Original subtitles

Chris...

You're sure about this mate? It seems a bit, well

extreme.

Extreme? Really, mate?

No, what's extreme is getting

my fucking legs broken by those Russians

if we don't pay them back.

Remember, this is your fault, Adam.

You know what, sometimes I wish I'd listened to my mother.

She always said you were a bad influence, mate.

And if I did we wouldn't be here right now.

Alright get ready. Let's go.

Don't you fucking move, don't you fucking move.

Stay in the car. Don't move.

Go to the front of the van. You won't get hurt.

Don't you fucking move.

Chris, where are you going, you little scroll?

You're not going out with that Adam Chopra.

-You've got homework to do. -Hey, let's go.

See you later, mom.

Christopher!

Come back here, you little shit.

You wait till your father hears about this.

I give up. I really do.

It's so cool that you've got soccer pitches in

-every park here. -Chris, you've lived here for a year now.

It's football. No one calls it soccer.

-Maybe. -Oh, shit. Chris! Danny.

Well, well, if it isn't Rosie and his girlfriend.

We've all told you she's my pitch.

-Come on, let's go. -No.

If you think you have skills to pay the bills, prove it.

Play me one on one.

Whoever scores first wins.

Well, this season's similar to that of last year

and the chance to win though just about slammed shut.

The question on everyone's lips

is surely, Chris Rose is off to the Premier League.

You're right, but rumors flying around Chris are

that he's only interested in leaving Loughford

if he's for East Stratford.

So what's the hold up then?

His stats are clearly up there with some of the best of them.

Look, for me he's a great talent, you can see that.

Great ability, everything he does in a game, you know

excites the crowd.

If I'm McLaren I'll keep bidding for

for Chris. Eventually you see his love for the one club

where have you gone from there.

And his second?

Well, let's be fair, you've seen some good sides to him.

Then you've seen the hothead side of him

and you've seen a temper which he can't control.

And, you know, for me, have a look at this

last month, for Ashchester.

Out wide by Edwards, to Rose.

Oh, and that's not pretty.

Rose and Marcel Remi have collided.

That was inevitable.

Those two players hate each other.

That's the thing, when you have a player like that

you can lose at any given time.

You have to have an exceptionally good reason

-to want to take him on, right? - I personally think the Knights

would be foolish not to consider him this time round

because we lost Terry Donovan and Jonny Love.

He falls in from midfield...

As we say, Chris

we've dealt with the boring details

and we believe

you've got a really good package there.

Sign it, Chris. I promise it's a good deal.

And this time next week, you'll be playing out there.

-Welcome to the team, sir. -Oh, thank you. It's a dream come true.

Well done, kid.

We're gonna get you working straight away.

We've got a whole publicity press package waiting for you.

Time to let the world know you're a Knight now.

Yeah, you know the kind of thing.

Handle the shirt, meet the team

-a few photos-- -And remember, Chris.

-The press will be on your back from now on. -Absolutely.

I've worked so hard for this moment.

Nothing I'm gonna do to mess it up.

I just gotta make one quick phone call first.

And I'll crack on with the press call laid out for me.

Mom, it's me.

Chris? Everything all right?

Yes, I'm fine, Mom.

Listen, I didn't want to say anything before

because it wasn't confirmed, but

I've just become a Knight.

Aaahh! Chris!

-Mom, calm down, calm down. -Oh, this is wonderful news.

I'm so proud of you.

I can't wait to tell Auntie Jean.

Thanks, Mom.

Listen, don't say anything until tomorrow

because they've got a whole press thing laid out for me, but...

Mom, I just wanted you to be the first to know.

Mom.

What do you think Dad would've thought?

Oh Chris, he'd have been so made up for you.

He loved taking you to the old East Stratford ground and

to see you play in the Black Knight colors...

Well

proud seems too small a word.

Thanks, Mom.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Little boy.

Do you know where Adam Chopra lives?

I do. Yeah, he lives over there.

Ahhh.

What the hell are they doing here?

Where the hell is it?

Got it.

Oh, man. Why do you have to be so high, man?

I'm going to fall.

Better be...

What do they want from me?

Let's go round the back.

OK, ladies and gentlemen, I think we're ready to start.

Here at East Stratford

I'm very proud of the team we've built

and often see them as a high-performance car.

But even the very best of engines need a tune-up.

I know that working here has always been your dream.

And I know you're gonna do everything you can to make it work.

But I just need you to do me one favor.

What's that? Signing fee wasn't big enough?

No, Chris, I'm serious.

Look.

Whenever you're out on the pitch

whenever you're on the grass, just keep smiling.

No matter what surprises happen

you just keep smiling.

Without further ado

I'd like to introduce you to our new center forward

Chris Rose.

And our second sign-in

Marcel Remi.

Whenever you're out on the pitch

whenever you're on the grass, just keep smiling.

No matter what surprises happen, you just keep smiling.

Get him out and put him on the car lift.

Hello?

Adam.

It's Viktor.

Oh, Viktor. Oh.

How are you?

Adam, no more excuses.

Danny would like to see you.

OK, broth' where?

In one hour.

Danny's house.

Are you ready to tell me about their operations?

I need to take the table first.

Images.

Oh, fuck sake!

Let me go, you psychotic bitch.

Such big words for a man in your position.

Now tell me

about their operations.

Speak up, you little shit!

I think he's trying to tell you.

It's just, he's got a gun in his mouth.

I'm sorry.

I don't know anything about their operations.

Look.

We can do this the easy way

or we can do it the hard way.

Well, get your girlfriend off me and I'll tell you what I know.

I am not his girlfriend!

I am nobody's girlfriend.

You know, it's a shame that you don't know anything.

Wait! Wait!

OK, guys. There's only a few of us here today because

we're testing Marcel and Chris' fitness.

So I'm gonna be going quite hard on you two today

but don't worry about it, let's just see how you get on.

Demetri won't be happy.

He was sure John could build the list.

Take it to the crusher. I have somewhere I have to be.

Adam, have a whiskey with me, please.

Sure, this could be great.

Now.

Down to business.

You know why I want to see you, don't you?

-Danny, I promise you I'll get you all the money. -Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Typical Adam Chopra.

Never fully understanding the situation.

See, it's not my money.

I've got partners.

People I work with.

But I can't owe those Russians. They'll send those two freaks after me.

-Shit. That's why they came to my house yesterday. -Ah.

Finally, he gets the full picture.

You know, Adam, don't you?

-Of course. -Is that old guy with you too?

No.

Just me and Danny.

See, Adam, I like you.

Me, you, Rose-y

are old school friends.

So it's only right I give you this opportunity

to get your fucking affairs in order.

Put it this way.

Next time, you'll be seeing either Dimitri

-or Alexei. -You could always earn it back.

Alexei's running a booking gig tonight.

I'll do that, then.

Good luck, Adam. You can see yourself out.

Excuse me. Are you Danny Rana?

No, sorry mate. He's upstairs.

Out of my way, fag.

You can keep your shirt on.

