All language subtitles for Hurt.By.Paradise.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x264-[YTS.MX]-English

[gentle piano music]

Provided by explosiveskull
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M_I_SForEver

[Celeste clears throat]

[Celeste sighing]

[Celeste Speaking] Okay, right.

This is what I'm gonna do.

Practice.

The unbearable night, the night
building that washes water,

the night wind that sounds
like trapped radiator spirits.

The night red light mill.

[gentle piano music]

And what's that other French
surrealist writer called?

Paul Eluard?

Or is it Elua?

Do you pronounce the d?

E-L-U-A.

The night full of ship's tears,

the night window, the pains.

Ah shit!

Thought I edited that line out.

[gentle piano music]

The night full of ship's tears,

and the mystery that
calls you old fashioned.

The water you had
planned under the ground,

to save a generation.

The night walls that
shudder flowers,

the equal distances from
arms and closed eyes.

And the gardens that
make a city wide.

Yeah, it's definitely the one
I'm gonna read to him first.

[Celeste sighs]

Okay, here we go.

You can do it.

Just think of them
on the toilet.

[Celeste footsteps approaching]

Oh, and remember to
read the poems slowly.

And make eye contact.

Okay, breathe.

[Celeste sighs]

[paper rustling]

[phone ringing]

Fitzer radio group

Submissions?

Yeah, well actually I
don't deal with those.

Okay, when did you send that?

And the title was?

"Think Fast, The
Future is a Rapid Dog."

No.

Well, I think I might
have remembered that one.

[chuckles]

No, okay, all right
thank you very much.

[hangs up the phone]

[sighing]

Celeste

Oh, Jonathan.

Hi.

Hi.

Tea?

Oh, ahhh no, I'm
fine, thank you.

So, have you got
something to show me?

Such an honor.

Oh.

Just let me.

- And there was...
- Aha, mmmh.

Ooh and there was...

No no ahah.

You know, Celeste
my father left us,

it was just me, my mom
and my little brother.

We only started
speaking last year.

Oh no, my father didn't leave us

he's just having a break.

This book is more of an ode
to him than a revenge book

if you know what I mean.

Well, I guess it's
a universal feeling.

Loss, longing.

Maybe I could read you one.

No, I have to read
poetry into myself

in my own private space.

"Hurt by Paradise."

I like it.

Most of these poems
are like memories

that have haunted
me in some way.

You know, people
expect you to have hate

if someone just leaves
without dying, but I don't.

I get it...

Well, I'm sure what you've
written is impactful.

There are little boys
and girls everywhere

in the same position coming
of age, so important.

But it's not gonna sell.

Ooh

Is just so hard to get
a serious poet's name

to stick in people's heads.

I mean, unless they
die in some tragic way.

Look at Sylvia Plath.

A genius her whole life
and practically ignored,

until she stuck her
head in the oven.

Do you think Ted didn't try hard

to push Sylvia
when she was alive.

He knew she was great.

I bet he raved about her at
feybar, cheese and wine parties

all over Fitzrovia.

Just one measly collection

was all that was
published in her lifetime.

No one gave a shit.

Then one sultry, obituary
photo in the Times

and bang, Ariel
and the Bell Jar.

Which makes me
think your next move

should be adapting
this into a novel.

But it's perfect.

It's like if I remove one word

the whole thing would collapse.

You know that Emma Morris book,

has been translated into
30 different languages,

and the rights have been
bought to be made into a movie.

She's made millions.

You could always do
poetry on the side.

She's in the top 10 international
bestsellers list now.

Publishers are struggling.

We all are.

I can barely afford my
children's school fees.

The middle class has gone.

Look, I really do admire
your determination.

Why don't you, think about
what I said and keep in touch.

How does that sound?

Harriet Toodie on line two.

[gentleman Speaking] Aah, great,

just finishing here.

Yeah, well I must dash,
I've actually got a meeting.

Been speaking to a couple
of publishers directly.

There really is a new
revolution of writers and poets

who just, you know, aren't
afraid to put it out there.

Exactly.

Oh, I better go.

- Okay.
- Okay.

It's been really inspiring.

Thanks.

I truly admire your spirit.

Right.

[laughs]

There you are.

Yes, we have some news.

[Celeste] That's so patronizing.

Why don't we just
re-work it into a novel?

Re-work it into a bunch of lies.

Think I'm conformist.

"Yeah yeah, have you
hear of Emma Morris?

Emma Morris."

No I've not heard
of Emma Morris.

[soft piano music]

[phone ringing]

Hi, dad it's Celeste.

Wait do I say dad?

[womans voice] Hello.

Fuck this is useless

Never gonna find him.

[phone ringing]

[door knocking]

Come in, it's open.

Hey Jimmy?

Hey.

Hi.

[soft piano music]

Had the worst day,
Jimmy slept all morning.

So I managed to get some
reading done in the library

but then he woke up
in the worst mood.

He threw everything
on the floor.

Oh, and you owe me
another 12 pounds.

It started raining and he
didn't have his rain coat,

so I got him this one, from
the charity shop over the road.

All right, that's fine.

Let me just have a...

Is it okay if I pay you Friday?

♪ warm as the setting sun... ♪

Everything lives unearthed.

