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1
00:00:19,321 --> 00:00:21,390
- So what number are you on now?
- Seven.
2
00:00:21,415 --> 00:00:23,758
Wow. That's good.
3
00:00:24,187 --> 00:00:25,770
Seven's good; you said going to a party
4
00:00:25,795 --> 00:00:27,765
would put you on a nine for anxiety.
5
00:00:27,790 --> 00:00:30,204
It's quite a strong seven.
6
00:00:30,838 --> 00:00:32,758
Well, it's still good.
7
00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:35,255
- Have you done your breathing?
- Yeah.
8
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,500
Brilliant.
9
00:00:36,882 --> 00:00:39,477
Well, you've only got to stay for about
half an hour if you want.
10
00:00:39,502 --> 00:00:41,157
Okay. Thanks, Dad.
11
00:00:53,624 --> 00:00:55,195
_
12
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:57,568
- Mum!
- Just getting ready.
13
00:00:57,932 --> 00:01:00,170
Can you help me
with my history homework?
14
00:01:00,343 --> 00:01:02,014
Well, unless it's about the history
15
00:01:02,039 --> 00:01:04,978
of Brookside characters
from 1992 to 1997,
16
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:07,040
I'm afraid I've got nothing
for you, sweetie.
17
00:01:07,065 --> 00:01:08,178
It's about the Falklands War.
18
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,834
Ah, I said that I was getting ready,
19
00:01:09,859 --> 00:01:12,331
so can you please just
give me a fucking moment?
20
00:01:12,504 --> 00:01:14,701
Go get my phone from my bag, Ava.
21
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:18,099
An ex-boyfriend of mine
was part of the task force.
22
00:01:18,124 --> 00:01:19,503
Catering, below deck,
23
00:01:19,536 --> 00:01:22,241
but he would've
heard the majority of it.
24
00:01:23,378 --> 00:01:24,818
Thanks, Granny.
25
00:01:25,536 --> 00:01:28,068
You really need to tell Paul.
26
00:01:29,394 --> 00:01:31,060
Paul?
27
00:01:31,085 --> 00:01:32,810
- Paul.
- Come here, mate.
28
00:01:32,835 --> 00:01:36,123
Oi, behave yourself,
or there's no ice cream till you're 15.
29
00:01:36,148 --> 00:01:37,781
Actually, that's a bit harsh.
30
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,341
Paul, I need to tell you
something important.
31
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:40,423
Oh?
32
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:41,652
I'm pregnant.
33
00:01:44,865 --> 00:01:46,459
Wow.
34
00:01:46,484 --> 00:01:48,685
- Why are you pulling that face?
- What face?
35
00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:50,787
This is literally what my face does.
36
00:01:50,812 --> 00:01:52,092
What face am I supposed to pull?
37
00:01:52,117 --> 00:01:54,255
Oh, I don't know, happy? Neutral?
38
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,652
Anything other than that horrible,
sour fucking grimace.
39
00:01:56,677 --> 00:01:59,315
No, it's... it's just a shock,
that's all.
40
00:01:59,348 --> 00:02:00,518
And I thought we'd agreed.
41
00:02:00,543 --> 00:02:02,162
Agr... agreed what? What did we agree?
42
00:02:02,187 --> 00:02:03,734
That we wouldn't have
another one just yet.
43
00:02:03,758 --> 00:02:05,460
Well, I'm sorry it's such shit news.
44
00:02:05,485 --> 00:02:06,697
I'll go and have an abortion, shall I?
45
00:02:06,721 --> 00:02:08,232
What's Vera Drake's number?
46
00:02:08,257 --> 00:02:10,739
I'm sorry.
I'm so... I'm just taking it in.
47
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:11,934
Luke nearly broke me.
48
00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:13,998
Right, he's still breaking me.
49
00:02:14,023 --> 00:02:16,227
I do love you, mate,
but you know it's true.
50
00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:17,761
I've got a baby in me,
51
00:02:17,786 --> 00:02:18,843
and do you know what it feels like
52
00:02:18,867 --> 00:02:21,178
to have you act like
that's the worst news ever?
53
00:02:21,203 --> 00:02:22,640
No. Honestly.
54
00:02:22,665 --> 00:02:23,790
- Ally.
- No.
55
00:02:23,815 --> 00:02:24,815
Hon...
56
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,568
I hope you realize
you're paying for this.
57
00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:39,195
Is this Leo's house, then?
58
00:02:39,228 --> 00:02:40,297
Yeah, that's it.
59
00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:41,657
It's nice.
60
00:02:42,301 --> 00:02:44,024
Bit showy.
