Original subtitles

♪

Hey, what'd you guys get

for number two?

- I got four.

- I drew a head.

Well, my life

is officially over.

My whole class saw...

"it."

[all gasp]

But you've always been

so careful with it.

And always made sure

to hide it.

And yet,

there it was.

[laughs]

You carry around

a stuffed animal?

[laughter]

Lieutenant Blue Beary

is not just a stuffed animal.

[scoffs]

I mean...

no.

[laughter]

So that's it.

I'm giving up Blue Beary.

Yeah, right. He's helped you get

straight As on every test since

pre-K.

You can't give him up.

Well, I can give him up

easier than you can give up

taking a bath

with your little rubber duck.

I don't need to take a bath

with Ducky,

I choose to.

I enjoy our talks.

You talk to him like this,

"Quack, quack, quack, quack."

Yeah.

He's a duck.

And what about you,

Mitten Man?

You still sleep with your

baby mittens on your fingers

and then rub your cheeks

and your earlobes.

- I don't rub the lobes anymore.

Just the cheeks.

- Lobes and cheeks?

What did I walk in on?

[sighs] These guys still have

their security items

from when they

were babies.

Kids.

Oh, you mean,

security thingies

like this?

That is a sweat towel

for soccer.

Then why does it say,

"Dawn's Blanky?"

Hey, guys,

your childhood

security items are nothing to

be embarrassed about.

When I was a kid,

I had a Princess Suzie doll

until one day

she was sunbathing,

and my dad ran her over

with our lawn mower.

She was always there for me.

[sobs]

But I wasn't there for her!

[singsongy]

Issues.

[sighs]

Wow.

Glad I'm not that attached

to Blanky.

What do you mean?

You couldn't go a day

without Blanky.

And you three

couldn't go an hour

without your little

security thingies.

Care to make it interesting?

Whoever can go the longest

without their bear, duck,

blanket or mittens gets to have

the others do their chores

for a month.

Who's in?

[scoffs]

Easy.

Get ready to do my chores,

losers.

You mean mine.

[sighs]

You don't stand a chance.

The contest is on.

Or should I say

Quadtest.

I was just gonna

say that!

Dang it!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

♪ One, two, three, four ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na,

na-na ♪

- ♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four ♪

- ♪ Na, na-na ♪

[upbeat music]

- Okay, your mother and I

will keep your

security items

in this locked trunk

for the duration

of the Quadtest,

and we'll check on them

every day to make sure there's

no cheatsies.

Oh, you've had these things

since you were babies,

so if at any point,

you want them back,

you just come and ask

one of us.

But you will be

eliminated.

- Any point,

just ask.

- Eliminated.

- They get it, Tom.

They hired me

to be tough, Anne.

No one hired you.

You followed us

up here.

Just open the trunk.

Fine.

- So long, Lefty and Righty.

Thanks for warming my hands

and my heart.

[kisses]

You be good, now.

[sighs]

You were always there for me,

Blanky.

Now it's time for me

to tuck you in.

Sweet dreams.

Be brave.

Quack, quack, quack?

Quack.

You've served me well,

Lieutenant.

At ease.

♪ And I--I ♪

- Stop it.

- I'm sorry.

I'm just so sad.

[sighs]

- Who wants soup?

- Yeah, let's go.

- Yeah.

- Soup sounds good.

- I'm actually pretty

proud of them.

It's hard to let go

of things.

Yeah.

You know, maybe we should

let go of a few things.

[chuckles]

This is a mess.

Ooh.

Well, how about we start

by getting rid of that old noise

box?

Maybe there's a different

old noise box that needs to be

gotten rid of.

Tom.

What?

I mean that one over there.

I use Squeezie

all the time.

[plays discordant chord]

Jeez. The last time you used

that thing was for your failed

Italian wedding band, That's

Tom-more.

[coughs]

I would not

say failed.

We booked two weddings and one

very meshugenah bar mitzvah.

Uh-huh.

But since you want to

get rid of stuff,

how about your old

waffle maker?

Well, how about...

this ridiculous

motorcycle getup?

Let's not be throwing

"ridiculous" around

when you still have

a hair crimper.