Tiny cups and
scissors hung over.

Lilly's in heaven, marching
in glass, on the table.

Our child arranging the sky.

Sleeping between the
doorway, blue garments.

An ocean on the bedroom floor.

Your scent a kind of
black under heaven,

all raging and soft, breaking
the tracks of summer.

A chapel in the fourth wall.

Always lit up and nursing.

[soft music]

♪ Warm as the setting sun... ♪

We barely notice the ceiling
falling onto our bed.

Emptying out the aerial stars,

that have trapped our
whole lives till now.

Walked with us through hysteria,

and trees made in
the empty muse.

We live in one room, the
BT Tower our lighthouse.

We have become two mothers.

We have become two mothers.

♪ From the pouring rain. ♪

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

[Celeste] Can I just read
you these four lines?

Just feel like, they
really explain the world,

Jimmy is gonna have to live in.

Just four lines.

God is bored of us now.

She sides with the
animals and the weather,

and they watch on
digital alien rampage,

with cool, sad eyes.

What do you think?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's really,
what's that word?

I could have paid these

if I got accepted onto
that medical trial.

They tried to give me the flu
but apparently I'm immune.

Do you think it's mad.

I've been looking at all the
Blackwoods in the phone book

to find my father again.

These are the ones I could find.

He left when I was five.

I mean the mad thing
is I don't even know

what he looks like now.

Actually, I've got this
old picture of him.

Wow.

If it helps, I could pretend
to be you on the phone.

I've always been
really good at voices.

I could just pick up
the phone and be like,

Hi yah its Celeste.

No no no, I would
never say hi yah.

You are such a snob.

Oh now it gets tense.

[chattering]

Do you think about those
papooses from to go?

Yeah you sweat it from here.

Yes

[dramatic upbeat music]

It's raining.

I love your dress, pink
is my favorite color.

My entire wardrobe is black.

Oh my god, if was that
woman, I'm mental.

Grabala grabala.

What's that?

Grabala.

What?

That was a grabala.

The night building
which washes water.

The night wind, which sounds
like trapped radiator spirits.

- The red light mill...
- Do you mind,

can we hold it off
I need to kinda go.

Can we do it tomorrow?

♪ Who ate my crispy lettuce, ♪

♪ Who, ♪

♪ But who, but who put it on
my plate, but who but who. ♪

♪ A slimy slug, ♪

♪ A slimy slug, ♪

♪ A slimy a slimy slug. ♪

No, I think its fine.

I'm not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's son.

♪ Macaroni macaroni cheese. ♪

♪ Cheese. ♪

I think you can stop now.

[soft music]

looks quite good.

Bit of tree.

[paper ripping]

[writing]

[Woman] Never know if
they read them anyway.

I'll send it again.

[soft music]

Just do that.

Hi.

You don't have to be here all
the time I'm here, you know.

I don't wanna put it in there.

Darling that's what's for.

You have to put the mail here.

I did it once before
it didn't get there.

Can I just put it in your bag?

No that's my bag.

I don't want to put it in there.

I just, put it with the others.

Give it to me.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

In the bag.

There we go.

I'll see you next week.

I didn't know, you know
I did fucking Brexit.

You know the Brexit?

Yeah.

I don't know how
long I gonna be here.

- Bye.
- None of us do.

Bye.

[gentle piano music]

[Celeste] How can I
owe her 400 pounds?

She only looks after
him few hours a week.

[gentle piano music]

[door shuts]

I brought your notes.

Mine always has the
hair always rubs.

Oh, you've got such
beautiful hands.

I tried to pretend
I was dyslexic,

so I could get the free laptop.

They called me out when I
spelled substantiation right.

By the way, there's a party
next week, you should come.

Ooh yeah great.

Can I bring my baby?

[chuckles]

Poetry should
challenge the form.

It should challenged the
world like Sylvia Plath.

Not just regurgitate this
self affirmation rubbish.

I just thought, fuck it,
I'm gonna write my own book.

Yeah, It's all about
breaking boundaries.

For me it was first time
I went down on a woman.

What was it like?

It was terrible, but
it felt so right.

I spent hours constructing witty

and sensitive
sonnets to Vanessa.

And then would send them like
they were spontaneous texts.

No wonder she ran for the hills.

I'm sure she wasn't running,
I'm sure she was scared.

No no no she was sprinting.

[Woman] Hi, Aah baby.

Hey.

[kissing]

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

I'm Celeste.

[women chattering]

It's so nice to
see people in love.

Awww are we in love?

[chuckles]

Stop it you're
gonna make me blush.

[gentle piano music]

We found out that Leonard
Cohen died this morning,

and the world was
reminded of poetry.

Pale domes of white light,
down the Tottenham court road.

Selfies everywhere.

Down the Tottenham Court road,

all trapped up in tree light.

Sad in a way,

that we only look back on
people's work when they die.

Do you think, you should
try and live your life,

so you have an
exciting obituary?

I mean, what does it matter.

You're dead.

Wait, that could be him.

[gentle piano music]

This is ridiculous.

I'm actually turning
into a lunatic.

No he looks far too young.

Plus would my father,
wear a trilby?

This is getting weird now.

I feel like I'm following
a private detective.

