Original subtitles

[rock music]

- Camp Bear Claw, here we come!

Ribbit. Ribbit.

What sound is that?

- The sound a bear makes.

Duh.

No, a bear goes grrr.

Yeah, if the bear

sounds like an elephant.

- Gee, I swear my bag wasn't

this heavy last night.

Aw, chicks.

Always over-packing.

[laughter]

Wait a minute.

What's this astronomy book

doing in my bag?

Ricky?

I have a perfectly

good explanation.

I ran out of room in mine.

That is all.

Ugh!

And what's this?

"Rugged Mud?"

Careful.

That's my jar of dirt.

I'm pretty sure

they have dirt at camp.

But this stuff is pure.

It's never been

on the ground.

It's going from this jar

to my face.

Why would you want

to look dirty?

'Cause girls dig

rugged dudes.

The dirtier

the flirtier.

Nicky, you're already wearing

a first-aid kit.

Yeah, and that's

my second-aid kit. Ow.

The only thing of mine you guys

left in my bag is one shoe.

How am I supposed to

flip without a flop?

Well, it can't be done,

which means now there's

more room for my underwear.

- No way.

You didn't pack

underwear?

I was just gonna

wear yours.

- You're not wearing mine.

- Or mine.

Fine.

Dawn?

All right. I guess another

two more weeks

in these won't matter.

Ugh. Camp is supposed

to be fun.

I can't believe I have to

spend it with you three.

You know what? I am this close

to just staying home.

- Yeah.

- You might as well.

- Maybe you guys

should stay home!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa!

No one is staying home

except me and your mother.

This is why camp

will be good for you.

You'll be outside,

meet new people, do new things.

You'll hardly know

each other is there.

Okay, let's, uh, start

loading up the car.

- Load it up.

- Okay.

Got it. Got it.

You know what?

Maybe Mom's right.

Maybe we don't need to know

each other at all.

If no one knows us, no one

will know we're related.

That's perfect!

And I can finally see what being

like an only child is like.

So it's agreed. When we get

to camp, we're not related.

Good idea.

Should we quaddle up?

Why would we quaddle up

if we don't know each other?

Yeah, we do.

That's Ricky.

That's Nicky, and--

Oh, we already started.

Good work, strangers.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Na na na na na-na ♪

♪ Na na na na na-na, hey! ♪

- ♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na na na na na-na ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[woman over loudspeaker]

Hey, camper bears!

Please check in

at the front desk

and have a bear-y good day!

- Welcome to Camp Bear Claw.

Grrrr.

Names?

- Dawn Harper.

- Ricky Harper.

- Dicky Harper.

- Nicky Harper.

[all]

No relation.

Whatever.

Uh, here are

your bunk assignments.

Now go and have

the adventure of a lifetime.

Grrrr.

Guys, it worked!

For the first time in our lives,

we're not related.

We're not quads.

We're just kids.

[all]

We're free!

I hope Mom and Dad

don't miss us too much.

[both]

We're free!

[laughing]

[dog barking]

Okay, campers, now that you've

got your scheduled activities,

go out there

and have a great day!

Hey, you guys must be

my cabinmates.

I'm Dawn, only child,

as in

absolutely no brothers.

- I'm Sienna.

- I'm McKenna.

And I'm Jenna.

[all]

We're the Ennas.

Okay, so, uh,

what are you guys psyched for?

Archery?

Capture the Flag?

[gasps]

Trust falls?

Here I go!

[thud]

Okay, that was fun.

You know, we got some room to

grow. But what do you want to

do now?

What we always do--

talk about boys!

Yeah, boys are cool,

but have you guys seen

the volleyball court?

Speaking of boys,

did you see Jake?

He got braces

with green brackets

which totally

match his eyes.

Uh, speaking of eyes,

I'm using mine to spy those

archery targets over there.

Who wants to go?

Nah. I'd rather get

a closer look at Jake.

- Me too.

- Boys!

Okay, if you need me,

I'll be at archery...

by myself...

because I'm free.

Aah! Spider!

Bigger spider!

Excuse me. I'm looking

for the counselor

in charge

of camp safety.

Yeah, that'd be me.

You?

The "whatever" guy?

Is that what they're

calling me now?

Whatever.

You all want to go

rock climbing or something?

