Original subtitles

- ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Welcome to Captain Galactic's

Pizzatarium, where--

- Where the pizza

is out of this world.

[laughs]

All right, here we go.

Okay, we are gonna take

two galactic sized

meat-eor lovers pizzas, right?

- Sorry, we're just

a little excited.

We're celebrating

a special birthday boy today.

- Oh, really?

Which little space cadet's

birthday is it?

- Mine!

Tommy Harper,

reporting for space duty.

- Dad, don't embarrass us.

- What?

- We're too old for this place.

- Please get out

of the rocket booster seat.

- [groans]

Fine.

- Oh!

- Dad!

- Watch it.

- Whoa!

- Be careful.

Be careful.

Oh!

- I got it.

- Geez.

- Dicky's lucky

he's in Australia

and doesn't have to see this.

- Come on, kids.

You used to love

having your birthday

parties here.

- Sorry, Mom.

Mae and I are just

really stressed out about

our French Club trip.

- If we don't find jobs soon,

we won't be able to pay

the mandatory student-earned

portion of the travel fee.

- And then we'll never

get to Paris.

- Paris, Paris, Paris.

- All you ever talk about

is Paris.

- Come on, Nicky.

Let's go to the arcade

where no one is talking

about Paris.

Okay, let's talk about Paris.

We need to make sure Dawn

has enough money to go to Paris

so we can turn her room

into our man cave

for seven whole days.

- Better make it six.

We're gonna need a full day

to air it out.

- Fair enough.

But that's not gonna happen

if she can't afford to go.

That's why we're gonna win

that hoverboard

and sell it to help her

make money for her trip.

- I don't know.

We're terrible at these games.

Last time we played,

we accidentally

hit Dicky in the head

with a skee ball.

- Relax.

We're much better now.

- How did we hit ourselves

in the head with skee balls?

- Ah, excuse me,

I ordered the, uh,

super solar system big boy

birthday sundae

a light-year ago--what?

- Maybe you girls

could get jobs here.

- Clearly they need the help!

- Well, it's a good idea. You

both have restaurant experience.

- They hire young people.

[clattering]

- See?

Look how young that bus boy is.

- Sorry for the mess.

- That's not a bad idea.

That waitress

just got a $20 tip.

- It's actually a great idea.

A few weeks working here,

and we'll make our Paris money

in no time.

We need to apply today.

- This is ridiculous.

Where is my sundae?

I'm gonna complain

to the manager.

all: No.

- Why not?

It is my birthday!

- We're gonna apply

for jobs here,

and we don't want you

ruining our chances.

- Plus, if you complain,

it'll be extremely

embarrassing.

- Fine,

I won't complain.

But I am sitting

on my rocket booster seat.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[cheerful music]

[whistling]

- I don't know.

Je ne sais pas.

No, Squish.

I didn't say "paw."

I said "pas" .

You're too cute.

High pas.

- Dawn!

Captain Galactic's Pizzatarium

called me

and said I got the job.

Paris, here we come.

Yes! Or should I say,

"Oui oui"?

- Well, I didn't get a call.

So it may just be "you you."

- Well, I'm sure you'll

get the call soon.

- You're right.

I just need to be patient.

- Yeah.

- I can be patient.

- Yeah.

- I'm a patient person.

- Exactly.

- Patient, patient, patient.

[laughs]

Ring!

I need you to ring.

I've been practicing all day.

Please, I'm begging you.

[speaking French]

- You know what?

Maybe we should

practice our French

to get your mind off things.

- Yeah, good idea.

- Okay.

Je travaille

dans un café.

Which means,

"I work at a café."

[snorts and laughs]

That's funny.

I work at a café.

Okay, let's try

something else.

J'ai un bon travail

et mon amie ne l'a pas.

Which means, "I have a good job

and my friend doesn't."

- Why would that even be

in the book?

- Je ne sais pas.

- So how much do you think

all this stuff is worth?

100?

- 200?

[snap]

- Four bucks.

- For all this?

- No, for my time.

This stuff

is worthless.

- Worthless?

Okay, now how are we

gonna get Dawn to Paris?

- This is a big problem.

- You think you guys

got problems?

I can't get out

of these things.

- Just push in.

- Well, I did,

but then I got nervous,

and the stress

made my fingers swell.

- Why did you put them

on all of your fingers?

- I put them on when I thought

I could get out.

It was a joke.

It was supposed to be funny.

- And it is.

[boys laughing]

- Okay, how are we gonna get

Dawn to Paris?

- You should've let

your dad complain

at Captain Galactic's

Pizzaterium.

- [scoffs] And embarrass us?

No, thank you.

- Boys, boys.

Always complain.

My parents complain there

all the time.

And the manager always gives us

free food and tokens.

- That's a great idea.

