Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

- [exhales]

[inhales sharply]

[all groan]

- Come on, Ricky,

you're taking forever.

- Mini-golf is a game

of concentration and patience.

- Well, concentrate

on this patience.

Boom! I'm on a roll,

'cause my ball's in the hole.

- That was MY ball.

- Too late.

I'm already dancing.

- I feel like

trying something new.

Let's go to this hole.

- Ooh. Make a wish,

then spin around real fast.

- Sold!

Ooh, I get to go again.

That's what I wished for.

- There's no wishing

in mini-golf.

And you played these holes

out of order.

- You need to lighten up,

buddy.

So what club

should I use here, guys?

- You know,

I would go with the putter.

- You only have a putter.

It's always going

to be a putter.

- Not if you use...

a footer.

Dawn, Dicky, and Nicky: Goal!

- This is useless.

You three

aren't taking this seriously.

Even this course is a joke.

Spaceships, astronauts,

the fact that we're indoors.

We should be outdoors

with wooden windmills

and real wind.

- That is ridiculous.

The stuff Dad put in here

is awesome.

Oh. Except for that alien

with the googly eyes.

Seriously.

Googly eyes freak me out.

- Since when?

- Aww, honey,

Dawn seems a little sad.

Here, come cheer her up

with one of your funny faces.

I'm going to get you.

[baby crying]

I'm going to get you!

- I don't know.

It's just always been that way.

All I know is

those googly eyes

are just throwing me

off my game.

- Well, you know

what's throwing me off my game?

Everything about this place.

I'm surprised

there's no techno music.

- That reminds me.

Three, two, one, dance off!

[techno music playing]

♪ ♪

- There's no dancing in golf.

- [sighs] I'm sorry, Ricky,

but you're the only kid

on the planet

who would walk in here

and not say

this place is awesome.

- I would say this place

is awesome,

buuuut it's not.

- It's The But-er and

those snobby country club kids.

- Dawn.

- Madison.

- Ricky.

- Spaulding.

- Nicky.

- Lacey.

- Dicky.

- Other guy.

- Hamilton.

- Really?

All right.

Hamilton.

- What are you doing here?

- We heard your Dad opened up

a new course,

and we wanted to check it out.

- Spaceships, lasers, aliens?

It's like Cirque Du So-Lame

in here.

[laughter]

- Mini-golf should

be played outdoors

with wooden windmills

and real wind.

- I couldn't agree

with you more.

Now get out.

- Fine. Dawn.

- Madison.

- Ricky.

- Spaulding.

- Nicky.

- Lacey.

- Dicky.

- Guy whose name

I still can't remember.

- Hamilton.

- Hamilton.

Why won't that stick?

Hamilton, Hamilton, Hamilton.

Hamilton.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

- ♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na na na na na na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[upbeat music]

- Ugh, what are you

still doing here?

- We were going to leave,

buuuut...

this place is really great

for people judging.

- Oh. Don't you mean

people watching?

- No.

Nice hat.

[laughter]

- Wow. It's hard to believe

that one of us

has something

in common with them.

- Yeah, Ricky, when she told us

how much she hated

our golf course,

we thought for sure you were

going to side with them.

- [scoffs]

Please.

- Got your usual smoothies.

Strawberry, strawberry,

strawberry,

green tea with kale

and a double brain boost.

- What can I say, Dad?

Most people zig.

I like to zag.

- Hey, those kids

over there zag too.

They ordered the same thing.

[laughter]

So what'd you think

of Get Golfy?

- Well, the three of us

loved it,

but Ricky thought

it was a little...

What'd you call it, Ricky?

- An intergalactic disgrace.

- Hey, that's what

the zaggers called it.

- Hey, look.

My straw looks like a mustache.

[gasps]

Mustache straw fight.

[cup clatters]

- Oh, great!

Do you know how hard it is

to get a double brain boost

out of alpaca?

[exhales]

I mean,

will you excuse me?

- Hey, Ricky,

you know what gets brain boost

out of alpaca, right?

- What?

