Original subtitles

- ♪

[Squishy barks]

- Ugh!

I did not sleep

a wink last night.

Okay, this is the part

where you ask me why.

[cereal crunching]

I thought you'd never ask.

Okay, well, Ms. Tassinari

gave yet another Glee Club solo

to Brooklyn and not me.

- That's why you didn't sleep?

Wah.

We've all got problems.

Try tossing and turning

all night because you have

the horrible feeling you didn't

ace your science test.

- Not acing a test?

Talk about a wah.

- Hey, it's a slippery slope.

First, you don't ace one,

then another.

Before you know it,

the perfect GPA you've worked so

hard for

is hopping on the turd boat

to fail town!

- Yeah. Just like

all my hard work with Taylie.

Like, I've been

not talking to her for weeks,

and she still

hasn't talked to me.

- I'm confused. Do you

wanna talk to her or not?

- Of course

I wanna talk to her.

That's why

I'm not talking to her.

- Maybe you need

to change your approach.

- Wait, so you're saying

I gotta talk to her?

But I got nothing

to talk about.

[Squishy barks]

- Well,

all your problems pale

in comparison to mine:

the Boulder-dash.

It's the farthest two points

at the school

that any student

has to travel,

and I have to do it between

second and third period.

Ugh. [voice breaks]

It's nearly impossible.

- Dude, are you crying?

- No. It's my Vidalia onions.

If I'm late for cooking class

one more time,

Mr. Wigglesworth

is gonna give me detention.

- Well, maybe

you'd make it on time

if you weren't

lugging all that food

and--I don't know--

a cast-iron skillet.

- [gasps] My baby

is perfectly seasoned!

I shall not cook without her.

- [sighs]

- Kids, what have we told you

about not paying enough

attention to Squishy?

[together]

That when we don't,

he acts out,

and destroys your stuff.

- Exactly.

And I can't even find

the other one.

- Hey, why have you kids

been ignoring Squishy?

Clearly,

he needs his play time.

- Sorry.

We've all been

too busy

with things at school.

- Well, you can't use school

as an excuse

not to take care of your dog.

You have to take your Squishy

responsibilities seriously.

- Found your

other slipper, Tom.

- Oh. Well, at least

he didn't chew that one, huh?

[both chuckle]

[clears throat]

- [sighs]

- But he did

leave something in it.

- [gasps] Squishy!

- Yes! Yes, it is.

- Ew.

- Ugh!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,

na, na, na, na, na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

[cheerful music]

- Hey, guys!

Wish me luck.

Ms. Tassinari said

she's gonna be giving out

one more solo

for the Spring Sing.

Maybe it'll be me.

- And maybe I aced my test.

- And maybe I'll think

of something to talk to Taylie

about.

[metal clanging]

- [sighs]

I know that clanging.

- It's the 9:58 Boulder-dash.

- [screaming]

Coming through, people!

Coming through!

Make a hole, people!

I'm on the Boulder-dash!

[school bell rings]

The tardy bell!

Mr. Wigglesworth, no!

[gasps]

- You are tardy! Again!

- I'm sorry, I--

- If you don't have

a legitimate excuse,

it's detention for you!

- I have a legitimate excuse--

- And I don't want to hear

any balderdash

about the Boulder-dash.

Wah.

- Okay, well, I--

[cell phone chimes]

- Mr. Harper,

is there something

more interesting

on your phone

than detention?

- Sorry, my dog

had an accident.

- An accident?

Well, that sounds serious.

- It is serious.

- [gasps] How serious?

- Very serious.

[sniffles] My dad's

been texting me all morning.

That's why I'm tardy!

- [stammers] No tardy.

No tardy.

- [weeping]

[rock music]

- Oh, Nicky!

We just wanted to say

we're so sorry.

- I know.

- [sighs]

- [weakly] I know.

- We hope he gets better soon.

- I know.

[sniffles]

I know.

- Poor Squishy!

- Squishy?

What's wrong with Squishy?

- Oh...

- They don't know.

[whispers] They don't know.

- Well, tell us! Tell us!

- [sighs]

Will you guys excuse me

for one second?

- Of course.

- [sighs]

Oh! [sniffles]

Oh, thank you.

[inhales deeply]

- What's wrong with Squishy?

- [voice breaks] Nothing.

[normal voice]

Absolutely nothing.

- So what's wrong?

- Yeah, did you get detention?

- Nope. None.

Absolutely none.

- Then what's going on?

Tell us!

- All right.

So I was tardy again.

I may have made up

a teeny-tiny little excuse

about Squishy

breaking his leg.