You'd like that, won't you, for me to take it off.

Marcel.

Get a drink and cool off.

I didn't realize you had the bet on Ozzie.

Maybe that's why he's acting so much on the field.

Sorry, are you talking to me mate? Save it for the pitch, OK?

You can't stand it, can you?

What are you talking about?

That you're a little bit slower than me?

Did you have a late night last night?

Or too many croissants for breakfast?

Oh yes, I partied a little bit too hard last night, with your mother.

But you know what it's like when you get the deal of a lifetime.

I'm not fighting with my new teammate on our first day at practice.

You're fighting with an Englishman, Rose.

You create a scene in front of everybody, but look

everybody knows I'm the better player.

That is why I get paid twice as much as you.

Like I said, Marcel, save it for the pitch.

Now don't fuck me around

but is it true that Marcel got twice the deal I did?

Umm.

-Who told you? -It doesn't fucking matter who told me.

You didn't tell me. So is it true?

-Yeah, you have eventually come out but... -No Toni, you let me down.

First you didn't tell me about Marcel even joining East Stratford

and now I hear he's got a better fucking deal than me.

But still, at least you got your cut, right?

Look, I could find out about Marcel until after you'd signed.

I don't want to be contentious, I figured out just let you

find out in good time.

Therefore you wouldn't do anything rash, like

back out the contract that you've always wanted.

Not fucking good enough!

You should have warned me.

You should have gotten me more money.

Oh, really?

Well, you changed your tune.

For the past three years you've been saying to me

get me an East Stratford contract, no matter what.

Well, guess what, Chris?

This is what a "no matter what" looks like.

Fuck you, Toni, thanks for everything.

Channel Six News has been talking

to the Premier League club East Stratford

who found themselves at the center

of a controversial decision to sign two former on-pitch adversaries

Marcel Remi and Christopher Rose.

While fans have been outspoken with their thoughts on this decision

the club's chairman is yet to comment.

Our reporter Kirsty Simpson's at the Knights training ground

where the new-look team has just finished their first training session.

I've been talking with some of the fans here today

and the reaction to this news is very mixed

but in general

most fans are, for want of a better phrase

intrigued to see if Rose and Remi can actually play together well.

Dad, Dad! Can I go get Chris Rose's autograph?

Here comes the team now.

-Hello guys, let's go. -Chrisman.

I can't see.

Chrisman. I can't see.

Get out of the way.

Stop pushing me. Get off.

Dad!

Help, Dad! Dad, help!

He's pushing me.

I can't breathe.

Dad!

Someone, help!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Careful, careful, careful!

Boy, you all right? Come here. Come on. You all right, kid?

-What's your, what's your name? -It's Josh.

Josh. Where's your dad?

-Over there. -I'm here, I'm here.

-Everything all right? -Yeah, Josh seems fine.

Umm, do you both have a spare hour?

Cool. Come with me.

Marcel.

Thanks for this, Chris.

He's having a fantastic time.

He'll remember this forever.

I would have loved to tour the stadium with my dad.

Besides, I want him to remember the good memories from today.

Not what happened on the training pitch.

Well, thank you, Chris.

From the bottom of my heart.

But Josh is not really an East Stratford fan, though.

He's a Chris Rose fan.

He's been following your career ever since

-he got into football. -Wow, I didn't realize that. Thank you.

You've done so much more for him than you can possibly know.

You see

Josh has recently been diagnosed with a rare blood condition.

We've heard there's a possible cure in America, but

we can't afford the treatment.

Complimentary drinks.

A man could get used to this.

Now you're in the Premiership we can get to anywhere we want.

True, mate, but hope it gets a little bit easier

than was my first day being a Knight.

Stays like that I don't know if I can keep it up.

Everyone has first day problems, mate.

It'll be better on Monday, you'll see.

Just have a good night, forget about everything, yeah?

Bro!

Get over there, those two girls winding us up

Get your game face on, let's go!

I don't think you get it, Adam.

I've been waiting so long to for sign East Stratford.

-It's a dream job. -Yeah, and mine.

And then they went and screwed it up by

-signing this French prick Marcel. -So what?

Now I feel pathetic for even worrying about those things.

Are and Toni, the money.

All I can think about

is the fact that this poor little boy

is never gonna have these opportunities in his life.

Oh my god!

Look, Chris, but I'm sorry. I really want to help

but something really important has just come up.

No, you're right, Adam, mate.

Time and a place and all that.

Drink up. Let's go buy those girls some drinks.

But wait, mate. Promise me one thing.

No cheesy pickup lines.

Ah, I got a really sick one for tonight, broth.

-Go on and lose it. -Oh, no no no. No previews, bruv.

-Hi girls. We-- -Um, I'm sorry.

I know it's taking a lot of courage

to come over here, especially when there's three of us

and two of you. And although I appreciate your courage

we'd much rather be on our own right now.

-I bet you three girls are from Ireland. -Why is that?

It's when I look at you.

-Dublin... -It's what those guys over there would have said.

Girls, we just want to come over and offer to buy you a drink.

If I'm honest with you

if we sit with you it will stop all those other creeps

from using cheesy pickup lines.

All right, I'm Adam, and you must recognize my mate Chris

-over there. -This is Nicola, Dawn and I'm Ashley.

-Ashley Queen. -Really?

That must be fake, because I'm a name.

I don't get it, and

no, I don't recognize you, I'm sorry. Should I?

Are you kidding?

Oh, you must not follow football, then.

Oh my god, are you two both footballers?

See, I told you this is where all the boys come.

Yeah, I'm a footballer. Just signed East Stratford.

-I'm a London Knight. -That means nothing to me.

-Umm, what about him? -Oh, Adam?

What is it this week, mate? Truck driver?

Yeah, until I get signed.

So can we offer you girls something to drink?

-Perhaps some prosecco? -Yes, please.

Umm, I'm not sure.

Umm, prosecco and champagne usually go straight to my head

-and I act really silly. -Sounds perfect.

We'll take a chilled prosecco and five glasses, please.

You are naughty... Do you never take no for an answer?

I guess not. Thank you.

Well, at least you're not French.

-Wait, why? -Well, we used to go to this other club.

Churchill's. Do you know it?

Yeah, heard of it. Not been there before.

-Heard it's a bit... -And as you were saying?

This local football club's players started coming in.

The biggest wanker of the lot was French.

He was called Marcel.

And he would go around the whole club

flirting with every single woman in sight.

Turns out he had a girlfriend.

Crystal. She's a total bitch.

Wait. You two guys haven't got a little wife at home

-have you? -No.

Girls.

I think you might have actually found two gentlemen.

I'll get that.

Get you something to drink while I'm up?

Oh yeah, I'd love a cup of tea.

Well, if the kettle's on, I'll have a cup of tea, love.

Of course. I won't be long.

Excuse me, darling.

-Hello? -Chris. Oh my, oh my--

Best night ever.

I'm coming. Hold on!

You'll have to fill me in later, mate.