Anyway, where was I?

[door knocking]

[piano playing]

Hi.

Hi.

Hi Jimmy?

Hi.

Did he have his
breakfast already?

He had it about six
o'clock this morning,

so he'll probably be
hungry quite soon.

Okay, I'm gonna leave you.

All right, I'll see you at 5:30

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Have a good one.

[baby crying]

Bye.

I'll be back soon.

I love you.

[baby whining]

They've got rose gardens here.

Where'd she move to.

It's like a country club.

[gentle piano music]

Look at all these trees.

It's like Mary Poppins.

[Woman] Mayonnaise with that,

you're disgusting.

Put it back in the fridge.

Wait wait wait, I'm
not done with it.

[grunts] She's so anal.

You know, I just got
off the phone with mom.

She's been complaining
about her art show again,

saying that they've been
plotting to do meetings

behind her back.

God she's so ridiculous.

There's always some kind of
like conspiracy with her.

Anyway, I've been thinking

and me and Steven want
to put you and Jimmy

on our private health insurance.

Health insurance?

Isn't that what the NHS is for.

But you never know
what might happen.

And like, I've got all these
joint problems already.

You know, from the ballet.

[chuckles]

Okay, morbid Maude.

I've told you before don't
ever call me that again.

What?

Morbid Maude.

She knows I love morbid people.

[dog panting]

Oh, I love this.

Oh not that one.

I didn't mean to put that one
in there, leave that one out.

What's this?

This one's so romantic.

I can't believe you
don't get lonely.

No, I do sometimes.

I mean, you like being alone.

You're like mum, I need someone.

If anything I am like dad.

What?

A self obsessed hypocrite.

I mean, every time
I try and be myself,

I just genuinely don't
know what happens.

English boys are so repressed.

I would be happy if Jimmy cried

over the beauty
of a single Rose.

I used to hate dating.

Never had the nerve for it.

Maybe I'm a psychopath.

You should speak
to Steven about it.

He'd love that.

Oh, we don't want him knowing
all our family secrets though.

[Steven] Hello.

Hi.

How are you?

Fine thank you.

Stop

Oh she doesn't mind, does she?

How are you Celeste?

Don't know.

Sorry, we don't have
cups on the floor.

Oh sorry.

No its good.

Just not the wood or the
rug or the rug for cup.

[laughs]

- No, no, its fine its fine.
- God he's so anal.

The dogs and everything's fine.

That's right.

Did you get the invitation
to my book launch?

No.

Right, well, we're gonna
do it at Waterstones,

in High street Ken.

- Oh cool.
- Yeah it's gonna be good.

Should be very
cool, very exciting.

So what's the title again?

"How to be Happy in
the Modern World."

You'd be amazed at how
many people struggle

to find happiness
with someone honestly.

Let alone themselves right.

[laughs]

You should do some Work
experience with Steven.

Yeah, no, sure, we'd squeeze you

into a corner for
a couple of hours.

We'd find your space to, you
know, do some scribbling.

But the good thing
that you'd have

with coming in with us
just for a couple of hours,

is not to put too
fine a point on it.

But we do the grown
up side, you know

we do the business end and
we do the creative end.

And it's the kind
of realism sometimes

of putting those two cogs
together and seeing how they work.

It's all well and good,
you know great stuff

that you're conjuring up there.

But we need to figure a way
to get it to our readership,

to get it to our
target audience,

which is often you
know, the actual,

that's the hard stuff.

That's the bread
and butter work.

So from that perspective

I think it would be
invaluable to be honest

for you to come in
with us for a day.

And as long as you're all
right with alpha males

which you all know
what it's like.

Do you think you'd
be up for that?

To be honest, you know, you
can't really teach poetry.

You can't really teach pain.

It's just something you
just can't, you know

it's you either understand
the other world or you don't.

I've been thinking we should
get your keys cuts to our flat.

That's a nice idea.

I'll give you a spare to mine.

Then if he's driving you mad,

you can just drop
him up in my flat,

in the middle of the night.

Then we already will be like

a kind of dysfunctional
little family.

I actually don't
think you need a man

to look after a child.

But you definitely
need two women.

Oh yeah.

[child screaming]

[child crying]

Oh sorry.

- [child crying]
- Are you okay now?

[child crying]

I think some people are
just afraid of poetry maybe.

I don't know, every time
I tell anyone I'm a poet

they just sort of think
you're really pretentious.

[Woman] Like you can afford
to do it on the side.

I think the English
used to see it

as a hobby or something,

like gardening or I
don't know, making soup.

[chuckling]

I did do this TV advert once,

it was meant to be thousands.

Never came through.

Nothing?

Just snacks.

It was for a biscuit brand.

Wow.

[Woman] They duped me.

Anything good?

A few toilet rolls,
toothpaste, some sunscreen.

Yeah.

Some stickers for Jimmy.

Can we do it tomorrow?

No no no, wait,
this is a good bit.

The night wind that sounds
like trapped radiator spirits.

Trapped radiator spirits.

The night building that pains,

the night red light mill.

I've really gotta go.

Jimmy loves it.

Don't you Jimmy?

♪ Goodnight, goodnight. ♪

Actually, can I get
that eight pounds

you owe me for nappies.

