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1
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A POP Original Series
2
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:08,941
- David, what time is Patrick's
housewarming tonight?
3
00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:10,184
- Hmm, you'll have to ask him.
4
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,142
He told me he doesn't want
my help,
5
00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,318
so I'm just gonna play
the supportive partner,
6
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:15,841
and watch him fail.
7
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,800
- Okay, it's just that if
Ted and I are gonna be
8
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:20,150
fashionably late, we need
to know when it starts.
9
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,588
There you are, Alexis!
10
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,895
- Good morning, Roses.
- Jocelyn, Roland.
11
00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:29,377
- Look at you, positively
flushed with motherly glow.
12
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,249
- We've just been running
around looking for Alexis.
13
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:33,685
- That's so sweet; what's up?
14
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,098
- Remember that time
that you told me
15
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,776
you'd be there for me
if I ever needed you?
16
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,430
- I don't think that was me.
17
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:42,129
- Well, our babysitter for
tonight just cancelled on us,
18
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:44,218
and we were gonna have dinner,
19
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:46,437
and uh, a couples massage.
20
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:49,005
But unfortunately,
the couple that massages us
21
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,225
can only do it
once a month, so...
22
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,053
- Hmm, no. Um...
23
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:54,576
well, I totally would
think about it,
24
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,926
but I have a housewarming
thing tonight.
25
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,710
Ohhh...
26
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,758
- David?
27
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:05,326
Is Patrick also going to that
housewarming party?
28
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:08,285
- Patrick's throwing the party,
unfortunately.
29
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:10,244
- Well Rollie, we're just
gonna have to cancel.
30
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,550
Because we have asked
literally everyone.
31
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,596
Oh, jeez.
32
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,250
- Thanks anyways, Roses.
33
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,078
Sorry.
34
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,691
- Well, that was weird.
35
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,736
- Seriously. A nighttime
couples massage,
36
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,174
what is this, 1985?!
37
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:30,264
- No! They asked everyone
at the table except us,
38
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we're sitting right here!
39
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,026
- They're not going to ask
someone of your age, John.
40
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,792
- We raised two kids.
41
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,750
- "Raised" might be a stretch.
42
00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:41,362
Our nursery was in a different
wing of the house.
43
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:43,205
- It was a design flaw.
- I'm a light sleeper.
44
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♪♪♪
45
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- John, you're not still
working on that
46
00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:56,725
cumbersome laundry hamper?
47
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,901
- I told you, it's a playpen,
Moira.
48
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,424
- I was hoping you were joking.
49
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:02,948
- No. After Roland and Jocelyn's
50
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:04,515
little oversight this morning,
51
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,910
I took it upon myself
to offer our services.
52
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,434
- Why in God's name
would you do that?!
53
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,480
- It's a principle thing.
54
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:15,700
Roland and Jocelyn don't think
we can take care of a kid.
55
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:19,051
- That's an argument
I'm willing to lose.
56
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,402
So now I have go to Ronnie's
by myself.
57
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,099
- What?
58
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,463
- I told you,
the Lifetime Network
59
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,755
is re-airing the movie I did
with Joyce DeWitt.
60
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,279
Remember?
"Not Without My Cousin."
61
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,846
And Ronnie's TV gets
that channel,
62
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,064
I told you this, John!
63
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,892
Or at least I'm telling you now.
64
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:37,418
- Okay, well then, have fun.
65
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,115
I'm more than capable
66
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,117
of looking after this kid
myself.
67
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,206
- John, my sweet husband.
68
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,948
We have nothing to prove
as parents.
69
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,515
We did our best
for our children.
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00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,256
- Yeah, we were there
most weeknights.
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00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,301
For at least a couple of hours.
72
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,713
- Unless we were out
for the evening.
73
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,130
- Yeah, or jetting around.
74
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,088
- Or if it was a really
long day.
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00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,292
- Yeah, no, no, I'm not
the least bit concerned, Moira.
76
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:02,182
Besides, if Roland can look
after a baby,
77
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,225
anyone can.
