Original subtitles

Kids?

Anybody home?

Anybody?

Okay, new Goldie.

This is your home.

Full disclosure:

something bad did happen

to the previous tenant.

There we go.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- Hi, Dad.

- Nothing!

What's in your hand?

[scoffs]

Like I said, nothing.

What about the other hand?

[clears throat]

Nada.

I'm sold.

Let's see both hands.

Hey, Dad, jazz hands!

[screaming]

Aah!

Jazz hands!

I always fall for jazz hands.

- Goldie?

- Uh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

This is Goldie.

Why is he in a bag?

I was just taking him

for a walk.

He likes to see the koi pond

at the mall.

Dad.

Okay, I like to see

the koi pond at the mall.

Dad!

[sighs]

Fine.

Listen, sweetie,

I have to tell you something.

[clears throat]

Goldie swam

his last lap, kiddo.

And I didn't want

to upset you,

so I was just trying to

replace him before you got home.

So Goldie's really gone?

I forget.

Is this Goldie #7

or Goldie #8?

W-w-wait. Goldie's been gone

before?

Seven times?

Oh, right.

We're not supposed

to tell Dawn

about all the fish

that we flushed.

- W-w-w-wait.

You guys

all knew about this?

Since when?

Since Goldie #3.

Remember her?

[all sighing]

I cannot believe you guys.

How could you keep this

a secret from me?

'Cause we didn't

want you to feel bad.

And now you feel bad.

So we were right.

At least we have Goldie #8,

who'll live forever!

Uh, Dad...

We've got a floater.

He never even got to

see the koi pond.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na,

na-na ♪

- ♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

[laughter]

What are you chuckleheads

laughing about?

Let me guess.

It's a secret

and you can't tell me.

Oh, no,

it's not a secret.

We were just laughing

about how you didn't know

about all

those replacement Goldies!

[boys laughing]

I guess you had to be there.

And not be you.

Hey, quadalupes.

Since we had some problems with

Goldies 1 through 8,

I'd like you to meet, Mike.

Mike?

I don't know if

Mike's a bird name.

- [squawking]

Mike's a bird name.

See?

Sweet!

He talks.

- Doodie.

- Doodie.

[laughs]

He said doodie.

So is this the original Mike

or Mike #2?

- [squawks]

Number two.

[laughs]

He said number two.

We should've gotten this bird

six fish ago.

- Tom, you said you were going

to get a new fish.

Why does Goldie #9

have feathers?

And a beak?

And is not a fish?

His name is Mike, and before

you say anything negative, you

should know that I can't get my

money back.

Well, Mike is not staying

in our house.

- [squawks]

Pretty lady, pretty lady.

Oh.

But Michael can.

- Are these part of

your new clothing line, Mom?

They're awesome.

Thanks.

You kids inspired me.

You wear out your clothes

so quickly I wanted to make

something that could

stand up to the quadnado.

Ooh, I'm calling it...

HarperArmor.

I can't wait to rock it

at the fashion show.

What fashion show?

Mom's having a fashion show.

She is?

And we're going to be

the models.

We are?

We totally talked about this

at the sundae bar.

Whoa, whoa, wait.

Sundae bar?

Yeah, Dad always gets it for us

after we lose a goldfish.

all: Oh.

So we're going

to be models.

Some of us.

They're children's

clothes, Tom.

I'm just saying.

I'm no stranger

to the modeling game, man.

You were a foot model, Tom.

A "before" foot model.

My toe fungus paid for the power

windows in your minivan.

And I can still bring the heat

to the catwalk.

Check out my sizzle.

Judging by that walk,

I think his fungus is back.

I heard that.

So...a goldfish

and a fashion show?

Anything else I don't know?

Ooh, you forgot about

the sundae bar.

What happened to us?

We never had secrets

from each other.

We used to have

a circle of trust,

but now that's broken.

What we need

is a quadfession session.

