Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

[all]

One, two, three, go!

Keep your stick straight!

Stop throwing

at my face.

- Foul! You guys wiggle-woggled.

- No, I didn't.

- Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't.

- Do you believe this, Anne?

- I know. That was clearly an

illegal wiggle-woggle.

- No, I didn't!

- Yes, you did!

No, I didn't!

- What are you kids doing?

[plungers pop]

We're trying to play

Toilet Stick Round Thingy Toss.

Yeah, well,

when your mother and I

invented Toilet Stick

Round Thingy Toss,

we intended

for it to be taken seriously.

I'm trying, Dad,

but Wiggle and Woggle over here

are making a mockery of the

sport.

You know, maybe it's time

we got these kids

some after-school activities.

Good parenting, Mom.

However, since chess club ended

and my Japanese language club

doesn't start

for another san shukan--

that's three weeks in Japanese--

I've decided

to take a well-deserved break.

And we're taking it

with him.

Well, you've got a week

to find something constructive

to do with your free time,

or your mother and I are gonna

find something for you.

Hey, you could always come

with me to my slow-cooker class.

This week, we are making

an Italian feast in one pot!

We're gonna pass on that

in one word--

no.

[horn plays]

I told you

Tuba Monster was real.

I have great news.

Ms. Bing asked me

to play tuba

in the school's

traveling orchestra.

We get to perform at a different

school every Saturday.

Can I get a boo-ya

for my tuba?

Traveling orchestra, wow.

When we said you kids

should get involved

in after-school activities,

we didn't mean all of them.

Yeah, sweetie,

don't you think

maybe you're spreading

yourself a little thin?

But I love playing the tuba,

and I'm getting pretty good

at it.

Plus, it makes the boys do this.

[loud horn note]

[laughs]

Dawn, you've got soccer

and your chores

and your homework and--

Look, I know

it sounds like a lot,

but at least give me a chance

to try.

I promise

I can totally do it all.

That's why everyone

calls me Do-it-all Dawn.

We don't call you that.

I thought we called her,

"Know-It-All Dawn."

Not to her face.

Okay, but if your grades

suffer at all,

you're gonna

have to drop something.

- Oh, thank you.

- Hold on.

It's bad enough you drag us

to Dawn's stupid soccer games.

Now we have to be dragged to

her even stupider tuba concerts?

- Come on.

- I mean, it's not fair.

H-h-h-hold on a sec.

We are Harpers, and we support

each other's stupid activities.

- Tom!

- What?

Oh, it's just

the way the kids talk.

It means fresh and cool.

Like, "Hey.

Stupid pants, Anne."

Trust me, I know this.

That's why they call me

Knows-the-way-the-kids-talk Tom.

I thought we called him

The Bald Eagle.

Not to his face.

[upbeat music]

♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na, hey! ♪

♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Na na na na na-na ♪

♪ Na na na na na-na, hey! ♪

- ♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na na na na na-na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[upbeat music]

[playing tuba]

♪ ♪

Hey, how's it going?

Aww, that's so sweet.

You guys came backstage

to check on me before I went on.

Yeah, totally.

On a completely unrelated note,

is there any food back here?

Gee, thanks

for the support, guys.

You're welcome.

But seriously,

where's the food?

There's no food.

Ricky's getting cranky!

At least when we get dragged

to your soccer games,

there's a snack shack.

Plus, all those free

orange slices and juice boxes.

Um, those are

for the players.

I'm a playa.

[loud tuba note]

[all] Ah!

- I hate that thing.

- Stupid tuba.

I'm still hungry.

So what kind of music

you think they're gonna play?

Not classical, right?

Probably some cool jazz

or some uptown funk?

Tom, it's the Edgewood

Classical Orchestra.

Pretty sure they're gonna

be playing classical music.

- Oh.

I know it's not your favorite,

but can't you just hold it

together for an hour for Dawn?

I can't hold it all, Anne.

That's the problem.

What?

When I was a toddler,

I was resistant

to potty training, and...

I was resistant

to potty training,

so my mother used

classical music to relax me, but

it worked too well.

Now every time I hear Bach,

Little Tommy has to tinkle.

But you're Big Tommy now.

You drove us here.

You're right.

I can control this.

- Yeah.

- I'm a grown man.

