Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

- Lean left!

Now right!

And...finish line!

[engine powers down]

[beep beep]

- Good fake run.

That was record fake time.

- Yeah! Fake awesome!

- Fake awesome!

- Okay, one of you

needs a real mint.

Okay, who had

a breakfast tuna melt?

boys: That was me.

- Well, the bigger problem

is our lefts still need work.

In order to maximize speed,

we need to be totally in sync.

- True.

- You know if one of you

is out of sync,

I could always jump in.

People do consider me

to be the fifth quad.

- Who does?

- Me.

- Look, it's good to know

you have our back, Mae,

but this year,

we are a well-oiled machine.

Nothing is gonna

stop us from winning.

- How can you be so sure?

- Because no one else

signed up.

- [scoffs] Didn't stop you from

losing the last three years.

Just sayin'!

- Well, this year, we're not

going to get disqualified

halfway through the race

because Dicky had to

take off his helmet.

- I was just giving

the fans what they wanted.

At least I didn't keep

pulling the brake like Nicky did

two years ago.

- I saw a squirrel,

and I brake for small animals.

- It was an earmuff.

- Well, it lived.

At least I didn't miscalculate

our entry velocity

on the omega loop

like you did three years ago.

- I was nine!

- Okay, that is enough!

None of you are

screwing up this year.

- Oh, yeah, it's your turn.

- It is no one's turn!

We're going for the gold,

and nothing is going to stop us.

[running footsteps]

- Except for them.

all: Hello, Harpers.

all: Hello, Kramdens!

[all slurping]

- So...you tried to steal

our tire commercial,

and now you're gonna try

to steal our race?

- Well, hold on, now.

We don't know

that they're entering

the Moose Mountain Under 13

Four-Man Bobsled Race.

- Oh. We're entering

the Mouse Mountain under 13

Four-Man Bobsled Race.

- Could be a different

Moose Mountain Under 13

Four-Man Bobsled Race.

- It's not.

- We just came by

to say...

all: Get ready to lose.

- Puh-lease!

We could beat you

in our sleep.

- You mean

in your dreams.

all: Ha ha ha ha!

Let's roll.

[Kramdens laughing]

- Even their snappy comebacks

and mocking laughter

are in sync.

- There is no way we can let

those Kramdens win this year.

- Looks like you kids

are gonna have some competition.

I just saw the Kramdens

dressed for the bobsled race.

- Could be a different

bobsled race.

- Well, I know you kids

are gonna win.

Just make sure

you keep your helmets on,

watch that entry velocity,

don't brake for earmuffs

and...

whatever it is

you might do.

- Okay...

racing isn't about

winning or losing

or who comes in first

or last.

- That is literally

the definition of a race.

- All I'm saying

is it's about having fun.

No pressure, no stress.

Just get a good night's sleep,

get out there,

and enjoy yourselves.

- Well...that took

a lot of the pressure off.

- Totally. Dad's usually

all about winning.

- Yeah. Let's just go

out there and have some fun.

- This isn't about fun!

[whack]

- Oh!

- Ah!

- This is about winning.

This is about our hard work,

and this is about

beating those Kramdens.

[whack]

- Oh!

- Who's arguing?!

- And it's about

getting a good night's sleep

so we can wake up

well-rested at 3:45 a.m.

- 3:45?

[whack]

- I know it seems early,

but it is a long drive

up that mountain.

[boys moan]

- Well, if one of you

is too sleepy

and you need a backup,

the fifth quad

is always ready.

- It's not that easy,

Mae.

You need a uniform

and a helm--

[Velcro rips]

- Like I said,

fifth quad is always ready.

[upbeat music]

- [whistling]

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- ♪ La la la la la

la la la-la ♪

- Gentlemen,

we have seen the enemy,

and they are adorable.

But despite the fact

that you just wanna

[silly voice]

pinch their cute little cheeks,

we must keep our resolve.

Tonight,

we sleep as contenders.

Tomorrow...as champions.

- If we don't mess up again.

- I was getting to that.

- And if we get

a good night's rest.

- Just once,

I would like to make

a bedtime rallying speech

without being corrected!

Look, if we fall asleep

right now,

we will get...7 hours and

45 minutes of solid shuteye,

which will lead us

to victory.

Good night, boys.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- What are you doing?

- I'm just double-checking

my alarm to make sure it's set.

