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1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,089
(SOULFUL R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,629
(BED SQUEAKING)
3
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,853
ls he asleep yet?
4
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,605
Yeah, I'll go
put him to bed.
5
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,066
(SIGHS)
6
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:11,028
R. Kelly always
does the trick.
7
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,158
I think Evan may be
developing a rash.
8
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,493
You know, when you rub
the Aquaphor on his tush,
9
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,078
you can't just
put it on his cheeks,
10
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,247
you have to rub it
all over the anus, too.
11
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,332
All over the anus,
got it.
12
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,044
I think I'm going
to take a bath, okay?
13
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,881
Okay, babe.
Go for it.
14
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,633
(WATER RUNNING)
15
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,532
Not this time.
16
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,370
Okay,
come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on. Okay.
17
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,539
(VOCALIZING SOFTLY)
18
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,708
Yep.
19
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,796
WOMAN:
Oh, yeah, you like it
nasty, don't you?
20
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,383
Oh, I do. I do, I'm sorry.
Guilty as charged. (CHUCKLES)
21
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,594
God, you're so big,
it hurts.
22
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,596
I know,
I can't help it.
23
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,931
Oh, yeah!
24
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,224
Give it to me, daddy.
Oh, yeah.
25
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,767
Give it to me, daddy.
Give it to me...
Oh, yeah.
26
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,185
EVAN: Daddy?
27
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,022
Evan! What the...
28
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,565
You're opening doors now?
How did...
29
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,859
I saw a monster.
A what?
30
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,736
WOMAN: Stick your
finger in my asshole.
31
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,946
God.
(WOMAN MOANS)
32
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,197
Fuck, yeah!
Fuck, yeah!
33
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,531
Come on, come on, come on.
Fuck, yeah!
34
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,408
I want you to come
all over my...
35
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,577
(IN FALSETTO)
Oh, my God!
36
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,621
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
37
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,416
Evan, don't touch that!
38
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,834
Don't...
39
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,754
Daddy, boo-boo.
40
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,756
What the...
41
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,841
Oh, my God.
42
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,551
Okay, don't move.
Stay here.
43
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,387
Daddy needs
a Band-Aid.
44
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,931
(MICHELLE MOANING)
45
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,434
Michelle?
46
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,437
Do you...
47
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,066
Mommy, Daddy,
are you okay?
48
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,574
(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)
49
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,558
(PHONE RINGING)
50
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,560
Jim Levenstein.
51
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,979
They still haven't gotten
you an assistant yet, huh?
52
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,773
Kev, I'm sorry,
I've been meaning
to call you back.
53
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,608
I've just been...
Busy?
54
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,985
I get it.
55
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,653
Look, I'll make
this quick, okay?
56
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,823
The reunion, you in?
57
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,783
Hold on, is that
really happening?
58
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,327
Yeah, man,
check your Facebook.
59
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,245
Look, I know they
missed the ten-year
by a couple,
60
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,831
but, you know,
seems like people
are actually going.
61
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,167
Hey, hon.
Hey!
62
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,294
Mmm. Dinner
smells great.
63
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,420
Hey, Ellie.
64
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,504
ELLIE: Hey, Jim.
65
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,673
Ooh, Bachelorette
finale later.
66
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,801
And don't forget,
we still have to
watch Real Housewives.
67
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,012
Yeah, how could
I forget?
68
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,139
Hey, Kev, you know who
my favorite housewife is?
69
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,308
You.
70
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,684
Very funny.
71
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,022
Look, I love my wife,
but I need a weekend
with the guys.
72
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,233
Come on,
we'll go a few days early.
No Stifler this time.
73
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,028
Just you, me,
Oz and Finch.
74
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,821
Yeah, well,
good luck with that.
75
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,657
I heard Finch's mom
doesn't even know
where he is.
76
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,909
And what about Oz?
77
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,329
I mean, do you
really think he would come
with all he has going on?
78
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,879
And we're back
here on Sports View,
79
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,382
with my special guest,
Chad Ochocinco.
80
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,177
Chad, which college
football powerhouse
81
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,097
is gonna have the most players
drafted in this year's draft?
82
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,183
I'm gonna have to go
with my alma mater,
the Oregon State.
83
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,561
Come on, man!
What are you
smoking, Ocho?
84
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,480
You think I don't know
what I'm talking about?
85
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,732
Do me a favor,
take a look at the tape.
86
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,068
Hey, babe,
I'm home!
87
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,571
And that wraps it up
for my special guest,
Chad Ochocinco.
88
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,409
This is Chris Ostreicher
reminding you to play on,
(IN FALSETTO) playa!
89
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,045
Hey, Mia?
90
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,505
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
91
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,842
Oh, my gosh!
So funny. (LAUGHING)
92
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,971
Oh, hey, baby!
93
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,597
Hi!
94
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,641
I was just watching
your show a minute ago.
95
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,767
Oh, yeah?
96
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,018
ls everything okay?
97
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,938
You tell me.
You're in the hot tub
with another dude.
98
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,439
You are worried
about Deshaun?
99
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,775
Aw, that is so cute!
100
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,903
Deshaun's
the interior decorator
I told you about.
101
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,530
Hey, Christopher!
102
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,949
Strip down!
Come join us.
103
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,411
Maybe next time,
Deshaun.
104
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,916
I still don't
get why we need
an interior decorator.
105
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,211
Because the place
needs to look perfect
for the lnStyle shoot.
106
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,963
Babe, trust me.
107
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,507
Remember how you didn't wanna
go on Celebrity Dance Off
at first?
108
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,885
Now think of all
the fans you have.
109
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,723
Oh! I almost forgot,
Mario Lopez is having
a Memorial Day party.
110
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,725
I told him we're in.
111
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,562
(CHUCKLES) Actually,
I was thinking about going
112
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,064
to my high school
reunion that weekend.
113
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,943
Well, if you're going,
I'm going, too.
114
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,778
Really?
Yeah.
115
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,946
All right.
116
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,365
Mia, love,
phone call.
It's Rumer.
117
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,284
Oh, shit, let me
talk to her.
118
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,746
What's with you
jacking my style,
bitch?
119
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,624
DESHAUN: Anything I can
get for you, Christopher?
120
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,004
Uh...
121
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,341
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
122
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,315
Morning, co-workers
and cock-jerkers!
123
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,275
Reggie,
give me some love.
124
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,944
Looking good,
Stifler.
125
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,780
Ladies, better be
working hard,
126
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,281
you weren't hired
for your looks.
127
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,033
Actually, you were.
128
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,660
Not you.
(WOMAN SCOFFS)
129
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,955
Seriously?
130
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,084
Bob, what are you
doing here?
131
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,418
Don't you know
they fired your ass?
132
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,586
What?
(LAUGHS)
133
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,505
I'm just
fucking with you.
134
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,798
Or am I?
135
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,591
(STUTTERS) Hey!
136
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,720
Coffee for
the pretty lady?
137
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,681
Sure, thanks.
138
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,808
Let me know if you want
some creamer with that.
139
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,142
(GRUNTS)
140
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,900
Hello, you.
How are you?
141
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,112
"Oh, I'm good, Stifmeister,
'cause you know what?
'Cause you're the best."
142
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,489
"Oh, I am the best."
"Yes, you are the..."
143
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,784
"You know, I love you so much
that I'm going to just
have some fun down here.
144
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,244
"Oh, yeah, yeah..."
145
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,663
What the hell
are you doing?
Jesus Christ!
146
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,041
Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy.
It's... I was just...
147
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,167
Huh?
That's good,
it's all clean.
148
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,004
I told you to print out
the morning numbers
and put them on my desk,
149
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,630
and you're making
yourself at home?
150
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,549
No, I just thought...
(MOCKING)
"I just thought..."
151
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,093
I don't pay you to think.
You are a temp.
152
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,430
Yeah, about that.
I feel like I'm being
way underutilized here.
153
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,849
Oh, you do, do you?
154
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,934
Thank you
for telling me
how you feel.
155
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,728
Do you mind if I
tell you how I feel?
156
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,940
I feel the sooner
you realize that
you're the bitch,
157
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,026
not the boss,
158
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,404
(WHISPERING)
the better off
you will be.
159
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,823
(WHISPERS) Fucker.
What was that?
160
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,116
Nothing!
161
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,410
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy.
162
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,245
(LOUDLY) Fucker!
163
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,539
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
164
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,173
You know,
we still haven't
discussed the whole
165
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,550
bathtub incident.
166
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,719
Huh? Oh, that?
That's...
167
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,055
That...
Don't worry about that.
168
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,975
Well, I mean,
you know, obviously,
169
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,686
I would prefer it
if I was the one
170
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,022
that made you
feel that way, but...
171
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,690
I know how you feel.
172
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,861
Every time I want
to shop online and
I start typing "Amazon,"
173
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,532
"amazingcollegesluts.com"
pops up.
174
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,452
Amazing what?
175
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,914
Okay, look,
obviously
176
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,586
we need to have
more fun together.
177
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,546
I promise you,
this weekend,
178
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:54,051
there is going to be
plenty of Jim and
Michelle time, okay?
179
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,976
Hey!
180
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,103
Hello, sweetheart.
181
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,521
How are you?
Oh!
182
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,231
It's so good
to see you.
JIM: Hey, Dad.
183
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,108
Hello, son!
Come here.
184
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,693
Hi! Hi!
185
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,737
LEVENSTEIN: Oh, no!
Look who that is!
186
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,449
Look at this big bruiser!
Oh, my goodness!
187
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,202
He has grown.
LEVENSTEIN:
Look at him! Huh?
188
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,789
Someone's got
a little poopy diaper.
189
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,583
(PUNK MUSIC BLARING)
190
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,345
(CAR HORN HONKING)
191
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,030
Jim?
192
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,537
I can't believe
it's you.
193
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,874
You don't remember me,
do you?
194
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,377
Uh...
Remember Teletubby Tuesdays?
195
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,921
Kara?
196
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,756
Oh, my God.
197
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,428
What? You're not
a kid anymore.
198
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,055
It's been a long time
since I needed
a babysitter.
199
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,101
I can't believe how
much you've grown up.
200
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,311
Thanks!
201
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,396
It's actually
my 18th birthday
tomorrow.
202
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,564
Eighteen, wow.
203
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,232
You should come
to my party.
204
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,317
Oh, uh...
205
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,569
Thank you, no. I...
Yeah, that might be
difficult.
206
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,529
Please, I want you
to come so bad.
207
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,117
Hey, Kara!
We gotta go.
208
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,453
Okay, relax.
209
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,372
That's AJ. Don't ask.
210
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,541
Hopefully I will
see you tomorrow.
211
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,127
What?
AJ: Who the fuck was that?
212
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,880
Hey, sweetie.
213
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,964
Hey.
214
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,216
Who were you
talking to?
215
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,801
That was just
the kid next door.
216
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,849
(SIGHS)
217
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,397
(CHUCKLES)
218
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,784
(INHALES DEEPLY)
219
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,620
Hello, my old friends.
220
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,005
I thought about
throwing them out,
221
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,426
but they just have
too much sentimental value.
222
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,636
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.
223
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,265
Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim.
224
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,354
You know, I can
remember when you were
just a little guy.
225
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,439
And now you've got
your own little guy.
226
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,607
I know.
227
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,402
And before you know it,
he's gonna be a teenager...
228
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,611
Wow.
229
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,115
And you'll be teaching him
about masturbation
230
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,784
and, you know, all the
do's and all the don'ts
231
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,202
that have to do with
the little guy's weenie.
232
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,287
Okay.
Right?
233
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,123
Hopefully,
it'll be more of a bratwurst
by the time he's a teenager...
234
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,416
Okay, Dad, I get it.
...but I'm just...
235
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,001
Well, these are things
you're gonna have to
deal with.
236
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,752
I understand. It's just,
you know, he's two.
237
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,671
Well, yeah,
maybe you've
got time, but...
238
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,716
So, you know, I just,
I'd rather not talk
about his penis.
239
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,926
How you doing, Dad?
I'm good.
240
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,096
Yeah?
What are you doing for fun?
You seen any movies lately?
241
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,891
Well, you know,
your mother and I did
go to a lot of movies.
242
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,644
Well...
243
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,233
You know,
it has been three years
since she passed, Dad.
244
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,570
There's gotta be
someone in town
you can see a movie with.
245
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,032
I have you now.
We'll see a movie
tonight, you and me.
246
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,075
(STUTTERING) Tonight?
247
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,869
Well, I made plans
with the guys,
248
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,662
to meet up with them
tonight at the bar...
Oh.
249
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,913
But...
Yeah, yeah...
250
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,666
But I don't need to do that.
I can do that tomorrow.
251
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,419
No. No, no, no, no.
This is why you're
in town, isn't it?
252
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,838
No, no, no.
You go. I'll be fine.
253
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,132
I was just planning
on staying in tonight
254
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,925
and, you know,
doing a little reading.
255
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,432
Oh, not this.
No. No.
256
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:15,604
Although, I do remember
reading a very
interesting article
257
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,607
on something
Brazilian.
258
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,194
Boy, these pages
are all stuck
together here.
259
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,906
I got it.
260
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,624
Kev.
261
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,584
Hey!
262
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,796
What's up, man?
Jim.
263
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,130
Hey, guys!
264
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,757
Oz.
There he is.
265
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,883
You made it.
266
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,844
Hey, I missed your wedding,
I wasn't gonna miss this.
267
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,638
Hey, buddy.
What's up, pal?
268
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,473
Good to see you.
Yeah, man.
269
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,141
Hey, Kev!
270
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,518
Looking good,
look at you!
271
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,395
Oh, stop it. Come on.
272
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,479
(ALL CHUCKLING)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
273
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,320
(TIRES SCREECHING)
274
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,162
Gentlemen.
275
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,289
Finch?
Finch!
276
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,416
Oh, my God!
lt great to see you, James.
277
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,458
Changed at all, Jim.
278
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,543
Good to see you, pal.
279
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,669
I didn't think you
were gonna make it.
280
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,753
Finch,
how are you, man?
281
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,758
So, after my troubles
in Beijing,
I just moved to Dubai,
282
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,095
and then I got all
caught up in the world
of underground baccarat.
283
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,557
Spent the rest
of '09 living with
this African tribe.
284
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,810
Oh, they made me
an honorary tribesman.
285
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,936
Oh.
286
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,354
Whoa, that looks
like it hurt.
287
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,523
lt looks like that
because it did hurt, Kevin.
288
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,694
Since then, I've just been
biking through South America.
289
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,780
So, basically, you are
the most interesting man
in the world.
290
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,032
Yeah.
Let me guess,
291
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,660
you guys are here
for the reunion, huh?
292
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,829
You got it.
Class of '99.
293
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,539
Haven't I
seen you before?
294
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,791
Yeah, I'm on TV.
295
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,335
No, not you. You.
296
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,883
'Cause, your face,
you're just so familiar.
297
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,635
Yeah! Yeah,
this is you, right?
298
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,637
(ALL LAUGHING)
KEVIN: Oh! Man, Nadia!
299
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,182
More, more,
you bad boy!
300
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,476
I swear I had these
all taken down.
How did you...
301
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,644
Oh, yeah.
How many times did you
pre-ejaculate again?
302
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,188
Oh, leave him alone.
303
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,357
I bet you were all
desperate virgins
back then.
304
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,237
Selena Vega.
305
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,657
That's Selena Vega
in front of us.
Wait, wait, wait, Selena...
306
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,743
Hold on, Michelle's
friend from band?
307
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,827
You got it.
308
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,704
Oh, my God. I'm sorry
I didn't recognize you.
309
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,206
You look
310
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,665
different.
311
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,668
Well, next round's
on me, okay, guys?
312
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,838
Hey, that chick
was in band?
313
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,424
This is the
first long weekend
I have had in a while
314
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,759
so I wanna
make it count.
315
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,054
I want the place spotless,
and I want it
filled with booze.
316
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,139
And I wanna make sure
you're not around on
Sunday night,
317
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,183
'cause I plan on
bringing some ass
back from the reunion,
318
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,852
and I wanna tap that
without you there.
You got it?
319
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,272
You know, first of all,
Steven, it's my house.
320
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,066
You're lucky
I'm letting you
stay here.
321
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,360
Look, you wanted
me to get a job,
so I got one.
322
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,195
At least let me
have the house
for the weekend.
323
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,614
My house, my rules.
324
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,075
And as for tonight,
if you don't wanna
risk coming home
325
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,868
and seeing more of your
mother than you'd like,
326
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,704
I suggest you
stay out late.
327
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:22,999
Gross.
328
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,293
(ALL LAUGHING)
329
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,296
That was really...
330
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,674
Hey, bar wench,
can I get a Budweiser?
331
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,470
Beer down.
332
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,350
What the fuck are you
fuckers doing here?
333
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,025
You made it!
Made what?
334
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,151
What are you
talking about?
335
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,238
What do you mean?
We sent you an e-mail
336
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,116
about getting together
a couple of days
before the reunion.
337
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,203
You know what?
I must have put two
F's in "Stifmeister."
338
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,788
JIM: What?
KEVIN: I'm sorry.
339
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,625
(LAUGHS)
340
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,003
Two F's? You dumbass!
341
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,379
Kev!
342
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,339
Hey, Kevin, is that
a pussy on your face?
343
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,799
(TRILLING LIPS)
Oh, come on!
344
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,676
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
(SNIFFING)
345
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,885
Nice.
346
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,637
So, Stifler,
you're looking sharp.
347
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,139
What are you
up to these days?
348
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,600
I work at JBH Global.
349
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,685
Wow!
That's a big-time firm.
350
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,936
What do you do
over there?
351
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,188
Oh, you know,
352
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,357
investment stuff.
353
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,193
People wonder
why our financial
system's falling apart.
354
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,322
Nice scarf.
