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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,760 Shit! You're pregnant?! I'm in love with you, Sando. 2 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:06,520 MAN: You had a kid with your daughter's fiance. 3 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,120 (SCREAMING) 4 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:10,680 I'm the one who's paying for the wedding. Susie! 5 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,040 I've been the face of this company for 20 years. 6 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,840 The board wants you to stand down. 7 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,920 Stay, please. I've got nowhere else to go. 8 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,680 Special delivery for the birthday girl. 9 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,040 Horse-some! 10 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,800 I'm here because I thought maybe we could start again. 11 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,760 Mummy! 12 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,360 GARY: Susie! 13 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,720 The pool house? 14 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,480 It's just a couple of days. 15 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:36,360 Till you recover. Yeah, a couple of days, tops. 16 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,400 (HIGH-SPEED CHATTERING) 17 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,640 MAN: You want how much for a sofa bed? 18 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,400 (HIGH-SPEED CHATTERING) Oh, forget it. 19 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,480 Sick of being ripped off by other furniture stores? 20 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,520 Get down to Sando's Warehouse, 21 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,760 where you won't be sorry at our Don't Be Sorry Sale. 22 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,800 Let's go, Sando! 23 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,120 Sorry, Mum. Don't be sorry. 24 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,880 Foam sofa beds starting at $179. 25 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,320 Come on, do 'em a deal... 26 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,760 Sorry, Mum. Don't be sorry. 27 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,560 Spacious 6-drawer dresser, only 99 bucks. 28 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,400 BOTH: Dad! Sorry, kids! 29 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,680 Don't be sorry. 30 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,160 Durable stacking stools - 31 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,680 buy one, get one free. 32 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,000 Get down to our Don't Be Sorry Sale today. 33 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,320 VOICEOVER: Sando's Warehouse. 34 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,280 New stores in Buttamoyne, Woodbush, Poondup and Yag. 35 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,360 You'll never be sorry again. 36 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,480 (SNORES) 37 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,080 (CLICK!) (GASPS) Christ. 38 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,200 Eric, what are you doing? 39 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,120 Just kicking off the best day I've had in years. 40 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,320 Cappuccino? Oh. 41 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,800 That's very attentive. 42 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:49,480 (SQUEALS) 43 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,440 I miss these special mother-son moments. 44 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,880 Look, Eric... Can't look. Eyes totally shut. 45 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,920 I'll go get you some moisturiser. 46 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,320 Ooh! 47 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,720 Oh! Floss? 48 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,680 I'm really good with molars. Mate. 49 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,800 Or we can start with canines. 50 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,560 Give it here a sec. 51 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,040 Oh! Spider web! 52 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,680 I knew I should have stood my ground and made her go. 53 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,240 God, I'm so stressed I can feel my brain pulsing. 54 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,800 I need therapy. Where's Nicky? 55 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,480 Maybe she's off trying to finish the last two years of her degree. 56 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,360 Gary, like I told her, 57 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,400 living here and learning on the job is much better than any degree. 58 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,360 Babe, your mum's staying here for two days, OK? 59 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,440 She probably just wants to apologise for all... 60 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,880 Gary! I know what my mother is capable of, 61 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,840 and that is having sex with my partner. 62 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,920 And what she's not capable of is apologising 63 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,680 and keeping a promise and staying only a couple of days. 64 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,920 Well, if you're worried about her 65 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,680 sleeping with THIS partner, don't be. 66 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,760 Not what I'm worried about. 67 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,760 Because I love you. Yeah, not worried, Gary. 68 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,560 And only you. I love you too. 69 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,360 And I love our relationship. 70 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,240 Lust, passion, spontaneity. 71 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,680 Those things don't matter to us. No, we're much more than that. 72 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:06,080 We're based on trust and honesty and not having secrets from each other 73 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,720 and really transparency's the thread 74 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,120 that holds our marriage together. 75 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,360 Why are your pants down? 76 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,480 My belt broke. 77 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,480 Is that true? No. 78 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,000 I thought we were gonna have sex. 79 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Ew. Not with my mum around. But sex is good for stress. 80 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,680 Oh, what, so now you're the therapist? 81 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,920 A sex therapist. 82 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,200 Pants on, Gary. I've got to find Nicky. 