Hey,

crimping's coming back, dude.

Don't--

[plays note]

This is mine.

Seriously, Tom?

You're hurting Squeezie.

♪ ♪

- Nicky, we're all waiting

in the car.

We're gonna be late

for school.

- I'm up.

I'm up.

I'm just doing some

close-eyed thinking

about how you're gonna be

doing all my chores.

Or were you having trouble

last night sleeping

without your little

baby mittens?

You know what would

fix that?

Your little

baby mittens.

It's only a matter

of time, Nicky.

[singsongy]

♪ You know you want them ♪

Nice try, Dawn,

but I'm not gonna cave.

I'm totally fine.

♪ ♪

Aw, dude,

you reek.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

I'm talking about you being

afraid to have a bath

without your duck.

No, I meant what does

"reek" mean?

Oh.

Hey, Molly,

look, I might be bad

at math,

but one thing

I do know is,

you and I add up.

[sniffs]

You reek.

What is this,

Make Up a Word Day?

It means you stink.

[sniffs]

Ooh.

That's got to sting.

[gasps]

Release the quacken.

Quack, quack.

[woman]

All righty, everyone,

I hope you came prepared.

Good luck on your tests.

[Ricky voice-over]

All right, you do do this.

It's not like Lieutenant

Blue Beary took the tests.

You did.

Now just sharpen your pencil

and breathe.

[pencil sharpener whirring]

[crunching]

Don't panic!

Calm down.

You can do this.

Okay, name.

Easy.

Ricky Blue Beary--

No!

Ahh!

[Dicky]

Hey, Ricky,

it's me,

Lieutenant Blue Beary.

Admit it, you need--

Ow. Paper cut.

[woman]

All right, Harper,

You've been playing

really well lately.

I'm thinking about

starting you.

Let's see what you got.

Bring it on, Coach.

[whistle blows]

[Dawn voice-over]

Whoo.

Here we go, Dawn.

You don't need Blanky.

Just focus and--

whoa.

That came in hot.

Ah, come on.

You got this.

That came in hotter!

Blanky, I need you!

Ahh!

[whistle blows]

What happened, Dawn?

Jordan, get in here.

Good thing you're just

the backup.

♪ ♪

[door squeaks]

Well,

somebody's looking good.

Oh, you like my hair?

[chuckles]

You leathered.

You crimped.

Hey, you left your phone out.

Might want to put that

in your pocket.

Ah, of course.

That's where phones go.

[strains]

Ah ha.

[strains]

[ring tone sounding]

Aren't you gonna get that?

No.

I'm just gonna press ignore.

[ringtone stops]

[woman on phone]

Tommy, is that you?

- Hi, Mom.

- [chuckles]

[woman on phone]

Is that Anne's laugh I hear?

Ah, ah, why yes,

it is Annie's laugh you hear.

Annie,

why don't you come

and say hi to mother?

Hi, Trish.

[Trish]

Did you get the sweaters

I sent for the kids?

- Ooh.

- Uh, yeah.

I did.

Listen, we may lose you.

Ouch!

I think the waffles

are done.

Oh.

It's a professional, fully

functioning waffle maker, Tom.

- Hmm.

- It'll ding when it's done.

- Sure.

- Mm-hmm.

Ding!

Ooh. There it is.

[all arguing]

Hey, hey, kids.

How's the old

Quadtest going?

Well, I feel great

without my Blanky.

And I haven't thought twice

about that bear.

And Dicky, we can all smell

how you're doing.

What are you talking about?

I smell fine.

If I smelled bad,

I'd take a bath.

Hi, boy.

[dog whimpering]

[dog barks]

[humming]

I'm out!

both: What?

I'm out of the Quadtest.

Sweet!

You dropped out

'cause of the website.

What website?

Dude,

you fell asleep so much

at school yesterday,

kids started taking

pictures of you.

And posting them on

PutStuffOnNicky.com

I dropped out 'cause

lack of sleep is unhealthy.

[gasps]

This is terrible!

And then there were three.

Soon to be just me.

I'm not gonna rhyme,

but you guys should take me

very serious...ly.

