Original subtitles

♪ La-la-la la-la-la

la-la-la-la ♪

[blows whistle]

- All right!

Puppet roll call!

Nicky!

- Here!

- Ricky!

- Present!

- Dicky!

- How's it going?

[Dawn]

All right, everyone.

Welcome to the opening day

of puppet season.

Now, I don't know about you,

but I am sick

of coming in second place at the

school talent show every year.

- Me too.

- I hate losing to Pete Tibbals.

Me too.

Just because Pete Tibbals

can fit his whole fist

in his mouth.

How is that a talent?

I mean, anyone can.

[grunts]

Wow.

Tibbals got skills.

I think we all agree,

we hate losing

to Pete Tibbals.

[all]

Tibbals.

But I've got some good news.

His hands grew

over the summer.

And he got braces!

So his hand doesn't fit?

Like stuffing a bowling ball

in a tube sock.

- Yes!

That means we're gonna win!

Not so fast.

Guys, it doesn't matter

who we're up against.

The Pigs

is a second-place show.

That's why, this year,

we should finally do...

Goldilocks and the Three Bears!

But we've been perfecting

The Pigs for three years.

Why would we change now?

This is our year.

I agree, but I think

we should do something fresh

that'll push us over the top.

Guys, I just want us to win.

So do we.

We just have to agree to agree.

But I disagree.

Well, there's your problem.

Look, there's an easy way

to settle this.

All in favor of doing

The Three Little Pigs again?

It's "quad-nanimous."

Uh, it's only "quad-nanimous"

if all four of us agree.

What does it matter?

- It matters 'cause

you're not listening to me.

Every year, I say we should

do something different,

and every year,

you vote against me,

and every year,

we come in second.

What's the point

of even voting?

She's right.

Voting's a waste of time.

Thank you.

All in favor of getting rid

of the vote

and always doing

The Three Little Pigs?

It's settled.

"Boy-jority" rules.

Oh, wait.

What's that I hear?

Is that the second-place train?

[mimics train chugging]

Second-second,

second-second, second-second,

second-second, second-second!

[mimics train whistle]

Lose! Lose!

[Tom gasps]

Is it puppet season already?

Oh!

Old Alice looks better

than ever.

Tom, I know you love "Alice,"

but you have to admit,

she's seen better days.

It's true Alice is a

puppet theater of a certain age,

but she's seen me

through a lot, Anne.

She's the stage upon which

the next generation

of Harper puppeteers

have honed their craft.

She's the very foundation of--

Whoa.

Face it, Tom.

Alice has put on

her last puppet show.

Well, why don't we just

ask the kids?

You love old Alice, right?

- Yeah!

- Absolutely.

- Love her.

- See? The kids understand.

That's because

they haven't seen this.

[boys oohing]

It has twice the space

and a padded floor

so your knees don't get sore.

Oh, nice try, Anne,

but my kids would never replace

old, reliable Alice.

- Yeah, we would.

- Totally.

She's out.

Dawn, you don't want to get rid

of old Alice, right?

It doesn't matter

what puppet theater we use

if we put the same lame,

second-place show in it.

This is so amazing!

So much better

than Alice.

What are we gonna

name her?

This is one heck of a start

to puppet season!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na,

na-na ♪

- ♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- ♪ Na, na-na ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh, hey ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

[sighs]

Listen.

You guys were right.

We should definitely do

The Three Little Pigs again.

But what if we spiced it up a

little and did something crazy,

like, I don't know...

gave the wolf golden locks?

Interesting.

I'm listening.

Then she could--

I'm just spit-balling here--

go into the pigs' house

and sample their food,

furnishings, and bedding.

That could work!

And make the pigs bears.

Let's vote on it.

All in favor of telling Dawn

she's not fooling us

and the only way to win

is sticking with

The Three Little Pigs?

I thought you weren't voting

anymore.

All in favor of reinstating the

vote so we can vote Dawn down?

Sorry, Dawn.

You lose now,

but we're all gonna win later.

Ooh, don't forget,

we're rehearsing

right after school.

And you won't be needing this.

Hmm.

- Hey, Dawn.

- Hey, Mack.

So, listen, I was wondering

if maybe you wanted

to kick the ball around

after school?

I can't.