83 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,240 Hey. 84 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,280 I can't believe you made me sleep in the spare room last night. 85 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,040 Well, that's where everyone thinks you're staying. 86 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,280 And with Sando around, I didn't think we should be taking any risks. 87 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,240 Oh, yeah. Risks like this? Oh, here? 88 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,880 Well, no-one's around. Yeah, but on the food, you know. 89 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,960 But food can be sexy. 90 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,360 Peanut butter? Mm-hm. 91 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,080 How? Well, now, let's try something. 92 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,640 Um... 93 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,680 Oh, my God. Please tell me this isn't what it looks like. 94 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,400 Don's belt broke. 95 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,400 Oh, great. It's exactly what it looks like. 96 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,240 And with peanut butter? 97 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,680 OK, Gary, the truth is, and don't tell Susie... 98 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,320 Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh! I'm not allowed to have secrets from her. 99 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,480 It's in our vows. 100 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,520 Our marriage is made up of transparent threads or something. 101 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,920 You know what? Put the peanut butter away. 102 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,560 I don't want to know about it. SUSIE: Gary! 103 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,600 Shit. 104 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,200 Just grabbing the peanut butter! 105 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,480 OK. Um, Nicky's not in her room. She's not in there. 106 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,360 I mean, that's the pantry, why would she... 107 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,160 I'm just grabbing Weet-Bix. Oh, it's all gone. 108 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,800 It can't be all gone. I bought a giant box of it yesterday. 109 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,720 I ate it. The whole box? 110 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,640 Gary, that is way too much fibre. 111 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,560 It was a dare from Eric. 112 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,160 Oh, well, I'll just have Nutri-Grain. 113 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,560 It was a double dare. 114 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,560 What is going on? 115 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000 OK, what's really going on... 116 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,280 Mmm. ..is... 117 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,120 ..I'm taking you out for pancakes. 118 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,960 You and me. Ready? 119 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,960 Great, let's go. SANDO: Pancakes? 120 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,480 Don't forget about me. 121 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,520 How'd you find your way in? I'm not a fucking idiot, Susie. 122 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,000 The pool house is right there. 123 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,840 Let me rephrase. 124 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,120 WHY did you find your way in? 125 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,400 Because I've just had a brilliant idea. 126 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,680 Sunday night TV and takeaway family dinner night. 127 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,760 What? Like the good old days. 128 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,120 I assume YOU won't be joining us 129 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,520 because you certainly didn't back then. 130 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:25,480 Oh, come on, you saw me over dinner when my ads came on at least. 131 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,080 I think it's time we go over the ground rules 132 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,640 for your very, very temporary stay here. 133 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,760 I'm not sure two 'very's was necessary. 134 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,280 While you're here, 135 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,840 I don't want to see you, hear you or talk to you. 136 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:38,960 I'll do you a deal. 137 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:43,080 You give me one see, two hears and you can keep the talks. 138 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,800 And in return, you have to forgive me. 139 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,080 Because I can't go on feeling like a piece of shit 140 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,040 for something that happened 10 years ago, 141 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,200 and then we could all bloody well move on! 142 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,120 How about a 'sorry', Mum? 143 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,160 Just an idea. How about a sorry? 144 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,960 I said that. No, you haven't. 145 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,720 Oh, yes, of course I said... 146 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,720 (DON SNEEZES) 147 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,880 Oh, wow! Ha! 148 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,400 That was me. 149 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,400 Allergic to confrontation. 150 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,760 So, are we good here? No, you did not. 151 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,200 Fine. 152 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,200 (TENTATIVELY) I'm sorry. Not bad. 153 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,680 Definitely heard some regret. 154 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,920 OK, OK, OK. 155 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,880 Sorry. 156 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,480 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Goose bumps. 157 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,440 Sorry. No, you're not. 158 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,920 Oh. They're just words to you. 159 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,200 You don't even mean it. OK, how about this? 160 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,640 Sorry! Oh-oh. Well, that was a spectacle. 161 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,760 Good enough, I reckon. 162 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,320 Actions speak louder than words, Mum. 163 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,680 Have a little think about that. Alright. 164 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,440 Well, what the hell was that? 165 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,680 That was a bloody great, big action. 