You saw the girls home safely though, yeah?

I promise, man. Let me put it this way.

I made sure they got a good night's sleep.

Oh, have you no shame, mate?

Whatever happened to not kissing and telling?

So which one?

Not one. Both!

Oh my god. You are such a slapper.

You know they only slept with you to get to me, though, don't you?

-You're jealous. -Open the door.

Open up!

Sorry, mate, I've got to go.

Hello Chopra!

Told you we'll be back.

-Oh come on. -Have you got the money?

Oh come on guys. I'll get the money, I promise.

No, no, you've had enough time. Give it to me.

Please, not today. Any day but today. Please.

Get out of the way. Let's see.

Morning, ladies.

-Well. -Oh my god.

is this seriously happening?

Oh, we won't hold you up too long. You got that?

Nice one. I'll get the van.

Huge anticipation at the Castle today.

Right at the start of a new season.

And a new-look team for East Stratford.

Fans are divided, but eager to find out

what exactly that means.

By having Chris Rose and Marcel Remi

in the same team.

It's a decision the chairman is standing by

saying fortune favors the bold.

So we'll have to wait and see

what happens later today.

There's not really much else I can add to that, to be honest

other than I really believe that we can win this game.

As long as we stick to the game plan

and you all know your roles

we can come out victorious.

Look, when we wear this shirt

we're a team.

When we're out on that pitch we're the Knights.

Let's leave our personal issues in the locker room today.

Let's get out there and do what we're supposed to do.

Are you with me, lads?

When I get the opportunity to score today

regardless of the game plan I'm going to take it.

I'm going to be the best forward this team has ever seen.

What the hell happened out there?

-I'm sorry. -That was a rhetorical question, Rose.

What was it I said?

Worst debut game in the history of the club.

You know, I would have argued with them, but I can't.

When I was offered you two...

Yeah.

I thought you might be a bit volatile

but I also thought you'd energize the club.

And somehow come together and work in harmony out there.

What I saw on the pitch was anything but.

But Marcel doesn't want to play as part of a team.

That's exactly what he said.

Listen, you two need to grow up.

-This is the Premiership! -So you don't think in any way this is your fault?

That you should have told me Marcel was also signing to the club.

That I got half the deal he got.

Perhaps that I got a fair deal.

That's it. Right, right.

You didn't play well

because I'm not paying you enough.

You and your agent, you had the chance to haggle.

You did a deal when you signed.

And as for making decisions

I'm the chairman!

I've never run a decision past any other player.

And I'm certainly not about to start with you!

Now

let me lay this out as clear as I can spell it out.

You and Marcel

settle out your differences

and start scoring goals

or people are going to be leaving the club.

And no matter what the press say

it won't be me.

Well?

-Was it as bad as you feared? -It was worse, mate.

You were pretty shit out there, mate.

You are such a tosser. Remind me again why we're friends.

Chris, you and I are in a similar boat, mate.

I think I have an idea how we can sort this.

-Same boat, how? -Don't worry about that.

-Do you know Greens in Camden? -Yeah, I think so.

Well, let's go there. I need a drink, and you're paying.

I'll tell you, mate, you don't realize it but with the spectators

it's the funniest thing you've ever seen.

One minute you're hurtling down the wing,

Next minute, Marcel tackles you

-and you land flat on the pitch. -What sort of idiot tackles his own player

and doesn't score?

-What was he thinking? -Exactly.

You know what pisses me off the most?

Is that the ref, the club, the team, the players

they all think it was my fault.

Even my mom called me to give me a go for being a hothead.

And that's why I brought you here.

But first, a bit of an admission, mate.

I'm broke. A lot of people

-a lot of money-- -What's new, Adam?

For as long as I've known you, you've not a penny to your name.

This is different. For the last few years I've been playing

a lot of poker, trying to fix my debt.

-But it's made it much worse. -Shock me.

-How much? -Not sure, really.

I'm past the point of counting and into the point of

asking casino owners if I can work it off.

I was even paying at Danny's club.

We don't even like Danny.

It doesn't matter, he's dead anyway.

-Shot by some rival club owner or something like that. -Jesus.

-So what do you want me to do? Pay it back? -Sort of.

Like I said

I need to work it off and

when they found out I knew you

-they want me to introduce you. -Adam, no fucking way.

I'm happy to help you pay it back

but I'm not gonna get involved with anybody dodgy.

-You say that, but-- -No, Adam, that's it. Final.

It's probably too late for that mate, sorry.

-What do you mean? -This bar

is one of the places I play.

The owner's this guy I need you to meet.

Adam, you fucking idiot.

You said it yourself...

-Need some more friends, anyway. -Yeah, maybe new friends

but not people with access to concrete shoes and shotguns

that kill other bar owners because they don't like how they do business.

What made you think I'd be interested in this, mate?

I thought they might have helped get even with Marcel.

Hello, Adam.

I see you brought your friend.

As promised.

Welcome to Greens, Mr. Rose.

I'm Alexei.

Can I get you another drink?

No, thank you. I'm in training at the moment.

-Honest, I was just about to go. -I see.

Well, it was an honor to have such a famous footballer in my bar anyway.

Can I get a picture of the three of us together?

I can hang it above the bar.

The day the great Chris Rose came to Greens.

-Yeah, of course. -Viktor, have you got your camera?

We need a selfie moment.

Excellent. Let me see, let me see.

Amazing. Get it printed, Viktor.

I want everyone to know I'm friends with Chris Rose.

Da, boss.

Isn't it amazing, how mobile phones these days can do

so much more than make calls?

A bit like you, Chris.

Everyone knows you as just a footballer

but I bet you are so much more, aren't you?

-I guess. -Oh, don't be so modest

I've seen you play. You have some serious talent, my friend.

-Thank you. -See, and humble too.

Adam here tells me you're not enjoying your move

to East Stratford. Is that correct?

Oh he did, did he?

No, it's probably just some new club teething problems.

What if I could offer you a solution to all your problems?

And help your friend here in the process?

Would you be interested?

I'm not sure.

Really, I'm just a footballer, you know?

-I mean, what you see is what you get. -Perhaps.

But if you do this one little thing for me.

We can offer you so much more in return.

Inside is enough money for your friend to pay off all his other debts.

OK, let's be honest.

What is it you want from me?

Next week's game against Clutchworth.

I want you to do everything you can do to lose.

So, Dad.

They've given me this phone. 24 hours to make a decision.

If I'm in, I just text them and all of Adam's problems go away.

And as for me

they agree to make up the contract difference between Marcel and I.

All I've got to do is throw the odd game or two.

I know it's not the East Stratford start we wanted, but

nothing by joining the Knights has been what I anticipated.

I really want to get my own back on him too

especially Marcel.

And what's throwing a game?

Will it really, really matter?

Anyway, Dad.

I've got to go now.

Thanks for the talk, Dad.

So, Chris, have you made your decision yet?

Absolutely. I think I want to have

the oysters, followed by the steak, please.

Oysters, hey?

