Original subtitles

- ♪ ♪

- All right, guys.

I'm just gonna say it.

I am loving

Boulder Academy.

- And I'm just gonna say it.

I am loving our

Uman Behavior class.

- And I'm just gonna say it.

It's human.

Human, with an H.

- Oh, yeah? Then why

does my book say Uman?

- Because your thumb

is over the H.

- Oh.

I guess that explains my Ath,

Eography, and Panish classes.

- So, where are we gonna

find a human

to study for our

human behavior project?

We're supposed to observe

someone with issues

and help them overcome them.

- [giggling]

Here. I'll catch up

with you guys later.

all: ♪ A-E-I-O-U... ♪

- Hey, guys,

check out Dawn.

- This is the third day

in a row

she's stared into that room.

- What's going on with her?

- This is the third day

in a row

you've stared

into that room.

What's going on with you?

- Nothing.

- Come on.

The tilted head...

- The sappy smile...

- The breathy sigh.

- I know exactly

what this is.

- This is textbook.

- You want to be

in glee club.

- She's crushing on a boy.

- [sighs]

I totally do.

- She totally is.

- You've got a thing

to sing.

- She's in the mood

for dude.

- Well, they're holding

auditions this week.

You should try out.

- Oh, I couldn't.

Could I?

No, I shouldn't.

Should I?

But I can't.

But can I?

- Okay, I'm just

gonna jump in here.

Why can't you?

- Well, I mean,

I've sung for you,

and in the shower,

and in Oz in my dreams,

but the one time I tried

to sing in front of people

was at an audition

when I was seven.

And it didn't go so good.

- I'm sure it wasn't that bad.

- I yodeled, Mae.

- Yodeled? Why would you yodel?

- I don't know.

Maybe 'cause I was nerv--

♪ Who-who! ♪

Yep, I'm a nervous yodeler.

- Oh, yeah. She's got

an eye for that guy.

- She's got it bad

for that lad.

- Ooh, I've got one.

Looks like we found the subject

for our human behavior project.

- And you ruined it.

- Wait, I've got more.

- Just get away from us.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[cheerful music]

[laughter]

- I wonder what

they're talking about.

- Dawn, if you really wanna be

in Glee Club that bad,

just audition.

What do you have to lose?

- My dignity. My pride. My name.

- Your name?

- Yeah. I mean, just ask him.

He sneezed in his audition

last year,

and now he's

"Snot Rocket Scott."

- Could've been Snotty Scotty.

- His name is Mike!

- Hmm. Human Behavior Project

journal entry one.

We are observing subject to help

her get over her desire

for that unattainable squire.

Any conclusions?

- Yes.

That one wasn't good either.

- What are you boys up to?

- Just working on our project

for Human Behavior class.

- We have to help someone with

deep behavioral issues.

- Ooh, your father's available.

- Oh, Anne, please.

I do not have issues.

- He has been sleep-eating

again.

He sleepwalks right to the

fridge and chows down.

- Wha-where are you

getting this?

- Ah, right there.

It looks like you're hiding

a chicken under your shirt.

- I have to poke it.

- I gotta poke.

- [giggles] Everybody

stop poking!

Fine, I have a problem.

So, can you, uh,

can you help Tommy's tummy?

- The problem seems

a little too...

fat.

- Hon!

- What? They got to.

- Dawn, I've heard you sing.

And you're really good.

You should go for it.

- You're just saying that just

'cause you're my best friend.

- Fine. You want brutal honesty?

Let's ask your brothers.

- Human Behavior Project

journal entry two:

we've been invited into

the belly of the beast,

so we're leaving...

the belly of the beast.

- Dawn needs your opinion

on something,

and we need you to be

brutally honest.

- She doesn't have a chance.

- Give up now.

- That guy is way out

of her league.

- Dawn's not talking

about a guy.

She wants to join the Glee Club.

[together] Ohhh.

- Project's off.

- Back to Tubby Tommy.

- But she won't audition

because she's terrified

to sing in public.

It's a real issue.

[together] Aww.

- Project's back on.

- Chicken Gut's on his own.

- Dawn, I'm not sure

if you're aware,

but we're taking

a Human Behavior class.

I think we can help you.

- You help me?

Why, what's in it

for you?

- [scoffs] Dawn.

Dawny Bear. Dawndelion.

