Original subtitles

All right,

four PBJs,

three with no crust

for the boys,

and one weirdly with extra crust

for Dawn.

What?

I like to make crustaches.

I give you

Sir Isaac Gluten.

[applause]

Hey, guys, your dad and I

have to work late,

so Tanya is gonna pick you up

and babysit you tonight.

[all groaning]

Come on.

Not Tootin' Tanya.

Hey, she can't help

that she makes those sounds.

Those aren't the only

sounds she makes.

She's got a clicky ankle,

a poppy knee,

and there's always something

sloshing around in there.

[both shivering]

And she has underarm hairs.

That's acceptable

in some cultures, buddy.

In a plastic bag?

She knits things from it.

[all shivering]

Sorry, kids, but Tanya

is the only one

who can survive

the quad-nado.

Remember Pushover Paige?

Are you sure this is

what your parents meant

by "Sundae dinner?"

- [growling]

- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Or Easily

Hypnotized Harry?

You will take us

to the movies.

I will take you

to the movies.

Ooh!

And buy us popcorn.

Oh, and buy you

popcorn.

Sorry, kids, but you're

stuck with Tanya.

You will not let Tanya

babysit us.

Yeah, that doesn't work

on us.

Honey, I don't think we

should let Tanya babysit them.

- Tom.

You will change the light bulb

on the front porch.

[exhales deeply]

You're getting Tanya.

I have to go buy

a light bulb.

- Uh-oh, I recognize

that snap, crackle, slosh.

Good news!

Tanya's in the hizzle housie.

Better news.

I shave!

And knit cap for everyone.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[all]

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

- ♪ ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR! ♪

[all]

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[man]

♪ NA, NA, NA, NA, NA-NA ♪

♪ NA, NA, NA, NA,

NA-NA ♪

- ♪ ONE, TWO ♪

- ♪ NA, NA, NA ♪

[man]

♪ ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR! ♪

Wow, look who's

finally awake.

How was your night

with Tanya?

We were up

half the night.

She sang us lullabies.

Well, that's sweet.

About all the things

they put in sausage.

There's more horn

than you would think.

Nicky, as you know,

I am always on a quest

to improve the products

I sell.

You see this

inflatable raft?

Normally, it would take

a whole 20 seconds

for it to inflate.

Who's got the time?

Exactly!

That's why

I have created

the world's fastest

inflatable raft.

This baby inflates

in just one second.

Come on.

It can't be that fast.

[air blowing, thumping]

Oh, come on.

How come I never get

to fly in?

Anne, I have terrible news--

Oh, there he is.

Ooh, eggs and bacie.

Here you go, sweetie.

No, thanks.

I'm still full from Tanya's

smelt fish casserole.

I thought she made

beef casserole.

She did,

but it smelt like fish.

Well, there will be

plenty more fishy meat.

Your mother and I

are going out this Saturday

and Tanya is

watching you again.

[all]

What?

It's the Annual Boulder

Sporting Goods Store Awards.

Once again,

we have been nominated

for Best Store

With a Rock Climbing Wall

and Also a Cafe.

And this year, we are

bringing home that trophy.

[chuckles]

[whispers]

Whether we win it or not.

Hey, why not make

Saturday a double win

and let us have a sitter

who didn't use

that spatula

as a back-scratcher.

Look, I'm telling you.

Babysitters are not

easy to find.

It's not like

someone we like and trust

is just gonna walk

through that door.

[Josie]

Hello?

Hey, Josie.

You don't have to knock.

- We trust you.

- Hey, Mr. Harper.

When I was closing last night,

I found this bag of cash

next to the soft

pretzel machine.

Oh, thanks.

[chuckles]

I need to call the bank.

I may have deposited

a pretzel.

Dad, what about Josie?

She knocks.

She returns your money.

And--do you have

an itchy back?

- No.

- She's perfect!

- Yes!

- I know, seriously. Right?

Josie would be

a great babysitter,

but I'm sure

she's really busy

with school and work

and her band.

I would love to babysit.

[all]

Yes!

Not so fast.

Do you know any lullabies

about sausages?