Oh yeah, sure.

A second.

[fumbling keys]

Don't worry actually
give it to me tomorrow.

[soft music]

♪ Don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ don't waste the things
that you might do, ♪

♪ and I love you so. ♪

♪ Don't waste your bus fare, ♪

♪ don't waste your bus fare, ♪

♪ don't waste the
places you might go ♪

♪ and I want you now. ♪

♪ There's a cold
tune, in my heart. ♪

♪ There's a cold
tune, in my heart. ♪

I literary haven't seen you
in ages, you look amazing.

Where is your coat from?

I wasn't gonna come
tonight, I'm so tired.

Do you have any tobacco,
I really want some.

Does anyone have any tobacco?

I wanted to ask you what
it's like being a mother.

Why are you dressed as a pilot?

I am a pilot.

Duchamp is a lie.

He was a master of irony.

Everything I make has a
connection to politics.

There is no connection
to politics and Duchamp.

What I hear about people

is they get bored
of magic so easily.

It's all about the
masterful gesture.

You're traveling through the
sky at 500 miles an hour,

chasing the sunset from
London to New York.

And all you can do is complain
about the chicken Curry.

I mean, you're a mammal

eating the soul of a
dead bird in the sky,

up there in the space of angels.

They have no humility.

They've got no sense of magic
and no sense of perspective.

Nonsense.

The man was a genius.

He invented conceptual art.

And I've heard a lot of people
compare my work to Duchamp.

It's about the
sentence, the object

and the title make together.

I sold one to George Michael.

I see a lot up there, you know.

You get amazing views of
the stars at dusk and Dawn.

Yeah.

One of the perks of my job.

It's incredible.

Do you wanna get a drink?

I've ruined my forehead
and everything.

I looked into
getting fillers once.

You can get them really
cheap in Austria.

What do you think?

Remember this one director,

he told me my face
was too ad hoc.

I'm excited about
meeting Roman though.

Shall we take a photo?

Hold it.

[slow music]

My father, a continual
electrical trail,

where love comes to retire.

Where love comes to suspend.

A bewitched symbol,
a gentle stage.

A boat and bellowing mines.

And on the walk home,
the child behind you

turns on all the lights.

All your ruins move
closer to my ruins,

a whole country.

And we begin, you by the door

unable to understand
the frantic English.

The Half cut wood, you dream
to make a doll's house,

where we could live.

But we can't go backwards.

We can't step into
the same river twice.

[soft music]

I think this is the first
summer of the apocalypse.

Do you feel that?

Desert wind.

I wanna tell you
something actually.

I'm seeing someone, he's
called Roman, he's a writer.

What?

It's been a year.

How do I not know about this?

We write, every night.

Is he a good kisser?

Well, actually it's
an online thing.

So you haven't actually met?

No.

Every night for a year though,
that's a deep connection.

I think it's the best
relationship I've ever had.

I guess is kind of modern.

Online.

[piano playing]

Oh I knew it.

A winner is just a loser
who tried one more time.

Ah, where is it, where
is it, where is it.

[flipping papers]

Hero itself can
blot heroes virtue.

what man was, he talked
about you last night.

Out your window, the
12th and the last one.

Now, if you are a
maid answer this.

I talked with no man
at that hour, my Lord.

Why?

You are no maiden.

[soft music playing]

Celeste, I'm coming
down, stay there!

It's this unhinged
middle-aged woman

and X show girl,
having a second life.

She's had a nervous breakdown.

She hooks up with this cult
almost, radical thinkers.

They run a commune from
her flat in Highgate.

I mean it's brilliant.

Oh my God Its made for you.

It means I need you to come
back early on Monday though.

Oh yeah, that's fine
I'll be back in time.

Don't worry.

Okay Great.

Can I read you the
monologue for the audition?

I'm no fool.

I can be a tad dopey though.

Dopiness is first, and
then we have the list.

Wave, headstrong,
self-centered, fat,

ugly, tactless, mean and
cruel and I am also a liar.

[piano playing]

[wind blowing]

[audio from the lift]

Hi.

Oh, hi am in here.

Jimmy go in there.

Jimmy's here.

Darling, you help me a bit,

I've just about done a bit.

Just a little bit at the back.

Just a second.

Darling just fit.

I just put it down.

Just there for God's sake.

I think towards the top.

- Have you got enough there?
- I think you're done mum.

Yeah.

Put it down for God's sake.

Hideous.

[Celeste] Do you have
anything to snack on?

I can hardly afford to
feed myself, you as well.

Well, we haven't eaten
together in ages have we.

The amount of meals
I've cooked for you.

Have you been going around
telling everyone how awful I am.

Sure Mom.

That's exactly what
I've been doing.

Exactly.

Just so feed up, people just
taking pictures of anything.

What do you mean?

Oh.

No privacy, I can't do
anything without someone

sneakily puting pictures
of me on the internet.

Oh, mum not this again.

Well, that's why I didn't
want anyone coming over.

Okay.

Well what about me and Jimmy?

You and Jimmy, well you
are not people are you?

Not you, that other lot

that you bring over here.

Wafting in here with all
their bloody frizzy hair.

That one, you know.

Oh Stella.

Oh Stella yeah, that one.