I see you finally
came out of the closet.
355
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,032
How is your mother,
Stifler?
356
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,908
You stay away from
my mom, shitbreak.
357
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,578
Okay, boys,
the past is the past.
358
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,288
We can bury
the hatchet here, huh?
359
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,040
Yeah, fuck it.
360
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,959
Hey, short-shorts!
A round of Jägerbombs
for me and my boys!
361
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,461
Go fuck yourself,
Stifler.
362
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,005
How the hell does
she know my name?
363
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,050
STIFLER: (CACKLING)
Lard Arms?
364
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,301
JIM: Jesus, Stifler.
365
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,346
Talk about an ugly duckling
turning into a swan, right?
366
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,349
Let me see that.
367
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:08,772
Oh! Fingered her,
hairy nips, huge boobs.
368
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,441
Oh. (MOANS)
369
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,610
There she is!
370
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,737
The crème de my cock.
371
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,572
Blowjob Lipstein.
372
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,076
Her given name
was Loni, Stifler.
373
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,953
She used to
call me Big Stiffy.
374
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,957
She was the mouth
that got away.
375
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,167
Last call!
376
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,462
Already?
Wait here, guys.
377
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,924
Oh! Man,
the Senior Wish List.
378
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,051
Wish List?
I don't remember that.
379
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,845
Oh, yeah, man.
It's that cheesy
page in the yearbook
380
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,056
where we all had
to write wishes
about our future.
381
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,017
What, did you write
something cheesy?
Let's see.
382
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,939
"Chris Ostreicher.
Hopes to coach his
son's lacrosse team."
383
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,233
Oh!
Isn't that the
sweetest thing?
384
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,526
Well,
385
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,737
I guess I thought
I'd have a family by now.
386
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,114
All right, you wanna hear
what you wrote, Finch?
387
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,281
FINCH: I do.
388
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,244
"Paul Finch hopes to
find le grand amour."
389
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,538
Yes, true love.
390
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,251
Alas, I have yet to find
what you would call
a real relationship.
391
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,045
Right, because banging
Stifler's mom didn't count.
392
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,257
OZ: All right, let's see
what you got, Kev.
393
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,844
"Kevin Myers. Hopes to
still be living it up
394
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,097
"with the amazing
Vicky Lathum."
395
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,557
Oh, man! Vicky! What?
396
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,017
I am sure your wife
would be very happy
to read that.
397
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,937
What? I was dating
Vicky at the time.
398
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,439
Let me see what I put.
399
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,900
"Jim Levenstein
400
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,076
"hopes to have the
sex life of Ricky Martin."
401
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,915
So, I'm assuming
you didn't know
he was gay back then.
402
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,667
Jim, it's a good thing
you found a woman
403
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,586
with the sex drive
of a dozen groupies. Hmm?
404
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,005
I mean, you're
probably having more
sex than any of us.
405
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,341
Probably, you know.
406
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,511
Hope you guys are thirsty.
Stifler Claus is here.
407
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,264
Whoa! Stifler,
that's a little too much,
don't you think?
408
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,516
Dude, find your balls
and return them to your sack.
409
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,685
I say we keep
this party going.
410
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,687
I say we make this
weekend our bitch.
411
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,316
We could party together,
do all the same shit that
we used to do together.
412
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,817
It'll be just
like old times.
413
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,653
Hell yes!
That's why I'm here.
414
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,323
No Bachelorette,
no Real Housewives.
415
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:27,035
Thing is,
you only get one chance
at your 13th reunion.
416
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,582
I was kind of hoping
to spend a little
time with the wife.
417
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,708
Fuck!
Dude!
418
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,169
James?
What? Come on!
419
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,005
I mean, I'm in.
Of course I'm in.
Come on, what?
420
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,173
Yeah!
Yeah.
421
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,927
Then, gentlemen,
I hope you're all
wearing protection,
422
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,137
because this weekend,
we're gonna fuck shit up!
423
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:47,972
JIM: Cheers!
OZ: Yeah! All right!
424
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,018
(DOORBELL RINGING)
425
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,437
(GROANS SOFTLY)
426
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,620
What the fuck?
427
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,165
Holy shit.
428
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:17,919
(BOTH GIGGLING)
429
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,671
Hey!
430
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,256
Hi.
431
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,675
What happened?
432
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,429
(STUTTERING)
I don't really remember.
433
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,517
I blame you. How much
did you let him drink
last night?
434
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,395
SELENA: Honestly,
not that much.
435
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:38,773
Well, we gotta clean this up
before we go to the lake.
436
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,026
What? The lake?
437
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,280
Yeah, the lake, dude.
lt was your idea.
438
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,991
We discussed
all this last night.
439
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,368
Oh, the lake!
Yes, of course, the...
440
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,745
Hey, Jim, can you hand me
those paper towels, please?
441
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:58,459
Oh, those paper towels?
The paper ones.
442
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,545
Uh...
443
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,381
The paper towels, Jim.
444
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,466
Jim!
Yeah...
445
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,010
The paper towels!
446
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,262
(GASPS)
447
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,476
I'm really sorry.
448
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:20,523
Jim, you do realize that
the lid is see-through, right?
449
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,153
Oh, wow.
450
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,574
Good eye.
451
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,161
That's the father
of my child.
452
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,167
(WHOOPING)
453
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,135
Oh, come on!
454
00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,721
Hey, watch it!
Okay, jeez.
455
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,433
Am I wrong, or was
this place a lot more fun
when we were younger?
456
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,770
No, no. I think
it's the same.
We're just old now.
457
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,149
But were we just
as obnoxious as these
kids back in the day?
458
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,484
No.
459
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,320
Us, our generation,
we were more mature.
460
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,155
Hey, guys,
check it out.
461
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,657
Vagina shark!
462
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,203
(SCREAMING)
463
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,579
He touched
my snatch!
464
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,831
I take that back.
465
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,258
FINCH: Oh, my God.
466
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,177
Fellas, do you
gotta stare?
467
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,345
Yeah.
Yeah.
468
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,097
Yes, we do
need to stare.
469
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:39,143
(SCOFFS) Could Jim
be any more obvious?
470
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,729
Oh, give him a break.
471
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,483
I mean, it's not every day
you get to see a model
walking around off the page.
472
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,987
There hasn't been
a whole lot of sexy time
473
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,115
in the Levenstein
household lately.
474
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,199
Why not?
475
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,994
I don't know.
I'm a mom now.
476
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:59,372
(SCOFFS) Oh, please!
477
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,457
Just because you're
a mom doesn't mean
478
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,085
there isn't a whole
other side to you.
(LAUGHS)
479
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,964
Hey, remember that
one time at band camp,
480
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,508
when we licked whipped cream
off each other's...
481
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,803
Yes! Yes! I remember.
482
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:16,055
Let's keep that
in the past, though, okay?
483
00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,684
JIM: Oh, she's...
484
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,437
Yeah, well, you gotta
do that, or else you're
gonna get tan lines.
485
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,064
Sideboob. There... Sorry.
(WHISPERING) Sideboob.
Ozzy, look!
486
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,608
Okay! Come on!
487
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,486
You're a lucky man, Oz.
488
00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:33,906
Oh, come on, guys.
I think we're all pretty
489
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,784
lucky.
490
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,290
Wait, is that Heather?
491
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:45,126
(INDISTINCT)
492
00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,128
Yeah, it is.
493
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,632
Heather.
494
00:25:51,758 --> 00:25:52,758
Chris!
495
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,802
Hey.
496
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,471
What are you
doing here?
497
00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:00,391
I guess we had
the same idea, huh?
498
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,102
Chris, this is Ron,
my boyfriend.
499
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,563
Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
500
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,731
How do you do?
501
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,816
Ron's a cardiologist
at my hospital.
502
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,319
A cardiologist. Wow.
503
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:15,031
Yeah. And, hey, listen,
my friends call me Doctor Ron,
D-Ron or just Dron.
504
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,073
So you feel free.
505
00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,700
Okay.
506
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:18,951
Hey, fuckface!
507
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,162
Choir chick! Whoa!
508
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,581
Nice to see you,
too, Stifler.
509
00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:24,790
Who's this douche?
510
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,168
I'm her boyfriend.
511
00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,630
So, you two
are banging,
512
00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,257
and you two
used to bang.
513
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,260
This must be awkward
for all of you.
514
00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:38,095
(LAUGHS) lt is now.
515
00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:39,180
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
516
00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:41,641
That little shit
took my top!
(LAUGHS)
517
00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:43,142
Give it back!
518
00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:47,146
Um, that's my girlfriend.
519
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,608
What's this?
What's this?
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
520
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:51,734
(LAUGHS)
521
00:26:51,818 --> 00:26:54,779
Hey, kid!
What do you think
you're doing?
522
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,531
Hey!
Come on, come on, let's go!
523
00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,825
Come on, guys. Not cool!
524
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,954
What're you assholes
gonna do about it?
(BOYS SNICKERING)
525
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,123
(EXCLAIMING)
526
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,131
Well, that was
interesting.
527
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,675
Well, should we
do something?
528
00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,134
What are we gonna do?
Come on.
529
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,388
Agreed.
There's no need to
stoop to their level.
530
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:21,973
Fuck that!
531
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,058
I know exactly
where they're going.
532
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:28,354
Stifler?
533
00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:31,315
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC BLARING)
534
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:46,831
(SIGHS)
535
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,416
JIM: Where the
hell is he?
536
00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:49,917
Guys, this
is stupid.
537
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,211
I really can't
keep Michelle waiting.
Can we just head back?
538
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,255
Hold on.
Let Stifler do his thing.
539
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,507
Yeah, that's what
I'm afraid of.
540
00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,725
Did you guys see
the look on their faces?
541
00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:06,934
Fucking awesome.
542
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,561
BO: He is crazy.
543
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,857
I think one of those guys
was Kara's babysitter.
544
00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,025
Which one?
545
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,402
You know,
the one that looked
like Adam Sandler.
546
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:18,029
(BOYS LAUGHING)
547
00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:26,120
JIM: Stifler better not
do anything crazy.
548
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,913
All he's gonna do
is tell them off.
549
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,874
I thought he was gonna
cut their jet skis free.
550
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,584
What happened
to pissing in
their suntan lotion?
551
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,211
Hold on.
He told me he was going
to steal their beer.
552
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,464
(SIGHING) Stifler.
553
00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,353
KEVIN: Oh, wait.
There he is.
554
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,562
OZ: All right.
555
00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:53,939
JIM: Yep,
he's taking
their beer.
556
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,275
All right, hurry up,
Stifler. Come on.
557
00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,487
What is he doing?
558
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,072
OZ: Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
JIM: Wait.
559
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,782
Oh, God!
KEVIN: Oh, my God.
560
00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,075
Steven!
No!
561
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,159
Oh, God.
562
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,328
Yo, so you really
think Kara's gonna
give it up tonight?
563
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,413
AJ: She was waiting
until she turns 18.
You do the math.
564
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:10,456
(GRUNTING)
565
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,252
The only math I know is
you've added your penis
to her vagina zero times.
566
00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:18,714
(SPLASHING)
567
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:20,841
(SIGHS)
568
00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,510
KYLE: Jennifer's
not a skank.
569
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,594
BO: Dude, yes, she is.
570
00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:24,762
I'm gonna throw up.
571
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,264
Oh, my God.
That's disgusting.
572
00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,474
What're you doing?
573
00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:30,476
(MOUTHING)
574
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,353
Hurry up. Come on!
575
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,605
BO: Down it, man!
Just chug it! Chug it!
576
00:29:34,689 --> 00:29:36,690
Do it. Do it!
Don't puss out.
577
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,359
Don't puss out!
578
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,443
Let's just go.
Let's go.
579
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,528
Go, go.
Go, go, go, go.
Go, go.
580
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,697
You want another?
581
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,865
For sure.
582
00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:49,620
Guys, I'm telling you,
tonight is gonna be the night
she promised me a year ago.
583
00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,795
What the...
584
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,214
Hey! Dipshit!
585
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,724
No!
586
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,227
No, no!
587
00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:15,980
(LOUD CRASHING)
588
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,567
Stifler!
Are you crazy?
589
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,154
Jesus, Stifler, what happened
to just stealing their beer?
590
00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:25,239
I know, this is so
much better, right?
591
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:27,199
What?
(LAUGHS)
592
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,243
JIM: You destroyed
their jet skis.
593
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,412
They splashed us.
594
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,414
So...
595
00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,671
Come on, guys.
That was pretty funny.
596
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,674
Maybe in high school
it was funny.
Now it's just a felony.
597
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,009
Only if we
get caught.
598
00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,845
Yeah, you gotta admit,
it was nice giving those
kids a little payback.
599
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,014
Maybe it was good
that they will learn to
respect their elders.
600
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,390
Exactly!
601
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,226
Hey, give me a second,
I gotta find some
toilet paper.
602
00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,603
That's gross.
603
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,980
VICKY: What's up,
Class of '99-ers?
604
00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,107
Oh, my God! Vicky!
605
00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,192
Hi!
606
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,276
Hey!
607
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:03,611
I can't believe
you're here.
608
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,279
Yeah, I flew in from
New York last night.
609
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,906
I've been hanging
out with my parents.
610
00:31:07,073 --> 00:31:09,116
They were
actually just talking
about you earlier.
611
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,826
Really? About what?
612
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,454
That time they caught us
making out at the Falls.
613
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,039
Oh, right.
614
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,083
The Falls. Wow, I haven't
been there in forever.
615
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,294
Michelle used to love
going to the Falls.
616
00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,795
The place is
romance incarnate.
617
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,132
Hell, yeah.
I got my first
rim job at the Falls.
618
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,425
Okay.
619
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,303
Hey, sweetie.
620
00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:30,387
Mmm, sweetie pie!
621
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,680
Hello.
622
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,560
So, the guys were all
talking about heading
over to the Falls.
623
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,772
Well, what about
Jim and Michelle time?
624
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,149
I was thinking it
could be kind of
romantic.
625
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,861
Well, I'd love to,
but your dad has
been with Ev all day.
626
00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,696
Yeah, no,
you're right.
627
00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,865
Okay. Yeah,
we'll just,
we'll go home.
628
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:53,077
Oh, no, no.
You go and have fun.
629
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:54,245
Really?
Yeah.
630
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,915
Just, when you get home,
you just better be ready.
631
00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,625
You better be ready.
632
00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,335
I'm ready.
633
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:10,636
Um, Stifler, do you know
where you're going?
634
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:13,264
I know this place
like the back of my cock.
635
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:15,266
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
636
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,142
(DANCE MUSIC BLARING)
637
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,235
lt looks like
a high school party.
638
00:32:28,154 --> 00:32:29,530
With high school chicks.
639
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,825
It's on.
640
00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,536
Watch it, Stifler.
You know these girls are,
like, half your age.
641
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:36,787
I know.
642
00:32:37,872 --> 00:32:38,872
(YELPS)
643
00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:40,666
(CHEERING)
644
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:46,547
Okay, is it just me,
or do girls today
seem a bit sluttier?
645
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,756
Definitely.
646
00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,884
Teen sex, rainbow parties,
sexting nude photos...
647
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,429
I saw it all on
Kathie Lee & Hoda.
648
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,639
Happy birthday! (WHOOPING)
649
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,647
Jim?
650
00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,774
Kara.
You came!
651
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,359
Hey!
652
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:09,486
Sorry.
653
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:10,738
(SQUEALS)
654
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,905
Happy birthday.
655
00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,451
Oh, my God,
is this the babysitter?
656
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,493
Mmm-hmm.
657
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,079
You make it sound
like I'm a superhero.
(CHUCKLES)
658
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,957
Faster than a speeding
stroller, more powerful
than a mini-van.
659
00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:23,375
(ALL LAUGHING)
660
00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,543
I told you
he was funny.
661
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,836
He's adorable.
662
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,671
(FEIGNING LAUGHTER)
663
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,090
Hey, Jim. Do you
wanna introduce me
to your friends?
664
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,258
No.
665
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,012
Girls,
this is Stifler.
666
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,931
So, how do you know
my best friend Jim?
667
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,808
Jim used to be
my babysitter.
668
00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,687
Hey, I was just
gonna do a birthday shot.
669
00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,105
Do you guys
wanna do one with me?
670
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,315
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
671
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,399
Yeah. Oh, yes,
yes, yes.
672
00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:49,360
I shouldn't.
Yes, we should,
yes, we should.
673
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,822
Never have I ever
had sex in public.
674
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,996
Really? None of you?
675
00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,791
Oh, come on, Heather.
You haven't drank once.
676
00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:05,501
You are such a prude!
677
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,421
Or maybe I've just
never had sex in public.
678
00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:15,761
Okay, never have I
ever been in an orgy.
679
00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,268
They were
really nice guys.
680
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,147
Believe it or not,
this is my first
high school party.
681
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,774
You didn't miss much.
682
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:33,487
I always
preferred staying at home,
throwing on a little NPR.
683
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,489
You were so much
cooler than me.
684
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,576
I sat around writing
X-Files fan fiction.
685
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:47,334
I translated
The Brothers Karamazov
into Latin for fun.
686
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,171
That is so sexy.
687
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,674
You know it is.
688
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,509
I've only been
working as an architect
689
00:34:55,593 --> 00:34:58,011
for the last few years,
and from home.
690
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,055
You've been with
the same company
for over ten years.
691
00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:02,474
That's awesome, it sounds
like everything is
working out for you.
692
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,936
Yeah. I mean,
everything's good,
especially work-wise.
693
00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:07,521
But now that we're
back here in the town,
694
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,148
and we see, like,
all of our old friends,
695
00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:11,859
and everyone's married
and having kids,
696
00:35:12,026 --> 00:35:14,945
it just makes me,
you know, think.
697
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:17,281
(COUGHS)
698
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,532
You okay there, Kev?