- Yeah.

- [chuckles]

Ladies and gentlemen,

The Best of Bach.

[classical music]

[gasps]

Little Tommy has to tinkle!

[upbeat music]

You need a hand there, Dawn?

No, I'm good,

just trying to squeeze

a little practice in before

I have to do my homewor--

Oh, honey!

Are you okay?

[coughs]

Depends.

Is that my leg?

No, that's the mannequin's.

[Dawn sighs]

Hon, are you sure

you're not taking on too much?

- No. I'm good.

- Okay.

- I am Do-it-all Daw--

- Oh, oh!

- Look, I know

what you're thinking,

but I also

just started taking

a class called, "How to Fall

Completely on Purpose."

Nailed it.

[plays tuba]

Well, well, well,

if it isn't

the Saturday-Stealer.

The Weekend-Waster.

The girl who plays tuba

so we can't do what we want

because we're stuck

at her stupid recitals...er.

Guys, I feel really bad

that my recitals

are ruining your weekends.

So you're gonna quit?

Yes, I'm gonna quit.

Feeling bad.

Maybe you guys

should listen to Dad

and get your own activities so

you can ruin your own weekends,

'cause I love mine

and I'm not giving them up.

[loud tuba note]

[all] Ah!

[sighs]

I can't believe we have

to suffer through another one

of Dawn's snackless concerts.

[bell rings]

- Hey, kids.

Look what The Bald Eagle

dug out of the storage room

for the baseball display.

Caw-caw!

Caw-caw!

Hey, Bald Eagle

just gave me an idea.

What if we didn't have to suffer

through another concert?

What if we could convince him

to let us borrow

the hot dog cart this weekend?

That's brilliant.

Not only will we have food,

but we can sell hot dogs to

all those other starving people.

And Dad'll be happy because it's

an extracurricular activity.

Dicky, you're a genius.

Genius?

I just thought it would be fun

to ride around the parking lot.

But yeah, genius feels right.

[upbeat music]

The capital of Utah

is Salt Lake City.

The capital of Virginia

is Richmond.

The capital of Rhode Island is--

[whistle blows]

Harper!

What are you doing?

Sorry, Coach.

I was up late

practicing the tuba.

I have a big test tomorrow,

and I really need to study.

Oh, well,

why didn't you say so?

How about we take a break

from practice,

get some flash cards,

and the whole team can quiz you?

- Really?

- No!

[blows whistle]

Study on your own time.

Sorry, Coach!

Won't happen again!

I'm 100% focused on soccer

starting right now!

Okay.

Soccer. Soccer.

Socc-ramento is the capital

of California.

The capital

of New York is--ball!

[upbeat music]

Dawn, we are on

in two minutes.

- Time to put the notebook away.

- Okay. Just one sec. I didn't

get a chance to finish my

homework yesterday--

Just put it away.

Okay. Almost done.

Almost--

Oh!

[horn plays]

Well--

[bell ringing]

- Dogs! Get your hot dogs!

Doggy, doggy, doggy.

Who wants a hot doggy?

Can I get a regular dog, and

could you warm the bun, please?

No problem.

Lonely pooch

in a warm slipper!

Flying in hot.

You know,

I got to hand it to the boys.

They're really working hard back

there.

[raspy] Yeah, I'm glad

I let 'em use the cart.

Tom, this is silly.

Just drink some water.

No, I haven't had

any liquids in 24 hours.

[sighs]

They can play

all the Bach they want.

My river has run dry.

The Edgewood

Classical Orchestra

is proud to perform

Toccata in D Minor by Bach.

But first,

something by Mozart.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

Bach, Bach lemonade,

around the corner,

Mozart's made.

[gasps]

[yelps]

[upbeat music]

[all]

Ooh.

And I thought investing my

hot dog money in savings bonds

was brilliant.

But this...

I mean, Nicky, bravo.

To Nicky, Ricky, Dicky,

& Dogs!

[all grunt]

Whoops.

I'll get that.

No need, my good man.

Allow my hot dog money

to take care of it.

Lucas.

I bought the freedom

to never do chores again.

Ah, Mr. D,

always with the messes.

Let me get that for you.

He doesn't just get my messes,

he gets me.

I think we need

to take a minute

to appreciate how lucky we are.

Agreed.