I have to hear

the click-click to be sure.

[click, click]

Sure.

Not sure.

[click, click]

I'm sure.

Not sure--

- Nicky!

- I'm sorry.

It--I'm sure.

- Okay.

- Dawn, are you going

to leave that there?

- No. It helps me

fall asleep.

I'll put it down

once I finish my stretching.

- No, not that.

That.

You know I like things

how I like things,

and this thing...

I don't like it.

- Oh. Sorry.

I forgot you like a neat bed.

Here.

There. Good night!

Mae, why aren't you

getting in the bed?

- Because my mind

won't let my body move.

- [sighs]

Fine.

- I'll get the drawer for you.

- I don't know, it's kinda--

- Aah!

- Thank you!

Perfect.

We have a race

to sleep for.

- Oh...okay.

- Why is it so hard

to fall asleep

when that's what

you're trying to do?

- [sighs]

Well, for starters,

you turned the light on!

- I was just making sure

you could hear me.

- Hey, Chatman and Robin,

if we wanna beat the Kramdens,

we need to be well-rested.

- You're the one

saying the most words,

so you're the Chatman.

- Or the Robin--

- Robin's losing it!

- Sleeve, sleeve,

fold, press.

Mae's the one

who folds the best.

You gotta stretch.

I gotta fold.

- Ah! Mommy likey

early bedtime.

- Well, Daddy hatey

early rise time.

So I gotta get some sleep.

There's a lotta pressure

on this race tomorrow.

- I thought you told

the kids no pressure.

- I was using reverse psychology

to keep the pressure off.

- Okay, Tom, I don't

think you understand

what reverse psychology

means.

The reverse of no pressure

is actually pressure.

- Trust me, Anne,

I think I know a thing

or two about reserve psychology.

- Anybody else stressed out

that Dad said no pressure?

- I'm freakin' out!

- You know, Anne, if I hadn't

gone into sporting goods...

[exhales]

I woulda gone into brains.

- Dad's totally in my brain!

- Let me, uh, give you

a little taste

of reverse psychology.

Take as much blanket

as you want.

[chuckles]

Now, don't give

any blanket back.

Anne?

- [snoring]

- I'm not cold.

- 6 hours, 47 minutes

if we fall asleep

right now!

- At least Dawn and Mae

are sleeping.

- Sleeve, sleeve,

fold, press.

- Dawn ain't gonna

get no rest.

- [shivering]

[whispers]

So...cold.

- Your clock is fine!

- [clicking] I just need to hear

the click-click.

- Uh, 6 hours, 46 minutes!

- This race is so much pressure!

I wonder if the Kramdens

are feeling it?

[snoring in sync]

all: I've got to get

some sleep.

[upbeat music]

- If we fall asleep

right now,

we'll get 4 hours

and 45 minutes of sleep,

which comes out to--

- 17,100 seconds.

- Yes...actually.

How did you do that?

- I don't know!

But I'm on a roll.

Ask me another question.

- What's 5 plus 5?

- 55!

- The roll is over.

- Eew! Dawn, what's that?

- My foot.

You were folding

laundry so long,

I have to do

my relaxation stretch again.

- If you're nervous...

the fifth quad is here

to fill in for you.

- I got this, Mae.

- Well, if we're gonna

get some sleep,

I'm gonna have to put

my foot down.

Put your foot down!

- This is way better

than a blanket.

Who's the reverse

psychologist now?

- [snoring]

[ziiii--]

- Stupid blanket!

Oh...she looks like

such an angel

when she's sleeping.

Whoa!

Freakishly strong angel!

Whoa!

[thud]

Uhh!

[groans]

Owwwwww!

[cranking]

- What is that?

- It's my backup clock.

- Why do you need

a backup clock?

- In case

there's a power outage.

- Well, right now,

we're having a sleep outage,

and if we don't get

some sleep,

we'll never win the race.

- Well, if we don't

wake up on time,

then we'll never make it

to the race!

So if you don't mind,

I need to wind!

[cranking]

Wind, wind, wind, wind.

Wind.

There. Done.

- Finally!

[cranking]

- Wind, wind, wind, wind.

Wind.

- I thought you said

you were done!

- This is my backup

backup clock.

- Get out!

- No, seriously.

I actually have

a backup backup clock.

- No, seriously...

Ricky: Get out!

