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1
00:00:02,839 --> 00:00:04,843
♪ ♪
2
00:00:07,516 --> 00:00:10,020
Ooh�hoo!
Eat kilowatts, you dumb bug.
3
00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:11,857
Yes. Take that, you bloodsucker.
4
00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:14,228
�Here you go, milady.
�Aww.
5
00:00:14,295 --> 00:00:15,565
Thank you, Wayne.
6
00:00:15,632 --> 00:00:18,136
Don't you guys have
an anniversary coming up?
7
00:00:18,203 --> 00:00:19,706
Yep. Ten years.
8
00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:21,644
Lord, has it been ten years?
9
00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:24,883
Well, that makes sense 'cause
y'all do look a lot older.
10
00:00:24,950 --> 00:00:26,854
Good news is,
I haven't changed a bit.
11
00:00:26,921 --> 00:00:28,925
That's a whole decade. Wow.
12
00:00:28,991 --> 00:00:30,460
What are you guys
gonna do to celebrate?
13
00:00:30,528 --> 00:00:32,231
Well, you know,
we're both working so much...
14
00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:35,070
Yeah, probably just go
to the Great Sydney Steakhouse.
15
00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:37,341
Come home. Ooh.
Watch a crime show, maybe?
16
00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:38,711
WAYNE:
That sounds fun.
17
00:00:38,778 --> 00:00:40,213
Be in bed by 9:00. Wow.
18
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,786
We really used to do it up
on our anniversary, huh?
19
00:00:42,852 --> 00:00:46,125
Now we're just watching bugs
kamikaze to their deaths.
20
00:00:46,192 --> 00:00:47,494
So, you slowed down.
21
00:00:47,562 --> 00:00:48,998
It's a natural part
of the human condition.
22
00:00:49,065 --> 00:00:50,902
Just sliding slowly
into oblivion,
23
00:00:50,969 --> 00:00:53,841
counting the days until
you buy a walk�in bathtub,
24
00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:56,312
all the while wondering
where the fun went.
25
00:00:56,379 --> 00:00:57,616
These bugs have it figured out.
26
00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,553
They live a week
and die in their prime.
27
00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:02,291
You made the right choice, bug.
28
00:01:03,995 --> 00:01:06,232
♪ ♪
29
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,498
Dang, a top�of�the�line
Wet Heaven Pro�Snorkel
30
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,436
Water�Based Relaxation System.
31
00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:43,607
(chuckles) I got to say,
I'm a little jealous.
32
00:01:43,674 --> 00:01:45,878
Hey, how close are you boys
to being done?
33
00:01:45,945 --> 00:01:49,886
Daddy needs his soak,
or Daddy gets cranky.
34
00:01:50,788 --> 00:01:51,757
N�No, I'm sorry.
35
00:01:51,824 --> 00:01:54,228
I�I was talking
about my actual dad.
36
00:01:54,295 --> 00:01:55,865
He's very unpleasant.
37
00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:59,606
Well, we're almost done here.
This thing's a real beauty.
38
00:01:59,673 --> 00:02:01,075
Something wrong with this one?
39
00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:03,213
Ah, no. She still purrs
like a kitten.
40
00:02:03,279 --> 00:02:05,217
But when you're living
the Jacuzzi lifestyle,
41
00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:08,123
you got to stay current,
got to keep the party fresh.
42
00:02:08,189 --> 00:02:10,093
Yeah, I could use
a little party in my life.
43
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,897
We'll probably never have
a Jacuzzi, though.
44
00:02:11,964 --> 00:02:15,170
(chuckles) I see the way
you're looking at my old girl.
45
00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:18,276
How about you take her
off my hands? No charge.
46
00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,517
Are you kidding me?
I can't even begin to thank you.
47
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:23,554
This can be Jenny's
anniversary gift.
48
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,758
We've been told
we're sliding into oblivion.
49
00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:26,994
Yeah, I was like you once.
50
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:30,333
Feeling boxed in by the stifling
cubicle some call life.
51
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,072
Wondering if there could
be a better way, a chiller way.
52
00:02:33,139 --> 00:02:35,443
Getting this 'cuzz
changed everything.
53
00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:37,582
Let me ask you something, Wayne.
54
00:02:37,649 --> 00:02:40,487
�How old do you think I am?
�I don't know, 50?
55
00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:42,926
Wayne, I have no idea
how old I am.
56
00:02:42,992 --> 00:02:44,228
First I lost my watch,
57
00:02:44,295 --> 00:02:45,330
then I lost my calendar.
58
00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:46,633
I'm on island time now.