-So I'm gonna go for the smoked salmon and the chicken, please. -Thank you.

You know, I don't usually drink this much with guys.

-I know. -Especially on dates.

I remember you told me it goes straight to your head.

I think that's why I keep pouring you more.

But, umm, why here?

When you're a footballer, anything's possible.

I just wanted to do it in style.

You mean... you just want to show off.

Maybe, but, umm

let's just enjoy the most romantic date possible.

Voila, madame, monsieur.

-Thank you. -So anyway, Chris, you were going to ask me something.

-I've got this friend-- -Is this about Adam again?

I told you my friends are so embarrassed about that.

I mean, imagine being there

when all your stuff gets repossessed.

Wait, did you just say that he had all his stuff repossessed?

Yeah, they took everything.

His kitchen appliances, his furniture.

And all that was left like a few clothes.

I didn't realize it was that bad.

I just thought he got caught with his pants down.

No, it wasn't about him.

It was about another friend I have at work.

Let's just say

he's getting bullied.

See, I hate bullies. It's all about the power.

Yeah, well

he has an opportunity to get one back.

It's slightly unorthodox and

-maybe slightly illegal. -Is anybody gonna get hurt?

-No, not really. -Then, if you've got the opportunity

to, you know, get one over on a bully, then

-I'd say go for it. -Even if it's, like I said

-illegal. -The way I see it

no one's gonna get hurt, then what's the problem?

Ashley, can you excuse me to go to the bathroom?

Sure, but don't run out on me and jumping out any windows.

On you? I'm sure that's never happened.

For Adam.

Demetri.

The footballer is in.

After East Stratford's last performance

the crowd is left a little deflated

in the knowledge that Marcel and Chris

are both in the starting eleven again.

Why chairman Gower and manager Chapman

persist on playing these two together on the field of play

Next was the game against Clutchworth.

I want you to do everything you can to lose.

No one's gonna get hurt, then what's the problem?

Don't worry, Englishman.

Even you can't play as badly as you did last time.

Mr. Rose, you have guests.

Guys, what are you doing here?

Well, Adam called me last night and suggested

I lose my, how did you put it?

-Football virginity? -Oh he did, did he?

Yeah, seeing as she's such a good influence on you these days

maybe she would be a good luck charm in today's game.

Oh, well.

Thank you for coming, hope you guys enjoy it.

Excuse me, mate, will you take my girlfriend and my best mate

-to the Director's box, please? Thank you. -Yes.

Adam, mate, what the hell do you think you're doing?

Wish you good luck, I thought to calm you down a little bit.

Calm me down?

Now I'm more nervous than ever.

Believe it or not, this is my first time throwing a game.

And you've brought her here to witness it?

Sorry man, I didn't think. Gotta go, all right?

Well, the teams are due out shortly.

We've got time to hear from Chris Kamara

on his thoughts about today's game.

After last week's shambles of a game

it's a surprise to all

that East Stratford's management

is playing Rose and Remi up front again together

let alone in the starting lineup.

You have to give it to the Knights fans.

The dedication to their team is unrivaled.

If nothing else

their enthusiasm to see their beloved team

come through triumphant

might be all that's required to make Chris Rose

and Marcel Remi

play well together.

No one knows how this team will fare against Clutchworth.

The only thing we can say for sure

is that this match won't be boring

and it's bound to be full of drama.

Don't get in my way again, Rose-y.

especially when I'm going to score, ca Va?

However, the reality is that if this team

doesn't pull together, one, or both

will be surely let go.

I have to say, though

and it's probably for all the wrong reasons

but I have never been this excited to see

what will happen in a game so early in a season.

Thanks, Chris. East Stratford to kick off

and it will be Rose and Remi

at the start getting the ball rolling.

And for those of you watching at home

it is a harsh atmosphere here.

Rose and Remi must surely be feeling

uncomfortable with the reception that they're getting.

Rose just not getting into the match at all.

He really isn't playing where we expected him to play.

But where I think the manager expected him to play

that's a surprise.

And a chance for Clutchworth.

They are looking the more dangerous side.

They could have scored then.

His teammates want more from Chris Rose, a lot more.

Well, this might be the last chance.

Well, the free kick's been given.

It's one last chance here

to put the ball into the Clutchworth penalty area.

Taken by Colton.

Goal!

It's Rose!

Oh my word!

He's done nothing for 90 minutes

and here in injury time

...for East Stratford. Chris Rose!

Alexei.

Bring him in.

Chris! Man of the match!

Get in the car.

Chris Rose, meet Bones.

Oh my god!

Karina and Feddick had a chat with Joe.

They got nowhere.

However

Viktor and the boys put together this list.

It has all their businesses on it.

Excellent.

You have done very well.

-Leave the list on the desk. -Boss.

-Looks like our guest is awake. -Good.

Alexei, you see to the girl.

I'll have a chat with our friend here.

Hello, Chris.

Now, you don't know me

and that is a

remiss of me.

My name is Demetri.

And you

work for me.

Where's Ashley?

The girl?

Who is she?

Nobody. I just met her tonight. She has nothing to do with this.

She will be fine.

Don't worry about her.

I would

offer you one, but...

How do I know what you say to me

-is what you really want? -Oh, the game.

I'm sorry I broke my promise. I'm sorry about the game.

Do you know what I like about vodka, Chris?

Its simplicity in purest form.

I don't understand.

It is very cool.

Vodka is

simple.

Look at how clean and fresh it looks.

No color.

No cloudiness.

Just pure.

But, with a bite.

Do you know etymology of word "vodka"?

Chris.

No. No, no, I'm sorry.

It's OK.

Not many do.

Comes from Slavic word for

water.

Volta.

So you see, Chris.

Even its name is simple.

After all

you can't get anything more pure than

water.

Then.

Then we have the

business

of vodka.

You take a

take a peasant's food

the potato

and we distill it

until it makes this

this pure

simple liquid that we sell for

hundred times original value.

So do you understand, Chris

why men like me

appreciate vodka?

Well

I, I think so, I think so, yeah.

Why did you think it was smart idea to

complicate things?

I'm sorry. It was, it was an accident.

You

you accidentally scored a goal?

That is a

that is good one.

-I don't fucking believe you. -It's true.

I mean, it was like

it was like muscle memory. The ball just came across--

Shut the fuck up!

We had a deal.

A simple, straightforward fucking deal!

All you had to do was to make sure that East Stratford lost.

Instead of that, because of you

they won.

And I lost a lot of money.

Nothing

about that

-is fucking simple. -I'll get you the money back.

I can throw another game.

I'm a Premiership footballer.

I have fifty grand in the bank, I make five grand a week.

I can pay you back.

I like you, Chris.

You are a very funny man.

When I knew what the outcome of Saturday's game was going to be

on Friday night

I and my comrades

gambled a lot of money.

We lost fucking millions.

-I can throw another game. -No.

To do that again would be

too messy.

Not simple, remember?

-I like simple. -Oh, there must be something I can do.