Dicky: Get out!

- You guys asleep?

[door thuds closed]

- Don't you knock?

- Well, no,

in case you were asleep.

I need to crash here.

- Whatever.

Just be quiet about it.

- Don't worry about me.

I'm no Chatman.

- Who?

- It's a boys' room thing.

Ricky is Robin.

- What goes on in there?

- Everybody go to sleep!

- Won't hear another

peep outta me.

No more peeps.

I am done peeping.

Sorry, just one more peep.

- [groans] Ugh!

Again with that tuna melt!

- Where can I plug in

my clock?

- You don't need a clock.

I have a clock.

- Yeah, but I need

the click-click of my clock.

- What about your other

two clocks?

- They don't

click-click.

- Then what do they do?

- They ticktock.

They're ticktock clocks.

They're not click-click

clocks!

- Now you're

just sounding cuckoo!

- Oh, yeah, you're right.

I forgot my cuckoo clock.

- No more clocks!

- [moans]

- Fine! The outlet

is over there!

- [squeals]

- Ugghhh!

- Just go fold it!

- [squeaks]

- Click-click...

- Fold, fold.

- We are never going

to win the gold.

- Nicky's gone.

Finally,

some peace and quiet.

I need my brain sleep.

Entry velocity

doesn't calculate itself.

Good night.

- Good night.

Ricky?

Why do you think

they call it a bobsled?

- I have no idea.

Good night.

- Ricky?

Why don't they call it

a Jeff-sled

or a Benjamin-sled?

- I don't know!

Good night!

- Ricky?

- What's with the questions?!

- Can't sleep.

- Well, try counting sheep.

- One sheep.

Two sheep...

- To yourself.

- One sheep, Dicky.

Two sheep, Dicky.

- [muffled shouting]

I miss Nicky!

- I almost got it.

Oh, no, no.

Oh, no, no--no!

Ugh!

[thud]

Found the other one!

- [loud snoring]

Is what I would sound like

if I were really asleep.

- [whack]

- What was that?

- [calmly] Just thinking

about something.

- Are you guys asleep?

- [snores]

No. But doesn't it

sound like it?

- [whack]

- No. It sounds like

you guys are goofing off in here

and not taking this race

seriously.

We are gonna lose

to those Kramdens

and let Mom and Dad down.

- How dare you walk in here

with these accusations!

Is what I would sound like

if I were Ricky.

- Well, excuse me...

[whack]

if I care...

[whack]

about winning!

[whack]

- What does go on in here?

[alarm ringing]

- Hey, not the face!

- Who are you?

- You gettin' up

for your stupid race or not?

Well, I'm not sure

why it matters.

You're just gonna panic,

pull the brake,

and let your whole family

down again anyway.

- I am not!

- Come on!

All the clicky-clicky

and windy-windy you keep doing?

You know you're nervous.

- I am not!

- Methinks you doth

reset too much.

- I'm not listening to you.

You're just a dumb alarm clock.

- Oh. You listen to me

when I do this to wake you up...

[ringing]

But you won't listen to me

when I tell you you're scared.

- 'Cause I'm not!

- You know I'm right...

Nicky.

Nicky.

- Nicky...Nicky?

Are you okay?

- Uh...no, I--

No. I-I can't do the race,

Mae.

I'm gonna have to

ask you to--

[Velcro rips]

- Please tell me you're gonna

say, "Fill in for me."

- Yes!

- Oh, good.

'Cause I don't wanna

have to reload this thing.

- ♪ La la la la la

la la la-la ♪

- Thank you for

doing this for me, Mae.

You really are the fifth quad.

I'm proud of you

for stepping up.

- And I'm proud of you.

It takes a lot of guts

to tell Dawn and the boys

you're backing out of the race.

- [chuckles] Yeah.

It does take a lotta guts.

Which is why

I'm gonna do this instead.

Ow! Ah! Oh,

my bobsledding ankle!

I think it's broken! Ah!

- No one's buying that.

- You're right, I...

I need some ice

and an ankle wrap

to make it look better.

Thanks, Mae.

[softly]

Eee!

- [shrilly]

Eee!

- What are you doing?

- Can't sleep.

Was gonna try the couch.

- Can't sleep either.

Was going to try

the couch,

but now I'll try

the bean bag.

- Good luck to you, sir.

- And you as well, sir.

