Original subtitles

Thank you, Miss.

A fifty and the rest in tens.

Thank you.

Thank you.

ln fifties?

Thank you.

- Ham sandwich and beer. - Out of ham. Liverwurst, hot dog.

Hot dog.

Liverwurst. What are you drinking?

Yeah, but l asked for a hot dog.

Uh, a beer.

50 centimes to rent the chair.

But l'm not sitting in it.

As soon as l turn my back you will.

That's not right.

Go on, tell me l short changed you.

Well l'm sorry you have.

Like you're the first person to try that one.

LOVE AT THE TOP

Waiting for someone who doesn't exist?

Maybe l am.

You want a drink?

Why not?

- What'll it be? - Double whisky.

Two.

- So what's your... - Marie-Paul. What's yours?

- Nichola. - To absent friends.

Must be on my way.

You mean now?

You think maybe l'll see you tomorrow?

Yes, maybe you will. Here?

Yes, if you like.

l'll be here.

They all say that.

Then what?

Nothing. She walked out.

You grabbed a young woman and said...what?

You're waiting for a person who doesn't exist.

Why did you say that to her?

Just because.

Just because.

You've never picked up a woman in your life.

l know. l said to myself ''Why not?'' Know what l mean?

A million reasons came to mind.

l don't know what's happening to me.

Not one of the reasons struck me as valid.

Huh.

So, the minute you have no reason not to...

...anything is possible.

- She pretty? - Yeah.

How pretty?

Just pretty. You know, pretty.

Then what?

l went back to the bank.

Huh, too bad.

Look how they sent my manuscript back.

What do you mean too bad?

Because it's too bad.

What do you want me to do?

Tear her clothes off in the street?

Me? l don't want a thing.

You said all things are possible.

And besides, why in the street?

Here, listen to what they have to say...

Claude Fabrich should stick to things

He knows his pretentiousness is a bore.

What are you going to do now?

l'll have to find another editor. You?

Tomorrow l'll sleep with her.

That'll be the day.

Wow! l was thinking 'Well, he forgot.''

''He's too busy.'' So l didn't bother to wait.

To wait?

Well. l've begun without you.

lt doesn't matter.

Yes it does. l'm embarrassed.

Never mind. You're not missing anything.

lt tastes like cardboard.

Are you going to stand there like that?

No.

l'm really happy you showed up.

lnteresting?

l imagine so or they wouldn't have published it.

Hey, next time leave the cardboard out!

Do you want to go now?

Please bring the check.

Where will we go?

lt's up to you. You lead the way.

Fresh towels in the bathroom, toilet down the hall.

Thank you.

Want something, don't bother to ring.

The bell doesn't work.

Don't waste time, do you?

Will you think of me later?

l swear l will.

You'll be nice to me?

l will.

You earn a living at least, don't you?

Yes. Why?

l'd rather forget the whole thing than take...

...money from a guy who doesn't have any.

What's got into you?

What did you think l came here for? For you?

You heard her say the bell doesn't work.

Get undressed.

You have twenty seconds.

Repeat after me. l came here because l wanted to.

- What? - Repeat it.

l came here because l wanted to.

As soon as l saw you l knew l wanted you.

As soon... look, are you funny in the head by any chance?

l'm waiting.

As soon as l saw you...

l knew l wanted you.

That's got to be the ugliest tie in the world.

Kiss?

Afterwards if you want we can...

...look at the trains.

She's a whore.

And so? Did you pay her?

No.

You walked out?

Not quite. l raped her.

lt's almost impossible for one man...

...to rape a woman of average strength unless...

...you knock her out before hand.

- You knocked her out? - No.

You seduced her.

lf you say l seduced her, then l seduced her.

- This happened at lunch? - No, l can't pretend l'm that fast.

You didn't go back to the bank?

No.

Andras. We have reason to celebrate.

Yes, sir.

Would you like us to bring us refreshments.

Sir? What are you drinking?

Cognac.

Cognac and cherry shake with a drop of vodka.

Very good sir.

What's the occasion?

- The faintest ray of hope. - Hope of what?

l'm not too sure.

Do you have a presentable shirt?

Yeah.

Wear it and meet me here tomorrow at eight.

But tomorrow is Wednesday. You're meeting Gould.

Yes. As always.

- Sing. He kept saying. Sing! - Really?

During it! Trouble is, l can't carry a tune!

Hi. l want you to meet my friend Sylvie.

- How do you do? - Pleasure.

And over there that's Toby.

- Hello. - No, you son-of-a-bitch. Get in there.

- Don't pay any attention to him. - This is for you.

That's nice of you.

I'm sure you won't be bored.

- With the professor of Philosophy. - Oh, he' got a wife?

The wisest thing, sleep with her as soon as possible.

Is thIs for your next book?

I'm doIng research.

- On what? - On you.

l'm having dinner with a stranger to seduce his wife?

- Yes. - But, why?

Why not.

Because... it's just not done.

That's where you are mistaken.

That's a flashy tie you've got .

Marie-Paul gave it to me.

We'll have to educate Marie-Paul.

Oh, non-involvement with the crowd, huh?

You've noticed that Brecht never employed that technique.

He knew the effectiveness of his plays would suffer.

Didn't matter what anyone said.

Mr.Brecht prized his effectiveness.

l'm astonished that a philosopher like yourself...

Correctionary philosopher to be exact.

With a healthy respect for Aristotle and

a soft spot for St. Thomas.

Hmm. Something's burning. l'd better go see.

Yes, but Plato on the other hand said...

Plato preached a lot of nonsense my friend.

You really ought to have more respect for...

...the classic traditions.

- Such as. - George come heIp me. WIII you?

Excuse me.

l hope our conversation isn't boring you as we ramble on.

No, absolutely not. l think it's fascinating.

Fascinating. Yes, indeed.

You don't like her.

Sure l do, but...

Then what are you waiting for?

l'm warning you it's overdone.

You want your meat raw and still breathing.

Watch your cigarette. Oh, l might have known.

Don't get excited. Just a second now. There.

lt's time we met.

- Claude's been talking about you for years. - Claude?

ln boarding school, boys were known by last names.

Nichola still does it. To him, l'll always be Fab...

And you're line is banking right?

Yes. Yes it is.

l've been trying to reason with my husband.

Several publishers have sent propositions.

But he won't give up his chair at the University.