699
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,202
Yeah, I just don't
normally drink like this.
700
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,413
You're telling me
you haven't gotten
a little bit tipsy
701
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,914
on Myers Family
Wine Night?
702
00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,126
I see somebody's been
stalking my Facebook page.
703
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,670
At least I don't take
pictures of my meals.
704
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,297
Who's stalking who now?
705
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,800
Okay,
so I've been by your page
maybe once or twice.
706
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,220
You were dating someone
named Alessandro?
707
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,057
You know, he does know
that he can take a picture
with his shirt on, right?
708
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:47,311
Alessandro is long gone.
709
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,981
It's over, huh?
710
00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,237
Okay, after this drink,
I have to go home.
711
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,363
Jim.
712
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,284
There's a smoking hot
18-year-old girl over there
that you used to babysit.
713
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,411
And you're not going to
do anything about that?
714
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:06,663
Need I remind you that
I am married to Michelle?
715
00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:07,748
Exactly.
716
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:13,629
Dude, these young chicks,
they know some crazy shit
in the bedroom.
717
00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,007
You could take what
you learn from Kara,
718
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,760
bring it home,
and apply it to Michelle.
719
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,096
You do care about your
marriage, don't you, Jim?
720
00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:24,765
What are you talking
about, Stifler?
721
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,017
I'm not gonna
cheat on my wife!
722
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,186
I'm a father
for Christ's sakes.
723
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,355
Yeah, that's perfect.
724
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,149
Yeah, chicks love
a father figure.
Keep playing that card, dude.
725
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,485
It's not a card,
it's the truth.
726
00:36:36,653 --> 00:36:38,028
Hey.
Hi.
727
00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:39,446
What are you guys
talking about?
728
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,782
Oh, you know...
Just...
729
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,369
Jim was just saying
how much fun he had
taking care of you.
730
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,163
Hey, ladies, why don't
we give them some time
to catch up?
731
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,414
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, after you.
732
00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,792
No, that's not necessary.
We should all hang out
together.
733
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,544
Why don't we all...
Stifler, just...
734
00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,045
Be her daddy.
735
00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,131
Stifler? Stifler!
736
00:37:00,134 --> 00:37:05,138
So, sounds like
you and Mia have quite
an adventurous lifestyle.
737
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,724
Sometimes a little
too adventurous.
738
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:12,396
Wow.
Well, Heather's a bit more
on the conservative side.
739
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,480
But, uh...
740
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,982
Hey!
Hi.
741
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:20,654
But, I gotta be honest,
Chris, I could use
a little adventure myself.
742
00:37:21,155 --> 00:37:22,698
What are you
getting at, Ron?
743
00:37:22,865 --> 00:37:27,578
I'm just saying that
usually I'm not
one for swapping,
744
00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:33,000
but the fact that you've
been with Heather already,
kind of makes it okay.
745
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,587
So, what do you think?
746
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,922
Think they'd be
into it?
747
00:37:41,175 --> 00:37:42,718
I'm kidding.
Come on, I'm kidding!
748
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:44,261
(LAUGHS)
749
00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:46,179
Seriously,
I would never do that!
750
00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,932
Unless you guys
wanted to.
751
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,853
So you've really
been to every country
in South America?
752
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,938
No, no,
not all of them.
753
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,191
And I don't consider
French Guiana a nation.
754
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,196
I remember, I couldn't
wait till graduation
755
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,283
so I could leave this town
and reinvent myself.
756
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,161
You have certainly
reinvented yourself.
757
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,329
I don't know.
758
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,623
There's just a part of me
that still wishes that
759
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,125
I could just explore
the world, you know?
760
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,127
Be everything
I set out to be.
761
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,298
You can be
whoever you wanna be.
You just gotta be it.
762
00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,302
You wanna make out?
Yeah.
763
00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,976
Are you crazy?
I love the Twilight books.
764
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,895
New Moon is my favorite.
765
00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,063
Mine, too!
766
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,774
Oh, my God!
We have, like,
so much in common!
767
00:38:38,941 --> 00:38:40,150
I know!
I know!
768
00:38:40,234 --> 00:38:41,234
(ALL LAUGHING)
769
00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:43,570
Wanna hit this?
770
00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,405
ln more ways than one.
771
00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:52,579
(WOMAN MOANING ON RINGTONE)
772
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,459
(STIFLED) I don't know
who this is, but I'm pretty
fucking busy right now.
773
00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,835
So sorry to interrupt,
Stafler.
774
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,129
Didn't realize
the Special Olympics
competed at night.
775
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:02,297
Oh, fuck.
776
00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:03,924
(COUGHING)
777
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,342
What the hell's
going on over there?
778
00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:06,843
What, are you choking
on your own dick?
779
00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,847
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy,
nothing.
780
00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,683
What can I do
for you, sir?
781
00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:14,685
Bob from Acquisitions
had a heart attack.
782
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,520
Some idiot told him
that he was fired.
783
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,896
He flipped out,
I don't know.
784
00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,399
Listen, I need someone
to finish his presentation.
785
00:39:20,566 --> 00:39:23,318
I need you to go in on Sunday
and get everything ready. Yes?
786
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,779
Oh, wait, Sunday.
787
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:27,864
I got my high school
reunion.
788
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,157
Oh, wow, how fun!
789
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,659
Yeah, no, I'll just
call the chairman,
790
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,827
and I'll get him
to reschedule.
791
00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:34,246
Seriously?
Hey, that would be awesome!
792
00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,791
That was a fucking joke,
you moron. Jesus Christ,
what am I doing?
793
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,627
You know what,
I am gonna handle
this myself.
794
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:43,588
No. No, no, no,
listen, Mr. Duraiswamy,
795
00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:46,466
I can do it, okay?
I promise,
I'll get it done.
796
00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:48,176
Just don't fuck up,
Stafler.
797
00:39:48,261 --> 00:39:50,804
It's Stifler.
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
798
00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:52,931
Dick! Hey, ladies...
799
00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,475
Ladies?
They bailed, dude.
800
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,352
Aw, fuck!
801
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:00,480
Ugh!
Um...
802
00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:02,357
Ooh! (LAUGHS)
803
00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:05,819
Hey, Kara, how are you
getting home tonight?
804
00:40:06,571 --> 00:40:08,655
AJ was supposed to
drive my car back,
805
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,157
but he hasn't
even shown up yet.
806
00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:12,659
Some lame excuse
about his jet skis.
807
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:14,494
Can you believe
that jerk?
808
00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:18,165
What about you?
809
00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:19,499
Will you take me?
810
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,877
Uh... Um...
811
00:40:22,503 --> 00:40:25,505
Come on! We're going
to the same place.
812
00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,591
Besides, it wouldn't
be responsible
813
00:40:27,675 --> 00:40:30,010
to let me drive
in this condition.
814
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:31,428
Right?
815
00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:37,601
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)
816
00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:38,643
(WHOOPING)
817
00:40:38,728 --> 00:40:40,061
Okay, Kara.
818
00:40:40,688 --> 00:40:44,065
Hey! Whoa! Careful!
Careful. Yeah.
819
00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:45,901
Oh, my God,
I love this song.
820
00:40:46,068 --> 00:40:47,110
It's a good one.
821
00:40:47,195 --> 00:40:48,737
Isn't classic rock
the best?
822
00:40:48,905 --> 00:40:52,199
Classic rock?
This is
classic rock now?
823
00:40:54,035 --> 00:40:56,244
Hey, you know, Kara,
you should drink
some more water.
824
00:40:56,329 --> 00:40:57,871
Where's that
bottle I gave you?
825
00:40:58,039 --> 00:40:59,956
Oh, it's right here.
Okay.
826
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:02,209
ln the back.
827
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,464
(HORN HONKS)
(TIRES SQUEAL)
828
00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:11,218
Shit. Sorry. Sorry.
There was a...
(CLEARS THROAT)
829
00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:15,305
There was a little
baby squirrel
in the road, so...
830
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:19,935
Whoa! Hey! Whoa!
That's not water. Okay.
831
00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:23,438
It's a little
too much now.
832
00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:27,400
I love how, after
all these years, you're
still taking care of me.
833
00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:30,529
Well, you know,
a babysitter's
job never ends.
834
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:33,824
(GIGGLING)
You knew I always had
a crush on you, right?
835
00:41:33,908 --> 00:41:35,659
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
836
00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:37,077
(HESITANTLY) No.
837
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,372
I want you
to be my first.
838
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:44,084
Your first?
839
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:46,253
Oh, God. Okay. Um...
840
00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:48,463
Kara, listen. Um...
841
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:53,969
A person's virginity
is something sacred,
you know?
842
00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:55,637
You should save yourself
for someone special.
843
00:41:55,721 --> 00:41:56,763
You're special.
844
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,308
No! Not special.
845
00:42:00,476 --> 00:42:02,602
You think?
I really...
846
00:42:02,979 --> 00:42:04,604
What are you doing?
847
00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:05,856
Hey, what are you doing?
848
00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:08,525
Come on. No one
will ever find out.
849
00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:13,405
I don't know.
I don't think...
850
00:42:14,115 --> 00:42:15,824
I don't think
I should do that.
851
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:18,577
That's... No. I can't.
I won't. I won't.
852
00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:20,078
So, you know...
That's...
853
00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:22,372
Whoa! Hello!
Okay, okay.
(GIGGLING)
854
00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:25,834
Kara, Kara, that's kissing.
Okay, Kara, you need
to stop. Stop. Stop!
855
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,629
You don't think
I'm pretty?
856
00:42:29,755 --> 00:42:34,551
Huh? Oh, no!
You're very pretty, Kara.
You're very, very...
857
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:36,386
Really?
Yes, very pretty.
858
00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:37,888
But I... Very pretty.
Thanks.
859
00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:39,472
Oh, my God!
860
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,893
Holy shit! What?
861
00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:44,144
(GIGGLING)
862
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:45,228
Oh, my...
Where did your...
863
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:46,313
Come on.
864
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,815
I can't think of
a better birthday gift.
865
00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:50,525
What about
the new iPhone?
866
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,569
Huh? Maybe a little pendant?
The new Nicki Minaj album?
867
00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:54,738
No.
No? Boobies.
868
00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:56,156
I want you!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
869
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,490
You can't...
Don't do that.
870
00:42:57,575 --> 00:42:59,075
That's not good,
don't...
871
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:00,660
Come on, stop.
(ENGINE REVVING)
872
00:43:00,828 --> 00:43:02,704
Kara! Kara! Stop it.
873
00:43:03,331 --> 00:43:04,456
Shit!
874
00:43:04,540 --> 00:43:06,207
(TIRES SCREECHING)
875
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:07,834
Whoa!
(HORN HONKS)
876
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,003
Shit. Kara?
877
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,172
Holy Jesus! Kara?
878
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:14,716
Kara! Kara!
Please wake up, Kara!
879
00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:16,551
Kara, wake up. Kara!
880
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:17,719
Are you okay?
881
00:43:17,845 --> 00:43:18,929
Oh, Jesus, God!
882
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,430
Oh, my God,
are you all right?
883
00:43:21,057 --> 00:43:22,682
Hey, hi.
884
00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:25,852
Jim?
Hey!
885
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:28,563
What? This is crazy!
886
00:43:28,773 --> 00:43:30,148
Are you all right?
887
00:43:30,232 --> 00:43:33,693
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm okay. I was just... Um...
888
00:43:33,861 --> 00:43:36,237
I was reaching
for something.
889
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:38,573
Everything's okay.
Everything's fine.
890
00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:40,450
I don't know
if you've heard.
Mmm?
891
00:43:40,534 --> 00:43:41,534
Did you hear?
892
00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:44,788
I am in charge
of the reunion.
893
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:47,749
Oh! Yeah, no, that's...
Yeah, that's right.
894
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,376
Got a whole
'90s theme planned.
895
00:43:49,543 --> 00:43:51,294
Oh. That's...
896
00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:53,254
I booked Chumbawamba.
897
00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:55,382
Yeah. But the pricks
cancelled yesterday.
898
00:43:55,591 --> 00:43:58,385
Was a setback,
but you know me,
899
00:43:58,594 --> 00:44:01,972
"I get knocked down
but I get up again."
(CHUCKLES)
900
00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:03,640
(CHUCKLES)
901
00:44:03,724 --> 00:44:04,849
(MOANS GROGGILY)
902
00:44:04,934 --> 00:44:07,143
Oh, my God!
Okay, I see
what's going on.
903
00:44:07,269 --> 00:44:11,272
(MOUTHING)
904
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:14,818
Yep.
905
00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:16,027
I'll see you
later, buddy.
906
00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:17,862
All right then,
I'll see you.
907
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:22,867
Jesus, God. Kara.
Kara, wake up.
908
00:44:23,035 --> 00:44:25,036
I just need a nap.
What?
909
00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:27,288
Kara, this isn't time
for a nap. Kara, wake up.
910
00:44:27,456 --> 00:44:28,748
This isn't napping time.
(SNORING)
911
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,543
Kara? Shit.
912
00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:40,468
Oh, God, this is bad.
This is very, very bad.
913
00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:53,273
What took you guys
so long?
914
00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:55,483
We were looking for Kevin.
Couldn't find him.
915
00:44:55,651 --> 00:44:59,112
Plus, that hot piece of ass
Oz is banging got wasted,
so we had to drop her off.
916
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:00,280
You brought him?
917
00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,531
Of course
they brought me.
918
00:45:01,657 --> 00:45:03,199
When you guys
were busy jacking off
in high school,
919
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,243
I was running this
drill every weekend.
920
00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:07,328
Now, let's see what
we are dealing with.
921
00:45:09,915 --> 00:45:10,915
Oh!
922
00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:13,251
Holy shit!
923
00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:14,377
Way to go, Jim.
924
00:45:14,462 --> 00:45:17,630
Shh. Okay, nothing
happened, Stifler.
Okay? Nothing happened.
925
00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:18,798
Stop that!
926
00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:20,050
I'm sorry.
927
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:21,551
So, Jim, what
do you wanna do?
928
00:45:21,635 --> 00:45:22,886
I don't know.
929
00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,763
I can't just leave her
here naked, you know?
930
00:45:24,930 --> 00:45:27,599
I mean, if the cops come by
and find out I'm involved,
931
00:45:28,434 --> 00:45:29,601
I'm screwed.
932
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,644
That leaves us
with two options.
933
00:45:32,605 --> 00:45:34,272
We dump the body or
we sneak her inside.
934
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,441
Dump the body?
This isn't a mob hit.
935
00:45:36,609 --> 00:45:37,817
Okay, wait a second.
936
00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:41,321
I have been in her house
a million times to babysit.
937
00:45:41,489 --> 00:45:44,532
I can totally sneak her in
through the back door.
938
00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:47,285
I need you guys to
distract her parents.
939
00:45:47,453 --> 00:45:49,162
Do you think
you can do that?
(SCOFFS)
940
00:45:49,538 --> 00:45:53,625
I'm an expert, Jim.
Trust me. I got this shit.
941
00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:56,920
(DOORBELL RINGS)
942
00:46:01,133 --> 00:46:02,675
Good evening, sir.
943
00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:04,677
My friend's
car broke down,
944
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:08,306
and we were just
wondering if we could use
your phone to call AAA.
945
00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:12,519
You mean to tell me
that none of you
have cell phones?
946
00:46:18,651 --> 00:46:19,818
(GASPS)
947
00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:23,530
Oh, my God, I know you.
You were on
Celebrity Dance Off.
948
00:46:23,697 --> 00:46:25,615
Oh, yeah!
949
00:46:25,699 --> 00:46:26,825
Ostreicher.
950
00:46:26,992 --> 00:46:28,201
Oh, yeah.
951
00:46:28,369 --> 00:46:29,494
Hey, come on in.
952
00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:32,914
That was very
smooth, Stifler.
953
00:46:33,082 --> 00:46:34,332
Shut up, shitbreak.
954
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,668
The last time I did this,
cell phones didn't exist.
955
00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:40,046
(DOOR SHUTS)
956
00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:52,142
(GASPING)
957
00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:53,351
Shit!
958
00:46:59,358 --> 00:47:00,567
Daddy.
959
00:47:02,236 --> 00:47:03,278
Look, Mom, Daddy!
960
00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:04,362
Shit!
961
00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:18,918
(SIGHS)
962
00:47:19,003 --> 00:47:20,753
Oh, fuck!
963
00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:25,592
Kara?
964
00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:27,468
(KARA GIGGLES)
965
00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:28,595
Kara?
966
00:47:28,762 --> 00:47:30,972
KARA: Gonna
have to find me.
967
00:47:31,056 --> 00:47:32,223
Kara?
968
00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:33,308
(RECORDED MESSAGE
PLAYING)
969
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:35,393
Thank you, Sheranda.
You've been very helpful.
970
00:47:35,477 --> 00:47:37,896
You get a Triple
A-plus in my book.
971
00:47:38,063 --> 00:47:41,107
Oh, you take care, too.
Okay, yeah, bye-bye.
972
00:47:42,109 --> 00:47:46,487
So, that was AAA
on the phone and they
should be here in a jiffy.
973
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:49,115
Does this song
sound familiar?
974
00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:50,992
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
975
00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:57,081
You were such a good dancer.
I felt so bad when
you got voted off.
976
00:47:57,291 --> 00:47:58,333
Thank you.
977
00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:00,501
But I have to say
you're much sexier
in person.
978
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:04,672
Okay. Calm down
there, Susan.
979
00:48:05,466 --> 00:48:08,092
Dude, she wants
to fuck you
big time, dude.
980
00:48:08,260 --> 00:48:10,428
You got to hit that.
No fucking way.
981
00:48:10,596 --> 00:48:11,846
Do it for Jim, dude,
don't be selfish.
982
00:48:12,306 --> 00:48:15,141
Hey, you know what?