Yes, but first, I've noticed

a bunch of hazards around camp

that are preventing me

from having fun.

For example, I'd love

to go rock climbing,

but this strap is broken.

- Um...

Good to go.

- Ow!

- Ahh, this is so great, Tom.

- Ha ha!

- No kids! You know, I can't

remember the last time

we got to watch a serious movie

for serious adults.

Yes! So get ready

Chain Saw Leprechaun Two:

Attack of the

Four Leaf Cleaver.

[imitates knife slashing]

[laughs]

Here we go.

[children shouting playfully

on TV]

Oh, no.

Oh, no, Anne.

Chain Saw Leprechaun's

going to a kids' party.

[gasps]

This is starting off strong.

No, it's the wrong DVD.

This is the quad's fifth

birthday party.

Oh, let's turn it off.

We're supposed to be

in a kid-free zone.

But wait. Wait. Look at their

cute little five-year-old faces

all covered in cake.

Aw.

But you're right, we--

we shouldn't be watching this.

No, no, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait!

- This is the part where Dicky

breaks his animal sounds wheel.

- Oh, yeah!

Oh--All right,

here's where he plays with it.

[man on TV]

The frog says, cock-a-doodle-do!

[Dicky]

Look, Mommy, I'm learning.

Oh, it's so cute the way he used

to do the wrong animal sounds.

He must have been so confused

when you finally told him.

I thought you told him.

No.

You're Lilly, right?

I'm Dicky.

Rugged only child.

Raised by wolves.

Moooo!

You know

that's a cow, right?

Well, I don't want to have

our first fight,

so let's just

"moooove" one.

You're so rugged.

Look at that dirt.

We don't stand a chance

against your muscles.

Let me see you flex

those bad boys.

Pull!

Yes! We win!

You "mooze."

She's so into me.

At last we meet,

giant telescope.

And the legends are true!

You are real,

and you are spectacular.

Where do you think you're going,

little dipper?

I just wanted to peak through

the largest telescope

I've ever had access to.

Whoa. Slow your roll,

Stephen Gawking.

Who says you have access?

Okay, I think we got off

on the wrong foot.

Ricky Harper, only child.

The telescope's

for returning campers only.

So make a U-turnicus,

tiny Copernicus.

[both laugh]

Does the fact

that I understand that enough

to be hurt by it help my case?

[woman over loudspeaker]

Attention, little bears.

Campfire s'mores hour

has begun.

So grab your chocolate,

marshmallows,

and graham crackers.

Oh, hey, Ennas!

I missed you

at canoeing earlier.

I was the only one

in the canoe,

so I mostly just paddled

in circles.

[laughs]

Circles.

Ooh, check out the new boy

over there.

He's so rugged.

Who, him?

He's not rugged at all.

He's wearing dirt from a jar

he brought from home.

Wait. How do you know

what he brought from home?

Home? W-who said "home"?

I didn't say "home."

Yeah, you did.

It's like he's your brother

or something.

Brother? I told you,

I'm an only child!

Then how do you know

so much about him?

Um, because...

he's, um...

Are you crushing

on him?

Is he your boyfriend?

Oh, my gosh, that would

be so cool.

We would totally do

camp activities with you

if you brought

your boyfriend along.

You would?

Why?

Because even though we talk

about boys at camp a lot,

we never actually talk

to any of them.

- She's afraid.

- So are you!

[both]

So is he your boyfriend?

Well, the truth is...

Say yes, and we'll go

canoeing with you.

Yes, Dicky is my boyfriend!

[Ennas]

Yay!

[Ennas giggling]

OMG, you and Dicky--

biggest camp news ever!

You know, you know,

probably not ever.

You know, I'm sure there's

been other things.

You know what? Let's talk

about it in the canoe.

Uh, ca-no.

First, introduce us.

Oh, I would, but he looks

kind of busy.

Even more reason. You don't

want Lilly crashing your crush.

Get in there!

Don't be scared

of rattlesnakes.

You can always hear them coming

by the sound they make.

Baaa. Baaa.

You know

that's a sheep, right?

Hey, you!

Stay away from my...

boyfriend.

[both]

Boyfriend?

Yes, and, uh,

these are the Ennas!

Everybody's met?

Great!

- But I'm--

- Excuse us.

Boyfriend?

Wow. My jar dirt

is working too good.