Never. lt's too much fun!

A fascinating phenomenon.

No one can observe its agony...

...like in the university.

Claude, your friend reminds me of someone else.

Who could it be though?

He does resemble Tacitus in miniature.

Mommy.

Jerome, What are you doing here?

There's a man sitting on the chair.

- A man sitting on what chair? Where? - ln my room.

- He keeps staring. - You should be asleep at this hour.

- Back to bed now. - But, a man's there in my room.

- Did you turn on the light? - Yes.

When you turned it on, did the man disappear?

Yes.

l know what it is.

Do you mind if we go to his room?

Of course not.

Come on.

Jerome. l know that man very well.

He comes out in the dark...

...and when the lights turn on, he goes away.

But the minute we fold up our clothing he goes away for good.

He goes to bother some other little boy...

...who didn't put his clothes away right.

Night angel.

NIght mommy.

Thank you.

The strange man disappeared.

Thanks to Mr. Malet.

- ls that you. - Yes.

- Did you have a nice dinner? - Yes. Very nice.

Did they like your tie.

Very much.

Still want to go out?

No.

- Want to screw? - No. l'm too sleepy.

Sylvie thinks you look just like Steve McQueen.

Yes, what is it?

l saw your ad in "Fox and Hounds" magazine.

Are you the inflatable real life rubber doll...

...in plain brown wrapper that l sent for.

lmpressive.

Please. Won't you come in?

l'm not proud of myself.

Me neither.

lt's never quite as awkward after the first time.

Never.

And you mustn't expect any miracles.

Oh, no. You mustn't.

You could come closer to me.

What did you come for last evening.

l wanted to sleep with you.

But you didn't know me.

You didn't know me either.

lt doesn't make sense.

No sense at all.

- No wait. - What for?

Just a second.

- Times up. - No.

You must think it's a big act. You're right.

lt's because of the daylight.

People should make love at night.

Late at night. When the world's asleep.

You're letting me talk huh. So what?

Her breasts?

Great.

Her skIn?

Great.

Her Iegs.

ReaIIy great..

You keep sayIng the same thIng.

How dId you take her?

She took me.

DId she taIk whIIe you were doIng It?

- She saId... - ''lt was nice of you to say...

...the beef wasn't too well done last night.''

- She saId that? - Yes.

- Darling. - And she saId nothIng eIse.

No.

l love you.

What dId she say afterward?

Now it's my turn to look at you.

She didn't say anything special.

Did she say anything about me?

No, nothing.

She said she hoped to see a lot of me.

Good work.

What do you mean good work?

Because l am now confident whatever...

...you wish is possible if you do whatever l say.

Because l successfully seduced one Roberta Grou?

Because you successfully raped one Nichola Malet.

- Sounds like the end of a chapter. - Chapter one.

You'll quit your job tomorrow.

You're crazy!

That was a bleat. A bleeding lamb has...

...found out he's gone astray.

Pathetic sheep.

Trotting along from childhood to the chopping block...

...with no thought in their heads except to conform.

All they can strive for is postponing...

...their inevitabIe date wIth the butcher.

Morning Mr. Galfon.

Morning Malet, don't bother me unless it's urgent.

lt is Mr. Galfon l want to quit my job.

- When exactly Mr. Malet? - Today Mr. Galfon.

- Today? - Yes, Mr. Galfon.

Give your employer a month's notice?

Yes, Mr. Galfon.

- Mm, hmm. You don't give a damn? - No, Mr. Galfon.

You found something better.

Yes, Mr. Galfon.

And may l ask what Mr. Malet?

Just what do you want to do now?

Get rich, screw a large number of women.

- But that's what everyone wants to do. - Yes, Mr. Galfon.

Except nobody does.

Exactly what l said to myself Mr. Galfon.

Leave the theme for next week.

- But translate two chapters for Wednesday. - Yes, sir.

Bye, Sir. Sir.

- Well? - l did it.

ln that case you may sit down.

What now?

We'll just have to see.

We'll have to do our homework. Make plans.

Seen Marie-Paul?

- Yes. - Where does she usually operate?

Oh, Downtown. Local bars are open all night.

- Now and then the suburban joints. - No. Up there.

Well where do you want her to go?

lt's hard if she's alone. But, if she's with you.

Begin by lunching with her everyday at Maxim's.

After a couple weeks you leave before the dessert.

Maxim's. But l never set foot in there.

lt's time you went to a place you've never visited.

Everyday, do something you haven't.

No matter how smaII or senseIess.

You must go Into traInIng.

Get rid of your inhibitions.

- Excuse me Miss. - Mrs. !

Excuse me. l'd like to ask a favor of you.

You really are persistent, aren't you.

l wonder if l might kiss your fingertips.

- Here? - Here.

- Which hand? - The left one.

Make it fast then.

- Thank you. - Good bye.

Good Bye, Mrs.

Excuse me, Sir.

- Are you a handicap? - Why no l'm not, why?

l'll have to ask you to give up your seat.

Thank you, sir. Sorry to trouble you.

l was blinded in Algeria. Syphilis.

Who needs a reason anyhow?

Hello. Hear that. Pierre's leaving us.

- To retire. - No. You're selling out?

Why sure, if l can.

l've got my eye on a place in the country.

- The man is right. - Have you had any offers?

Oh, couple agents, but they can be trusted.

You wouldn't know of a buyer, anybody?

l might. l'll have to think it over.

Well if l can sell it through you.

You'll get commission for your trouble.

Deal. Let me see what l can come up with.

Now, why are you so late?

l've been spending my time in bed with...

...an old lady with blue hair and a case of syphilis.

Aren't you ashamed.

To each his own. Come on. Join me?

- No, l have a date. - What? Weren't we going to Max's.

Not Max's. Maxim's.

And you'll have to go alone today.

I have a coupIe of errands to do.

- ls anything wrong? - l'll give you all l've got.

What?

l've worn this shirt for six months now...

...you don't want me to wear it for another six months?

Would you like some other girl to serve you?

ls she good-looking?

- Look, what are you really after? - A new shirt.

- That's Fr62.50. - The same for everybody.

l will offer you an entire night in exchange...

...for my shirt to do with me whatever you like.

No fooling.

Come on, show me how well you can rape me.

- Here? Right now? - You mean l need a rendezvous?

Uh. No.

lt won't count as rape if you undress.

l'm sorry.

