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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,600
I'm in love with you, Sando.
Way to kill the vibe, Kevin.
2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,800
I'll never, ever forgive myself
for what I did
3
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,640
and I just want you to know,
from the bottom of my heart,
4
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:08,960
that I'm so, so sorry, Susie.
5
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,360
Thank you.
Your apology means a lot to me.
6
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,280
I just want to be
good at something, you know?
7
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,840
Follow my dreams, like you.
8
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,000
Nicky's therapy
is really helping me.
9
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:19,720
Oh, my God.
10
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,720
I'm guessing that Susie
doesn't know.
11
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,240
You're not gonna tell her.
We could do a deal.
12
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:28,280
All in favour of Sando leaving?
13
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,840
All those in favour of Sando staying?
14
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,480
You will lower your prices
more than ever before.
15
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,600
I will lower my prices
16
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,360
more than ever before.
17
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,000
Oh!
18
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,520
Do 'em a deal, Mum!
19
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,840
Let's go, Sando!
20
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,520
Six-seater dining suite,
21
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,320
coffee table, console table,
22
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,800
chest of drawers, TV unit and bar,
23
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,800
plus laser disc player.
24
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,280
How much would you expect to pay?
25
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,720
A million bucks!
26
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,360
(LAUGHTER)
27
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,680
Let's go, Sando!
28
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,200
Not $799! Not $699!
29
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,280
Just $599 for the lot!
30
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,400
And I'll throw in
an ergonomic chair free.
31
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,480
Mum's in a trance - buy up big
while you've got the chance
32
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,120
at Sando's Hypno Sale!
33
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,560
Sando's Warehouse!
34
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,200
New stores in:
35
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,840
Shh!
Do 'em a deal!
36
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,520
Let's go, Sando!
37
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,280
Who ate all the cereal
and put the empty box back?
38
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,120
Who used all the hot water?
39
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,800
Who stole my car keys?
40
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,520
And the car that goes with
those keys?
41
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,160
Mum, I made toast.
42
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,440
Took me a whole loaf to get it
almost but not quite burnt,
43
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,120
just the way you like it.
44
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,440
Oh, I already ate.
You eat it, darling.
45
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,440
OK.
46
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,360
God, what a morning!
First of all, the hot water ran out.
47
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,160
Luckily I'd already washed my hair.
48
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,120
Then I started eating my cereal,
it had all these sultanas in,
49
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,960
so I had to chuck the whole thing
in the bin.
50
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,000
Then I went down to the cafe
and Gary's car ran out of petrol,
51
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,440
so I bloody had to walk home!
52
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,640
What?!
53
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:11,960
Now I've gotta call the boss.
54
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,680
Has anyone seen my new sunglasses?
Is this them?
55
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,200
Uh-huh.
56
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,960
Right. Vicky?
57
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,160
Mm?
58
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,840
Do you want to take it from here?
59
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,240
Me? You are the one who voted
for her to stay, remember? Not me.
60
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,280
Things have to change, Vicky.
Yeah, like she's ever gonna change.
61
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,720
Good talk, Dad.
62
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,280
There are a lot of happy
washer-dryer combo buyers out there
63
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,920
who wouldn't want me to change.
64
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,280
Don't change, don't change.
65
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,720
They might, if they knew
66
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,200
you rooted their fiance
on their washer-dryer combo.
67
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,720
Alright, sanctimonious Susie.
How do you want me to change?
68
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,120
Therapy. With Nicky.
69
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,800
(LAUGHS)
70
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,160
Oh!
71
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,640
I thought you were serious for a sec.
72
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,360
So did I!
73
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,000
Therapy.
74
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,600
With her!
75
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,600
She scares the shit out of me.
76
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,280
Oh, I am. Dad's right.
77
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,080
This...has to change.
78
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,480
Otherwise you and I...
79
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,920
But that's up to you.
80
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,200
I just got fired again.
81
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,160
Just chuck me your phone,
I'll do 'em a deal.
82
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,560
It's too late.
83
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,360
They said if I can't be at work
on time to guard a watch shop,
84
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,000
then I don't respect time
and I shouldn't be around watches.
85
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,640
Could you start by telling me
what you want out of this session?