Oh, I did rhyme!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[school bell rings]

Ricky,

can I talk to you a minute?

So I graded your test

and for the first time ever,

I had to use...

the red pen.

[gasps]

You know, your brother

bit a hole in his test

and he got a better grade

than you.

[gasps louder]

You know that this test is worth

50% of your grade, right?

Yes, I do.

Well, you know what? Since

you're normally such a good

student,

I'm going to let

you retake it.

[gasps]

Thank you, Mrs. Harvell!

But you only get

one retake.

Okay, whatever grade

you get this time

is final.

If I were you, bro,

I'd go back to the bear

before you ruin your life.

So, Dicky, I just found out

we're gonna be lab partners.

Sweet!

Lab partner hug.

This is the problem,

I want to be

your lab partner,

but until you stop smelling

like a big bag of farts,

that's not happening.

If I were you, bro,

I'd go back to the duck

before you ruin your life.

Beautiful morning,

huh, guys?

Since I got Lefty

and Righty back,

life smells sweet.

[sniffs]

Gimme those.

I need to smell sweet.

Oh! You reek!

- Ow! My ankle.

- Can you put any weight on it,

Jordan?

- [strains]

No, I don't think so.

Well, Harper, whatever was

wrong with you in practice

better get fixed by Friday.

You're starting against

the Mustangs.

Ooh, bad time to be in

a contest, huh?

I wish I had advice

to help you play better,

but I'm drawing

a Blanky.

I also drew a Blanky.

You'd be a better goalie

if you had your Bl--

Ow! Same cut.

♪ ♪

[Anne]

Okay, quadtestants,

who's ready

for waffle burgers?

[quack]

I'm out.

both: What?

What happened?

Two words:

big bag of farts.

So I'm out of the the Quadtest,

which means I'm in

as Molly's new lab partner.

Totally worth it.

And then there were two.

Have fun doing

my chores.

We'll just see about that.

Yeah, we--

[Italian music playing]

Do you guys hear that music?

♪ ♪

[Tom]

Bring it home. Bring it home.

Yeah!

Whoo!

Tom.

- Hmm?

- What's going on?

Oh, I just got

That's Tom-more back together.

You remember Vito and Alfredo?

Steve, Lenny.

Anyway, we'll be practicing our

accordion-based music all night.

Oh, why don't I throw

a couple of waffle pizzas

in the oven for you?

Ah, pizza.

Gee, gentlemen,

that sounds nice.

Two! Three! Four!

all: ♪ A pizza, pizza,

pizza, pizza ♪

♪ Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza ♪

♪ Mangia, mangia ♪

♪ Love-a the pizza, yay ♪

♪ I love-a the pizza

from here to San Jose ♪

♪ From Washington

to Delaware ♪

♪ And all the way

to Tampa Bay ♪

♪ That's the way

we eat the pizza ♪

all: ♪ In the U.S.A. ♪

[Tom]

Oh, my.

♪ ♪

Worried about your

super important,

make or break,

potential life-ruining

makeup test

that's 50% of your grade?

I would be.

No, but I bet you're worried

about your big game tomorrow.

I heard the Mustangs

are the highest scoring team

in Colorado.

Those girls have thighs

like actual mustangs.

Wouldn't it be weird if Dicky

got a better grade than you

and Mom put his test on the

fridge instead of yours?

Nice try, Dawn,

but I'm not gonna cave.

It's just one test.

[Dawn]

Just one test, huh?

I wonder what celebrated

science educator Science Bob

would say about failing

just one test?

[singsongy]

Science Bob.

Hello.

Celebrator science educator

Science Bob?

What are you doing here?

Ricky, your sister told me

about your math test,

and I want you to know that

I didn't become Science Bob

by taking just one test

for granted,

especially one that was 50%

of my grade.

So you got to think about

your future, Ricky,

and don't waste it over

some silly competition.

Wake the bear.

That's really good advice.

I really appreciate it.

No problem.

Now, on to

more important things.

Uh, where are

your Stair Climbers?

I'm thinking about becoming

a slightly hunkier Bob.

Up the stairs to the left.

Up the...stairs.

