Original subtitles

- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la,

la, la, la, la, la ♪

- Hey, Dad?

Remember how mad you were

when the dog groomers next door

dumped all their old dog hair

in our dumpster?

- Those hair-dumping

Montagellis.

- And remember how

when they went on vacation

we got revenge by shoving

tuna salad in their mail slot?

- Those tuna-salad-stinking

Montagellis.

- And remember how you said

you'd flip out

if the Montagellis

ever came in here again?

[eerie suspenseful music]

- Those come-in-here-again

Montagellis!

Ah!

- He did say he'd flip out.

- He's a man of his word.

- Anne!

The Montagellis are here!

- I knew it was Monta-smelly

in here.

- What're you doing here,

Monta-smellies?

- Yeah, you know the rules.

We're banned from the groomers,

and you're banned

from Get Sporty.

- Look, we're only here

because my dad wanted

to make sure

you guys got a package

the mailman accidentally left

with us.

- Oh, well, thank you.

[glass shatters]

Ah!

- Mom, didn't the mailman

leave a package here

for the Montagellis?

- Yes, he did.

Thank you for reminding me.

[glass shatters]

- Ah!

- We loathe you, Harpers!

- We loathe you, Montagellis!

- Maybe you guys should loathe

the mailman.

He's clearly not very good

at his job.

- Beat it, Monta-smellies.

- Don't worry.

No Montagelli would ever be

anywhere near a Har-pooper.

So when do you think we can tell

our families about each other?

- Oh, you know, never.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na,

na, na, na, na, na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- Hey, do you guys wanna go

door-to-door asking for money?

- I'm in.

- Yep.

I like money.

- You don't get to keep it.

- I'm out.

- Nope.

- Always a catch.

- Come on.

Our Nature Club is raising money

for Charity.

She's an injured,

flightless goose

living in the alley

behind Get Sporty.

- So your charity is

for Charity?

- A little on the nose,

don't you think?

- The money we raise

will help ship the goose

back to her gaggle in Canada.

- Yeah, how have you guys

not heard about this?

It's a huge story

all over the Internet.

- Um, maybe because we don't

care about some dumb bird.

- Get that bird!

[doorbell rings]

[electronic game sounds]

all: Hey!

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

[together] Hello.

- These are my friends

from Nature Club.

Faith, Hope, and Susan.

- So you guys are gonna help us

raise money for Charity?

- That poor, flightless bird

living in the alley

behind Get Sporty?

- Of course we're going

to help you.

- Yeah, it's a huge story.

It's all over the Internet.

- Come on, girls.

Help me set up

these collection boxes.

- You guys don't care

about Charity.

- [gasps]

- How dare you, Dawn.

We love that duck.

- Duck?

- Goose.

- both: Right.

- You just wanna impress

those girls.

- "Impress" those girls?

Please.

I know how we can impress

those girls.

You know, instead of begging

for money door-to-door,

why don't we do

something classier?

Like begging for money online.

- Ah, good one.

- I guess there are

some websites

where you could post videos

to raise money for a charity.

- Oh, we could make a funny

comedy video with the goose

to ask for money.

- That could work.

- Totally could.

- Oh please.

There's nothing worse than guys

trying to be funny online.

- Yeah.

- Of course.

- Yeah, bad idea, Dawn.

- Why don't we do a benefit

at the cafe?

We could get a bunch

of performers to do a show

and we'd charge admission.

- Yeah, but we'd just need

to find performers.

- We could perform.

Right, boys?

- Yeah.

- That could be great.

- I'm willing to try it.

- Oh, please.

There's nothing worse than guys

trying to sing when they can't.

both: Yep.

- Another stinker, Dawn.

- But the benefit show is

a good idea.

- Excellent.

So why don't we get away

from Dawn

and her terrible ideas

and discuss this

over some delicious cookies?

- Yeah, I have some ginger snaps

cooling on the counter.

[cell phone dings]

- [giggles]

- Dawn, are you texting

with a boy?

- No.

[cell phone dings]

[giggles]

- I know that giggle.

You are totally texting

with a boy.

- No, I'm not.

[cell phone dings]

- Fine.

Then look at that next text

without smiling or giggling.

- Piece of cake.

[giggles]

Dang it.

- Okay, Dawn, spill it.

- Fine, but you can't

tell anybody, okay?

So a few weeks ago, I was taking

the trash out to the dumpster,

and saying hi to Charity.

[goose honks]

When I heard...

[acoustic guitar music playing]

- ♪ Everybody gets by sometimes

you know ♪

♪ ♪

♪ What else can we do

when we're feelin' low ♪

- Why is such a great musician

playing out here in the alley?

- I like the acoustics.