I actually have practice.

[Dicky]

Look at me! I'm Dawn!

[Ricky]

Little Goldilocks!

Give me the wig!

It's my turn to play

second place.

Nothing.

I have nothing to practice

after school.

I'd love to hang out.

Great.

See you then.

[Nicky]

Goldilocks is the worst!

[as puppet]

Oh, no, you didn't!

Oh, yes, I did!

Hmm!

♪ Na na na na na ♪

♪ Na-na na na na, hey ♪

- [gasps]

Ooh!

I think I see the puppet theater

delivery guy.

You know, Anne...

it's easy to be tempted by

a shiny, new puppet theater.

But you're making a mistake

turning your back on old Alice.

Yeah! They don't make 'em

like they used to.

That's removable.

See? I can't have that happen

up on stage.

You can't have that happen?

I mean the kids.

It would be really embarrassing

for me--them!

I would never hear the end

of it--they!

[sighs]

Call me crazy, but I think

there's something else going on

here.

Fine, Tom!

It's embarrassing.

I see the other parents

pointing.

I hear them whispering,

"Look at her, she's pathetic."

[gasps]

They don't say that about you.

Not about me.

About Alice.

[gasps]

They may say that about you,

but they do not say that

about Alice!

Oh, yes, they do, Tom.

But not this year.

The new puppet theater

is gonna change all that.

I'll show them.

So you're saying you care more

about what other people think

than about my feelings?

[doorbell rings]

I need to answer that, Tom.

You're darn right you do!

I meant the door.

Oh, I guess I have my answer.

[Ricky]

Where have you been?

You've missed

most of rehearsal!

Oh, did I?

Sorry.

Mack and I were hanging out and

I guess I lost track of time.

Well, I hope your fingers

are warm,

'cause we're jumping right in.

Okay, we'll pick it up

with the wolf at the door.

[as puppet] Not by the hairs

of my chinny-chin-chin!

[half-hearted] Huff, puff,

blow your house down.

[blows raspberry]

Oh, well,

good enough for second place.

- See ya.

- Where you going?

Uh, that's all the rehearsal

I need,

so I'm gonna continue

to skip rehearsal every day

to hang out with Mack.

Unless you want

to rehearse something

that actually has a chance

of winning.

Until then,

blow your own house down.

If she keeps this up, we're

no longer the front-runners.

We could lose

to the juggling Branzinos!

You shut your puppet hole!

We will not

get second place again.

And we will not let Dawn

sink this ship.

We need to keep her focused

on what's important: us.

Yeah, we need to get rid

of Dawn's little distraction.

I think it's about time we pay

Mack a little visit.

But we need to be smart

about it.

No one can know it's us.

Hey, eyelashes.

Whoa...whoa...whoa!

Hey.

Awesome puppets.

We're not here to chitchat,

punk.

What are you guys doing?

Don't look at them.

This is between us.

Word on the street is

you have a thing

for interrupting

puppet practice.

What are you talking about?

We're talking about you

making us

have to postpone

puppet practice,

you pretty little

pepper pot!

What's a pepper pot?

Somebody who asks

too many questions!

Dawn was late yesterday...

because of you, pal!

Guys, I'm sorry.

I had no idea.

I told you not

to look at them!

All right, bub,

here's how it's gonna be!

You cancel your plans with Dawn

this afternoon,

or we're gonna cancel you.

This is our year,

and we're not gonna let you,

or your awesome eyelashes,

get in the way of us

winning that talent show!

Look, I don't want

any trouble.

I'll stay away from Dawn.

Glad you see things our way.

Our work here is done,

boys.

Let's roll.

[boys imitating engines revving]

Okay, yeah, I just need

to find the Flugenfleegan

and put it in

the Flechenstichen.

You know what's great theater?

Watching you try

to build a theater.

What? I just need to get

this peg

into this ridiculously

tiny hooollleee.

Ugh!

Come on. Okay.

I-will-not-be-

humiliated--oh!

Ohh!

You know, Anne,

when I built Alice.

there wasn't any shouting

or shoe hammering.

- Hmph!

- Hmm.

It was easy.

Ooh.

Because I built her

for the right reasons.

Not to quiet the whispers

or stop the pointing,

but to give the puppets

a place to shine

and tell their stories.