166 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,240 Empty, Mum. Meaningless. 167 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,120 Suse. Suse, come on. (DOORBELL CHIMES) 168 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,400 What have I gotta do? 169 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,600 (DOORBELL CHIMES) 170 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,680 Can somebody get that, please?! 171 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,200 I have to do everything in this house. 172 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,240 Answer the door, drink all the wine. 173 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,160 We have to be more careful. Yes. 100%. 174 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,440 Hello, small man. Who are you? 175 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,120 Wassup? I'm Sando's son. 176 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,960 No, you're not. I am. 177 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,640 Well, you're both right. 178 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,560 Vic Junior, meet Eric. 179 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,920 Eric, meet your baby brother Vic Junior. 180 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,960 Half-brother. Hello, half-brother. 181 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,160 Where's your dad? 182 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,720 Oh, Kevin's too scared of Susie, 183 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,880 so he dropped me off and made me count to 20 184 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,000 before I rang the doorbell. 185 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,600 Well, seeing as how it's my week, 186 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,280 you're gonna have to stay in the pool house with me. 187 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,280 Sweet. Wait. 188 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,120 He gets to stay with you in your room? 189 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,360 Oh, yeah, you're right. It's not the best place for a kid. 190 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,440 Child Services will have a fit. He can bunk in your room with you. 191 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,280 My room? Here you go. 192 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,560 Huh? We still on for the footy, Sando? 193 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,240 Wouldn't miss it, son. 194 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:05,800 Ow! Oh, man. 195 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,840 Eric! Sorry. 196 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,600 So, where's our room? 197 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,280 Oh, wow. What's this? 198 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,000 Do you like Star Wars? 199 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,840 I have a signed poster of Jar Jar Binks from the original Star Wars, 200 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,480 so, yeah, I like Star Wars. 201 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,600 Jar Jar wasn't in the original. 202 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,040 Uh, yes, he was - Episode I Phantom Menace. 203 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,040 Now, tell me more about this footy. 204 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,240 Sando and I watch it every Sunday. 205 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,120 Hey, bunk beds, man! Bro! 206 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,160 The top is mine and off limits. 207 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,840 Like the sign says. Why do you have a sign? 208 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,040 You'll be sleeping here. Hey, Eric, have you seen Nicky? 209 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,640 Hi. Susie, right? 210 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,320 I'm Vic Junior. Sando's son. He means her other son. 211 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,720 I know this must be super-weird for you. 212 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,560 I was nearly your son, then Kevin and Sando go make me your brother. 213 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:56,720 Half-brother. 214 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,560 But, Suse... Can I call you Suse? 215 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,160 Huh. Don't make me a symbol of your hate. 216 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,240 I did nothing wrong and neither did you. 217 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,800 So, the way I see it, 218 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,600 we're just two innocent bystanders 219 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,160 who happen to have the same nose, yeah? 220 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,880 Yeah. OK. 221 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,760 Thanks. Hey, Suse? 222 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,520 I like your nose. 223 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,160 Good. 224 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,200 DICK Junior's here? Gary, that's not very nice. 225 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,440 Dick Junior's the nickname YOU gave him. 226 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:32,280 Look, I thought I hated Vic Junior, but now that I've met him, 227 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,480 I think I might actually like him. 228 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,720 Even though he's got my nose 229 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,680 and the interview skills of a hostage negotiator. 230 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,600 Really? See, baby? 231 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,440 Nicky's therapy is really helping me. 232 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,960 Six months ago I would have drowned that kid in the pool. 233 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,800 But now I actually think he might be my favourite brother. 234 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,960 OK, with the exception of Sando... 235 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,560 ..I'm in a really healthy place. 236 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,960 Hey, does that mean that you can handle anything? 237 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,560 Good, bad, something really, really wrong? 238 00:09:58,560 --> 00:09:59,720 Mm-hm. 239 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,840 OK, I'm so happy to hear that 'cause there's this thing that I... 240 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,320 'Cause I guess I finally feel like 241 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,840 this is the first time people aren't out to betray me. 242 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,040 And that's down to Nicky. Right. 243 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,760 I mean, of course if someone DID betray me, 244 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,600 I would probably stab everyone involved. 245 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,320 Right. Mm. 246 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,400 Oh, there's Rian. She would never betray you. 247 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,560 Not now, Daddy. 