- [gasps]

- And his tail.

- [gasps]

- And his head.

- [gasps]

- And I used

my chopped Vidalia onions

to make it look

like I was crying.

- Wait, Nicky,

how could you do this?

- Actually, I just panicked.

And once the first one

came out,

they all just kept coming out

like a river of lies.

But, oh, the best part is,

no tardy, no detention,

and hugs from girls.

- I can't believe this.

I've heard enough.

- Nicky, you can't just play

on people's sympathies

like that; it's wrong.

- Yeah, and you better hope

the truth doesn't come out

'cause you'll be in detention

for the rest of the year.

- Oh, hey, check it out.

Dicky's finally

talking to Taylie.

Huh. Wonder what

he found to talk about.

- [weeping] And his head.

- [gasps]

- And his tail.

- [gasps]

- And his legs.

He's got four of the cutest

little casts you've ever seen.

Maybe someday...

[sniffles]

[strained]

You can sign them.

[sobbing]

- What did you do? I thought

you said you heard enough!

- Yeah, I did. I heard enough

to know it would work.

The onions were clutch, dude.

- Vidalia never fail ya.

- No! No fist-bumping!

This is Squishy

we're talking about.

- I can't believe you two.

Using a fake story

about our beloved dog

to get what you want?

I, for one, would never

stoop so low.

- Ricky, I've got

some good news for you.

You got a 99 on your test.

Top of the class!

- 99?

[high-pitched] Toot-toot!

- Ooh, tootin'

your own horn, huh?

- No!

That's the toot-toot

of the turd boat

leaving the harbor!

You need to let me

retake this test.

I need my 100.

- Ricky, you know

I only allow retakes

under extreme circumstances.

- My dog!

- Are you kidding me?

- Dawn,

it's a victimless crime.

- And besides,

it's not gonna affect you.

- You say that all the time,

and yet somehow it always does.

- Your actions affect us too,

you know? We have feelings.

- Nice try,

but the Vidalias...

just failed ya.

- [sighs]

You over-onioned, dude.

[rock music]

- And I've decided

who will get

the final solo for our...

♪ Spring Sing ♪

[giggles]

Dawn Harper...

- Yes!

- Was my first choice

until I heard

the awful news about your dog.

- No!

- That is so sad.

And I don't want to put

any extra burden on you.

So I'm giving the solo

to Brooklyn.

- Of course you are.

- As a fellow dog owner,

I know how hard

this must be for you.

And I'm sure it's hard

on your brothers as well.

- It's hitting me now,

but it's really

about to hit them.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, guys.

We heard about Squishy.

- Yeah.

Everybody's texting about him.

- Is he gonna be okay?

- [sighs] Look.

We know it sounds serious...

- But it's not

as bad as you think.

- It's not?

- Uh...

[both sobbing]

- No, it's much, much worse!

- Did you hear that, everybody?

Poor Squishy

is much, much worse!

- [weeping]

I could use a hug!

[brothers sobbing]

- Look, Ms. Tassinari,

I understand your concerns,

but I can still do the solo.

It's not a burden at all.

- Dawn,

you don't have to be tough.

We've all heard

about poor Squishy.

- Yeah, about that...

It's really not as bad

as you think.

[cell phones chiming]

- [gasps] Oh, no!

Sadie just texted

that Kipper just posted

that Dicky told Taylie that

Squishy is worse

than we thought.

all: Aww...

- Will you excuse me

for one second?

[piano clangs]

Sorry!

Hey guys, remember how

you promised me

that your Squishy lies

wouldn't affect me?

- Yeah, how's that going?

- Not good!

Everybody's

texting what you said

about Squishy being

much worse,

and now Ms. Tassinari

doesn't want

to "burden me"

with a solo.

- Well, yeah, but you

don't get solos anyway.

- I was getting this one!

- Congratulations.

- It's nice to get

some good news

in the middle of

all this Squishy tragedy.

- There is no tragedy!

- Haven't you heard the news?

- [sighs] Listen,

you guys need to stop lying

and come clean to everyone

so that I can get my solo back.

- But, Dawn, I would lose out

on retaking that test.

- Yeah, and I would

miss out on Taylie.

- And I would get detention.

- Okay, okay.

I get it.

You don't

have to tell the truth.

But please,

for me, go back in there

and tell everyone that Squishy

made a miraculous recovery.

- Wait, so you want us to lie

to get out of a lie?

- How low do you want us to go?

- So low that I get my solo.

[rock music]

- Hey, Anne?

I know I told the kids to

pay more attention to Squishy.