Tom...

You are this close

to getting Schlugenviel

in your Sloggenbosch.

[both]

And one, and two,

and one, and two--

So I hear three little piggies

popped in

for an impromptu puppet powwow

with a pretty pepper pot.

At least our puppets

didn't spit.

Next time,

stay away from Mack.

We only talked to Mack

because we're never gonna win

first place if you

don't show up to practice.

Well, I'd rather

hang out with Mack

than practice some

dumb old play

that's not gonna win us

first place.

You know what?

Mack's not the problem.

You are, Dawn.

Oh, I'm the problem?

Okay, then fine.

Problem solved.

I quit.

[all]

What?

- Have fun coming in last.

You don't get to tell us

what to do!

Hey, Dad, what's wrong?

Nothing.

Just getting some ice

for my Sloggenbosch.

Whew.

♪ [whistling] ♪

The Branzino Sisters

smell blood.

They think now that Dawn's

off our team, we're weak.

Are we?

Relax,

we're gonna be fine.

Dawn's gonna come

crawling back to us.

Look, here she comes now.

Dawn, let us save you

the trouble

of crawling back to us.

Yes, we'll take you back.

I'm not crawling

back to you.

I was looking for this...

Which goes with this.

[all]

A puppet?

Which goes with this.

[all]

Mack?

My new partner

for my own puppet show.

Show them your puppet,

Mack.

[all]

Mack's puppet?

That's a bear, as in Goldilocks

and the three of them.

No hard feelings

here, guys.

Yeah, like we're afraid

of a sock puppet.

[laughs]

Mack, show 'em

what you got.

This porridge is too hot.

This porridge is too cold.

This one is just right.

Hmm.

How did he do that?

He went to puppet camp.

[gasps]

And it was sleep away.

[all gasp]

Good luck at the talent show.

Hmm.

Two hands?

- Three puppets?

- It's over!

It's not over.

We can still win without Dawn.

Yes we can.

We just gotta get Mack.

We can't get Mack.

Dawn got Mack.

Well, if we get Dawn back,

Mack'll come with her.

We're not getting

either of them.

We just need to find someone

who's better than Dawn.

Oh, I know somebody.

- Who?

- Mack.

I'm out.

♪ Uh, uh, oh

Hey, uh, oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

So tell me why you think

you'd be right

for the role

of the Big Bad Wolf.

[low voice]

Well, I'm big and I'm bad,

and I've been told

I have wolf breath.

Okay.

Let's take it from,

"Not by the hair

of my chinny-chin-chin."

And...puppet.

Then I'll huff

and I'll puff

and I'll blow

your house down!

- [coughs]

- Oh.

She does have wolf breath.

Next.

And I'll huff

and I'll puff

and I'll blow

your house down.

[coughs]

Next!

And I'll huff

and I'll puff

and I'll blow

your house down!

[applause]

- Well done.

- Very nice.

We found our new wolf.

Oh, I told you guys,

I'm just here to pick you up.

But please,

you're perfect.

I'm not even

a student here.

Oh, why don't you guys

use Mack?

I heard him in the hallway.

He is a natural.

He's not a natural!

He went to camp!

Okay, whoa, sorry.

I'll meet you outside.

What are we gonna do?

I'll tell you

what we're gonna do.

I'm gonna put a pig on one hand,

a wolf on the on the other,

and go out there and puppet

like no one else can.

Except maybe Mack.

Ricky's getting upset!

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

[sighs]

And...done.

And...miss.

W-w-what part is a miss?

Oh, well, you know,

just basically...this.

Just help me get it

to the car.

Ugh.

Okay.

Okay.

Yup, yup, yup, yup.

Hon, I don't think

it's gonna--

It's gonna fit!

The door's too small.

Make it wider!

I can't make it wider.

Ugh!

I'll do it myself!

[grunting]

Okay, okay, okay.

Hon, hon, hon, hon, hon,

hey, hey, listen, listen.

What?

Even if you could get it

through the door,

is this what you want

the world to see?

[panting]

No.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Then let's show

those pointers and whisperers

something we can both

be proud of.

No, Tom.

Let's do it for the puppets...

And their stories.

That's my girl.

Oh!