I'm sure I can get your money back. I'm sure I can do it.

I have a

professional responsibility to show the world

what happens

if you go back on a deal with me.

I can't have people thinking that I have gone soft now, Chris, can I?

I guess, I guess, I guess, but I'm begging you.

I promise you there's something I can do.

Just let me go and I can sort this out.

But the alternative is to

kill you.

And killing you is

is messy.

Certainly not simple.

Let us say...

Let us say, I give you

four weeks

to get me two million pounds.

-Do you think you could do that, Chris? -I'm sure I can, I'm sure of it.

And you

wouldn't do anything stupid like

-going to the police? -Of course not.

OK.

OK.

For the first time in my professional career

I am going to give second chance.

You have four weeks to get me two million pounds.

However

if you go to the police

or you don't manage it

then I am taking what you love.

Your family

and your fucking legs

because

believe me, my friend

when we have finished with you

you won't be fucking needing either of them anyway

Viktor!

Get him and the girl out of here.

Chris, what the hell is going on?

Nothing, babe. Tell you in a minute. Let's go.

What the hell is going on, Chris?

Ashley, let's just get a cab

and I'll explain to you on the way, OK?

There's a phone box over there. Let's call the police.

No, we cannot get the police involved.

We were just kidnapped and tied up in a warehouse!

-You don't understand. -So fucking explain then.

Oh, it's a football thing. It's like the new guy on the team

-when he scores a goal they play a trick. -Like an initiation practice?

Exactly, and that's why we can't get the police involved.

-You can't, but I can! -Ashley.

Football is everything to me.

-If you can't understand that... -What are you saying?

I'm saying football's been a part of me since I was a kid.

Before I even met you.

So, you, would choose that lifestyle over me.

Ashley.

If you're asking me

to choose between you

and football

then I'm sorry, but...

Fuck you, Chris!

At least you'll be safe.

I'm broke. A lot of people

a lot of money.

Oh, there must be something I can do.

I'm sure I can get your money back, I'm sure I can do it.

I want you to do everything you can to lose.

No one's gonna get hurt, then what's the problem?

You have four weeks to get the two million pounds.

However

if you go to the police

or you don't manage it

then I'm taking what you love.

Your family

and your fucking legs.

What is it?

Gambling debts?

It's something like that.

Sir, listen, if you loan me this money

I promise you it will never happen again

and I will work for free for you forever.

As attractive as an opportunity as that sounds

I simply don't have the money.

Maybe you forget.

I just spent my whole budget on two top players.

Well

thank you for considering my request.

Mr. Rose, thank you for coming.

No problem at all, you can call me Chris.

Well, Chris.

As I understand, you want to close your current account, is that correct?

Yes, I'd like to get all of my money out of my account today

but I'd also like to get a loan for as much as I can.

I think he's starting to get money together.

He's at the bank now.

Just make sure you and Karina stay with him.

I want to make sure he doesn't go to the police.

You have to understand. My hands are somewhat tied

without knowing what the money's going to be used for.

Your loan is based upon things such as your house and your job as security.

Well, if that's everything the bank can loan

it will have to be enough, so thank you.

Listen. Tell Demetri I'm as good as my word.

I've got 65 grand coming tomorrow.

I just need to know where he wants it dropped off.

Oh, and if you just stop fucking following me, this would be a lot quicker.

So, basically, mate

I'm up shit creek, and it's all your fault, Adam.

I'm sorry Chris, I never meant for this to happen.

You should have missed that goal.

Oh really, you think?

So how much did you manage to get?

In total, about 70k.

But that's not nearly enough.

What are you today, mate? Professor Bloody Obvious?

I'm sorry, I thought you footballers are meant to be loaded.

Yeah, maybe asset-rich but my image raise hasn't kicked in yet.

Besides, it seems running illegal vodka rackets

and threatening football lives is a way more lucrative job.

Who would have known, huh?

Sorry, you've lost me.

Don't worry about it, mate.

Look, I've been everywhere.

I've exhausted all options. We need to try and get this money.

So it looks like we've only got one option left.

And you're gonna help me with it.

You know what, sometimes I wish I'd listened to my mother.

She always said you were a bad influence, mate.

Maybe if I did we wouldn't be here right now.

Listen, mate, you ready?

Let's go.

Don't you fucking move, don't you fucking move.

Stay in the car, don't move.

Go to the front of the van. Stay in the fucking car.

Don't you fucking move. Don't you fucking move.

Don't you fucking move.

Let's go.

So

as promised

you have returned with your first

down payment.

Where's Chris?

Don't worry about him.

I wanted to talk to you alone.

Must feel great to have a friend who

will do this much for you and your safety.

What the fuck is this?

-Get Viktor in here. -Yes, boss.

-Viktor! -What's wrong?

Viktor. Get these boxes opened and destroyed fucking quickly.

Mmm.

Are these the boxes you've stolen?

-Yes, why? -Because

these boxes

have security devices attached to them.

Un-pickable locks.

Smart water.

And tracking devices.

-I'm sorry, it was our first ever security van heist. -Clearly.

Let's just hope the police don't track them here.

Because if they do

we know what will happen. Don't we, Adam?

As agreed

here's our first 75 thousand and

plus, you've got the other two boxes.

Boss.

There's 30 grand there and the boxes are destroyed.

Excellent.

So...

you have both brought me

one hundred thousand today.

I think we are going to

build a brilliant working partnership.

Nozdrovia.

Sergeant Rice.

Detective Crawford.

What have we got here?

It's an interesting one, sir.

I'll let Saunders explain. Saunders!

-Sir? -Thank you.

-Saunders. -Well, OK.

Basic security van heist.

Owners reckon about 40 grand's been taken from the boxes.

-But their paperwork's gone missing. -So.

They're trying to claim back on the insurance already, then.

As to be expected.

There's two perpetrators, both wearing football kit and rubber masks.

We're looking at CCTV now.

Any chance the shop owners would be in on this?

Possibly. They're not angels.

But my instincts are telling me otherwise.

Normally, if it's an inside job they'd be a bit more organized

and this seemed a bit

haphazard and opportunistic.

What did the guards say?

They've both been taken to the station for further questioning.

But it's company policy not to tackle armed robbers.

So, in other words

two jokers rock up here with guns and walk away with

forty thousand pounds in cash.

Without a shot being fired

or a fist thrown.

Hey?

Excellent!

And finally, two men dressed as footballers held up

an armored car today in Romford.

Although shots were fired, no one was hurt.

The thieves got away with an estimated forty thousand pounds.

Police are asking for witnesses to come forward

particularly a little boy

who was seen on CCTV cameras

moments before kicking a ball in front of the robbers' car.

I can't believe this. Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know.

Embarrassed, obvious.

Besides, you had

a lot on your plate with the new signings and Marcel.

Mate, all those problems are so minor and irrelevant now.

Chris, you might have bought us some time

but how the hell are we gonna raise

one million 900 thousand pounds

in three and a half weeks?

Especially if the mob can't add up and all.