Came in here and ate
everything in my fridge.

It's not frizzy, it's just big.

Oh anyway, she's too fat.

Okay Mom, why don't we
go out for a nice walk?

Why would I want
to go for a walk?

For Christ's sake I've
just done my hair,

I'm not going out like
some crazed mother.

Well, it might be nice

for you to spend
some time with Jimmy,

you are his grandma.

I've told you do not.

Not to call you grandma.

I don't want to be
called grandma you know.

God's sake, do you know how
awful it is being a grandma?

Grandma.

And you've got your little
Jimmy calling me nanny.

I don't want to be called nanny.

Well-

I don't know what
you're laughing for,

its not even bloody funny.

What do you want to be called
I've asked you this before.

I don't know but I don't want
to be called nanny, nanny.

Okay, Well, why
don't we just call-

Yes.

Elly or something.

Granny Elly.

No no no, granny bloody,

I just said, I don't want to...

That's even worse
than nanny, granny.

Christ's sake.

I'm gonna see if he's awake.

Go lie down that's right,
Ellie would be nice.

Not bloody nanny.

[piano playing]

How's that going?

I don't know maybe,
two more weeks.

How about yours?

I don't know mine still hasn't
grown back since last time.

Let me take a look.

You're lucky.

Are you gonna tell people
what they really are?

This is our DNA
our family history,

our family's material toenails.

Joseph boys had to
apologize for using that.

What about dad?

He's half of me.

Oh shit I mean its a lie.

I mean, one minute
it's a gallery,

the next its a blood art cafe.

He misspelled my
name on Twitter.

Can you believe that?

[breaths in]

You can't rely on anyone.

And you know it's
not very feminist

to keep banging on about
your absent father.

Now what's been going on?

Well I submitted a
couple of new poems

for a few literary prizes.

I might make some cash.

We can't just live off a prize,

I mean, most of those
things are rigged anyway

just posh people's godsons.

You're not gonna win.

Mind you, if you do
you get some cash.

I wouldn't mind
going on a cruise.

On a cruise?

Where would you go?

Fantastic cruises now,
all around the Caribbean.

God, I couldn't think
of anything worse.

Oh, you're just not mature
enough to get it darling.

I am mature.

I just don't wanna
be stuck on a boat

with a bunch of idiots.

Are you depressed?

No.

Why do we think the
angels are people,

and not just the sunlight

observing its place
over the world.

Siren angel placement.

She was once the most
beautiful woman in the world.

Her veins were
made from sundials.

[piano playing]

This year, the Indian YMCA,
has Christmas decorations.

All ropy.

A silvering choker,
backed onto the corner,

of Fitzroy square.

Floating foreign light, like
it too it has forgotten itself.

Still it stays open.

Ah for God sakes.

It stays open.

Actually he's a splitting
image of my father.

He's got that intellect behind
the eyes, always thinking.

[Celeste] Now where was I?

All that is free kills you now.

Wait, is that too dark?

All that is free kills you now.

My father-

[woman] Boys are terrorists.

Well yeah, it gets better.

All around London,
annotates, the dead parties.

The insides of houses,
a Greyhound runner.

And you stay beside me
looking back up to me.

Asking about the sky and
why we dream at night.

Your love is like a seashell,
a rare pull in to paradise.

I'm still surprised by it.

[water running]

[piano playing]

dinner?

[piano playing]

Hey.

I've got a date with that pilot.

You don't mind baby
sitting on Tuesday, do you?

No, Tuesday's fine.

As long as you can
pay me this week,

I need the extra cash for
the broadband upgrade.

My wifi signal reaches
you upstairs doesn't it?

Yeah, I know.

But, me and Roman are
really serious now,

so I need a serious
wifi connection.

Oh.

I've gotta go I'll
see you later.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[door slams]

Piles of lands,
with seesaw heads.

Unforgiving night.

I don't know if its any good.

[baby crying]

[soft music playing]

Is it Jeffrey Blackwood?

Blackwood, like a
black wood, woodland.

Jeffery lives here?

I wanted to know if
there was any association

with my father.

[Woman] Well, you don't
know, he could be Spanish.

That's a good point, I'll ask.

Although, I don't
feel like he is.

I sort of imagine a young
David Attenborough type.

That's just crazy
that you don't know.

You honestly learn
so much about someone

from the way they write.

I think it's refreshing,
It's not about looks.

I don't know,

I feel like you just have
to get everything out

in the first meeting.

Everything out?

Like a business transaction.

No, I mean like, do
everything, say everything,

and then you know, if it's
worth pursuing or not.

[baby Mumbling]

There you go.

[brushing teeth]

[Celeste] Hi.

Hi,

nice to see you.

Nice to see you.

You came, I didn't think you'd
reply to my texts actually.

Oh.

Just, it was a bit
of a wild party,

I thought maybe you wouldn't
remember much of it.

So well, Celeste.

Tell me about yourself.

Don't mention the poetry.

Just released a book about
poetry about losing my father.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh no, he's not dead.

Pretty sure he lives in Finchley
but that's another story.

Right.

That's your thing, poetry?

Yeah, well, people
always, you know

go on about losing a parent.

You know when parents
split up that's pain,

but for me, pain was childbirth.