Hello.

It's me. Do you remember Bertou?

- Bertou? - The kId they threw out of schooI.

Ah, the one who ran off with the Headmaster's daughter.

That's rIght. He's now a representatIve.

ls he? Good for him.

No. Good for you.

- Why? - Because he's going to be useful to you.

Call and make a date with him.

Natches Bertu, MaIItau 2666. Got that?

Malitau 2666. l got it.

l'm sorry there was somebody at the door.

l'll give him a call.

Not my specialty, but there's a dozen safe ways.

- lt depends on the sum. - A hundred.

- A hundred? Thousand? - Around that. Yeah.

- Hey, you're doing pretty well. - Not bad.

Well, look.

Must be on the floor for a vote of no confidence.

But if you're free later, around...

Say, how's the headmaster's daughter?

- Oh, you remember that? - What have you done with her?

You never go to the movies, do you?

China Doll, The Sierra is Home to Me?

- Shirley Douglas? Ah, Marie - The headmaster's daughter.

That little girl has come a long way.

Marie-Theres. Listen, How would you like to...

...acquire a little land around Bordeux?

Thank you. Oh, you'd better get back there.

l'm sure they are waiting for you.

lf you weren't prejudiced at the silver screen...

...you'd know what happened to the daughter.

Apart from pornos, nothing made west is worth seeing.

ls she an usher?

She is Shirley Douglas.

What?

Our very own daughter is in Hollywood.

Shouldn't miss The Sierra is Home to Me.

She was quite a beauty.

She still is.

Concentrating on your homework?

You bet. You saw the Rolls Royce.

Did Roberta tell you her husband's away?

- No. - He left yesterday.

- You might have told me sooner. - Hold it.

Where is the money coming from for Bertou's scheme?

That's not my biggest concern.

l can hardly scrape the money for rent.

Nothing's more difficult than the rent.

Yet, if you're smart, nothing's easier than a million dollars.

You're kidding.

Not a bit.

Listen. Ever do it on a chair with Roberta?

Do it once for me, okay?

Why didn't you let me know?

Thought about it. l send telegrams...

...as soon as my husband turns his back?

How did you know he was gone?

From my guardian angel.

He must be guarding the two of us.

That's right.

He's had cough syrup; doesn't do much.

He often asks about you, you know.

lt'd be nicer in bed don't you think?

Do you want to wear his pajamas as well?

One day we'll have a whole night together.

Have you ever made love in a chair?

l should hope so. The shower is elementary.

Standing on my head. You tried it?

Or in the kitchen on all fours.

Forgive me.

Shall l make some coffee?

That'd be nice.

Bankers have managed to force the family out of business.

l'd rather be on the winning side.

What about your friend Claude?

Where were you during the accident?

l was with him. He was driving.

He hadn't been driving long, a month.

Have you read his books?

Yes.

Well, l can't judge. l know him too well.

- He loaned George his latest book. - l read that.

- And? - l hated it.

ls this a dream of yours?

lt's more than that. lt's my goal.

And you really think it exists?

Certainly.

Where?

l don't know where.

Where certain questions are never asked.

But where you have the time to ask others.

And when are you going there?

Soon as l find someone to go with me.

Jerome's going to wake up soon.

Thanks for coffee. l don't want to leave.

On my dream island nobody leaves.

Forget it. You can pay me next time.

Hello there. l waited for you.

No one's heard from you in more than a week.

What have you been doing today?

l went to see a movie.

The bartender's been asking.

Wants to know if you've got a buyer for his place.

He asked me if you were really a regular guy.

Right away, l said that you would never say...

...you had a buyer unless you had a buyer.

You said that?

Yes.

Thanks a lot. But l never said that.

Anyway, don't worry about that.

lf you don't have one, l've got someone else.

You see. That's what l came to tell you.

We met at Max's. He's not bad. Quite funny. Terribly rich.

He's been looking for a good investment.

You came at the right time.

What's his name again?

l call him Julia. Tell him you're my brother.

When do l meet him?

lf you like, we'll ring him now.

Not before l express gratitude you so richly deserve.

How could you be so silly? Come on.

Odd, you don't resemble each other at all.

- That's what everyone says. - l can explain it, Mr. Loserie.

We don't have the same parents.

Three years with Giselle, it wouldn't be right...

...to just drop her. So, l thought of giving her a...

...business of her own, that runs itself.

You know the sort of thing that l mean.

My bar sounds like what you're after.

- Now, when do you want to see it? - Tonight?

Your sister is absolutely charming.

Refined. Honest. l wouldn't...

Mr. Lasourie, my sister is a big girl.

Cigar?

With pleasure.

This bar is good, but would...

...you be interested something more substantial?

lnteresting?

Extremely. A reliable contract is realistic.

ln five years the government will acquire this land.

The owners will name their price.

It’s a highway.

How did you know?

Join us for dinner soon.

Madam Lourceuil would love to meet you.

l knew Marie-Paule would provide the solution.

- l don't see how you knew... - lt was plain as day.

Well, the point is you are on your way.

Now, Lourceuil. Did you say how much?

l told him l'd think about it.

You do know it's not money you need.

lt's a position. You're late again.

Sorry sir, l had a flat.

Finished your conjugations?

- Most of them? - Sit over there and finish them.

- Your mother give you the money? - Yes, sir.

Go on, get to work.

Return it when the deal is done.

From now on we organize.

When someone is introduced to you...

...note the name, what he does, who he is.

Nobody escapes you. Sooner or later, it's useful.

Yes, professor.

Alright you.

Come on, we haven't got all night.

Oh, you haven't met my young friend.

- Nicolas Mallet. Mr and Mrs Carelmann. - How do you do?

Then l got in touch with Grandin.

He contacted Bayard and they had...

...it all sewed up in a weeks time.

Yes.

Mr. AndevIs wouId IIke to know...

...you couId see hIm sometIme next week.

Let me see what l can do for him.

Right, say Thursday at 2:30.

Yes, what is it now?

Miss Allard is here, Sir.

Have her come in.

Miss Allard, Sir.

Watch out!

- I know! But Julien’s at Lyons for the day. Ooh and ah, I say!

He knows how to switch a man for his talent.

Don't you cheat on me...

...with what's her name out there.

- Bernadette. Named after the saint. - They're the worst!

Well, what are we waiting for?

