 353 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,440 Well, it doesn't matter what you think, Susie, 354 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,200 because Mum believes in me, so I believe in me. 355 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,640 And nothing's gonna stop me. 356 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,080 I have the need - 357 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,200 the need...for speed. 358 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:55,920 See you, losers. 359 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,480 Uh... Yeah, hang on, mate. 360 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,400 Hang on, mate. 361 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,800 There you go. Thanks, Dad. 362 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,120 Wow! Wow, indeed. 363 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,080 This is so romantic. It's so romantic. 364 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,960 Thank you. Thank YOU. 365 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,120 Why do I feel like I'm speaking to a parrot. 366 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,880 Why does that arouse me? 367 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,320 Didn't you leave this invitation on my bed? 368 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,600 Didn't you leave this invitation on MY bed? 369 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,880 Sando. She booked us a couples massage? 370 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,760 It's really nice and...weird. 371 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,400 Well, nobody's home. 372 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,880 And like it says on the invitation, 373 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,080 maybe we do deserve a little bit of professional pampering. 374 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,840 (KNOCK AT DOOR) Mm! 375 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,320 It's the masseuse. 376 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,960 Just a second. 377 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,120 SANDO: Alright. Who's first? 378 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,400 What the hell?! 379 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,920 Alright, down you go. 380 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,160 Couple massage. Learnt how to do this in Hawaii. 381 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,280 Furniture conference, '97. 382 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,680 Help me! 383 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,720 (RHYTHMIC KNOCKING) 384 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,800 Gazza! Too soon for nicknames? 385 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,520 If not, can I be the Kevinator? 386 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,920 I'm glad you're here. I have something to tell you. 387 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,720 And please don't interrupt. Shoot. 388 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,440 I think... Sorry. I'm interrupting. 389 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,640 My bad. You go, buddy. 390 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,480 It's been really fun hanging out... 391 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,720 Oh, mate, no need to thank me. I have had a ball. 392 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,080 You know, I feel...I feel so alive. 393 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,840 We can't keep doing it. 394 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,960 What? 395 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,200 We can't... 396 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,400 ..see each other anymore. 397 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,600 But I thought we were mates. We...we were. 398 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,880 It's just... 399 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,560 It's kind of weird for Susie. 400 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,000 You used to be her fiance, and now she's my wife. 401 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,240 Susie's told you not to see me, has she? 402 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,320 Well, you have to make a choice now, buddy. Susie or me. 403 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,800 Obviously that's Susie. 404 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,680 I'm really sorry, Kevin. 405 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,640 Goodbye. 406 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,880 (DOOR CREAKS) 407 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,360 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 408 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,680 Kevinator... You really need to move on... 409 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,960 I'm here for dinner. Sando invited me. 410 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,080 I'd already said yes before you broke my heart a second ago. 411 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,040 And the name's Kevin, Gary. 412 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,600 (CLEARS THROAT) Three hours? I'm so sorry. 413 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,680 You kids can have these in front of the telly. 414 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,120 Special treat. 415 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,280 Yay! Yum! Let's watch Embarrassing Bodies. 416 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,480 ERIC: Oh, hot dogs! 417 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,240 Come on, Eric. You're having grown-up food. 418 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,360 Plus, I want to hear all about how your pilot's exam went. 419 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,040 I reckon I smashed it. 420 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,840 Finished heaps earlier than the others, 421 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,880 and I drew tiny aeroplanes on the test so they know how serious I am. 422 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,960 Of course you did. Just think. 423 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:17,800 One day, you will have hundreds of lives in the palm of your hand. 424 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:18,880 Oh, my God. 425 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,560 I'm sorry, but am I the only one who thinks having Kevin at the table 426 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,640 is a little bit inappropriate? What? 427 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,080 No offence, Kevin. None taken. 428 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,760 I just thought because Susie had forgiven him, 429 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,920 and Gary and Kevin are new best friends, that, you know... 430 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,600 (STIFLES LAUGHTER) 431 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,120 Let's not make this weird, Kevin. 432 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:38,480 Oh, great. Now I'm weird. I didn't say that. 433 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,400 But I'm hard work. Just like Susie, hey? 434 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,840 Excuse me? Yep. That's how Gary described you. 435 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,720 I was surprised. You were never like that with me. 436 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,320 Mate... 437 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,600 I think you've said enough. 438 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,840 Oh, no. No, no. Please do go on, Kevin. 439 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,600 What else did Gary say about me? 440 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,640 You know, that it feels like 441 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,440 he has to do the lion's share of the work around here. 442 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,080 Isn't that right, Gary? Yeah, but it's... It's more... 443 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,200 And that he feels like he can't make his own friends or his own life, 444 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,840 and feels like he's married into a cult. 445 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,080 Oh! No, no, no, hang on. 446 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,680 I did not say that. 447 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,920 Who's the leader of the cult? Am I the leader? 448 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,760 Yeah, sometimes he wonders if he'd opened up 449 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,000 that surf-shop-slash-pet-store up in Cairns instead of marrying you 450 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,440 he wouldn't feel so unfulfilled. 451 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,000 That sounds amazing. 452 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,440 I hope I get to fly to Cairns. 453 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,800 Unfulfilled? 454 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,320 I told you that in confidence, Kevin. 455 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,560 Oh, really? 456 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,040 I think he's talking about the surf pet shop. 457 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,520 That's actually a really great idea. 458 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,880 Nobody's stealing that idea because it's ludicrous. 