All language subtitles for mixed-ish.2x09

In 1986, there was nothing
bigger than spending money.

We even had TV shows about it.

And no one liked spending money
more than my granddad.

You're misinterpreting
what "enough" means.

Enough is too much,

so let's have too much, okay?

Hang on a second.

The man could not go ten seconds

without mentioning his Ferrari.

El Ferrari. Un Ferrari.

I'm Filipino, sir.

I'm Harrison. I have a Ferrari.

I have a Ferrari.

You'd better hope
I don't see you at the valet,

or I will run you over with my Ferrari.

But my parents went the other way.

That's right. Material
things are just things.

They didn't care about money at all.

They even made it our family motto.

What do we value?

People over things.

Yes, it's about people over things.

- Mm-hmm.
- You know what I'm over?

This conversation.

I can hear you.

My parents never bought
anything they didn't need.

Until one day, my mom bought...

Oh...

Oh, God, I love it.

I want to hug it.

Is it weird that I want to hug it?

No, girl. Go on
and hug your new Louis bag!

It's only weird if you kiss it.

I still can't believe
you talked me into buying this.

I can convince anyone to do anything.

At Pan Am, I convinced a nun
her bag wasn't lost,

it was just waiting on her in heaven.

Besides, you deserve to treat
yourself for once.

Plus, you can afford it.

You a partner. Act like one.

Amen to that.

Did he just use that correctly?

What? I practically live here.

I pick up a few things.

And Dee-Dee's right.

You gotta look the part.

Speaking of, can you start parking

your hoopty three blocks away?

What? I picked that up, too.

Oh, hey.

Hey, babe.

I bought myself a little gift.

It was a touch expensive,
so don't freak out.

How expensive?

Don't freak out.

I'm not freaking out.

Ok-Okay.

$150.

See?

I'm not freaking out.

Oh, my... That is
an insane amount of money!

Okay, I'm freaking out.

Doesn't seem like that much to me,

but I'm still interested
in where this fight goes.

Yeah.

? In the mix ?

? Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ?

? But they can't stop us ?

? 'Cause we got a love ?

? That keeps rising up ?

? In the mix ?

? Life turns around ?

? 'Round and 'round it goes ?

? Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ?
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up ?

? And that's for sure ?
? Mixed-up ?

? In the mix ?
? Baby ?

? We're gonna get by ?
? We're gonna ?

? On our own, side by side ?

? Love's all we need to be free ?
? Lo-o-o-ve is all ?

? I got you, you got me ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix-ish ?

$150?!

Breathe.

I'm sorry, I-I'm... I'm a...
I'm a little thrown,

because we never spend money like this.

It shows. I love what you
haven't done with the place.

Baby, baby, we value people over...

Things. I know.

But honestly, there are
some people I like

less than this thing.

O-Okay, but... but... I mean,
y-you don't need a new bag.

Yes, she does.

This does not say "partner."

It says, "I'm really a bucket."

It works just fine.

Yeah, if you want to mop up

a gas station bathroom.

Or if you want to make spare
change by drumming on it.

You gotta get with the times, son.

Hippies and caring about wars are out.

Yuppies and status symbols are in.

Without money, Hugh Hefner is
just some pervert in a robe.

Yeah, see? This is exactly
what I don't want us to become.

Oh, don't worry about that, son.

You could never become Hef.

Don't you kiss that bag.

Ugh, my dad.

Everything is about money with him.

I know, but don't worry.

I'm still the cool hippie chick.

Whoa!

Are we millionaires?

Hey, if Mom gets nice stuff,
we should, too.

Can I get a JanSport backpack?

All the cool kids have one.

Mallory's so cool, she even has two.

Her parents are divorced and compete
for her affection, but still!

And can I get leather pants
like Eddie Murphy?

I want caviar.

I don't know what it is, I just want it.

Oh, s... Yes, kids. Absolutely.

Those are all things
you definitely need.

Don't you think, babe?

And while we're at it,
why don't we get you

a chauffeur to drive you to school?

And maybe we should get them robots

that can play catch with them.

Wait, there's robots
that can play catch?!

- I want that.
- Okay, you made your point.

Kids, we don't want you
obsessing over material things.

I'm...

I don't know what I was thinking.

It was an impulse buy.

So...

I'll return it.

Ciao, my love.

Thank you, my love.

Dee-Dee, where you going?

Oh, compost bin.

Trust me.

But my w... my wallet.

My money.

- She already took it out.
- Yeah.

I mean, what do I do, buddy?