86
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,920
Yeah, sure.
87
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:36,320
Less of you talking
and more of me reading
88
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,840
Five Foods
that Aren't Just for Your Mouth.
89
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,520
Ooh! Calippos!
90
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,680
Uh, I am trained in several forms
of holistic therapy,
91
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,960
laugh therapy, sound therapy
and hypnotherapy.
92
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,840
Nicky, I used to train
my sales staff,
93
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,880
so if anyone knows about
psychological manipulation, it's me.
94
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,800
Do you like licorice straps?
95
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,640
I love them. Are they on the list?
96
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,000
No. But I made you think they were.
97
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,920
So, your little mind tricks
aren't going to work on me.
98
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,840
(SIGHS) Oh, well,
I guess Susie's right.
99
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,000
You're just not capable of being
the mother she always wanted.
100
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,280
It's a shame.
101
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,040
Alright, Miss Nicky Di Napoli,
102
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,280
I have known you
since you were 14 years of age.
103
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,760
Get out your hypno voodoo doll
or whatever it is.
104
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,280
Just don't make me suck off a carrot
105
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,120
like I saw some poor woman do
at the Rooty Hill RSL.
106
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,240
OK.
107
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,520
It was a...massive carrot!
108
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,800
Poor woman.
Her whole family's down the...
109
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,320
Don't make me do that. Deal?
110
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,560
When I count backwards from three,
you will no longer be selfish.
111
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,240
You will be generous,
112
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,320
perhaps replacing broken items
recently borrowed.
113
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,600
You will be helpful to others around
the house and the world at large,
114
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,640
in three, two, one...
115
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,120
(RINGS GONG)
116
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,480
Well, how do you feel?
117
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,920
Generous and...helpful...
118
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,320
..to the household
and the world at large.
119
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,080
Well, it won't work
if you don't try.
120
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,480
Nicky, I've been trying to sit still
for 20 minutes.
121
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,440
I've probably got
deep vein thrombosis now.
122
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,880
Let's try another approach, huh?
123
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,240
See...
Nicky? Nicky!
124
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,680
Why do you think I have sold
125
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,640
so many swivel recliners
with matching footstools?
126
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,880
Because people love me...
127
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,360
..just the way I am.
128
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,800
Nobody wants me to go changing.
Except for your daughter.
129
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,400
Well, maybe you should try
hypnotherapising her instead.
130
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,200
Never mind.
131
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,320
(SIGHS)
132
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,840
(KNOCKING)
Knock, knock.
133
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,840
Oh, Kevin!
Sorry, the door was open.
134
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,400
I've got nits.
135
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,480
Don't worry.
I've already done his treatment.
136
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,640
They're from school. Winning!
137
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,600
Eric?!
138
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,800
Sorry to dump him here. He really
wanted to see Eric for some reason.
139
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,440
I've also been baking a lot.
140
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,600
Right.
141
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,480
I had some left over.
142
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,720
There you go.
Thanks.
143
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,720
Oh! Darling...
144
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,560
This is, um...
Kevin.
145
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,240
I'm Gary.
146
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,320
So good to...finally meet you, Gary.
147
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,880
Yeah.
148
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,520
You've definitely got a type.
149
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,480
Those treats are for everyone,
by the way. I made them myself.
150
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,680
Well...
151
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,480
I'd better get back to it.
152
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,000
She's starting up her own business.
What sort of business?
153
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,800
Just, uh...online stuff.
154
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,080
What, sex toys?
155
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,000
BOTH: No!
No. (LAUGHS)
156
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,920
It's just...you seem reluctant
to say, so I figured...
157
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,240
It's just, um, logical stuff.
158
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,400
Computer shopping. Data. Maths.
159
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,520
Logistical supply chain management.
160
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,400
Coordinating products
from vendors to customers.
161
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,400
Call centres,
transportation, warehousing.
162
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,760
Oh, yes. Yes, you'd be using
stimulation software.
163
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,160
Fantastic minimisation of resources.
164
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,480
Exactly.
165
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,120
And thank you.
166
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,600
Yeah. I'm in IT, so if you need
any support, I'm your man.
167
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,920
I mean...not your man.