No.

Proceed.

[all cheering]

[all giggling]

Wow, you got the cool

soccer girls to laugh?

I've been trying to find

an in with them forever.

What'd you say?

I just said,

"Here you go, ladies."

Well, did you do

an accent, like,

[with Cockney accent]

"Here you go, ladies!"

Or a yodeling voice,

like,

[singing]

"Yodel-adies-hoo!"

[laughs]

Dawn, why don't you just

go up and say hello.

Yeah.

I can do that.

I say it all the time.

Just watch me.

Don't do the yodel.

Don't do the yodel.

Don't do the--

[singing]

Yodel-adies-hoo!

I yodeled.

Girls, this is Dawn.

She's terrible

at yodeling,

but great at soccer.

You should

get to know her.

See you at your house

at 7:00.

Coolest babysitter ever.

You have a babysitter?

[scoffs]

No.

I'm just saying

she'd be cool for babies

who needed to be sat.

Then why is she going over

to your house?

Uh, you know,

for a hang sesh.

So you're just hanging

with Josie?

That's cool.

Well, yeah.

It is.

You guys should

join us sometime.

So...

Soccer, huh?

[whispering]

So, you want to practice

with us tomorrow?

Well, yeah!

But why wait

till tomorrow?

My dad just got a new shipment

of soccer ball snapbacks.

[ball thumping]

[grunts]

Right in the bread basket.

And that complete stranger

is testing them out.

[spraying]

[coughing]

What are you doing?

I'm musking up

for Josie.

[groans]

This is not a date.

Not with that attitude.

[spraying]

[both coughing]

[groans]

Why does it smell

like desperation in here?

Come on, guys,

if we blow this with Josie,

we're back to Tanya.

[Anne]

If they pull anything shiny

out of their pockets,

it's a trap.

- If they're noisy, it's a trap.

- If they're quiet, it's a trap.

What if they set up

an actual trap?

Oh, you'll recognize it,

step to the side to avoid it,

and be right in

another trap.

These kids are horrible!

All right.

Love you guys.

Bye, guys. Love you so much.

Okay, kiss.

[all]

Mommy, I love you.

Honey, honey, honey, honey,

honey, honey, honey, honey!

Thank you, Josie.

Bye, kids!

Bye.

I know your parents

are a little worried,

but I got this

under control.

You're in good hands.

[screams]

[all scream]

Got ya!

[laughs]

You guys were

so scared.

So what do we do first?

I'm gonna check

my pants.

Unrelated to what

just happened.

[chuckles]

So how'd it go

with the soccer girls?

Awesome!

We hung out,

then they totally

asked me

to play soccer with them.

All because of you.

[chuckles]

Stick with me, kid.

I got your back.

All clear.

[doorbell rings]

- That's the pizza.

- I'll get plates.

Hi, Dawn.

Denise?

Hi!

You're at my house!

Oh, my gosh.

You're at my house.

You said I should come

for a hang sesh

with you and Josie

sometime.

This is sometime.

Is Josie here yet?

Oh, right.

Josie and the hang sesh.

No, she's not here yet.

What do you mean?

She's babysitting.

Baby-seshing.

That's what Josie and me call

a very small hang sesh.

But it's over now.

[groans]

We should do this

again sometime.

Not this sometime.

Another sometime.

But sometime when

the soccer girls can be here.

Bummer.

And they're already here.

Yay.

[Dawn]

And a bunch of other kids.

Dude, sweet party.

[Dawn]

Party?

Who said there was a party?

Oddly Old-Looking Oscar.

I heard about it

on the Interwebs.

We're throwing

a party?

How come I

wasn't invited?

You're the one who told us

not to blow it,

and you're blowing it?

I'm not throwing

a party.

And I'm not

blowing anything.

You guys distract Josie.

I'll get everybody out.

Hi.

[chuckles]

Get out.

Hi.

Get out.

Dude, this is so awesome.

Thank you so much.

Get out.

Think about it.

You can't preheat an oven.

You just heat it.

You don't heat it

before you heat it.

[both laughing]

He says the things

we're all thinking.