I think I have to
go to the bathroom.
983
00:48:16,018 --> 00:48:18,102
Kara, this is not funny.
984
00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:20,980
Kara, come on!
Kara, come out.
985
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,357
Boo!
986
00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:23,816
Oh, my God!
987
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,611
Okay, hey, come on.
988
00:48:26,695 --> 00:48:29,280
Okay, one...
Okay, all right...
989
00:48:29,448 --> 00:48:31,240
Come on.
Okay, good.
990
00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:33,076
You never
could find me.
991
00:48:33,243 --> 00:48:35,995
Jim, I don't mean to alarm you
but you don't have much time.
992
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,163
Yes, I know.
993
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:38,623
I like your scarf.
Okay.
994
00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:40,500
I like your breasts.
Door.
995
00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:42,085
Would it be okay
if I get a picture?
996
00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:43,252
Sure.
997
00:48:47,758 --> 00:48:49,342
I know it's in
here somewhere.
998
00:48:49,426 --> 00:48:51,135
(MOUTHING)
999
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:55,431
Okay, a bottle
of hair spray...
1000
00:48:55,516 --> 00:48:56,599
You guys all right?
1001
00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:58,017
Yeah. Yeah.
1002
00:48:58,769 --> 00:48:59,852
You know something?
1003
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:04,816
I really was admiring
how clean your toilet
was in your bathroom.
1004
00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:06,484
Thanks.
1005
00:49:07,152 --> 00:49:09,362
You know what?
I have to use
the restroom, too.
1006
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:10,613
No, you don't.
1007
00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:17,704
(CLEARS THROAT)
1008
00:49:18,205 --> 00:49:19,330
Let's get in bed.
(GIGGLING)
1009
00:49:19,498 --> 00:49:20,540
Come on and get
in bed with me?
1010
00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:21,749
No, I'm not
getting in bed...
1011
00:49:21,834 --> 00:49:22,875
Come on.
Get in bed with me.
1012
00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:25,503
No, I'm not...
Kara, please. Oh, God.
Please.
1013
00:49:25,587 --> 00:49:26,587
Oh, shit!
1014
00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:28,965
Stifler, what are
you doing here?
1015
00:49:29,133 --> 00:49:30,967
I just wanted
another glimpse.
No.
1016
00:49:31,135 --> 00:49:32,552
Why'd you put her
clothes back on,
dude? Boo.
1017
00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:33,845
You have to go.
1018
00:49:35,514 --> 00:49:36,723
What was that?
1019
00:49:36,849 --> 00:49:39,058
That sounded like
it came from outside.
1020
00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:41,060
No, that came
from Kara's room.
1021
00:49:41,228 --> 00:49:42,311
Oh, Jesus.
1022
00:49:42,396 --> 00:49:43,396
KARA'S DAD: Kara?
1023
00:49:45,441 --> 00:49:46,441
Oh, my God.
1024
00:49:48,193 --> 00:49:49,402
Go, go, go!
1025
00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:58,077
What the hell's
going on in here?
1026
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,330
Hi, Daddy.
1027
00:50:02,082 --> 00:50:03,124
How'd you get back in?
1028
00:50:04,209 --> 00:50:05,376
I don't remember.
1029
00:50:05,544 --> 00:50:07,003
You don't remember?
1030
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:08,921
What was that sound?
1031
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:09,964
I don't know.
1032
00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:11,132
What do you mean,
you don't know?
1033
00:50:11,216 --> 00:50:12,216
I don't know.
1034
00:50:14,219 --> 00:50:15,553
You've been drinking,
haven't you?
1035
00:50:15,721 --> 00:50:16,846
No.
1036
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:19,807
Kara, I told you these boys
try to get you drunk
1037
00:50:19,892 --> 00:50:21,517
so they can take
advantage of you.
1038
00:50:21,602 --> 00:50:23,186
I'm old enough
to know that, Dad.
1039
00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:24,937
Yeah, well, I don't
want to go to jail
1040
00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,939
for kicking some
horny kid's teeth in
1041
00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:28,775
but I will, believe me.
1042
00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:30,234
(COW MOOING)
1043
00:50:32,446 --> 00:50:33,571
What is that?
1044
00:50:33,739 --> 00:50:37,033
(LAUGHING)
Oh, that's Mr. Moo!
1045
00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:40,578
Will you get him for me,
Daddy? Please.
1046
00:50:53,342 --> 00:50:54,509
(MOOING)
1047
00:50:57,805 --> 00:50:59,931
I can't be mad
at my angel.
1048
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:08,106
Happy birthday,
princess.
1049
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,398
Thanks, Dad.
1050
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:10,483
(DOOR SHUTS)
1051
00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:11,526
(EXHALES)
1052
00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:13,611
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1053
00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:16,239
(GRUNTING)
1054
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:19,992
What are you doing?
1055
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:22,120
Nothing.
1056
00:51:25,707 --> 00:51:26,999
Oh, jeez.
1057
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:30,294
(WHISPERING) Stifler?
1058
00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:32,547
Stifler?
1059
00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:33,673
Up here, dude.
1060
00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:36,467
I told you
I was an expert.
1061
00:51:37,636 --> 00:51:38,845
Oh, shit.
1062
00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:41,139
What the hell
is going on now?
1063
00:51:44,059 --> 00:51:45,226
Hey.
1064
00:51:45,310 --> 00:51:47,186
Want to go to
a Justin Bieber concert?
1065
00:51:47,271 --> 00:51:48,688
Uh... Jim?
1066
00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:50,356
Stifler, come on.
Come on!
1067
00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:51,816
Let's go.
1068
00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:55,695
You and you,
stay here.
1069
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:57,405
Don't push me.
1070
00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:00,157
Whoa! Oh, my God.
1071
00:52:03,161 --> 00:52:04,203
Ah!
1072
00:52:04,288 --> 00:52:05,621
AJ: Kara, where
the hell are you?
1073
00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:07,498
I'm on my way to
your place and...
1074
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,211
What the...
1075
00:52:12,296 --> 00:52:13,337
Fuck!
1076
00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:18,593
(WHOOPING)
1077
00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:20,469
What the hell
is going on?
1078
00:52:21,388 --> 00:52:23,014
Oh, God!
1079
00:52:25,183 --> 00:52:26,350
(YAWNS)
1080
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:37,528
Hey, stud.
1081
00:52:37,696 --> 00:52:39,530
I thought you'd never...
1082
00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,532
(SNORING)
1083
00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:46,704
(FARTS)
1084
00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:48,873
(SIGHS)
1085
00:53:00,636 --> 00:53:04,805
Oh, shit, shit.
We were supposed to...
1086
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:05,973
No, it's fine.
1087
00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:08,059
What? No, God,
it's not fine.
1088
00:53:09,102 --> 00:53:12,104
Shoot! I'm so sorry,
Michelle. I really...
I wanted to, I just...
1089
00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:14,315
I'm going to drop
Ev at my grandma's
1090
00:53:14,399 --> 00:53:16,400
and I'll be back
this afternoon.
1091
00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:18,527
No, Michelle, hold on.
1092
00:53:22,407 --> 00:53:23,866
Jim, I'm worried.
1093
00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:26,535
What are you
worried about?
1094
00:53:26,703 --> 00:53:30,539
Just we're like
so out of sync.
1095
00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:34,251
I just...
1096
00:53:34,419 --> 00:53:36,921
I don't know how much longer
we can go on like this.
1097
00:53:39,424 --> 00:53:43,636
I promise you I will
do everything I can
to make it up to you.
1098
00:53:43,971 --> 00:53:45,262
Okay?
1099
00:53:45,430 --> 00:53:47,056
Stifler's having
a party tonight.
1100
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:52,687
Okay,
I know that doesn't sound
romantic or anything,
1101
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:58,275
but remember our first time
was at a Stifler party.
1102
00:53:58,443 --> 00:53:59,986
You made me
your bitch.
1103
00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:04,991
Yes. Yes, I did.
1104
00:54:24,511 --> 00:54:26,012
Tell me when, okay?
1105
00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:27,596
What the fuck?
1106
00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:28,889
(GASPS)
1107
00:54:36,982 --> 00:54:38,315
WOMAN: Mmm.
1108
00:54:43,321 --> 00:54:44,613
(MOUTHS)
1109
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:57,460
So, Mia.
1110
00:54:58,462 --> 00:55:01,505
She's a free spirit.
1111
00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:03,174
She's something else.
1112
00:55:03,341 --> 00:55:04,842
Yeah, she is.
1113
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:09,680
Wait a minute, do I sense
a little jealousy there?
1114
00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:11,348
No. Mmm-mmm.
No?
1115
00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:13,768
Hey, don't forget,
you were the one
who broke up with me
1116
00:55:13,852 --> 00:55:15,144
before you went
to med school.
1117
00:55:15,228 --> 00:55:19,398
Hey, you were moving to LA
with no return in sight.
1118
00:55:19,566 --> 00:55:22,026
You can't blame me for
wanting to settle down.
1119
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:24,528
No, I don't.
1120
00:55:25,363 --> 00:55:28,115
I just don't
want you to settle.
1121
00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:30,910
Look who's jealous now.
1122
00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:33,871
I wouldn't call being
with Ron "settling."
1123
00:55:34,039 --> 00:55:36,540
Oh, no, he's
gorgeous on paper.
1124
00:55:36,917 --> 00:55:38,334
What is that
supposed to mean?
1125
00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:40,419
Nothing. Um...
1126
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:44,673
I'm sorry. You're right.
1127
00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:48,052
I am a bit jealous.
1128
00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:51,222
You know, it's funny.
1129
00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:55,726
ln some ways, you've
completely changed,
1130
00:55:55,894 --> 00:55:58,854
and, in other ways,
you're exactly the same.
1131
00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:01,065
Heather,
you can believe this,
1132
00:56:01,233 --> 00:56:02,733
nothing's changed.
1133
00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:06,237
Oh, my God.
1134
00:56:06,404 --> 00:56:08,030
Chris Ostreicher?
1135
00:56:08,573 --> 00:56:09,740
Hi, girls.
1136
00:56:09,825 --> 00:56:10,950
Can I get a pic?
1137
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:12,201
Sure.
1138
00:56:17,874 --> 00:56:18,916
Dad?
1139
00:56:20,627 --> 00:56:21,919
Oh, hey, Dad.
Hey, Jim.
1140
00:56:22,087 --> 00:56:23,712
I'm just going to
run out for a sec.
1141
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,715
I was just watching
your old Bar Mitzvah tape.
1142
00:56:28,593 --> 00:56:30,136
(LAUGHING) I got
your Jew scarf!
1143
00:56:30,303 --> 00:56:31,929
YOUNG JIM:
Give it back, Stifler.
1144
00:56:32,055 --> 00:56:33,264
(LAUGHS)
1145
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:40,146
I think I'm the
happiest man in the
world thanks to you.
1146
00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,653
Yeah, I miss her too, Dad.
1147
00:56:49,656 --> 00:56:50,823
I know.
1148
00:56:53,034 --> 00:56:54,577
(SIGHS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
1149
00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:03,127
Dad, you've always been
there to give me advice.
1150
00:57:03,461 --> 00:57:07,131
But if there's anything
that you want to talk about,
1151
00:57:08,466 --> 00:57:09,967
I'm here for you.
1152
00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:13,971
Yeah, I don't think
there's anything
1153
00:57:14,055 --> 00:57:16,473
I really need
to talk about, Jim.
1154
00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:20,477
Do you think maybe
it's time for you to
1155
00:57:20,937 --> 00:57:22,313
meet someone else?
1156
00:57:23,481 --> 00:57:25,524
Dad, it's okay.
1157
00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:29,820
What you're going through
is perfectly natural.
1158
00:57:30,739 --> 00:57:33,532
You know, there are
services out there...
1159
00:57:33,700 --> 00:57:34,742
Services?
Yeah.
1160
00:57:34,826 --> 00:57:36,035
Like what?
1161
00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:37,995
A happy ending?
What's that?
1162
00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:39,205
Because
I won't go there.
1163
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:40,289
Oh, my God.
1164
00:57:40,415 --> 00:57:42,416
I don't need that...
I don't need that
kind of massage, Jim.
1165
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:43,584
That's not what I was...
1166
00:57:43,668 --> 00:57:45,252
Because, you know what,
it's dangerous.
1167
00:57:45,337 --> 00:57:46,795
And you can
pick things up.
1168
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,756
You don't even
wanna know what
you can pick up.
1169
00:57:48,924 --> 00:57:50,424
Talk to your uncle Mort.
I'd rather not.
1170
00:57:50,508 --> 00:57:51,717
He was in the hospital
for two weeks.
1171
00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:53,260
That's disgusting.
1172
00:57:56,514 --> 00:57:59,016
I was talking about
(CLEARS THROAT)
1173
00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:01,310
online dating services.
1174
00:58:01,603 --> 00:58:02,603
(CHUCKLING)
1175
00:58:03,021 --> 00:58:04,063
No, Jim.
1176
00:58:04,231 --> 00:58:07,274
Yeah, right, at my age?
I don't think so.
1177
00:58:07,442 --> 00:58:09,443
I've been out of
the game for so long.
1178
00:58:09,527 --> 00:58:11,028
There wasn't even
a game back then.
1179
00:58:11,112 --> 00:58:15,115
Dad, don't worry.
I'll hook you up.
1180
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:21,664
JIM: Do you have
those photos?
1181
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,624
Here you go.
1182
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:24,959
Wow.
1183
00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:26,210
Yeah.
Oh.
1184
00:58:26,378 --> 00:58:27,628
We might need something
a little more recent.
1185
00:58:27,712 --> 00:58:28,712
Do you think?
1186
00:58:30,382 --> 00:58:33,467
Do you have something
that's a bit sexier?
1187
00:58:34,302 --> 00:58:35,511
Gotcha.
1188
00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:40,599
Did you...
1189
00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:42,434
(CLEARS THROAT)
Favorite music.
1190
00:58:42,727 --> 00:58:43,727
Um...
1191
00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:45,354
Herman's Hermits.
1192
00:58:45,730 --> 00:58:46,730
Okay.
1193
00:58:47,565 --> 00:58:48,524
Oh...
1194
00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,568
Girls, one at
a time, please.
1195
00:58:51,903 --> 00:58:53,070
JIM: Interests
and hobbies.
1196
00:58:53,238 --> 00:58:54,321
Sudoku.
1197
00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:55,572
We'll come back
to this one.
1198
00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:04,498
LEVENSTEIN:
Are we sure we're not
taking off too much?
1199
00:59:04,666 --> 00:59:07,376
These caterpillars are
kind of my trademark.
1200
00:59:07,711 --> 00:59:08,711
(LEVENSTEIN GRUNTS)
1201
00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:11,922
Okay... Perfect.
1202
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:14,508
Take a look.
I'm nervous.
1203
00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:21,432
Oh, that's fantastic!
1204
00:59:21,599 --> 00:59:24,601
That is a great
look for me!
1205
00:59:24,853 --> 00:59:25,853
Huh?
1206
00:59:25,937 --> 00:59:29,565
Leaner lines.
I still have mobility.
1207
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:32,526
Why didn't I do
this 30 years ago?
1208
00:59:32,610 --> 00:59:33,610
Looking good.
1209
00:59:33,778 --> 00:59:35,738
Why don't we test this
new look out tonight?
1210
00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:37,072
Oh, um...
1211
00:59:37,449 --> 00:59:40,826
The thing is, Stifler is
throwing a party tonight.
1212
00:59:41,119 --> 00:59:42,953
Oh! Well, another time.
1213
00:59:43,121 --> 00:59:45,331
But you could
come with us.
1214
00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:47,124
lt would be nice to
get out of the house.
1215
00:59:47,292 --> 00:59:48,834
I do have to
warn you, though,
1216
00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:52,254
Stifler's parties
can get a little
1217
00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:53,589
wild.
1218
00:59:54,632 --> 00:59:56,633
(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
1219
00:59:58,428 --> 00:59:59,845
(INDISTINCT)
1220
01:00:05,810 --> 01:00:09,188
What the fuck is this?
1221
01:00:10,023 --> 01:00:12,024
Who the hell
changed the music?
1222
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:14,485
Sorry, we thought this
was more baby-friendly.
1223
01:00:14,652 --> 01:00:17,446
Didn't we?
Yes, we did.
1224
01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:19,323
Stifmeister!
1225
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:21,533
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
1226
01:00:21,993 --> 01:00:23,118
(SPITS)
Oh!
1227
01:00:23,203 --> 01:00:24,203
Bluck!
1228
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:25,829
Chester!
1229
01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:30,626
What have you
cock-smokers
been up to?
1230
01:00:30,794 --> 01:00:33,087
Well, we just got engaged.
Yeah.
1231
01:00:33,254 --> 01:00:35,756
What?
That's so fucking gay.
1232
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,885
Yeah, Stifler,
we are gay.
1233
01:00:40,386 --> 01:00:41,804
Half the lacrosse
team was gay.
1234
01:00:41,888 --> 01:00:44,014
You must have
known that, right?
1235
01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:46,683
Dude, you walked
in on Doug and Barry
in the shower.
1236
01:00:48,019 --> 01:00:49,728
I just thought
they were wrestling.
1237
01:00:50,230 --> 01:00:51,230
They were.
1238
01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:52,815
Yeah,
they definitely were.
1239
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:55,025
There just wasn't
a loser that night.
1240
01:00:56,486 --> 01:00:57,486
Oh.
1241
01:01:01,866 --> 01:01:03,909
Are we sure
this is Stifler's?
1242
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:05,494
Ooh!
1243
01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:06,912
Hors d'oeuvres!
1244
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,664
Why don't you give
this to our host, son?
1245
01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:11,708
Hmm.
1246
01:01:12,377 --> 01:01:14,711
Oh, my God!