Why is such a cute girl

taking out the trash?

- I like the scenery.

- It's even better

from where I'm standing.

- And we've been hanging out

ever since.

- Ooh, a secret romance

with an older boy,

and between

feuding families too.

- I know but that's why

we haven't told anybody

about us yet.

- You guys are like

Romeo and Juliet.

Joey-o and Dawn-iet.

Dawn-eo and Joey-et.

[laughs]

JoJo and Big D.

I'll work on it.

[rock music]

- Thanks again for letting us

hold the auditions in the cafe.

- Oh, honey, we're happy

to let you use the cafe

for such a good cause.

- Absolutely.

We're all about charity.

[chuckles]

Try to get people to eat.

Push the egg salad.

It's just on the verge.

- Uh, before we get started,

can I interest anyone

in an egg salad sandwich?

- Ooh, I'm interested.

- Oh, uh...

Dad said it's on the verge.

- Ah, usually

I have it on wheat,

but let's mix it up.

- Uh, one egg salad sandwich.

- Ooh, on verge.

- First up is Natlee

and Old-Schooley Dooley.

- Today, I'm gonna be

poppin' and lockin' for ya.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, yeah.

[funky electronic music playing

on radio]

- Here we go.

- Come on.

- I like where this is going.

- I have a good feeling

about this.

- They're wasting our lives

right now.

- Aww, yeah.

- Aww--no.

- Yeah, they really

stunk up the joint.

- Yeah, it's all roses

from here on out.

- Definitely.

- Ah, this smells worse

than Dooley.

- Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

[falsetto]

Who's there?

- Not you.

[dramatic Latin music]

♪ ♪

both: Olé!

- Oh, my.

- Oh, boys.

- Oh, no.

- How are we ever gonna find

a performer

that will raise enough money

to impress the girls?

- Oh, and help Charity.

- Oh, come on.

We all know you're only doing it

for the girls.

[all gasp]

- Please.

You lie worse

than Dooley break dances.

- Hey, can you take the trash

out to the dumpster?

I think I pulled a glute doing

all those puntas y plantas.

- Fine.

- Sure.

- Ugh, my stomach hurts.

- Look, I know

you don't want anyone

to know about you and Joey,

but maybe we should ask him

to sing at the benefit.

You said he was really good.

- It's too risky for us

to be together in public.

- Just act like

you don't like each other.

- [scoffs]

Yeah, right.

Whenever Joey and I

are together,

we can't help but make

goo-goo eyes at each other.

- Well, you better find a way

for that goo-goo to go-go

'cause Jo-Jo just walked

in the do-do.

- We found our star act

for the benefit!

- Yeah, he was singing

in the alley to some bird.

- He's a filthy Montagelli,

but...

he's got the voice of an angel.

- This is not good.

- No, this is terrible.

But kind of wonderful.

But terrible.

But...

kinda wonderful.

Terrible.

But wonderful.

- Thank you.

It's terrible.

♪♪

[rock music]

- What are you guys doing?

Joey is not allowed--

I mean, this stinky,

low-rent pet barber

isn't allowed in here.

- We're overlooking

his obvious flaws

and vile family

because he's a great singer.

- Yeah, we'll definitely

raise enough money

to impress those girls.

And help that duck.

- Duck?

- Goose.

both: Right.

- It's all about the goose,

isn't it, Joey?

- Yeah.

Sometimes I think could get lost

in the goose's eyes forever.

- It's a goose, dude.

Take it down a notch.

- [giggles]

- I think you're the goose.

- I know.

Thanks.

Look, I don't care

how you feel about that goose--

who feels the same way

about you,

but this is a terrible idea.

- [gasps]

Montagelli.

- Dad, the boys want

this Montagelli

to play the benefit.

- No.

A Montagelli has no business

being in our store.

- Ugh, come on.

Joey's voice is so good,

it'll raise tons of money

for Charity.

- Yeah, you just need

to hear him play.

- ♪ And if you feel

you're sinking ♪

♪ I will jump right over ♪

♪ Into cold,

cold water for you ♪

♪ And although time... ♪

- I can't believe

that beautiful voice

is coming out of a Montagelli.

- So he can play at the benefit?

- ♪ You ♪

- Yes.

- Yes!

- Ah.

- He's a revelation.

[playing "Cold Water"]

- ♪ I'll be your lifeline... ♪

- Why does the guy

who likes me so much

have to be so good-looking

and talented?

- Yeah, it's a real tragedy.

- This guy's good.

- Very good.

- There's nothing better than

a boy with a beautiful voice.

- Maybe too good.

- We don't stand a chance

with the girls

if we don't get 'em away from

that golden-throated songbird.