I-I just feel like, all of a sudden,

all my family cares about is stuff.

I hear you, Pauls-to-the-Wall.

It's so crazy that people think

- money can buy you happiness.
- Oh.

It's like, "Hey, buddy,
a new arcade game's

not gonna make you forget
you're all alone in this world"!

Or some other example.

That just popped in my head
for no reason.

I-I-I just don't want anything

to change who my kids are, you know?

I wouldn't worry about it,
Parnold Schwarzenegger.

We have great kids. I mean,

look how sweet they are,
all playing together.

How ya guys doing?

Would be a lot better if you got me

a video game that didn't suck.

I'm bored!

- Not me!
- My turn!

- Kids...
- Mine!

- Just...
- Mine!

The screaming means they're having fun.

- It's my turn!
- I'm older!

Maybe Dad was right to be
worried about us.

Even I couldn't stop thinking
about a better backpack.

I want a JanSport so bad.

But when I asked my parents for one,

they said I shouldn't
even care about brands.

Ugh, your parents are the worst.

We should curse them
with a witch's spell.

I've been practicing.
My powers are getting stronger.

Yeah, your parents are wrong.

Everything you own should have
a label printed on it.

Yeah, brands are a big deal.

It's how I know my dad's girlfriend

is cooler than my mom,
so I know to love her more now.

Yeah, no one ever says,
"Ooh, I love that.

Is that the generic version

of something people would
actually wear?"

I heard, at Mallory's sleepovers,

you have to have one, or you
can't even walk in the door.

You have to get your parents
to buy you one.

Ooh, I-I bet a hex
could change their minds!

You know what? I'll just explain to them

that it's about so much more
than a backpack.

I-It's about a sense of
belonging, fitting in.

This is my chance to finally be cool.

Well, let's not get crazy.

I feel like no one is
hearing me on the witch thing.

Uh...

Turns out, I wasn't the only
one obsessing over a bag.

Why are you hiding your bag
under my desk

like it's a bottle of tequila?

People drink openly here.

I just ran out of time this morning.

I'm gonna return it after lunch.

Okay, fine, but technically,

you still have custody of it
for the next couple of hours.

Why don't you have a little fun with it?

I mean, I've worn things all
weekend before returning them.

- Hmm.
- Why don't you take it for a little stroll?

Nice bag.

Oh!

- Let me explain.
- Hey!

Everyone likes nice things,

but when those things
make people look at you

like they never have before...

- Wow!
- ...you want to feel that feeling forever.

Ooh!

Feels pretty good, right?

All the praise? The hint of jealousy?

That's the power of the status symbol.

I'm telling you, that purse
is good for your career.

I have to admit, the attention
does feel nice.

Because it says you belong at the top...

the upper echelon.

It says that you can run
with the big dogs.

It's a damn shame
you need to take it back.

What do I do?

I told Paul I'd return it.

You can't tell me it didn't
feel good to finally be seen.

How many times have we complained

about being invisible in this office?

The other day, Bradley
did put his cup down on me.

Exactly. That bag's like
wearing a neon shirt

when you're jogging, except for
Black women in the workplace.

That's it.

I can tell Paul I need to keep
it because of Black stuff.

Yeah.

I'm not returning it.

End of story.

- No turning back now.
- Okay.

Ooh, girl, you left the tag on.

- Oh.
- So tacky.

- Act like you've been there.
- Okay!

Eyy!

Oop!

I'll keep this for me.

What are you doing?

Looking for a hiding spot for your bag.

No, I'm just gonna tell Paul
why I need to keep it.

You know, Black stuff.

Seriously?

He's just gonna make you feel guilty

and say you're being a bad
example for your kids.

I hate it when he plays the "kids" card.

You're right.

Hey, babe. Are you home?

- Hi.
- Hi.

How was your day?

Also, tiny heads-up...

- Dee, this includes you.
- Huh? Yes.

I told Johan and Santi
they can't buy anything new

for a year, but I'm open to forever.

Don't you think that's a little harsh?

No, I just don't want them to be
caught up with having stuff.

You know, like my dad is.

I mean, he is so obsessed with...

with... with showing off
his wealth and status.

I mean, it's kind of gross.

A total yuck-fest.

So gross. Total yuck-fest.

Status symbols, who needs 'em, right?

I'm so glad we're not those people.

So glad.

Not those people.

- I need a beer.
- Mm-hmm.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

- Dee?
- Huh?

Beer?

Yes.

So what do we do to keep them grounded?

Make them donate everything they own?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I love that w-we're always
on the same page.