78
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,317
- Hey, Jocelyn.
79
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,014
- Hi, Johnny.
- Hi, Johnny.
80
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,625
Thank you so much, Johnny,
81
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,975
it just would've never occurred
to us to ask you.
82
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:15,064
Are you sure you're up for this?
83
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:16,761
- Oh, he'll be fine, honey,
84
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:20,025
And if he does find himself
completely lost,
85
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,810
and believe me, he will,
86
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,899
he will have...
87
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,814
the baby binder to hold
his hand.
88
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,468
Right here, Johnny.
89
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:30,035
- Okay, well, here goes nothing.
90
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,491
- Yeah.
- I don't know why, I'm just...
91
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,343
I'm having a hard time
letting go.
92
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,215
- I've got him.
I've got him, Jocelyn.
93
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,698
- Oh, okay, okay.
- Well, I know why.
94
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,498
It's because you don't trust
the guy, and believe me,
95
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,108
I don't either,
but we're in this now, so...
96
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,091
try not think about it.
- Okay...
97
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,267
- Wow, Moira.
98
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:47,139
Looking so elegant for
a night of babysitting.
99
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:50,491
Just dressed to the nines
in choking hazards.
100
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,842
- Sadly, Jocelyn, I won't be
here this evening to intercede.
101
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,018
- Oh wow, so it's just
gonna be Johnny,
102
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,020
alone with our precious
miracle baby?
103
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,152
- Uh... honey,
104
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,329
come on, we're gonna be late
for our massage.
105
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,331
You know Ron and Linda
like to do those stretches
106
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:07,159
before they get us
on the table, so...
107
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,379
I'll be thinking about all
of you during my massage.
108
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,512
- No, no need for that, Roland.
109
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,775
- Okay Johnny, just don't do
anything I wouldn't do.
110
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Love you!
111
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,734
- What?
- Whoop! Whoop!
112
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,781
Boop boop be boop!
113
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,400
Wow. What are those?
114
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,228
- These are party shots.
115
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,622
- Hmm...
- You ever had one before?
116
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:37,538
- No, nope.
117
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,191
- Fine, once.
118
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Twice.
119
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,847
Fine, I had a tray in Cancun.
120
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,633
- Okay, well they kinda go
with my overall theme
121
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:48,418
of a good old-fashioned
high school slumber party, so.
122
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,725
- Mhmm, I still don't know why
you were so quick
123
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,640
to dismiss my theme idea.
124
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,250
- Where is anybody gonna find
125
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,948
glass-blown Venetian masks
around here?
126
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,143
Besides, people are kind
of excited
127
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,387
about the high school idea.
128
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:03,477
- Okay. Walk me through
the high school idea.
129
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,914
Models and teen actors
are just gonna lounge around
130
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,829
in their bras and thongs,
131
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,918
and take Polaroids
of themselves all night?
132
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,355
- What was your high school
experience like?
133
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,096
- What was yours like?
134
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,943
Besides, where are we going
to find a salad bowl of E
135
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,447
this last minute?
136
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:20,145
- You know, I think this
could be kind of a...
137
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,713
a fun opportunity for you to
138
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,324
- Mhmm.
139
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,736
It's just that my parents
have spent like,
140
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,327
an astounding amount
of money on therapy
141
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,154
to try to do that already.
142
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,940
So forgive me for not wanting
to run back into the fire.
143
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:34,508
- What happened to you?
144
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,151
- Nothing, really,
I just didn't like it.
145
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,556
- Mm. Okay. Oh.
- Yeah.
146
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,712
You might have to make
more of those.
147
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,477
- That's right.
- That's very nice.
148
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,840
- Honey, I'm home.
149
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,321
- Oh, shouldn't I be the one
saying that?
150
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,645
- A little something
to celebrate
151
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:09,194
the end of the week.
152
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,632
- Yeah...
- Whoop!
153
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:14,069
- Uh, except it's Neuterpalooza
week at work,
154
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,810
and I still have two days
155
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:17,464
of spaying and neutering
ahead of me.