Of course Ryan wasn't
there to witness it.

He was on the ferry to
Dover, no phone reception.

I mean, to be honest, it
was a bit of a blessing.

It was more of a
biological connection,

than a soul connection,
if you know what I mean.

So you've got a child?

Hmm.

Oh.

- Just say something funny.
- Oh, right.

- So where is the kid now?
- I left him at home

with a bottle of
champagne and a spliff.

Huh, funny.

Do you know what
you'd like to order?

Actually, can you give
us a few minutes please?

Okay.

Bit of a first for me
this, if I'm honest.

Oh, is it the
single mother thing?

No, it's not that
it's coming back here.

This is the restaurant where
my wife broke up with me.

I was away flying the
Pacific and I come home

and she's been away in one of
those silent retreat things.

She spent five days living

in a room with this
70 year old guy,

like sort of self-styled
guru, dodgy, dodgy,

pretentious twat.

And that was it
though, she moved out.

I mean she moved
out the next week.

You guys ready to order?

Yeah I guess.

How does the carpaccio come?

Cold.

Well.

- I probably-
- Here we are then I guess.

Yeah.

Well, I'm gonna, was
the tube that way?

Ill get you in a cab. I should
at least get you in a taxi

to make sure you get home safe.

Oh no there is no
need, there is no need.

I feel better that way, its
the least I can do I think.

Hold on.

There is one there I'll Just
get it, I'll just get it.

I don't know if I have any cash.

Oh okay.

[engine roaring]

[car door slams]

Bye,

bye,

bye.

Excuse me, I'm really sorry,
I don't have any money,

he put me in here.

[driver] That's alright darling.

Ahh thanks.

[driver] You gonna be all right?

Yeah am just gonna have
to walk and get the tube.

Sorry.

[car door slams]

[piano playing]

[keyboard typing]

[piano playing]

[Celeste footsteps approaching]

[piano playing]

Hello?

Darling.

An angel.

You are divine.

Thanks.

Sit, sit.

Is this a good time?

I was expecting you.

[breathing in]

That'll be a fiver.

Oh yeah, sorry.

[clears throat]

I'm gonna need
something precious,

something that's
quite close to you.

Like a piece of jewelry
or a photograph.

Its precious.

[breathing in and out]

[breathing in and out]

I need you to
focus on your life.

Think about the things
that you want to know.

[humming]

It's your time.

Everything is coming to you.

Forget about the past,
your world is changing.

This is you.

It is?

It has a big event coming up.

Something that you're
looking forward to.

Yeah, I'm on my way now.

That's life changing.

You're on a stage,

the curtains
haven't come up yet.

You're just hovering
above the ground,

like being held, like
by a piece of string.

But instead it is the
power of true love

that holds you up there.

What's that noise?

What is that?

Jimmy.

Jimmy, Jimmy, yes Jimmy,
yes that's a family.

Roman?

[bell rings]

[upbeat music]

So selfish,
sabotaging my big day.

It's a bloody poetry thing.

[upbeat music]

shit, this way come on.

[baby crying]

Too late now.

Oh hi, am here for the audition.

[Woman Speaking]
Hi, come on through.

[footsteps approaching]

[baby crying]

Oh hi.

Hi sorry can I help you?

Oh yeah.

I'm Stella Mansell, I'm
here to audition for Gloria.

All right, well.

If you just pop your
name down on here.

Do you normally bring
your child to auditions?

Oh, he's not mine,
I'm his baby sitter.

He had to be with his mom,
but something came up.

He'll be alright though.

Okay.

Stella Manzell.

Mansell.

Yes, Okay.

If you just take
this and take a seat.

Thanks so much.

Great.

Come on then.

[baby crying]

Lets go for a walk.

Maddie Shaw.

Yes.

Hi, thank you for coming in.

Nice to see you.

Thank you for coming to see us.

Hi, hi.

How are you doing?

Great.

Nice to see you.

Come in.

[woman laughing]

- [woman] Thank you.
- [woman] Thanks so much

[woman] I really appreciate it.

Take care.

- [woman] See you again.
- [woman] So nice to see you.

Bye.

Stella.

Yes.

Yeah, I'm-

[baby crying]

Am afraid we don't have
time for you today.

[baby crying]

Well, we waited all this time.

That's all right
we can do tomorrow.

3 p.m, is good.

Yeah, look, I think
if I'm honest,

we found the right Gloria.

The right Gloria?

[baby crying]

Okay we're just
gonna sit here then.

Oh, we'll wait here and
they'll have to see us.

[baby crying]

oh my, I can't believe it.

[baby crying]

I'm sorry.

I am Stella.

Oh yes.

The part is cast, am sorry
for wasting your afternoon,

but there is no really point
for you to stay in here.

I'll just read you a few lines.

The part is taken.

I'm sorry.

Good night.

Lets go.

[door shuts]

Is that it?

Looks like it.

[piano playing]

[wind blowing]

[piano playing]

Hi, I was so worried.

[car engine roaring]

[Celeste] Post
hearted and regretted.

We find you already fallen.

Autumn always kills me.

The trees, let go.

Silvering fierce.

The show is on the ground.

This sky is upturned.

London is no longer famous.

The children are
buzzing fingertips.

