Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

- I'm starving.

- Me too.

- There's food in the fridge.

- [groans]

All the way over there?

You go.

- No, you go.

- You go!

- No, you go!

- No, you go!

- Go!

- Nobody has to go! We can just

reach the fridge from here using

the grabber.

- Good idea. Where's the

grabber?

[laughter]

[all straining]

- All the way over there?

You get it.

- No, you get it.

- No, you get it.

- No, you get it.

- No, you get it.

- Fine!

I'll get it.

[laughter]

[grabber clicks]

[scrunches]

Nope, won't reach.

- Hello, boys.

You're looking at the two girls

who're about to have...

the best summer ever.

- Us, too.

As soon as we get

a longer grabber.

- While you guys are sitting

around, wasting your summer,

Mae and I will be making money

from our fun, new jobs.

- At the only man-made

beach in Colorado!

- We're working at

the Boulderly Hills

Country Club

kids-only beach club.

- No way!

- The B.H.C.C. K.O.B.C?

- You bet your B.U.T.T.

And when we aren't working,

we get to use the wave pool,

beach volleyball courts,

get manis--

- Pedis--

both: Mani-pedis!

- Wow.

You guys are

real go-getters.

- Yeah. I've got a fun job

for you go-getters.

How about

you go get us some food?

- Happy to.

- [groans]

- You get it.

- You get it.

- No, you get it!

- We need the grabber.

- The go-getter

grabbed the grabber!

- Go get her!

- Grab her!

- [sighs]

- We need a go-getter

grabber grabber.

- I got this.

I grabbed it!

[laughter]

- Okay.

[clicks]

- [groans]

This thing is useless.

♪ ♪

[overlapping chatter]

- I can't believe

we're here.

- I know,

this is so exciting.

- All right,

let's get to work.

Mae, you're the hostess.

When people come in,

you greet 'em and seat 'em.

Dawn,

you're waiting tables.

So when people come in--

- I treat 'em and feed 'em?

- I do the rhymes here.

Okay, Dawn?

Now if you're able,

there's your first table.

And that's

how it's done, hon.

- Looks like I'm the hostess

with the most-ess.

- I do the rhymes!

- All right, Mae.

Our best summer ever

starts right now.

Welcome to the Boulderly Hills

Country Club!

How can I help--

You!

- Us.

- No!

boys: Yes!

- Our best summer ever

starts now!

Whoo!

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

- ♪ One, two,

one-two-three-four! ♪

♪ ♪

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

This is supposed to be

my best summer ever!

- Well, we took a long, hard

look at ourselves, and realized

that sitting around in PJs

all day was just denying

the ladies all this.

- Yeah, who doesn't want

to see hunks in trunks?

- I do the rhyming!

- How did you guys

even get in here?

- [chuckles]

Turns out,

Trey's parents are members,

so he brought us.

- Look, I don't want

you no-getters

getting in the way of this...

[whispers]

go-getter.

- Why are you whispering?

- Because my boss

does the rhyming.

- My ears have never

been sharper, Harper.

- Dawn, you've got

nothing to worry about.

I mean, we're just here

to chill, get tan,

and eat lots of food.

- You know,

all the stuff you can't do

because you're working.

- Yeah, nice choice, Dawn.

- Speaking of working,

how about you grab us

some waters.

- Fine, that's easy enough.

- I want flat water.

- I want bubbles.

- I want a straw...

I'll make my own bubbles.

- Hi!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Say cheese!

- Wait, what are you guys

still doing here?

- We wanted to see our baby

at her first real job.

- Okay,

you've seen me, now go!

If you get caught around here,

I could get in trouble.

- Okay, shh, shh.

- Okay, one more for grandma.

- Yeah.

- Here we go.

- Okay, smile.

- Now, Uncle Larry.

- Smile!

- Okay, okay.

You need to go! Go!

- We love you so much!

- Before my first

real boss sees you!