- But that

golden-throated songbird

is our only way to have a chance

with the girls.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'll be your lifeline

tonight ♪

♪ I won't let go ♪

[applause]

Thank you, guys,

for letting me play the benefit.

I probably should go

before my parents notice.

- Bye, Joey.

[together] Bye, Joey.

- We've made

a terrible miscalculation.

- Maybe we should

forget about the girls

and do this for Charity.

[all laugh]

- Joey's gotta go.

♪♪

- Oh, good, you got my text.

Look, I just wanted to talk

to you about what's goin--

- Joey, I get it.

I know how you feel

about the goose,

but you playing in the store's

too risky.

We could get caught.

But what do you think?

- Well, I mean--

- I hear you.

This way we could

spend more time together,

which would be nice, I know.

But is it to dangerous?

- I think that--

- You're right.

It's gonna be too hard

to act like

there's nothing going on.

Look, especially when you keep

giving me those goo-goo eyes.

But I love the goo-goo eyes.

Don't stop giving me

the goo-goo eyes.

Ugh, enough

with the goo-goo eyes.

Maybe we should just

let everyone know

that we like each other?

Do you think that

would change their minds?

- I mean, it couldn't--

- I know.

It'll be impossible

because the Harpers

and Montagellis

will never understand.

You're right.

- Look, Dawn--

- Then it's agreed.

- We'll do the event

and we'll keep us a secret.

Yes?

Okay.

Thank you so much

for helping me figure this out.

You always know exactly

what to say.

- [sighs]

You know what, Charity?

I really like--

[goose honks]

You too?

Ow.

- That Joey's so cute.

- I wish I were a goose

without a gaggle.

- It's still warm.

- You'd think a guy that

good-looking and that talented

would already have a girl

and wouldn't have to steal ours.

- Yeah, how is a hunk like that

not taken?

- Taken.

That's it.

Boy, that Joey.

What a dreamboat.

Too bad he's taken.

- What?

- No.

- Who is she?

- Uh, who is she?

She's, uh...

Dawn.

- What?

- I had no idea.

- Lucky.

- Sorry, ladies.

His FaceShack status says

his shack door's closed.

- The seat is cold.

- Nice lie, Dicky.

- Yeah, that solved everything.

- And best of all,

caused absolutely no problems.

- [laughs]

- Dawn, we have a problem.

- What's wrong?

- Faith, Hope, and Susan

were just in my store

talking about

how bummed they are that

you and I are hanging out.

I thought we agreed that

we weren't gonna tell anyone.

- We did.

- Well, I didn't tell anybody.

Did you?

- Of course not.

I would never tell--

oh, no.

- What?

- How could you do this to us?

My mom and dad overheard

and grounded me,

and now I can't leave the store.

I mean, I hate to say it,

but I guess this is good-bye,

Dawn.

- Wait, Joey, no, I--

[dial tone hums]

Mae, what did you do?

- You said I could have pie.

- No, with Joey.

You told Faith, Hope, and Susan

about us.

- I did not.

- Well, then if you didn't,

who did?

- I don't know.

why don't you just

ask the girls?

- You jerks.

- Duck.

- Duck.

- Goose.

[grunts]

Oh, I get it.

Duck.

[rock music]

- Look, I don't know how

you blabber mouths found out,

but because of your loose lips,

Joey just broke up with me.

- Dawn, Dawn, Dawn.

Joey's not your boyfriend.

That was a lie we made up

to keep the girls

from falling for him.

- Yeah, if you haven't noticed,

he's quite the catch.

- I know!

He was my catch!

I caught him!

We were just keeping it a secret

so our feuding families

wouldn't break us up.

[together] Oh.

- How could you lie

about me like that?

- Well, in our defense,

it turned out to be true.

So, technically, not a lie.

- Hey, at least you'll see him

at the benefit.

- He's not doing the benefit.

He's grounded.

- Great.

Now this is affecting us.

- Mae, get more pie.

- [muffled]

I ate it all.

- Let us fix this.

We'll explain to Joey

what happened

and I'm sure he'll forgive you.

- No.

No fixing, no nothing.

Stay. Outta. My. Business!

- Hey.

Why'd I get poked twice?

- Yeah, thanks a lot, Nicky.

- Hey.

[both grumbling]

- Stop it.

Look, I know Dawn just said

to stay out of her business,

but we've got to speak to Joey

and fix things.

Otherwise we've got no show.

- Yeah, and no girls.

- The Montagellis banned us.

How are we gonna get

into the groomers?

- [stomach rumbling]

- Hey, I told you not to eat

the egg salad.

- Yeah, the egg salad was fine.

It was the verge.

- Hey!

- Don't poke him.

He could explode.