I mean, we can't keep hitting security vans.

They don't have that kind of money, and plus

those tracking devices freak me out and shit.

No, no, the security vans were just a starter.

This is the key here, I'm sure of it.

We need to make a plan of attack.

Figure out our opponent's weaknesses

and bring home the cup by the end of the season.

-We've found the car. -Excellent.

-Where? -About an hour, in Epping forest.

It's a dead end, though. Owner reported it stolen last week.

And forensics have said there's little to no chance

of recovering any useful evidence.

Damn, I was hoping to get some leads there.

Also, we've

got what we're looking for.

Already?

Excellent, excellent. So what have we got?

A known criminal or just some rookies?

-We definitely know him. -Let's see.

Yeah, very funny, Lee.

Yeah, well done, everybody.

Very funny!

Well, let's just hope you lot ain't laughing

when this couple of jokers accidentally kill someone next time, hey?

Wow, Chris!

That's amazing. Really detailed.

Well, mate, if we're gonna do this, we've got to do it right.

-We can't afford any slip-ups. -But how do we hit these shops?

How do they have this much money?

That's where this list comes in.

You see, I think this is a list of other crime syndicates

-fronting as proper businesses. -How the hell did you get that?

I swiped it off Demetri's desk first time I was there.

See, this way we know we're robbing from the wrongers

-and not the innocent. -Now I feel like Robin Hood.

Robbing from the rich

-giving back to the richer. -Except for, we're not.

Adam, these guys are dangerous.

If we're not careful, we're gonna end up in the middle of a gang turf war.

It could be much worse.

Really? How could it be worse?

Well, umm...

There's, well, umm...

All right, it couldn't get much worse than this.

But how do you rob all these shops?

Don't you need a crew or something like that?

For now, it's just gonna be us.

So what's our first job?

This really plush trader shop.

Oh my god, that was fucking amazing! What a rush!

-Shit, that fucking idiot. -What's wrong?

The store owner. Just as we were leaving

jumped down and pulled my mask off.

So what? Guy didn't recognize you.

Ashley didn't recognize you. You're not that famous.

That's not the point. He could have CCTV images and all sorts.

How much do you think we got?

I don't know. There's a lot of cash in there. A lot more than I expected.

Let's count it up, look online

-get a rough estimate before we drop it off to Demetri. -Great.

I don't want us to come short again.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Rahim. Here's your tea.

No problem. If it helps get these sons of bitches.

Well, we do what we can.

Do you want to tell me what happened today?

I was just about to finish up for the day

when, suddenly two men in footballer's clothes

-came in and held me up. -Just two men?

I, yes, I think so.

It all happened so fast.

Only two came into the shop

but maybe there was another outside, I'm not sure.

And what then?

Then one started filling up his bags from the display

and then when he was done and

when I had given the other one the money from the till they left.

I see.

Well, we'll take a look at your CCTV

see if we can shed some more light or get any more clues.

Any idea how much was stolen?

It's difficult to say, I haven't cashed up yet.

But I think there was at least 200 thousand pounds of stock taken.

Wow. I mean, I thought these were trainers.

Yes, well, but

some of these go for two or three grand a pair.

Yeah, it makes sense to see why they hit you.

-Exactly. -Yeah, but that's going to be difficult to shift.

Now you said to my colleague they were wearing masks.

Is there anything else recognizable about these men?

That might help me with my investigations?

Yes. One was Chris Rose.

I'm sorry. What did you say?

One of the men, the one with the gun, was Chris Rose.

You mean, he looked like the football player Chris Rose?

No, no, I mean, I grabbed hold of his mask

and when I looked underneath, it was Chris Rose.

Saunders!

Right. I'll take these home and you get rid of the car.

Same place as last time?

No, make it somewhere different.

By now the police will be looking for it, so...

-make it elsewhere, make it quick. -Got it.

I can't believe that this time tomorrow Dimitri a round

five hundred thousand pounds.

Thanks for doing this, bruv

-Couldn't have done it without you. -Well, mate...

you know what they say, a friend helps you move.

But a true friend helps you move a dead body.

Look, we're gonna get this sorted, OK?

It certainly looks like him.

Perhaps, but why would a Premiership footballer

big a fallen armed robbery? It just doesn't make sense.

Maybe he's got a twin brother.

Or maybe he's wearing two masks.

You and your outlandish theories, Saunders.

I can't ignore there is a very strong resemblance.

So why don't we go and have a little chat with Mr. Chris Rose, hey?

Hi, Chris. It's me, Ashley.

I'm so sorry about what I said.

I've been meaning to call you for a couple of days now.

I, I miss you, darling.

I need you.

I just, overreacted.

Can you call me back when you get this message, please?

Bye.

Chris Rose?

Ummm.

Yeah, who wants to know?

I'm Detective Sergeant Crawford and this is Sergeant Saunders.

Right. How can I help?

To be absolutely honest with you, I'm not sure you can.

We're investigating a robbery that happened today.

Your name has come up.

We're just wondering if you can come down

to the station, just to answer a few simple questions.

I don't understand. Do I need to call a lawyer or something?

Oh god no, nothing like that.

We just want to rule you out of our inquiries, that's all.

Well, it's getting a bit late. Could we do this tomorrow morning?

Rather do it now, just to get things out of the way, you understand?

OK, so, shall I come in your car?

-Perfect. -I'll tell you what. Saunders can drive your car.

Don't worry about it, he's a good driver.

If you can't trust a policeman, then who can you trust, hey?

Mr. Rose.

Adam do this, Adam do that.

I'm sure I got the short straw in this shit.

Would you mind if I make a phone call?

I'm supposed to be meeting a friend of mine tomorrow.

And because it's late I think I should cancel.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

But would you mind putting it on speakerphone?

Who the fuck is that?

Hi Adam, sorry it's late. I hope I didn't wake you.

Of course not. What's up?

I don't want you to panic because there's nothing to worry about

but I'm currently sitting in the back of a police car on the way to

-Whitechapel Police Station. -Did you hear that, mate?

Fucking hell, Chris, man.

What's happened? What do you want me to do?

First of all, I'm not sure I'm gonna make training

session tomorrow with Demetri.

So if you can sweat that out, please, and

also, if you can meet me at the station later.

Of course, mate. I'm in a bit of car trouble at the moment.

That's fine, mate. My car's at the station, you can borrow that.

You know where the spare key is and

I'll see you at the station, OK? I've got to go now, mate.

Yeah, I'll call you later when I need you.

OK, broth, I'll wait for your call.

-Cheers. -Good luck to you.

For the benefit of the tape, this is an informal interview

-with Mr. Chris Rose on the, umm- -Eighteenth.

Eighteenth of July at, umm...

Twelve-thirty, a.m.

Uh, twelve-thirty, a.m.

Firstly, I'd like to say thank you very much

for helping us with our inquiries, Mr. Rose.

It's no problem. I'm happy to help.

I just wish it was a bit earlier in the day.

-And I wish I knew what this was about. -Quiet.