If it wasn't for Dawn

and her kooky tuba dreams,

we wouldn't have any of this.

To Dawn!

I got you, Mr. D.

[vacuum hums]

[upbeat music]

The capital of New Mexico

is Santa Fe.

The capital

of Colorado is...

[sighs]

Sleepytown.

What's wrong with Dawn?

Yeah. Everybody knows the

capital of Colorado is a C.

[dog barks]

- I'm Do-it-all Dawn!

What am I doing?

Maybe Mom and Dad were right.

Maybe I can't do it all.

I love the tuba,

but maybe I have to give it up.

If Dawn quits band,

our hot dog business is over.

No more hot dogs.

No more cotton candy.

No more Lucas.

Oh, that reminds me.

More, Lucas.

Got to get it in

while he's still here.

[upbeat music]

What am I gonna do?

Am I Do-it-all Dawn?

Am I not Do-it-all Dawn?

Okay, all clear, Tom.

She's not playing Mozart.

Mom, Dad...

Relax.

She's Do-it-all Dawn.

There's no way

she's really gonna quit.

- [sighs]

You were right.

I've got a lot on my plate,

and...

She's gonna quit!

It's impossible for me to--

Study on an empty stomach.

The only thing this girl doesn't

have on her plate is food.

Look how light she is.

What's happening?

See? She's delirious.

She doesn't even know

what's happening.

What are you doing?

Put me down.

[grunts]

Okay, I asked for that.

You can't quit band.

Why do you care if I quit?

What kind of message

does that send to all the girls

who look up to you

as a tuba-playing role model?

Yeah, you're Do-it-all Dawn.

What do you say?

Will you stick with band

and be an inspiration

to girls everywhere?

I don't get it.

I thought you guys were happy

to have your Saturdays back.

Oh, I get it now.

You don't want me to quit

'cause you'll have to give up

your stupid hot dog business.

Pfft. What?

That's crazy talk.

"Get a hot dog fridge,"

I said.

"No, I want a butler,"

you said.

Why did we even

have that meeting?

This isn't

about our hot dog business.

Yeah, we'd give up

that cart in a second

if it was

the right thing for you.

Look, I'm so tired right now,

I don't know what to believe.

But it doesn't matter anyway.

I physically

can't do it all.

Well, what if we helped you

do it all?

I can help you

with your homework.

And I can carry

your tuba.

[phone ringing]

Oh, and I'll answer all your

calls, so you can stay focused.

Lucas!

Phone.

Dicky Harper's sister's phone.

This is Lucas.

Wow, this could actually work,

unless they move my soccer game

to the exact same time

as my next band performance.

Uh, Ms. Do-it-all,

they just moved your soccer game

to the exact same time

as your next band performance.

What? No!

I have a big tuba solo that day.

How am I supposed to do it all

if it's all at the same time?

[Nicky grunts]

Maybe I should carry

your books instead.

I can't even see

where I'm going with this thing.

That's it!

I can hide behind Dawn's tuba

and pretend to play

while she's at her soccer game.

Then, we can cause a distraction

at the game.

She'll run over, play her solo,

and run back to the game

before anyone notices.

Nicky, you're a genius.

I thought I was a genius.

You know, you're a little

loosey-goosey with the G word.

This week's concert

is just across the park

from the soccer field.

Dawn, what do you think?

[snoring]

I got this, Mr. D.

He's the best butler

hot dog money can buy.

[upbeat music]

- Ugh.

- Come on.

- Almost there.

- [groans]

Almost there.

Wait for the bell.

I'm not gonna make it, Anne!

Is this

how old people dance?

[bell rings]

[both]

Ah!

[laughs]

- I made it!

- Yes!

- Made it!

- [laughs]

Do we want to know

what's happening here?

Oh, I'm trying

to recondition your father

not to give into the urge

to use the men's room

whenever he hears Bach.

So you're potty training

your husband?

Yes.

But aren't you afraid you're

just transferring Dad's trigger

from classical music

to the sound of bells?

Oh, sweetie,

I don't think it works that way.

Whew.

[bell rings]

[gasps]

[yelps]

What do you know?

It does work that way.

[upbeat music]

Cello. Violin.

One tuba.

Where's Dawn?

[high-pitched voice]

Right here, Ms. Bing.