- Spaulding's father.

He owns a chain

of dry cleaners.

They're very good.

- Here's a coupon

for 10% more.

- Why would people

pay 10% more?

- People love coupons.

- We've been

watching you, Ricky.

You really know your way

around a mini-golf course.

How would you like

to know your way

around the mini-golf course?

- You mean--

- Yes.

The Boulderly Hills

Country Club Mini-Golf Course.

- Oh, I know the BHCCMGC.

Is it true you have grass

flown in from Japan?

- Oh, yes, and Michigan.

- We think

you're BHCCMGC material.

So why don't you join us?

Uh, I don't think I should.

I'm already part

of a foursome.

- Olé!

[crash]

- [sighs]

It's complicated.

- Is it?

You're better than them, Ricky.

Take the brochure.

It's a scratch and sniff.

- And I'll take that coupon too.

- Of course you will.

- [sniffs]

Ah, Squishy, smell

that glorious Michigan grass.

That is not a cedar drawbridge.

[sniffs]

It is a cedar drawbridge!

- Hey, Ricky?

- Nothing.

I was just reading

an interesting article

about new wind farm technology--

- Oh, speaking

of wind farm technology,

pull my finger.

[laughter]

- Please don't.

- Speaking of don't,

I did have a dream last night

where I was chased by something

called The Waffle-Nator.

[as Schwarzenegger]

Your syrup, give it to me, now!

- Stop that.

That's mine.

- Fine. But I'll be back.

- Oh, waffles. Nice.

- That's mine too.

- Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom...

- Why do you have

to chew like that?

- It means

I'm enjoying my food.

Nom-nom-nom-nom...

- Sounds good.

I want one.

Oh.

both: Nom-nom-nom...

- Ooh. That means

I'm enjoying my food.

- Well, now I'm not enjoying

my food.

- Well, then you should be

chewing like this.

[both chewing loudly]

- I want in on this.

Hold on.

all:

Nyach-nyach-nyach-nyach-nyach...

- What is wrong

with you people?

- Sometimes I have

too good of a hair day,

but besides that,

I'm pretty happy with myself.

- You three have no manners,

no sense

of the proper way to act,

and you wouldn't know

Michigan grass from your elbow.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Let's not bring Michigan

into this.

- Wow, Ricky, I didn't realize

you were the expert on manners

and the proper way to act.

- I may not be an expert,

but I was invited to play

at the BHCCMGC yesterday.

- The what?

- The Big Hairy Cow

Chocolate Milk Gulping Contest.

Keep up, people.

- No.

I was invited to the

Boulderly Hills Country Club,

and you weren't.

You know why?

Because I take things seriously,

and you

nyach-nyach-nyach-nyach-nyach.

- Oh, like you never

nyach-nyach-nyach-nyach'd.

- Yeah, I used to nyach-nyach

and nom-nom,

and even on occasion, I'd...

[blows raspberry]

But you know what?

I grew up.

And you should too.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to go play a round

of proper mini-golf

at the most exclusive club

in the city.

Good day.

I forgot my brochure.

Good day!

I promised Mom I'd walk him

before I left.

Final good day!

- Wow, can you believe

the nerve of that guy?

He really thinks

he's better than us.

- Well, he's not.

- Yeah.

- Yeah. We'll show him.

- Not now, though, right?

- No, we're going to finish

eating breakfast.

[all chewing loudly]

[upbeat music]

- Ground control,

it's Major Tom.

- Yes, Tom?

- Say it right.

- [sighs and chuckles]

Yes, Major Tom?

- We got a squeaky rocket

on hole number seven.

I'm going to give it

a little bacon grease.

- Please tell me "bacon grease"

is just an expression.

- Yes, it is, Anne.

An expression of my genius.

It fixes squeaks

and tastes great.

Mmm, liquid pig.

[chuckles]

Ground control,

we have a missing rocket.

And a missing alien arm.

Oh...

my...

gosh!

No!

- Tom, are you okay?

[sighs] Major Tom,

are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

There's just a lot

of missing stuff up here.