Anyway, we brought you in because we believe

you might be able to help us

answer some very

puzzling questions we have.

Can you tell us where you were

at 5 p.m. today?

Yeah, I can. It's

slightly embarrassing, but I was breaking up with my girlfriend Ashley.

And she can verify that, can she?

Yeah. Yeah, of course she can. It was

bit ugly, how we left it.

So I don't know how helpful she'll be.

See, I, I cheated on her.

But I do have this text message which might help.

Ah, yeah.

Can you tell me what this is about?

Well, today at 5 p.m.

two guys walked into the East London Trainer Store

sneakers

and robbed it

-wearing footballers' masks. -Oh my god, was it a mask of me?

Why would you think that?

Well, recently my agent signed this deal with

this practical joke company, making rubber masks for the fans.

-Look, like I can show you here. -That won't be necessary.

The reason we asked you to come in is because two

of the thieves have committed two crimes that we know of.

You might have seen reports in the papers last week

about the security van heist?

Where the two thieves were

dressed and had masks on like professional footballers?

Well, although the MO's on these robberies have changed

we believe they were committed by the same pair of guys.

Wait, sorry, I'm confused.

So off of that, you're going to interview every Premiership footballer?

-Good luck with that. -Of course not, no. No.

No. You see, today we got a lucky break.

Well, during the robbery the guy with the gun got his mask knocked off.

Shop CCTV

caught his face on camera.

Oh wow, I see now why you wanted to speak to me.

My god, it does look like me, doesn't it?

-And you're saying it's not-- -No, no, it's definitely not me.

I mean, I can see why you think it is.

If I had a twin brother, I'd be interviewing as well

but, like I said, it's definitely not me.

I'm a Premiership football player.

Why would I want to rob a shop?

And that is what's confusing us.

As I understand it you recently signed for East Stratford

and according to their press you aren't happy

with the transfer deal. Is that correct?

Yeah, but that's got nothing to do with this. That deal made me a good living.

I was annoyed that another player got paid more than me.

OK. I also hear that sometimes footballers

want to make the new player perform initiation pranks.

Do you think this is some sort of a joke?

If East Stratford knew I was here, I'd be sacked.

Look, Mr. Rose.

Chris.

All I'm saying is that sometimes

people do some very silly things

for any range of reasons.

And if for any reason

that man in that photograph is you

then I advise you to tell us

before it gets out of control.

Bloody hell, mate. What happened?

Oh, not much. Let's get in the car.

-So what happened, mate? -I'll tell you in the car.

Mr. Rose! Mr. Rose.

Just, just one more thing, umm

Here, yeah.

Here are my details.

If you remember anything

or think of any more you can tell us

you just give me a call, OK?

Yeah, of course, Detective. Thank you.

Wow, that is a beautiful motor.

You know, I've got two big German shepherds at home.

And my wife is always banging on at me about getting a bigger car.

And that can accommodate them.

Ho ho.

Ah, yes.

You don't mind, do you?

-What do we have here? -That's a long story, Detective.

You know what?

I don't think that boot's the right shape for us after all.

Oh, I thought we were done for then.

You really have no faith in me, do you?

-What happened there, mate? -I realized I need to get the loot.

Get the stuff sorted.

So I picked it up, took it right round to Demetri's.

-Came straight out. -Brilliant, mate. That is class!

Listen, it's time to go. I've had enough of this police station.

-Adam? -Yeah, mate.

What's the story with the bras, then?

I knew he'd look in the boot so I thought

-it would be funny if I replaced it with bras. -Funny?

-You thought it'd be funny? -Yeah, but it went better than I thought.

And when the copper looked in the back you should have seen

the look on your face.

Where'd you even get a box full of-?

Actually, you know what? I don't even want to know.

Adam, you're such a bastard.

I guess we can give the trainers to the team.

Probably not your style, Karina.

True.

Alexei, my brother.

When that fucking idiot scored his goal

I thought we'd lost a lot of money.

But you know what?

I think it could be the

-best thing that ever happened for us. -I agree.

But they have already paid back over a quarter

of what they owe in under a week.

Before we know it, they will be gone.

You're such a prophet of doom.

All that means is that we

and our associates

will get our money back quicker.

But I like this arrangement.

Free money, at no risk to us.

And who says

that it has to end?

I'm knackered, mate. What a day.

Yeah, I better go home before it gets any later.

You might as well stay here.

You don't have a bed at home, anyway.

Not really.

Just a sleeping bag and

kipping on the floor.

So what happened tonight? They really on to us?

I don't know.

They have a picture of us in the shop, that's about it.

Well, that's it then. We're fucked!

Now, mate, don't be such a defeatist.

That's why I signed with the Premiership and you didn't.

-So what are we going to do then? -We're continuing as before.

We're just gonna be a bit smarter about it, that's all.

We're gonna start with something you suggested yesterday.

So

in essence

I believe

that although we are playing extremely well individually

we're still having trouble

I say that fucking lightly

gelling as a team.

OK, I know what you're thinking.

This isn't limited to one area of the side, lads.

So no pointing fingers.

This is a problem across the board.

However

I have a solution.

I feel we should do some team activities together

other than football.

A little bonding session.

Come on, coach, we're supposed to be a football team.

Are you really planning on sending us on some

-team-building weekend? -Yeah, yeah, I've got to agree with Marcel.

I don't think that's the way to go.

I'm pleased to hear you two guys agree on something.

To be fair

I thought you choose the activity.

So get your little thinking caps on.

I want ideas by the end of the week.

As long as the insurance cover is OK with it, then so am I.

Get your stuff together, and let's go.

Right, broth, let's do this.

-Give us the money! -All right, give me the cash.

-All the cash, now. -Come on, come on. Get the money out.

Hurry up!

-That's it, that's it. The rest of the cash. -All the money, now.

Come on.

Give me a chocolate bar. Give me a chocolate bar, now!

Hurry up.

Wait for me, man. I can't find that box.

Give us your money.

-Give us your money now. -Put it in the bag.

Now!

Any jewels, anything you have, pull it. That's it.

You've got stuff, put it in the bag.

-Don't you fucking move. -Come on, hurry up.

-Give me a drink. -Come on.

Put your money in the bag. Come on, let's go, let's go.

Stay calm, stay calm.

-I'll check the back. -Give us all your money.

Fill the bag.

You're not gonna get hurt. Just give us the money.

OK? Stay calm.

You're not gonna get hurt. Just give us the money.

OK. Stay calm. Fill the bag with money.

The back's clear, the back's clear.

There's more there. Come on, get the rest.

More, there's more, there's more, let's go.

Fifteen seconds.

There's nothing else.

Those Ex-Footie Captains, they've struck again.

Wait, what did you call them?

It was the papers. They're calling them the Ex-Footie Captains.

Yeah, I see.

Oh well, told you they would, though.

-Come on, let's get going. -Not but sir...

It's another Algerian business.

Now that is not good news.

Move it.

Police are baffled by a sudden escalation

in the east London Essex area.