248 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,360 I have something to say and I don't want to forget any of the words. 249 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,880 How cute. 250 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,560 Is this for school? 251 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,040 I love my family. 252 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,640 There's nothing more important than family, or something. 253 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,200 And sometimes in life bad things are actually good. 254 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,600 Like chocolate and grandmas. 255 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,120 So from my heart to yours, isn't it time to forget Sando? 256 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,480 I meant isn't it time to forbid Sando? 257 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,320 SANDO: (WHISPERS) No, FORGIVE Sando. 258 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,520 Isn't it time to for-something Sando? 259 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,400 (WHISPERS) Give! Give! 260 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,680 ..me... 261 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:57,760 Oh, am I intruding in whatever... whatever's going on here? 262 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,880 Using my daughter now? 263 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,600 I cannot believe you would stoop so low. 264 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,800 Me? 265 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,760 What makes you think I have anything to do with what's going on here? 266 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,040 Shit. 267 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,360 Oops. 268 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,880 I accidentally said one of your no-no words, Grandma. 269 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,920 It was cute swearing. 270 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,840 You just can't find a way to be sincere, can you? 271 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,960 What are you talking about? That was sincere, wasn't it? 272 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,960 Stay away from my daughter. 273 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,360 You ruined yours, you are not going to ruin mine. 274 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,120 Oh! I don't know how you do it, Gary. 275 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,280 She's a total nut-case handful. 276 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,960 (MUTTERS UNDER BREATH) 277 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,960 DON: Oh! Bloody hell! 278 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,120 Um, uh...Gary, that was break-up sex, mate. 279 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,280 Oh, yeah? Well, then how come there wasn't any crying? 280 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,240 There's always crying in my experience. 281 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:54,640 At least from me. 282 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:59,000 Look, it started off as break-up sex but then it turned into make-up sex. 283 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,880 Why are you having ANY sex? 284 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,720 Susie cannot handle another betrayal. 285 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,360 You're her dad. And you're her best friend. 286 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,760 The only people you should be rooting is anyone but each other. 287 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,720 Crunchy peanut butter? I mean, doesn't the texture... 288 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,480 Whatever it's for, it's very difficult to fully visualise. 289 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,960 You should be ashamed of yourself. 290 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:22,760 Ashamed! 291 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,400 Your mama stuffed up, Vic. 292 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,360 I shouldn't have used Rian like that. 293 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,440 Yeah. Terrible actress. 294 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,840 Susie will never forgive me at this rate. 295 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:39,000 Go, Luke! Yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes! 296 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,760 NO! 297 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,680 Eric, shush. The footy's on. 298 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,680 Yes! Go, you good thing! 299 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,240 Hey, Mum, surprise. I got us movie tickets. 300 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,280 I thought we could have some special mother-son time. 301 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:54,000 Oh, Eric, that's very sweet, but I'm actually having some right now. 302 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,720 Mum, these tickets are non-refundable. 303 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,360 I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I've got a lot to do. 304 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,200 I've got to order a takeaway dinner for... 305 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,480 Why don't you take Vic Junior? He loves the movies. 306 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,360 Me? Why do I have to babysit? 307 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,360 I'm not a baby. Alright, you two. 308 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,000 Eric, it'll be fun. It'll be just like I'm there. 309 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,440 Theatres are dark, our laughs are identical. 310 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,200 (LAUGHS) (JOINS IN) 311 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,720 (LAUGHS) (PHONE BUZZES) 312 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,520 Eric, would you stop that, please? That just sounds weird. 313 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,040 Oh, hey, Siggy, darling. Thanks for calling me back. 314 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,640 Listen, I've got a little favour to ask. 315 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,120 Oh, yeah, and tell me we're not seeing a comedy, please. 316 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,960 No, we're seeing Ransom III, The Final Ransoming. 317 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,000 I love action movies, man! Let's go. Do you do muay Thai? 318 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,160 (SCREECHES) 319 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,960 What is wrong with you? Wah! 320 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,000 Mum! Mum, he's kicking! 321 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,960 VOICEOVER: In the future, 322 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,400 a robot created to be the perfect gamer 323 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,040 became the perfect killer. 324 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,240 ROBOT: Game over. 325 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,760 Can you put this in your backpack? I don't want to get popcorn on it. 326 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,920 Sure. Where'd you get this anyway? 