59
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,606
For all I know,
I'm 15,000 years old.
60
00:02:49,673 --> 00:02:50,407
Whoa.
61
00:02:50,473 --> 00:02:51,643
But I got to warn you��
62
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,781
the 'cuzz life
is not for everyone.
63
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:56,152
Once your twig and berries
hit that 104�degree water,
64
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:59,693
well, you're committing
to a vacation that never stops.
65
00:02:59,759 --> 00:03:01,730
Is that a threat?
'Cause that sounds like
66
00:03:01,797 --> 00:03:03,366
the greatest threat
in the world.
67
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,237
Daddy needs his soak!
68
00:03:05,303 --> 00:03:06,807
Oh, Daddy...
69
00:03:07,508 --> 00:03:09,211
Surprise anniversary present?
70
00:03:09,278 --> 00:03:11,082
WAYNE:
Ta�da!
71
00:03:11,148 --> 00:03:13,086
Wayne, oh, my Lord.
72
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:13,888
A hot tub?!
73
00:03:13,954 --> 00:03:15,758
How's that for fun
and spontaneous?
74
00:03:15,825 --> 00:03:18,564
Or should I say
"spont�Wayne�eous"?
75
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,568
(chuckles)
I just thought of that.
76
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,637
Did ya?
77
00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:23,339
Well, I�I thought of it
very recently.
78
00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:25,443
It wasn't just... right now.
79
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:27,314
(yelps)
I love this hot tub!
80
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,517
And I love you.
81
00:03:29,151 --> 00:03:33,594
Ooh, look at that Martina
McBride boho peasant blouse.
82
00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:35,030
40% off.
83
00:03:35,096 --> 00:03:38,069
I'm about to put you 100% on.
84
00:03:38,671 --> 00:03:40,574
Oh, hell no.
If it's on the flier,
85
00:03:40,641 --> 00:03:42,244
it better be on the floor.
86
00:03:42,311 --> 00:03:45,350
I need to speak
with the manager. Julian!
87
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:46,887
(groans)
88
00:03:46,954 --> 00:03:48,691
God, I'd rather drown myself
in a toilet.
89
00:03:48,757 --> 00:03:50,728
Good morning, Betty!
How can I help you?
90
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,565
I was told
there would be ample stock
91
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,101
of the Martina McBride
peasant blouse,
92
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,573
and yet there are none
to be found.
93
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,711
That's a bait and switch,
which is a felony.
94
00:03:58,777 --> 00:04:00,848
Ms. Hart, I am not a sorcerer.
95
00:04:00,915 --> 00:04:03,386
I cannot simply make
Martina McBride blouses
96
00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:05,457
appear out of thin air.
97
00:04:05,524 --> 00:04:07,127
You should've gotten here
earlier.
98
00:04:07,194 --> 00:04:08,396
Oh, BS, Julian.
99
00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:11,068
I know there's a secret stash
of the good stuff in the back.
100
00:04:11,135 --> 00:04:13,373
�Ma'am, we do not...
�Don't you "ma'am" me, Julian.
101
00:04:13,439 --> 00:04:16,212
�Well, I will ma'am you, ma'am.
�I know you know my name. You just said it.
102
00:04:16,278 --> 00:04:18,349
�Yes, I do know your name,
ma'am. Ma'am. �I eagerly await the day
103
00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:20,654
�you get replaced
by a self�scanner machine. �That won't happen, ma'am.
104
00:04:20,721 --> 00:04:23,292
Ms. Hart! I will not have you
coming in here
105
00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:25,430
and insulting me
on a weekly basis anymore.
106
00:04:25,497 --> 00:04:29,071
I am hereby permanently
banning you from Krull's.
107
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,306
(all gasping)
108
00:04:30,373 --> 00:04:32,277
No!
(grunts)
109
00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:34,348
Lady, do not rag�doll us.
110
00:04:34,415 --> 00:04:35,584
(grunting)
111
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,089
Do not Jean�Claude Van Damme us,
either.
112
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:40,828
�Oof.
�(tires screech)
113
00:04:40,895 --> 00:04:43,867
♪ ♪
114
00:04:48,342 --> 00:04:49,813
Mmm.
115
00:04:49,879 --> 00:04:52,417
These jets really know
a waitress' bod.
116
00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:54,154
I am in heaven.
117
00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:57,327
Hot tub party!
118
00:04:57,394 --> 00:04:59,532
Doug! Peter!
I hope you don't mind.
119
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:00,968
They helped me put it in,
so I told 'em
120
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:02,170
they can stop by anytime.