168
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,560
He's your man.
169
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,160
You know... (CLEARS THROAT)
170
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,560
Feel free to...hire me, any time.
171
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,800
Strictly professional, obviously.
172
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,280
Yeah.
Um, thanks.
173
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,600
Yeah.
174
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,280
After all, there are 10 types
of people in this world -
175
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,760
those who understand binary
and those who don't.
176
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,280
(BOTH LAUGH)
177
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,120
That's...that's only two types.
178
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:49,960
Yeah.
179
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,080
Anyway...
OK, well, uh, I'd better skedaddle.
180
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,560
So great to see you.
181
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,760
Gary.
182
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,800
I was, uh, worried
about meeting you, but...
183
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,560
Wow.
184
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,280
I needn't have been.
185
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,720
OK, bye.
OK.
186
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,240
Your ex is baking you cookies now?
187
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,040
Oh, they're for everyone.
Yeah, I bet they're disgusting.
188
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,200
Kevin!
189
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,920
SONG: That's right
190
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,120
Oh...yeah...
191
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,440
You drive a 1970 E-type Jag?
Oh, yeah.
192
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,080
A client couldn't pay me,
so he gave me this instead.
193
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,200
Said it's worth a bit.
Only about 200K.
194
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,280
Really? Wow.
195
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,800
That's way more than he owed me.
196
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,360
Listen, Kevin, about you
giving gifts to my wife...
197
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,320
Oh, the cookies?
They were meant for the whole house.
198
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,480
Really?
Mm.
199
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,720
Love hearts?
200
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,360
OK, they were meant for
Vic Junior's teacher,
201
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,320
but then we both agreed
that would be harassment, so...
202
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,520
Right.
203
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,000
But still...
No, you're right.
204
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,000
I just wanted to thank Susie for...
205
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,560
..you know, forgiving me
and not hating me.
206
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,680
But it was inappropriate
and...I'm sorry.
207
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,600
It'll never happen again.
OK, good.
208
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,120
Hey, let me make it up to you.
209
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,640
Why don't you jump in,
take this baby for a spin?
210
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,000
Ah...I can't.
211
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,840
Ah, come on! Get in.
212
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,320
She's wasted on me.
213
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,280
I'm hopeless without power steering
and park assist.
214
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,800
Come on. Jump in.
215
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,400
No.
Yes.
216
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,720
Sorry.
217
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,520
You'll love it.
I'm busy.
218
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:43,960
No, you're not.
I'm out of work.
219
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,440
Perfect.
But Susie...
220
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,520
She won't know.
I haven't had a shower.
221
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,920
Get in there.
I tend to drink and drive.
222
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,920
Hashtag YOLO.
I've got a rash.
223
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,360
Me too.
Really?
224
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,040
Yeah. It's huge.
225
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,760
La-la-la...
OK.
226
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:57,840
Yeah?
227
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,720
Kevin was just here,
dropping off Vic Junior.
228
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,960
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
229
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,120
Was that awkward?
Well...
230
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,720
Yeah...
231
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,800
I will make sure that
that doesn't happen again.
232
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,040
What's that?
Cup of tea.
233
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,520
What's it for?
For you.
234
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,400
Why?
That's a good question.
235
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,040
I was making one for myself and it
seemed like the right thing to do.
236
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,040
Since when have you got a sense
of what's right and wrong?
237
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,640
Well, that's
a bit insensitive, Susie.
238
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,480
Since when have you been sensitive?
239
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,480
Well, that's a good question.
240
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,680
Maybe I'm coming down with something.
241
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,080
Look.
242
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,040
What is she doing?
243
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,920
Housework.
244
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,960
She just started doing that
after she brought me a cup of tea.
245
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,000
Maybe she's actually
had a stroke this time.
246
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,920
I did hypnotherapy on her.
247
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,840
She actually did a session?
Yes.
248
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,480
It was like the hardest session
I've had to do
249
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,680
since convincing Eric the tooth
fairy wasn't a real girl, but...
250
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,240
..maybe this one worked.
No chance.
251
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,600
Sando doesn't know how to be
anything other than Sando.
252
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,720
ERIC: I am!
