Original subtitles

- Hey, guys.

Help me out.

I need a name for my band.

- Dirty Sponge?

- Empty Cup.

- You're saying things

that are in front of you.

- Girl Without a Band Name?

- That's not bad.

That's not bad.

- Check it out, womb-mates.

In honor of our tenth

birthday,

I made a little slideshow

with all our old pictures.

I call it, "Dawn

and the Other Three."

- Look how young I was.

Didn't even have my beard

back then.

- And you don't have one now.

- Josie sees it.

Right, Josie?

- I see some chocolate.

- A chocolate-y man-beard.

- Ohh, that's a good band name!

- Don't look now,

but I think I see

some soon-to-be ten-year-olds.

- Uh-oh!

Better start saving for college.

[laughter]

Seriously,

I need to get on that.

- We're just so excited

that our babies are

about to turn the big

♪ One-O ♪

- ♪ We're not babies anymore ♪

- ♪ And we're in public ♪

- Anne, stop.

You're embarrassing them.

[chuckles]

Now, which one of you

is most excited for tonight's

visit from the Quadfather?

- The what-father?

- The Quadfather.

He's the mystical being

that visits quadruplets

all over the world

the week of their birthdays

for a little sit-down.

[laughs]

You see, because quadruplets

have to share the same birthday,

the Quadfather grants each

of them their own special wish--

in exchange, of course,

for a nice Italian meal.

Then on the day of their

party,

he magically appears and makes

those wishes come true.

- So why is he a beaver?

- Oh, you are gonna love this.

- Hey, Daddy-o.

Check out my jazz beard.

- Oh, pepper.

[sneezes]

Ah! An olive.

When did I have olives?

- And why didn't you chew it?

- I don't know.

- You guys must be super stoked

the Quadfather is coming.

- [scoffs]

Please.

We're turning ten.

- Yeah, we all know it's just

our Dad in a beaver suit

wearing an Italian suit

over the beaver suit.

- I think it's cute

that he does that for you guys.

- It was cute,

and now it's just embarrassing.

One of us has to tell him

we know it's him.

- I vote you.

- I vote Dicky.

- Nicky's not here.

Let him tell Dad

we don't believe

in the stupid Quadfather.

- The Quadfather's coming!

The Quadfather's coming!

I'm the luckiest boy

in the world!

- Nicky may not be

the best choice.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [whistling melody]

♪ ♪

[rhythmic clapping]

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- [whistling melody]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na-na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na,

na-na ♪

- ♪ One, two ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na ♪

- ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

- ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

[classical Italian music

playing]

♪ ♪

- Uh, Nicky?

Before you sit down

with the Quadfather,

there's something we have

to tell you.

- Later. I'm making sauce here.

And that cheesy garlic bread

is not gonna toast itself.

- Nicky, we're not

making anything, because the

Quadfather's really--he's just--

- Say it!

- Do it!

- He's Dad!

- That's ridiculous.

Dad's not Italian,

he doesn't own a suit,

and he doesn't have

the teeth of a beaver!

- The Quadfather

will see you now.

- You can all live

in your fantasy land,

but I've got an Italian beaver

to feed.

♪ ♪

- [imitating Vito Corleone]

Hello, Nicholas.

I hope you brought me some pasta

I can't refuse.

- Mangia.

- What?

No cheesy garlic bread?

This displeases me.

- It was the others.

They tried to convince me

that you're really just...

[sputters]

Our Dad.

- That's radicchio!

Clearly I'm a mystical oversized

beaver in an Italian suit.

Bring them to me.

So...

You come to me

with a wild accusation,

and this,

the week of your birthday.

- [scoffs]

Really, Dad?

We're still doing this?

- Silencio.

If I were your Dad,

would I eat like this?

- Yes.

- Eh.

If this is how you feel,

then I guess you have

no special requests for me.

- We actually have one.

We don't want the Quadfather to

make an appearance at our party.

- [both gasp]

- But I always make

an appearance.

- It just feels

a little juvenile.

We're gonna be ten.

- Single digits

are for learning.

Double digits are for earning.

- What does that even mean?

- Don't listen to them.

Fresh pepper?

- Yeah.

[grunting]

[sneezes]

- That's weird.

You sneeze just like...

- [sneezes]

- I know it's you, Dad.

- But, Nicholas...

- You broke my heart.

[grunts]

- Tried to tell you, dude.

♪ ♪

- [sighs dramatically]

- Haven't seen him like this

since that time

we forgot to tell him

our hide-and-seek game

was over.

- That was bad.

He was behind the toilet

for 17 hours.

- Dad used it three times.

[shudders]

- We'll worry about him later.

Right now, we've got a party

to plan.

- Yeah, we need something

that really says "Ten."

[snaps fingers]

What about a beach party?

- Yeah, we'll have a party

on one of the many famous

Colorado beaches.

