Original subtitles

- Hey, Josie.

A strawberry smoothie for me,

and for my little

furry friend here,

a can of your finest meat.

- [barking]

- Make that two cans.

- Aw, look who got

a new dog tag.

So you guys finally agreed

on a name?

- Yep. My brothers

just don't know it yet.

- Won't they notice?

- Please, they never notice

anything.

- I notice something.

- I notice it too.

- Me too.

Mom and Dad totally redid

the cafe.

- We're talking

about the dog tag.

It better say

his name is, "Chip."

- You mean, "Tiny Elvis."

- The tag should say, "Gary."

- Too late, fellas.

The tag has spoken.

His name is, "Squishy Paws."

- No, it's not.

[all arguing]

- Guys!

Guys!

Guys!

All your arguing

is upsetting him.

Look, he's even doing

his sad-tail thing.

- Josie's right.

All this arguing

is upsetting...

Chip!

[all arguing]

- So...

I hear we have a petty thief

making his way around town.

Let me tell you,

Mr. Boulder Bandit.

You better think twice

before you hit my store,

'cause I've got eyes...

in the sky.

- Hey, Tom?

Were you expecting

a T-shirt delivery?

- I'll ask the questions

around here.

And, yes.

Yes, I was.

Does it look a little something

like this?

- Uh, no, they look

a little more like this.

- What? No, no!

I sent them the picture

of me wearing the T-shirt

as an example.

They weren't supposed to put me

on the shirt.

- Well, I guess

you could just return them.

- [clears throat]

Hoo, wow.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You did make sure they had

a return policy

before you ordered

6,000, right?

- I told you...

I'll ask the questions

around here.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I-I'm going to go call

and ask that question.

[all arguing]

- [barks]

[barking]

- [screaming]

Get him off!

Get him off!

- He caught the Boulder Bandit.

Squishy Paws is a hero!

- Chip's a hero!

- Good job, Tiny Elvis.

- The hero is Gary!

[all cheering]

- Well, looks

like someone's having a...

"ruff" day.

[screaming]

- [barking]

- Ah! Ah!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- [whistling melody]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na,

na-na ♪

- ♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- Squishy, before you watch

yourself on the news, look!

Someone sent you

a dozen long-stemmed "boneses."

- He sure doesn't have

sad tail now.

Eat up, little hero.

- I can't believe the Harpers

are going to be on TV.

- And I can't believe I'm here

with a celebrity.

- I'm just a boy

from Boulder, Liv.

- Oh, I just want

to snuggle him.

- Ladies, ladies,

tonight was supposed to be

about the dog.

- Anne, our T-shirt problems

are solved.

- Oh, they took them back?

- Better--

I went to a different shop

and made these.

What do you have

to say now, Anne?

- Oh, Tom.

- [gasps]

It's coming on!

- Oh!

- Veronica Miller,

Channel 6 News,

moments after the Boulder Bandit

was apprehended.

But the real story is, by whom.

Would you believe

this underdog?

- [barks]

- Oh.

[all clapping]

- I know him!

Aw, I know him!

- But the story

doesn't end there.

Turns out the owners

of this hero dog

are none other than

the Harper quadruplets.

- I know them!

I know them!

- Remember that quad-orable

little foursome?

- Aww.

- They were the pride

of Boulder--

so sweet and cuddly.

How did it go

so horribly wrong?

- Nicky,

Ricky,

Dicky,

and Dawn.

- What's happening?

- Watch what happened when

I asked them a simple question.

It was nothing short of a...

quad-tastrophe.

So tell us, what is the name

of this courageous dog?

- It's Squishy Paws!

- No, Veronica, it's Chip.

- Don't listen to them.

It's Tiny Elvis.

- The dog is a Gary.

[all arguing]

- One dog, four names.

The Harper kids have gone

from quad-orable...

[echoing]

to quad-horrible.

But the one

who suffers most here

shall remain...

nameless.

- She made us look

like animals.

- Who can't take care

of animals.

- Come on,

we didn't look that bad.

Right, guys?

- Uh, I've got to go return

a library book.

- I have to buy envelopes.

- Oh, I'm just uncomfortable.

- Relax, it's only

a few friends.

[all murmuring disapprovingly]

Relax, it's only a store full

of customers.

- It's not just them.

You've gone viral.

Everyone's calling you

"The Horrible Harpers."

- Is that a lot of hits?

18 comma 0, 0, 0, comma,

0, 0--

- Yes, Dicky, it's a lot.

- Maybe Dad should be selling

"Horrible Harper" T-shirts.

- Step right up, folks!

Get your "hero dog" T-shirts.

[chuckles] Be the first person

on your block to buy one.