Look who it is.
1247
01:01:14,796 --> 01:01:15,921
Hey.
1248
01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:19,424
Sorry for interrupting
you guys last night.
1249
01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:21,760
Bravo, by the way.
1250
01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:24,680
Most wives stop doing that
after they get the ring.
1251
01:01:24,848 --> 01:01:26,682
What are you talking about?
Did you change
your hair color?
1252
01:01:26,850 --> 01:01:32,229
So, is your buddy,
the other MILF guy,
here tonight?
1253
01:01:32,397 --> 01:01:34,189
I thought you always come
to these things together.
1254
01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:39,069
Let's just say
that friendship is
a two-way street.
1255
01:01:40,613 --> 01:01:42,114
Excuse me.
1256
01:01:44,284 --> 01:01:45,284
Mmm.
1257
01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:47,452
Could this party
get any lamer?
1258
01:01:48,454 --> 01:01:50,080
It's not so bad.
1259
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:53,250
You want some E?
1260
01:01:53,418 --> 01:01:55,127
No. Why do you
have that?
1261
01:01:55,587 --> 01:01:57,963
No one else here
probably has any.
1262
01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,131
Are you sure you
don't want one?
1263
01:01:59,299 --> 01:02:00,299
Yeah.
1264
01:02:00,466 --> 01:02:01,592
No... Yes.
1265
01:02:01,676 --> 01:02:02,676
No.
1266
01:02:02,802 --> 01:02:04,970
Okay. Fine.
More for me, then.
1267
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,852
And there they are.
1268
01:02:12,020 --> 01:02:13,187
JIM: Finchy.
1269
01:02:14,230 --> 01:02:17,733
There you guys are.
Look around.
Can you believe this shit?
1270
01:02:17,901 --> 01:02:19,693
Yeah, man. Nice work.
1271
01:02:19,861 --> 01:02:21,278
For you.
1272
01:02:21,362 --> 01:02:23,113
What the hell
am I supposed
to do with this?
1273
01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:24,740
That's called wine,
Stifler.
1274
01:02:24,908 --> 01:02:26,533
No, no, no, no,
not at my party.
1275
01:02:26,618 --> 01:02:27,910
I'm going to
get us some shots.
1276
01:02:29,329 --> 01:02:30,370
Hey, Kev.
1277
01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,039
Can I talk to you
guys for a sec?
1278
01:02:32,373 --> 01:02:34,374
Yeah, sure. Wait here,
I'll be right back.
1279
01:02:36,544 --> 01:02:38,086
So, you brought
the goods?
1280
01:02:38,296 --> 01:02:39,546
Right here.
1281
01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:41,256
I want to see.
1282
01:02:43,718 --> 01:02:46,720
What the...
Where did those
fuckers go?
1283
01:02:47,055 --> 01:02:48,055
Hello, Steven.
1284
01:02:48,598 --> 01:02:50,390
Mr. Levenstein.
Yes.
1285
01:02:50,475 --> 01:02:51,558
You made it.
1286
01:02:51,726 --> 01:02:54,353
lt is so great to see
all you kids back in town.
1287
01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:55,479
Hmm.
1288
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:58,941
And what a terrific soiree
you're throwing here tonight.
1289
01:02:59,108 --> 01:03:00,943
Just wonderful!
1290
01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:04,780
You know what?
I'm going to
get you fucked up.
1291
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:06,156
Hmm?
Have a shot.
1292
01:03:06,324 --> 01:03:07,908
Oh! No, no, no.
1293
01:03:08,076 --> 01:03:11,453
I don't think so, Steven.
I'm not much of a drinker.
1294
01:03:11,621 --> 01:03:13,580
Drink it.
Drink it! Drink it!
No, I can't.
1295
01:03:13,748 --> 01:03:15,165
Drink it! Drink it!
1296
01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:18,335
Awesome!
Let's do another one.
1297
01:03:18,419 --> 01:03:19,586
(STRAINED)
I don't think so.
1298
01:03:19,671 --> 01:03:22,005
Look, Kev, you don't
know for sure
if anything happened.
1299
01:03:22,090 --> 01:03:25,425
I woke up next to her in bed,
and all our clothes were off.
1300
01:03:25,593 --> 01:03:28,262
I mean, whatever happened,
I feel guilty.
1301
01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:30,097
Kevin, in France,
1302
01:03:30,265 --> 01:03:33,934
it's only considered
cheating if your wife
catches you in the act.
1303
01:03:36,104 --> 01:03:37,104
(LAUGHING)
1304
01:03:37,313 --> 01:03:38,313
She's here.
1305
01:03:40,608 --> 01:03:42,025
I gotta go.
1306
01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:43,944
All right, get ready.
1307
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:46,571
Wait for it.
Wait for it!
1308
01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:47,698
Wait for it!
1309
01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:49,324
Here she comes!
1310
01:03:49,742 --> 01:03:50,784
Yeah!
1311
01:03:50,868 --> 01:03:52,619
Fuck yeah,
Mr. Levenstein!
1312
01:03:52,787 --> 01:03:54,913
The name is Noah,
motherfucker.
1313
01:03:54,998 --> 01:03:56,498
(ALL CHEERING)
1314
01:03:58,126 --> 01:03:59,126
Mmm.
1315
01:03:59,294 --> 01:04:00,627
Feel the sofa.
1316
01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:03,463
It's so smooth.
1317
01:04:03,965 --> 01:04:06,800
lt feels like
a Smurf's ass.
1318
01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:08,302
Did you feel it?
1319
01:04:08,469 --> 01:04:11,513
Okay.
Mia, can you...
1320
01:04:13,016 --> 01:04:14,975
Hey, guys.
Sorry we're late.
1321
01:04:15,184 --> 01:04:16,184
Hi.
1322
01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:20,314
Hey, I got a treat
for everybody.
I picked something up.
1323
01:04:20,481 --> 01:04:23,150
Celebrity Dance Off,
Season Six. My man,
Chris Ostreicher.
1324
01:04:23,234 --> 01:04:24,234
Oh, my God.
1325
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:28,864
We have to
watch this.
1326
01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:31,700
Who wants to see my
baby shake his booty?
1327
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:33,243
(ALL CLAMORING IN AGREEMENT)
1328
01:04:33,328 --> 01:04:34,786
I know I do.
1329
01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:37,289
JDate? You have
to be kidding me.
1330
01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:40,709
If you want quality
vag, you have to go
out into the wild.
1331
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,127
"Vag"?
1332
01:04:43,004 --> 01:04:44,838
What is that,
a half a vagina?
1333
01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:49,176
You know, in my day
we called it a beaver.
1334
01:04:49,344 --> 01:04:53,180
And let me tell you something,
I snagged a pelt or two.
1335
01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,389
I bet you did.
1336
01:04:54,515 --> 01:04:55,515
Dad?
1337
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,018
Hey, Jim, your dad
is so much cooler
than you.
1338
01:04:58,102 --> 01:04:59,770
Stifler, please stop
getting my dad drunk.
1339
01:04:59,854 --> 01:05:02,189
No, he's just trying
to get me some vag.
1340
01:05:02,273 --> 01:05:03,273
Okay, come on.
1341
01:05:03,358 --> 01:05:05,025
Yeah! Hey, hey.
1342
01:05:05,193 --> 01:05:06,860
Let the man make
his own decisions.
1343
01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:08,070
Stop. Come on.
1344
01:05:08,154 --> 01:05:09,154
Don't listen to him.
1345
01:05:09,822 --> 01:05:12,157
I want you to dust off
that old dick of yours,
1346
01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:14,326
go out there,
and get some ass.
1347
01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:15,660
Oh!
Just go out there.
1348
01:05:15,745 --> 01:05:16,870
I think I will.
1349
01:05:17,038 --> 01:05:19,831
Dad, stop, okay?
It's exactly what
I'm gonna...
1350
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,584
I'm sorry, but you have
had a little too much
to drink tonight,
1351
01:05:22,710 --> 01:05:23,960
and I'm not
letting you...
No, no.
1352
01:05:24,045 --> 01:05:27,422
No, son, I haven't
hardly had one drink.
1353
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:29,883
And you know
I love you.
1354
01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:34,262
I do love you,
but you need to
1355
01:05:34,597 --> 01:05:35,597
(BURPS)
1356
01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:36,681
chillax.
1357
01:05:37,266 --> 01:05:39,351
"Chillax"?
Dad, where are you going?
1358
01:05:39,435 --> 01:05:40,894
Do you see him?
Jim! Jim!
1359
01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:42,729
Let him go.
Let him have some fun.
1360
01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:43,814
(SIGHS)
1361
01:05:43,898 --> 01:05:47,567
And now we can
have some fun.
1362
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:49,778
Come on.
1363
01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:53,031
Excuse me.
1364
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:55,075
I'm sorry,
excuse me.
1365
01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:56,326
ls this a washroom?
1366
01:05:57,787 --> 01:05:59,830
lt doesn't even occur to you
that you're self-centered
1367
01:05:59,914 --> 01:06:02,833
because you are so
self-centered and...
1368
01:06:02,917 --> 01:06:04,793
You know what?
Hold on a second.
1369
01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:07,879
Can I help you?
1370
01:06:09,423 --> 01:06:10,799
Who might you be?
1371
01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:12,592
I'm Stifler's mom.
1372
01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:14,094
Oh.
1373
01:06:14,637 --> 01:06:16,429
I'm Jim's dad.
1374
01:06:17,765 --> 01:06:19,266
Later, fucker.
1375
01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:24,354
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1376
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:41,246
Oh, my God, this is
the most ridiculous
thing I've ever seen.
1377
01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:45,375
(SHOUTING)
1378
01:06:45,459 --> 01:06:46,459
(ALL CHEERING)
1379
01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:50,589
Dude, you have
an amazing body!
1380
01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:55,135
Everybody, raise the roof
for Chris Ostreicher!
1381
01:06:55,219 --> 01:06:57,220
You have really
been bringing it
all season long.
1382
01:06:57,305 --> 01:07:01,808
But now it's time,
Chris, to see if America
thinks you done brought it.
1383
01:07:02,476 --> 01:07:03,894
You ready?
Let's do it.
1384
01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:04,978
Let's see the results.
1385
01:07:09,817 --> 01:07:11,026
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIM
IN DISAPPOINTMENT)
1386
01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:13,820
What?
Gilbert Gottfried
and not you?
1387
01:07:13,988 --> 01:07:15,113
Fucking bullshit!
1388
01:07:15,281 --> 01:07:17,407
Chris, I'm so sorry, man.
1389
01:07:17,575 --> 01:07:22,162
Well, we saw you jam.
Now, it's time to scram.
1390
01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:24,414
Do you have any
last thoughts
for the audience?
1391
01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:27,083
Okay, guys, we can
probably end it there.
1392
01:07:27,251 --> 01:07:29,502
What? No, are you kidding?
I haven't seen this.
1393
01:07:29,670 --> 01:07:32,005
I think what
I've learned
is to be true
1394
01:07:32,089 --> 01:07:33,173
to myself,
1395
01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:36,343
because that's what
dancing is, it's truth.
1396
01:07:36,510 --> 01:07:38,595
And maybe,
1397
01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:42,015
if we just danced
a little bit more,
1398
01:07:42,183 --> 01:07:45,560
there would be
no more wars.
1399
01:07:46,270 --> 01:07:47,354
(SNICKERING)
1400
01:07:47,438 --> 01:07:48,855
No more war!
1401
01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:51,233
Well, that is
a thoughtful take
on foreign policy.
1402
01:07:52,735 --> 01:07:55,237
HOST: Stick around.
Hulk Hogan gets jiggy-friggy,
right after this.
1403
01:07:55,404 --> 01:07:56,696
You don't want
to miss this.
Stick around.
1404
01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:00,116
(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)
1405
01:08:05,581 --> 01:08:06,748
Hey.
1406
01:08:07,124 --> 01:08:09,209
If you want my opinion,
I think you got cheated.
1407
01:08:11,295 --> 01:08:12,462
Are you okay?
1408
01:08:13,381 --> 01:08:15,048
You know,
1409
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:18,802
when you lose something
that's important to you,
it doesn't feel very good.
1410
01:08:19,428 --> 01:08:21,638
Oz, it's just a show.
1411
01:08:22,265 --> 01:08:24,808
I'm not talking
about the show.
1412
01:08:32,024 --> 01:08:33,900
RON: Hey, Heather,
you down there?
1413
01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:35,986
Um, coming!
1414
01:08:37,029 --> 01:08:38,405
Oh, my God.
1415
01:08:38,572 --> 01:08:39,864
Wait here,
I'll be right back.
1416
01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,702
I can't tell you
how many times I walked
into Steven's room
1417
01:08:43,869 --> 01:08:46,705
and I caught him
in the middle of
sex with some girl.
1418
01:08:46,872 --> 01:08:49,666
At least he was with
a real, live human girl.
1419
01:08:49,834 --> 01:08:51,042
What are you
talking about?
1420
01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:55,255
I walked into the kitchen
once, and I saw
Jim humping a pie.
1421
01:08:57,341 --> 01:09:00,969
He turned the damn
thing into a crumble
in about two seconds.
1422
01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:07,267
I can top that.
1423
01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:08,643
I once walked
into my bedroom
1424
01:09:08,728 --> 01:09:12,105
and I caught Steven
sticking my hairbrush
up his ass.
1425
01:09:15,860 --> 01:09:18,028
No, and it wasn't
the handle side, either.
1426
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:22,574
Oh!
1427
01:09:23,951 --> 01:09:26,286
No, no, no.
1428
01:09:27,788 --> 01:09:32,208
A pretty lady
like you shouldn't be
drinking quite so much.
1429
01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:34,336
And neither should I.
1430
01:09:40,968 --> 01:09:42,302
How about a joint, then?
1431
01:09:45,348 --> 01:09:49,476
We don't have to wait 13 years
to see each other again.
1432
01:09:49,643 --> 01:09:51,227
Yeah, true.
1433
01:09:51,395 --> 01:09:55,357
And I guess I could
come along on one
of your adventures.
1434
01:09:55,524 --> 01:09:58,401
Am I good
sidekick material?
1435
01:09:58,486 --> 01:09:59,527
Sidekick?
1436
01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:04,574
I think you are a lot more
than sidekick material.
1437
01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:12,165
ls everything okay?
1438
01:10:14,835 --> 01:10:16,836
It's better than ever.
1439
01:10:19,673 --> 01:10:20,715
Mmm.
Mmm.
1440
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:22,133
Okay, wait, wait.
1441
01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:26,137
I don't think we're
dressed appropriately
for the occasion.
1442
01:10:26,305 --> 01:10:27,847
Put that on.
1443
01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:29,349
Wait, where
are you going?
1444
01:10:29,433 --> 01:10:32,352
To change.
Be back soon.
1445
01:10:42,863 --> 01:10:44,072
Dudes!
1446
01:10:45,866 --> 01:10:47,450
BOTH: What's up, bro?
1447
01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:50,370
WOMAN: Big Stiffy?
1448
01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:52,622
Blowjob Lipstein.
1449
01:10:55,584 --> 01:10:58,378
Oh, you have to be
fucking kidding me!
1450
01:10:58,587 --> 01:10:59,712
Excuse me?
1451
01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:07,470
Okay.
1452
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:11,266
What the hell
are you doing? You just
expect me to blow you?
1453
01:11:11,350 --> 01:11:12,392
Yeah!
1454
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:13,935
I'm out of here.
1455
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:15,603
Wait. Wait, wait!
1456
01:11:15,771 --> 01:11:17,230
Look, I get it.
1457
01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:19,065
You're self-conscious
about your body.
1458
01:11:19,775 --> 01:11:22,610
Don't worry.
I was going to shut
the lights off anyway.
1459
01:11:22,778 --> 01:11:25,405
You are the same douchebag
that you were in high school.
1460
01:11:25,906 --> 01:11:29,617
You just expect me
to do everything
while I get nothing?
1461
01:11:29,785 --> 01:11:30,785
Later.
1462
01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:32,078
No, no!
1463
01:11:34,582 --> 01:11:35,790
(SIGHS)
1464
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:38,126
Let's make a deal.
1465
01:11:39,420 --> 01:11:42,797
I'll get you off,
you get me off.
1466
01:11:42,965 --> 01:11:44,841
What do you say?
1467
01:11:45,176 --> 01:11:46,426
Fine.
1468
01:11:47,094 --> 01:11:48,928
But I am putting
you to work.
1469
01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:50,680
Holy shit.
1470
01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:53,600
Chow time!
1471
01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:54,809
(GROANS)
1472
01:11:57,021 --> 01:11:58,897
(SIGHS)
There you are!
1473
01:11:58,981 --> 01:12:01,774
I've been looking
all over for you.
1474
01:12:01,942 --> 01:12:04,527
Listen, we really
need to...
1475
01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:07,780
What are you doing?
1476
01:12:07,948 --> 01:12:09,365
Taking what's mine.
1477
01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:11,075
(GROANING)
1478
01:12:11,952 --> 01:12:14,621
No, I just wanted to hear
the sound of your voice.
1479
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,457
Aw, is everything okay?
You seem stressed.
1480
01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:19,500
Stressed?
1481
01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:23,129
There you are!
1482
01:12:24,632 --> 01:12:26,674
No, no, no.
1483
01:12:26,842 --> 01:12:30,553
I have to go right now,
but I'll call you back
in a little bit.
1484
01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:33,973
Okay. And don't worry,
I won't watch Gossip Girl
without you.
1485
01:12:34,099 --> 01:12:35,058
I miss you, babe.
1486
01:12:35,142 --> 01:12:36,559
I miss you, too.
1487
01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:43,483
Listen, Vicky,
about last night,
1488
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:45,652
that wasn't me.
1489
01:12:45,819 --> 01:12:47,904
With what happened...