Dawn, what are you doing?

Take your position.

Yes, Ms. Bing.

- That's not your position.

- Sorry.

You know how us girls are.

Always forgetting stuff.

[giggles]

[Lobo]

Nice save, Harper.

- Keep it up.

- Will do, Coach.

At least until Dicky can find

a way to delay the game.

Come on, Dicky.

[sprinklers turn on]

[children screaming]

- All right,

everyone off the field

until we can turn off

the sprinklers.

- And I messed

with the timer,

so that won't happen

for another 27 minutes.

I think we all know

who the real genius is.

Yes, we do.

[classical music]

Dawn, it's time for your solo.

Stand up.

[thinking]

Where is she?

[flat tuba note]

♪ ♪

There she is.

Okay.

Ricky needs a plan.

[Dawn]

Ow!

- Whoopsie.

Dropped some girly business

behind this curtain.

[playing tuba]

♪ ♪

[applause]

Nice job, Dawn.

I know, I rocked it,

not to toot my own horn.

But, just to be clear,

that was totally me tooting

my own horn the entire show.

Got to go.

Hey,

there's our little tuba star.

Oh!

[laughs]

You were so great, honey.

I know, I rocked it,

not to toot my own horn.

But, just to be clear,

that was totally me tooting

my own horn the entire show.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

where--

Hey!

We thought we'd celebrate.

Yeah. Whee!

Not for this big boy.

Honey, I am so sorry

that we doubted you.

Today, you proved

that you really can do it all.

And we can't wait to see

you do it all again tomorrow

at your soccer game.

- Right. Tomorrow.

- Yeah.

Unless it gets canceled.

Got to go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.

Hey!

Not without a hug.

- Huh? Get in here.

- Huh? Aw.

Tuba hug.

Oh.

- Tuba.

- [grunting]

Oh, no.

She's in the parent trap.

She has to get back

to the game.

We have to do something.

I got it!

I'm a genius!

You know, Dicky's right.

I'm starting to think

you're the boy who cried genius.

- Tuba.

- Tuba, tuba, tuba, tuba, tuba.

- Tu--

- Okay. Okay, okay.

That's a good enough hug.

Good-bye!

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

Right now is the perfect time

for a celebratory ice cream.

Yep.

[bell rings]

[gasps]

Got to go!

- Anne, why?

- It wasn't me, I swear!

Thanks so much.

Now I got to get back

to that game.

You only have four minutes.

Four minutes?

That's not enough time!

I'm never gonna make it.

[sighs]

Aw, forget it.

I really can't do it all.

There is one way.

We could take the cart.

But what about your business?

Look at all those customers.

But we don't love

selling hot dogs.

Not like you love

playing the tuba.

Or playing soccer.

Besides, we said we'd give up

our hot dog business

if it was

the right thing for you.

And that's what we're gonna do.

Aww, you guys.

I thought

that was a total lie.

Oh, it was.

100%.

But we mean it now.

Oh, and, uh, three minutes.

We'll get you there.

You just worry

about getting changed.

No problem.

Come on, let's go.

- Okay.

Thank you guys so much!

You're the best brothers ever!

- Rock!

- Got it.

[all grunt]

There's my game.

I think it's already started.

- Gopher hole!

- Going for the hole.

No, don't go for the hole!

It's a gopher hole!

That's what I said!

I'm so confused!

[rattling]

- Whoa!

Oof.

I did it!

I saved it!

I'm Do-it-all Dawn!

Oh, whoops.

Wrong game.

My team's over there.

Excuse me.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

and there will be a hot dog cart

coming here any moment,

so feel free to help yourself.

[bell rings]

- No brakes!

[upbeat music]

I'm sorry.

I should have listened

to you guys.

Ah, don't be so hard

on yourself, kiddo.

So you got benched for a game,

and you had to quit band.

I mean, nobody can do it all.

Even your mom,

who has a full-time job

and takes care of you four,

can't do everything.

Last night's lasagna,

for example.

Sorry.

It was a miss.

I love you so much.

[bell rings]

- [gasps]

- [groans]

[laughter]

Mom, you're a genius.

Oh, thank you, sweetie.

- Doesn't mean anything.

- Totally hollow.

- Does it to everybody.

♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na

na na na na na na ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