I smell a trap.

That's my body spray.

It's called

Lady Trap.

Is it working?

'Cause I'm gonna

be straight with you--

I like this.

You guys are funny.

Oh, my gosh.

It is a trap.

[party music playing]

♪ ♪

No, no, no.

It is not a party.

Great party.

Really?

I mean, I could do way better

and I will,

but on another night.

Not tonight.

[Dawn]

Hey, why don't you all come back

when the party gets real crazy?

[all]

Yeah!

What is going on

in here?

Josie!

You came back!

Let's crank up the tunes!

[air blowing]

[smushing]

Beep, beep, beep, beep--

All right,

head straight home.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Not you four.

On the couch.

Go.

Well, at least I remembered

the awards aren't

till next Saturday.

Yeah, I just wish

you remembered

before we walked

into that memorial service.

Get your tissues out,

losers!

'Cause the winners

are gonna bury y'all--

[both]

Beep, beep, beep.

We finally gave you guys

a chance to replace Tanya,

and the second we're gone,

you throw a party?

- She threw a party.

- I didn't throw a party!

- It sure looked like a party.

- It wasn't a party.

What happened

to the party?

Man, that kid

reminds me of my dad.

So you're telling me

that wasn't a party?

No, it just kind of happened.

I wanted the soccer girls

to like, me so I invited them--

Oh, well, that's not gonna be

a problem

because you will not be hanging

out with those girls anymore.

That's not fair.

I didn't do anything.

Dawn.

They need to know the truth.

It was a party.

What?

And I threw it.

[all]

What?

Look, I wanted these kids

to think that

I was a cool babysitter,

so I invited some

of their friends over.

I'm really sorry.

Okay.

Then, Dawn, it looks like

you're off the hook.

But you--

You broke our trust.

I'm sorry,

but you can't babysit anymore.

[kids whining]

No, guys.

This is for the best.

Your mom is right.

Come on, Josie.

I'll drive you home.

Thank you, Dicky.

It's nice to see a young person

showing some responsibility.

- Tom.

- Yeah.

Oh, not again.

Dawn,

Dawn's Plan is crazy.

Yeah, who came up

with this?

How do you think this is

really gonna get Josie back?

You guys doubted me

when I said

raccoons don't like hugs.

Correction.

They don't like

surprise hugs.

Trust me.

This plan's gonna work.

Josie got in trouble for a party

she didn't throw.

Now we're gonna get Tanya

in bigger trouble

for a party

she didn't throw.

Then it's ta-ta, Tanya,

and hello-sie, Josie.

- Did you call her nephew?

- I didn't.

[in Tanya's accent]

But Tanya did.

I say, come to party.

Bring stinky food.

[normal voice]

Now, let's go

get Josie back!

- I'll get Dad's raft.

- I'll get Mom's cell phone.

I've got a score to settle

with a raccoon.

Just be on the lookout

for Mom and Dad.

[clattering]

It was dented

when I found it.

Give me that.

Hey, Josie, we wanted

to give you a second chance.

Come over in 15 minutes,

no sooner.

P.S. Bring donuts.

Dicky.

You're not the only one

with a plan.

The raft is stashed.

[sloshing]

[Dawn]

Tanya's here.

[doorbell rings]

[Tanya]

In case the bell doesn't work,

I'm singing now

so you know I am here.

♪ Sausage, oh, sausage ♪

♪ You mystery meat ♪

[Tanya]

♪ I grind in the goat horn ♪

♪ To make you complete ♪

[all]

Tanya!

Since you like hat

so much,

I make you scarf

for face.

[muffled grunt]

Thank you.

Anne, don't worry.

I called the banquet hall

three times to make sure the

awards are actually tonight.

Fine.

Oh, do you have money for a cab?

Oh, of course I have

money for a cab.

We may have to hit

an ATM.

Okay, kids.

I love you. Bye.

- Be good. Bye.

- I love you, mommy.

- I love you.

- You're leaving now? Okay.

Honey, honey, honey, honey,

honey, honey, honey, honey!

Okay, bye!

Thank you, Tanya!