61
00:02:44,476 --> 00:02:45,951
So what do his parents do for a living?
62
00:02:45,975 --> 00:02:47,735
His mum's a teacher,
and his dad's a potter.
63
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,759
- A potter?
- Mmm, he makes pots. Clay.
64
00:02:50,784 --> 00:02:53,365
Like the ones Mum likes.
You know, brown and a bit wonky.
65
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,633
He used to be in banking.
66
00:02:54,658 --> 00:02:56,885
Oh, for f... Right. Say no more.
67
00:02:57,364 --> 00:02:58,711
I'm not jealous.
68
00:02:58,736 --> 00:02:59,846
It's a nice house, that's all.
69
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:01,783
A potter. Um...
70
00:03:03,342 --> 00:03:04,856
Right, I'll be at the end of the phone
71
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,189
if you need me to come and get you.
72
00:03:06,213 --> 00:03:07,585
I'll try and stay till the end,
73
00:03:07,619 --> 00:03:09,097
and then Leo's dad can give me a lift.
74
00:03:09,121 --> 00:03:11,468
Oh, all right, well,
I'll listen out for the helicopter.
75
00:03:15,885 --> 00:03:17,822
What do you reckon, mate? Give it a go?
76
00:03:24,213 --> 00:03:26,697
Luke, be yourself.
77
00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:28,669
If you need to,
you can go into the garden
78
00:03:28,694 --> 00:03:30,330
and do your breathing.
79
00:03:32,569 --> 00:03:35,166
- Okay. See you later.
- Yep.
80
00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:44,697
You poor sod.
81
00:03:49,636 --> 00:03:52,059
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
82
00:03:57,903 --> 00:03:59,723
Hmm, what pizza are you having?
83
00:03:59,756 --> 00:04:01,969
Pbbt, Pepperoni Hot, baby.
84
00:04:01,994 --> 00:04:05,184
Same pizza choice since 1989.
What about you?
85
00:04:05,209 --> 00:04:06,546
I'm going bespoke.
86
00:04:06,571 --> 00:04:07,717
Toppings from all over the place.
87
00:04:07,741 --> 00:04:09,551
Jazz pizza. More of this, hold that.
88
00:04:09,576 --> 00:04:10,778
They're gonna hate me.
89
00:04:10,812 --> 00:04:12,052
Can I get you guys anything to drink?
90
00:04:12,076 --> 00:04:13,793
Um, yeah, I'll have a pint of Peroni.
91
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:15,481
Just a fizzy water, thanks.
92
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,940
So you're pregnant.
93
00:04:18,965 --> 00:04:20,364
What?
94
00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:23,193
Never been out for a meal with you
where you haven't had wine
95
00:04:23,217 --> 00:04:25,542
unless you were
pregnant or breastfeeding.
96
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:28,989
- Really?
- It has literally never happened.
97
00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:31,753
I've also picked up on
some other clues...
98
00:04:31,787 --> 00:04:33,824
You being mental, for a start.
99
00:04:35,425 --> 00:04:38,098
Listen, this is our first
date night out in months.
100
00:04:38,123 --> 00:04:39,208
- Yeah.
- And we've got, what,
101
00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:40,669
three hours before Mum finishes
102
00:04:40,694 --> 00:04:42,398
her third bottle and then falls asleep
103
00:04:42,423 --> 00:04:44,654
with the deadlock on,
so there is a hard deadline.
104
00:04:44,679 --> 00:04:48,262
Yeah, but fucking hell, hon... a baby.
105
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:49,387
I mean, a...
106
00:04:49,412 --> 00:04:52,622
A baby, that is a very big deal.
107
00:04:52,647 --> 00:04:55,251
Yeah, no, I know,
and I know we need to get into this,
108
00:04:55,276 --> 00:04:57,387
but before that, if at all possible,
109
00:04:57,412 --> 00:05:00,017
I would love to order
a really complicated pizza
110
00:05:00,042 --> 00:05:01,979
and then eat the whole thing very,
very quickly
111
00:05:02,004 --> 00:05:04,145
whilst we bitch about
people we pretend to like.
112
00:05:05,128 --> 00:05:06,340
Okay.
113
00:05:06,365 --> 00:05:07,367
Thanks.
114
00:05:07,392 --> 00:05:08,861
Are we ready to order?
115
00:05:08,886 --> 00:05:10,423
Yes, uh, this could get complicated,
116
00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:11,815
so you might want to get a pen.
117
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:12,844
And a slide rule.
118
00:05:12,869 --> 00:05:14,982
- Right, margherita base, extra basil.
- Right.