Just in case that doesn't

happen, I got him a friend.

[barking]

Oh!

- No! You did not

get another dog, did you?

- No, it's better than a dog.

It's a robot dog.

[Squishy growls,

robot dog whirs]

[rock music]

- Excuse me.

Sorry, I just had to go

take care of a little thing.

So what'd I miss?

- Well, actually,

Sadie and Kipper

brought us

some very exciting news.

Principal Noonan--

- Was so moved by your tragedy--

- That she wants

the Booster Club to hold--

- Hold a fund-raiser

for Squishy.

- Right.

Because she knows--

- How expensive

the vet bills can be.

- I got it. And she'd lo--

- Love to help out.

- Still got it.

Isn't a fun--

- A fund-raiser

a great idea?

- Fund-raiser?

Oh, no, no, no, it's--

it's really not necessary.

In fact, I think

you're all going to hear

some very good

Squishy news soon.

- Oh, well,

that would change things

because I was thinking

it would pull more heartstrings

and raise more money

for Squishy if you--

- You performed a song

in front of the whole school!

- Can't give me one?

- Wait, me perform a song

in front of the whole school?

Like a solo?

- This would've been

such a great chance

for you to stand out.

- But that

doesn't matter anymore!

- It doesn't?

- No, the good news is,

Squishy seems to be

getting better.

- Oh, no, no, no, no!

He's not getting better.

In fact, I was just

saying that to make

you all feel better, but

he's actually getting worse.

It's really bad.

So about my solo...

[weeping]

[voice breaks]

What should I wear?

[cell phone chimes]

- Taylie just texted

that Miles said that Dicky

told Mae that Nicky and Ricky

have big news about Squishy.

- [wailing] Be right back!

- So the truth

about Squishy is--

- [grunts]

- Oh!

- Squishy's worse than ever!

He actually

just came down with...

woofing cough.

- I've never heard of that.

- Yeah, well,

it's very, very rare.

In fact, we're having

a benefit concert

for poor, sick, woofing,

bent, little Squishy,

where I will be performing

my very first solo!

You should all come.

- We definitely will.

For Squishy!

all: For Squishy!

- What?

- Woofing cough?

Is that even a real thing,

or is this all

just a quad thing?

- A--a quad thing?

- What's that?

- Well,

it's a Mae way of saying,

"big, fat lie."

- Pssh!

Why would I big, fat lie?

I mean, it's not like

I made up a disease

just to sing a solo

at a benefit

or my brothers made up

a broken tail

just to get out of detention

or get a hug

or get to retake a test.

- Yeah, those all sound

like quad things.

- [coughing]

Big, fat lies!

- Well, they're not.

Gentlemen.

Hmph!

- Well, well, well.

- How the tables have turned.

- Looks like my shoe

was on the other foot.

- What? That's not

the saying, Dicky.

- What saying? My left shoe

is on my right foot.

- There you are.

[together] Principal Noonan!

- I've been looking for you!

- You have?

- We need to talk

about this benefit

for your dog, right now.

- We do?

- Yes.

The whole thing

just doesn't feel right.

- It doesn't?

- No!

Broken leg, broken head,

broken tail,

and now woofing cough?

- It's a thing.

- I know.

My dog had it.

- It's a thing!

- But something

still just doesn't feel right.

- Why is she

dragging this out so long?

- We cannot have a benefit

without the guest of honor.

You need to bring Squishy

to the school

so you can sing to him.

- Bring him here?

- Exactly.

We'll see you and that

poor little pup here tomorrow.

Dicky, your shoes

are on the wrong feet.

- She knows my name!

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- No one at the benefit

is gonna buy this.

- Looks good to me.

- Says the guy whose shoes

are still on the wrong feet.

- It has to work!

- Hey!

You're playing with Squishy?

- [nervous laugh]

- Yeah!

- Taking our Squishy

responsibilities seriously.

- Like you told us.

- Why are you

wrapping him in gauze?

- We're not.

We found him like this.

And we're unwrapping him.

- Okay, this seems

like a quad thing.

- When did everybody

start saying "a quad thing"?

- Change the subject.

- Right.

Hey, Mom, did you hear

Dawn is singing a solo

in a charity fund-raiser

for school?

- Dawn! A solo?

Honey, that is wonderful!

When is it? Your dad and I

are not missing this.

- You can't come!

I mean, I'd be nervous

if you guys were there.

Plus, it's for a totally

ridiculous charity.

- Really? What charity?

- Uh...

- Squirrels.

- Who are allergic to nuts.

- It's a real problem.

- 'Cause that's what they eat.