Bernadette...

l'm in conference the whole afternoon.

Very good, sir.

Smile at the birdy.

l'm not handsome, intelligent or seductive...

...but l have a nice car. How about it?

All that matters is that it gets me there.

Take me far away.

l can't explain it.

Don't ask me things l can't explain.

Look at that one.

Good afternoon, Sir.

Forgive me.

l wonder what the lion must think of me.

Well, lions don't like women who cry.

There is something l should tell you.

My husband wants another child.

He did what was needed last night.

Let's go feed the storks.

lt shouldn't pose any serious problems.

At any rate, l'll appreciate you doing it.

l'll leave you now.

You'll find lots of acquaintances here.

l'm beginning to see more clearly.

Only l don't see much.

Bleaker.

Although there is some very nice scenery.

You haven't mentioned Roberta lately.

Her husband wants another kid.

- Groult? - Simpleton.

And Marie-Paule?

- Lourceuil is crazy about her. They’re always together.

Perfect.

Hmm. Someone's missing.

- Who? - Just someone. l don't know who.

Connection. Pull. That's what gets you ahead.

You seem to be stuck in traffic.

l see the problem.

All these women and only one is important. Marie-Paule.

Another woman is bound to be here.

- There. - But what?

lnteresting. Notice anything?

No. There’s Bethioud, the minister of culture, Ducroux...

Now compare the photos.

Ah. Who is she?

Never met her.

She was at six cocktail parties lately...

...always talking to important people.

Oh, yeah! Now l remember.

Tough nut to crack.

Exactly. She’s the one you need. I give you exactly two weeks.

Oh, hello, how are you? l'm delighted you're in.

l had business in the neighborhood.

Thought l'd stop and say hello.

Oh, that's nice of you. Unfortunately, l was just leaving.

Sorry. l didn't realize.

l wouldn't want to intrude.

No! l can spare a minute or two.

Come inside.

May l offer you a drink?

No. Thank you.

Tell me, how's your son?

Jerome? Well he's just fine. Just fine.

- How are you? - Just fine, thanks. How you been?

Mr.Malet was in the neighborhood.

How very nice.

- Sorry, but l've got to be on my way. - Oh, ...

No, no! Stay there. You're good company for my wife.

- Why of course. Do stay. - See you tonight, my love.

- Good-bye. - Bye now.

You must join us for dinner again.

- Yes. With pleasure. Thank you. Good-bye. - Bye.

What's wrong?

l had to be with you that's all.

But we had a date for four o'clock.

l couldn't wait. Are you mad?

A bit.

Why?

You never have the courage to explain what you want.

As far as l am concerned it's very simple.

l'll leave George whenever you like.

lt's embarrassing huh?

Like ordering a snack and the waiter serves a whole meal.

No, l don't mind that at all.

Don't get upset. That was not an ultimatum.

lt's all you're fault you know.

What made you think you had the right...

...to barge in and disturb our routine?

You should never surprise women Nicolas.

lt's dangerous. They simply adore it.

Yes.

Mr. Carelmann on four sIr.

Mr. Carelmann? NIchoIas MalIet.

l took care of that matter for you.

No problems, no difficulties. Simply a question of money.

You're more than welcome.

lf you insist, at your last cocktail party

l was introduced to a fascinating woman.

We had a most interesting conversation.

l've forgotten her name.

She's very tall, brunette, elegant.

Yes, what did you say her name was?

Flora Danieli. Thank you.

You wouIdn't know someone...

...who couId arrange a meetIng wIth her...

l think you ought to know who l am.

Philippe Banoit, practicing pederast.

l'm known to play it straight, but not by many.

Ah, there she is.

Flora, fancy meeting you here.

Very fancy, how are you?

- You know how it is. - No, but l can do without explanation.

Surely, you've met Nichola Malet.

l've seen him snapping pictures of us under...

...the mistaken impression that no one notices.

Oh, there must be a mistake...

Sorry to cut in, excuse me...

...you must be busy with a million things today...

No, not that... Remember to thank who put you up to this.

Now good-bye.

- Good-bye Flora, see you soon. - That's right.

Anything you want to say?

- Let's say l didn't expect to find you so... - Disagreeable?

No one said how disagreeable l am when imposed?

Before l am guilty of imposing any further. l will leave you.

Exactly.

Get down, boy.

Poor fellow.

Roberta!

l thought about your problem, arrived at a solution.

lf your husband really wants a child, the way to stop him...

Well.

Tell him that it's already on the way.

Yes, yes we'll take care of it.

- You mean it? - Yes.

Would you mind my giving you a big kiss right here and now?

- Here? - Right here, yes.

l wouldn't mind a bit.

Hey, what are you doing over there?

He's going to be the father of our child.

But, that's what l read.

The best position to assure conception.

This is the best position to assure cramps you mean.

l love you.

l mustn't forget.

l owe someone an apology.

Well my friend, we should explain.

Uh...

Help me.

Well, you see... uh.

And then?

Well, nothing.

- What do you mean nothing? - She told me to get the hell out.

You had 2 weeks to work it out; that's all you can produce?

- Yeah, but the rest makes up for it. - What rest is that?

Two weeks and not one new calling card.

Looks like you're resting on your laurels.

One or two things you should know, my friend.

You're not past the halfway mark.

You have a job, a car, money. Thanks to one man. Loserrie.

What have you done for him lately? Nothing.

Another month of this and you'll wind up where you began.

Well, come on you're exaggerating.

Are you blind or what?

Take a good look at these cards. What can you use?

This one from last week?

No. Not this one either.

No. No. Nothing. There. Berthoud?

I haven't seen him since.

What have you been doing for the last two weeks anyway?

Roberta is ancient history. Off the list.

Same goes for Sylvie.

lt just keeps going from bad to worse.

lf you don't make some progress, we're screwed.

Miss Rollin telephoned to say she'd be a half hour late.

Alright. Thank you.

Well it still may work out.

But on one condition, that you complete this card. Flora.

To begin with, you break off with her.

Ah, Marie-Paule.

We have a date tonight.

And Lourceuil?

He thinks she's seeing her parents. Does she have any?

Parents? No.

So much the better.

Souvenir.

Hey stranger! Where you been, hey?

Don't you recognize me?

- Let's go to my place. - l want to eat first.

l can't hold out that long!

l want you so much, l've got goose bumps!

Hungry yet?