Why does there have to be

anything in it for us?

- Because there's always

something in it for you.

Besides, what could you have

possibly learned in that class

that's gonna help me?

- Come on, Dawn, if you know

our techniques in advance,

you might not be receptive.

Eh? Eh?

[together] Eh? Eh?

- I can't believe I'm

saying this,

but...

I'm in.

- Huh?

[rock music]

- So, Dawn,

tell us about your childhood.

- It was the same as yours.

- Hmm, interesting.

- What about your relationship

with your parents?

- Same as yours.

- Hmm, interesting.

- Now, I'm going to say a word

and you say the first thing

that pops into your mind.

Taco.

- Delicious.

- How is any of this helping?

I mean, you should be asking me

questions like,

"What are you afraid of?

What are your fears?"

- Oh, Dawn.

I think we know the questions

to ask.

So what are you afraid of?

What are your fears?

- Well, I'm afraid I'm going

to put myself out there

in front of the entire

Glee Club,

get really nervous,

open my mouth,

and all that's gonna come out

is a yodel.

- A yodel?

- Yeah. I mean,

it's my secret shame.

When I was seven,

I had a singing audition

and I got so nervous,

I opened my mouth and yodeled.

For no reason.

- Well, in my experience,

there's always a reason.

Do you think she knows we're

the reason?

- Maybe we can test her

and find out.

- So, do you have any

recollection of where

this yodeling came from?

- No.

- Hmm.

Or who it may have come from?

- None whatsoever.

- So you don't remember

the three of us

practicing our yodeling right

next to your bed

while you were sleeping?

- No.

- We're good, guys.

- W-wait, what do you mean

you yodeled

while I slept?

- Pfff, yodeling.

- Us?

- Lie down.

I'm going to say a word--

[together] We're so sorry, Dawn!

- When we were seven, Mom took

you to soccer,

but Dad took us to yodeling.

He wanted us to compete!

- It was our secret shame!

So we practiced at night when

no one could hear us.

- It must have gotten into your

head while you were sleeping

and that's why you yodeled.

- Can I just have a taco now?

- [scoffs] Seriously?

Late-night yodeling?

You're just making that up to

give me a reason why I yodeled.

- Does this sound like

we're making it up?

Eins, zwei.

Eins, zwei, drei, bier.

[yodeling]

- Wow.

And wow.

So it was yodel-ehe-you.

You and your late night yodeling

did get into my head.

- But now that you know it's us

that caused it,

you should be cured?

Eh? Eh?

[together] Eh? Eh?

- Huh.

You're right.

I mean, it wasn't my fault.

It was your fault.

I can't believe

I'm saying this,

but... maybe I am cured.

Thanks, guys.

- You're welcome.

Subject is cured.

Therapists feel humiliated.

♪ ♪

- ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

- So your brothers'

therapy session

really worked?

- I think it did.

I mean. I'm not nervous at all.

Ooh, signup.

- Big day, huh?

- Yup.

- Hi. I'm Brooklyn,

Glee Club Captain.

- Hi. I'm Dawn.

- I'm Moo.

I moon Mae.

I mean Moe.

Why am I nervous?

- I don't know,

but I'm not.

- It's okay.

Everybody gets nervous.

- Mae!

My name's Mae. I'm not

auditioning.

- I am.

- You know what helps

nervous hopefuls?

- Not nervous.

- The Welcome Song.

It calms the nerves.

- My nerves are fine.

- ♪ Wellllcome ♪

♪ To the nerrrvous ♪

♪ Giiirrrl ♪

What's your name again?

- Dawn.

Not nervous.

- ♪ Dawwwwnn ♪

♪ "Not Nervous"

Dawwwwnn ♪

- It's just Dawn.

- ♪ Welcome to the not nervous ♪

♪ Juuusst ♪

♪ Dawwwnnn ♪

[applause]

I hope that helped.

- It did.

I feel much better.

- I don't!

Now I'm nervous.

She's so good.

- First up,

Dawn Harper.

- [stammering]

Maybe I don't belong here.

- Yes, you do.

You got this, Dawn.

- Mae's right. You got this.

Just don't think

about yodeling.

[yodeling]

- Okay.

You're good now.

- Ms. Harper,

whenever you're ready.

- Eeeeeee.

[clears throat]

Eeeeeee.