[laughs]

- Yeah, this sounds

like a quad thing too.

- When did everyone

start calling our lies

"a quad thing"?

- Forget about that!

Just help me

make this look believable.

- Hey, kids!

I know how busy

you've been lately,

so I got Squishy a friend.

Who's a good girl?

Who's a good girl, huh?

[Squishy growls,

robot whirs]

Now play.

- You guys thinking

what I'm thinking?

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Squishy's here!

all: Aww.

- Such a brave little fella.

- Oh, no, no!

- Not too close.

- Doctor's orders.

- He's highly contagious.

- Trust me, you do not want

woofing cough!

- Yeah. She got it from him.

- [shrill cough, chuckles]

[barks]

[sheepish laugh]

I've got a touch of it.

[barking]

- [barking]

It really does linger.

Wow, that is some cast!

Can he breathe okay in there?

- Oh, sure. Doc left him

a little breathing hole.

- And a poop slot.

- Will you excuse us,

Principal Noonan?

Little guy needs his rest.

- Yes. Rest is good.

[coughs, barks]

- Can you believe

all these people

are here to support Squishy?

[toy squeaks]

- This is for Squishy.

[toy squeaking]

Seeing him

in that full doggy cast

makes me feel terrible for

thinking it was a quad thing.

Even you wouldn't

take it this far.

- Of course we wouldn't.

Thanks for your support, Mae.

[louder] And thanks

for all of your support!

Now, Squishy needs his rest.

- Yeah, he really does.

- He's been through so much.

- Your love

is really helping him heal!

I don't really believe

they believed us.

- We totally took it too far!

- Maybe we

should've told the truth.

- Ugh.

[toy squeaking]

If we bail now,

you get detention,

you get no re-test,

and you get no Taylie!

So start selling this thing!

[all barking]

[rock music]

- [sighs]

I'm sad we're not with

our little girl right now.

- I know. I feel like

I haven't seen her

in, like, an hour.

- Oh, she's gotta be so nervous.

- Terrified. She's all alone.

- Without us.

I mean, don't you think she

would want us with her?

- Oh, I'm sure she would,

Anne,

but I've been calling for her

and whistling for her.

I even made her

this cute little outfit.

- Who are you talking about?

- Denise.

Who are you talking about?

- Our daughter,

who is singing her

first solo today without us!

- Oh. Right.

Pretty cute, though, huh?

- [sighs] I'm leaving, Tom.

- What? Over this?

This is nowhere near

the worst thing I've ever done!

- For the benefit.

- Oh. Right.

Me too! [laughs]

Let's go, Squish.

I don't wanna lose two dogs

and almost your mother

in one day.

[rock music]

- Thank you.

- You're too kind.

- [blubbering]

- We're monsters!

- Hold it together!

You're an angel.

- We're devils!

- [exhales] Okay.

It's almost showtime.

- Attention, everyone!

As co-chairs of

the student body boosters,

we just wanted to thank you all

for coming out today

and for your generous

donations of love.

[applause]

- Okay. It's almost showtime.

- But before Dawn sings,

let's welcome

some neighborhood children

who have come

to literally

open their piggy banks

all in the name of Squishy.

Kids!

- [exhales]

- Steady, boys.

- We've done some selfish

things before, but this...

- Here you go.

It's my life savings.

- [wheezing]

- This is rock bottom!

- No, it's not.

- This is my best friend.

I call him, Bobby.

I want Squishy to have it.

- [gasps] This is.

- Beautiful.

Let's give it up

for Josephine and Grayson,

Principal Noonan's kids.

- Correction.

[applause]

- Dawn Harper is going to now

sing a song of pure joy.

You're so brave.

- Thank you, everyone.

[sighs]

This goes out to all of you.

And Squishy.

[gentle piano music]

- [whispering] Hi!

- Squishy?

[together] Squishy!

all: Squishy?

- [growling, barking]

[all gasp]

[crowd gasps]

- Denise!

- Well, the good news is,

Squishy is all right.

So hit it, Ms. T!

And a one, and a two,

and a three--

[gasps]

- I knew it was a quad thing!

- She knew

it was a quad thing!

[rock music]

- So, after

a full day of dog washing,

do you think you kids have

finally learned your lesson?

[together] Yes.

- We have.

- We will never again

play on people's sympathies

just to get what we want.

- No more big, fat quad things.

- You don't have to say

"big, fat."

- Just quad things.

- So I guess we're done.

- Not yet!

Khaleesi needs a bath.

- We're gonna need

a bigger sponge.

- [barks]

- Oh!

- Ugh!

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