156
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,117
- Oh, let's stop saying
"neutering",
157
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,554
'cause it's killing my buzz!
158
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,251
- This is so silky.
159
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,122
- Yeah, it's my dad's housecoat
from storage.
160
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,864
I was thinking we could go
as Hef, r.i.p.,
161
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,562
and a Playboy Bunny.
162
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,955
- Isn't the theme high school
slumber party?
163
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,914
- It is.
164
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,457
My best friend, Summer, used
to date Hef in high school,
165
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,545
which isn't as weird
as it sounds,
166
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:38,485
'cause he was like,
a very young 77.
167
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,791
- Uh okay, don't be mad, but...
168
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,532
- Ted, no!
169
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:43,901
- I have to perform surgery
on people's pets like,
170
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,317
first thing in the morning.
171
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,102
- Why'd you have to pick
this weekend?
172
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,253
You know how much I always
look forward
173
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,887
to Patrick's house parties.
174
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:52,324
- Isn't this his first one?
175
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,587
- Okay, fine.
176
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,328
I guess I'll just finish
my drink, and...
177
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:58,200
wander over there
dressed like this,
178
00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:00,463
and see what happens.
179
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,770
- Well, I mean,
180
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,816
maybe you don't need
to leave just yet.
181
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,124
- Snip, snip, Mr. Mullens!
182
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:13,955
I was just hoping you could
make an exception.
183
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:15,435
Let loose for one night.
184
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,219
- Next time. I promise.
185
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,832
Well, I'm off.
186
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,704
- All right, have fun,
sweetheart.
187
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,967
- You realize the bebe
is crying.
188
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,664
- I do, yes.
189
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,492
- Isn't it scheduled to be
dormant by now?
190
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,233
- I'll figure it out, Moira.
191
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,104
- You have the binder.
- Yes.
192
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,542
- Yes.
- Ooh!
193
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,631
- I think I just found
the issue.
194
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,371
It might be in the diaper.
195
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:42,200
- Oh, it was the bebe.
I'm so relieved!
196
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,028
- Yeah, I think they left
extra diapers.
197
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,465
They assumed we'd take
care of it.
198
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,249
You wanna grab
the rubber gloves?
199
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,251
- They're Tom Ford, John, no!
200
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,600
And they wouldn't fit you
anyway.
201
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,428
- The cleaning gloves
under the sink!
202
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,038
- Oh! Yes.
203
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,699
And, there.
204
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,266
Oh, it looks like Jocelyn's
205
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,529
left you some nice chapter tabs.
206
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,533
Uh, it's saying here
that you should...
207
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,884
wipe counter-clockwise
direction, ah...
208
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:17,671
flip it, if you can flip it.
209
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:20,369
- The baby?
- It doesn't say.
210
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,763
- Honestly, Moira, just go!
I'll be fine.
211
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,982
- I'm not sure you will be,
John.
212
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,724
It's not like the old days when
we could just call Adelina,
213
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:30,335
and have her rush home from
her daughter's wedding.
214
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,902
- You're gonna miss
your screening.
215
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,904
- I'll go after the first
commercial break.
216
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,558
That's when the action
happens anyway,
217
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,386
when my cousin and I begin
218
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,301
our backpack through Lebanon.
219
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,477
- What else does the binder say?
220
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,870
- Oh my God, John!
221
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,916
Don't forget to wash its hands!
222
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,005
- Okay.
223
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,487
- Okay, my turn. Ahem!
224
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:55,926
Hmm, never have I ever
pretended to be
225
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,363
a pizza delivery person
so I could get
226
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:01,018
into Jared Leto's
Halloween party.
227
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,672
- You're a bitch.
228
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:05,588
- My mom was engaged to two
pizza delivery guys.
229
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,199
Can that count?
'Cause I am really thirsty.
230
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,071
- Stevie!
231
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,114
- Uh, um...
232
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,816
Never have I ever...
233
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:20,927
Sorry, I'm just trying
to think of something
234
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,910
I haven't done.