An official statement from Scotland Yard this evening

says the public should not be alarmed

as everything is under control.

However, many critics have slammed police procedures in this case

as amateur and bumbling.

-You've seen the paper, then? -You said it'd all be over soon.

Because tomorrow I'm bringing in Chris and Adam again.

Well, mate, this is it. We made it to the end.

Three weeks of hard graft

and only 500 grand left to get.

-What are you drinking? -Vodka.

I've acquired quite a taste for this over the past few weeks.

Why are we meeting in here?

I thought

if we're gonna do this

we might as well do it in style.

Premiership footballer style.

Lads, thanks so much for doing this for my friend and I.

Well, the coach did say he wanted us to do more stuff together.

Yeah, that's true.

But I think he meant something a little less dangerous.

Listen, boys

if anyone wants to back out

now is the time.

No one's gonna think any worse of you for it.

You've been given your assignments, now you're part of the plan.

Over here we've got the masks, outfits and tools.

Once you guys get changed, let's meet at the bus

it's gonna take us to tonight's venue.

Right, boys.

You and you stay here. The rest of you get inside now.

Let's go, let's go.

Right, boys. Now we're in, grab as much as you can carry

and let's get out of here as quick as you can. Let's go.

Here we are.

Final payday.

You ready to do this?

I've been ready since day one.

Let's get this over with.

There's ten more bags in my car.

At a rough count, we made it 700 grand in total.

Take his car keys, and bring up the bags.

But you only owed me another five hundred.

Why the extra?

We got lucky.

We hope the extra 200 grand will buy our freedom.

We figured you probably had no intention

-of letting us go after we paid you back. -Very clever.

Very smart.

And

very correct.

However

you are an honorable man, Christopher Rose.

You promised that you would pay me back

and you have.

So

what do I do now?

Alexei, what do you think?

Now the police are on their tails

I say let them go.

One in the hand, and all that.

I agree.

They got lucky, this time.

We don't want to push, our luck.

-Look at the mess they made of the original deal. -It's true.

OK.

You have a deal, boys.

You have bought your freedom. But

I never

want to cross paths with either one of you

again.

Do I make myself clear?

-Not a peep. -No more gambling for me.

I'm a reformed man.

What the fuck is going on?

Chris!

Chris!

Fuck it!

Get your hands off of me!

I'm sorry, Chris. What the hell just happened?

Mate, I couldn't tell you. But I've been working with the police.

Detective, can you take these off now?

Tell me, why the fuck not? We're best mates.

-We tell each other everything. -Plausible deniability, mate.

Aka, you're shit at lying.

You wonder why you lost so much money gambling?

You have a tell.

You rub your nose when you're not telling the truth.

Detective.

-Did we get enough evidence? -We got the whole conversation.

I think Demetri and his pals will be going away for a very long time.

Well, now, Chris, I have so many questions.

I don't know where to start.

Well, mate, it started when I went into questioning.

If for any reason

that man in that photograph is you

then I advise you to tell us

before it gets out of control.

OK, OK, you're right.

It is me in the picture.

My friend and I are being blackmailed by the Russian mafia.

And we need to pay them back.

Lee.

Why don't you go and see that lovely missus of yours, hey?

Umm, yeah, I might.

-Go well. -I'll leave you to it, then.

Don't smoke.

Nor me.

Now do you want to tell me how you got involved

with the Russian mafia?

I guess Crawford reminds you of your old man.

He was Old Bill too, wasn't he?

It was Chris' only way out of this nightmare.

Together, we came up with a new plan.

One that would keep Demetri thinking

we the police knew nothing.

Hey, Crawford, it's Rice.

It's going down now.

And after all, mate.

What police service would allow two guys to carry on

stealing stuff?

Didn't you ever wonder how Demetri was able to keep

such close tabs on us?

It was because the mobile Alexei gave me

they simply used it to track our movements.

And knowing that

aided me in the second part of our plan.

Sergeant Rice.

Is it happening tonight?

Yes, we've been informed. They're on their way.

From that point on

all the crimes were faked by the police.

Using confiscated evidence

and police funds as loot.

I know this is one of Crawford's hare-brained schemes.

We've all done schemes before.

So get into your civvies and get your kit in a box, please.

But eventually

we knew we needed to bring it to a proper end.

The police couldn't fund the fakery any more

and we needed a result before Demetri moved

all our ill-gotten gains.

That's when I got the rest of the team involved, mate.

They helped us supply the money for the first four bags.

And they loved the idea of staging a stealing adventure

for the Russians to watch too.

And me, by the sound of it.

So what did you actually steal?

Nappies.

Twelve big bags of nappies.

How'd the police go along with it?

We've been after Demetri and his goons for years

but couldn't get anywhere near him.

We could've entrapped him, but we're not allowed to do that.

You two, on the other hand, were causing mayhem.

I just had to, refocus your goals.

I still can't believe it, man.

Thank you so much for everything.

Listen, mate, forget it.

I'm just glad it all worked out in the end.

And now for the last piece of the puzzle.

Here's all your money back that you lost gambling.

What? How?

I got my 75 grand back.

Because the police recovered the stolen trainers

the insurance company paid a nice little reward.

So this one's for you.

I've got one for someone else as well.

Bet you're proud of yourself, hey, Chris?

Do you know how much trouble you've caused

-the footballing world? -It's OK, babe. Don't stress about him.

He needs these little moments to feel loved.

Even if he shits on his friends.

Oh, Marcel.

One thing's been bothering me for weeks

about you now. As much as I don't like you

you're a damn good player.

Better than you?

Thank you, have a seat.

You know I said, you're the only one not in the fake robbery?

There's someone else.

Wasn't that, Marcel?

See, as good as a player as Marcel is

he's yet to score a goal.

And then there's tackling your own teammate--

Sorry, what are you insinuating?

You've been taking bribes to fix games from the beginning, haven't you?

Marcel Remi.

I'm arresting you on suspicion of fixing matches for financial gain.

Who's on tail, mate?

-Do you want to translate that? -You're next!

Get off of him!

Chris! Chris!

Ladies and gentlemen, if I can have your attention, please.

Um, I'd like to introduce you to a very dear friend of mine.

This is Josh.

Josh.

On behalf of East Stratford FC

I give you, take this cheque and spend it as you see fit.

Thank you.

Oh my gosh.

We've just been handed a cheque for 100 thousand pounds.

Thank you, East Stratford.

And thank you, Chris Rose.

Chris, where are you going, mate?

Come back and party, you've earned it, broth.

Yeah, maybe, mate.

But

There's one thing I've got to take care of first.

See you in a bit, OK?

All right.

Thanks for everything, broth. You've been a true pal you know?

Oh, say hello to her for me, won't you?

Hey, Chris, is that you?

I've got a lot of explaining I need to do.

I need to see you.

OK, yeah, sure, umm...

I'll be right over.

Ashley.

I love you, babe.

Get in the car.

Excuse me, are you Chris Rose?

Yeah, mate.