Tanya, we're so glad

you're here.

The downstairs toilet

is totally clogged.

Did you bring your plunger?

Does Tanya's milk shake

bring the boys to farm?

[laughs]

You knows it.

I take care of it.

[Tanya]

There is nothing clogged

in toilet.

Nicky, hit it!

[air blowing]

[screams]

[Tanya]

Now I'm clogged in toilet!

Okay, Tanya--

check.

Josie's on her way,

and all we need now

are the Borschtinyorschkins.

[doorbell]

And sounds like they're

at the doorschkin.

[goat bleating]

[baas]

My apologies.

My goat here

has no manners.

[shouting in foreign language]

And where is Tanya?

She left message

at meat store

saying the family reunion

was here.

This is the place.

Come on in.

Ah, I brought aged chicken.

[sniffs]

Okay, shouldn't have done that.

I'm Schtinki.

This is my family.

My wife, Saynya.

And our children, Booshka,

Vooshka, Nooshka, and Jill.

Fellow non-rhymer.

Up top.

[blows raspberry]

Where's the rest

of the family?

[horn blows]

[all chattering

in foreign language]

All right, everyone.

Welcome to

the Borschtinyorschkin

family reunion!

[cheers]

Everyone, settle in.

Relax.

We have punch

from your home country.

Dicky, you're up.

Mom, Dad, Tanya's throwing

a party here at the house.

Come home quick!

Bring milk.

It's all part

of my plan.

[goat bleating]

[door slamming]

There's a goat

on your porch.

- Josie, thank goodness

you're here.

- Where are the donuts?

Ask the goat.

- Not cool, goat!

[goat bleating]

[door slamming]

What's going on?

Tanya's throwing

some crazy party.

Mom, Dad,

you're here!

What's going on?

[all]

Hey.

[Ricky]

Tanya threw a party.

[Nicky]

See?

But then Josie came over

to get everybody out,

'cause she's so responsible.

[Dawn]

She's a hero.

See?

A hero who deserves

a second chance

to be our babysitter.

Dawn.

I know you sent me

that text.

And once Josie got

your bogus text,

she texted us.

We just wanted

to get Josie back

by making it look

like she saved the day.

Okay.

Sorry, everyone.

The party's over.

[Anne]

Have a good night.

Get home safe.

[Tom]

Thanks for coming.

[Anne]

Happy reunion.

[chattering]

[Nicky]

Bye, guys.

Ooh.

I clean up after goat.

[distant farting]

What was that?

It's Tanya.

She's in

the bathroom.

All right, look.

I appreciate you guys

want me to be your babysitter,

but your mom and dad

made a decision

and you have

to respect that.

[distant fart]

And you shouldn't

try to get

some poor, innocent woman

in trouble.

I expected more

from you guys.

[distant fart]

Mom, Dad,

Josie didn't invite

those kids over the other night.

It was my fault.

- She's right.

- Totally her fault.

Josie, is this true?

Yes.

[distant fart]

But Dawn didn't exactly

do it on purpose.

[fart]

I remember what it's like

to be ten,

desperately wanting

to impress the older girls.

[distant fart]

So I took the blame.

[distant farting]

[Dawn]

Josie's right.

I was bragging

about hanging out with her

and it just blew up

in my face.

[farting]

If I would have

just admitted

that she was our babysitter

in the first place,

she'd still be

babysitting us.

[distant fart]

Josie, we should've known

you'd never betray our trust.

We're sorry.

[farting]

Okay, what is going on

in there?

[panting]

I had to pop raft

to get out of bathroom.

[fart sound]

[all]

Oh!

You know what, Tanya?

We have some bad news.

It's okay.

I understand.

I hear everything

through bathroom door.

I take punch,

we call it square.

Ooh, extra chunky.

[farts]

That was me.

[Dawn]

So Josie can babysit us again?

Hmm.

I guess so.

- Yay!

- Yes!

[Dawn]

Yay. Uh-huh!

Yeah.

Wait, where's Dicky?

[panting]

Dicky, one.

Goat, zero.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[whistling melody]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪

- [cheerful melody]

- ♪