VIC JUNIOR: No, I am!
253
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,480
Get off me!
You get off me!
254
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,040
How can I get off you? You're
the one who's got me in a headlock!
255
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,680
Get over it, you loser!
256
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,080
What on earth
is going on in here? Vic!
257
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,640
I hope you're sharing
the good cushions with Eric.
258
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,920
You know the round ones
don't stand up properly.
259
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,120
How's poor Eric
supposed to make a fort with them?
260
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,480
It's not a fort. It's a cockpit.
And I'm the pilot.
261
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,880
I want to be the pilot.
262
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,480
You can't be the pilot,
you're a kid.
263
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,280
I'm a grown-up,
like real pilots are.
264
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,880
Real cockpits
aren't made of cushions.
265
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,720
Real pilots don't have nits.
Do too!
266
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,360
Vic, he's right.
267
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:41,080
Real pilots don't have nits and Eric
would make an excellent pilot.
268
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,440
I would?
269
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,840
Of course.
270
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,560
You can do anything
you set your mind to, mate.
271
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:47,960
Except perhaps retail.
272
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,360
Really?
Yeah, really?
273
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,520
Really.
274
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,600
I believe in you, son.
275
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,160
What the fuck just happened?
276
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,440
Oh! Excuse me! Language!
277
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,600
(CAR HORN HONKS)
278
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,080
Oh, yeah...
279
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,240
That was incredible. Thank you.
280
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,880
No, thank YOU.
You're an amazing driver.
281
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,560
Yeah.
282
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,040
Sorry again about the cookies.
283
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,120
No, I possibly overreacted.
284
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,680
You know, I'm glad Susie's with you.
285
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,040
She's a great girl.
She deserves the best.
286
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,520
Thanks, Kevin.
287
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,760
Seeing how happy you two are,
I just...
288
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,720
..you know, I get
just a teensy bit jealous.
289
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,200
Not gonna lie to you, brother.
290
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,840
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. We're happy.
291
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,400
Sometimes I feel like I do
everything, but I love her to bits.
292
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,800
Oh... She can be hard work,
can't she?
293
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,640
Sometimes. You found that?
294
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,880
No.
295
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,520
Man, it's really tough to, uh...
296
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,440
..to make new friends
when you've got kids and work.
297
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,240
So, I'm glad we can be mates.
298
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,280
He wants to be mates with you?
299
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,400
Kevin's actually a really nice guy
when you get to know him.
300
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,040
Oh... I DID get to know him.
301
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,480
And so did my mum. And now YOU
want to be his best friend?
302
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,320
Well, not BEST friend.
303
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,840
You can't be buddies with my ex.
304
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,640
But you said you'd forgiven him.
I did, yeah.
305
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,960
But he drives an E-type Jag.
An E-type!
306
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,760
I don't care if he drives
the Popemobile,
307
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,040
I am not comfortable with
you and Kevin hanging out.
308
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,840
OK, fine. I'll tell him
I'm not allowed to see him anymore.
309
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,560
Thank you.
310
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,720
What's this?
Ooh, chocolate!
311
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,400
"Get some rest,
tomorrow's a big day."
312
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,440
Why is tomorrow a big day?
313
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,720
Oh!
Morning, guys.
314
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,440
What the hell is going on?!
315
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,120
What better way to herald
a new and wondrous day
316
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,280
than with the sounds
of the Aussie bush.
317
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,000
(KOOKABURRA LAUGHS ON RECORDING)
318
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,560
I just wanted to make sure
319
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,720
that you weren't late for work
today, Gazmataz.
320
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,920
That's very thoughtful.
Thoughtful?!
321
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:15,800
You don't have that job anymore,
Gary, BECAUSE of Sando! Or ANY job.
322
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,880
And, Sando, can you please
get out of our room?!
323
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,520
Oh! Fresh coffee and croissants!
324
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,120
(SIGHS)
325
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:34,000
Oh, good. Everyone else was woken up
by that hideous racket too.
326
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,560
I kind of liked it.
327
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,040
Yeah, waking up like that makes me
feel like I can climb mountains.
328
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,640
Waking up early has many benefits.
329
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,400
Increased productivity,
better diet, reduced stress.