I think Dooley's

on to something.

Maybe we should do that.

- Yeah.

With enough free tokens,

we'll be able

to win the hoverboard

and get Dawn to Paris.

- But what if there's nothing

to complain about?

- Then you make it up.

They can't prove

you didn't just eat

a mouthful of fleas.

- It's an odd example,

but I'm still on board.

- Yeah.

- Seriously, guys. A little

help?

- Okay, well, don't fight it.

The swelling will go down

if you just relax.

- Well, that's easy

for you to say.

You know, what if I have

to go pee?

Great, now I have to go pee.

[yells]

Oh, oh, oh!

Guys, I think

I dislocated my arms.

- Do you need us to pop them

back in for you?

- Oh, no time!

Oh, it's a button fly!

[phone ringing]

- That's my phone.

Whoa, whoa.

Where's my phone?

[ringing continues]

It's in my hand

and it's still ringing!

Why aren't I answering it?

- Just answer it.

- Answer it?

- Answer it!

- Hello?

Yeah.

Yes, yeah, I--

Yes, I understand.

Thank you.

I got the job!

- Yes!

- Mon gateau a reçu un travail

et mon amie

est un pamplemousse.

Which means, "I got a good job

and my friend did, too."

- Actually, you said,

"My cake got a job,

and my friend

is a grapefruit."

- Okay, in Paris,

you do the talking.

[upbeat rock music]

- Whoa!

Are you sure we can handle

all these wild kids?

- Yeah, it's no different

than my house.

[splat]

There's even flying pizza.

- I'll be right with you two.

Hey, would you take this

to table seven, please?

Thank you.

So, how can I help you guys?

both: Wally?

- Uh, that's Assistant Space

Commander Wally to you.

These stripes don't

just happen, ladies.

- Didn't you used to work at

Urbina Outfitters in the mall?

- Oh, yeah,

for a hot second.

Till Justin started

working there

and got all assistant bossy

on me.

Well, who's the

assistant boss now?

Moi.

- What?

- It's French for "me."

- Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.

[chuckles]

So, we're your

new space-tresses.

This is gonna be so much fun

working for you.

- Yeah.

- Oh, no, it's not.

You see, Assistant

Space Commander Wally

runs a very tight ship.

Now, about your costumes.

- Ooh, I was thinking

I could be a galactic princess.

- And I could be, like,

a space warrior.

- That would be amazing,

if you got to choose

your outfits.

Which you don't.

You have to race for them.

- Race?

[both laughing]

- I'm serious.

Go. Oh, by the way,

only one of them's

been cleaned.

- This isn't so bad, right?

- Do you have any idea

how bad this helmet smells?

[sniffs and gags]

[in electronic voice]

Nope, can't do it.

- Sorry, Bleep-Blop,

but the helmet stays on

at all times, all right?

You guys are doing great,

though.

- Cheer up, Bleep-Blop.

Remember,

we're doing this for Paris.

- [in electronic voice]

Bleep-Blop sad.

[electronic beeping]

[upbeat rock music]

Greetings.

I am your service droid.

My name is...

Oh, hi.

It's me. Mae.

- Nice to meet you,

Memay.

- No, it's me. Mae.

- Yeah, we heard you.

Your name is Memay.

- No, it's me. Mae.

- Jeez, we got a pushy robot.

- Helmet.

[clang]

- You know what?

Just give me your order.

- We will have

a galaxy-sized meteor pizza

and two onion rings of Saturn.

- Fine.

I'll have that back to you

at warp speed.

- Okay, time to put

Dooley's plan into motion.

The more we complain,

the more tokens we'll get.

Houston, we've got

a problem here.

- [groans]

Never heard that one before.

[sighs]

Everything all right

over here, space cadets?

- Don't "space cadet" us.

- We are in no mood

to be space cadetted.

This food is space junk.

- Your food hasn't even entered

your table sphere yet.

- And that's another thing.

Where is our food?

- The service in this dump

is terrible.

- Yeah, I just ate

a mouthful of fleas.

You can't prove I didn't.

- I have to say,

we're regulars.

But after this

terrible experience,

I'm not sure if we

can ever come back.

- My deepest Apollo-gies.

- Oh.

- To make it up to you,

here are some free

alien mustaches.

- Sold.

- No.

- Fine.

We'll take all the free tokens

we can carry.

- No, I have something

much better,

something that'll leave you

far more satisfied.

- He's gonna give us

the hoverboard.

- Um, hey, Bleep-Blop.

Sweetie?

Come over here a sec,

okay?

Hey, um...

you're fired.

both: What?

- I'm what?

- You're fired?

[laughs]

There. Now this tin can

won't have to ruin

anyone's meals ever again.

All right?

Okay.

- I can't believe

we just got Memay fired.