No!

Look, I know

this is crazy,

but I need you to pretend

you're my boyfriend

so these girls will actually do

camp stuff with me.

But I want to do camp stuff

with Lilly.

Do this for me, and I'll stop

kicking you in the shins.

You're not kicking me

in the shins.

Ow, ow, ow!

Okay, okay, okay, fine!

Oh, hey!

We're just playing shinsies.

Cute.

Let us take your picture,

so we can totally post it

and tell all our friends

we have a friend

who has a boyfriend.

Put your arms

around each other. It'll look

super cute.

Get closer.

Touch cheeks!

[camera shutter clicks]

Let's go post it.

- Oh, come on.

- Why would you do this?

Trust me,

you can do worse.

[playing harmonica]

♪ ♪

Um, Safety Counselor Ty?

Shouldn't you be tending

to that alarmingly large fire?

Who cares, when the fire

in my heart is out forever?

Oh, Daphne!

[plays harmonica]

Wait. Loudspeaker Daphne

dumped you?

That's why you don't care

about camp safety.

You got to snap out of it!

[sighs]

Man, why should I listen to you?

You don't know what it's like

to be burned by love.

If it's anything like

being burned

by an out-of-control fire,

we're all about to know

what that's like.

[sobbing]

[playing harmonica off-key]

Whoa! That new girl Dawn

has a boyfriend!

Nah.

Yeah. It's the guy

with the long hair.

Nah.

I think his name

is Dicky.

[gasps]

Nah.

The one who does those wildly

inaccurate animal impressions.

No!

There's no way any of that Dawn

and Dicky stuff is true.

That's impossible.

There's something horribly wrong

with these.

They only see evil!

You're just jealous like

the rest of us.

We all have

a crush on Dawn.

Hey! If we let that Dicky guy

use our telescope,

do you think

he'd bring her?

Wait a minute.

Just because Dawn is his...

girlfriend, you'd let him

use the telescope?

- Totally.

- Yeah.

Someone missing

the kids over there?

What?

Who, me someone? No.

No, I'm enjoying every second

of our kid-free time.

Oh. So all those pancakes

are just for the two of us.

[sighs]

Fine. I admit it.

I miss those

cute little stinkers.

Eh, me too.

Why don't we just get

out of the house

and go for a nice drive?

And visit them?

No. There's

no parents allowed.

Let's just hop in the minivan

and see where the day takes us.

That's so weird.

The day took us to the woods

right outside the kids' camp.

[laughs, imitates explosion]

Okay, campers, it's time

for Extreme Hide-and-Seek.

[all cheering]

So...

I heard you and

our brother are an item.

Shh! It's all pretend

to get my cabinmates

to do activities with me.

Camp is finally

starting to be fun.

Well, camp won't be

fun for me

till I get to use

that telescope.

So I'm gonna need you to drop

the Dicky

and get with the Ricky.

Hey, guys?

Are the rumors true?

Yes, Dicky

is Dawn's boyfriend.

Whoa!

I was talking about the

camp sunscreen being expired...

but this is much more

disturbing.

It's all fake, Nicky.

Yeah, but she's about to fake

break up with him to be with me.

Um, no I'm not, Ricky.

I'm perfectly happy

in my current fake situation.

Ooh, fake breakup.

That's how I can

get through to Ty.

This may be playing

with fire,

but it's safer than

playing with fire.

So, if anyone asks,

you're my ex-girlfriend,

and you broke my heart.

Thanks, sis.

There's my boo

from cabin two.

Ew. What happened

to your face?

According to the warning label

on my jar of dirt,

it's probably a fungus.

Is it really noticeable?

Yeah, a little bit.

Forget that.

Lilly saw us making

dream catchers,

and now she's totally jealous.

Couple more camp activities

together,

and I can dump you

and upgrade to a girl

who's not my sister.

Okay, this is

the worst hiding spot ever.

There's the cutest

couple at camp!

- [gasps] Aah!

- Nasty!

Dump him now!

Dicky, it's over.

It's not you. It's your face.

She's already moved on

to the Rickster.

Who?

Me, I'm the Rickster.

And we're very happy.

Now we know somebody

who's had two boyfriends.

Picture!

[camera shutter clicks]

Ty?

Are you slow-dancing

with Daphne's microphone

taped to a broom?

