Original subtitles

[upbeat rock music]

- You're never gonna get away

with this, Dr. Shark Eyes.

- Oh, I already have,

Agent Maxwell.

[cackling]

- These Jett Masterson

spy movies are ridiculous.

- Ridiculously good.

Jett Masterson

as Agent Zachary Maxwell

is the greatest spy

that ever lived.

- I feel safer living in

a world that he protects.

- It's a movie, doofuses.

There's no such thing

as evil masterminds

with pet sharks.

- [cackling]

[murmurs]

[shouts]

- Crikey!

It bit him right in the face!

- Please.

He gets bit in the face

in every movie.

- This isn't Finneas.

Finneas would never bite me!

[breathing raggedly]

You switched my shark,

didn't you?

- No.

I hypnotized him.

You're not the only one

with shark eyes.

[extended dramatic sting]

♪ ♪

[together] Yes!

- He hypnotized

the shark again.

These movies are all the same!

- You bite your tongue.

- I can have an opinion.

- No, that's the next

line of dialogue.

- You bite your tongue.

- See?

- You know who I blame

for us being stuck

watching this marathon

of garbage

on a Saturday night?

Our friends!

I can't believe they all had

doctor's appointments.

[scoffs] Sorry about

this lame night, Britt.

Britt?

[television beeps]

both: Hey!

- Where'd Britt go?

- I don't know.

He was here

when we started the marathon.

- Now will you unpause it,

please?

- Yeah.

[television beeps]

- Ooh, a tongue

will be bitten.

The question is...

whose?

[television beeps]

[together] Hey!

- Where do you think

Britt went?

- You tell us.

You're the one

who wasn't paying attention

to the "ridiculous" movie.

Or were you?

- Admit it.

You really like this movie.

- I do not.

- Fine.

Then we'll just have to

get the truth out of you,

Agent Maxwell style.

[extended dramatic sting]

♪ ♪

- Fine, I love these movies.

But I still wanna

know where Britt is.

- Maybe he went to bed.

- Yeah, it's not like he had

Saturday night plans

without us.

- She said "didgeridoo,"

and then I said,

"more like didgeri-don't."

[all laughing]

Oh.

Hey, guys.

- [sing-song] Awkward!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,

na, na, na, na, na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[cheerful music]

- What's going on?

The four of you said

you couldn't hang out tonight

because you all had

doctor's appointments.

- Explain yourselves.

- Well, it's

a real coincidence.

I had a toothache.

- I had a stomachache.

- And I had

a none-of-your-business ache.

- Physical therapy.

- It turned out that all of

our doctor's appointments

happened to be in

the Quincy Medical Building.

- So when we were finished,

we all met up

with Britt in the lobby

for, you know,

after-appointment

root beer floats.

- Like you do.

- Well, would you look

at the time?

We should get going.

- I'll see you out.

- Something doesn't seem right

with their story.

- Was it that they all

had doctor's appointments

on a Saturday night?

- No, that could happen.

- Is it that they all

just happened

to meet in the lobby?

- Still in the realm

of possibility.

- Is it that Miles doesn't

actually have a watch?

- Yes!

And it's the root beer floats.

Everyone knows you only go

to the Quincy Medical Building

for cheesesteaks.

- Good point.

- They are delicious.

- Oh, here comes Britt.

Let's get to

the bottom of this.

- I'll handle

the interrogation...

Agent Maxwell style.

Hey!

Not so fast, Britt.

- Sorry.

I'll close it slower next time.

- Not the door.

You.

How'd you hook up

with our friends tonight...

- At the Quincy

Medical Building...

- For root beer floats?

[extended dramatic sting]

♪ ♪

- I said I'll handle it.

- You don't own

Agent Maxwell style.

- Guys, no worries.

They sent a group text

inviting everyone.

You must have missed it

while you were watching

your movie marathon.

I figured I'd just slip out

and not bother you.

- Aw.

- So thoughtful!

- You're the best.

- Well, if there's

no more questions,

I'll turn in.

- Good night!

- See you in the morning.

- Dream about great things.

Man, a group text?

Makes perfect sense.

- Yeah, Britt would never

do us like that.

- Uh, guys?

There's no group text.

- Britt did us like that!

- Relax.

I'll just group-text

our friends and ask what's up.

- There will be no group text.

I have questions,

and I wanna look them

in their eyes when they answer.

- The only answer I want now

is how to get a cheesesteak.

I wonder if I can get an

appointment with Dr. Allred.

♪ ♪

- Hey, look who it is!

All our friends.

- Hey, who's thirsty?

How about

some root beer floats?

[fingers snapping]

Oh, waitress!

- [sighs pleasantly]

Enjoy your floats.

Snap at me again

and you will never snap again.

- Sorry, Mom.

It was just

for dramatic effect.