And I have a pretty good idea

who's to blame.

Alien ghosts.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat whistling]

- This is amazing.

You're chewing, and yet

there are no "nom-noms"

or "nyach-nyachs."

How do you do it?

- We'll tell you our secrets

if you tell us

how you scored a 39 today.

That's only one

off the course record.

- I really believe

the game is won

before you even step

onto the course.

all: Ooh.

- That's good.

- Let's not talk sport

at lunch.

- Oh. Did anyone read

that article

on new wind farm technology?

- Yes.

Yes, I did.

- Ricky thinks we're not

going to fit in around here.

- Yeah, we're just

as classy and sophisticated

as these people.

- [British accent] Oh.

My good man, a box

of your finest apple juice

with your bendiest straw.

- [British accent]

And make it snappy.

We're classy,

and we don't like to wait.

- Ooh.

- Ooh, appetizers.

Don't mind if I do.

[all chewing loudly]

This place is so fancy,

the food is pre-chewed.

- So, after reading

that article,

I have to say, it seems like

a "wind-wind" situation.

[all laugh]

[all chewing loudly]

Would you excuse me

for just one moment?

I'm going to go hit

the little putter's room.

What are you guys doing here?

- Proving you're

not better than us.

- Well, you're doing

a terrible job.

You're dressed like idiots,

and you're eating garbage.

- [scoffs]

- Wow, you are snobby.

- No, that's actually garbage.

[all chewing disgustedly]

Would you guys leave?

You don't belong here.

- But you do?

- Yes, he does.

He's a Vestie now.

That's what we call ourselves.

- Richard came up with it.

- Because we all wear vests.

- And we're besties.

- So he belongs,

buuuut you don't.

So buh-bye.

- Well, then maybe

we'll become members.

[laughter]

- You guys will never

become members here.

- Really?

Give us two reasons why not.

- Because you're classless

garbage eaters

and are terrible at mini-golf.

- What are you saying?

- I'm saying

you're classless garbage eaters

and are terrible at mini-golf.

- Say what you want about

our classless garbage eating,

but don't insult

our mini-golf skills.

- What mini-golf skills?

[laughter]

- Care to make this interesting?

- Well, first we'd have

to replace you

with three interesting people.

[laughter]

- We're talking about mini-golf.

Quads versus Vesties.

Winner takes all.

- All of what?

- Your vests.

[all gasp]

- Well, you have

nothing we want,

so what would we win?

- [sighs] You can take

everything you don't like

out of Dad's golf course.

[both gasp]

- Deal.

- Deal.

- Deal.

- Deal.

- Deal.

- Hamilton.

- You got it.

- Yes!

Deal.

[rock music]

- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

- We are terrible

at mini-golf.

How are we going to beat

the Vesties without Ricky?

- Yeah, Dawn. What were you

thinking when you made that bet?

- I'll tell you exactly

what I was thinking

at the precise moment

I made that bet.

I was thinking, "Oh, my gosh,

I just ate garbage."

- Oh. Hello.

all: Hello.

- So ice cream, huh?

[all chewing loudly]

Do you guys ever take

anything seriously?

- I take The Waffle-Nator

seriously.

[as Schwarzenegger]

I told you I'd be back.

- You know, this is why

I left you for the Vesties.

And this is why you're going

to lose the mini-golf challenge.

- [sighs]

Richard is so annoying.

- Pardon me, I forgot

I came in here for an apple.

- Yeah, but he's right.

We don't take things seriously.

That's why

he's the only one out of us

with any mini-golf skills.

- Pardon me,

I also forgot a napkin.

- And the only one of us

with any manners.

- Oh. And I forgot to say

good day!

- But he's terrible

at leaving a room.

- Oh, definitely.

- The worst.

[upbeat music]

- Anne.

- Hey.

- I just came from upstairs,

and there's

a few more items missing.

- Huh, that's strange.

- Yeah. Strange is

one word for it.

Here. Plug this in for me?

- Sure.