- Okay.
235
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,801
How long did you envision
this game going on for?
236
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,827
Because never have I ever
been so bored.
237
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,046
- Aw, I'm sorry, David,
when I suggested the game,
238
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,483
I didn't expect that you'd be
drinking quite so much.
239
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:32,920
Eating out of the garbage?
240
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,878
- Okay, I did that in front
of you last night.
241
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:37,707
Now, as a participant, if we
don't change the game soon,
242
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,796
I'm gonna get very drunk.
- Oh.
243
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,581
Yep?
244
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:45,236
- Hey!
- Oh! There he is! Yay!
245
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,325
- God, what are you doing here?
246
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,023
- Hey, sweetie.
247
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,478
You were right,
we deserve a night out.
248
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,417
So, I just pushed all
my morning appointments.
249
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:54,158
Which will be fine, I guess,
250
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,136
it just means that I'll be
staying up 'til 1:00 A.M.
251
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,510
on a Saturday, spaying
with a pretty shaky hand.
252
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,445
- Mm, that's so cute.
What can I get you to drink?
253
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,079
- Oh no, don't worry about that.
254
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,753
After you used all of my booze
for your punch,
255
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,692
the only alcohol left
in my fridge
256
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:08,303
was a few of your rum,
raspberry, coconut coolers.
257
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,348
So I polished them off, and...
258
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,935
it tasted like burnt plastic,
and I regretted it instantly.
259
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,351
Hi, Ted!
260
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:14,962
- Only you would wear
a little robe,
261
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:18,008
and little slippers to a high
school slumber party.
262
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,769
- Oh, no, no, no. This is just
so that I didn't get cold
263
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,403
on the way over.
264
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,187
All right!
265
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:24,928
What is the game,
because I'm up!
266
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,582
- Ohh! Wow.
267
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,583
- Oh!
- Okay...
268
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,759
Twyla!
269
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,761
- I'm not sure if it's just
the punch, but...
270
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:34,155
he could get it!
271
00:10:34,198 --> 00:10:36,592
- Stevie, that's disgu
272
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,550
Ted, can I get you a party shot?
273
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,509
- Cool!
- Okay.
274
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,467
- David?
- Wow.
275
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:43,904
- Yeah.
- We have orange...
276
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:46,167
- I'll take that.
- Yellow...
277
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:59,659
- Hey! Do you wanna put
Emir away for a hot sec,
278
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:02,531
so this game can keep going,
and the party can end soon?
279
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,248
- Oh, I'm good. I don't wanna
kiss anyone here.
280
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,752
- My sister's sitting
in the circle,
281
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,318
You think I'm dying to play?
282
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:08,668
Thank you very much.
283
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,026
- Ohh!
284
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,505
Oh!
285
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,640
Okay!
286
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,036
Babe, did you rig this?
287
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:32,039
- Maybe I did, and maybe I did!
288
00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:33,649
Ooh!
289
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,130
Okay, go crazy, babe.
- Mhmm.
290
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,045
All right, who's the lucky lady?
291
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:43,790
- That's offensive.
- Okay, anyway, re-spin!
292
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,705
- Yeah, it actually looks
like it sorta landed
293
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,315
between two people.
- No, no, no, no!
294
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,664
I know exactly who it landed on.
295
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,100
- Oh, Ted! That's not okay.
296
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,841
Man, come here, big guy!
297
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,060
- Mmmph!
- Partygoers:
298
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:54,714
Muah!
299
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:57,238
- Oh my fucken God.
300
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,937
- It looks like the punch
needs a refill.
301
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,809
- Oh hey, I could use
a refill too, big guy.
302
00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:04,656
- Okay, I don't know where
"big guy" is coming from,
303
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,421
but it needs to stop.
304
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:10,294
- Um, I don't know about you,
but I smell drama.
305
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,427
Okay, my turn!
306
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,603
You know
Helen, despite everything...
307
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,344
- Oh, if it weren't
for Joyce Dewitt
308
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,520
insisting on wearing
those pigtails,
309
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:21,653
this movie could've been a hit!