A paper bag of
tears named Diana.

I don't know how many
times we've moved house,

to find a space for dreaming.

All of our old letters
remain the downpour,

unable to disturb the living.

Ophelia is in the wind
somewhere on the coast,

leaving the sand to
announce its suffering.

The summer comes
back to haunt us.

Abandoned crows,
Bunhill Fields updated.

The remains of lovers, prepared
like a porcelain dinner,

always promising and staggering.

[piano playing]

Money!

[piano playing]

[keyboard typing]

[piano playing]

[keyboard typing]

[piano playing]

[upbeat music]

[bell ringing]

Can I help you?

Hi, I made a reservation
online, Mansell.

Online where?

dreamsleeps.com.

Welcome to the Walpole Bay
Hotel, where dreams never die.

Travel far?

All my life.

Oh, you must be exhausted.

I am.

Mansell, reservation for two?

Yeah.

Where is the other person?

He's gonna be here later.

Is there a mini bar in the room?

No.

But you're welcomed to
join me at any hour,

for a cocktail in
the bar over there.

Thanks, maybe later.

Great expectations,
I'll put you there.

I conceived my first child
in that room and my second.

You're on the third floor.

Thanks.

Kettle and towels
in the wardrobe.

Sea out the window.

And if you hear
banging that's normal.

And you've got a
full house tonight?

No, what makes you think that?

A sign outside.

Oh that.

I didn't feel like
company this evening.

The trouble is with guests
is that you can't pick 'em.

Thanks.

Oh, is there wifi?

No.

[knocking on the door]

[Celeste] Hey, it's us.

And we brought back your shoes.

[guitar playing]

[soft music playing]

[phone ringing]

It's not very feminist to leave
everything for a man Jimmy.

[phone ringing]

Hi darling.

Hi mom.

You're not going
to believe this,

but you know that art show,

they've only gone
and told some charity

they can have a
percentage of the sales.

I mean, I might as
well give the art away.

I can't stand these people

that go around
spreading their morality

onto bloody everything.

Mom, I'm really worried.

You know, Stella
has gone missing.

What, the fat one.

No seriously.

She's gone off with some
online man in Margate.

She hasn't even seen
a picture of him.

Definitely a nutter. I mean
actually, do you know what?

I was actually reading an
article about this the other day

saying that if you
talk to someone online

and they don't give
you their picture,

hundred percent
they're a psychopath.

I mean, bloody idiot.

A lot of these people who
can't connect with society

they often do go
under by the sea.

I mean, have you ever
seen a sane Seagull?

Darling you there?

Oh, look, I've gotta go.

My programs are
coming on and I just-

Okay bye.

[sighs]

Fuck.

[piano playing]

Hi.

Sweet or sour?

Sweet, and he'll have sour.

Great.

Are you from London?

No, I'm from Woking.

Where's Woking?

It's off the A3, honestly.

What's in those?

Cranberries.

For the cystitis.

Is that mine?

Looks nice.

Tastes like paradise,
thanks so much.

You're meeting a friend?

My boyfriend.

Its our anniversary.,
one year together.

Congratulations.

I can feel the sexual
tension, so exciting.

I was fanatically in love.

You guys you're so optimistic.

It's very nice of you to notice.

You're welcome.

Salute.

Salute.

Can I ask you,

how far is that?

[piano playing]

Far!

Oh.

Its 15 minutes.

He's 15 minutes away!

Awww she's in love.

You don't wanna walk.

I'll get you a cab.

Thanks so much.

Hello, you're
having your dinner?

Oh can Ron do it?

Thank you.

He's such a nice boy.

He'll be here in a sec.

Oh, thank you.

Come here.

You see those ducks?

Yeah.

Now, one of the first
things I sold Estelle,

and always be in love.

Look at them, four years
strong and look at them,

look at the eye, contact.

[man] ♪ I'm building
things, and losing things, ♪

♪ finding things
and seeing things. ♪

♪ The child in me is
filled with glee, ♪

♪ I rub my eyes in
mock surprise. ♪

♪ Ohhh I am bouncing the ball, ♪

♪ and chill It
never comes back. ♪

♪ It twists and it swerves,
until It never comes back. ♪

Roman.

Stella.

why didn't you
come to the hotel?

Why couldn't I
come to the hotel?

It's a good question.

But you know, I don't
have visitors here.

Nobody visits me here and
I don't visit other people.

I didn't think you were
so serious about it.

I thought it was
some kind of joke.

Would you like a drink?

I knew I had that. Got
it as a gift for myself.

For you my dear.

Thanks.

No visitors?

You wrote me loads of emails,

saying about how your
friends come over

and steal all your books.

Maybe not gonna
write about this.

No, I don't write
about real life.

Far too boring for me.

So everything you've
written about-

No, it's just a way
of letting off steam

that's all it is.

But it's a lie.

You know we're
meeting now, right?

Were together now.

You could be anyone.

I think maybe I should
call the police.

Did you say call the police?

Why would you want
to do that babe?

Don't touch me.

Look what you've done.

You know you
shouldn't be allowed

to write to people really.

I got fiber optic
broadband for this.

Cost me a fortune.

Just shut up please.

Will you please just shut up

and let me salvage
what I can from this.