1490
01:12:48,572 --> 01:12:51,157
I don't know.
lt might be normal
in your world.
1491
01:12:51,325 --> 01:12:53,076
What do you
think happened?
1492
01:12:53,535 --> 01:12:55,870
Well, all our clothes
were on the floor.
1493
01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:57,330
Yeah, because
they were soaking wet
1494
01:12:57,414 --> 01:12:59,082
from when you got drunk
and fell in the lake.
1495
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,750
I took care of you.
1496
01:13:00,918 --> 01:13:03,753
So, we didn't
have sex?
1497
01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:05,046
Of course not.
1498
01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:07,674
Oh, thank God!
1499
01:13:10,094 --> 01:13:12,929
I'm glad you think
so highly of me.
1500
01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:15,014
No.
1501
01:13:15,516 --> 01:13:17,100
Vicky, wait.
1502
01:13:18,102 --> 01:13:21,187
MIA: Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God! (MOANING)
1503
01:13:21,355 --> 01:13:22,855
Mia, stop.
1504
01:13:24,525 --> 01:13:25,858
Oh, my God, yeah!
1505
01:13:26,026 --> 01:13:27,235
Mia, get off!
1506
01:13:27,319 --> 01:13:29,195
I'm about to!
I'm about to!
1507
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:30,280
(SCREAMING)
1508
01:13:31,448 --> 01:13:32,532
Heather.
1509
01:13:34,868 --> 01:13:35,910
What the hell?
1510
01:13:37,037 --> 01:13:38,705
You have something going on
with this skank?
1511
01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:42,875
Who are you
calling a skank,
you fucking bitch?
1512
01:13:43,419 --> 01:13:45,128
Whoa! Whoa!
(MIA SCREAMING)
1513
01:13:45,587 --> 01:13:46,754
Stop it! Stop!
1514
01:13:46,922 --> 01:13:47,922
Stop it!
1515
01:13:49,550 --> 01:13:51,301
Ow! What the fuck?
1516
01:13:51,468 --> 01:13:53,636
That's my extension,
you bitch!
1517
01:13:53,804 --> 01:13:55,430
You motherfucker!
1518
01:13:55,597 --> 01:13:57,849
No, Mia! Wait a minute!
1519
01:13:59,101 --> 01:14:02,061
By the way,
I fucked Mario Lopez!
1520
01:14:02,396 --> 01:14:04,439
(BONES CRACKING)
(GROANING)
1521
01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:07,442
Ooh...
1522
01:14:10,362 --> 01:14:12,989
Okay,
it's my turn now.
1523
01:14:13,157 --> 01:14:15,658
Uh-uh. Not this time.
1524
01:14:15,826 --> 01:14:17,577
Wait, what about our deal?
1525
01:14:17,745 --> 01:14:21,372
Now you know how it
feels, Big Stiffy.
1526
01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:29,881
Gross!
1527
01:14:36,055 --> 01:14:37,472
Fuckin' yuck!
1528
01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:48,191
(SNORING)
1529
01:14:53,781 --> 01:14:57,033
You didn't actually
think I'd fall asleep
again, did you?
1530
01:14:57,201 --> 01:14:59,035
As long as you're mine,
I'm happy.
1531
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,912
Jesus, Kara.
What are you doing here?
1532
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,247
Your creepy friend
invited me and
all my girlfriends.
1533
01:15:03,415 --> 01:15:05,792
Nice outfit, by the way.
Very kinky.
1534
01:15:06,668 --> 01:15:07,710
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Oh, shit.
1535
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:10,129
Don't worry. I locked it.
1536
01:15:12,716 --> 01:15:14,008
Oh, Jesus.
1537
01:15:17,638 --> 01:15:20,681
What the hell
kind of freaky shit
is going on in here?
1538
01:15:20,849 --> 01:15:22,100
AJ, what are you
doing here?
1539
01:15:22,267 --> 01:15:24,143
I followed you.
I had to see it
with my own eyes.
1540
01:15:24,311 --> 01:15:27,939
First you fuck
with my jet ski, then
you fuck my girlfriend?
1541
01:15:28,107 --> 01:15:30,358
No! God, no!
Nothing happened.
1542
01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:31,609
You're going down, Sandler.
1543
01:15:31,735 --> 01:15:33,194
Sandler? What the...
1544
01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:34,821
Jesus Christ!
1545
01:15:35,823 --> 01:15:36,823
(SPITS)
1546
01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,241
AJ: I'm going
to kill you!
1547
01:15:40,077 --> 01:15:42,245
Jim, what the fuck
are you wearing?
1548
01:15:42,413 --> 01:15:44,831
Hey, I can explain
everything! Jesus!
1549
01:15:45,624 --> 01:15:46,666
Come on!
Shit!
1550
01:15:46,792 --> 01:15:48,334
Get up, gimp!
1551
01:15:48,502 --> 01:15:50,503
Come on, I'm not
fighting you, okay?
1552
01:15:50,629 --> 01:15:52,171
This is silly.
I'm an adult.
1553
01:15:52,339 --> 01:15:53,381
Oh, really?
1554
01:15:53,507 --> 01:15:55,466
Because to me you look
like a little bitch pussy.
1555
01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:56,551
(BOYS LAUGHING)
1556
01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,386
Don't be a pussy, Jim.
1557
01:15:58,554 --> 01:16:01,139
Look, AJ, just
calm down, okay?
1558
01:16:01,306 --> 01:16:04,392
What makes you little fuckers
think you can crash one of
the Stifmeister's parties?
1559
01:16:05,102 --> 01:16:07,937
Did you just refer
to yourself as
"the Stifmeister"?
1560
01:16:08,105 --> 01:16:11,232
Because that's the
lamest name ever!
1561
01:16:11,608 --> 01:16:12,817
(PEOPLE JEERING)
1562
01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,945
I'm going to
fucking kill you.
1563
01:16:16,113 --> 01:16:17,071
Bring it on.
1564
01:16:17,156 --> 01:16:18,656
Hey, Steve,
come on, this is...
1565
01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:21,117
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1566
01:16:23,996 --> 01:16:25,997
Where do you think
you're going?
1567
01:16:30,752 --> 01:16:33,463
Don't mess with
the Class of '99, bitch!
1568
01:16:33,589 --> 01:16:34,589
(GROANS)
1569
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:35,840
Finch!
1570
01:16:36,508 --> 01:16:37,675
Don't hurt my friend!
1571
01:16:46,768 --> 01:16:47,768
(GROANING)
1572
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:53,608
Hey!
1573
01:16:53,901 --> 01:16:56,944
Get off my husband,
you little piece of shit!
1574
01:16:57,029 --> 01:16:59,280
(SIRENS WAILING)
1575
01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:07,330
(INDISTINCT CHATTER
ON POLICE RADIO)
1576
01:17:07,414 --> 01:17:08,748
(LAUGHING)
1577
01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:11,876
Oh, crap!
It's the fuzz!
1578
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:14,837
We have to get out.
How do you get out?
1579
01:17:15,047 --> 01:17:16,255
I need an escape route!
1580
01:17:16,423 --> 01:17:18,007
Oh, shit!
1581
01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:19,175
You want to be with him?
1582
01:17:19,259 --> 01:17:21,886
Fine!
He's all yours.
1583
01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:23,471
Come on, man!
1584
01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,850
Jim, what's going on?
1585
01:17:28,018 --> 01:17:30,061
I am so sorry for all
of this. I can explain.
1586
01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:33,064
Last night I ran into
Kara, our neighbor.
1587
01:17:33,273 --> 01:17:36,317
She was too drunk to drive,
so I drove her home.
1588
01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:41,280
And she started
taking off her clothes,
and touching my...
1589
01:17:41,615 --> 01:17:45,034
Okay, I know it doesn't
sound good, but nothing
happened, okay?
1590
01:17:45,202 --> 01:17:47,286
I don't care
about her at all!
1591
01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:49,997
Thanks a lot.
1592
01:17:50,415 --> 01:17:52,917
No, no, Kara, wait.
I didn't mean...
1593
01:17:53,085 --> 01:17:54,794
Wait, Michelle.
Hold on, hold on.
1594
01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:56,379
It's not what
you think, okay?
1595
01:17:56,546 --> 01:18:01,050
I swear,
I was just trying to do
the right thing, and I...
1596
01:18:01,134 --> 01:18:03,761
(SIGHS) You have
to believe me,
Michelle, please.
1597
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:07,807
Whether I believe
you or not,
1598
01:18:08,016 --> 01:18:09,392
I'm disappointed.
1599
01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:12,270
I'm going to stay
with my grandmother.
1600
01:18:12,437 --> 01:18:13,437
Hold it, Michelle.
1601
01:18:13,522 --> 01:18:14,522
No, Jim.
1602
01:18:15,148 --> 01:18:16,691
Hey, the fight's
over, guys.
1603
01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:18,276
We're not here
to stop a fight.
1604
01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:20,861
We're here about
that stolen motorcycle.
1605
01:18:21,029 --> 01:18:22,697
Looks like the VIN
numbers match up.
1606
01:18:22,864 --> 01:18:24,115
Paul Finch.
1607
01:18:24,283 --> 01:18:26,033
You're under arrest.
1608
01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:28,619
Awesome!
1609
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:30,121
KEVIN:
Excuse me, officer.
1610
01:18:30,205 --> 01:18:34,750
He won that bike betting
on the World Cup in Argentina.
You made some sort of mistake.
1611
01:18:34,835 --> 01:18:36,794
Paul, what's going on?
What is this about?
1612
01:18:37,087 --> 01:18:38,254
Paul.
1613
01:18:38,422 --> 01:18:39,714
Finch, just tell them.
1614
01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:41,048
Paul!
1615
01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:45,803
STIFLER: Hey, shitbreak,
when you're getting rammed
by your cellmate tonight,
1616
01:18:45,971 --> 01:18:47,096
think of Kevin.
1617
01:18:51,143 --> 01:18:53,144
Michelle, can I just...
Please!
1618
01:18:57,065 --> 01:18:58,107
Oh!
1619
01:18:58,859 --> 01:18:59,900
Ah!
1620
01:19:00,777 --> 01:19:02,028
Dad?
Ah!
1621
01:19:02,904 --> 01:19:04,613
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1622
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:07,575
Dad?
1623
01:19:08,493 --> 01:19:09,910
Dad, what are you doing?
1624
01:19:10,078 --> 01:19:12,830
You didn't see me!
I'm not here!
1625
01:19:12,998 --> 01:19:14,165
I'm not here!
1626
01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:16,917
ls he all right?
1627
01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:19,253
I don't know.
1628
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:21,255
What are we going
to do about Finch?
1629
01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:23,674
Fuck Finch. Let him
spend the night in jail.
1630
01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,051
Come on, Stifler!
1631
01:19:25,135 --> 01:19:26,344
Some friend you are.
1632
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:30,139
What about you guys?
1633
01:19:30,349 --> 01:19:33,392
You don't call me,
you don't e-mail,
1634
01:19:33,477 --> 01:19:35,603
you don't comment
on my Facebook page.
1635
01:19:35,687 --> 01:19:37,980
You guys didn't even
let me know you were
coming back for the reunion.
1636
01:19:38,148 --> 01:19:41,442
Because we knew, somehow,
you would find
a way to screw things up.
1637
01:19:41,943 --> 01:19:43,611
Oh, I'm sorry, Jim.
1638
01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,363
I wanted us to have
a fucking fun time
1639
01:19:45,447 --> 01:19:46,947
this weekend,
like we did in high school.
1640
01:19:47,115 --> 01:19:49,116
But we're not in
high school anymore.
1641
01:19:49,284 --> 01:19:50,785
You are so trapped
in the past, Stifler.
1642
01:19:50,952 --> 01:19:53,996
When are you going to realize
that things will never be
the way they used to be?
1643
01:19:54,706 --> 01:19:55,956
(SCOFFS)
1644
01:20:01,129 --> 01:20:02,338
Fine.
1645
01:20:03,548 --> 01:20:05,341
Guess the party's over.
1646
01:20:07,636 --> 01:20:08,886
Dicks.
1647
01:20:12,849 --> 01:20:14,100
(SIGHS)
1648
01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:43,712
Well, that was
a great party.
1649
01:20:44,172 --> 01:20:46,549
I honestly think
I had fun.
1650
01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:51,220
Well, that makes
one of us.
1651
01:20:53,557 --> 01:20:54,890
Have you heard
from Michelle?
1652
01:20:55,058 --> 01:20:58,310
No. She doesn't
want to talk to me.
1653
01:20:58,603 --> 01:21:00,396
What about
the reunion tonight?
1654
01:21:00,480 --> 01:21:02,606
She said she may
or may not come.
1655
01:21:02,774 --> 01:21:04,567
What's going on
with you two?
1656
01:21:04,734 --> 01:21:06,277
Jim, is there anything
you want to talk about?
1657
01:21:07,529 --> 01:21:09,071
(CLEARS THROAT)
1658
01:21:10,323 --> 01:21:11,490
Okay.
1659
01:21:12,242 --> 01:21:13,367
Um...
1660
01:21:14,578 --> 01:21:17,163
How often
1661
01:21:17,330 --> 01:21:20,666
did you and Mom...
1662
01:21:23,837 --> 01:21:25,129
You know?
1663
01:21:25,213 --> 01:21:27,298
ls that what
this is about?
1664
01:21:27,382 --> 01:21:29,216
You and Michelle
haven't been...
1665
01:21:29,384 --> 01:21:31,218
Not lately, no.
1666
01:21:31,303 --> 01:21:32,344
Oh...
1667
01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:36,724
ls it
1668
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,392
an erectile problem?
1669
01:21:39,227 --> 01:21:43,564
Because sometimes you
can buy a little time
1670
01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:45,024
with a well-placed thumb.
1671
01:21:45,108 --> 01:21:46,984
Oh, God.
I'm just saying.
1672
01:21:47,068 --> 01:21:48,944
I don't think that's it.
That's not it?
1673
01:21:49,237 --> 01:21:54,033
Oh! That's something
to keep in your back pocket,
because that's a no-fail.
1674
01:21:54,201 --> 01:21:55,868
Okay, let's be
done with that.
1675
01:21:56,036 --> 01:21:59,455
No, things in that
department were fine.
1676
01:22:00,665 --> 01:22:02,750
And then Evan was born
1677
01:22:02,959 --> 01:22:05,836
and we kind of stopped.
1678
01:22:06,087 --> 01:22:09,924
And they haven't
really picked up
since, you know?
1679
01:22:10,717 --> 01:22:13,969
This is not a problem,
so do not worry.
1680
01:22:14,095 --> 01:22:15,930
You understand?
Yeah, listen, Jim.
1681
01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:17,556
Before you were born,
1682
01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:20,601
your mother and I,
we would do it every day.
1683
01:22:20,685 --> 01:22:21,685
I don't need this.
1684
01:22:21,770 --> 01:22:24,104
Sometimes two or
three times a day.
1685
01:22:24,189 --> 01:22:27,775
This is back in the '70s.
A lot of experimentation
was going on.
1686
01:22:27,984 --> 01:22:32,696
Your mother favored
something she called,
"diving for dollars."
1687
01:22:32,948 --> 01:22:35,824
Holy shit. I'm sorry,
I don't need...
1688
01:22:35,909 --> 01:22:38,285
(CLEARS THROAT)
That's fine, we can...
1689
01:22:38,453 --> 01:22:39,703
I don't have to
go on with that.
1690
01:22:39,788 --> 01:22:45,251
But my point is,
when you have a kid,
you become a dad and a mom.
1691
01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:49,838
But it's very important
not to stop being
a husband and a wife.
1692
01:22:50,423 --> 01:22:53,968
And if you do that,
the sex will come.
1693
01:22:56,054 --> 01:22:57,513
That actually
makes a lot of sense.
1694
01:22:57,681 --> 01:23:01,058
But you can't just
wait for the two
of you to be alone.
1695
01:23:01,226 --> 01:23:04,687
You have to make
your own alone time.
1696
01:23:04,896 --> 01:23:08,565
Why do you think you
went to Hebrew school
three times a week?
1697
01:23:08,733 --> 01:23:12,736
Sundays, noon to three?
Tuesdays, four to seven?
1698
01:23:12,862 --> 01:23:14,154
Okay, I get it, Dad.
1699
01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:16,448
If you get it,
then why the questions?
1700
01:23:16,616 --> 01:23:17,700
I'm sorry.
1701
01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:19,868
You're going
through this, I am sorry.
I should be listening.
1702
01:23:20,036 --> 01:23:23,038
No, I'm overreacting.
I'm sorry.
1703
01:23:26,876 --> 01:23:28,585
(SIGHS) Thank you.
1704
01:23:29,129 --> 01:23:31,046
Again. Really.
1705
01:23:34,467 --> 01:23:35,718
Anytime.
1706
01:23:40,557 --> 01:23:42,141
Welcome, you guys.
1707
01:23:42,225 --> 01:23:45,769
Listen, find your nametag,
find out what table
you're sitting at.
1708
01:23:45,854 --> 01:23:48,105
Ashley, so good to see you!
Oh, my God.
1709
01:23:48,273 --> 01:23:51,317
Billy! Oh, my God,
you're looking so svelte.
1710
01:23:51,484 --> 01:23:54,611
You used to be morbidly obese.
I was concerned.
1711
01:23:54,696 --> 01:23:55,779
KEVIN: Hey.
1712
01:23:55,864 --> 01:23:56,947
Hey, guys.
1713
01:23:57,032 --> 01:23:58,699
Hey, Jim.
Oz.
1714
01:23:58,992 --> 01:24:00,159
Where is Mia?
1715
01:24:00,243 --> 01:24:02,369
She flew out
this morning.
1716
01:24:02,537 --> 01:24:04,872
Oh. I'm sorry, man.