121
00:05:02,237 --> 00:05:04,441
We brought
some gettin' loose juice!
122
00:05:04,509 --> 00:05:07,047
And a hat
for the 'cuzz ship captain.
123
00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:08,382
This is so cool.
124
00:05:08,449 --> 00:05:09,719
I'm a hot tub captain.
125
00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:12,324
I can legally marry anyone
in this tub.
126
00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:13,594
Marry me and Doug.
127
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,798
'Cause I want his lizards
when he dies.
128
00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:17,033
JENNY:
Hold on.
129
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,937
Wayne.
130
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:20,808
Jenny...
131
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:22,979
♪ ♪
132
00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:27,655
I love it.
I love everything about it!
133
00:05:27,722 --> 00:05:29,424
I love the jets.
I love the moist heat.
134
00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:30,528
I love the party atmosphere.
135
00:05:30,594 --> 00:05:31,630
I love your tiny shorts.
136
00:05:31,696 --> 00:05:33,499
I love how open my sinuses are.
137
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,071
And I especially love
that sexy�ass captain's hat.
138
00:05:36,138 --> 00:05:38,376
(chuckles) There isn't a woman
alive who can resist a man
139
00:05:38,442 --> 00:05:39,512
in a captain's hat.
140
00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:40,581
You idiots rock!
141
00:05:40,648 --> 00:05:42,384
Take that, our former selves.
142
00:05:42,450 --> 00:05:43,921
We're never getting old!
143
00:05:43,987 --> 00:05:45,089
(coughing)
144
00:05:45,156 --> 00:05:46,893
Of all the days to get banned,
145
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,464
why did it have to be right
before the Founders Day sale?
146
00:05:49,532 --> 00:05:51,970
There's just no way
to sneak in there undetected.
147
00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:53,674
Y'all, I might have
to make a scene
148
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:55,611
�in my own home.
�(scraping)
149
00:05:55,678 --> 00:05:58,449
Shh. All we need to do
is disguise you.
150
00:05:58,517 --> 00:06:01,455
No. You can't hide this light
under a bushel.
151
00:06:01,523 --> 00:06:03,125
This is a powerful light.
152
00:06:03,192 --> 00:06:04,596
You're in good hands, Gram.
153
00:06:04,662 --> 00:06:06,332
David has a thing for costumes.
154
00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:08,469
Let's just say my closet
makes RuPaul's closet
155
00:06:08,537 --> 00:06:10,240
look like Tim Allen's closet.
156
00:06:10,306 --> 00:06:11,543
Let's get to work.
157
00:06:12,778 --> 00:06:14,849
(whooping)
158
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,185
Chicken fight!
159
00:06:16,252 --> 00:06:17,989
(cheering)
160
00:06:18,991 --> 00:06:20,861
�Yeah!
�(chattering)
161
00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:24,201
Whirlpool!
162
00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:25,403
�Whirlpool!
�(gasping)
163
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,207
(gurgling)
164
00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:28,142
I am Jenny Hart,
165
00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:30,848
and this is hot tub waterski!
166
00:06:31,482 --> 00:06:33,219
(gasping)
167
00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:36,559
�(whoops) We're back, baby.
�(cheering)
168
00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:39,031
WAYNE:
Yes, we are, baby!
169
00:06:39,097 --> 00:06:42,905
We need to build a new character
from the ground up.
170
00:06:42,972 --> 00:06:45,844
♪ ♪
171
00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:53,459
She's perfect.
172
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:54,996
Mm, not yet, she's not.
173
00:06:55,063 --> 00:06:57,434
The transformation
can't just be on the outside.
174
00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:00,039
You need to become
this new character.
175
00:07:00,106 --> 00:07:01,308
Ooh, let's role�play.
176
00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:02,678
You're in Krull's
177
00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:04,682
and the salesman says,
"Excuse me, ma'am.
178
00:07:04,749 --> 00:07:06,418
I'm afraid
your coupon is expired."
179
00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:09,124
I'd say, "Your life
is about to be expired."
180
00:07:09,191 --> 00:07:12,297
Then, after high�fiving myself,
I find a beer bottle,
181
00:07:12,364 --> 00:07:14,334
�break it on the counter...
�Uh, Gram?
182
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:15,370
(sighs)
183
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,706
"Oh, heavens.
184
00:07:16,773 --> 00:07:18,342
"I couldn't read the date.
185
00:07:18,409 --> 00:07:20,514
My eyes just aren't what
they used to be."
186
00:07:20,981 --> 00:07:23,419
Then, once I got
his defenses down,
187
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,724
I give him the old
eyes, throat, crotch.