310
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,568
We're supposed to be
astrophysicists,
311
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:24,744
it just takes you out of it.
312
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:28,225
And yet, she,
she gets the close up!
313
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,793
- Well, that was shocking.
- I know, right?
314
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,795
And I get the aerial shot
for my love scene.
315
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,797
- No, no, I'm talking
about the kid.
316
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,538
To think this little
thing could...
317
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,019
create so much destruction.
318
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:41,586
- Oh, you've completed
the diaper substitution.
319
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,807
Aren't you the Sephardic
Mr. Clean!
320
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:49,029
- Well, I did the kid,
but I'm not doing the bathroom.
321
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:50,833
- It appears you may need
a change yourself, Mr. Rose.
322
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,989
What is that on your shoulder?
323
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,513
- Oh Moira, he spit up on me.
324
00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:59,213
And he's spit up in the playpen!
325
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:02,433
- Ew! That cannot be good, John!
326
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:05,480
Its body is ejecting things,
what did you do to it?!
327
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:08,439
- Nothing! I-I changed
his diaper, that's all.
328
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:10,833
- Well, perhaps you've swaddled
its abdomen too tightly,
329
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,531
Or maybe it's allergic
to something.
330
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,664
John, did you feed it shellfish?
331
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,492
What did you do?!
332
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:19,687
- I've gotta wipe him up,
and change his clothes again.
333
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:22,323
- For all we know, it's got
crawling pneumonia.
334
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,847
- Oh, he doesn't have
crawling pneumonia, Moira!
335
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,414
- I don't want to say
I told you so,
336
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,155
but this is an infelicitous
burden.
337
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,026
I could be at Ronnie's
right now,
338
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:32,202
preparing for the
post-screening Q&A.
339
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,291
- Well then, go to Ronnie's!
340
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,903
Because I've gotta get him
a change of clothes.
341
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,730
- Well, at least put
the gloves back on.
342
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,734
John, it says right here,
343
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:46,651
spitting up is normal.
344
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:49,872
Jocelyn's written,
"Spit happens."
345
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,874
Very clever.
346
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,920
For Jocelyn.
347
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,228
Partygoers:
348
00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,751
- Oh my God, they just
need to chill.
349
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,231
Okay, I'm done.
350
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,798
- Who chose this theme, anyway?
351
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,061
- It was a mistake.
352
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,455
What are you guys
doing over here?
353
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,346
You remind me of me
at a high school house party
354
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,043
judging all the attractive
and popular kids
355
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,026
for being attractive
and popular.
356
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,699
- David, do you have anything
you wanna say
357
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:16,005
to me and Patrick?
- Actually, yes.
358
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:19,162
Now, as an attractive
and popular kid
359
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:21,382
at a house party,
I can confidently say,
360
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,950
it's very fun.
- That's it?
361
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,777
That's all you have to say?
362
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,127
- What's going on here?
363
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,911
- Mm, things got effed,
364
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,957
and we're not having
fun anymore.
365
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,350
- For what it's worth,
I'm having a great time.
366
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:34,917
- You're like a tsetse fly.
367
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,701
Where's your cell phone
boyfriend?
368
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:38,921
- On my cell phone.
- Okay.
369
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,270
- You're not having fun?
370
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,969
- I don't know David, sure.
371
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,884
- What exactly did I do
wrong here?
372
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,842
- Oh, I don't know. David,
373
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,800
mmm, was it the time
you kissed my boyfriend?
374
00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:52,282
Or... was it the time
you kissed my boyfriend?
375
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,781
- I think it was the time
you kissed her boyfriend.
376
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,286
- Okay, he kissed me!
377
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,027
And I was just told
to have some fun.
378
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,029
So I played the game.
379
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:01,901
I'm sorry that the bottle
landed on me.
380
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,704
- Hm, technically it landed
between you and Stevie, so.
381
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,556
- Yeah.
382
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,969
- Okay, so you're upset
about this as well, then?