Your turn!

Lourceuil pronounces my name so funny.

How does he? Marie-Poole.

That's the way it should be pronounced.

Should it?

How are you doing with him?

Fine. He's nice you know. There's just one thing.

What?

ln the last few weeks, he's been obsessed. Something about politics.

Know what it is?

Those elections are affecting him.

- The elections aren't for 6 months. - You know me and politics.

- Oh, no. This isn't possible. - Why, what is it?

We're missing the double one.

Oh, are we now?

Find it then.

Look. l'm hungry.

We'll get food as soon as you find it.

Ah, your little brother.

- Hello, how are you? - Fine. Thank you.

- You've lost weight. - Nonsense.

- My dear boy, l always see you alone. - Alone?

- Yes, no women. - Oh well you know, me and women...

You mean?

Oh no, no, no. That's not what l meant. Nicolas is in love.

- Oh, really? - With a woman who is not free.

Look out for the woman's husband, huh?

Ah, Brochard.. Haven't seen you in years.

Cazaneuve, did you land that contract?

Yes, but it cost us the moon.

l'll take you home now.

l'll go alone.

You know what would make me eternally grateful?

Don't tear your hair out by the roots...

...don't tell me what a meaningless bore life without me is, and so on.

- Do that for me? - Flora, what's wrong?

- You make me sick. - Flora, l love you.

Did you come here in a car?

Yes.

Would you have the kindness to take me home.

Certainly.

Oh, it's you!

Yes, it's me.

Well, never mind. Well, shall we go?

Martini, Cognac, Gin, Port?

l'd prefer to have a beer.

German or English?

Oh, um... doesn't matter.

Won't you come over here.

You still have nothing more to say to me.

No. l don't mind that.

All l ask of you is not to go about it too fast.

Thank you Eleonore.

Eleonore?

Yes, her father thought big.

Your reward. Whether you deserve it is another matter.

Despite my request, you were somewhat rapid.

No, thank you.

You'll avenge yourself some other day.

But not now. You need to have a drink.

Well done.

l'm invited out to dinner this Saturday...

...but l'll try to be home by midnight.

- All Right? Wonderful. - Thanks for driving me home tonight.

No, no. Good-night Mr. Mallet.

Did you hurt yourself Mr. Mallet?

No, no. lt's all right.

Ah, l'm so glad.

- Yes? - Mr. Fabre on line three.

Hello.

- Making progress with Flora? - Yes and no.

What do you mean? Either you slept with her or you didn't.

- I sIept wIth her. - Then you're in business.

- No, it wasn't easy. - What?

- If you sIept wIth her then that's It.. - Good-bye, sir.

2 female ostriches chased by 2 male ostriches in the desert.

- Are you with me? - Of course.

The females know males run faster; males have longer legs.

So, they discuss the situation; decide to hide.

ln ostrich fashion, they bury their heads in the sand.

You follow me?

At this point the males screech to a halt.

One says ''Where did they go?''

Yeah and?

See, it's not a bit funny.

The chap l had lunch with laughed so hard...

...he almost choked on his fois gras. - Oh really? Who was it?

Oh, just someone who's in politics.

Tell me, which friend, the representative?

Bertou? Yeah.

With the elections coming up...

Want me to talk to him about it?

Promise me you won't tell anybody.

Word of honor.

l should like to run for election myself.

- At last! - What do mean at last?

Well, you're a born politician.

Do you think so?

- lt's obvious. You're very tolerant, right? - Yes.

Generous.

- Well... - And you're full of ideas.

- The huge success proves it. - Ah, That's true.

The truth is you are neither tolerant nor generous.

And as for ideas...

Despite this you are able to convince people the contrary.

Because you know the key words. The most politic.

And you even reacted properly.

l'm only disappointed that you...

...have so little confidence in me.

Precisely what is it you want?

- To be useful to you. - l know that, but why?

l'm very rich.

l know when someone's out for my money.

That's not what you want at all.

The day you discover l'm no use to you...

...is the day you throw me out

The very day.

Then l have no choice but to be of use.

The male ostriches come to a screeching halt, look around...

...and one says to the other one, where'd they go?

Very funny.

Let me find out who's running in that district...

...then we'll know where we stand.

l found the missing link. Lourceuil.

He wants to run in the next election and needs Berthoud’s help.

Well, you certainly seem happy about it.

l found the connection; forget 'Old Stone Face'.

Old stone face'?

Flora.

Lourceuil. Berthoud’s. Berthoud’s. Lourceuil.

You're at the mercy of 2 men when you need 20.

And where are you going to find them?

When will you see her?

l have a date tomorrow, midnight.

Well there you are.

You're late.

l'm sorry. l wasted hours trying to...

...decide what to wear.

Did you solve the problem?

ln a way.

Let's see the result.

lt suits you.

Rather simple.

lt seems almost basic.

Not too austere?

l have something to tell you.

What?

l thought about you from 10:30 to 10:46.

Too long. l too have something to share.

-What? -We have the whole night.

He's out of town until tomorrow and

Jerome is next door for the night.

We have all night.

l have an appointment at midnight.

Saturday?

Yes.

lf you're gone long, l could stay.

No.

But, l'd be glad to drive you home.

Don't want you to be late.

Just one other thing.

l'm pregnant.

l'm late. l hope Miss Danieli isn't furious.

Miss Danieli has not come home yet.

Would you like something to drink.

Coca-cola, shot of milk, drop of ketchup.

We're out of ketchup, l used mustard.

Even better, thank you.

Exactly what l thought, sir.

Well, that's that.

What can one say but thank you. You did that rather well.

l mean that.

Sorry?

By the way, do me a favor.

Don't go rolling about on the carpet, complaining that...

...''life is boring without me'' and so on. Can you do that?

You don't want to see me anymore.

- But, Flora. You need me. - Get someone else, my friend.

Your minor talent in the sack is something l can do without.

- But, it's nothing to do with sex. - What then?

l need the respect you enjoy wherever you go.

The terror you sow on bankers and politicians.

l need the way you smile and sneer on cue.

l need your visiting cards.

Why do you want all that?

To become very rich so that

l can sleep with lots of women.

Yes, but what do l stand to gain?

Nothing?

Why didn't you say so in the first place?

Sit down.

Your friend Loserrie is crazy, the man he...

...wants to run against is unbeatable.