188
00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:27,193
Then I look for a beer bottle,
189
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,597
�break it over...
�Gram.
190
00:07:28,663 --> 00:07:31,569
So I just say a bunch
of nice bullcrap, and that's it?
191
00:07:31,636 --> 00:07:33,940
Do you want to get back
into Krull's or not?
192
00:07:35,577 --> 00:07:36,513
Let's try it again.
193
00:07:36,579 --> 00:07:39,284
Your coupon is denied.
194
00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:40,453
(inhales)
195
00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:42,023
(exhales)
196
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:45,096
Well, that's quite all right,
you sweet young man.
197
00:07:45,163 --> 00:07:49,037
I'm happy to pay full price
if those are the rules.
198
00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:51,008
Betty Jean Hart,
199
00:07:51,074 --> 00:07:53,112
that was perfect.
200
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:55,416
Betty Hart, who's that?
201
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:56,619
My name...
202
00:07:56,686 --> 00:07:58,957
is Rhonda Witherspoon.
203
00:07:59,024 --> 00:07:59,759
She's ready.
204
00:07:59,826 --> 00:08:01,261
She's more than ready.
205
00:08:01,328 --> 00:08:02,932
She's Rhonda.
206
00:08:02,998 --> 00:08:05,871
�(indistinct chatter)
�(upbeat Latin music playing)
207
00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:10,046
(barking)
208
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,893
Jenny, doesn't it feel good
to let loose again?
209
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,095
Oh, my God, yes.
210
00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:19,464
Now, what do you say
211
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:22,203
we take this party back
to my room, Captain?
212
00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:23,472
�Oh, yeah.
�(slurps)
213
00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:26,513
Uh, requesting permission
to sexually dock.
214
00:08:26,579 --> 00:08:28,015
Permission granted.
215
00:08:28,082 --> 00:08:31,188
I'm gonna escort the captain
back to his quarters and...
216
00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:33,058
see if I can raise his anchor.
217
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,795
Oh, no, wait,
that doesn't sound right.
218
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:38,503
I'm gonna put my hands around
that big steering wheel and��
219
00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:41,943
No, wait.
I want to swab your poop deck.
220
00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:43,947
Nope. I am not good at these.
(laughs)
221
00:08:44,014 --> 00:08:46,318
I just want you
to come to bed with me.
222
00:08:46,385 --> 00:08:48,489
�I'm drunk, y'all!
�(whooping)
223
00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:50,092
(cheering)
224
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,973
(indistinct chatter)
225
00:09:02,483 --> 00:09:04,722
(snoring)
226
00:09:08,195 --> 00:09:11,234
...so the guy at the Hot Tub
Supply Store says,
227
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,805
"Here's your chlorine."
228
00:09:12,871 --> 00:09:15,510
And I say,
"Have you met my friends?
229
00:09:15,577 --> 00:09:16,546
You better double it."
230
00:09:16,613 --> 00:09:17,548
(laughter)
231
00:09:17,615 --> 00:09:19,852
(air horn sound effects)
232
00:09:19,919 --> 00:09:22,791
�(dance music playing)
�(cheering)
233
00:09:22,858 --> 00:09:24,562
Wayne, the party's still going?
234
00:09:24,629 --> 00:09:25,764
What happened last night?
235
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,668
I did all those sexy
boat euphemisms,
236
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,204
and then you never came to bed.
237
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:30,574
Well, let me think.
238
00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:31,976
I had the captain's hat,
239
00:09:32,043 --> 00:09:33,613
and then Meemaw lost
her belly button ring,
240
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,051
so we had to turn off the jets
to find that.
241
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,455
And then there was
a conga line...
242
00:09:38,523 --> 00:09:40,493
and then I couldn't find
my captain's hat
243
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,332
and then I looked over and
Doug had on my captain's hat...
244
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:44,935
Wayne, forget the captain's hat.
245
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,140
We can't handle a hot tub.
246
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:48,710
Oh, we can handle it.
247
00:09:48,777 --> 00:09:50,179
It's giving us our spark back.
248
00:09:50,246 --> 00:09:51,949
(scoffs) But there's no time
for our spark
249
00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:53,352
with all these people around.
250
00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:55,724
We got people here I don't
even know walking around.
251
00:09:55,791 --> 00:09:57,561
Like, who is that lady?
252
00:09:57,628 --> 00:09:58,596
WAYNE:
No idea.
253
00:09:58,663 --> 00:10:00,032
Ugh, I know it's our anniversary
254
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,769
and I can't believe
I'm saying this, but...