330
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,920
Alright, settle down, Pete Evans.
Hands up who had a cold shower.
331
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,920
Well, I bet
there's no milk for my...
332
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,560
Hmm.
Well, that's way too much milk.
333
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,520
We'll never get through it
before it goes off.
334
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,280
She made pancakes too?
335
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,120
(SIGHS) Sweet gluten.
336
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,240
She even did a big shop.
You can hardly move in there.
337
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,560
Not that you'd need to move.
I mean, it's for food storage, so...
338
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,680
Alright, Dad, we get it. Mum's
a bloody angel, all of a sudden.
339
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,000
Now, now. Don't get up him.
You're right.
340
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,480
This is all your fault.
341
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,000
My fault?
Isn't this what YOU wanted?
342
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,880
A selfless mum?
Yes...
343
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,800
Can't get more selfless
than homemade pancakes with gluten.
344
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,000
But your sugar-free,
salt-free, yeast fritters
345
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,400
are great too, hon.
346
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,000
Pancakes?
No thanks.
347
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,360
Still digesting toast
from yesterday.
348
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,240
Where are you going? Court?
349
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,680
Nope. I have an interview.
For a job? Good on you, mate!
350
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,600
Better. For an aviation course.
351
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,320
I'm gonna be a pilot, just like I
always wanted to when I was little.
352
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,800
You also wanted to be
Dannii Minogue.
353
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,440
Well, it doesn't matter
what you think, Susie,
354
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,200
because Mum believes in me,
so I believe in me.
355
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,640
And nothing's gonna stop me.
356
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,080
I have the need -
357
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,200
the need...for speed.
358
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:55,920
See you, losers.
359
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,480
Uh... Yeah, hang on, mate.
360
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,400
Hang on, mate.
361
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,800
There you go.
Thanks, Dad.
362
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,120
Wow!
Wow, indeed.
363
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,080
This is so romantic.
It's so romantic.
364
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,960
Thank you.
Thank YOU.
365
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,120
Why do I feel like
I'm speaking to a parrot.
366
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,880
Why does that arouse me?
367
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,320
Didn't you leave this invitation
on my bed?
368
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,600
Didn't you leave
this invitation on MY bed?
369
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,880
Sando.
She booked us a couples massage?
370
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,760
It's really nice and...weird.
371
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,400
Well, nobody's home.
372
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,880
And like it says on the invitation,
373
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,080
maybe we do deserve a little bit
of professional pampering.
374
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,840
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Mm!
375
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,320
It's the masseuse.
376
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,960
Just a second.
377
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,120
SANDO: Alright. Who's first?
378
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,400
What the hell?!
379
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,920
Alright, down you go.
380
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,160
Couple massage.
Learnt how to do this in Hawaii.
381
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,280
Furniture conference, '97.
382
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,680
Help me!
383
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,720
(RHYTHMIC KNOCKING)
384
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,800
Gazza! Too soon for nicknames?
385
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,520
If not, can I be the Kevinator?
386
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,920
I'm glad you're here.
I have something to tell you.
387
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,720
And please don't interrupt.
Shoot.
388
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,440
I think...
Sorry. I'm interrupting.
389
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,640
My bad. You go, buddy.
390
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,480
It's been really fun hanging out...
391
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,720
Oh, mate, no need to thank me.
I have had a ball.
392
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,080
You know, I feel...I feel so alive.
393
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,840
We can't keep doing it.
394
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,960
What?
395
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,200
We can't...
396
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,400
..see each other anymore.
397
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,600
But I thought we were mates.
We...we were.
398
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,880
It's just...
399
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,560
It's kind of weird for Susie.
400
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,000
You used to be her fiance,
and now she's my wife.
401
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,240
Susie's told you not to see me,
has she?
402
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,320
Well, you have to make a choice now,
buddy. Susie or me.
403
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,800
Obviously that's Susie.
404
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,680
I'm really sorry, Kevin.
405
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,640
Goodbye.
406
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,880
(DOOR CREAKS)
407
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,360
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
408
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,680
Kevinator...
You really need to move on...
409
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,960
I'm here for dinner.
Sando invited me.
410
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,080
I'd already said yes before
you broke my heart a second ago.