What's a quadfession session?

- All right, boys.

The quadfession session

has officially begun.

Still don't know

what it is.

If we're going to

trust each other

we need to wipe the slate clean

and start over.

So we need to confess

our deepest, darkest secrets.

That'll make us even

and rebuild the circle of trust.

This is a waste of time.

We don't keep secrets

from each other.

Oh, yeah?

Every night at dinner,

when you're not looking,

Dicky takes a sip of your milk.

But you know I don't like

sharing glassware!

And that's why he does it.

He thinks it's funny.

And it is.

Yeah, well, Ricky, remember when

you "lost" your lucky ruler?

Leonardo Da Inchy?

Well, he's not lost.

- Dicky threw him away.

- What?

I tried to measure my tongue

and threw up on it.

Doesn't feel good to be lied to,

does it, Ricky?

No.

That's why we need this.

So don't hold back.

What's said in the circle

stays in the circle.

Trust each other.

Nicky, you're up.

Okay...

As you all know,

I have a very deep

bellybutton.

Well, I store raisins

in there.

For what?

It's a healthy snack

for when I'm on the go.

You have any in there now?

I have three regulars

and a golden.

Sometimes I like to close

my eyes and surprise myself.

Come on, golden.

Yes.

Wow.

All right, my turn.

[exhales slowly]

I'm a stress-knitter.

A what?

When I'm stressed out,

I knit.

Grandma taught me and

I've been doing it for years.

So any time you see

a sweater on the dog,

it came from

these very nervous hands.

You got skills, bro.

Okay, my turn.

[exhales heavily]

I still have

an imaginary friend.

His name is DJ.

He's a DJ.

And he plays oontzing music

only Dicky can hear.

That explains the headbobbing.

And the fist pumping.

And your math grade.

Okay, Dawn, you're up.

We all went.

Okay.

But you can't make fun of me.

You're safe in the circle.

[sighs]

Okay.

[exhaling heavily]

Here we go.

You guys know Mack?

I know I said I only

like him as a friend,

but I think I might actually

sorta like him-like him.

Wow.

That took a lot of guts.

Yeah.

Sure did.

Please let us

make fun of you, please.

Fine.

You've got five seconds.

[singsong]

all: Dawn loves Mack!

Dawn loves Mack!

Okay.

Time's up.

See?

Our circle of trust

has been restored.

Hey!

Starting now.

[laughs]

That may be the cutest little

knit-hat I have ever seen.

Where did you guys get it?

Pet store.

But it fits so perfectly.

Almost like it was hand-knit

just for his little bird head.

It's a hat, Josie.

Get over it.

Hey, Nicky,

I'm kinda hungry.

You got any 'sins

in your snack hole?

Pack your own snack hole.

That's cold, bro.

You know I'm an outie.

Best I can do is

an onion ring.

Honey, I know your clothes

are for kids.

- Because they are.

- But before you rule me out--

Already have.

Hey, kids, come here!

I need to measure you

for the show.

Hey, hey, check out

some of my runway skills, huh?

I give you Simon LeTom,

because I'm...

hungry like the wolf.

[barking, howling]

[screaming]

[thudding]

One of these days,

he's actually going to be hurt.

(Tom)

It's today!

Oh, oh!

- Hey, Dawn.

- Hey, Mack.

Do you know what chapter

Mr. Williams wanted us

to read for tomorrow?

[laughter]

Are they laughing at us?

all: Dawn loves Mack!

Dawn loves Mack!

That's funny.

My name's Mack.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, catch you later.

What are you doing?

Enjoying our sweaters.

I feel like

a sea captain!

I knitted those

in confidence.

They're not

"out-and-about" sweaters.

They're "relaxing at home in

the circle of trust" sweaters.

Dude, don't worry.

Your secret is safe.

No one's gonna break

the circle of trust.

All right, who broke

the circle of trust?

What are you talking about?