255
00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:03,973
I just want a boring dinner
with you all to myself.
256
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,777
Can we do that?
You and me?
257
00:10:05,844 --> 00:10:07,180
Huge steak,
way too much bread.
258
00:10:07,246 --> 00:10:09,785
I'll even make the reservation.
How's 7:30?
259
00:10:09,852 --> 00:10:10,921
Aye aye, Captain.
260
00:10:10,987 --> 00:10:12,958
Okay, well, I got to go to work.
261
00:10:13,025 --> 00:10:14,962
Just try to hydrate today, okay?
262
00:10:15,029 --> 00:10:16,264
Wait, who are all these people?
263
00:10:16,331 --> 00:10:18,870
Oh, yeah, I met these guys
at the quarry.
264
00:10:18,937 --> 00:10:22,243
Hey, Captain, you got any
old bread bags laying around?
265
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,915
We can't get
our ankle monitors wet.
266
00:10:24,982 --> 00:10:28,155
Yeah, I see what you mean.
267
00:10:29,157 --> 00:10:30,794
Look out, Krull's.
268
00:10:30,861 --> 00:10:33,867
Here comes Rhonda Witherspoon.
269
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,004
David, no.
270
00:10:36,071 --> 00:10:38,877
This little bird needs to fly
on her own.
271
00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:44,588
CHERISH:
Don't try to weasel out of this, Julian.
272
00:10:44,655 --> 00:10:46,358
A flier is a contract.
273
00:10:46,424 --> 00:10:49,430
Ma'am, only children's clothes
are half off today.
274
00:10:49,497 --> 00:10:52,604
Now, I don't have my glasses on,
but as far as I can tell,
275
00:10:52,671 --> 00:10:54,340
those are clearly
full�grown men.
276
00:10:54,407 --> 00:10:56,111
Who are my children.
277
00:10:56,178 --> 00:10:58,783
So by definition,
their clothes should be on sale!
278
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:01,054
(grunting)
279
00:11:01,121 --> 00:11:03,560
My stars!
Now, we all know that "children"
280
00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:08,503
is referring to an age and not
a relationship to the mother.
281
00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:12,210
Honey, do not transfer the pain
that is going on in your life
282
00:11:12,276 --> 00:11:16,886
to this angel of a man,
who is clearly doing his best.
283
00:11:16,953 --> 00:11:19,625
�Ugh.
�(grunting)
284
00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:24,067
Well, aren't you
an absolute breath of fresh air?
285
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:27,741
I'm Julian.
You look very familiar.
286
00:11:27,808 --> 00:11:30,446
Have we crossed paths before?
287
00:11:31,281 --> 00:11:35,022
Well, I don't see how.
The name's Rhonda Witherspoon.
288
00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:37,594
Just moved here
from Nashville, Music City.
289
00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:41,034
Well, welcome to Greenpoint.
What can I help you with today?
290
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:44,374
I'm attending
a Save the Earth fundraiser,
291
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,111
and I was hoping to wear...
292
00:11:46,177 --> 00:11:49,317
The... Martina McBride
boho peasant blouse?
293
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:52,958
�How did you know?
�It's my job to know.
294
00:11:53,025 --> 00:11:55,062
I have one in the back.
Follow me.
295
00:11:55,129 --> 00:11:57,801
Oh, bless your sweet heart!
296
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:59,404
(quietly):
Freakin' knew it.
297
00:12:02,644 --> 00:12:05,583
Looks like a dingo ate
your boyfriend.
298
00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:07,921
�What?
�It's just a joke I do
299
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,324
when people are being stood up.
300
00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:11,929
�Lightens the mood.
�I'm not being stood up.
301
00:12:11,996 --> 00:12:14,635
Can I get you
a Blossoming Onion?
302
00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:15,537
Single portion, hon?
303
00:12:15,603 --> 00:12:18,141
No, I will take
two Blossoming Onions,
304
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:20,212
because my boyfriend
definitely will be here.
305
00:12:20,279 --> 00:12:23,218
Fair dinkam, y'all.
I mean "mite."
306
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,491
Please don't tell my manager
I broke character.
307
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,261
(sighs)
308
00:12:30,065 --> 00:12:32,838
♪ ♪
309
00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:42,356
(echoing):First I lost my watch. Then I lost my calendar.
310
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:49,370
I'm on island time now.
311
00:12:51,675 --> 00:12:53,913
♪ ♪
312
00:13:01,829 --> 00:13:03,465
(gasps)
313
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:24,474
Well, it really has been such
a pleasure meeting you, Rhonda.