Uh, yeah.

Never mind.

That was cute, Dawn,

but Science Bob isn't the only

one with good advice.

There's someone here who would

like to talk to you.

Alex!

Alex Morgan?

No way!

Hey, Dawn.

Rick emailed me about

your big game tomorrow

and how you'd rather

let your team down

than lose the Quadtest.

I--well, it's a little more

complicated than that, but--

You think I made it to the

U.S. Women's National Team

by letting my teammates down?

I'm gonna guess no.

Good answer, Rick. Make the

right play, Dawn.

Speaking of plays,

have you guys seen

Science Bob?

He was supposed to take me

to see Wicked.

Without Blanky,

you'll tanky.

Nice try,

but it didn't work.

- I'm still not gonna cave!

- Me neither!

Excuse me, where can I find

your T-ball bats?

- Oh--

[boy screams]

Excuse me,

can you do me a favor?

[Trish on phone]

Tommy, what's wrong?

[clears throat]

Nothing, Mom!

I just butt-dialed you.

I'm gonna hang up now.

Can you just press

my right cheek?

It's not what you're-- I just

have a hard time hanging up with

my Mom.

Mom, can we go to

Get Sporty-er?

Okay, this has gone too far.

We're scaring customers.

You win,

you made your point.

You can keep your accordion

and your leathers.

I'm not making a point,

Anne, I'm--

I'm stuck.

This leather's so tight,

it's fused with my body.

I can't tell where leather

stops and Tom begins.

Then why are you carrying

your accordion?

It's stuck to my zipper.

I'm a wreck, Anne!

Me too, Tom.

Our entire house smells like

burnt hair and charred waffles.

I'll throw away my attic trash

if you do.

Deal.

[both sigh]

[accordion plays chord]

Oh, come on.

♪ ♪

[exhales]

[dog barks]

What?

I can't let my teammates down.

I'm just gonna borrow Blanky

for the Mustang game

and put her back

before anyone finds out.

[exhales]

Ahh!

This is not what it looks like.

Looks like you cheated.

You can't prove that!

You're in the trunk

holding the bear.

How do you know

he's not holding me?

You're eliminated!

Yes!

It doesn't matter.

You cheated too!

You're eliminated.

All right, fine.

Either we're both eliminated,

or...

you take Blue Beary,

and I take Blanky,

we use them tomorrow and

put them back without Nicky

and Dicky ever finding out.

I would say we never

said any of this.

Said any of what?

Just to be clear,

we are making a deal right now,

right?

Yes.

Now, let's get you

out of there.

[door creaks open]

Or you in here!

[dog barks]

Shh!

I threw everything else away.

I just couldn't cut the chord.

Okay.

Here we go.

What's he doing?

Shh!

Just stay quiet.

Huh.

I thought I locked this.

Come on, buddy.

What was that?

Dad's going down

the stairs.

No, the click

before that.

Oh, that.

He totally locked us in.

[banging on trunk]

Okay, don't panic.

I know exactly

what to do.

Somebody help!

We're stuck in here!

Help!

[muffled shouting]

[Ricky]

Get your butt out of my face!

[Dawn]

Get your face out of my butt!

[muffled shouting and banging]

- What is that noise?

[banging]

[strains]

[both groaning]

[singsongy]

♪ Hey, guys ♪

This isn't

what it looks like.

It looks like

you're cheating.

[gasps]

Run!

Whoa!

[groans]

Look at us.

What are we doing?

None of us won.

I mean, we couldn't

last three days

without our bear, duck,

blanket, or mittens.

We obviously

still need them.

The Quadtest

was a bad idea.

Yeah, as long as our stuff

makes us happy,

who cares what

other people think?

- Yeah, you're right.

- I agree.

But let's still not tell

other people.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Totally.

Who wants soup?

[all]

♪ Soup, soup, soup, soup,

soup, soup, soup, soup ♪

♪ I love-a soup

from bisque to consommé ♪

♪ From navy bean to lima bean ♪

♪ And every bean along the way ♪

♪ That's the way

we eat the soup ♪

♪ In the U.S.A ♪

[upbeat music]

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