Eeeeeee.

Run!

- At least she didn't yodel.

[rock music]

- I can't believe this.

I'm so humiliated.

- Come on, Dawn.

It wasn't that bad.

- Really?

It's all over FaceShack.

The AV Club even made a mashup

of me talking to a dolphin.

Eeeee.

[chittering]

Eeeee.

[chittering]

- [laughing] Wait.

What were you and the dolphin

talking about?

- Oh, not much.

I mean, he was just telling me

that my dream of being in

Glee Club is officially over.

- You got all that from

an "eeee?"

Fascinating language.

- Don't worry, Dawn.

We can fix this.

- No. I'm done.

I'm done auditioning,

I'm done singing,

and I'm definitely done with you

guys getting in my head.

Huh? Huh? Uh-uh.

- This is terrible.

- I know.

We'll never get an A in Human

Behavior now.

- No, not the grade.

I feel bad about Dawn.

- Yeah, I feel bad

about Dawn, too.

- We all feel bad about Dawn.

But for once, why don't we

put ourselves first?

- We always put ourselves first.

- Then what are we

arguing about?

- But Dawn just said she's tired

of us getting in her head.

- What if she doesn't know

we're there?

Human Behavior Project

entry 26:

we know from past

yodeling incident

that subject is susceptible to

suggestion when she sleeps.

- Are you sure this hypnosis

stuff we got off the internet

is gonna work?

- Trust me, it'll work,

especially on a heavy sleeper.

When you hear two claps,

you will be transformed.

You will become a strong-willed,

confident teenage girl.

You will be so confident

that you will want to redo

your audition

with no fear of failure.

Okay, I think that should do it.

- That's it?

That's not enough to

restore her confidence.

- Yeah. Give her some swag.

- That was a perfectly

appropriate amount of swag.

- The fact that you just

said it like that

proves you know nothing

about swag.

- Subject is stirring! Let's .go

- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

- She's coming.

- Ah!

- Oh!

- That was more of

a "she's here."

- What?

- Nothing.

- How'd you sleep?

- Well...

I dreamt I auditioned for

a dolphin glee club,

and even they didn't want me.

Or should I say,

meeeeee.

I'm never auditioning for

anything ever again.

- We'll see about that.

[claps]

Feeling any more confident?

- More confident?

Ha!

I laughed.

Ha! I laughed again.

I don't lack confidence.

The only thing I lack

is my breakfast sushi.

So where's my tuna tataki?

- What's she tatalking about?

- This is just a guess,

but...

I don't think Ricky gave you

enough confidence.

You're not just a good

singer; you're a star.

No. A megastar!

Like those divas who eat sushi

for every meal.

- I told you I had it covered.

- Um, hello?

[snaps] BeyDawncé doesn't like

to wait.

- BeyDawncé? Where is that

coming from?

- You're the greatest singer

in the world.

You own every stage you step on.

You're not Dawn; you're...

[snaps] BeyDawncé!

- Oh, please. No pictures,

no pictures.

- Nobody's taking your picture.

- Oh, no, I just don't want

these pictures on the fridge.

More me, less you.

- Okay, you have got

to snap her out of this!

- Right! Snap her out of it.

How do I snap her out of it?

- You don't know?!

- I read about how

to hypnotize her,

not how to dehypnotize her.

- Come on, pants.

You got this!

[inhales]

- You talking to

your pants again?

Tom, do you even hear me?

- [gasps]

Why did my mom buy me

these pants?

They're, like,

totes made for boys.

But I can still pull them off

because I'm a strong-willed,

confident teenage girl,

but I don't wanna.

- Tom, are you okay?

- Stop judging me!

Why are you trying

to ruin my life?!

- Tom? I really think we should

have the boys examine you!

- Get out of my room!

- Well, I'm off to Glee Club.

- Wait! You can't go to school

and audition for the Glee Club.

- Oh, whoever said I

was gonna audition?

I'm gonna march down there

so they can beg me

to join their little group.

- Maybe making them beg isn't

the best approach.

- Oh, well, certainly not

dressed like this.

Scoot scoot.

I look so basic.

And there's nothing

basic about

[snaps] BeyDawncé.

- Search for the answer faster!

It's not my fault Dad would only

pay for the slow wi-fi.