314
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:27,948
Oh, the pleasure was all mine!
315
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:32,691
Rhonda, would you like to come
to my house for dinner?
316
00:13:32,757 --> 00:13:35,563
Oh, Julian!
317
00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:42,677
♪ ♪
318
00:13:44,948 --> 00:13:47,721
(laughter)
319
00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:50,058
♪ ♪
320
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,265
Well, I guess I should be going.
321
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,469
It's getting so late.
Isn't it, you little angel?
322
00:13:55,537 --> 00:13:59,243
She is just a little angel,
yes, she is!
323
00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:01,582
Okay, let's get you to bed.
324
00:14:01,649 --> 00:14:03,519
So nice to meet you, Rhonda.
325
00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:05,590
The pleasure was all mine.
326
00:14:05,657 --> 00:14:07,994
Okay, well, I guess I'm off.
327
00:14:08,061 --> 00:14:09,163
Rhonda, Rhonda, listen.
328
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,301
Can I tell you something?
329
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:14,073
Ever since I met you,
you've shown me
330
00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:16,545
that it is not a weakness
to be kind.
331
00:14:16,612 --> 00:14:20,620
�Oh. No, Julian, don't...
�No, no, no. Let me finish.
332
00:14:20,687 --> 00:14:22,691
Would you like to come with me
333
00:14:22,757 --> 00:14:26,397
to the special Krull's friends
and family event tomorrow?
334
00:14:26,464 --> 00:14:29,671
It's a secret sale.
Not open to the public.
335
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,343
Usually everybody takes
their mom or aunt or something,
336
00:14:32,409 --> 00:14:35,917
but I've never had anyone
I felt I could bring before.
337
00:14:35,984 --> 00:14:37,286
Until now.
338
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:39,023
I don't know what to say,
Julian.
339
00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:40,927
Well, just say yes.
340
00:14:40,994 --> 00:14:42,664
BETTY:
Yes!
341
00:14:47,874 --> 00:14:50,345
�WAITRESS: Hey! Wayne's here!
�He made it!
342
00:14:50,412 --> 00:14:53,619
A red Wayne
and a white Wayne spritzah!
343
00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:57,661
You know what?
Your accent is stupid!
344
00:15:01,702 --> 00:15:04,073
♪ Well, I'm a hot tub daddy ♪
345
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:06,311
♪ Have you heard the news? ♪
346
00:15:06,377 --> 00:15:08,649
♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪
347
00:15:08,716 --> 00:15:10,987
♪ The king of the 'cuzz ♪
348
00:15:11,622 --> 00:15:13,191
Thanks, number hula girls!
349
00:15:13,258 --> 00:15:14,393
Take it away, snakeheads!
350
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:17,066
♪ Well, he's a hot tub daddy ♪
351
00:15:17,132 --> 00:15:19,671
♪ Have you heard the news? ♪
352
00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:21,875
♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪
353
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:24,046
♪ King of the cu... ♪
Uh�oh.
354
00:15:24,113 --> 00:15:25,850
♪ I'm a hot tub... ♪
355
00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:27,353
Oh, no.
356
00:15:27,419 --> 00:15:29,123
Oh, God, Jenny!
357
00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:31,962
I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot.
358
00:15:32,029 --> 00:15:34,200
I lost track of time.
359
00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:37,674
Oh, you going to the tiki bar?
360
00:15:37,741 --> 00:15:39,377
Yeah, have a drink. That's fun.
361
00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:42,316
Oh, just gonna just chug it
straight from the bottle?
362
00:15:42,383 --> 00:15:43,552
Okay.
363
00:15:43,619 --> 00:15:45,122
Oh. Gonna join us?
364
00:15:45,188 --> 00:15:46,925
(chuckles)
Good sign.
365
00:15:47,594 --> 00:15:51,502
Oh. Getting in the tub
with all your clothes on.
366
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:54,440
Doing a fun squat?
367
00:15:56,144 --> 00:15:58,148
Oh, Lord, she's peeing.
368
00:15:58,214 --> 00:15:59,618
�Everybody out.
�(screaming)
369
00:15:59,684 --> 00:16:02,757
I'm actually fine with this.
370
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,502
�(whimpering)
�Come on, Jenny.
371
00:16:08,569 --> 00:16:10,606
I'm so sorry. So crazy.
372
00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:13,344
I don't know what happened
to me, but I am so sorry.
373
00:16:13,411 --> 00:16:15,182
Please,
let me make it up to you.
374
00:16:15,248 --> 00:16:16,585
I know I messed up,
375
00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:19,123
but who pees in a hot tub
full of people? Come on.