- Dawn...

your table's complaining

that their "go-getter"

hasn't gotten them

their water yet.

- Got it.

I'm getting it.

- Good!

Because I don't have time

to babysit you.

The head of

the entertainment committee

is throwing a huge party

here tonight,

and it has to go perfectly,

or it's my head.

- Wow,

none of that rhymed.

- I know!

She makes me so nervous,

I can't even rhyme around her.

Here she comes!

- Okay, relax.

Let me talk to her,

I'm a people person.

- Hello, Tori.

both: Madison?

- Oh! You two

are members now?

- Oh, no, we work here.

- I know, I just wanted

to make you say it.

- [feigned laughter]

And they did!

- You know, I could

just stand here all day

and make you say things.

But...

I'm too busy

getting ready for

my best summer ever

kick-off party.

- If you two

mess this up for me,

I'm sticking you in the

basement to do the laundry.

Yes, I'm back!

Madison!

- Go-getter!

Where's our waters?

- And my straw?

Thank you.

- Ooh!

A luxury cabana!

[gasps]

Let's sneak in and see

what our lives would be like

if we didn't have four kids.

- Ooh, Momma never

lost her wild side.

- [laughs]

- There's a mini-fridge,

a TV, a daybed!

It's like a tent for

people who hate tents.

- Oh!

You must be the Mermans.

Oh, I thought

you called to cancel. I was just

about to open the cabana up to

somebody else.

- Well, now, we're not the--

- Oh, no, no, na! No, na!

No, no, no, no, no.

[chuckles]

No need.

We are the Mermans.

That is totally us.

- [nervous chuckles]

- Excellent!

I'll go get

your sushi platter.

- Mrs. Merman...

[growls]

- Well, thank you,

Mr. Merman.

[both chuckling]

- Momma's

a wild one, today.

- Yeah...

and Daddy's

drinking plant water.

- Here you go, one B.H.C.C.

B.L.T., extra B, easy T.

- This next jam goes out

to the pretty blonde girl.

- Doh!

- She knows who she is.

- Did you hear that?

I think

I'm the pretty blonde girl.

- You're definitely not

the graceful blonde girl.

- So, Trey, how does

the food ordering work here?

- You just tell them what you

want and when they bring it,

you sign for it.

Ooh! There's Mindy Gelzer.

It'd be a shame

if she got sunburned.

Looks like she needs

some SPF flirty.

[laughter]

- This menu

has so many choices.

- Ooh, the grass-fed

Kobe burger looks good.

- Hey, look!

They have fresh lobster!

- Nice!

I bet the lobster's

grass-fed, too.

- I'm getting both.

I mean, all you have to do

is sign for it.

- Miles,

what are you getting?

- I'm nauseous,

I got seasick

in the wave pool.

FYI: Do not go

in the wave pool.

- Well,

let's get to signing.

- Do you like clapping at me?

- It was fun.

- Yeah, well,

it wouldn't be

with broken hands!

So what do you want?

Soup of the day is

Chunky Clam.

- Oh,

please don't say chunky.

- We'll make this

easy for you.

We'll take one of everything.

- Fine.

- Oh, just make sure there's

plenty of drawn butter

for the lobster, and

the burger is medium-rare,

but leans

more rare than medium.

[laughter]

- And on the onion rings...

Hold the onions, just rings.

- And ranch on the side,

but only if

it's buttermilk ranch.

If not, blue cheese,

but not if it has herbs.

If it does, I'd rather have

non-buttermilk ranch.

- Oh, but if we go that way,

I want the onions

back in the rings.

- Are you guys

messing with me?

- No.

This is just how

the no-getter / go-getter

relationship works.

- And, uh, my water's

not bubbly enough.

- Uh, I'm gonna need

a new straw...

Thanks!

The service here

is pretty good.

♪ ♪

- Well, boys...

we've eaten

every item on the menu.

- What now?

- Should we hit

the wave pool?