- Oh, good, you're awake.

I can't take

the pressure anymore.

I know I'm gonna screw

the calculations up again

and lose the race,

so I'm going to do this.

Ow! My bobsledding neck!

You're going to have to

take my place.

- Uh, Ricky, there might

be a problem with that.

- You're right--I'm going to

need Dad's neck brace

to really sell it.

Thanks, Mae!

- Ugh.

- What are you doing?

- Can't sleep.

- Me neither.

- Good luck to you, sir.

- Whatever, dude.

Ow!

- What's the matter?

- I haven't decided yet.

But it really hurts, and I

need you to fill in for me.

Thanks, Mae!

- Ow!

- Ow!

- Ow!

- Ow...

- Ow...

- Owie...

- Hello.

- I could say the same

to you.

- Thought you were

sleepin' on the couch.

- Fell off.

Broke my bobsledding ankle.

Thought you were, uh,

crashing on the bean bag.

- Crashed too hard.

Wrenched my bobsledding neck.

- Mae's filling in for me!

- Mae's filling in for me!

- Oh, no, I'm sleep-walking

next to this open window!

[crash]

Ah!

[spits] Puh!

My bobsledding face!

- Oh, good, you're awake.

You always have my back, right?

- Of course.

- Awesome.

Thanks, Mae.

Get some sleep.

- Ankle is much worse!

- Please!

A neck injury

is a career-ender!

- My face!

[thudding]

- Hey, fellas.

Ha.

Yeah. I don't really think

I can make the race today.

I think I might have broken

my bobsledding body.

What's up with you?

- Uh...ankle!

- Neck.

- Face!

- Ow!

all: Mae's filling in for me!

- No, I'm not.

Do any of you have

any self-respect?

- What are you implying, Mae?

- Look at yourselves...

faking injuries

to get out of the race?

What are you all afraid of?

A little competition,

losing?

- Yeah.

Both of those things.

- Nicky, Dicky, and I

have blown it once already.

- And it's my turn

to blow it this year.

Which is why

I was so freaked out.

It's just too much pressure.

- You were a well-oiled machine

until those Kramdens

entered the race

and your dad said

"no pressure."

Now the only race

you're trying to win

is to be the first

to get me to replace you.

- I believe I won that race.

- I always wanted to be

the fifth quad,

and none of you even wants

to be one through four.

- [sighs]

Mae's right.

I mean, look at us.

We were all so afraid of being

the one to let the others down

that we already did.

- Win or lose...

[Velcro rips]

we do this together.

- So no offense, Mae,

but we don't need you.

- For the record,

you needed me to point it out.

- True. Thanks, Mae.

All right. Now, let's get

that good night's sleep,

stay together

on those turns,

and beat those Kramdens!

- Yeah.

- Hands in!

Come on, fifth quad,

hand in.

- Really?

all: Really.

- Go, Harpers!

- All right,

everyone to bed.

[alarm rings, alarm buzzes,

cuckoo clock chiming]

[all moan]

- All right, everybody wake up!

- Who knows.

Maybe the Kramdens

will oversleep.

all: Let's go beat

the Harpers.

- All right, everyone,

we're leaving in ten minutes.

I'm gonna need

at least two of you to help me

wake your mother.

- [snoring]

♪ ♪

- Oh, the Kramdens' time

is gonna be tough to beat.

- But it looks like Dawn

and the boys are doing great!

- Well, it looks like

they're really staying together

on the turns.

Tom, I think the kids are...

asleep!

What?

Hey, hey--and so is Mae!

Tom!

- Sit up straight!

Show the logo!

- The Harper Quads

are nearing the finish...

and the Harpers win it

in record time!

- No one can see the logo--

And yay!

- I can't believe it.

They actually beat us

in their sleep.

- Come on, guys, get up!

This is your chance

to rub it in their

adorable little faces.

- [loud snore]

- As a fifth quad,

I just wanna say

Go, Harpers!

♪ They won, they beat ya ♪

♪ They sleeping,

but they beat ya ♪

♪ They won, they beat you ♪

♪ They sleepin',

but they beat you ♪

♪ They won, they beat you ♪

♪ They sleepin',

but they beat you, mmm ♪

♪ They won, they beat you ♪

♪ They sleepin', but they-- ♪

Beat you.

They beat you.

[upbeat music]

- [whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