119
00:05:15,006 --> 00:05:17,403
Then capers, anchovies,
black olives, smoked garlic,
120
00:05:17,428 --> 00:05:19,473
red peppers, green peppers,
yellow peppers.
121
00:05:19,498 --> 00:05:21,536
- I'll just put peppers.
- Mushrooms...
122
00:05:30,407 --> 00:05:32,512
Hi, Mum. Is everything all right?
123
00:05:32,537 --> 00:05:34,840
- I wasn't asleep.
- Clearly.
124
00:05:34,865 --> 00:05:36,893
- How was the restaurant?
- It was fine.
125
00:05:36,918 --> 00:05:38,456
Did you tell him you're pregnant?
126
00:05:38,481 --> 00:05:41,366
Yes, but what if I hadn't?
Fucking hell, Mum.
127
00:05:41,391 --> 00:05:43,389
Right, so suddenly I'm the bad guy.
128
00:05:43,414 --> 00:05:44,667
Yes, you are.
129
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,678
Hormones. She doesn't
know what she's saying.
130
00:05:46,703 --> 00:05:48,641
- Think she might do.
- Headlines.
131
00:05:48,674 --> 00:05:51,405
Luke looked quite grim when
he got back from his party,
132
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:53,033
and Ava seems a bit off.
133
00:05:53,058 --> 00:05:54,718
- Hmm.
- How are you doing?
134
00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:56,974
How are you feeling about the baby?
135
00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:58,177
Not sure.
136
00:05:58,202 --> 00:05:59,796
Between you, me, and the garden gate,
137
00:05:59,829 --> 00:06:02,290
I have four friends
who had three children.
138
00:06:02,315 --> 00:06:03,818
Two of them didn't see 60.
139
00:06:03,843 --> 00:06:06,499
- Terrific.
- Just a word to the wise.
140
00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:09,381
Three is the tragic number.
141
00:06:14,703 --> 00:06:17,439
I've just been feeling,
like, weird as balls.
142
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,147
Just, like, really odd.
143
00:06:20,944 --> 00:06:23,084
The whole thing is just daft.
144
00:06:23,109 --> 00:06:24,779
You're definitely sure you're pregnant?
145
00:06:24,804 --> 00:06:26,558
Yes, I've been collecting
pregnancy tests
146
00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:27,695
like they're fucking Pokémon.
147
00:06:27,719 --> 00:06:29,163
And... and this one,
148
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,110
is it... is it making you
feel the same kind of weird
149
00:06:31,134 --> 00:06:32,537
as Luke and Ava did, or...
150
00:06:32,562 --> 00:06:33,593
I mean, I can't remember.
151
00:06:33,618 --> 00:06:35,977
The whole thing is...
is weird, isn't it?
152
00:06:36,002 --> 00:06:39,374
I mean, growing a human
inside you is nuts.
153
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,902
I do know that Ava made me go
154
00:06:40,927 --> 00:06:42,790
the most mental when she was born.
155
00:06:42,815 --> 00:06:45,128
Just, like, this tiny vampire
156
00:06:45,153 --> 00:06:48,483
sucking my life out through my tits.
157
00:06:48,598 --> 00:06:49,666
Ah.
158
00:06:49,691 --> 00:06:51,538
I know. It was tough.
159
00:06:51,563 --> 00:06:53,553
I mean, of course, I don't have tits,
160
00:06:53,578 --> 00:06:55,549
so I can't fully appreciate your...
161
00:06:55,574 --> 00:06:57,257
Well...
162
00:06:57,282 --> 00:06:58,730
What's that me...
You think I've got tits?
163
00:06:58,754 --> 00:07:01,132
It just... it happens
to men in their 40s.
164
00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:03,064
Oh. Look at these.
165
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,632
I've suddenly got some tits.
166
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,710
Fuck you.
167
00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:11,351
Mm.
168
00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:14,075
Hello.
169
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,983
Hi, yeah, this is Luke's dad.
170
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:18,022
Paul.
171
00:07:18,219 --> 00:07:20,491
Oh, hello, Leo's mum.
Everything all right?
172
00:07:22,462 --> 00:07:25,138
No, I'm just decanting a shiraz.
173
00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:28,475
Yeah, no, Luke seemed fine. Why?
174
00:07:29,776 --> 00:07:31,507
Oi, bell end.
175
00:07:32,061 --> 00:07:33,586
Leo's mum told me that you were smoking
176
00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:35,255
- in their gazebo.
- What's a gazebo?
177
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,271
I don't fucking know, do I?
178
00:07:37,296 --> 00:07:38,397
Were you smoking?
179
00:07:38,422 --> 00:07:40,349
No. Some of the others were.