Don't make it worse.

Your tongue is like
a flame thrower.

No, because the real
fucked up thing here,

Is that I'm the actor, I've
given you nothing but truths.

And you're just a
fraud, in a cabin.

And you young lady are just
a young drunk from Camden.

I don't like actors.

I never ever liked actors.

They can never
teach me anything.

I've got no respect for them.

They're all just puppets.

Bloody puppets.

But you know what?

And that's being kind.

I should win an Oscar
for this performance.

Yeah, I agree.

But an Oscar for
what, animation?

What was that program in
the 90's with those puppets?

♪ I'll be holding
you in my arm. ♪

♪ Love me tender,
love me true. ♪

♪ It's the wonder of you, ♪

♪ all those precious
things you do, ♪

♪ your blue suit you. ♪

♪ You're my one love, ♪

♪ and I want all
the world to see, ♪

♪ that I love you,
your in my dreams. ♪

[male voice] Do you need a room?

No, I'm looking for a friend.

She's gone off with a lunatic.

She was here, but she's gone.

Totally deluded.

She was insane.

So we put her in a cab,
that was a while ago now.

And she left this.

What's in that?

She planning on killing him.

It's an oyster knife.

Do you know where
she's gone, please?

I can ask the cabby.

Good luck.

Hello, Ron, its me.

You know the wiggy girl?

Can you take someone
wherever she went.

Wiggy, yes.

Thank you darling.

Come as soon as you can.

[piano playing]

Shhh.

They're here again.

What?

Seagulls?

Yeah, It's that time of
night they come every time.

Yeah, so romantic.

Listen to them.

[prrr prrr]

[prrr prrr]

[prrr prrr]

[khokhoo khokhoo]

That's the female pigeon
wants the male pigeon

and she goes kookoo,
like yeah yeah

but I can't hear you.

You have to go louder.

Go louder.

[kokoo]

[prrrr]

[kokoo]

[prrrr]

[kokoo]

[prrrr]

[kokoo]

[prrrr]

[kokoo]

Jesus Christ.

This is Roman.

Oh my God.

Dad?

Dad?

Hi.

Okay, that's enough.

It really wasn't meant
to happen like this.

I thought it would be a way
to connect with you somehow.

But then, it just
ran away with me

and it took on a life of its own

and it became something else.

I Googled your name one day
and your mother came up.

Why did she have
to be so intense?

Well, I only started
writing to Stella

because I was looking
for you online.

I'm really hot.

I need some air.

No don't go, please don't go.

Where are you going?

I love you.

You know, she's only
intense because she cares.

She actually cares.

I mean, she was there for us.

You have to be there
to love someone.

I mean where the hell were you?

[laughing]

[piano playing]

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I don't know, don't
you just think it's sad

that we're here for
such a small moment.

Made for each other,
for all of this life.

And then suddenly that's it.

We should get
breakfast, you know.

I think I need to
call my mom first.

Maybe you should tell her,

I could have been
your stepmother.

[laughing]

We could only laugh

and then get a restraining
order against you.

I might change my hair

just think it's
too big, you know?

Its good to have
a signature look.

Maybe I'll just get a trim then.

I don't think you
should change a thing.

Really?

Yeah.

I can spot you from anywhere.

Its genetic.

Oh I'm sure.

My moms the same.

She got a square as well?

Total square.

My mothers got
more of a triangle.

The first together is
the morning itself.

The marrying wish of two, the
first dance with the grass

renewed like a child's clock.

The early light,
unaware of the low hum

that entwines the
mood of the air.

Strangely, worshiping
in high memory cries.

And we remember the ghost
better in the morning,

the rising light that
is always a grace

on the backs of the
things you love.

Scattered through
the house like Lego.

The bed remains ancient
and its ritual of worship.

A personal attack
against strangers,

made up of all its
own Trojan Wars

hung in literature and debated.

It is easy to believe

that it is a privilege to
grow old in the morning.

And the age is young

and all that is above
will remain immortal,

regardless of loneliness.

[upbeat music]

focus on a point.

♪ Don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ Don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ Don't waste the things
that you might do, ♪

♪ And I love you so. ♪

♪ Don't waste your bus fare. ♪

♪ Don't waste your bus fare. ♪

♪ Don't waste the
places you might go, ♪

♪ and I want you now. ♪

♪ There is a cold
tune in my heart. ♪

♪ There is a cold
tune in my heart. ♪

♪ Don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ Don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ Don't waste the things
that you might do, ♪

♪ And I love you so. ♪

♪ Don't waste your bus fare. ♪

♪ Don't waste your bus fare. ♪

♪ Don't waste the
places you might go, ♪

♪ and I want you now. ♪

♪ There is a cold
tune in my heart. ♪

♪ There is a cold
tune in my heart. ♪

♪ Don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ Don't waste your
life Claire, ♪

♪ Don't waste the things
that you might do, ♪

♪ And I love you so. ♪

♪ Don't waste your bus fare, ♪

♪ Don't waste your bus fare, ♪

♪ Don't waste the
places you might go, ♪

♪ and I want you now. ♪

♪ There is a cold
tune in my heart. ♪

♪ There is a could
tune in my heart. ♪

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[soft music]