327 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,040 Birthday. Sando gets me one every year. 328 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,480 Oh. 329 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,800 Shit balls. We forgot choc tops. We got popcorn. 330 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,840 We can't eat salty without sweet. 331 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,880 But the movie's about to start. Better hurry, then, bro. 332 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,840 I'm not your bro. With nuts, please. 333 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,640 Stupid idiot. 334 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,680 Shoot him! Yeah! 335 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,960 "With nuts, please." Get your own nuts, Junior. 336 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,600 You can't let him get to you, Eric. 337 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,200 You're a man. You're a grown-up. 338 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,480 You should be doing important things like hanging out with Mum one on one. 339 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,400 Let's see how that little kid handles life on his own. 340 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,160 (GASPS) What have I done? 341 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,040 Vic? Vic? 342 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,640 MAN: Shh. 343 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,280 Vic! Shh. 344 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,240 Vic. Vic. WOMAN: Keep it down. 345 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,600 MAN: (ON MOVIE) You sonofabitch, give me back my grandson. 346 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,000 Sorry, I got lost. 347 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,800 You're not Vic Junior. I'm Vic. 348 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,480 You said Vic. Give me that back. 349 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,440 I can't believe you just did that. 350 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,960 Ah! 351 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,960 (SHRIEKS) My eyeball! Shh. 352 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,040 (THINKS) Rivers and oceans 353 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,560 and Don's throbbing... 354 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,320 No! You need to get a grip, Nicky. 355 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,840 SUSIE: Nicky. 356 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,840 Nicky. There you are. 357 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,200 Oh, hey. Where have you been? 358 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,240 Um, nothing. I've just been organising the desk. 359 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,960 My mum is doing my head in. 360 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,760 Did you want a session, or... 361 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,160 No, I don't want therapist Nicky, I want friend Nicky. 362 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,520 Aw. OK. 363 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,000 So, what's been happening? Are you OK? 364 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,560 Um, yeah, look, you know what? 365 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,720 I do have something I'd love to chat about. 366 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,720 Because I'm not. 367 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,400 And I thought I was, but every time I see my mum's face, 368 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,920 I want to push it into a woodchipper, and that's not healthy. 369 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,880 No. Maybe you should unpack that a little. 370 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,720 She doesn't listen to anyone. She talks over the top of everyone. 371 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,480 Yeah, I know people like that. They tend to... 372 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,280 Her whole thing is about herself, you know what I mean? 373 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:09,760 It's, like, "Me, me, me, me." 374 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,840 Like, doesn't give anything back. Like, it's exhausting. 375 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,040 Yeah, it's pretty exhausting. 376 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,680 If you ever catch me behaving like that, just slap me. 377 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,760 Because I do not want to end up like her - 378 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,480 just someone who takes, takes, takes. 379 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,480 (GASPS) 380 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,600 I am so lucky to have you as a friend. 381 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,800 Oh. You've always got my back. 382 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,000 Therapist Nicky, friend Nicky, 383 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,800 I mean, I can't even tell the difference anymore. 384 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,600 I have no idea. I love you, babe. 385 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,560 Oh, I love you too. Do you know what? 386 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,280 Maybe you and me should just go and get a coffee 387 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,800 because there's something I've been really wanting to talk to you about. 388 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,800 Yeah, yeah. 389 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,320 I've got a webinar that I want to listen to 390 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,120 about business structure, but another time. 391 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,520 Yeah, yeah. Another time. Good chat. 392 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,240 (SNIFFS) Can you smell peanut butter? 393 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,320 Uh...no. 394 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,960 (SNIFFS) 395 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,160 So, you left your 10-year-old brother at the movies alone 396 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,000 because you're jealous of his relationship with your mother? 397 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,840 Yes, I know. I told you that already. 398 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:13,120 And now he's missing. Yes, I know. 399 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,760 I'm a monster. 400 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,040 Is that him? 401 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,760 Baby half-brother! 402 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,040 (SCREAMS) 403 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,040 Boo! (SHRIEKS) Oh, my God. 404 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,360 I thought you were Susie. Lucky I'm not. 405 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,160 Would you believe she's still not over what happened 10 years ago? 406 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,320 Yes. 407 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,360 Vic Junior forgot his schoolbag again. 408 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,800 What's that for? School. 