1717
01:24:05,707 --> 01:24:06,749
What about Michelle?
1718
01:24:08,001 --> 01:24:09,877
I am not sure yet.
1719
01:24:10,587 --> 01:24:11,879
ALL: Finch!
1720
01:24:12,088 --> 01:24:15,424
What happened?
I called the police
department a thousand times.
1721
01:24:15,508 --> 01:24:20,387
I appreciate that, Kevin.
But my mom,
actually, bailed me out.
1722
01:24:22,140 --> 01:24:23,640
Guys, I screwed up.
1723
01:24:23,808 --> 01:24:25,893
That bike belongs
to my boss.
1724
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:30,397
And I was promised a raise,
and I didn't get it, so I
1725
01:24:30,523 --> 01:24:31,774
simply borrowed it.
1726
01:24:32,567 --> 01:24:35,069
The truth is that my life
isn't interesting at all.
1727
01:24:35,570 --> 01:24:39,573
I am an assistant manager
at a Staples in Bayonne,
New Jersey.
1728
01:24:39,824 --> 01:24:43,035
I lied to my best friends,
and I'm sorry.
1729
01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:47,539
You know, Finch,
just because you sold out
1730
01:24:47,624 --> 01:24:50,626
and got a boring job
like most of us,
1731
01:24:50,710 --> 01:24:52,336
that doesn't mean you
should be embarrassed.
1732
01:24:52,420 --> 01:24:55,005
Yeah, come on, man.
None of that shit matters.
1733
01:24:56,091 --> 01:24:57,341
That means a lot,
gentlemen.
1734
01:24:57,509 --> 01:24:58,884
What about your arm?
1735
01:24:58,968 --> 01:24:59,968
Oh.
1736
01:25:01,596 --> 01:25:04,348
I spilled coffee
on myself while
I was driving.
1737
01:25:04,516 --> 01:25:05,682
No.
(CHUCKLES)
1738
01:25:06,434 --> 01:25:08,102
lt hurt like
a bitch, though.
1739
01:25:08,228 --> 01:25:11,063
I'll bet.
Jesus, Finch.
1740
01:25:11,439 --> 01:25:13,857
Oh, hey,
check this out,
you guys.
1741
01:25:15,193 --> 01:25:17,277
Crazy, huh?
Look at us.
1742
01:25:17,445 --> 01:25:18,612
OZ: A lot of memories.
1743
01:25:20,615 --> 01:25:22,241
"Steve Stifler.
1744
01:25:23,201 --> 01:25:26,120
"Hopes to keep the party
going with his boys."
1745
01:25:27,872 --> 01:25:28,956
(CLICKS TONGUE)
1746
01:25:30,083 --> 01:25:31,834
Any sign of him yet?
1747
01:25:32,001 --> 01:25:33,710
I don't think
he's going to show.
1748
01:25:33,795 --> 01:25:34,962
(SIGHS)
1749
01:25:49,269 --> 01:25:50,477
Stifler?
1750
01:25:54,566 --> 01:25:55,649
How'd you find me?
1751
01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:57,151
We asked your mom.
1752
01:25:57,986 --> 01:26:00,487
Oh, no.
I didn't do anything.
1753
01:26:01,823 --> 01:26:06,577
We wanted to apologize
for what we said last night.
1754
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:08,162
We didn't mean it.
1755
01:26:08,496 --> 01:26:09,496
(SIGHS)
1756
01:26:09,581 --> 01:26:13,500
Yeah, you did.
I get it, you guys
think I'm a dick.
1757
01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:20,466
Okay. Well,
1758
01:26:21,342 --> 01:26:23,760
maybe you are
kind of a dick.
1759
01:26:24,679 --> 01:26:25,762
But,
1760
01:26:26,764 --> 01:26:28,515
you're a fun dick.
1761
01:26:28,683 --> 01:26:31,727
And you're our dick.
1762
01:26:32,353 --> 01:26:37,191
Yeah, man. You were one
of the biggest reasons
that high school was awesome.
1763
01:26:37,358 --> 01:26:40,027
Yeah, high school
was awesome.
1764
01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:42,988
Then we graduated
and everybody
started getting jobs
1765
01:26:43,156 --> 01:26:45,365
and getting married
and having kids
1766
01:26:45,450 --> 01:26:47,826
and all that
other stupid shit.
1767
01:26:47,994 --> 01:26:51,663
Now, look at me.
I'm the bitch
of this place.
1768
01:26:51,873 --> 01:26:53,832
Look, Stifler, none of
our lives are perfect.
1769
01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,209
Especially mine.
1770
01:26:56,169 --> 01:27:00,547
But what do you say we keep
this party going, and hit up
this reunion together?
1771
01:27:02,383 --> 01:27:04,343
What the hell
is going on here?
1772
01:27:05,094 --> 01:27:08,597
Oh, my God.
This is the jackass.
1773
01:27:09,015 --> 01:27:11,475
You're not even
close to being finished
and you're up here
1774
01:27:11,559 --> 01:27:13,685
"chilling with
your posse"?
1775
01:27:13,811 --> 01:27:15,020
Sorry,
we can explain.
1776
01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:16,480
No, Kevin.
1777
01:27:17,899 --> 01:27:18,982
Allow me.
1778
01:27:19,067 --> 01:27:21,693
Yeah, Kevin,
allow him.
1779
01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:22,986
This better be
good, Stafler.
1780
01:27:23,446 --> 01:27:25,531
It's Stifler, fucker.
1781
01:27:25,865 --> 01:27:29,826
(SCOFFS) Oh, wow.
Who the hell do you
think you are?
1782
01:27:30,036 --> 01:27:33,539
Are you acting tough
in front of your
girlfriend? Huh?
1783
01:27:33,623 --> 01:27:35,624
Because we both know
she's only with you
for your money.
1784
01:27:36,459 --> 01:27:37,793
Definitely not
for your dick.
1785
01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:39,795
Because anybody that's
peed next to you
1786
01:27:39,879 --> 01:27:41,713
knows it's the size of
a leprechaun's pinkie.
1787
01:27:41,839 --> 01:27:43,215
(SNICKERS)
1788
01:27:43,299 --> 01:27:45,300
That's not true.
1789
01:27:45,385 --> 01:27:48,679
(MOCKINGLY)
"That's not true."
Oh, yeah, it is.
1790
01:27:50,306 --> 01:27:54,059
Look, just because
you got a fancy office
and I don't even have a desk
1791
01:27:54,227 --> 01:27:56,520
doesn't change
who we really are.
1792
01:27:56,688 --> 01:28:00,190
The truth is,
you're still a dork,
1793
01:28:00,358 --> 01:28:02,317
and I can still
kick your ass.
1794
01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:04,861
But I'm not going to.
1795
01:28:05,029 --> 01:28:06,572
You know why?
1796
01:28:06,739 --> 01:28:08,865
Because I'm the
fucking Stifmeister.
1797
01:28:08,950 --> 01:28:10,742
And if you even
look at me again,
1798
01:28:10,827 --> 01:28:12,953
I will shit
in your briefcase.
1799
01:28:14,247 --> 01:28:15,414
Dudes?
1800
01:28:22,005 --> 01:28:25,674
By the way, I had
no clue what I was doing
with any of this shit,
1801
01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:28,135
so you got a lot
of work to do.
1802
01:28:30,138 --> 01:28:32,180
(PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1803
01:29:02,837 --> 01:29:04,546
Surprise!
Hey! You made it.
1804
01:29:04,714 --> 01:29:05,964
Of course.
1805
01:29:06,132 --> 01:29:08,425
What do you think
about the Lions this year?
They got a shot?
1806
01:29:08,593 --> 01:29:10,927
We'll see if their
offensive line can hold.
1807
01:29:11,095 --> 01:29:13,764
Are you planning on
being on Celebrity
Dance Off: All Stars?
1808
01:29:13,931 --> 01:29:15,807
I actually haven't
thought much about that.
1809
01:29:15,975 --> 01:29:18,018
You should
think about it.
1810
01:29:22,649 --> 01:29:25,984
I'm sorry, guys,
you'll have to excuse me.
1811
01:29:30,615 --> 01:29:31,907
Can I cut in?
1812
01:29:32,492 --> 01:29:35,118
I don't know.
Can you promise to
keep your shirt on?
1813
01:29:35,953 --> 01:29:38,747
Come on, buddy,
I'm busting balls.
Huh?
1814
01:29:38,831 --> 01:29:40,916
Yeah, of course.
1815
01:29:41,250 --> 01:29:42,584
I'll get us
some drinks.
1816
01:29:42,669 --> 01:29:43,794
Okay.
1817
01:29:45,588 --> 01:29:48,131
Hey.
1818
01:29:49,175 --> 01:29:51,468
Shouldn't you be dancing
with your girlfriend?
1819
01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:52,636
Uh...
1820
01:29:53,805 --> 01:29:56,973
Mia and I are over.
1821
01:29:58,476 --> 01:30:03,146
She wanted me
to be someone else.
1822
01:30:03,690 --> 01:30:07,359
Something that I
don't want to be.
1823
01:30:08,486 --> 01:30:10,654
What do you want, Chris?
1824
01:30:11,155 --> 01:30:13,490
Heather, I want this.
1825
01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:15,200
I want us.
1826
01:30:16,661 --> 01:30:20,163
What about
your career? LA?
1827
01:30:20,331 --> 01:30:23,625
Look, I know
that it's crazy.
1828
01:30:23,793 --> 01:30:28,547
And I don't have all
the answers right now,
but I see you,
1829
01:30:29,924 --> 01:30:31,383
and I just know
1830
01:30:32,635 --> 01:30:33,802
I want you.
1831
01:30:35,346 --> 01:30:39,057
I love you.
1832
01:30:46,023 --> 01:30:47,107
So, I'm skiing
down a mountain.
1833
01:30:47,191 --> 01:30:48,525
Guy has a heart
attack right there.
1834
01:30:48,693 --> 01:30:51,570
Saved his life.
lt was a big story,
you can google it.
1835
01:30:51,738 --> 01:30:52,863
Yeah, it was.
1836
01:30:53,030 --> 01:30:54,364
I bet.
1837
01:30:55,366 --> 01:30:57,534
Holy shit!
Excuse me.
1838
01:30:57,702 --> 01:31:00,120
Hey, excuse me.
What the hell
is going on?
1839
01:31:00,538 --> 01:31:01,663
Ron, I can explain.
1840
01:31:01,748 --> 01:31:03,123
Seriously, this guy?
1841
01:31:03,291 --> 01:31:05,542
I'm a fucking heart surgeon,
this guy's not even on ESPN.
1842
01:31:05,710 --> 01:31:07,502
Hey, take it easy, Ron.
1843
01:31:07,670 --> 01:31:10,005
What are you going to do?
Hit me, Oz? Huh?
1844
01:31:10,173 --> 01:31:13,091
Oh, I got an idea.
What about
a dance-off? Huh?
1845
01:31:14,051 --> 01:31:16,887
This isn't
a reality show, okay?
This is the real world.
1846
01:31:17,054 --> 01:31:20,390
You take one swing at me,
I will sue you for all
you're worth.
1847
01:31:20,975 --> 01:31:21,975
(GASPS)
1848
01:31:24,896 --> 01:31:27,355
I'm not worth
jack shit, Dron.
1849
01:31:29,942 --> 01:31:31,151
I'm your dick.
1850
01:31:34,155 --> 01:31:35,197
Dropped him!
1851
01:31:35,281 --> 01:31:36,281
That was awesome!
1852
01:31:36,449 --> 01:31:38,617
Listen, we had a blast
the other night.
1853
01:31:39,785 --> 01:31:42,245
Have you ever thought about
being a party planner?
1854
01:31:42,788 --> 01:31:45,207
Because we want you
to plan our wedding.
1855
01:31:45,291 --> 01:31:46,833
Say yes.
1856
01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:49,794
Yeah, yeah!
I'd love to.
1857
01:31:49,879 --> 01:31:51,671
Nice! Oh, my God.
1858
01:31:51,839 --> 01:31:53,548
Thanks!
This is great, man.
1859
01:31:53,716 --> 01:31:56,343
Thank you so much.
Thank you, bro.
1860
01:31:56,511 --> 01:31:57,969
You're welcome.
Thank you.
1861
01:32:03,768 --> 01:32:04,851
I have to tell
you something.
1862
01:32:04,936 --> 01:32:06,061
You don't have
to explain.
1863
01:32:06,646 --> 01:32:10,982
Look, Paul, I didn't like you
because you climbed the Alps,
1864
01:32:11,150 --> 01:32:13,151
or killed a camel
with your bare hands.
1865
01:32:13,486 --> 01:32:15,987
I liked you
because you were still
the same good guy
1866
01:32:16,072 --> 01:32:18,323
that was actually nice
to me in high school.
1867
01:32:18,950 --> 01:32:20,200
I'm still that guy.
1868
01:32:20,618 --> 01:32:22,327
I really am.
1869
01:32:23,079 --> 01:32:25,789
You know,
the last time I was
here was for prom.
1870
01:32:27,041 --> 01:32:28,333
I didn't have a date.
1871
01:32:28,417 --> 01:32:29,668
Neither did I.
1872
01:32:32,338 --> 01:32:33,463
I have to get a drink.
1873
01:32:33,589 --> 01:32:35,090
What?
1874
01:32:35,258 --> 01:32:36,299
Was my dancing
that bad?
1875
01:32:36,384 --> 01:32:37,425
Yeah.
1876
01:32:37,843 --> 01:32:39,511
Kev! Hey!
1877
01:32:39,595 --> 01:32:40,595
Hey, Jess!
1878
01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:42,472
Wow. Look, you have a beard!
lt looks great.
1879
01:32:42,557 --> 01:32:44,516
Thanks.
I'm kidding.
1880
01:32:44,642 --> 01:32:47,018
Let's just get
this out of the way.
(CLEARS THROAT)
1881
01:32:47,186 --> 01:32:50,438
I'm a lesbian now,
and this is my girlfriend.
This is Ingrid.
1882
01:32:50,606 --> 01:32:52,315
Good to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
1883
01:32:52,483 --> 01:32:55,151
Lesbians?
(LAUGHING)
I knew it!
1884
01:32:55,236 --> 01:32:57,028
Why don't you guys
make out and prove it.
1885
01:32:57,196 --> 01:33:00,282
You must be Stifler.
I've heard a lot about you.
Ow!
1886
01:33:00,366 --> 01:33:01,825
Mostly negative.
1887
01:33:02,034 --> 01:33:04,119
Cool, dude.
What the fuck?
1888
01:33:04,203 --> 01:33:06,037
Jessica, it's good
to see you.
1889
01:33:06,163 --> 01:33:07,289
No, it wasn't.
1890
01:33:07,373 --> 01:33:08,498
What the...
1891
01:33:08,958 --> 01:33:11,710
Look, Kev,
I think you should
go talk to Vicky.
1892
01:33:11,961 --> 01:33:14,045
She's really upset
over there.
1893
01:33:14,880 --> 01:33:16,965
Yeah, thanks.
1894
01:33:17,049 --> 01:33:18,425
Nice to meet you.
1895
01:33:18,509 --> 01:33:20,719
Be a real man,
you have a beard now.
1896
01:33:24,682 --> 01:33:26,641
Kevin, don't.
I'm fine.
1897
01:33:26,809 --> 01:33:30,395
Come on. I was
a complete jerk
last night.
1898
01:33:30,563 --> 01:33:33,440
I was just upset
that you would think
that I would do that
1899
01:33:33,608 --> 01:33:35,233
knowing that
you're married.
1900
01:33:35,776 --> 01:33:37,444
I know you wouldn't.
1901
01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:41,197
Honestly, that was more
about me being nervous.
1902
01:33:42,283 --> 01:33:46,369
Seeing you again,
all these old feelings
came up, and...
1903
01:33:46,537 --> 01:33:49,247
I don't know, I guess
I just felt guilty.
1904
01:33:50,124 --> 01:33:54,294
But the fact that I still
have feelings for you
1905
01:33:54,462 --> 01:33:57,213
just means that what
we had was special.
1906
01:33:57,381 --> 01:33:59,257
Don't get me wrong,
all right.
1907
01:33:59,425 --> 01:34:02,719
I love Ellie
more than anything.
1908
01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:05,388
But no matter
how much time passes
1909
01:34:06,140 --> 01:34:08,099
you'll always be
my first love.
1910
01:34:11,145 --> 01:34:12,270
And you'll
always be mine.
1911
01:34:12,938 --> 01:34:13,980
Kev.
Hey.
1912
01:34:14,148 --> 01:34:16,107
You have to try
these cupcakes,
they're awesome.
1913
01:34:16,192 --> 01:34:18,318
Ellie,
this is Vicky.
1914
01:34:18,569 --> 01:34:22,822
Oh, my God! The Vicky?
Kevin has told me
so much about you.
1915
01:34:22,948 --> 01:34:25,950
You're a really lucky girl.
He's a great guy.
1916
01:34:27,203 --> 01:34:28,912
Come dance with us.
No, it's okay.
1917
01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:31,831
Yes, come on, this is
happening. Come on.
1918
01:34:31,916 --> 01:34:33,917
(SLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1919
01:35:11,497 --> 01:35:14,582
Hey.
1920
01:35:18,003 --> 01:35:19,129
My name's Jim.
1921
01:35:20,089 --> 01:35:23,258
We were in Mr. Lee's
English class together.
1922
01:35:23,509 --> 01:35:24,551
Really?
1923
01:35:25,344 --> 01:35:29,514
Yeah, I...
Sorry, I don't
remember you.
1924
01:35:29,724 --> 01:35:30,849
Okay.
1925
01:35:32,059 --> 01:35:35,562
I was the kid
who everyone saw
on the Internet.
1926
01:35:35,938 --> 01:35:36,938
Mmm.