376
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:22,997
Well, you peed
on our relationship.
377
00:16:23,064 --> 00:16:25,903
You don't think
that's a little fancy
378
00:16:25,970 --> 00:16:27,974
for a sale
at a chain retail store?
379
00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:30,078
Oh, this isn't just a sale.
380
00:16:30,145 --> 00:16:33,284
It's the friends
and family event.
381
00:16:33,351 --> 00:16:35,355
I just have to look perfect,
382
00:16:35,422 --> 00:16:37,627
'cause it's gonna be
a real fancy to�do.
383
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:39,598
Cheeses you never heard of.
384
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:41,502
Kobe beef sliders.
385
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:45,075
I'm thinking a multitiered
champagne fountain.
386
00:16:45,141 --> 00:16:46,712
I highly doubt Krull's
387
00:16:46,778 --> 00:16:49,918
would have a multitiered
champagne fountain.
388
00:16:49,985 --> 00:16:51,287
♪ ♪
389
00:16:51,354 --> 00:16:53,491
(indistinct chatter)
390
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:07,419
(laughs)
391
00:17:13,131 --> 00:17:15,035
(gasps)
Rhonda!
392
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:17,439
You look absolutely stunning.
393
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:20,613
Everybody,
please give a warm welcome
394
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,917
to my dear, dear friend,
395
00:17:22,984 --> 00:17:24,386
Rhonda Witherspoon.
396
00:17:24,453 --> 00:17:28,294
�Yes, he's...
�Now, without further ado,
397
00:17:28,361 --> 00:17:29,531
I present to you...
398
00:17:29,598 --> 00:17:32,804
all of the sizes
we said we were out of!
399
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:35,075
Welcome to all the designer names
400
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,945
you could ever dream of:
401
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,047
Joanna Gaines,
402
00:17:38,114 --> 00:17:39,350
Bethenny Frankel,
403
00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:41,688
leather shoulderless blouses
by Bonnie Raitt,
404
00:17:41,755 --> 00:17:43,491
scarves by Johnny Galecki.
405
00:17:43,559 --> 00:17:45,328
BETTY:
What's this I'm feeling?
406
00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:47,099
It's not guilt, is it?
407
00:17:47,165 --> 00:17:48,368
No, it's... it's got to be
408
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,372
all those crab�stuffed mushrooms
I ate.
409
00:17:50,438 --> 00:17:52,744
No. It's guilt.
Damn you, Julian!
410
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,248
Why'd you have to show me
your cute�ass family?
411
00:17:55,315 --> 00:17:57,754
Don't forget
what a turd he was to Betty.
412
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,123
But Betty was a turd, too.
413
00:17:59,189 --> 00:18:01,394
Oh, would you just get
out of my head, Rhonda!
414
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:03,398
�Rhonda, I have
a little surprise for you. �(applause)
415
00:18:03,464 --> 00:18:06,672
Oh, I don't deserve
a surprise, do I?
416
00:18:08,107 --> 00:18:12,249
The Martina McBride
boho skirt that matches
417
00:18:12,315 --> 00:18:13,418
the peasant blouse?!
(gasps)
418
00:18:13,484 --> 00:18:16,057
I thought
they were discontinued.
419
00:18:16,123 --> 00:18:18,361
(chuckles):
Well, not for you, they're not.
420
00:18:18,428 --> 00:18:20,633
Oh, uh, I don't know.
421
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,304
What is wrong with you?
Try it on.
422
00:18:23,371 --> 00:18:25,208
�Maybe I should just go.
�What?
423
00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:26,545
Don't be ridiculous.
424
00:18:26,611 --> 00:18:28,181
Uh, um...
425
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:31,788
(screams)
426
00:18:33,726 --> 00:18:35,462
JULIAN:
Betty Hart?
427
00:18:35,529 --> 00:18:37,734
I'm sorry, Julian.
(sobbing)
428
00:18:48,956 --> 00:18:50,291
(sighs)
429
00:18:50,358 --> 00:18:52,028
So, you finally discovered
430
00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:53,999
the dark side
of the bubbly oasis.
431
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,170
�What?
�As soon as you got the tub,
432
00:18:56,237 --> 00:18:58,474
the crowds starting coming.
Cheering you on?
433
00:18:58,542 --> 00:19:00,378
Making you feel
like the king of the party?
434
00:19:00,445 --> 00:19:03,351
Yep. I was trying
to recapture my youth
435
00:19:03,417 --> 00:19:05,388
and ride that wave forever.