Oh--I'm also gonna say

"thanks, Toots" when you leave.

- No, you're not.

- Before you drink, a toast:

To all the times

we've hung out together.

- The fun times,

the special times.

- Like the time last night,

when we all got together

and had root beer floats.

- You guys weren't there.

- Exactly!

Waitress!

Take away

these root beer floats!

- Hey, kids.

Your mom wanted me to say,

"Clap at me again

and you will never clap again."

But she did say you could

"Toots" me?

[mumbles skeptically]

- Thanks, Toots.

- So why did you guys

shut us out

of the group text?

- We didn't start

that group text.

- Yeah, it was Britt.

- Britt?

- I think Miles

was pretty clear.

- Come on, guys.

Let's go get our floats back.

Hey, Toots!

- So Britt started

that group text?

That's weird.

- Yeah, Britt said

he was the receiver

of the text,

not the sender.

- Is it possible

that Britt doesn't want to

hang out with us?

[together] Nah.

both: It can't be us.

It must be...her.

- It can't be me.

It must be...them.

[extended dramatic sting]

♪ ♪

[upbeat rock music]

- ♪ Oh, oh, hey,

oh-oh-oh ♪

- Hey, Britt.

Eating cheese

and crackers, huh?

- Yup.

- You know,

a lot of people think

me and my brothers are just

like cheese and crackers.

Always together.

But not true.

In fact, you can have

the cheese

without the crackers.

You know what I'm saying?

- No, they're meant

to be together.

That's why they put

the cheese and biscuits

in the same package.

- [chuckles]

Well, just because

they're in the same package

doesn't mean

you have to eat them

at the same time.

I mean, you could

have the cheese now

and never hang out with

those two boring biscuits ever.

- Oh, I know what

this is about.

Here, take my biscuits.

- I don't want the biscuits.

- The cheese?

- No.

- The little red stick?

- [sighs] No!

I wanna hang out with you

without my brothers.

How about tonight?

- Oh, I can't.

I already have plans

with Nicky and Ricky.

Sorry, Dawn.

But here.

Enjoy.

- It was me he didn't

want to hang out with!

[struggles, sighs]

- Hey, Britt!

Hold up a sec.

- Ooh, getting a jacket, huh?

Might be chilly.

Speaking of chilly,

how about the three of us...

"chill" together tonight?

- I can't, mates.

I'm "chilling"

with Dawn tonight.

See ya!

- Wait...if he's already

doing something

with Dawn tonight,

then it was us!

- So...what are

you guys doing tonight?

- Nothing.

You?

- Nothing.

- Who are you doing

nothing with?

- Nobody.

Who are you doing nothing with?

- Nobody.

- Well, if you won't admit it,

I'll just stand here and see

if you're really doing

nothing with nobody.

- So will we.

- Well,

clearly nobody is doing

nothing with nobody.

- Then can we stop

standing here?

My eyes hurt

and my legs are asleep.

- [exhaling] Yeah.

- Mine too--oh!

[all grunting]

Well, clearly Britt lied

to all of us.

- [grunts loudly]

- But why would he tell us...

separate lies?

- [pants]

To turn us against each other.

- Why would he want to

turn us against each other?

- Oh, feeling's coming back!

- [shouts]

- Pins and needles,

pins and needles!

- Okay, okay, okay.

- If we can find him,

we can ask him.

I'm gonna locate him

on my Track My Pals app.

The blue dot is Britt.

- What are all the red dots?

- Oh, that one's Natlee.

There's Miles...there's Mae!

- They're moving

towards the blue dot!

- He's stealing

all our pals!

- That was his plan.

Distract us by forcing us

into a two-hour stare down

so our legs would fall asleep

while he invited

everyone out to...

Root Beer Flo's.

- Home to Boulder's best

non-medical building

root beer floats!

- He completely manipulated us!

- Just like when

Dr. Shark Eyes manipulated

Maxwell's fellow agents

at the end of

the agency softball game

so he could take them out...

for pizza and karaoke.

- Little did they know,

the microphone was poisoned.

- "We are family" were

the last words

they ever sang.

[television playing faintly]

- Shh!

- Spoiler alert!

- Then, after the game,

I'm gonna take you all out...

for pizza and karaoke!

[cackling]

[extended dramatic sting]

♪ ♪

[together] Sorry.

♪ ♪

- I can't believe Britt

lied to us.

I bet he's out

enjoying root beer floats

with our friends right now!

- While we're stuck here,

not enjoying root beer floats

without our friends.

- Why don't we just order

root beer floats?

- Why don't we just sing

into poisoned microphones?

- Guys, let's not fight,

because we are fam--

- Don't say those words.

- Nicky, Britt isn't

an evil mastermind.

He's just a really ungrateful

houseguest.

- Who's

an ungrateful houseguest?

- Britt.