- You didn't get Memay fired.

You got me, Mae, fired!

- Who got you fired?

- Uh, they just left.

- Let's go get 'em.

Forgot my 'staches.

- Now Memay mad.

- Pretty pretty space princess

mad too.

- ♪ Oh-oh-oh,

oh, oh, oh ♪

- [whistling]

- Do you think the girls

will realize

it was just an honest mistake,

and forgive us?

- Wouldn't bet on it.

- Why not?

Ah!

- I can't believe

you guys got Mae fired

for what I assume

is some stupid,

selfish reason.

- You don't know that it was

some stupid, selfish reason.

Okay, it totally was.

- Not only did you cost Mae

her chance at going to Paris,

but you cost me my chance

at going too.

- Wait, why can't you go?

- Well, after testing me

on my French,

Mom and Dad said I can only go

if Mae goes.

She's the only one of us

who can parlez Français.

Whatever that means.

- Look, we're really sorry.

But don't worry.

We can get Mae her job back.

We'll fix this.

- No.

No fixing this.

You're not doing anything

except staying as far away

from Captain Galactic's

Pizzatarium as possible.

- Well, it looks like

we're just gonna have to forget

about Paris.

- No, we can't.

We've been dreaming

about going to Paris.

- Looks like we're just

gonna have to forget

about our man cave.

- No, we can't.

We've been dreaming

about our man cave.

- How about this?

Starting tomorrow,

I'll work double shifts.

That way,

I can earn enough money

for the both of us to go.

- How about this?

Tomorrow after Dawn's shift,

we'll get their manager

to hire Mae back.

That way, they get to go,

and we get our man cave.

- Can we come

to your man cave?

- Not if you're gonna do that.

- Fine.

Then we won't come

to your man cave.

Fry me.

- ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

Okay.

[grunting]

Hi, be right with you.

Watch the crown!

No. Ah!

[sighs]

Made it.

- Sorry about the kids.

- No, it's all good.

Just a little space fight.

- Here.

- Yeah.

And the hot pizza

they threw at me earlier.

Thanks.

And the spaghetti

they put in my shoe.

- Oh, gosh.

- [chuckles]

Thank you so much.

It's a pleasure serving you.

Be sure to ask for me

every time you come back.

- Thanks.

- All right, space princess.

You can blast off.

Your shift's over.

- Oh, I was actually wondering

if you'd let me work

a double shift today.

Please?

- Seriously?

You want more of this?

[clanging and shattering]

- Of course I do.

Isn't that why we work here?

'Cause we love the kids?

[door whirs]

- I say, I say, I say.

You, sir.

Are you the manager

of this here establishment?

- Who wants to know?

- Reginald Farber Junior

the Third.

Attorney at law.

- [laughs]

You cannot be serious.

- As serious as a three-legged

possum in a slanted outhouse.

Now, my client,

Mae B. Valentine,

was fired unjustly,

unkindly,

and in a most

un-southernly manner.

I insist you reinstate

her immediately

or face a lawsuit

for wrongful termination.

- How old are you?

- Older than a three-legged

possum in a slanted outhouse.

- Right, um,

please leave before I blast you

out of a space cannon.

- I'm insult--oh!

All right, time for plan B.

Hey, Miles.

Get in here.

[door whirring]

Excuse me, sir.

- Oh, you've gotta be

kidding me.

- Now, this poor young man

sustained a grave injury at

your Live Long and Pasta bar.

Now, I may be

a simple country lawyer,

but this looks like a clear

case of fettucine al-falldo.

- You did not just say that.

- I surely did.

If you don't give

Mae B. Valentine her job back,

you will be hearing

from my attorney.

- I thought you were

an attorney.

- Then you will be hearing

from me.

Argument won.

Case closed.

When does she start?

- The only thing I'll be

hearing from you is this.

- Ow!

- And the same goes

for your friend here

with the fake injury.

- Ow!

- Ah, okay.

Hey, Ricky?

Time for Plan C.

[door whirring]

- I'm the health inspector,

and this place

has a clear violation of--

Oh!

- Ricky?

What are you doing here?

- Wait, you know him?

- Yeah, he's my brother.

- And I'm assuming you know

the southern dumbbell too?

- Unhand me,

you wretched scoundrel!

- [groans]

Another brother.

- Oh, good.

The whole family's out of here.

- Yes, go.

- I said the whole family.

That means you, too,

princess.

- What?

- Yeah, you're fired.

- Wha--

But this wasn't even my fault.

- If you need representation,

I specialize

in wrongful terminations.

- Yeah, causing them.

- Now, now, now.

I'll do it myself.

Ow!

- Guess this means

we won't be needing plan D.

You can come out, Squish.

We don't need you.

♪

- I hope some of the kids

who are going to Paris can use

these.