180
00:07:40,374 --> 00:07:41,742
I went into the garden
'cause I had a bit
181
00:07:41,766 --> 00:07:43,703
of a panic attack and needed some air.
182
00:07:43,769 --> 00:07:46,183
But I didn't go in the gazebo thing,
and I didn't smoke.
183
00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:47,303
- Really?
- Really!
184
00:07:47,328 --> 00:07:49,157
I swear to Christ, mate,
you telling me the truth?
185
00:07:49,181 --> 00:07:50,751
Yes.
186
00:07:53,218 --> 00:07:55,026
All right. Good.
187
00:07:55,153 --> 00:07:57,275
- I believe you.
- Thank you.
188
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,785
I'm sorry you had a panic attack.
That must've been rough.
189
00:07:59,809 --> 00:08:01,512
It was. Thanks.
190
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:05,132
Did I make you lose your game?
191
00:08:05,157 --> 00:08:06,997
It's all right.
It's not that sort of a game.
192
00:08:08,101 --> 00:08:09,464
All right.
193
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:11,184
You should turn it off anyway.
194
00:08:11,209 --> 00:08:12,679
Go to sleep, please.
195
00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:25,195
I'm having doubts.
196
00:08:26,935 --> 00:08:28,672
- Baby doubts?
- Yeah.
197
00:08:28,697 --> 00:08:30,166
I mean, not as in small doubts,
198
00:08:30,191 --> 00:08:33,242
as in doubts about the baby. I'm...
199
00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:36,382
I'm not sure if I want this baby.
200
00:08:37,971 --> 00:08:39,375
Okay.
201
00:08:40,397 --> 00:08:43,164
That is a perfectly
reasonable thing to think.
202
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,795
I just, uh... I just don't know.
203
00:08:48,042 --> 00:08:51,572
Well, if you were a pendulum, right?
204
00:08:51,741 --> 00:08:54,658
With "sure" and "not sure"
205
00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:56,533
either side of you,
206
00:08:56,558 --> 00:08:58,994
what angle would you be at right now?
207
00:08:59,611 --> 00:09:03,223
Um... sorry, where are
you measuring the angle from?
208
00:09:03,248 --> 00:09:04,248
The middle.
209
00:09:04,273 --> 00:09:05,786
And which way is the pendulum going?
210
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,682
Either way. That's... that's the point.
211
00:09:07,707 --> 00:09:08,842
You're the pendulum.
212
00:09:08,867 --> 00:09:11,539
Right, so if I say "30 degrees,"
213
00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:13,100
is that 30 degrees towards the side
214
00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:15,261
that I'm in favor of or
towards the other side?
215
00:09:15,286 --> 00:09:16,608
No, it's towards the...
216
00:09:16,633 --> 00:09:18,310
You're making this
unnecessarily complicated.
217
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:19,904
No, you are.
218
00:09:19,929 --> 00:09:21,775
You haven't explained
any of the essential...
219
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,136
Okay. Fine. Shh, shh.
220
00:09:23,161 --> 00:09:24,576
- It's all right. It's all right.
- Components.
221
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,055
It's fine. It's not a problem.
222
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,283
It was a bad idea.
223
00:09:27,308 --> 00:09:28,615
Don't worry, it's fine.
224
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,550
- 20 degrees.
- Right, which way?
225
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,290
- I don't know.
- Fuck's sake, that's...
226
00:09:38,315 --> 00:09:39,339
That way.
227
00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:41,434
- No.
- What way was that?
228
00:09:41,459 --> 00:09:43,737
- I don't know.
- Fuck me ragged.
229
00:09:54,569 --> 00:09:55,972
Hi.
230
00:09:56,068 --> 00:09:58,362
- Hi, Mum.
- Aw.
231
00:09:59,768 --> 00:10:02,604
You were such a cute little baby fatso.
232
00:10:02,637 --> 00:10:04,451
We used to call you Kenny Podgers.
233
00:10:08,456 --> 00:10:10,571
You okay, Ava-cado?
234
00:10:10,831 --> 00:10:12,134
Yeah.
235
00:10:13,432 --> 00:10:16,386
I've been a bit of a dick
to you lately. I'm so sorry.
236
00:10:17,022 --> 00:10:19,223
Do you wanna do something fun,
you and me?
237
00:10:19,248 --> 00:10:20,573
Like what?
238
00:10:25,301 --> 00:10:27,405
Wow! A tent bunk.
239
00:10:27,430 --> 00:10:29,604
I'd have loved one of these at your age.
240
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,886
Bit of a dust trap.
241
00:10:30,911 --> 00:10:33,351
Ah, no, it'd be so cool in your room.