409 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,160 Oh, right. SUSIE: Just going for a jog, Gary. 410 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,040 Do you have to be everywhere? 411 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,440 Oh, hey, Susie. Look, it's Kevin. 412 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:18,840 Hey. 413 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,520 Kevin. Susie. 414 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,880 I don't know what to say except I messed up. 415 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,920 You never returned my calls or my emails, 416 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,720 and I have no idea if you ever listened to 417 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,000 the CDs that I burnt for you a while back. 418 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,080 But I know that's because of how much pain I put you through then, 419 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,360 and I'll never, ever forgive myself for what I did. 420 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,320 And I just want you to know from the bottom of my heart 421 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,440 that I'm so, so sorry, Susie. 422 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,880 Pathetic. 423 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,680 That's what you were thinking, wasn't it, Susie? 424 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,520 I forgive you, Kevin. You do? 425 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,400 You what? 426 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,520 It was a long time ago and you're remorseful and I've moved on. 427 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,000 But thank you, your apology means a lot to me. 428 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,160 This is bullshit! 429 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:26,080 Kevin and I did the exact same crime and he gets forgiveness and a hug? 430 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,760 His apology was sincere and, oh, yeah, he's not my mother. 431 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,920 I am starting to rethink 432 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,000 that sixth Midori and lemonade 433 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,520 that I let your father buy me 20-odd years ago! 434 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,040 God, you're a dickhead, Kevin. 435 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,240 Bloody dickhead. 436 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,400 OK. 437 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,640 (WASHING MACHINE RUMBLES) I spoke with Susie. 438 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,920 About us? No. God, no. 439 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,400 Gary's right. We have to think of Susie. 440 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,160 I can't stop thinking of Susie. I mean, I'm her father. 441 00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,120 I'm her best friend and therapist. So, it's over. 442 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,560 Yeah. With zero break-up sex. Oh, it has to be cold turkey. 443 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,040 Agreed. 444 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,840 Well, you leave first. OK. 445 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,680 (WASHING MACHINE SPEEDS UP) 446 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,040 Ignore these. 447 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,520 You're not holding them tight enough. 448 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:23,880 You shouldn't have done that. 449 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,520 You shouldn't have put it on spin cycle. 450 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,520 (DOOR OPENS) 451 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,760 Hey. How was the movie? 452 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,840 Vic's fine. What? 453 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,160 Why are you wearing Vic Junior's jersey? 454 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,400 Because of normal reasons. 455 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:42,360 What?! Vic's upstairs in my room just being a normal. 456 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,120 Just doing normal things, like, 457 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,440 whatever normal kids do when everything's normal. 458 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,720 (PHONE RINGS) 459 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,120 Vic Junior! Where are you? 460 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,680 Help, Eric. I've been kidnapped. 461 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:55,760 Kidnapped?! 462 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,080 Listen to me carefully. This next part is very important. 463 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,360 MAN: This is the kidnappers. We have your half-brother. 464 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,600 What do you want? 465 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,000 A choc top with nuts, a bag of Doritos, 466 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,240 and you have to give Vic Junior the top bunk. 467 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,800 What? Please, no. I'm only one man. 468 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,080 Here, give it to me. 469 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:18,360 You listen to me, I have a very particular set of skills. 470 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,840 Skills that I have acquired over years of doing deals. 471 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,080 What? No, Mum, no deals. It's Vic Junior. 472 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,600 Well, that's a good point, Eric. 473 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,400 Um, would you consider taking my eldest son in exchange? 474 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,720 Well, that depends. 475 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,960 Does he come with all of his unopened Lego Star Wars sets? 476 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,960 Brother, you escaped! 477 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,600 But how? 478 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,480 They took you away in that car. 479 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,840 And he even gave me a free bottle of water. 480 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,560 That's how Uber works. 481 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,880 I don't understand. 482 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,280 You pranked me by pretending to leave me at the movies. 483 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,880 So I pranked you back because that's what brothers do. 484 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,200 You were pranking me, weren't you? 485 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,280 What? Yes, that's what brothers do. 486 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,160 Fun ones. That was so fun. 487 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,080 (SANDO AND ERIC LAUGH) 488 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,120 (LAUGHS) 489 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,200 Right. 