♪ ♪

[door chimes]

- [grunts]

Steady down there.

- You guys are heavy.

- Well,

it's not picnic being the meat

in this dumdum sandwich, either.

- Shh.

- Is everything okay?

- [imitating adult voice]

Yes, everything's good for me.

Gerald T. Honeycutt.

[chuckles awkwardly]

"T" stands for "Tall."

Ah, there's my destination,

the grooming counter.

Just four steps forward.

[shakily]

Two, three...

and four.

Okay, maybe two big steps

to my right.

Yep.

Nope.

[grunts]

Okay, maybe one not so big step

to my left.

Okay, one tiny step forward.

Tinier!

Hello, young man.

Would you groom my cat,

Scrunchie?

Psst, psst.

[whispering forcefully]

This isn't really a cat,

and I'm not really a man.

It's Nicky.

- And Ricky.

- And Dicky.

- Yeah, no kidding.

- We're here to apologize.

We're the ones

who accidentally spilled beans

about you and Dawn.

- It was you?

It wasn't Dawn's fault?

- Nope.

So you'll perform

at the benefit, right?

- I can't.

I'm grounded.

[door chimes]

- [giggles]

- Someone's coming.

- [falsetto]

Excuse me.

[imitating southern accent]

My name's Penelope V. Tall.

[giggling]

The "V" stands for "Very."

I was just wondering

if I could get some French tips

for my kitty's toenails.

She's real fancy.

- Oh, no, Dawn's here.

- Dawn's here?

- [normal voice]

What are you guys doing here?

- The boys are here?

- Where?

- They told me what happened.

I'm sorry I accused you, Dawn.

- That's okay.

I forgive you.

but I don't forgive you.

I told you to stay out

of my business.

- Hey!

No one pokes

Gerald T. Honeycutt.

- Ow.

Stop it.

- Hey, no fighting in our store.

- Ah!

- Harpers?

What're you doing here?

- Look, they were

explaining themselves.

Can we just calm down and forget

about his stupid feud?

- No way.

The Harpers are bad people.

Now take your long coats

and get out.

- Come on, Dawn.

- No.

Just like always,

you meddled,

you didn't respect me,

and you ruined everything.

- Dawn, we're sorry,

but you ca--

- No, I'm not going.

I'd rather be a Montagelli

than a Harper.

[both gasp]

- Let's go.

♪ ♪

- So what're you gonna tell

your parents?

- Can we just forget

about my family for a moment?

- That's gonna be

kind of difficult.

- Why?

- Because they're right there.

- Wait.

What are you guys doing?

- Just listen.

Hit it, Dooley.

[off-key] ♪ There's a goose

out here alone ♪

♪ And they miss her a lot

back home ♪

♪ They're gaggle doesn't fly

the same without her ♪

- [off-key] ♪ And we know

how much that hurts ♪

♪ Our sister left

'cause we're the worst ♪

♪ And that's why we wrote

this awesome song

♪ About her... ♪

- Yeah, I wouldn't

call it "awesome."

- [off-key]

♪ Help this bird go home ♪

[piano music]

♪ Donate money with your phone ♪

♪ And maybe Dawn

will forgive us ♪

♪ And understand that we didn't

mean to hurt her feelings ♪

♪ And we like her-- ♪

- Hey, guys, guys, guys!

Stop.

That was really...

terrible.

- But we're still

posting it online

so everybody can see

how terrible

and embarrassing we are.

- Including Faith, Hope,

and Susan.

- You'd do all that for Charity,

huh?

- No.

We'd do it for our sister.

- Can you forgive us

and come back home?

- I mean, they were willing

to embarrass themselves

pretty hardcore

to make it up to you.

- Yeah.

This is terrible.

- Maybe it's not so bad

to be a Harper after all.

- Dawn?

Why are you holding hands

with a-a Montagelli?

- Maybe because she wised up

and doesn't wanna be

a stinking Harper anymore.

[all talking at once]

- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

No more feuding.

Dawn and Joey like each other,

okay?

- Wh--Dawn, is that true?

- That should be more important

than any childish feud.

- Yeah, you're all adults,

and you should start

acting like it.

- Yeah, well, he started it.

- Okay, Tom.

The boys are right.

For the kids' sake,

we need to call a truce.

Agreed?

- Agreed.

- Okay.

- Tom?

- [exhales]

Fine.

For the kids.

- Yes.

Thank you, Mom and Dad.

- So, would you guys like

to come in for some egg salad?

- Okay, Tom, no.

[goose honking]

- Huh, she could fly.

- I guess she didn't wanna hear

Dicky sing again.

- I'm gonna miss

that crazy duck.

- Duck?

[bird screeches]

all: Eagle!

[rock music]

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