242
00:10:33,376 --> 00:10:36,348
Right, I'm going up.
You just keep watch.
243
00:10:36,373 --> 00:10:38,542
So graceful.
244
00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:42,937
Ah. Come on up. It's lovely.
245
00:10:42,962 --> 00:10:44,878
It's like camping, but it's nice.
246
00:10:45,983 --> 00:10:47,183
Come on.
247
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:49,717
Hey, if you have a sleepover,
your friend can go underneath,
248
00:10:49,742 --> 00:10:52,354
or they can snuggle up in here.
249
00:10:53,122 --> 00:10:54,892
Sorry.
250
00:10:54,972 --> 00:10:56,214
What, love?
251
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,702
Sorry I hurt you when I was born.
252
00:10:58,727 --> 00:10:59,970
I heard you and Dad.
253
00:10:59,995 --> 00:11:01,839
When? Oh, my God.
254
00:11:01,864 --> 00:11:04,018
I made you mental and
sucked the life out of you.
255
00:11:04,043 --> 00:11:06,250
No, no, no, no, no, no. You didn't.
256
00:11:06,275 --> 00:11:07,558
Oh, my sweet thing.
257
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:10,581
I didn't want you to hear any of that.
258
00:11:10,606 --> 00:11:12,329
You were really sad when I was born.
259
00:11:12,354 --> 00:11:14,573
Oh... God, I can't stand you thinking
260
00:11:14,598 --> 00:11:16,237
that you ever made me sad, no.
261
00:11:16,262 --> 00:11:17,731
Not now!
262
00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:19,869
Ava, look at me.
263
00:11:19,894 --> 00:11:22,198
It wasn't you, ever,
264
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,042
and it was only for a little while.
265
00:11:24,636 --> 00:11:26,423
Look, most new mums,
266
00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:28,550
they can get a bit wobbly,
267
00:11:28,575 --> 00:11:30,657
but they just...
they just don't admit it.
268
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,430
It doesn't mean that they
don't love their babies.
269
00:11:34,298 --> 00:11:35,868
I loved you.
270
00:11:35,901 --> 00:11:37,972
I love you, okay?
271
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:45,863
I'm worried about the new baby.
272
00:11:45,888 --> 00:11:47,123
What? Oh.
273
00:11:47,148 --> 00:11:48,969
Oh, right. Ah, shit.
274
00:11:48,994 --> 00:11:50,105
Listen, we would have told you.
275
00:11:50,129 --> 00:11:52,033
It's just, it's... it's so early,
276
00:11:52,058 --> 00:11:53,964
but please don't worry.
277
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,093
We're still gonna love you
and Luke just the same.
278
00:11:56,118 --> 00:11:58,289
No, I'm worried 'cause
you're an older mum.
279
00:11:58,314 --> 00:11:59,550
So many things could go wrong
280
00:11:59,575 --> 00:12:01,159
- with you and the baby.
- Oh.
281
00:12:01,184 --> 00:12:03,297
Well, Grace's mum had
a baby when she was 39,
282
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:04,914
- so a lot younger than you.
- Right.
283
00:12:04,939 --> 00:12:06,653
And the doctor said
there was an increased risk
284
00:12:06,677 --> 00:12:08,882
of complications: high blood pressure,
285
00:12:08,907 --> 00:12:11,078
miscarriage, stillbirth,
286
00:12:11,103 --> 00:12:12,516
even you dying.
287
00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:14,635
It's really dangerous
being a geriatric mum.
288
00:12:14,660 --> 00:12:15,688
Geriatric?
289
00:12:15,713 --> 00:12:17,425
Yeah, that's what
they called Grace's mum.
290
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,452
If you're over 35, you're geriatric.
291
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:21,425
Jesus. This is all a bit mad.
292
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,969
- It is a bit mad.
- Yes, it... it is,
293
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:26,277
but I promise
I will look after myself, okay?
294
00:12:26,302 --> 00:12:28,555
No booze, no cigarettes.
295
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:32,695
I will eat kale and quinoa
and that horrible yogurt
296
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,494
and all that Gwyneth Paltrow shit,
297
00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:37,977
and I will drink all of the water,
all right?
298
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:40,172
I love you.
299
00:12:42,497 --> 00:12:44,373
Do you want to use
one of my baby names?
300
00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:46,442
You have names for your babies?
301
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:49,464
Yep. Taylor, Jaguar, Jo, Meg,
302
00:12:49,489 --> 00:12:52,288
Beth, Amy, Saoirse, Serenity, and Salem.
303
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,773
Aw, baby Jaguar.
304
00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:57,211
Actually, you can't have that one.
That's my favorite.