- This is bad. BeyDawncé is

going to ruin Dawn's chances

of ever getting into

that Glee Club.

- She's gone!

- Come on. I'll research how

to fix her on the way.

[rock music]

- Ta-ta!

[gasps] Hellooo.

Miles, you look like you want

an autograph.

Here.

- Hey, that's my math

homework.

- Well, now it's

a collector's item.

You're welcome.

- What is happening?

- I don't know,

but I bet the boys did

something stupid.

- We did something stupid!

- See, we may have tried

to hypnotize Dawn

to give her enough confidence

to audition for the Glee Club

again.

- And we may have gone too far

and turned her into a diva.

- And I may have definitely

named her BeyDawncé.

- Until I can figure out how to

get her back to being just Dawn,

we need to keep her from going

into the Glee Club.

- Too late.

BeyDawncé's begonecé.

- Sorry I'm late, people.

- You came back!

♪ Wellllcome back ♪

♪ To the braaave giiirrrl ♪

- That's adorable.

But you're a little

pitchy, sweetheart.

I would have done

it more like this.

[clears throat]

♪ Thank you for welcoming

meeeee ♪

♪ Agaaaain ♪

What's your name again?

- We met.

I'm Brooklyn.

- ♪ We meeettt ♪

♪ I'm Brooklynnnn! ♪

- Wow, she's good!

- My nervous song always helps.

- Dawn's going up on stage.

- I'll stall her.

You need to dehypnotize her now.

- BeyDawncé, listen.

A star like you s--

a megastar like you shouldn't

waste your talent

on this silly

little Glee Club.

- You're right.

The whole world needs

to see this.

Film me.

- It says here while she was

being hypnotized,

I was supposed to

suggest a trigger

to snap her out of it.

But I didn't do that.

- Then the trigger could

be anything.

- Ooh! Animal noises!

- I don't do animal noises.

- Just make noise!

[cacophony]

- Wow. Impressive.

- I've got deep pits.

[cacophony]

- Listen to my wild fans.

They're hungry for

[snaps] BeyDawncé.

- ♪ Wellll here's a little

taste for yooou ♪

♪ So open your earrrrrs

and don't leave ♪

♪ Until you're satisfiiiied ♪

- Well, it's good to see you

back, my dear,

but save yourself

for the audition.

- Audition?

I think it's pretty clear that

I do not need to audition.

- Dawn--

- Uh, uh, uh.

It's BeyDawncé.

And you're in my light.

So, scoot scoot.

[chuckles]

♪ Scoot, scoot, scoot ♪

- I got it!

I said she'd transform when she

heard two claps.

But I never said in or out, so

maybe it'll work both ways.

- Um, where am I?

And--and why am I

dressed like this?

- We'll explain in the hall.

- They're hungry

for BeyDawncé.

♪ Well, here's a little

taste for yoooou ♪

- Wow. I can't believe

you guys used me

as some sort of guinea pig.

♪ Until you're satisfiiiied ♪

- Whoa.

I sound really good.

And I'm sounding good

in front of people.

I'm not yodeling or squeaking

like a dolphin.

I'm actually singing.

- So now that we've shown you

you can sing in public,

you're not mad at us?

- Well of course I'm mad at you.

But you helped me realize

that if BeyDawncé has

that kind of confidence,

and I'm her, then I should have

that confidence deep inside too.

- What do you know?

For once, things actually worked

out and nothing bad happened.

- Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom.

You don't actually

go to school here.

We are just here because

the kids forgot their lunches.

- I have to find Jenny.

I have so much to tell her.

- You don't think we...

- I should probably

dehypnotize him.

- No, not yet.

Let's see how this plays out.

- You hand me that phone

right now...

young lady.

- [gasps]

I hate you!

- 8-6-7-5-3-OMG.

He does know a Jenny.

- Now, if you'll excuse me...

There's something I need to do

♪ I'm much more than this world

has planned for me ♪

♪ Bigger than the box they made

to hold me ♪

♪ And all the roads may change ♪

♪ And life rearrange ♪

♪ It is only... ♪

- Wow, she really is good.

- I've inspired another one.

- ♪ I'll be unstoppable, whoa ♪

- That's my best friend

up there.

- And that's our sister.

- And that's our dad.

- Your headband

is totes adorbs.

- ♪ Unstoppable, whoa ♪

[applause]

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