- Another word for it

might be,

you know, guilty!

- Oh.

Tom, what are you

talking about?

- You never liked

that golf course, did you, Anne?

If that is your real name.

- You know it's Chantal,

and I don't like it,

so I go by my middle name,

Anne.

What is your point?

- What'd you do

with my rocket?

- I don't know

where your rocket is

or any of your other stuff.

- Really? It's pretty hot

under that light,

isn't it, Chantal?

- Not anymore.

- Fine,

I believe you...Anne.

[clears throat]

Here. Plug this in for me?

[upbeat music]

- Dawn.

- Madison.

- Nicky.

- Lacey.

- Dicky.

- Ricky.

- Dawn.

- Ricky.

- Nicky.

- Ricky.

- Okay, this is ridiculous.

We know each other's names.

- So how's this going to work?

- Our best three

against you three.

- Right. Hamilton, Lacey,

you're out.

- All right.

Let's do this thing.

Quaddle up!

Um, sorry, Richard.

Your team's over there.

- Oh, right.

- [coughs]

[adventure music]

♪ ♪

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

- Aw. You missed.

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

- [coughs]

- A little late.

- No, I got one of Dicky's hairs

in my mouth.

- Did you just kick your ball

closer to the hole?

That's cheating.

- It's only cheating

if someone sees it.

- I saw it.

- Did you?

- [sighs]

- [whistling]

- I'm getting close, Anne.

- Yeah. You're two blocks

from Crazy Town.

You have yourself as a suspect.

- I'm not ruling anybody out.

- Forget it, Tom,

it's miniature golf.

- Oh, you're right.

- I am?

- Great idea.

- What idea?

- In order to find the culprit,

I need a disguise.

- Um, I didn't say that.

Hi.

[sniffing] Bacon?

Bacon grease.

The dog.

Tom.

- You mean Major Tom?

- He'll figure it out.

[upbeat music]

- How is the score so close?

- How is the score so close?

- If Dawn sinks the next putt,

they win.

- I got this.

Good luck, Dawn.

Try not to look at the alien,

even though

it's looking at you.

[all laugh]

- Yeah, Dawn,

try not to look at the alien.

I mean, look at that thing.

That dude is goo-guh-ly.

Eyes, eyes, eyes.

- Dicky!

- Sorry. Putt away.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

- Ah!

♪ ♪

[all groan]

all: Yes!

- We won!

Vesties: Vesties rule!

Vesties rule!

Vesties rule! Vesties rule!

Vesties rule!

- Good game.

You won fair and square.

- Yes, we did.

Isn't that right, Richard?

- No. It's not.

We cheated.

- What?

- Madison kicked her ball.

- I did not!

- You did too.

And now you're lying

about it.

You don't respect the game.

You don't care about honor

or wooden bridges

or Michigan grass.

All you care about is winning.

I wanted to be on a team

that played the right way.

And I chose the wrong team.

They may be garbage eaters,

but they're garbage eaters

with class.

- Thanks, bro.

- Very, very moving, Richard.

Buuuut unless Dawn's ball

magically falls into the hole

without her taking

another stroke,

we won,

and they lost.

- Squishy, it was you?

I knew this disguise would work.

Bring that back.

I'm going to get you.

I'm going to get you.

- [screaming] Googly eyes!

- The ball went in.

The Quads win!

[all cheering]

- No fair. She bumped into me,

and I hit it with my foot.

- That still counts.

- That's cheating.

- It's only cheating

if someone sees it.

- You saw it.

- Did I?

- You're no longer welcome

at the club.

- And you're no longer

welcome here.

As I said before, get out.

- I wanted that alien

and that spaceship.

- You'll get nothing

and like it.

- Well, you're not getting

our vests.

- Good, we didn't really

want them anyway.

They look stupid.

Oh, it looks good

on you, though.

- Welcome back.

- Our quaddles

weren't the same without you.

- Now what?

- Now we dance.

Three, two, one!

[techno music]

Tom: Squishy.

Squishy. Hey, kids.

Squishy!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