- [groans]

- How about we just lie here

and get our tan on?

- Who wants some sunscreen?

Whoa!

- At least the ground

won't get burned.

- I'm really nailing this.

Whoa!

- [gasps]

It's raining shrimp!

- Hallelujah!

- It's raining shrimp!

- Who spilled

all the sunscreen?

boys: Uh...

- Why are you lying

in sunscreen?

- Uh...

- Getting a tan isn't

a part of the plan.

Dawn, I'm trying to be nice,

but you're on thin ice.

I am so in the zone!

- Please, please,

please don't send me

to the laundry room.

- Tori!

My assistant just quit,

and I'm about to throw a fit!

So find me someone new,

or you are through.

Oh, and FYI,

rhyming is my thing now.

- Yes!

Of course, I'll find you

a new assistant!

We've got a lot of

great people to choose from.

- Please, please, please

send me to the laundry room.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Look at the go-getter now.

- Huh!

Stuck working

for Madison.

- That's not even real pizza.

- Could this summer

get any better?

- Could my summer

get any worse?

- You know there's a big hole

on this end, right?

- Ugh!

This is so unfair!

I'm stuck here blowing up

a pizza raft for Madison

while my brothers

get to relax in the sun.

- Look at the bright side.

When we get off, we get

to play beach volleyball,

get mani-pedis--

- Get in the wave pool?

- Uh, maybe not that.

Apparently,

there was an incident.

Just don't let

Madison get you down.

- You know what?

You're right.

I can do this.

Madison is not the boss of me.

- That's the spirit!

Speaking of Madison,

she wanted me to tell you

she's the boss of you.

And you need to take these

to Cabana Seven,

and tell them the pre-party

entertainment starts in 15.

- But you just passed

Cabana Seven. Why didn't you

drop them off?

- I wanted to...

b-u-u-u-u-u-t,

Madison said you had to do it.

Oh, she also made me

say it that way.

She also said that if I didn't

say it that way, she'd fire me.

She also said that if

you screw up, she'd fire me, but

she's gonna make you do it,

then she's gonna fire you.

- You know what, just give me

the bags!

Hey, at least I don't have to

watch my family sleep-gnaw

shrimp.

[gnawing]

[laughter]

- Knock, knock! Just dropping

off a package for-- You!

[both mumbling]

We're the Mermans!

- What the heck

are you guys doing here?

- We were leaving,

but then there was a mix-up,

and then there was sushi,

and please don't tell on us!

- But you guys

are gonna get me fired!

- No, no, no, relax.

No one's gonna find out

we're not really the Mermans.

- Fine.

You want to be the Mermans?

Then be the Mermans.

Put these on!

The show starts in

ten minutes!

- Ooh, a show.

[laughter]

- Uh, Tom...

I think we are the show.

The Mermans are mermaids!

[laughter]

- Dawn, you don't really

expect us to dress up

in these ridiculous costumes

and put on some dumb show?

- No...

I expect you to dress up

in these ridiculous costumes and

put on an amazing show!

No sushi for you!

- Oh!

- Momma just had to be

wild, didn't she?

♪ ♪

- I like how the lantern

looks there...

- Oh, me too!

I couldn't think of

a better place to put it.

- But...

maybe it'll look better

down here on the table.

- And you just did!

[laughter]

- Go away.

- Already gone.

- Hm.

What do you think, Dawn?

- I think

it looks better down here.

- Perfect!

Then hang it back up there!

[laughter]

- Why did you even ask

for my opinion?

- So I know what not to do.

I'll go grab

the rest of them.

- Oh, no!

- Whoa!

- Oh.

Nice catch.

- Thanks.

- But I guess

you're used to

things droppin'

since you're always

droppin' a beat.

- [chuckles]

- [nervous laughter]

I'm gonna pretend

I didn't say that.

- I'm Dylan.

- I'm Dawn.

So was the song you played

earlier for me?

- Well...

it was for

a pretty blonde girl.