305
00:12:57,397 --> 00:12:59,219
Okay. You're my favorite.
306
00:12:59,244 --> 00:13:02,586
But don't tell Luke
or baby Jaguar, all right?
307
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,606
Come on.
308
00:13:06,111 --> 00:13:07,805
Everything's gonna be fine.
309
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,245
I promise.
310
00:13:16,356 --> 00:13:18,214
Cheers, can you stick
a battered sausage
311
00:13:18,239 --> 00:13:19,352
in there too, Nat?
312
00:13:19,377 --> 00:13:20,846
- Will do, mate.
- Thank you.
313
00:13:20,871 --> 00:13:21,883
Can I get a Fanta?
314
00:13:21,908 --> 00:13:23,400
There's a new lot in
the fridge out the back.
315
00:13:23,424 --> 00:13:24,736
You can pop through and fetch one, Luke.
316
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,896
Cheers.
317
00:13:25,921 --> 00:13:27,274
What's the damage?
318
00:13:27,299 --> 00:13:30,638
- £21.50.
- Oh, fuck, is it cash only?
319
00:13:30,663 --> 00:13:32,243
Until the card
what's-his-name is fixed, yeah.
320
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:34,688
- Sorry, Paul.
- I'm a bit short. Uh...
321
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:36,251
one second.
322
00:13:36,276 --> 00:13:37,579
Luke's a hoarder.
323
00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:40,102
He'll probably have some
shrapnel in here somewhere.
324
00:13:42,938 --> 00:13:44,375
The fuck?
325
00:13:44,716 --> 00:13:46,452
That's a bit "EastEnders" drums, innit?
326
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,469
Yeah, just a bit.
327
00:13:55,414 --> 00:13:56,701
What?
328
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,990
- It's the fucking lying that gets me.
- I know. I'm sorry.
329
00:14:00,015 --> 00:14:01,133
I believed you!
330
00:14:01,158 --> 00:14:02,631
I was sympathetic.
331
00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:04,990
Your anxiety, your panic attack.
332
00:14:05,015 --> 00:14:06,654
I really did have a panic attack.
333
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,568
That's why I've been smoking.
It calms me down.
334
00:14:08,593 --> 00:14:10,615
No, it doesn't;
it just calms the jitters
335
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,455
you get from nicotine withdrawal.
336
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,162
I know about this stuff.
337
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,330
- Fucking hell, it'll kill you.
- I know.
338
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,146
Your lungs are still developing.
339
00:14:18,171 --> 00:14:20,607
Look, I'm sorry. I'll stop smoking.
340
00:14:20,632 --> 00:14:23,377
I've only had, like,
15 cigarettes in total.
341
00:14:23,402 --> 00:14:26,143
How can you even afford them?
They cost a fortune.
342
00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:28,010
I used the money Granny Leah gave me.
343
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,477
She gave you that to
get yourself something nice.
344
00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:33,259
- Please don't tell her.
- I'll fucking do as I like, mate.
345
00:14:33,284 --> 00:14:35,587
You're in no position
to tell me what to do.
346
00:14:36,383 --> 00:14:38,009
Fuck.
347
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:45,736
You haven't said that I smoke
and am therefore a hypocrite.
348
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,048
No, I know.
349
00:14:47,073 --> 00:14:48,410
I am a hypocrite. I know it.
350
00:14:48,435 --> 00:14:51,173
But I'd rather be a hypocrite
than a fucking liar.
351
00:14:51,198 --> 00:14:52,682
I'll tell you, mate, if I ever catch you
352
00:14:52,706 --> 00:14:55,419
with cigarettes again,
there will be hell to pay.
353
00:14:55,444 --> 00:14:56,814
- Got it?
- Got it.
354
00:14:56,839 --> 00:14:58,108
Good.
355
00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:16,694
Please stop.
356
00:15:16,719 --> 00:15:18,952
Please stop crying.
357
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:21,879
Please, you can't be hungry.
358
00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,811
You've already had a bucketload.
359
00:15:24,645 --> 00:15:26,403
Please, Ava.
360
00:15:26,428 --> 00:15:28,165
I haven't got anything left.
361
00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:30,686
I'm not a fucking dairy farm.
362
00:15:31,576 --> 00:15:32,841
Fine.
363
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:34,211
Come on, then.
364
00:15:38,486 --> 00:15:40,640
No?
365
00:15:40,665 --> 00:15:43,200
Okay, so you're not hungry.
You're not wet.
366
00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:45,133
You're not windy. You're not sleepy.
367
00:15:45,158 --> 00:15:47,964
What the fuck could you possibly want?
368
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:52,983
Oh.