♪ La la la

la la la la la ♪

[playing water-filled glasses]

♪ ♪

I feel so pretty.

We're crushing this!

♪ ♪

[applause]

Let's give it up

for Indra and Oscar.

That was oddly moving.

- Well, well, well, if it isn't

the three little piggies

who are gonna cry,

"Wee, wee, wee,

all the way

to second place."

Clever, but your snappy

wordplay isn't gonna save you

once our puppet fists of fury

hit the stage!

I don't need word play.

I've got Mack.

He is really good.

Yes, we know!

He's good!

- Puppets up next.

Up next, puppets.

- Okay, easy.

[Anne] Ugh.

- Easy.

[Anne] Ugh!

- Easy.

- Ugh! Easy for you.

I could use

a little help.

No, you're doing great.

Easy.

[groaning]

- Easy.

- [groaning]

[Tom]

Easy.

Where is your little golden boy,

anyway?

He's here. He's just doing

his special puppet warm-ups.

Well,

you may have Mack,

but we've got the best wolf

that we've ever had.

Oh really?

Yeah.

He's huffy and puffy,

but in a good way.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know what it means.

I'm only huffy and puffy

because you guys are blowhards!

Up next, The Three Little Pigs

performed by the...

This is interesting...

Harper Triplets.

[all arguing]

Harper Triplets?

You three little pigs!

[all gasp]

I've built my house

of straw.

It's not very sturdy, but

I'll have lots of time to play.

Little Pig! Little Pig!

Let me come in.

[scoffs]

Nice wolf voice.

Not by the hair

of my chinny-chin-chin.

Well then I'll huff...

In a really good wolf voice--

And I'll puff...

Way better

than the previous puffer--

And I'll blow your house down!

You call that puffing?

The previous wolf

was way better.

How would you know,

Goldilocks?

You're not even

in the right fairy tale.

What'evs, pig boy!

Uh, what are they doing?

Making a mockery

of puppet season.

On the upside, everyone

loves the new theater.

This is just like

Goldilocks,

barging into a place

she doesn't belong.

Breaking chairs,

eating porridge,

and filling up the DVR

with the shows

the bears don't want

to watch.

I thought we were pigs.

Pigs, bears, brothers,

doesn't matter!

Living with you

is impossible!

Living with you

is impossible!

Uh...and scene.

Let's give it up

for the puppet stylings

of the Harper Family Players.

[applause]

- Uh--

Up next, Dawn and Mack

with more puppet fun,

and later, Pete Tibbals

will attempt

to stuff a bowling ball

in a tube sock.

[Ricky]

No, your fault!

[Dicky]

You totally embarrassed us!

[Nicky]

I hope you're happy.

[all arguing]

Stop it!

What is this all about?

[all]

She/They started it!

- Dawn, we're up.

[all]

Not now!

Whoa, what has gotten

into you guys?

Yeah, I thought you were

working together.

If we were really

working "together,"

they wouldn't always

vote against me.

We don't always

vote against you.

- I'm with Ricky.

- Me too.

See?

You don't even realize

you're doing it.

But we voted.

It's fair.

It may be fair,

but it's not right.

You know what's not right?

Not getting your way

and bailing on us.

And then replacing us

with Mack.

At least he listens to me.

And he's scary good

at puppets.

Yes, we know he's good.

But it's not about Mack.

You just made us mad.

We were upset because

we knew without you,

we had no chance

of winning.

And I knew I couldn't win

without you either.

I just wanted to be heard.

Well, then maybe we should try

and be better listeners.

All in favor of being

better listeners?

It's quad-nanimous.

Oh, we're so proud of you.

Mwah.

- Truth is, you never had

a shot anyway.

I mean,

look at that kid.

[Mack]

♪ Row row row your boat ♪

- ♪ Gently down the stream ♪

- ♪ Row row row your boat ♪

- ♪ Merrily, merrily... ♪

- ♪ Row row row your boat ♪

- ♪ Merrily, merrily... ♪

- ♪ Life is but a dream ♪

- ♪ Row row row your boat ♪

- ♪ Life is but a dream ♪

Man, that must be

one heck of a camp.

- ♪ ♪

- [whistling melody]

♪ ♪

- [vocalizing]

♪ Yeah ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪

- ♪