Here.

- Thank you.

Maybe my summer's

starting to look up.

- Dawn, help us!

- What happened to you guys?

- We fell asleep in the sun.

- You know, maybe

you should just go home.

- And say good-bye

to our best summer ever?

No way!

[boys groaning]

- Roasted fools.

- Ah.

- Boys!

- [shrieks]

- Wah!

- It's time

to close out your bill.

- [whimpers]

- I got this.

Where do we sign?

- Signing time is over.

Now, it's paying time.

- Well, how much do we owe?

- Let's see...

Miles had nothing.

I had an iced tea,

that's a buck fifty.

And you guys had one of

everything, so that's $320.

- We don't have any money!

- We're children!

- Trey, you never said,

"Pay later."

- You guys never said

you didn't have any money.

- Who doesn't have any money?

- Them.

- You know what?

We'll call our parents,

and I'm sure they'll be happy

to pay for this bill.

[groans]

- Are you sure you're not

wearing my wig, Tom?

- Nope.

This one feels right.

[phone ringing]

Uh-oh!

[phone rings]

Where's my phone?

[phone rings]

- [gasps]

Oh! It's in your tail!

[phone rings]

- What? Where?

Oh!

[groans]

[phone rings]

I can't get it.

My mer-skin is too tight.

[phone rings]

Oh, well.

I'm sure it wasn't important.

It's show time, Mrs. Merman!

- Okay, let's hurry and get

our tails out there!

Go fast!

- Something's fishy.

They're not answering.

- I'm sorry, guys.

It looks like we're not

gonna be able to pay our part of

the bill.

- Guys, I think I know

how to handle this.

Run!

- Ow!

- Oh, my God!

- It hurts!

- Ow!

- [whimpering]

- Ow!

- [shrills]

- Don't worry...

I have an idea of how

we can work this all out.

- [exhales]

- It's not working!

- Just keep your finger

on the hole!

- You know,

this really isn't so bad.

- Madison wants you

to scoop out

whatever's been floating

in the wave pool.

- Now, it's bad.

- Best summer ever.

- It's not working!

- Just keep your finger

on the hole!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Welcome to Madison's

Best Summer Ever Kick-Off Party!

- Welcome to Madison's

Best Summer Ever Kick-Off Party!

- Maybe if we hand out

all these leis,

Madison will let us

get out of here.

- Yeah!

- Welcome to Madison's

Best Summer Ever Kick-Off Party!

Let's get out of here!

- Good news!

I found more leis.

- Ahh.

[laughter]

- Hey, Dawn!

- Ooh, can we get

some of those?

- Mae, why aren't you

in your uniform?

- Uh,

the snack shack's closed,

and Trey said Miles could

bring me to the party.

But we promise we'll try to act

like we're having a bad time

whenever you look over.

- Oh, we've been practicing.

Watch.

- It's okay.

Just because it's not

my best summer ever,

doesn't mean

it can't be yours.

- So how about those leis?

- Right.

- Could you put them on us?

- Okay.

- And could you say

the welcome thing again?

- Or we could just come in!

- Hey!

- Oh, hey!

- So I was wondering

if maybe you wanted to hang

after the party?

- Yeah!

- Sounds good!

- I'm down!

- Not. You.

boys: Ah!

- That'd be great.

boys: Ooh!

boys: Ahh!

- Sunburn! Sunburn!

- So, um...

can I get your phone number?

boys: Ooh!

Do you mind

typing in your number?

I don't use

my D-D-DJ hands.

- He has a special DJ hand?

- That's cool!

- I wish I had a special hand

for something.

[gasps]

From now on,

this is my pudding hand!

Nope.

It's my mayonnaise hand.

- Later when I dedicate

a song to a special someone,

you'll know who

I'm talking about.

boys: Ooh!

boys: Ow!

- Assistant!

We have an emergency!