Always. No secrets.

I need to find a box
to fill for donations.

Great. There are boxes in the garage.

Definitely none in the microwave.

Be cool! You're gonna get us caught.

For a lawyer, you don't know
how to lie very well.

Remind me to never hire you.

Mom?

I thought you took that back.

We did. I did.

You're dreaming.

Okay, fine.

It's about more than just a bag.

You have to understand
the historical context.

For so long, no one has seen us...

Hey, babe, I could only find one box.

I think I donated the rest.
How's that for irony?

Long story short,
it's important because we Black,

and because you're also Black,

you need to help us lie to your daddy.

Mm-hmm.

So I had a decision to make.

I'll keep your secret...

if you get me the backpack I asked for.

Deal.

All right, let's clean some
closets and cleanse some souls!

Can I get a "hallelujah?"

Hallelujah!

No souls in this closet.

My new backpack was awesome.

Sure, I had to hide it
from my dad and my siblings,

so I could wear it in my room,

but that didn't bring me down.

Oh, hey, cool kids.

Oh, this?

It's a JanSport.

Thank you for inviting me
to your sleepover.

Of course you can check
my totally rad bag.

Hey, George Michael.

Let's kiss in our matching backpacks.

Ew, what are you doing to the mirror?

And where'd you get that?

Ooh!

She probably stole money from my purse!

- What?
- My old purse.

My only purse!

I only have one purse. Hm.

Wow. First Johan and Santi,

- and now you.
- Mm.

I mean, you really care
about this stuff?

You have such a good head
on your shoulders.

And you're my favorite,
even though I say

I love you all the same.

Dad, it's about more than just stuff.

There's a historical context.

Right, Mom?

Didn't you say it was about
being seen or something?

You know, Black stuff?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

- Pulling the race card over a bag?
- Oh.

Oh.

- That is low.
- That is low.

Rainbow. I'm sorry.

You're grounded forever. Maybe longer.

Longer!

Thank you for taking the fall for this.

I will get you anything you want.

Yeah. You owe me big time.

I want a pair of Sperrys,

Barq's Root Beer-Flavored Lip Smackers,

and a red puffy vest
like Michael J. Fox has

in "Back to the Future."

Oh.

Okay.

After seeing me and my siblings
care about material things,

my dad called a family meeting
to get us back to our roots.

Thank you all for coming out today.

Uh, we're grounded.

This is our one hour of yard time.

Where'd you think we were gonna go?

Speaking of, I don't think
grounding you is the answer.

Does that mean we're free to go?

Depends.

I need you guys to promise me

that you don't want material things.

If we're being honest, I don't
think we can promise that.

Well...

good thing I have a Plan B.

Now, if you answer
my questions correctly,

you get to keep your stuff.

- Yay!
- Cool!

- Yay!
- But answer incorrectly...

...your stuff gets grilled.

What?!

Uh, isn't this a bit extreme?

It's very, but worth it,

if it keeps our kids
down-to-earth, right?

So, Johan, you're first.

Do you like Alvin for who he is
or for his things?

Oh, I love his things.

Wait, was that the wrong answer?

Son, you should want to play
with Alvin, not his toys.

Okay, Santi.

You can do this.

- Same question.
- Oh.

And we're still not allowed
to lie, right?

No.

If he didn't have a Bigfoot Power Wheel,

I wouldn't know his name.

Okay, Rainbow. Last up.

Oh!

Do you really care about this backpack?

Yes, and I know that's the wrong answer,

but please don't burn the one
thing that can make me cool.

Paul, I got that for her.
Rainbow did nothing wrong.

What do you mean, you got this for her?

We... We... We both agreed
that this stuff is meaningless.

It's not meaningless to me.
I just want to fit in.

Can't I just have one thing

that will make my life
a little bit easier?

You having a cookout
and didn't invite us?

What are you cooking? Smells like tires.

Oh, we're cleansing our souls

to get rid
of stupid stuff we don't need.

Oh.

That's what an $150 fire looks like.

Wait, you burned the bag?

The bag?

I thought you returned the bag.

I almost did, but I kept it.

- Dee-Dee talked me into it.
- Oh, that's low.

Doing your own sister dirty like that?

I might need something big
to forgive you,

like, I don't know,
a Louis Vuitton purse.

You lied to me.

Technically, you didn't ask.

But yes, I kept the bag.

But in my defense,
I didn't think you'd find out.

When Rainbow caught me,
I bought her the backpack.

You brought our innocent
daughter into this?

She's not so innocent.