Be the first person

at your school to buy one.

- Or just be the first person

to buy one.

- Why aren't they buying them?

- Because we're

the horrible parents

of The Horrible Harpers.

- We're the horrible kids

of the horrible parents

of The Horrible Harpers.

- You could've just said

we're The Horrible Harpers.

- And we could've just called

the dog Tiny Elvis!

- Gary!

- Chip!

- Hold on!

If a news story got us

into this,

maybe a different one

could get us out.

"Quaddle" up.

Actually, that was the plan,

sorry for the false "quaddle."

- Okay, this better be good.

What's the big juicy story

you called me down here for?

- We want you to do

another segment on us

so we can be

The Quad-orable Harpers again.

- We're not bad dog owners.

- Yeah, we adopted him

from the pound.

That's good, right?

- Wow.

I just took an open-eyed nap.

Sorry, kids, but that's not

newsworthy.

That's snooze-worthy.

Veronica Miller,

Channel 6 News.

- Wait.

We shouldn't be punished

just because we couldn't decide

between Chip, Gary,

Squishy Paws, and Tiny Elvis.

- His name is none

of those ridiculous things.

It's Lord Timothy.

All:

"Lord Timothy"?

- Who are you?

- I am the dog's

rightful owner,

and I've come to retrieve him

from The Horrible Harpers.

- Now, that's newsworthy.

Okay.

Veronica Miller,

Channel 6 News.

Hero dog update.

Someone

has just stepped forward

claiming to be

his rightful owner.

Your name?

- Eleanor Dumont.

Lord Timothy

disappeared after a fire

at my country home

during the high lake season.

So you can imagine my surprise

when I saw him

on your news program.

- She's lying!

- [gasps]

- Yeah, she just wants

our hero dog.

- Hey, everybody calm down.

We'll handle this.

- I'm sorry, ma'am, but you

can't just walk out of here

with our kids' dog.

But you can walk out of here

with his adorable face

on this handsome T-shirt!

- Naturally, I have come

with the appropriate

documentation.

- Paperwork, really?

Anyone can fake paperwork.

- Yeah.

I fake paperwork all the time.

I'm not

an actual real estate agent.

I just use my fake card

to impress the ladies.

- You spelled "real"

and "estate" incorrectly.

- But I spelled

my number right.

Call me.

- If you're really his owner,

then what does the birthmark

on his stomach look like?

- The Mona Lisa.

- She's right.

- Of course I'm right.

- Kids, I'm sorry, but he does

seem to be her dog.

- Of course he's my dog.

- Lord Timothy!

Andiamo!

- He's fluent in Italian.

Oh, I can't thank

you children enough.

If it hadn't been

for your bickering,

I never would have seen

Lord Timothy on the news,

and he wouldn't be going home

with me right now.

Ta.

- Well, there you have it.

Guess every dog

does have his day.

- [laughs]

That was good.

- Veronica Miller,

Channel 6 News.

Huh, turned out to be big

and juicy after all.

Ta.

- Now I know

what sad tail feels like.

- I miss petting Chip.

- I miss playing

with Tiny Elvis.

- [whimpering]

- Guys! Help!

Does--does any of this match?

Squishy used

to help me get dressed.

One bark meant,

"You are rocking that."

two meant,

"Total fashion disaster."

- In that case,

woof, woof.

- I knew it.

I'm lost without him.

- Hey, guys.

Tough morning?

- We really miss the dog, Dad.

- Yeah, it's not the same

without him.

- I wish we hadn't fought

so much.

- Look, I know this is hard,

but you got to figure out a way

to put the dog

out of your mind.

Now, I'm not going

to hound you, but--

- "Hound"?

Too soon, Dad.

- Sorry, kiddo.

It just slipped out.

I'm gonna fetch you up

some "barkfast."

Breakfast.

It's the leash I can do.

Wow!

What is wrong with me?

Who wants beagles?

Bagels!

Doggone it.

Ah!

I'm just going to walk out

with my tail between my legs.

Stop it!

"Fleas" forgive me!

I said "fleas"!

Bad Tom! Bad Tom!

- Oh, hey. Care to explain

our new bath towels, Tom?

- Oh, well, I figured why take

a bath on the shirts when we can

take a bath with the shirts.

See where you see failure,

I see opportunity.

- Well, at least it wasn't

a bedspread or curtains.

Ugh.

Bad Tom. Bad Tom.

- Maybe it will help take

our minds off the dog

if we watch TV.

- Veronica Miller,

Channel 6 News.

Hero dog update.

- Not cool, TV.

- At least we get

to see him again.

- We're here

at the Dumont Mansion

checking in with Lord Timothy

after his rescue

from The Horrible Harpers.