He charmed all our friends

and now they only wanna

hang out with him and not us.

- Yeah, he's way over

the line, Toots.

- Well, I'm sure there's

a logical explanation.

- Hmm, Toots is right.

- [spluttering]

You too?

- Hey, guys!

Hey, foreign exchange

Mum and Pup!

- Hey! How are you?

- [laughing]

- You work at Get Sporty now?

- Did you call them

"Mum and Pup?"

- Is that a shark-tooth

necklace?

- It's puka shells.

Mum and Pup got it for me

for being employee

of the month.

- How long have you

been working here?

- I started today.

- He's that good.

- So, Mum, Pup,

I've been reviewing the books,

and I think I've figured out

a way to get a real bite

out of some of the overhead.

- [whispering]

Did you hear that?

He said "bite"!

Like a shark!

- Uh, the kids don't care

about all of this.

Let's discuss your ideas

over some root beer floats.

- Yeah.

Such a go-getter.

You know, one day, this could

be, "Britt's Get Sporty."

[all gasp]

- He's not just trying

to steal our friends.

- And our family business.

- And Mom and Toots!

- He's trying to

steal our lives.

[all laughing raucously]

- [laughing]

[siblings shiver audibly]

♪ ♪

- Where's Nicky?

We have to figure out

this Britt situation.

- I've got good news

and I've got bad news.

Bad news is, Dr. Allred said

I need my tonsils out.

- What's the good news?

- I got cheesesteaks!

- Okay, we need to get

to the bottom

of whether Britt is really

an evil mastermind.

- Yeah, what do we really

even know about this guy?

- We need to uncover the truth

and find out what

his next move is.

- I got it!

In all the Agent Maxwell

movies,

there's always

a beautiful woman who's able

to charm the information

out of people.

- I like it!

Dawn, go get one

of your dresses.

And give it to Nicky!

- What?

That's ridiculous!

- Completely.

Give it to Ricky.

- Uh, don't you think

there's a better person

for the job?

- Well, yeah,

but Dad's not here.

- Me!

Me-me-me!

I should be the one

getting in the dress!

- [snorts]

- Whatever.

- Okay.

- Hello...Britt.

- Wow, Dawn.

Look at you.

- Yes, look at me.

[shouts]

- Crikey!

Are you okay?

- [exhales]

I'm fine.

[grunts]

[together] Should've been you.

- Are you sure

you're all right?

- Yes, I was just taking

a little shortcut

down the stairs.

- Uh-oh.

I think you may have

a bit of a nosebleed.

- Oh.

All good.

[shouts]

[in nasally voice]

So, Britt...

any plans for this evening?

Big plans, little plans,

master plans?

- No, but I do have

a bit of homework

to do upstairs.

- Oh, homework.

Of course!

You have to feed

that master mind of yours.

So what are you studying?

Math?

Science?

Betrayal?

- Uh, no.

Just history.

- History of betrayal?

- Nope.

Regular history.

- [chewing]

Okay, what was that?

- [chewing]

Besides an epic fail.

- Is it an epic fail

that I got him

to leave us alone

with his backpack?

[extended dramatic sting]

♪ ♪

- Ugh.

Can you...

- Do you...

- Ugh...

- All right.

Let's see,

what do we have here?

[gasps] "Top secret"!

What's he planning?

- It looks like

a surprise party.

- A surprise party

with karaoke

and poison microphones?

- No, just a regular

poison-free surprise party.

- That doesn't sound so evil.

- But here's something that is:

We're not on the guest list.

- Wait.

The only person not invited

to a surprise party

is the person

who the surprise party is for.

- So it's for us?

- But why would he plan

a surprise party for us?

Our birthday

is five months away.

- Well, that would be

a good way to surprise us.

- He's not up

to something evil.

He's up to something nice.

- Who's up to something nice?

[siblings shouting]

- We are!

- Putting stuff

into your backpack!

- Which seemed to

have fallen out

on its own!

- Yeah.

- Look, I know

you saw the binder.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't want you to find out

about the surprise party

like this.

- It's okay.

- We won't tell anybody.

- And we'll act surprised

when it happens.

Don't worry about that.

I mean,

look how good

we are at it.

Really?

- For us?

- What?

- Oh, I think

you've got it wrong.

The party isn't for you.

It's for Avery.

- Really?

- For Avery?

- What?

- Her birthday's coming up,

so...

- But we aren't

on the guest list.

- Yeah.

- Sorry.

If it's any consolation,

it was a hard decision.

- [scoffs] I can't believe

he's having a party

and not inviting us.

- Well, at least we know

he's not an evil mastermind

trying to get rid of us.

- This to-do list fell out

of Britt's backpack.

"Number one:

get rid of the Quads."

- He is an evil mastermind

trying to get rid of us!