That girl extorted your wife
for boat shoes

and ChapStick
that tastes like cough drops.

- So proud of you, Rainbow.
- Thanks.

All of this over a bag?

I also bought a matching scarf and belt.

You've got to be kidding me.

I had to complete the look.

Ah. Can't argue with that.

How am I the only one in this family
that isn't latched

to the poisonous teat of commercialism?

Oh. Oh.

Wait. This is all your stuff.

You're the biggest consumer of us all.

Oh, no.

Whoo-hoo! I'm so glad I stuck around.

This is about to get good.

I mean, the guy just said
"teat of commercialism."

- Ha!
- No, no, no. No, no, no. The...

There's a big difference between
my gear and your clothes.

Oh, really? How so?

Is your stuff, uh, manly?

- Manly?
- No. No.

This is all stuff for the... the house,

for the... for the family.

This is all stuff that we need.

Really? You need all these pots?

- Yeah.
- Multiple gardening aprons?

Make-your-own-yogurt kit?

So someone can eat yogurt
churned by your meaty palms?

Don't nobody want that.
Don't nobody need that.

Hmm.

Careful.

Son, you lost

the moment they found
more than three aprons.

What are you doing?

Are you trying to put together
that stupid home yogurt kit

to prove to your family
that they actually need it?

No.

Yes.

So you bought
a few things you don't need.

- Who cares?
- Well, I do.

It's not who I am.

What is so wrong with wanting something?

It's a slippery slope, Dad.

Okay, if I give the kids
everything they want,

they'll just grow up spoiled rotten.

Or you could give them nothing,

and as soon
as they move out of your house,

they lose their minds and buy everything

they didn't have when they were kids.

That's what I did.

My dad had no money.
He never bought me squat.

Now look at me.

I buy myself all the squat
I can get my hands on.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Hey, I don't care how you feel.

That's on you.

I know you got your issues with me,

but the point is,

this is the way the world is going

whether you like it or not.

So maybe start letting your kids

live in the real world now and then,

so that when the time comes,

they know how to handle it on their own.

Yeah.

How much did you spend on this, anyway?

Not $150.

But close.

Hey.

So I tried getting rid
of stuff I don't need,

like my electric fly swatter.

Honestly, if you can't kill
a fly with just your own power,

it deserves to live.

Right. Right.

So I-I-I don't need it,

but I still can't get rid of it,
'cause I want it.

Mm.

Is this your version of an apology?

Yeah.

I was judging you guys
for wanting stuff,

but I want stuff, too.

Ohh, I'm sorry I got carried away.

Why didn't you just tell me
you wanted to keep the bag?

You didn't exactly make it easy.

Comparing me to Harrison?

Making me feel like I was
corrupting the kids?

This is something I felt good about,

and you made me feel bad about it.

I'm sorry.

I mean, we all want to project

the best versions of ourselves.

You do it, too, with your
homegrown, do-it-yourself kits.

They show you're different.

That you're not like your dad.

Hmm.

So I buy stuff to show people
that I don't care about stuff.

- Mm-hmm.
- Wow, I'm a...

- I'm a real piece of work, aren't I?
- Yes, you are.

But you're my piece of work.

So the kids get to keep their things,

and I keep my bag.

Yeah.

As long as we know to stop worrying

about appearances when we need to.

I'm drinking a Chardonnay
you made in a bucket.

I think we're past caring
about appearances.

- It's good, though, right?
- Delicious.

So my parents found their way
through our consumer culture.

And decided everything was okay
in moderation.

Yes! So does that mean I get to
keep all the stuff you got me?

- No. But we've decided...
- Mnh-mnh.

...that you get to keep
the backpack that you wanted.

I see how much it means to you.

Yes!

And I can wear it outside my room?

Actually, doesn't matter.
I love it either way.

What about us? What do we get?

Well, you guys are gonna love this.

The same backpack Rainbow has?

That's actually worse
than getting nothing.

Let's go to Alvin's.

At least his parents know
how to properly buy his love.

You can go to your room,
that's where you can go.

And I'm taking these back.

Your Honor, I rest my case,

but I won't rest this bag,

because it looks good on me!

Why, yes, Mortimer, I will bet you $1

that Harrison couldn't make it
one day on the street.

Can I speak to your manager?

No?

Now can I speak to your manager?

Why, yes,

this purse does match my yacht.

Thanks for noticing.

Hey, Luther Vandross,

let's kiss
in our matching designer bags.

Oh. Why, yes, Luther Vandross,

a thousand kisses from you
is never too much.

Oh.

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