- I meant a beach theme.

With sand, orchids in our hair,

coconut drinks in our hands...

- I hate sand.

It gets in places.

What about a club party

with pumpin' dance music

so I can bust out a little...

Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Unz! Unz! Unz!

- I don't unz.

But I do have a better idea.

- What?

A science party?

- No.

A...extreme party.

With things that are extreme.

- More like extremely lame.

- Well, beaches are lamer.

- Well, unzes are lamest.

- What?

- Why do we never get to see

it?

[all arguing over each other]

- I am so done...

- You know why?

- Kids! Kids!

Hey!

What is this all about?

- Are you reconsidering having

the Quadfather at your party?

All: No!

- It was worth a shot.

- We're trying to plan

what we want for our party.

- Oh, I get it.

Now that you're turning ten,

you wanna kick things

up a notch.

Well, leave the planning to

me.

As usual,

mama's got you covered.

- Uh-oh.

- I've got my fun kit packed

with all my greatest hits--

face painting, balloon

animals,

and everyone's favorite

singing sock puppet,

Justin Timbersock!

"I'm bringing socksy back."

- We appreciate your effort,

but that stuff is so nine.

- [gasps]

What is happening?

- Well, it's not looking good

for Justin Timbersock.

Nicky, how about you?

How do you feel about all this?

- Since there is no happy

in my birthday anymore,

why have a party altogether?

- He's right.

Why have a party all together?

We should have separate parties.

- That's it.

Separate parties.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why have separate parties

when we can each have our own?

- Wow.

You've never had

separate parties before.

But I guess if that's

really important to you,

then...

I could plan separate parties.

- Quaddle-up.

It was a tough decision,

but we all decided we're old

enough to plan our own parties.

- Sorry, but we're growing up,

Anne.

- Oh, yeah?

Well, planning parties is harder

than you think.

You'll see!

They'll see, right, Tom?

- Oh, they'll see.

They think they're so grown

up.

They'll see how much

they need us.

They'll see!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ow!

♪ ♪

- Wow.

Look at us.

We really pulled this off.

- Totally crushed it.

- Left no stone unturned.

- They didn't see.

- They don't need us.

- ♪ Mommy wanted to help ♪

♪ They just didn't need her ♪

♪ Can someone please explain ♪

♪ Why the Quadfather's

a beaver ♪

♪ Separate parties ♪

♪ No beaver ♪

♪ Separate parties,

no beaver ♪

- Josie.

- Sorry.

[clears throat]

All: Mae!

Welcome to my party.

She's here for my party.

I invited her to my party.

- You invited me

to all three parties.

[all scream]

[all screaming]

- ♪ Separate parties,

same guests ♪

♪ Which will they choose?

We don't know ♪

- [deep voice]

Awkward.

- Okay, so we left

one tiny stone unturned.

- This is a disaster.

- A delicious disaster.

Both: They need me.

- Hup--leave it to me, beaver.

It's Mommy time.

- Ohh.

- Another one, Josie.

And keep 'em coming.

- You should all come

to my party.

- I've got volleyball.

- I've got rock-climbing.

- I've got unzes.

- Looks like a party emergency.

Did somebody call 9-Mom-Mom?

- Mom-no-no.

- [shushing]

It's okay.

It's okay now.

Ten years ago, I gave you

life.

Today, I am gonna save it.

- Mom, you need to let us

handle this like adults.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a

tiger by its toe.

If he hollers, let it go.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

- Yes!

I get first pick.

Mae.

- [scoffs]

She's my best friend.

- The moe gets the Mae.

- Fine.

Ashley!

- Connor.

- Jordan.

- Callie.

- Charlotte.

- Clay.

- Ryan.

- Taylor.

- Since it's your birthday,

you can have

oddly old-looking Oscar.

- Hey, Oscar.

Ready to party?

- Say, you're not

gonna be playing

any of that hippity-hop music,

are you?

- Welcome to the beach, people!

I got a jam-packed party

planned.

First up, team volleyball.

All we need are two teams.

And we only got enough for one.

Scratch volleyball.

Uh, soccer?

No.

Tug-of-war.

Tug-o-no.

You know what?

Skip all the team stuff.

How about we limbo?

Who wants to go first?

- I'll go.

Yolo.

Right, kids?

[club music playing]

- Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Unz! Unz! Unz!

- Um, why aren't you letting

the other boys in?

- 'Cause all cool clubs

have a line.

- But this club isn't cool.

- Are you crazy?

There's a line outside.

- And always be sure

to firmly tighten the--

- Dude, we get it.

It's a helmet.

Now can we do something extreme?

- Of course!

Right after this extremely long

safety video.

- [sniffs]

You catching a whiff of

garlic?

- I am.

I wonder if it's this

garlic bulb in my pocket.

- [hisses]

It burns my vampire blood.