411
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,040
And the name's Kevin, Gary.
412
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,600
(CLEARS THROAT) Three hours?
I'm so sorry.
413
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,680
You kids can have these
in front of the telly.
414
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,120
Special treat.
415
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,280
Yay! Yum!
Let's watch Embarrassing Bodies.
416
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,480
ERIC: Oh, hot dogs!
417
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,240
Come on, Eric.
You're having grown-up food.
418
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,360
Plus, I want to hear all about
how your pilot's exam went.
419
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,040
I reckon I smashed it.
420
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,840
Finished heaps earlier
than the others,
421
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,880
and I drew tiny aeroplanes on the
test so they know how serious I am.
422
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,960
Of course you did. Just think.
423
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:17,800
One day, you will have hundreds of
lives in the palm of your hand.
424
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:18,880
Oh, my God.
425
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,560
I'm sorry, but am I the only one
who thinks having Kevin at the table
426
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,640
is a little bit inappropriate?
What?
427
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,080
No offence, Kevin.
None taken.
428
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,760
I just thought
because Susie had forgiven him,
429
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,920
and Gary and Kevin are
new best friends, that, you know...
430
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,600
(STIFLES LAUGHTER)
431
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,120
Let's not make this weird, Kevin.
432
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:38,480
Oh, great. Now I'm weird.
I didn't say that.
433
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,400
But I'm hard work.
Just like Susie, hey?
434
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,840
Excuse me?
Yep. That's how Gary described you.
435
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,720
I was surprised.
You were never like that with me.
436
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,320
Mate...
437
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,600
I think you've said enough.
438
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,840
Oh, no. No, no.
Please do go on, Kevin.
439
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,600
What else did Gary say about me?
440
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,640
You know, that it feels like
441
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,440
he has to do the lion's share
of the work around here.
442
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,080
Isn't that right, Gary?
Yeah, but it's... It's more...
443
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,200
And that he feels like he can't make
his own friends or his own life,
444
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,840
and feels like
he's married into a cult.
445
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,080
Oh!
No, no, no, hang on.
446
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,680
I did not say that.
447
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,920
Who's the leader of the cult?
Am I the leader?
448
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,760
Yeah, sometimes he wonders
if he'd opened up
449
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,000
that surf-shop-slash-pet-store
up in Cairns instead of marrying you
450
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,440
he wouldn't feel so unfulfilled.
451
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,000
That sounds amazing.
452
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,440
I hope I get to fly to Cairns.
453
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,800
Unfulfilled?
454
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,320
I told you that
in confidence, Kevin.
455
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,560
Oh, really?
456
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,040
I think he's talking about
the surf pet shop.
457
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,520
That's actually a really great idea.
458
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,880
Nobody's stealing that idea
because it's ludicrous.
459
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,320
"Oh, I'm gonna go and wax my board
460
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,600
while I pick up half a dozen
Shih tzu puppies while I'm there,"
461
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,080
said nobody, ever.
462
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,480
Thank you for dinner, Sando.
Oh, you're welcome, darl.
463
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,240
I'll pick Vic up in the morning.
464
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,320
I'm no good to him like this.
465
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,960
His nit wash.
466
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,280
Oh! Kevin!
See that?
467
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,840
Pilot reflexes.
468
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,360
Oh, I'm...so sorry, everyone.
469
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,760
That was just awful.
It's all my fault.
470
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,040
What were you thinking?
471
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,240
Well, I was trying to do
something nice.
472
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,240
To bring us all together,
like a family.
473
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,560
ALL: Well, don't!
474
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,000
Aww!
475
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,680
Nicky?
476
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,200
You need to put her back
the way she was...now.
477
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,440
Can I just...finish my...pumpkin?
478
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,720
What? A pilot can't risk
getting accidentally hypnotised.
479
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:39,880
When I count backwards from three,
you will be selfish and thoughtless.
480
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,440
Don't forget rude.
With a filthy mouth.
481
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,320
Unbearable.
Car thief.
482
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,600
The best mum ever.
OK, guys, it's not a Christmas list.
483
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:52,880
Sando, you will go back to
your old self in three, two, one...