459 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,320 "Oh, I'm gonna go and wax my board 460 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,600 while I pick up half a dozen Shih tzu puppies while I'm there," 461 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,080 said nobody, ever. 462 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,480 Thank you for dinner, Sando. Oh, you're welcome, darl. 463 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,240 I'll pick Vic up in the morning. 464 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,320 I'm no good to him like this. 465 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,960 His nit wash. 466 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,280 Oh! Kevin! See that? 467 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,840 Pilot reflexes. 468 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,360 Oh, I'm...so sorry, everyone. 469 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,760 That was just awful. It's all my fault. 470 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,040 What were you thinking? 471 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,240 Well, I was trying to do something nice. 472 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,240 To bring us all together, like a family. 473 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,560 ALL: Well, don't! 474 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,000 Aww! 475 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,680 Nicky? 476 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,200 You need to put her back the way she was...now. 477 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,440 Can I just...finish my...pumpkin? 478 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,720 What? A pilot can't risk getting accidentally hypnotised. 479 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:39,880 When I count backwards from three, you will be selfish and thoughtless. 480 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,440 Don't forget rude. With a filthy mouth. 481 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,320 Unbearable. Car thief. 482 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,600 The best mum ever. OK, guys, it's not a Christmas list. 483 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:52,880 Sando, you will go back to your old self in three, two, one... 484 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,520 (RINGS GONG) 485 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,080 How do you feel, Mum? 486 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,000 It's me, Eric. Your son, and future pilot. 487 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,360 Nice going. 488 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,360 (SIGHS) No milk. 489 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,400 Yes, my car keys are gone! 490 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,680 Oh, morning, everyone. Morning, Nicky. 491 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,120 Sleep well? Yes. 492 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,560 Uh, thank you. I slept very well, thank you, Don. 493 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,480 Oh, except there's no hot water. 494 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,880 Hey, there's heaps of space in the pantry again. 495 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,360 Settle down. 496 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:36,920 (PIERCING SCREAM) 497 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,200 Rian? 498 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,440 VIC JUNIOR: Awesome! Are we moving? 499 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,240 No, Vic Junior. 500 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,960 I decided to give it all away 501 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,520 when I realised it was just material possessions. 502 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,520 Yeah, my material possessions. 503 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,880 It's about selflessness, Don. 504 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,720 Things don't matter, only love does. 505 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,280 Can we all just hold hands? 506 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,320 Come on, in a circle, just for a sec. 507 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,880 Come on. Don... 508 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,920 Don, come here, just for a second. 509 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,920 Don't be such a fusspot! Here, hold hands. 510 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,000 OK, I've got something I want to tell you. 511 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,280 You're pregnant? Again? 512 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,720 Hmm? Uh-uh. 513 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,280 I've put the house up for sale. 514 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,760 You what? But it's our house. 515 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,000 Yes, but it's just a thing. 516 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,320 And the proceeds are gonna go to Bangladeshi orphans 517 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,400 who I have just learned make some of Sando Warehouse's furniture. 518 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,400 This is a joke, right? Where are we gonna sleep? 519 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,960 Well, I, myself, am downsizing to a tiny house in Wyong, 520 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,880 and you are all more than welcome to move in with me, 521 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,440 as long as you don't mind any extraneous luxuries like a toilet. 522 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,720 It's more of a pit. Does Wyong have an airport? 523 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,400 I could fly up on weekends? Nicky, what the hell? She's worse. 524 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,080 OK, I may have only watched 525 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,600 4 of the 10 instructional YouTube videos on hypnotherapy. 526 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,680 Let us give thanks to Mother Earth. 527 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,840 Thank you for the bounty... Nicky, can you do something? 528 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,360 Do something! Uh, OK. 529 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,040 Vicky! Hey, Vicky! 530 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,040 Selflessness. Vicky, snap out of it! 531 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,200 (RINGS GONG) 532 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,600 Let me be free from my possessions. 533 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,720 Let us give away those things that do not matter. 534 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,760 It's not working! She's in too deep. 535 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,920 OK, Mum. Mum, stop it. Stop it! Come back. Mum, please come back! 536 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,520 We want to the old Sando back! 537 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,040 Aha! (LAUGHS) 538 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,240 I knew it. 539 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,040 You thought you wanted that Sando, but you need this Sando, 540 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,080 a straight-up, honest, pain in the bum. 541 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,000 Nicky, what's going on? Uh, I fixed her. Yay! 542 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,560 What's going on is your hypno crap didn't work. 543 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,840 I was faking it. Fake it till you make it. 544 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,400 I always say that. 545 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,280 Doesn't really apply here, but... 546 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,080 You need me the way I am 547 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,120 'cause I make you feel better about yourselves. 548 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,560 I allow you to bitch and focus your anger 549 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,600 and, like it or not, I bring you lot closer together. 550 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,480 And there endeth the lesson. 551 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,280 Thank God! I'm exhausted. 552 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,600 I could do with a drink. 553 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,600 (PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES) 554 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,200 My exam results are in! 555 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,680 I didn't even see you study. 556 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,120 I didn't. I just believed in myself, like Mum said. 557 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,600 Wait, should I have studied? 558 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,000 (PHONE BEEPS) Oh, f... 559 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,720 SONG: Highway to 560 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,200 The danger zone. 561 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,720 Captions by Red Bee Media 562 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,200 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 563 00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:32,800 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41234

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