Right wing conservatives who think Swiss Banks lean left.

What can he do with it?

Run elsewhere. An unopposed seat.

- l'm sure he can arrange it. Except that... - Except that what?

You need to be more relaxed my boy. Keep breathing.

- Well, what do you think l'm doing? - Deep breaths.

l was saying, l'd be glad to help if l knew...

...what's in it for me.

ls it money you want?

lf l earned another million, the tax man would get it.

A platform for your political message?

Support views without visible connections. lnterest you?

Such as?

- A newspaper. - A newspaper?

A small daily.

A good way to further your political ambitions.

Yes, but hold on now.

l'm willing to give Berthoud 51 % of the shares.

- But, he can't be the editor. - lt can't be you either.

No one would take your editorial seriously.

Well, who?

Why not you?

For example...

l have what he wants. The seat from Bordeaux.

There's a conservative majority, but they're split 7 ways.

With a little luck, it'll be a cinch. Except they're high in debt.

Tell Lourceuil to start reading up on Lenin.

Lenin?

Does he expect me to run with a red flag?

He wants to be a representative or not?

You know, you're making progress.

Relax, my boy. Take a deep breath.

l'm far too busy to read their platform.

You read the 600 damn pages and give me a synopsis.

- Won't that influence your basic style? - My articles?

For the paper.

Editorials.

Take care of that. l want a good job too.

You were right.

- That was fast. - You bet it was.

Now we need a paper that's for sale.

Did they reject your book again?

Yes. And where will you find it?

Oh, l don't know. lt shouldn't be all that complicated.

There's always one going broke somewhere.

- Which one? - l'll have to ask someone.

Who?

Flora?

Flora.

Oh, all right. But not the Chronicle.

lt's the times that you really need.

They print a 100,000 copies per press run.

Not big league journalism but steady.

They maintain a large press run because it looks good.

But their actual sales have flirted with zero...

...for the last few years.

- What's the guys name? The owner of the... - You mean the gal's name.

Her husband made a killing from the poor in Brazil.

Died two or three years ago.

Left her the Times along with the rest.

And what's her name?

Hermenes. l'll arrange a meeting.

That's nice of you.

ln return, walk out on me as if l'd made you angry.

The tall fellow over there, l want to try him out.

lsn't he a bit young?

l'm not influenced by preconceived ideas.

Yes, what is it?

Nichola Mallet, a friend of Flora Danieli.

When you hear the buzzer, push.

Push.! It's open?

Not really.

Push.!

And his death happened in the same way.

Simple and sudden. l couldn't have stayed.

l couldn't go on without him. So l came back.

To dream of lost happiness.

Flora mentioned.

Oh that girl is the most charming.

l just love her like a daughter. But l don't sell my newspaper.

l've arranged for you to see each editor.

Very good. And the Editor-in-Chief?

Oh, Mr Masseran is on leave of absence l'm afraid.

He is? Since when?

- Since last June sir. - June? Why is that?

He's an old, old man, sir.

See that he's given adequate compensation, and let him know...

...there's no reason for his return. - Yes, sir.

Have you seen her since?

Once, she insisted that I pIay cards with her.

Cards?

Casino. She even cheated.

CarefuI there. You're missing an opportunity.

You handed her a heaIthy sum. What's she doing with it?

I don't know. Whatever she wants.

No, no, no. What you want her to.

Return to the casino, break the bank.

Young man, you've made progress.

You only say that to make me feel good.

Oh, by the way, your investments.

Oh, l'm interested. Only for a fortune.

With very good return though.

Gentlemen, l forbid business in our country home.

My wife has enforced that rule 20 years.

So we spend weekends wondering what to talk about.

My uncle amuses himself well. No need to force yourselves.

Malet, go play billiards with my niece.

She's bound to beat you. lt sweetens her disposition.

Lourceuil, is your gardener nuts or something?

lt's Saturday. He waters the lawn. Rain or shine.

- A thousand francs a point, okay? - Can you afford that?

Don't be an ass.

Does your niece live with you?

Such is our luck. Her mother died in childbirth.

Her father was locked in the toilet of the

Trans-Europe express that was derailed.

My turn.

O.K. big shot, let's see what you can do.

Do you want me to come back tomorrow?

Saw that in a film with Paul Newman.

Have you seen it?

l saw it.

ls it O.K.?

lt could be worse.

What's wrong?

How much are you worth?

Uh... . Ten, twelve thousand?

Not very much. l suppose a couple thousand or so.

Paul Shows Spectacular Gains. By Nichola Mallet.

- lf that doesn't please you... - Not complaining. lt's fine.

But 12,000 is petty cash.

lt's time you earn some real money.

How far are you with Madame Hermens.

l invest her money and make a small commission.

She's quite satisfied.

Once in a while l play casino with her.

ln your opinion, what's she worth?

Twenty million or more.

About right.

Are you doing your homework?

lsn't it about time you slept with her?

Oh.

No. She's older than God.

At that age a woman appreciates certain details.

Small attentions.

They can be quite generous, when drawing up the will.

Look. l'm no gigolo.

Such a harsh word for such minor actions.

There's got to be another way.

Another widow blessed with fortune? Okay with me.

l think l can find you one.

There.

Lourceuil’s niece.

And she's got money of her own.

As if she'd give it to you. She's only eighteen.

So what.

- That means you'd have to marry her. - All right, l'll marry her.

No objections.

Time you thought of getting married.

When there's no more use for her...

...you can always divorce.

lt's one or the other.

One or the other.

Well you're an early riser.

- l never went to bed. - You didn't?

l wanted to talk to you.

Yeah, what about?

Well, it's like this. l don't have to tell you how attracted l am.

- So, l thought that... - Sure, fine it's O.K. with me.

lt is?

Nothing better than a good lay before breakfast.

- Oh, well... - Well, do you or don't you?

- Why, of course, l want to. Oh, sure. - l really do like you...

- You can tell me in the sheets. - Come on. Let's go.

No Sabine. l wanted to talk about you and me...

Oh, no.

Yes.

Completely out of the question.

- l don't mind getting laid, but marriage. - You must be joking.

- You really don't want to. - Oh, don't be a pain. l told you no.

Coming?

You'll never know what your refusal costs me.

Yes, what is it?

Nicolas.

Don't, please.

No, don't.

Well, my friend.

Generally my friend, this sort of thing...