383
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,298
- Looks like it.
- No, I'm not!
384
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:10,213
I'm not upset.
I just, I guess I wonder
385
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,694
how you would react
if the tables were turned.
386
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,106
- Yeah David, like,
what would you do
387
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,263
if Patrick and I suddenly
kissed at a party?
388
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:17,829
- Yeah.
- Or Patrick and me.
389
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,919
- Okay, we're done with you.
390
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,398
It was spin the bottle!
391
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:24,184
If Patrick was wasted,
and spun the bottle,
392
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,273
and it landed on you,
and you guys kissed,
393
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,928
I wouldn't care.
- You're lying, David.
394
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,340
- Okay, is that
what needs to happen
395
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,757
to clear the air here?
You guys need to kiss?
396
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,170
- David, let's not be dramatic.
- Yeah, maybe it does.
397
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,804
- What?
- Well, by all means.
398
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,738
- I think it's actually more
the principle of the thing...
399
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,155
- Okay, here we go.
- Hmm!
400
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,987
Is that really...
401
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:48,164
- Uh huh.
402
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,340
Mmm! Mmmm!
403
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,736
Mmmmmmmm!
404
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:57,173
Yum. That was fun.
405
00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:59,436
- Hey, are we spinning
more bottles?
406
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,003
- Uh, was that fun for you guys?
407
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:04,093
That like, satisfying?
- I was never not okay. So.
408
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,748
- It was really good for me.
409
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,054
- I say we play truth or dare.
410
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,664
- Oh Stevie, I'm in!
411
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,883
- Oh no, Ted.
412
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:12,884
Get your housecoat
and your other slipper.
413
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,670
It is time to go.
414
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,541
- You got it, big guy.
- Okay.
415
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,674
- Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry.
416
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,328
Good game!
417
00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:26,246
- Look at him.
418
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:29,989
Awful peaceful when
he's sleeping.
419
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:36,256
Well, we did it, sweetheart.
420
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:38,954
And, uh...
421
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,261
what do you think
we've learned here today?
422
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:44,655
- That Adelina was grossly
underpaid.
423
00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:47,702
- No, I mean,
we could've been good,
424
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,921
hands-on parents
if we wanted to.
425
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,662
We've got it in us.
426
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,795
- That was never
in question, John.
427
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,971
I'm even more convinced
that our hands-off approach
428
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,755
served them better.
429
00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:00,802
I'll go,
but not without my cousin!
430
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,978
That had its moments.
431
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,894
When it shone,
it shone brightly.
432
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:08,070
And I have to hand it to DeWitt.
433
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:11,160
She had a real breakthrough
during the denouement.
434
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,858
I believe she believed
we were cousins.
435
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,385
John?
436
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,048
- Oh, hello!
- Shh! Shh! Shh!
437
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,311
- Greet... what?!
- Shh!
438
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,443
- What?
- I just put him down!
439
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:36,098
- Oh my gosh, you got little
Roland Jr. to sleep?
440
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,249
- Oh no, I'm talking about John.
441
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,840
- Oh.
442
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,687
- No, Roland's been asleep
for quite some time.
443
00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:42,931
- And everything was fine?
No major problems?
444
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:46,326
- He is a slice of meringue,
Jocelyn.
445
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,850
- You know, I don't know
if uh...
446
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:51,331
I'm just all zen'd out
from an hour and a half
447
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:53,942
of Linda's magic fingers on me,
448
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:55,702
but I can actually see myself
leaving Roland Jr.
449
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,164
With you people more often.
450
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,688
- Ah!
451
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,361
Well, that something Linda
might want to massage
452
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,779
right out of your mind,
the next appointment.
453
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,259
- I actually have Ron
the next time,
454
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:10,132
we like to mix it up
a little bit.
455
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,718
- And with that, I believe
your little inchling
456
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,615
is out past its curfew.
457
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,201
- Oh, you get the binger,
I'll get the baby.
458
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:19,141
- Okay.
459
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,012
Ohh, jeez.