No.

[laughs] Yeah.

No. Yeah.

No, no.

[laughs] Maybe.

No. Yeah.

Listen, man, you don't know

what it's like

to be crushed by an angel.

You're wrong. I've also

been crushed by an angel.

You may know her as...

Camper Dawn.

The one that was

with Camper Dicky

but is now

with Camper Ricky?

She's what?

No, see, that doesn't

even bother me.

You know

how I got over her?

I focused

on other things...

like camp safety,

and you should too.

Yeah. You know,

maybe you're right.

[sighs]

Maybe I should, Camper Nicky,

and just forget

about how Daphne

was the greatest thing

that ever happened to me.

I was?

Daphne?

Ty?

- Daphne.

- Oh, Ty.

Thank you so much.

You've made me so happy, and now

I'm gonna make you happy.

Great. You're gonna start

focusing on camp safety?

No. I'm gonna get you

and Camper Dawn back together.

Oh, please don't.

[all giggling]

Um, Ricky-pie?

How much longer are

you gonna be?

Patience, Dawny-cakes.

It's still not dark enough

to see Ursa Major

or Cassiopeia.

[Ty on loudspeaker]

Camper Dawn, please report

to Bear Claw Point.

Yes!

Cassio-see ya!

Uh, Nicky,

what's going on?

This might sound strange,

but for the safety of everyone

at camp,

you need to dump Ricky and fake

get back together with me.

They're flowers.

[gasps]

Oh, this has to stop!

There you are.

I need you back.

Lilly won't pay attention to me

unless I'm hanging out with you.

[coughs]

Dawn's already taken...

by the Rickster.

Who?

Me, I'm the Rickster.

No, she's mine.

No, she's mine.

[boys grunting]

Dawn is mine!

I need her way more than you do!

Hey, those are my flowers!

[all shouting]

Where is this camp?

Ugh. I hope we're not lost.

Don't worry. I'm leaving

a trail of pancakes

so we can find

our way back.

[children arguing]

Wait, wait.

I hear kids arguing.

- [gasps] We must be close!

- Shh!

Remember,

no parents allowed.

So be quiet

with your big loud feet.

Aaah!

- Are you okay?

- Yes. Yeah.

- Okay.

- I think I'm okay.

- You sure?

- Wow.

Aaaah!

Oh! Wow!

That stick hates me.

Aaah!

[grunts]

Aaah!

No!

Why do I keep walking into--

Aaah!

No!

Are you doing this

on purp--

Aaaah!

Uh, what was that?

Well, if I've learned anything

since my fifth birthday...

[Tom yelling]

- That's an elephant!

- It's a bear!

[all]

Bear!

Whatever!

Either way, I'm running!

[children]

Bear!

Bear? And we have a trail

of pancakes leading right to us.

- Oh, no! Bears love pancakes!

- I know!

[screaming]

Okay, all right, all right,

you know what they say.

The best way to scare off a bear

is to act like a bear.

[growling]

- Guys! Guys, stop!

I can't run anymore.

Do any of you know

the way back to camp?

[boys]

No!

Great.

We're lost.

[Tom growling]

I can't believe this is

our first camp experience.

I just wanted to do camp stuff

and have fun.

Me too. I know we all get on

each other's nerves sometimes,

but I have to admit,

camp was hard without you.

And dangerous!

And I wish I packed

more underwear.

None of this

would have happened

if we'd just told the truth.

You know what?

I'm proud to say it loud.

I'm your sister,

and you're my brothers!

[Ennas]

Ewwwww!

[all]

Hey, everyone.

Uh, so--so your brothers

are your boyfriends?

It's not what

it sounds like.

Yeah, we're definitely

not her brothers.

[growling]

[all]

Mom? Dad?

Oh. This isn't

the outlet mall.

[laughs]

You kids know your dad.

He never wants to ask

for directions.

Hey, hey,

where am I?

So you really are

brothers and sister?

Yes.

These are my brothers.

So what do you say?

Can we all just forget

that we lied and start over?

[all]

No.

Okay, you guys had enough camp

for the summer?

- All set.

- Let's go.

We'll explain in the car.

Okay.

Follow the pancakes!

We'll explain

in the car.

[Tom]

Hey, where'd

all the pancakes go?

[bear growls]

Elephant!

♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