Eh?

Funny, right?

Right?

- Does this look like

it's in the mood for jokes?

- Nope.

You look as serious

as a garlic bulb.

What's up with that?

- This is what we use

to signal the Quadfather.

When we're ready for him,

we'd smash the garlic

and he appears at our party.

- Nicky, you know

he's not coming, right?

- Yeah, I know.

Might as well just throw it out.

- So how's it going over here?

- It's been going great, Mom.

My party's been so fun,

everybody needed a nap.

It's a total snooze fest.

I don't have enough people

to have any fun.

- Well, it is a good thing

I brought my fun aid kit.

I've got just the cure.

[sputters noisemaker]

- I'll have a Denver omelet!

- All right, problem solved.

What's next?

Bring it.

- Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Unz! Unz!

- Now this is what I call

a party.

- Yo, Reggie, are you letting

anyone in now?

What are you doing here, Dawn?

- I want my best friend with

me,

so if you give me Mae,

I'll give you a girl

from my party.

- Will that girl dance more

than foot-not-loose Mae?

- Just try and stop her.

- Deal.

- Call me sliced bread,

'cause this is my jam!

- No deal! No deal!

- Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

- Mom!

- What's this? A test?

- No.

An extreme list of questions

that you have to answer

correctly in order to fly.

- So a test.

- Well, when you put it like--

- Bet there's no stupid test

at Dawn's party.

- What if I drop

the essay question?

- This is great, Mae.

I finally got the party

I wanted.

Who wants to play volleyball?

All: Yeah!

- Whoo-hoo!

- Dawn, I don't think

there's enough room.

- I got this, Mae.

Volley for serve!

Ow!

It's all good, everyone.

Not a party till someone

gets hit in the face.

- Not cool, Dawn.

- Yeah, you can't just steal

guests from our parties.

- Uh, not my fault

I planned a better party.

- Oh, yeah?

Let's see about that.

Hey, party peeps, I just turned

the fog machine up to ten.

11!

[all cheer]

- Those are my party peeps!

- They were

my party peeps first.

- Now they're all mine.

Boom!

[high-pitched whirring]

[explosion]

[all coughing]

- Boom!

Now they're all gone.

- [coughs]

- Don't worry, everyone.

The extreme fun

is right this way.

Okay, who's first

in the skydiving simulator?

- No way.

You spent 45 minutes

explaining

all the ways you might get

extremely hurt.

- It's perfectly safe.

I'll show you.

[electronic whirring]

[thuds]

See that?

Totally still alive.

- These separate parties

are weak.

- Yeah, I miss when you guys

used to have one big fun party.

- It's all been leading up

to this, Tom.

This is not a drill.

Well, this is, but...

Mommy is gonna save the day.

Josie, cake.

This cake's gonna be a la mode.

[gasps]

I'm out of ice cream.

- Sweet.

And we know what happens

after the cake--

the Quadfather.

- Actually, no.

Not this year.

- But the Quadfather's

the best part.

All: Yeah.

- [sighs]

I wish I still had that

garlic.

- Good thing I kept it for you.

Signal that beaver.

- Thanks, toots.

[garlic bulb crunches]

[blows air]

- [sniffing]

[whistles lightly]

- Guys, you know

the Quadfather's

really just our Dad

in a beaver suit, right?

- Yeah. But who cares?

It's still fun.

- Yeah, he shoots meatballs

at us from his meat-zooka.

All: Yeah!

- Guys, we're ten now.

We're too old

for the Quadfather.

Am I right?

All: Boo!

- No boo! We still have cake.

Yay cake! Cake! Cake!

All: Cake! Cake!

Cake! Cake! Cake!

[all gasp]

Floor cake! Floor cake!

Floor cake! Floor cake!

[all groan]

- First no Quadfather,

and now floor cake?

Worst party ever, Harpers.

- What did the boy say?

- They're right.

I guess we should blow out

our candles.

- What should we wish for?

- I wish we still believed

in the Quadfather.

- He still believes in you.

- [imitating Vito Corleone]

What's this I hear? You little

gabagools are leaving without a

meatball?

- It's the Quadfather!

Don't be fusilli!

[laughs]

[meat-zooka pops]

[laughs]

- So that was

our tenth birthday.

We all learned

a little something that day.

- It's okay to want to grow up,

but don't grow up too fast.

- Or you'll miss all the fun

along the way.

- And remember, when life

shoots you meatballs...

Wear a face mask.

[laughter]

- This never gets old.

- Mom, next year you should go

back to planning our party.

- Oh, honey.

I've already started.

- [laughs]

- And, Nicky,

thanks for saving our butts.

- Don't thank me.

Thank the Quadfather.

- Boom!

[laughter]

- ♪ ♪

- [whistling melody]

♪ ♪

- [vocalizing]

♪ Yeah ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪

- ♪