460
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,014
Look at him.
461
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,458
You know, I almost think I like
him better asleep than awake.
462
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:34,765
He's on my side.
463
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:35,940
Bye bye.
464
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,814
What?
465
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,772
- Oh, shh!
466
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:52,846
- Ahem! I'm just gonna take
the garbage out.
467
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,437
- Okay.
468
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,830
- Yeah, and if I don't
come back,
469
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,049
it's probably because
I've run off with Ted.
470
00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,834
- Thanks for the heads up.
471
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,183
- We're just gonna go
for a ride,
472
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:02,706
see where it takes us.
473
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,839
Maybe start a vet clinic
somewhere along the way.
474
00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:07,058
He'll the animals back
to heath, I'll...
475
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,930
offer grooming services.
476
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,323
- Okay, you know what?
477
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:15,632
Maybe I overreacted
for a second.
478
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:17,939
I was just talking to Alexis,
479
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:19,438
and we sorta wound
each other worked up.
480
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:21,179
Abd Stevie didn't help.
- Stevie never helps.
481
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,727
- So I didn't love seeing
my boyfriend
482
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,165
kissing some other guy.
483
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:29,168
- I'm sorry, are you saying
you were jealous?
484
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:31,300
- David, I'm not playing
this game with you.
485
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,954
- No, you just said
you didn't like
486
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:35,043
seeing your boyfriend
kissing another guy.
487
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,958
- Okay, fine.
He's a handsome guy.
488
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,351
I might've been a little
jealous.
489
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:39,719
- So, you think
he's handsome then?
490
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:42,181
- What?
He's like-he goes to the gym.
491
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,183
- Goes to the gym?
- Oh my God.
492
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,620
- Wow, okay, so when you
said you were jealous,
493
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,839
were you saying you were
jealous of him,
494
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:50,711
or jealous of me?
495
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:53,801
Because I thought you were
saying you were jealous of him.
496
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:55,324
- Both?
497
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:56,804
- Not the answer
I was looking for.
498
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,154
- Hey.
499
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,634
- Mhmm?
500
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:01,872
- I wonder what
would've happened
501
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,551
if we had met in high school.
- Hmm.
502
00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:07,641
Well, unless you were
into candy ravers
503
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,382
with asymmetrical haircuts
504
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:11,384
and a lot of pacifier necklaces,
505
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,147
I think our paths crossed
at the right time.
506
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:19,261
How jealous, though?
507
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,263
- Why don't you take out
the garbage?
508
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,265
- How jealous were you?
- Nope!
509
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,441
- Scale of one to ten.
510
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:28,139
Like, enraged, or...
- Bye, bye.
511
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:29,402
- like fuming, did you sweat?
512
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:35,103
- That was fun.
- Yep.
513
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,800
- That was really fun.
Did you have fun?
514
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,367
- Yes.
515
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,804
- Did everyone had fun?
- Yes, Ted.
516
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:44,025
- That's good, it's good
that everyone had fun.
517
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:45,524
- Okay, you still have
your slippers on,
518
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,134
- Yeah, I know, sometimes
my feet get really cold
519
00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:49,509
when I drink too much.
- It's not a thing.
520
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,511
- Okay, well, gimme a kiss.
- No!
521
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:53,469
You kissed my brother tonight,
522
00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:55,428
I'm not kissing you after
you kissed my brother.
523
00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:58,300
- Pffft! Who kissed
your brother?
524
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:01,172
- Okay, it's time for
"Fun Ted" to just pass out.
525
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:03,479
- No, he's not even tired.
In fact, if anything,
526
00:21:03,523 --> 00:21:06,090
I'd say he's only
becoming more fun.
527
00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:07,744
- Okay. Okay! Okay! Okay!
528
00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:11,531
I think we should just like,
sleep it off.
529
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,707
- Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.
530
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,796
But first just give
your brother a kiss.
531
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,188
- Ew, Ted, Ew!
- Come on.
532
00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:19,974
- Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
533
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:22,368
- Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! That's you.
38776
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