369
00:15:53,783 --> 00:15:55,687
Oh, okay.
370
00:15:55,835 --> 00:15:57,911
Hello, smiler.
371
00:15:57,936 --> 00:15:59,343
Hi.
372
00:15:59,368 --> 00:16:01,674
Sorry about that.
373
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,233
Hello.
374
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:09,280
- Ally.
- Hi. Come in. Take a seat.
375
00:16:09,305 --> 00:16:11,069
I'll be with you in just a minute.
376
00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,634
So I had my doubts... well,
we both did...
377
00:16:14,659 --> 00:16:17,731
Um, but I thought and thought, and yeah,
378
00:16:17,765 --> 00:16:20,890
I'm sure I wanna keep the baby.
379
00:16:21,097 --> 00:16:22,332
Right.
380
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,397
You don't think I should
'cause of my age.
381
00:16:24,787 --> 00:16:27,325
Ally, I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,
382
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:29,087
but you're not pregnant.
383
00:16:29,276 --> 00:16:31,249
- I am.
- You're not.
384
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:33,640
I am pregnant.
385
00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:38,617
How am... how am I not pregnant?
386
00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:40,318
I mean, I... how?
387
00:16:40,343 --> 00:16:42,100
I've been so hormonal.
388
00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:44,527
That's because your HCG level is high.
389
00:16:44,552 --> 00:16:46,913
HCG is, indeed, a pregnancy hormone,
390
00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:49,169
but also, in the early
stages of menopause,
391
00:16:49,194 --> 00:16:50,597
your HCG can spike...
392
00:16:50,622 --> 00:16:52,522
Early, sorry, what?
393
00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:55,337
Basically,
the symptoms of perimenopause
394
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:58,553
can be almost identical to pregnancy.
395
00:16:58,578 --> 00:17:00,182
Menopause?
396
00:17:00,207 --> 00:17:01,677
Um...
397
00:17:01,719 --> 00:17:02,992
Hello!
398
00:17:03,017 --> 00:17:05,469
Peri. Not quite the menopause.
399
00:17:05,494 --> 00:17:07,805
Sorry, but do you know how old I am?
400
00:17:08,047 --> 00:17:10,039
It's on here, yes.
401
00:17:10,645 --> 00:17:13,133
Well, so it's... it's just...
402
00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:14,842
menopause?
403
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,450
It is early but not that unusual.
404
00:17:17,483 --> 00:17:19,702
Have you been having irregular periods?
405
00:17:19,727 --> 00:17:21,325
Anxiety?
406
00:17:21,477 --> 00:17:22,524
Yes, but...
407
00:17:22,549 --> 00:17:25,421
Any hot flushes or issues with memory?
408
00:17:25,446 --> 00:17:27,141
Fucking hell.
409
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:29,085
I thought that was just
stress and lack of sleep
410
00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,930
and being pregnant.
411
00:17:31,358 --> 00:17:33,305
Let me print you out a fact sheet.
412
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,641
It's a lot to take in, I do understand.
413
00:17:35,666 --> 00:17:37,565
Yeah, going from being pregnant
414
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,203
to being I don't know what, um...
415
00:17:39,228 --> 00:17:40,461
Take some time to read.
416
00:17:40,485 --> 00:17:41,852
Barren.
417
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:44,037
That's it. I'm barren.
418
00:17:44,505 --> 00:17:45,783
You could still get pregnant.
419
00:17:45,807 --> 00:17:46,977
- Could I?
- Yes.
420
00:17:47,002 --> 00:17:48,454
It wouldn't be easy.
421
00:17:48,479 --> 00:17:49,977
It would most probably need to be
422
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,426
via assisted conception,
423
00:17:51,451 --> 00:17:52,721
- IVF.
- Right.
424
00:17:52,755 --> 00:17:54,413
But doesn't that always mean twins?
425
00:17:54,438 --> 00:17:56,047
Not necessarily.
426
00:17:56,328 --> 00:17:58,641
But you do get a lot of twins.
427
00:17:59,081 --> 00:18:02,219
Oh. Vaginal dryness.
428
00:18:06,122 --> 00:18:08,313
- Hi.
- Hey.
429
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,321
Ooh. Look at that.
430
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:13,024
- Hey, guess what I found today.
- What?
431
00:18:13,049 --> 00:18:14,840
Packet of cigarettes in Luke's bag.
432
00:18:14,865 --> 00:18:16,502
No way! He said he wasn't smoking.
433
00:18:16,527 --> 00:18:17,729
He was lying.
434
00:18:17,754 --> 00:18:18,845
Turns out, he's a really good liar,
435
00:18:18,869 --> 00:18:21,032
which is gonna make
the next few years interesting.