...happens when a man is overworked...

...or making too much love.

lf you've made too much love it wasn't with me.

So l'll be charitable and blame it on overwork.

And that's what's so unforgivable.

To get me into town on a Thursday afternoon...

...put up with traffic jams, carbon monoxide...

...just to have a cup of coffee.

l'd appreciate if you'd warn me next time you're overworked.

l won't go out of my way for nothing.

You telling me you only come here because you want to get...

- Yes, that's right. Absolutely. - How about that.

That's right.

When you're in shape, you have a talent...

...worth going out of the way.

Period.

Way things are today, that's saying a lot.

Come over here.

Aren't you going to answer?

l thought you said l worked too hard.

What if it's one of your numerous girl friends?

Nobody knows better, l'm in no condition to entertain her.

- Come here. - Nope.

Come on. Come here.

What if you divorced him?

- l've thought about it. - Really?

Oh, don't sound so pleased.

That was long before l knew you.

Oh, l see.

Why didn't you.

l don't know what he'd do.

Who?

George.

Why, what do you think he'd do?

l can't imagine.

Kiss me.

Where the heII have you been?

They've been IookIng everywhere. They even caIIed here.

- What happened? - His wife died of a heart attack.

We'll need to advise them. So, hurry up.

You skipped out on me, without saying when we'd meet again.

This is my room. Like the paper?

lncredible.

This is the bathroom.

- Uh, huh. - Well, what do you think?

l think it's fine.

But, you haven't said anything.

l've already pointed out one bathroom.

- And so? - There are two of them.

- Two bathrooms. Seen that before? - No. Never.

Julian must think the world of me.

Oh, yes. You might say he'd do anything for you.

Come on, let me show you the rest.

The living room.

Oh, that's great.

Sit down.

Look, isn't that chic?

Stunning.

Julian's going to be on television tonight.

ls anything wrong?

No.

Up next. A discussion of the issues.

Our guests are the opponents of the eIection.

Mr. Alan Belfond and Mr. Julien Lourceuil of the Union of...

Now, what's wrong.

You mean l can't even watch the telelvision?

You want me to go?

Not at all. But l thought if the apartment pleased you...

...you might want to...

What?

He only comes here 2 or 3 times a week.

But that would be impossible. lf l lived here

Lourceuil would know in a matter of days.

Yes, l know. You are right.

lt would have been super though.

Yes.

How have you been doing?

Fine.

lt can never be the same again.

They don't stand up If you compare them.

They're the governments Iatest fIgures, Lourceuil.

You'd think he combed his hair with an egg-beater.

l went over it. We won't even meet the payroll.

How much?

Same as last month: 100,000.

- l'll get hold of it. How's sales. - Not any better.

The printer has to be paid in 30 days or we're in for a lawsuit.

l know, thank you.

- ls that all you have to say? - What?

Oh, l don't know, you're in charge of this rag.

You throw in a lot of crap about politics.

Some guy with the House of Representatives.

The rag is going under and you don't care.

l believe you are head accountant here.

Yes Sir, l'm aware it's none of my business.

However, you want to sell copy, there's a way...

...you haven't tried yet.

ls that so?

There's no point telling readers what you want.

-lt's what they want to hear that sells. -What's simpler?

l want to talk to after the elections.

- Not being sacked? - You'll get a raise.

- How much? - Whatever you want.

Hello.

Hello Tanya. How're you feeling?

Bad's how l feel. Always alone with bad thoughts.

With nobody to talk to me.

When do l see you?

- Tonight? - Tomorrow.

What are Lourceuil and Berthoud up to?

l don't know. Are they up to something?

You bet they are.

There's a real estate scandal brewing.

That explains his eagerness for electing Lourceuil.

Well, come along and give me the details.

lt will be serious if the story gets around.

And the Senator could bring it up any day now.

What Senator?

Lustain.

We'll just have to buy him.

No one can buy Lustain.

That's annoying.

O.K. What do you want?

51 % of the paper's shares without Lustain knowing.

l also want him elected.

l'll make lots of money if l keep Lustain quiet.

That's just what l was thinking.

But he's completely incorruptible.

He never gambles, touches drugs or booze.

- He has a wife, six kids. - l know, l know.

So?

So?

l adore corrupting the incorruptible.

From the newsroom, the Iatest eIectIon returns.

WIth 63% of the precIncts reportIng the race appears over.

46% for Lourceuil.

There's no way he can lose.

l know.

Oh, it's a sad day for Madame Hermens.

lt's too soon.

Why, we can do without her now.

- l'm not sure. You might have to wait. - What for?

O.K. Why not? Get rid of her.

Go on, do it.

Tanya, l've got a surprise for you.

Tanya?

You could have waited a little longer.

l'll give you complete control on 2 conditions.

One, there will be no staff changes.

Two, expenses in publication don't increase more than 10%.

Layouts will bear my signature.

We'll go on carrying Mr. Lourceuil’s editorials.

As our own?

- Hello Gentlemen. - Hello.

Our new Editor-in-Chief, Vishenko.

We'll finish our talk later.

- lf l'm disturbing... - Don't worry, friend, the worst is over.

Strange.

How's the new congressman?

Fine. Just fine.

- l'd like to discuss a rather delicate subject. - l'm listening.

Very delicate.

ln that case. Sit down.

Would you be shocked if l remarried.

What time is it?

11:30.

- Lourceuil wants to marry you. - Are you angry?

Of course not.

l did what you said. Why should you be?

Do you love me?

Sure, l love you.

You want some coffee?

Want some rolls?

l got the keys to a friends apartment.

- You want to join me there? - Shhh.

Close your eyes.

Can't you see my eyes are closed.

l can't see a thing.

Neither can l with my eyes closed.

You cheater. You promised.

What are you going to call him?

l don't know yet.

George wants to call him Alexander. Doesn't seem to matter.

You should call him Francois.

Well, don't you like Francois?

Yes.

Well what's the big hurry.

lt's five o'clock.

Your expectant mistress has a family waiting.

You coming with me to the bus stop?

No, l'm pouting.

O.K. Have it your way.

When firemen go by, it's time for lovers to separate.

Stay a little longer.

See you. Don't be too unfaithful.

Sorry, but l'm still terribly old fashioned.

You O.K.?

O.K.

Nasty mess.

Yeah.

There's a message.