1927
01:35:37,022 --> 01:35:40,233
Sorry, you're going
to have to be
more specific.
1928
01:35:40,401 --> 01:35:42,068
I pre-ejaculated twice.
1929
01:35:42,194 --> 01:35:43,695
Oh, Jim Levenstein!
Right!
1930
01:35:43,779 --> 01:35:46,239
Levenstein.
Yeah, Jim Levenstein.
1931
01:35:46,407 --> 01:35:48,908
Now I remember. Yeah.
1932
01:35:49,785 --> 01:35:52,203
So, how have you been
since high school?
1933
01:35:52,580 --> 01:35:55,373
Pretty good.
Yeah, pretty good.
Let's see.
1934
01:35:55,708 --> 01:35:56,708
Um...
1935
01:35:57,209 --> 01:35:58,209
Oh!
1936
01:36:00,880 --> 01:36:03,381
I married the most
wonderful woman
in the world.
1937
01:36:05,676 --> 01:36:07,385
And we have
the cutest kid ever.
1938
01:36:08,763 --> 01:36:11,890
lt sounds like
things are perfect.
1939
01:36:12,725 --> 01:36:15,560
I'm willing to do
whatever it takes
to make it perfect.
1940
01:36:16,812 --> 01:36:20,982
And that means
being the sexiest
husband possible.
1941
01:36:21,901 --> 01:36:23,026
Really?
1942
01:36:23,778 --> 01:36:25,111
Michelle,
you look beautiful.
1943
01:36:25,488 --> 01:36:27,947
Oh, thanks.
1944
01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:30,658
Would you like
to dance?
1945
01:36:31,243 --> 01:36:32,535
I'd love to.
1946
01:36:36,290 --> 01:36:38,082
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
1947
01:36:48,219 --> 01:36:49,219
Whoo!
1948
01:36:53,933 --> 01:36:55,099
Stifler.
1949
01:36:55,392 --> 01:36:57,936
Sherman?
The Sherminator?
1950
01:36:58,479 --> 01:37:00,230
What the fuck
have you been up to?
1951
01:37:00,397 --> 01:37:02,732
Married. Had a kid.
1952
01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:04,609
And divorced.
1953
01:37:05,069 --> 01:37:07,570
Oh! I'm sorry.
1954
01:37:07,738 --> 01:37:08,905
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
1955
01:37:08,989 --> 01:37:12,075
But, you know what,
at least I got to
keep little Furlong.
1956
01:37:13,244 --> 01:37:15,328
You named your kid
after Eddie Furlong?
1957
01:37:15,746 --> 01:37:17,080
Yes, I did.
You know why?
1958
01:37:17,248 --> 01:37:20,250
Because Terminator 2
is still the greatest
film ever made.
1959
01:37:20,918 --> 01:37:24,420
Dude, you need
to get banged bad.
1960
01:37:24,630 --> 01:37:26,214
I'm gonna
help you out.
1961
01:37:26,298 --> 01:37:28,758
Your cock
can thank me later,
what do you say?
1962
01:37:29,009 --> 01:37:31,928
No, no. See, I'm not
gonna fall for that again.
1963
01:37:32,221 --> 01:37:33,680
Come on.
1964
01:37:33,764 --> 01:37:36,015
I know
I was bit of a jerk
back in the day,
1965
01:37:36,100 --> 01:37:37,892
but I've grown up
a lot since then.
1966
01:37:38,060 --> 01:37:40,520
Please, let me
help you out.
1967
01:37:45,818 --> 01:37:47,277
Psyche!
1968
01:37:47,778 --> 01:37:48,778
(LAUGHING)
1969
01:37:48,863 --> 01:37:50,363
I'm just
messing with you.
1970
01:37:50,447 --> 01:37:52,198
Get over here,
you little rascal.
1971
01:37:53,075 --> 01:37:55,618
Hey, let's find you
some puss-puss. Let's go.
1972
01:38:00,833 --> 01:38:02,834
Okay, we have
to get out of here.
1973
01:38:03,002 --> 01:38:04,961
It's about time.
Yeah.
1974
01:38:09,717 --> 01:38:10,925
It's a lost cause.
1975
01:38:11,010 --> 01:38:13,803
All these women
are either married
or came with dates.
1976
01:38:15,180 --> 01:38:16,222
WOMAN: Hey, Loni.
1977
01:38:16,307 --> 01:38:19,767
Dude, how would you like
to have your world blown?
1978
01:38:28,360 --> 01:38:29,652
(BEEPING)
1979
01:38:31,071 --> 01:38:33,531
Hasta la vista,
Stifler.
1980
01:38:37,494 --> 01:38:38,620
(SIGHS)
1981
01:38:38,704 --> 01:38:42,373
Great, everybody's
getting laid but me.
1982
01:38:42,541 --> 01:38:43,833
This sucks.
1983
01:38:44,001 --> 01:38:45,835
Excuse me.
1984
01:38:46,003 --> 01:38:47,837
Hi.
Hi.
1985
01:38:48,005 --> 01:38:51,049
I'm looking for Paul Finch.
Have you seen him anywhere?
1986
01:38:51,216 --> 01:38:52,926
What do you
want with Finch?
1987
01:38:53,093 --> 01:38:56,179
I'm here to pick him up.
I'm his mom.
1988
01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:00,934
Finch has a mom?
1989
01:39:03,228 --> 01:39:06,230
I mean,
you're Finch's mom?
1990
01:39:07,066 --> 01:39:09,400
Yeah. Are you
a friend of his?
1991
01:39:09,568 --> 01:39:10,693
Oh, yeah.
1992
01:39:11,779 --> 01:39:13,363
Paul is like
my best friend.
1993
01:39:13,530 --> 01:39:17,742
I love him so much.
More now than ever before.
1994
01:39:17,910 --> 01:39:21,287
ln fact, I can't
believe we haven't met.
I'm Steven Stifler.
1995
01:39:24,208 --> 01:39:25,333
I'm Rachel.
1996
01:39:27,211 --> 01:39:29,212
What? What is it?
1997
01:39:29,380 --> 01:39:33,132
I just got this feeling
like something really
bad is about to happen.
1998
01:39:33,300 --> 01:39:38,221
Don't worry.
I'll be as quiet
as a church mouse.
1999
01:39:42,768 --> 01:39:43,851
Oh, Jim!
2000
01:39:46,647 --> 01:39:47,814
(CHIMING)
2001
01:39:47,898 --> 01:39:48,940
JIM: Oh!
2002
01:39:49,024 --> 01:39:50,233
(BOTH MOANING)
2003
01:39:51,402 --> 01:39:52,360
I want you so bad.
2004
01:39:52,444 --> 01:39:54,112
(IN HUSKY VOICE)
Oh, you have no idea!
2005
01:39:54,947 --> 01:39:56,990
Oh, God! Oh, God!
2006
01:39:57,157 --> 01:40:00,702
Oh, God, there it is.
I don't think
I can hold it anymore.
2007
01:40:00,786 --> 01:40:01,786
Hold it in!
2008
01:40:01,870 --> 01:40:03,913
I'm sorry, I will.
2009
01:40:04,039 --> 01:40:05,248
I just forgot
how awesome this is.
2010
01:40:05,332 --> 01:40:07,500
Oh, yeah, I need this.
2011
01:40:10,295 --> 01:40:13,006
Oh, God, Michelle!
Fuck, I love you!
2012
01:40:13,090 --> 01:40:14,298
Jim?
2013
01:40:14,675 --> 01:40:16,217
(BOTH PANTING)
2014
01:40:16,427 --> 01:40:17,427
Nadia?
2015
01:40:19,596 --> 01:40:20,805
BOTH: (HESITANTLY) Hey.
2016
01:40:21,682 --> 01:40:24,851
I'm sorry.
You are busy, yes?
2017
01:40:25,686 --> 01:40:26,769
No.
Yes.
2018
01:40:26,854 --> 01:40:28,021
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2019
01:40:28,689 --> 01:40:31,691
Nadia, it's so nice
to see you.
2020
01:40:32,067 --> 01:40:34,736
But do you think you
could give us a minute?
2021
01:40:34,903 --> 01:40:35,862
BOTH: Three.
2022
01:40:35,946 --> 01:40:36,946
Three minutes.
2023
01:40:37,114 --> 01:40:40,742
Okay! So nice you
are still together.
2024
01:40:40,826 --> 01:40:41,826
BOTH: Aw!
2025
01:40:41,910 --> 01:40:44,287
And I see you've gotten
much better at this.
2026
01:40:44,997 --> 01:40:47,248
Well, thanks.
2027
01:40:52,129 --> 01:40:54,672
That's Jim?
He looks nothing like me.
2028
01:40:54,757 --> 01:40:56,257
(BOTH MOANING)
2029
01:40:56,508 --> 01:41:01,637
You know,
when I was in high school,
I dated a lacrosse player.
2030
01:41:01,889 --> 01:41:03,765
ln fact, I dated
a few of them.
2031
01:41:03,932 --> 01:41:05,933
You don't say.
2032
01:41:06,101 --> 01:41:09,270
I always wanted Paul
to be more into sports.
2033
01:41:09,438 --> 01:41:12,148
But he was never
that interested.
2034
01:41:12,649 --> 01:41:14,317
You don't have
to sugarcoat it.
2035
01:41:14,485 --> 01:41:15,818
Finch was a klutz.
2036
01:41:18,322 --> 01:41:21,240
Yeah, I guess he was,
but he did not get that
from me.
2037
01:41:21,450 --> 01:41:24,327
I was head cheerleader.
2038
01:41:24,661 --> 01:41:27,663
And if there's
anything I learned
from lacrosse players,
2039
01:41:27,831 --> 01:41:31,375
it's that I like
to handle a stick
2040
01:41:33,045 --> 01:41:35,588
and cradle those balls.
2041
01:41:35,672 --> 01:41:38,758
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
2042
01:41:38,842 --> 01:41:40,051
I love you.
2043
01:41:41,011 --> 01:41:43,304
Are you ready for me,
Stifler?
2044
01:41:47,768 --> 01:41:49,018
Oh, yeah!
2045
01:41:50,604 --> 01:41:52,188
Let's go.
2046
01:41:52,356 --> 01:41:54,273
(MOANS)
Oh, Michelle.
2047
01:41:54,441 --> 01:41:56,359
Oh, God, Michelle.
2048
01:41:56,944 --> 01:41:59,362
You are amazing!
2049
01:41:59,738 --> 01:42:01,197
Better than the bathtub?
2050
01:42:01,281 --> 01:42:02,323
Much.
2051
01:42:04,117 --> 01:42:05,743
Better than this?
2052
01:42:06,203 --> 01:42:07,286
Ooh!
2053
01:42:10,624 --> 01:42:12,124
Of course.
2054
01:42:13,627 --> 01:42:15,545
STIFLER:
Oh, take those off!
2055
01:42:15,712 --> 01:42:17,004
RACHEL: We shouldn't
be doing this.
2056
01:42:17,172 --> 01:42:18,256
Yes, we should.
(UNZIPPING)
2057
01:42:18,340 --> 01:42:20,174
Oh, Stifler.
2058
01:42:20,342 --> 01:42:21,884
Oh, Finch's mom!
2059
01:42:23,387 --> 01:42:24,720
Call me
the Stifmeister!
2060
01:42:24,888 --> 01:42:27,306
Yeah, you are
the Stifmeister.
2061
01:42:27,724 --> 01:42:28,724
(BOTH MOANING)
2062
01:42:28,809 --> 01:42:30,059
MAN: MILF?
2063
01:42:36,733 --> 01:42:38,317
Oh, Finch's mom!
2064
01:42:38,569 --> 01:42:39,610
(UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) MILF.
2065
01:42:41,196 --> 01:42:42,238
MILF.
2066
01:42:45,993 --> 01:42:47,326
STIFLER:
Tell me I'm the best.
2067
01:42:47,411 --> 01:42:49,078
RACHEL:
You are the best!
2068
01:42:49,913 --> 01:42:50,955
MILF.
2069
01:42:52,207 --> 01:42:53,583
MILF.
MILF.
2070
01:42:55,210 --> 01:42:56,419
STIFLER:
Oh, Finch's mom!
2071
01:42:57,045 --> 01:43:02,049
BOTH: MILF! MILF! MILF!
2072
01:43:02,426 --> 01:43:04,343
(CHEERING)
2073
01:43:04,428 --> 01:43:05,887
RACHEL: Yes! Yes!
2074
01:43:05,971 --> 01:43:07,388
STIFLER: Oh, your
son's such a dork!
2075
01:43:07,472 --> 01:43:09,390
Stop talking
about him!
2076
01:43:09,474 --> 01:43:10,808
(RACHEL SCREAMING)
2077
01:43:11,810 --> 01:43:14,478
Well, our first reunion
is officially in the books.
2078
01:43:14,646 --> 01:43:17,857
I don't know about
you guys, but my night
ended pretty well.
2079
01:43:18,025 --> 01:43:19,108
lt was great.
2080
01:43:19,192 --> 01:43:20,526
I had a blast.
lt was unforgettable.
2081
01:43:20,611 --> 01:43:22,320
Fuck yeah!
I jizzed like
a racehorse.
2082
01:43:23,030 --> 01:43:24,697
What happened to you
at the end of the night,
Stifler?
2083
01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,073
Who did you
end up with?
2084
01:43:26,158 --> 01:43:28,910
A gentleman never
kisses and tells, Jim.
2085
01:43:31,788 --> 01:43:32,830
JIM: Guys?
2086
01:43:34,917 --> 01:43:36,792
I'll be right
back, okay?
2087
01:43:40,714 --> 01:43:41,797
Kara!
2088
01:43:48,347 --> 01:43:50,431
Hey.
Hey.
2089
01:43:51,224 --> 01:43:53,893
Look, I'm sorry about
what I said the other night.
2090
01:43:54,061 --> 01:43:57,438
No, I'm the one who
should be apologizing.
2091
01:43:57,606 --> 01:43:59,732
I can't believe
the way I acted.
I'm so embarrassed.
2092
01:43:59,816 --> 01:44:01,359
Don't be.
2093
01:44:01,777 --> 01:44:05,071
When I was your age
I was pretty obsessed
with sex, too.
2094
01:44:05,155 --> 01:44:06,238
I know.
2095
01:44:07,282 --> 01:44:08,366
I've seen
the YouTube clip.
2096
01:44:08,867 --> 01:44:11,327
Oh, of course you did.
2097
01:44:11,495 --> 01:44:13,704
But, thanks for
understanding.
2098
01:44:13,872 --> 01:44:16,666
I was thinking about it,
and you're right.
2099
01:44:16,833 --> 01:44:18,459
I should really wait
for someone special.
2100
01:44:20,170 --> 01:44:23,172
Just, it's going to be tough
to find a guy as good as you.
2101
01:44:26,593 --> 01:44:27,677
I'm sure you will.
2102
01:44:34,518 --> 01:44:36,602
I feel like a whole new
man after this weekend.
2103
01:44:36,687 --> 01:44:38,145
Kind of sucks
we have to leave, though.
2104
01:44:38,230 --> 01:44:41,357
Not me.
I'm going to take
some time off my job
2105
01:44:41,441 --> 01:44:43,275
and stick around here
with Heather for a while.
2106
01:44:43,360 --> 01:44:44,443
Nice!
2107
01:44:44,528 --> 01:44:45,653
What about you, Finch?
2108
01:44:45,737 --> 01:44:48,948
Selena and I, we're planning
a little jaunt to Europe.
2109
01:44:49,116 --> 01:44:51,701
Just make sure
you call your mom.
She misses you.
2110
01:44:52,577 --> 01:44:53,953
How would you know?
2111
01:44:54,329 --> 01:44:55,329
(CHUCKLES)
2112
01:44:55,747 --> 01:44:56,747
Oh...
2113
01:44:59,876 --> 01:45:01,794
I guess this is it, huh?
Back to reality?
2114
01:45:01,962 --> 01:45:03,713
We shouldn't wait
until the next reunion.
2115
01:45:03,880 --> 01:45:06,966
We should try to get
together every year.
2116
01:45:07,092 --> 01:45:09,719
What do you say,
until next time?
2117
01:45:09,803 --> 01:45:11,971
Until next time.
Until next time!
2118
01:45:21,690 --> 01:45:22,982
(MIMICKING COUGH)
I fucked Finch's mom.
2119
01:45:23,108 --> 01:45:24,400
What?
2120
01:45:24,526 --> 01:45:25,860
What was that?
2121
01:45:41,084 --> 01:45:43,335
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
2122
01:46:43,897 --> 01:46:45,648
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
2123
01:46:47,943 --> 01:46:48,943
Hmm?
2124
01:46:49,611 --> 01:46:50,986
What's this?
2125
01:46:52,322 --> 01:46:54,073
Oh, no, dear.
No, no, no.
2126
01:46:54,241 --> 01:46:56,075
No, dear. No!
(UNZIPPING)
2127
01:46:56,159 --> 01:46:57,159
Oh!
2128
01:47:03,041 --> 01:47:04,041
Oh...
2129
01:47:04,793 --> 01:47:07,837
Oh. Oh. Oh.
2130
01:47:08,088 --> 01:47:11,423
Ah. Oh. Oh.
2131
01:47:11,842 --> 01:47:14,718
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
2132
01:47:14,928 --> 01:47:17,012
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
2133
01:47:17,681 --> 01:47:19,265
Oh! Oh!
2134
01:47:19,349 --> 01:47:21,392
Oh, my God!
2135
01:47:21,768 --> 01:47:23,185
Ah! (LAUGHING)
2136
01:47:25,981 --> 01:47:26,981
(SIGHS)
2137
01:47:27,399 --> 01:47:28,941
(CLEARS THROAT)
2138
01:47:29,109 --> 01:53:49,529
Great movie.
149724
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