490 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:15,760 I am not starting STVTFDN until all my family's here. 491 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,800 Sunday Night TV and Takeaway Family Dinner Night. 492 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,000 Oh, look, here she is. 493 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,040 Just getting my book. Oh, hang on. 494 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,120 Just have a little seat here. 495 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,360 I've got something I want to show you. Look, look, look. 496 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:30,640 Hey? 497 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,480 Oh, I love her. 498 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,120 SIGRID: Furniture magnate... 499 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,840 ..self-made woman... 500 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,240 ..national treasure. 501 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,840 I may be all these things and more... 502 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,320 ..but I am also... 503 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,760 ..a mother. 504 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,480 I stuffed up, big-time. 505 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,680 But if someone can stuff up big-time, 506 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,840 surely they can be sorry big-time. 507 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,080 Because I am 508 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,280 sorry... 509 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:11,920 ..big-time. 510 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,040 I'm so sorry, Susie. 511 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,160 Please forgive me. 512 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,080 So that I can start to forgive myself. 513 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,800 Wow. Just wow. 514 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,120 The fuck? 515 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,520 It's an action. It's sincere. 516 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,280 Not to mention the wow factor. 517 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,880 You know her? Yes. 518 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,160 And Susie was right. 519 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,400 I needed someone who could deliver meaning 520 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,480 and remember their lines. 521 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,040 And there is nothing more meaningful 522 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,120 than every word that comes out of that woman's mouth. 523 00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:52,000 You will never get it. So, if you'll excuse me. 524 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,920 No, I will NOT excuse you, Susie. 525 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,480 I could gather up every sorry in the world 526 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,880 and put it in a basket with a bunch of puppies 527 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,880 whose breath smelt like rainbows and you still wouldn't be happy! 528 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,640 Are we getting a puppy? Mm-hm. 529 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,760 Now, I am no therapist... 530 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,960 But I am. 531 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,000 And as a web-certified expert, I'd really rather... 532 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:15,240 ..but I don't think this has anything to do with me not being sorry. 533 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,800 This is about you not wanting to forgive me. 534 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,000 Well, I forgave Kevin. 535 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,320 You forgave the name we're never supposed to speak? 536 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,800 Voldemort? Mm-hm. 537 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,960 So, you know what? I'm not sorry. 538 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,160 I'm sorry? 539 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,920 I am not sorry that I stopped a wedding 540 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,000 that was never meant to happen. 541 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,720 You should never have married that dickhead Kevin, 542 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:38,320 you should have married Gary, who obviously adores you. 543 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,760 That's Daddy! 544 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:44,080 Don't even get me started on my precious granddaughter because... 545 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,320 Well, Susie, you just have the most beautiful family, 546 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:53,760 and, so...you stay because I am no longer hungry. 547 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,600 Well, yeah? 548 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,280 Well, I am no longer hungry first. 549 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,000 I'm going to bed. Yeah, well, I'm going to bed first! 550 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,200 (DOOR SLAMS, GLASS SHATTERS) 551 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,840 (DOOR SLAMS) 552 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,280 Should we eat? 553 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,240 Who are you? 554 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,040 (STOMACH RUMBLES) 555 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,160 They've eaten all the takeaway. 556 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,320 Rian's leftover birthday cake. Do you want some? 557 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,280 Oh. Yeah. Thanks. 558 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,360 That's OK. 559 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,280 Oh, that's good. 560 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,160 You just can't help it, can you? 561 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,480 Help what? 562 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,680 Oh...sorry. 563 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,760 Yeah, sure you are. 564 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,520 (DOOR CLOSES) Oh. 565 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,840 VIC JUNIOR: Eric. 566 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,320 Eric, are you awake? 567 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,760 I'll take that blink as a yes. 568 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,920 I just want you to know that I know today wasn't a prank. 569 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,840 And one day, I don't know when, you'll pay for that. 570 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,280 (GULPS) 571 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,080 Also, you still owe me a choc top with you know what. 572 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,000 Nuts. 573 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,040 Captions by Red Bee Media 574 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,040 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 575 00:26:49,090 --> 00:26:53,640 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42440

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