One of you little

sweater-wearing snitches

told my secret and now everyone

in the hallway's going...

[whispers]

"Dawn loves Mack."

- I didn't say anything.

- Me neither.

- Wasn't me.

Okay.

So no one's gonna admit it?

Well, unless someone

tells me...

You boys know

what a text blast is?

When you text

on the toilet?

No.

It's when I text everyone

in the school at the same time.

"Attention, everyone.

"Nicky Harper keeps raisins

in his bellybutton."

- "And eats them."

- [gasps]

"Dicky Harper's best friend

is a DJ..."

- "And is imaginary."

- [gasps]

"And Ricky Harper

is a strong knotter."

[gasps]

Wait, that's not

that bad.

"Stress-knitter."

Stupid autocorrect.

[gasps]

Okay.

Thumb's on send.

Last chance to admit

who did it.

Dawn, please don't.

Whoever did it, fess up.

- It wasn't me.

- Me either.

All right.

You made your choice.

- In 3, 2--

all: No!

[phone chimes]

[phones chiming]

[laughter]

Dude, how 'bout knitting up

a little raisin pouch

for your bro?

Oontz, oontz, oontz.

What have you done?

I never want to knit again.

And yet I need

to knit so badly.

And in case you're wondering,

DJ the DJ is playing

a very sad song.

[sadly]

Oontz...

Oontz...

[choking up]

Oontz.

Now you know how I feel.

What is a four-letter word for

a baseball pitcher's error?

[squawks]

Ball.

Ah, nice.

Hey, the fashion show is

coming together, Tom.

This could be, like,

really big for the store.

Turn that "could" into "will"

with "America's Next Tom Model."

Hey, Mike, will you tell Tom

he's not a model?

[squawks]

Not a model, not a model.

But I do need an emcee

for the show!

- Mike...

- [chirps]

Tell her I'm in.

[squawks]

I'm in.

Excuse us, Mike.

Just me, right?

Come help me get the clothing

racks out of the garage.

- Yes, I'm in.

- Leave the bird.

Pretty lady, pretty lady.

- I know that's you, Tom.

- [groans]

Dawn, I can't believe

you text blasted our secrets.

Yeah, the whole school

is laughing at us.

When you break the circle,

you get treated like a jerkle.

Mike, you would not

believe my day.

Thanks to one of

my blabbermouth brothers,

everyone at school

now knows that--

[singsong]

Dawn loves Mack.

Exactly!

Wait, what?

[squawks]

Dawn loves Mack.

(Mike)

Dawn loves Mack.

all: [singsong]

Dawn loves Mack.

Dawn loves Mack.

Oh, no.

And you were in the store

with the kids from school.

It was you!

You're the blabberbeak!

[boys yelling

in the next room]

[groans]

They're mad at me.

But I'll just explain it to them

and they'll understand.

Mm-hmm.

Circle of trust, she said.

Quadfession session, she said.

And now I've dropped a stitch!

I can't believe this.

Now everyone's

gonna think I'm weird.

And on top of that,

I'm out of raisins!

- This is all Dawn's fault.

- Yeah!

You know what?

Now that I think about it,

maybe it's not!

- Yeah!

Wait, what?

Dawn's the one who brought us

together.

She's the one who tried to fix

the circle of trust.

And everything was good,

till one of you two jerkles

broke it!

You mean one of you two jerkles!

No, one of you two jerkles!

Well, whichever jerkle broke

the circle is out of the quads!

[all snarling]

Yeah, I'm not so sure

they'll understand.

This is so exciting, Tom.

I am so proud of you.

Break a leg.

You too.

Ooh!

[laughs]

[clears throat]

Welcome aboard, fashion-gers.

This is your pilot speaking.

So go ahead and fashion

your seat belts

because HarperArmor

is about to take off!

What are you doing?

I'm just trying to

find my fashion show voice.

Now?

Right before the show?