484
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,520
(RINGS GONG)
485
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,080
How do you feel, Mum?
486
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,000
It's me, Eric.
Your son, and future pilot.
487
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,360
Nice going.
488
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,360
(SIGHS) No milk.
489
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,400
Yes, my car keys are gone!
490
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,680
Oh, morning, everyone.
Morning, Nicky.
491
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,120
Sleep well?
Yes.
492
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,560
Uh, thank you.
I slept very well, thank you, Don.
493
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,480
Oh, except there's no hot water.
494
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,880
Hey, there's heaps of space
in the pantry again.
495
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,360
Settle down.
496
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:36,920
(PIERCING SCREAM)
497
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,200
Rian?
498
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,440
VIC JUNIOR: Awesome! Are we moving?
499
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,240
No, Vic Junior.
500
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,960
I decided to give it all away
501
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,520
when I realised
it was just material possessions.
502
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,520
Yeah, my material possessions.
503
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,880
It's about selflessness, Don.
504
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,720
Things don't matter, only love does.
505
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,280
Can we all just hold hands?
506
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,320
Come on, in a circle,
just for a sec.
507
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,880
Come on. Don...
508
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,920
Don, come here, just for a second.
509
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,920
Don't be such a fusspot!
Here, hold hands.
510
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,000
OK, I've got something
I want to tell you.
511
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,280
You're pregnant? Again?
512
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,720
Hmm?
Uh-uh.
513
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,280
I've put the house up for sale.
514
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,760
You what?
But it's our house.
515
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,000
Yes, but it's just a thing.
516
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,320
And the proceeds are gonna go
to Bangladeshi orphans
517
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,400
who I have just learned make some of
Sando Warehouse's furniture.
518
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,400
This is a joke, right?
Where are we gonna sleep?
519
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,960
Well, I, myself, am downsizing
to a tiny house in Wyong,
520
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,880
and you are all more than welcome
to move in with me,
521
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,440
as long as you don't mind any
extraneous luxuries like a toilet.
522
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,720
It's more of a pit.
Does Wyong have an airport?
523
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,400
I could fly up on weekends?
Nicky, what the hell? She's worse.
524
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,080
OK, I may have only watched
525
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,600
4 of the 10 instructional
YouTube videos on hypnotherapy.
526
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,680
Let us give thanks to Mother Earth.
527
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,840
Thank you for the bounty...
Nicky, can you do something?
528
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,360
Do something!
Uh, OK.
529
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,040
Vicky! Hey, Vicky!
530
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,040
Selflessness.
Vicky, snap out of it!
531
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,200
(RINGS GONG)
532
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,600
Let me be free from my possessions.
533
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,720
Let us give away those things
that do not matter.
534
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,760
It's not working!
She's in too deep.
535
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,920
OK, Mum. Mum, stop it. Stop it!
Come back. Mum, please come back!
536
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,520
We want to the old Sando back!
537
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,040
Aha! (LAUGHS)
538
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,240
I knew it.
539
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,040
You thought you wanted that Sando,
but you need this Sando,
540
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,080
a straight-up, honest,
pain in the bum.
541
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,000
Nicky, what's going on?
Uh, I fixed her. Yay!
542
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,560
What's going on
is your hypno crap didn't work.
543
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,840
I was faking it.
Fake it till you make it.
544
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,400
I always say that.
545
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,280
Doesn't really apply here, but...
546
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,080
You need me the way I am
547
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,120
'cause I make you feel better
about yourselves.
548
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,560
I allow you to bitch
and focus your anger
549
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,600
and, like it or not,
I bring you lot closer together.
550
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,480
And there endeth the lesson.
551
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,280
Thank God! I'm exhausted.
552
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,600
I could do with a drink.
553
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,600
(PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES)
554
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,200
My exam results are in!
555
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,680
I didn't even see you study.
556
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,120
I didn't. I just believed in myself,
like Mum said.
557
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,600
Wait, should I have studied?
558
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,000
(PHONE BEEPS)
Oh, f...
559
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,720
SONG: Highway to
560
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,200
The danger
zone.
561
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,720
Captions by Red Bee Media
562
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,200
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
563
00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:32,800
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41234
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