436
00:18:21,057 --> 00:18:22,823
Said they help him
with his panic attacks.
437
00:18:22,848 --> 00:18:24,703
- Bollocks.
- No, I know.
438
00:18:25,073 --> 00:18:26,664
How was your day?
439
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:29,169
I'm not pregnant.
440
00:18:29,194 --> 00:18:31,566
- Yeah, you are.
- That's what I said.
441
00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:33,912
So the... the tests are wrong.
442
00:18:33,937 --> 00:18:35,595
Can that... can that happen?
You did three.
443
00:18:35,619 --> 00:18:38,423
Yeah, well,
it... it's a mad hormone thing.
444
00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:41,555
I'm not pregnant. I am perimenopausal.
445
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,668
Don't say that sounds
like a '50s pop star.
446
00:18:44,693 --> 00:18:46,164
I wasn't.
447
00:18:46,189 --> 00:18:47,910
Sure.
448
00:18:49,902 --> 00:18:52,407
So how are we feeling about that?
449
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,578
Um, well, it's a...
450
00:18:54,603 --> 00:18:56,203
It's a relief, isn't it?
451
00:18:56,675 --> 00:18:58,305
Yes.
452
00:18:58,853 --> 00:19:00,524
Yes, it is a relief.
453
00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:03,337
Shall we?
454
00:19:03,362 --> 00:19:04,577
Not in your condition.
455
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,319
What condition's that, being
one of the fucking Golden Girls?
456
00:19:08,744 --> 00:19:10,418
Wait up, Blanche.
457
00:19:15,282 --> 00:19:16,986
You still got that battered sausage?
458
00:19:17,011 --> 00:19:18,769
I'll give you a battered sausage.
459
00:19:21,406 --> 00:19:24,647
Oh, you absolute fucking genius.
460
00:19:24,672 --> 00:19:26,413
- Mmm, mmm.
- Hiya, Mum.
461
00:19:27,244 --> 00:19:28,513
Everything all right?
462
00:19:28,538 --> 00:19:30,517
Yeah, yeah. All good.
463
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:32,163
Dad told me about you smoking
464
00:19:32,188 --> 00:19:33,921
and you lying about smoking.
465
00:19:33,946 --> 00:19:36,971
Yeah. I'm really sorry
for lying and smoking.
466
00:19:36,996 --> 00:19:39,734
- I'll stop. Smoking's dumb.
- So dumb.
467
00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:41,094
You've got your breathing exercises
468
00:19:41,118 --> 00:19:42,640
to help with your anxiety,
469
00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:45,403
your mindfulness tips,
your one-to-ten scale.
470
00:19:45,428 --> 00:19:47,899
Nicotine is a stimulant.
It doesn't calm you down.
471
00:19:47,924 --> 00:19:49,624
Yeah, everyone experiments, Luke,
472
00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:51,453
but, you know, don't go any further.
473
00:19:51,478 --> 00:19:52,880
I'm addicted. I can't give up.
474
00:19:52,905 --> 00:19:54,719
Although I can just enjoy
the odd one now and again.
475
00:19:54,743 --> 00:19:57,093
- That's really bad advice.
- Yeah, sorry.
476
00:19:57,468 --> 00:19:58,771
Do you want some tea?
477
00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:00,282
- Yeah, please.
- Yeah, all right. Thanks.
478
00:20:00,306 --> 00:20:01,679
Thanks, man.
479
00:20:05,319 --> 00:20:07,859
- What are we gonna do with him?
- Mm.
480
00:20:09,244 --> 00:20:12,328
So our fictional baby,
481
00:20:12,353 --> 00:20:15,326
would she or he have been a mix
482
00:20:15,351 --> 00:20:19,015
of Luke and Ava, do you think,
or someone totally new?
483
00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:22,234
New but with bits of them, probably.
484
00:20:22,546 --> 00:20:25,301
And maybe different bits of us,
better bits.
485
00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:26,496
Yeah.
486
00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:30,601
It's... it's a relief, innit,
487
00:20:30,626 --> 00:20:34,434
not having to deal with
all the new-baby madness?
488
00:20:34,562 --> 00:20:37,154
Yeah. It's sad too.
489
00:20:37,179 --> 00:20:38,620
Oh, yeah.
490
00:20:38,645 --> 00:20:40,187
It is sad.
491
00:20:40,724 --> 00:20:42,515
I'm sad about it.
492
00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:44,843
I am sad about it.
493
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,619
If you were a pendulum...
494
00:20:50,644 --> 00:20:52,058
Fuck off.
495
00:20:53,324 --> 00:20:56,324
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