And rest assured,

our hero dog is now living

the life of luxury

he so richly deserves.

- Hey, look,

he has his sad tail.

- And there.

- Maybe he misses us

as much as we miss him.

- We need to visit him

and try to cheer him up.

- She lives by the golf course

in Boulderly Hills.

We can walk there.

- Let's go.

- Boulderly Hills

is pretty fancy.

You sure you want to go out

looking all "woof, woof"?

- Just let's go.

[doorbell rings]

- Oh.

Well, if it isn't

Nicky, Ricky, Dicky,

and the one that doesn't rhyme.

- Hi. We're sorry

to bother you.

We were wondering

if we could visit Lord Timothy?

- Very well.

Walk this way.

Wait in here while I inform

Ms. Dumont of your visit.

- This place is awesome.

At least Tiny Elvis

is living large.

- Wow.

Guess she really likes dogs.

- Guys?

Why would Ms. Dumont have

a dog fur on the wall?

- And a dog skeleton?

- And a doggie cookbook?

- Aah!

The horror!

Ah, there he is.

- Ms. Dumont is a real-life

Cruella de Vil.

- She's gonna turn Chip

into a fur coat.

- And then she's going to serve

Gary for dinner.

- Someone's coming.

Act normal.

- Presenting Lord Timothy,

fresh from the bath.

- Squishy Paws.

- Chip.

- Tiny Elvis.

- Gary.

- Ms. Dumont is granting you

five minutes alone.

- [barking]

- I know,

I'm a total fashion disaster.

"Quaddle" up!

- Wait.

Is the a real "quaddle"?

- Because "quaddle" me once...

- Just get in here.

We need to sneak Squishy Paws

out of here

before he ends up on a wall.

- Or on a menu.

- Where do you think you're

going with Lord Timothy?

All: Aah!

- She's a butcher!

- Stop them!

All: Aah!

- He's a butler!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

All: Aah!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Study!

- We need to find a way

out of here.

- Squishy, do you know a way?

- [barks]

- Sweet, Tiny Elvis.

- Come on, come on.

Go, go, go, go.

- Whoa.

- Yes!

We did it.

We saved him.

All: Aah!

- How did she get here?

- I bet the butler did it!

- I did.

I drove her here.

- What were you kids thinking?

You can't just take her dog.

- She was going to turn

Squishy Paws into a fur coat.

- Oh, come on, he's barely big

enough for a vest.

Earmuffs, maybe.

- It's true, Dad!

She has dog furs

and dog skeletons at her house!

- And a dog cookbook!

She was gonna make mutt-loaf

out of Gary.

- And she was dressed like

a butcher.

- Oh. I was only dressed

that way

because I was bathing

Lord Timothy.

- Then what about your little

doggy chamber of doom?

- I can see why you might think

these things.

But I would never hurt a dog.

I am a canine historian.

And the things that you saw

were ancient artifacts--

wolf pelts worn by hunters,

the skeleton

of an extinct species,

and a cookbook of recipes

made for dogs,

not out of dogs.

- I think you kids owe

Ms. Dumont an apology.

- Do we? Do we?

- Pretty sure we do, Dicky.

- Oh.

Then sorry, Ms. Dumont.

- Yeah, we're really sorry.

- It's all right.

I know that you were just

looking out

for Lord Timothy's welfare.

And as much as it pains me,

it's time to say good-bye.

- Guess this is it,

Squishy Paws.

- Good-bye, Chip.

- I'm gonna miss you, Gary.

- High paw, Tiny Elvis.

- I meant it's time for me

to say good-bye.

All: What?

- When I first saw

the news report,

I thought that you didn't care

about him.

But when you thought

that he was in danger

and you risked so much

to save him,

well, now I know

that I was wrong.

And judging

from his happy tail,

he cares about you too.

This is his new home now.

- Yes.

- Thank you so much, Ms. Dumont!

- Thank you!

- Thank you so much!

- Yes!

- Thank you, Ms. Dumont.

- Oh, you're so welcome.

- I'm really sorry I poked

holes in your painting.

- What?

- Nothing.

- We promise to give

this little guy a good home.

- Oh.

- Maybe we should start

by finally agreeing on his name.

- And no fighting this time.

- How are we gonna do that?

- Veronica Miller,

Channel 6 News,

reporting live

on the final chapter

in our hero dog story.

Yesterday the quibbling quads

couldn't decide on a name.

But today they came to a...

Quad-promise.

They will let the dog decide!

Five bowls, five names,

one decision.

- Okay, buddy.

Go pick your name!

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

presenting...

All: Squishy Paws!

[cheers and applause]

- [barks]

♪ ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- [cheerful melody]

- ♪