♪ ♪

- Let's not jump

to conclusions.

"Get rid of the Quads"

could mean anything.

- Number two is

"take over Get Sporty."

- And number three

is "celebrate"!

- Yeah, Britt wants us gone.

- What else is on that list?

- Nothing.

Why would he write anything

after "celebrate"?

- Why would

an evil mastermind need

to make a list

with only three things?

There's gotta be something

on the back.

- There's nothing on the back.

- Is something we can say once

we've turned it over and looked

at the back.

- I'm not turning it over.

- Can you believe this guy?

- Guys, stop!

- Gah!

- And now we'll never know.

- [stammers]

Who cares?

We need to find

a way to expose him.

- We need to figure out

a way to get Britt

to admit his diabolical plans

in front of everyone.

- We could do it

at Avery's party.

- Hm.

- But we weren't invited.

- That wouldn't stop

Agent Zachary Maxwell.

And it's not gonna stop us.

- Yeah, we could do what he did

to Dr. Shark Eyes

at the end of

"For Shark Eyes Only:"

incapacitate him,

hang him over a shark tank

until he admits the truth.

- I get the shark

and the dangling,

but how are we gonna

incapacitate him?

- Hmm...oh, we could use

one of Dicky's dirty socks.

He left them everywhere

when he went to Australia.

I bet there's one in here.

See?

- Wait, how do we know

it's still ripe?

It's ripe.

[male singer vocalizing]

♪ ♪

- Psst, Britt.

- Hey, Dawn.

- [whistling]

kids: Surprise!

- [shouting]

- Sorry, Toots.

False alarm.

- [panting]

It's okay.

It's okay.

All right, see?

The cake's fine.

- [gasps]

That's the third time today!

- Well, then stop

screaming "surprise"!

- Hold on, guys.

Where's Britt?

He's gonna miss

the actual surprise.

- Everyone,

stop what you're doing!

- Britt isn't

who he says he is.

He's actually

an evil mastermind

who came here

to take over our lives.

- Your lives?

[all laughing]

- We knew you wouldn't

believe us.

So maybe you'll

believe Britt himself.

[all gasp]

- Britt!

- [gasps] Didgeri-don't!

- Okay, Britt.

Reveal your evil plan.

- What's going on?

I don't have an evil plan.

- We knew you wouldn't

admit it.

Now things are about

to get ugly.

- What's that on his feet?

- Peanut butter.

- How did he step

in peanut butter?

- Peanut butter stepped on him.

- Wait, so is peanut butter,

like, a guy or something?

- No, just regular peanut

butter from a jar.

- Is it crunchy or creamy?

- Okay, what does it matter?

[whistles] Sharky!

- [laughing]

- Anything to tell us now,

"mate"?

- [gasping]

Fine, I'll admit it!

The truth is,

the party isn't for Avery.

It's for you.

- Yeah, even though

it really is my birthday.

[noisemaker squawks]

- [laughing]

I wanted to thank you

for accepting me

into your family.

You're the best brothers

and sister a guy could have.

all: Aww.

- No "aww"s!

Don't "aww"!

He's trying to trick you.

- Well, Britt,

if you really wanted

to thank us

for being part of your family,

then what about your list?

"One: get rid of the Quads."

- [giggling] I needed to

get rid of you guys

so I could plan your party.

[together] Oh.

- Well, what about number two?

"Take over Get Sporty"!

- Yeah, so we could decorate

for your party.

[together] Oh.

- Well, you certainly won't be

able to explain number three.

"Celebrate"--which,

now that I say out loud,

probably means

celebrate for our party.

- Turn the list over.

- Why?

- "Trick Nicky, Ricky, and Dawn

with a decoy party for Avery,

then throw them

the best surprise party ever."

[together] Oh.

- Seems like something

that should be

on the front of a list,

but okay.

- We all know

you guys are impossible

to keep a secret from,

so the plan was

to make you suspicious

by having Britt sneak off

with all of your friends.

- And once you guys started

snooping around, he pretended

the party was for Avery,

which we knew you'd crash.

- It was all Toots's idea.

- [sighs]

Is everybody saying it?

all: Yes.

- So, I guess...

- Surprise, mates!

- How'd you get out?

- You covered me

in peanut butter.

I slipped right out.

- I can't believe you went

to all that trouble, Britt.

That was really nice.

- Hm.

- Oh--sorry we socked

and peanut butter'd you.

- Yeah, it's the kind of thing

we normally do

to our closest friends

and family,

so...welcome to the family.

- [chuckles]

And speaking of family,

let's get this party started

with a little karaoke!

[all cheering]

Ah, this microphone's

got a little dust on it.

- Is that Dicky's sock?

- Our first number will

be a little song

called "We Are Fa..."

- Toots!

- He'll be fine.

- Yeah.

[cheerful rock music]

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