Up on that catwalk,

I know who I am.

Down here, I'm just a guy

with a microphone.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Hey, pull yourself together,

Tom.

[in a German accent]

How about I try

a German accent?

No!

No accents.

Ugh, this is my show.

Okay, Josie, two minute warning.

Copy that, Mrs. Harper.

Um, what's up

with your brothers?

[growling and grunting]

Nothing!

Like all supermodels,

they're just hungry.

I hope that's all that is,

'cause your Mom put

a lot of work into this show.

Hey, fellas.

Look what I've got.

It's a circle of crust.

So let's stop fighting

and start biting.

- [growling]

- No, no, no, no!

Not each other!

[Jamaican accent]

Hey, mons and lady mons!

Dis be da debut of

Anne Harper's HarperArmor!

Active wear for da boys

and da girls.

- You're done, mon.

- Move up.

They're about to start.

Don't poke me.

That's not poking.

This is poking.

Oh, you want to poke.

Hey!

Why do I get poked?

[grunts]

- Hey, guys!

I thought maybe we could

start all over again.

I have a quadfession to make.

So...look what I brought!

Okay, so--

Great idea!

[gong reverberates loudly]

[laughter]

First up,

we have Dicky Harper.

Dicky's ensemble works

just as well on the field

as it does in the classroom.

That's classic HarperArmor

versatility.

Next we have Ricky Harper,

dressed in sporting casual wear.

Ricky's ready to go

from athlete to mathlete.

And since it's water resistant,

he could also be a bath-lete.

Whatever Ricky chooses,

this outfit is an A+.

And now let's bring out

Nicky Harper.

Ooh!

In this casual skater look,

Nicky is ready

to hit the halfpipe...

And not his brother.

(Anne)

See, folks, this is

where style meets function

at the HarperArmor junction.

Guys, listen,

I have to tell you something.

Not now, Dawn.

And now, one last time,

HarperArmor for him.

I'm first.

[grunting]

I'm first. Trust me.

I don't trust you.

I don't trust

either of you.

What are they doing?

- No!

- What is she doing?

Don't be alarmed, folks.

(Anne)

This is just a demonstration

to show just how durable

HarperArmor is.

Man, that stuff's a-durable.

[cheers and applause]

Please!

Guys, please stop fighting.

You're interrupting

our triangle of hate.

It's like

the circle of trust,

but it can jab you

from all three sides.

I was the one who broke

the circle of trust!

You're the jerkle?

Yes, I'm the jerkle.

all: Huh.

Get her!

Now what do I do?

All my models are gone.

Not all of them.

You get out there

and show them your sizzle.

As you can see, HarperArmor

is so versatile

that even a grown man can fit

into a boy's size medium.

It's a small.

[cheers and applause]

So it was you who broke

the circle of trust?

Yes.

It was me.

- [squawks]

It was me.

It was me.

- Well, technically

he's right.

Mike told everybody about Mack,

but I didn't know it

until after I text blasted

your secrets.

I should've trusted you.

I'm sorry.

Doesn't matter.

The damage is done.

Our secrets are out there

running wild.

Not for long.

What are you doing?

A text blast got us

into this, so...

maybe one will get us out.

[sighs]

"Attention, everyone...

"I was mad at my brothers,

"so I made up

all those things about them.

"The only Harper secret

that is true is...

Yes, I do like-like Mack."

Dawn, you don't

have to do that.

- Yeah, she does.

- She totally does.

[phone chimes]

[phones chiming]

Oh.

[laughs]

A girl likes you.

What's that like?

- Thanks.

- Is the circle of trust

repaired?

All four corners.

Good enough.

Now let's bring this home.

[cheers and applause]

Mom, come on up.

Come on, please.

- Come on!

- Come on, Mom!

- And 3, 2, 1!

- ♪ ♪

- [whistling melody]

♪ ♪

- [vocalizing]

♪ Yeah ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪

- ♪