- Because Paris for us is just

une rue à sens unique avec une

sauce bibliothèque.

- A one-way street

with library sauce?

- Yes, Mae.

It's a common expression used in

France.

But we're never going

to hear it

because we're not going

to Paris.

[accordion music]

- What's that music?

♪ ♪

- Uh, what's going on?

- [imitating French accent]

Welcome to "Café Pari."

- That's French

for "Café Paris."

- I hope you mademoiselles

like authentic crepes.

Ah-huh-huh-huh!

- Are you okay?

- Yes.

Just laughing

like a French person.

Ah-huh-huh-huh!

- That's not how they laugh.

They laugh like this.

Eh-heh-heh-heh!

- Ah-huh-huh-huh!

- Eh-heh-heh-heh!

- Huh-huh-huh.

- Heh-heh-heh.

- Huh-huh-huh!

- Heh-heh-heh!

- Guys!

Stop!

- Sorry. Look.

We know we messed up both

of your chances to go to Paris.

- So we thought we'd bring

a little bit of Paris to you.

♪ ♪

- Wow, this is sweet.

- So you accept our apology?

- Oh, no, I was talking

about this crepe.

It's delicious.

[laughs]

But, yeah, yeah.

Apology accepted.

- Mmm. Me, too.

Too bad there's no restaurant

in town that serves these.

You guys could make a fortune.

♪ ♪

- Nicky, how many of these

crepes can you make?

- As many as you want.

Why?

- I think I just found

a way to get to Paris

by bringing Paris to Boulder.

Huh-huh-huh!

- Heh. Eh, I told you.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- Play, play.

[accordion music playing]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Frère Jacques ♪

♪ Frère Jacques ♪

♪ Dormez-vous,

dormez-vous ♪

♪ Sonnez les matines,

sonnez les matines ♪

♪ Ding ding dong,

ding ding dong ♪

[cheers and applause]

Merci, merci.

[giggles]

Oh, and don't forget

that all of the profits

from the Get Francey Café

are going toward

Dawn and Mae's trip to Paris.

Merci.

- Two mushroom and brie crepes.

- Bon appétit.

- C'est parfait.

- Okay.

Parfait!

- Baby steps.

- Gracias.

- No.

- And remember,

madames and messieurs,

at Get Sporty,

you will always find

all of your

sporting good needs.

[accordion music plays]

♪ Who loves soccer,

Who loves soccer ♪

♪ How 'bout you?

How 'bout you? ♪

♪ Everybody eats here ♪

♪ You can buy

some cleats here ♪

♪ And balls too,

and balls too ♪

Hey, I almost pulled

a hammy, huh?

Hey, all right. Merci.

[cheers and applause]

- Thanks, guys.

The Get Francey Café is a hit.

- [imitating French accent]

Our pleasure.

- Even Wally loves this place.

- Yeah, and if the café

stays this popular,

we should make our money for

Paris by the end of the day.

- Another order of crepes,

monsieur?

- Oh, yes, please.

I must say,

you guys are doing

a really good job

handling this crowd.

Maybe I made a mistake

firing you two.

both: And?

- And get me my crepes.

- Excuse me,

I think these crepes

are making my son sick.

We'd like a refund.

- I don't feel so good.

- My crepes aren't

making you sick.

Pfft, I know

what you're up to.

J'accuse!

- Fake complaining

so you can get

a meal on the house.

Well, that doesn't work here,

monsieur.

- Ah-huh-huh-huh!

- Heh-heh-heh!

- Ah-huh-huh-huh!

- Heh-heh-heh-heh!

- Ah-huh.

- But there's something

wrong with them.

- We'll be the judge of that.

Yes.

This tastes fine.

- It's magnifique.

- Huh-huh-huh.

- Heh-heh-heh.

- Huh-huh-huh!

- Heh-heh-heh!

[both groaning]

- That's bad.

- Very bad.

- [scoffs]

I told you brie

wasn't something

you get at a gas station.

- [groaning]

- Uh, how many people

had the brie?

Uh-oh.

- Oh, no.

We have to make this right.

- ♪ Here's your refund,

here's your refund ♪

♪ Please don't sue,

please don't sue ♪

- ♪ Our bathroom's

out of order ♪

♪ But there's one

at the drug store ♪

♪ Just buy gum,

just buy gum ♪

- If we have to give

everyone refunds,

how are we gonna pay

for Paris?

- Uh, so, Wally.

Uh, can we have

our old jobs back?

- Uh, yeah, if you give me

some money for gum.

- Yeah.

- I'm gonna need

a lot more gum.

[groans]

[whispers] Thank you.

- We're going to Paris!

- Yeah!

- High five!

[barks]

Oh, sorry, Squishy.

High paw.

- ♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh ♪

[barking]

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