Mrs. Hermens' attorney is looking for you.

What does he want?

Your friend left her house to you.

l expected more. But at least it's something.

Yeah, at least it's something.

- Afternoon Mr. Mallet. - Good-afternoon, Denise.

Hello Nicolas.

Denise would you put these in a vase and on the piano.

- You know he's simply furious. - ls he?

You will go easy on him won't you?

Now that he's a representative, everything is so serious.

lt really kills him.

Hello.

What do you call that?

On my front page?

l've heard from all my friends.

The Speaker-of-the-house even on the phone.

By the way. Where's my editorial?

Where'd you put it?

Page 11 .

After the obituaries.

After the obituaries?

That issue had a press run of a quarter million.

A quarter million? You don't mean it.

lt's been sold out for hours.

Well l'll be. That's marvelous.

Are you keeping the cost down?

l reduced the staff by half.

- l hired from agencies. - And the ads. They coming.

l have more than l can use.

Fabulous!

But, there's just one thing...

What?

Don't put me with the obituaries again.

l'll be in town tomorrow to do some shopping.

Pick me up at six o'clock.

You moved into a new place, l hear.

That's right.

Did you pay a lot for it?

- The house? - A fortune.

l'd love to kiss you right now.

Not here.

You know with Julian. ln bed. lt's finished.

Right. Print it.

What come after that? What's for next week?

Jackie Onassis, separated from children.

She sent them off on a skiing vacation.

Hmm. Right. And after that?

Bridget Bardot enters a convent.

Yeah, what's the story there.

Some crap. She was visiting a cousin works in the kitchen.

And then what?

Princess Margaret has a child with two heads.

Two heads.

Yes.

- I put your caII through SIr. - Mr. Fabre?

Yes, on two.

An artist did a portrait of the kid with two heads. ls that it?

That's it.

Sold. Thanks.

Hello, Fabre? What's become of you?

l haven't heard from you in quite a while.

What's that?

A check.

The newspaper is selling like hot-cakes.

Lourceuil’s two companies are minting money,

there's a decent return, thanks to you.

So what. l didn't want to make money out of it.

- l know that but take it. - What do you want me to do with it?

Whatever you like.

Did you see that?

Shirley Douglas is in town for the premiere of her latest film.

Know what l did after school every afternoon?

No.

l used to go to the headmaster's for tutoring.

l even flunked Latin so l could be tutored.

That way l could see Marie-Therese Cauchet

the daughter of the headmaster.

You know what you could do for me?

To make me happy.

Screw her.

lt won't be easy. She thought she was pretty hot.

So by now...

lt won't be a Marie-Paule. She won't be like Flora.

Don't try to understand. Just do what l ask.

After l come back and tell you the whole thing?

That's right.

Now you've slept with a star.

Disappointed, eh?

Yes.

But it wasn't the star l wanted to sleep with.

lt wasn't?

When your father was headmaster, remember the student...

...that came to your house every afternoon?

l'm afraid not, sweetie. There were so many.

- Are you the one? - No.

l wonder what became of the headmaster's daughter.

We parted ways long ago.

You know, it's a pretty weird joint you've got.

lt's an inheritance.

Here.

Do you mind calling me a taxi.

-May l come in? -Of course.

He's at the hospital.

He had a stroke early this morning.

- Been in a coma ever since. - Lourceuil?

Doctor said he'll never regain consciousness.

Want something to drink?

No thanks.

You shouldn't be here.

There's one thing l should tell you about.

lt wasn't important before.

But now...

Julian's going to die. And l'll be rich.

For the rest of my life. l'll be alone.

What are you talking about?

He left me all his money... on one condition.

That l must never remarry.

No.

Why would he do a thing like that?

Jealousy old boy.

Did you change your aftershave? Or did you have a visitor?

The housekeeper was here.

Balmain?

- Know what a housekeeper costs these days? - A house?

Lourceuil won't pull through.

Perfect.

Madam Hermens. Lourceuil. His wife. Groult. His...

lt's a massacre.

Nobody ever dies these days, except in comedies.

With Lourceuil l figure it will be a bit longer.

Marie-Paule's coming over to see me.

No, why?

No reason.

You still have to take the most important step. To marry her.

- Marie-Paule? - lt's obvious.

With all you've got, the fortune Lourceuil will have left her...

...practically nothing can stop you.

There we are.

There we are.

And then what?

Then what?

l marry Marie-Paule, end up even richer. And then what?

l don't know, maybe you'll be...

You'll... buy up the stock exchange, railroads, something.

How do l know what you'll do then?

This calls for a drink.

- Andras. Champagne. - Champagne?

The best you've got.

We're now selling a million copies a day.

ls that right?

How's Shirley Douglas?

lmpossible to make her.

Let's hear about it.

No, no. You're right. Wasn't born yesterday. Tried everything.

No way to screw beautiful Shirley Douglas?

Absolutely not.

To tell you the truth.

l prefer it that way.

You do?

Here's to Shirley Douglas.

The headmaster's daughter.

And to you. And to Marie-Paule.

No, no. Let me pay.

- No, it's my treat. - No, no. l'll take care of it.

l'm paying for it! Do you know why?

l asked you to do one thing for me...

...and you wouldn't do it.

So long.

You were lying.

That's right.

lt cost me a cocktail party, a page one...

...drug story scandal, and a diamond necklace.

Well?

Shirley Douglas is beautiful, but empty inside.

O.K.

l'll come by tomorrow.

l won't be here.

l'm going on vacation.

Move aside.

What happened?

He blew his brains out behind the cafe.

You wanted to see me?

Tomorrow's front page.

Claude Flabert's dead.

The great lecturer/novelist took his life & you put...

No one asked for your opinion, Vishenko.

A guy puts a bullet through his head...

Front page! Like that.

l wouldn't...

Vishenko, l want that item printed...

...on the front page on the following reason:

l'm the owner of this gaddamn rag and that's what l want!

l know the pin-heads don't want to read this sort of thing.

l don't give a damn.

They're going to hear about Claude Flabert...

...because that is what l want!

ls that absolutely clear?

Absolutely.

We'll stop the press.

l'll scrap the old front page, print a new one.

- In the loft. Up on the right there. - Thank you.

Jerome. Do you remember me?

No.

You a good boy?

Yes.

- Good-bye. - Good-bye.

Afterwards if you want...

...we can look at the trains.