I need someone to replace

the boring rubber bands

on the lobster claws

with these official

Best Summer Ever

Kick-Off Party rubber bands.

- They'll do it!

boys: She'll do it!

- All four of you

are gonna do it.

Now, go do it!

Wow,

this rhyming thing is fun.

- Technically, since you rhymed

"do it" with "do it,"

it wasn't actually a--

never mind, carry on,

your rhyme-ness.

- ♪ To answer the question

we get asked most often ♪

- ♪ Our top half is human ♪

- ♪ Our bottom half is dolphin ♪

both:

♪ Getting fishy with it ♪

♪ La, la, la-la ♪

♪ Getting fishy with it ♪

♪ La, la, la-la ♪

♪ Getting fishy with it ♪

♪ La, la, la-la ♪

♪ Getting fishy with it ♪

- So embarrassing.

- Says the guy who just ate

a handful of mayonnaise.

- Okay, got all the old

rubber bands off.

Now we just need to get

the new ones on.

- Oh, ooh!

Wait,

why didn't we think

to put

the new rubbers bands on

before taking

the old rubber bands off?

- [whispers]

Because we're children.

- You know what?

It seems like

you have this under control.

- Yeah...

- Fine.

Do you have brothers?

- Guys, check it out.

- Do we tell her?

- We have to.

- Dawn!

You need to see this.

- Not now!

- No! Now!

- [sighs]

What?

Wait, what's going on?

- They're holding hands.

- Yeah, I can see

what's going on,

but I want to know

what's going on.

- So are we still gonna

hang after the party?

- I don't know if I can.

But...

when I dedicate a song

to a special someone,

you'll know who

I'm talking about.

[both giggle]

- That's what he said to me.

- We're sorry, Dawn.

- We've been total jerks

to you today.

And now you've gotta go through

a horrible heartbreak.

- Yeah! That jerk doesn't

get to ruin your summer.

We're the jerks who get

to ruin your summer.

- Look, I agree

you've been jerks.

Big jerks.

Huge jerks.

But don't worry, jerks,

I'm not heartbroken.

- What?

- You're not?

- Why not?

- Look, I mean,

he's cute and all,

but I just met him today.

And that whole D-D-DJ hand

thing is kinda lame.

- But a mayonnaise hand

is cool, right?

both: No!

- Anyway,

he's not playing me.

He's playing her.

You know what?

Even though Madison's

been nasty to me,

I understand the idea of

wanting the best summer ever.

She shouldn't

have her chance of that

being ruined by a lying jerk.

Look, Madison,

I know I may be

risking my job here...

b-u-u-u-u-u-t...

I need to tell you something.

- Okay, buts are my thing.

[clears throat]

B-u-u-u-u-u-t... go on.

- Okay.

- Hey, Dawn,

I got your text.

What'd you wanna

talk to me about?

- Oh, I just wanted to make sure

we're still hanging out later.

- You know it.

- So is that why you can't

hang out with me later?

- Madison?

- You've been playing me.

- No, I haven't, I--

- Oh, yes, you have, and the

player's about to get played.

- Not so fast, D-D-DJ!

- Uh, who--

who are you?

- Girlfriend backup.

So back up.

- Girls, girls...

Look, you can't blame me. I'm

just trying to have the best

summer eve--

- Oh!

- Ooh!

Whaaa!

- Didn't expect that!

- Ow! Owww!

My D-D-DJ hand!

[whimpering]

- Check it out, everybody.

The DJ invented a new dance.

- Come on!

Let's have some fun!

- Hey!

Thanks for looking out for me.

Why'd you do that?

- Oh, well, just seemed like

the right thing to do.

- Well, thanks.

But...

this doesn't make us friends.

- Oh, no.

Definitely not.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

Last words are my thing.

- [mockingly] Good.

- Heard that.

- Oh!

- Don't worry,

I won't tell anybody.

Come on, let's go

do the lobster!

[playing The B52's

"Rock Lobster" instrumental]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