436
00:19:05,455 --> 00:19:08,427
Son, hot tub friendships are
flightier than a flock of gulls
437
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:09,998
looking for a bread crumb
on a boardwalk.
438
00:19:10,064 --> 00:19:12,703
If you're not careful, you'll
lose it all chasing that high.
439
00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:14,574
And soon you'll be
an empty shell of a man
440
00:19:14,641 --> 00:19:17,345
with no real friends, three
ex�wives that hate your guts
441
00:19:17,412 --> 00:19:19,651
and a mean dad
who lives in your attic.
442
00:19:19,717 --> 00:19:22,489
Well, those details
seem awfully specific to you,
443
00:19:22,557 --> 00:19:24,059
but I get what you're saying.
444
00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:25,061
Well, it's too late
445
00:19:25,128 --> 00:19:27,098
for me now,
but there's still time for you.
446
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,671
Stay steamy, friend.
447
00:19:30,806 --> 00:19:33,144
You're probably
not gonna eat that, right?
448
00:19:33,211 --> 00:19:35,616
No. Go ahead.
449
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:46,070
Betty Hart.
About to rub it in my face
450
00:19:46,136 --> 00:19:48,307
how you made me look
like a fool.
451
00:19:48,374 --> 00:19:50,546
No. I came to say I'm sorry.
452
00:19:50,613 --> 00:19:52,415
When I started this,
I was doing it
453
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:54,052
to get back at you
for banning me.
454
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,490
But being Rhonda Witherspoon
with you
455
00:19:56,558 --> 00:20:00,231
has made me a better woman.
456
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:02,335
I started out
wanting to trick you,
457
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,339
but you ended up tricking me
458
00:20:04,406 --> 00:20:06,443
into being a better person
459
00:20:06,511 --> 00:20:09,884
and a good friend.
460
00:20:14,961 --> 00:20:16,898
Well, what are you waiting for?
461
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,069
Really? I'm unbanned?
462
00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:21,741
Only after I see you
in that outfit.
463
00:20:21,808 --> 00:20:22,843
Which one?
464
00:20:22,910 --> 00:20:25,481
The Martina McBride,
you knickknack.
465
00:20:25,549 --> 00:20:27,319
Oh, it was way too big.
466
00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:28,722
What? No.
467
00:20:28,789 --> 00:20:30,693
BETTY:
I swear. It swallowed me whole.
468
00:20:30,759 --> 00:20:33,164
(both laugh)
469
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:34,066
(engine starts)
470
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:36,203
�You sold it?
�I had to.
471
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:37,372
I'm sorry, Wayne.
472
00:20:37,439 --> 00:20:38,742
Me, too. But I didn't like
473
00:20:38,809 --> 00:20:40,445
what that hot tub
turned me into.
474
00:20:40,512 --> 00:20:41,815
But it just felt so good
475
00:20:41,881 --> 00:20:43,852
having so many people
want to be around me.
476
00:20:43,919 --> 00:20:45,723
But, Wayne,
that wasn't about the tub.
477
00:20:45,789 --> 00:20:47,292
People always want
to be around you,
478
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,329
'cause you're
Wayne freakin' Edwards.
479
00:20:49,396 --> 00:20:52,603
I mean, you are so sweet
and funny and fun, and...
480
00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:54,439
you're still the captain.
481
00:20:54,507 --> 00:20:56,745
Captain of my heart.
482
00:21:01,955 --> 00:21:04,459
�Happy anniversary, Jenny.
�Happy anniversary, Wayne.
483
00:21:04,527 --> 00:21:06,531
Hey, who ended up
taking our tub?
484
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,735
Yeah, I donated it
to a senior center.
485
00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:11,173
Aw. So sweet.
486
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,879
�(whooping)
�(indistinct chatter)
487
00:21:13,945 --> 00:21:15,883
MAN:
Hallelujah.
488
00:21:15,949 --> 00:21:17,553
Nancy, put your top on.
489
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,557
Nancy, put your bottoms on.
490
00:21:19,624 --> 00:21:21,260
Wait a minute.
(sniffs)
491
00:21:21,326 --> 00:21:22,630
Do I smell marijuana?
492
00:21:22,696 --> 00:21:25,034
Jesse! Where did you two
get that tequila?
493
00:21:25,101 --> 00:21:26,805
Get that blender out of the tub.
494
00:21:26,871 --> 00:21:28,608
Uh�oh,
Monty's having a heart attack.
495
00:21:28,675 --> 00:21:30,746
Get that blender
back in the tub!
496
00:21:30,813 --> 00:21:32,750
�(meows)
�(horn honks musically)
497
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:37,350
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