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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:02,753 [serious music] 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,506 - Good evening. I'm Randall Park. 3 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,343 Candidate Dwayne Johnson finds himself embroiled 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,345 in controversy today over the announcement 5 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,305 of his vice presidential running mate, 6 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,098 General Monica Jackson. 7 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,475 As a West Point cadet, 8 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,519 General Jackson wrote a weekly humor column 9 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,021 for the school newspaper called "Just Joking," 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,648 where she offered up 11 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,359 "witticisms of mass destruction." 12 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,485 Yeah. 13 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,196 - Randall, we have vetted General Jackson thoroughly, 14 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,697 and I've seen her column. 15 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,199 - Even this one 16 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,536 where she calls UN Secretary General Kofi Annan 17 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,204 "a weak cup of Kofi"? 18 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,747 - Look, clearly she's not my running mate 19 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:39,998 for her sense of humor. 20 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,043 She's here because we have a shared vision for the country. 21 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,711 - Well, as someone who's familiar with comedy 22 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,296 from my acting days, 23 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,048 I know how polarizing it can be. 24 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,717 Amy Polarizing. - [laughs] 25 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,885 That's good! - Yeah. 26 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:52,886 - That is good. Get in here. 27 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,137 That's good. - Okay. 28 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,472 Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 29 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,350 - Awesome. - Uh, where you going? 30 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,227 We still have an interview, I think, right? 31 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,896 - Oh, oh, sorry. No, I-I-I just got excited. 32 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,064 - Caught up in the moment. 33 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,065 - Yeah. - It was a good joke. 34 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,400 - Thank you, thank you. 35 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,902 Anyway, so certain factions are calling on you 36 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,362 to choose a new running mate, 37 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,072 saying that Jackson lacks the credibility 38 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,574 to be vice president. 39 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,409 - Look, she's still my partner in this thing, 40 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,244 and I don't leave my partners behind. 41 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,912 - Mm. - Hopkins taught me that one. 42 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,289 - Hopkins. - Yeah. 43 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,623 - Yes, yes, Hopkins, Hopkins. 44 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:24,167 Your costar in "The Scorpion King," right? 45 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,335 - No one named Hopkins on that one. 46 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,547 - Right, no, no. That's not Hopkins. 47 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,424 Hopkins was... 48 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,925 - You know, Randall, it might be easier 49 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,385 is I just told you the story. 50 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,928 - Right. - [laughs] 51 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,598 1991, I was playing football for the University of Miami. 52 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,391 - ♪ Miami bass, bass, bass ♪ 53 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,934 - So I've been open 54 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,562 about how badly I handled my first semester of college, 55 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,772 getting injured and almost flunking out of school. 56 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,941 I was spending the off-season rehabbing 57 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,943 and getting myself back on track 58 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:53,113 and ready for a new season with new teammates. 59 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,865 - You Dwayne Johnson? 60 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,409 - Yeah, who's asking? 61 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,412 - Warren Sapp, freshman tight end. 62 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,332 - ♪ Miami bass, bass, bass, bass ♪ 63 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,250 - Future bench-press record holder. 64 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,960 - Oh, you think you got it? 65 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,129 - Man, get your Sharpie ready. - [laughs] 66 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,964 Okay, freshman. - I don't want no excuses. 67 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:11,965 I know you already been working. 68 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,467 - Don't worry. You won't hear any. 69 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,802 - Uh-huh. Let's get it. 70 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:16,970 - [grunts] 71 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,640 This is so easy. - So easy. 72 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,308 - I'm thinking about what I'm about to have for lunch. 73 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,143 - I wish I had a book. I'd start reading it. 74 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,811 I was feeling strong, 75 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,897 couldn't wait for the next season to start. 76 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,398 My parents were so excited, 77 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,983 they even watched tapes of our practice scrimmages. 78 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,318 - Whoo-hoo! 79 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,319 - Something happen on that play? 80 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,904 - Yes, Dewey didn't get hurt! 81 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,656 ♪ ♪ 82 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:39,660 - Ooh, you know! - Yeah, you like that, Dewey? 83 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,703 What about this? 84 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,502 You know what those grades mean? 85 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,337 You're still on academic probation. 86 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,838 - Coach O, how did you get my grades? 87 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,006 Aren't they private? 88 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,174 - Nothing's private from me, son. 89 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,509 This ain't no joke now. 90 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,678 Not only do you need to get these grades up, 91 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,680 you need to show the school your appreciativeness 92 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,597 to even letting you play. 93 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,307 - Like compliment them on the renovations 94 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,643 they made to the administration building. 95 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,771 - You are making me so mad, Dwayne. 96 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,439 No! 97 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,024 You need to volunteer. 98 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,610 Do something to help the university. 99 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,278 Show them your dedication to the school 100 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,655 goes beyond football. 101 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,823 Here. 102 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,826 Call this guy. 103 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,036 Tell him you want to help out with campus security. 104 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,081 This is real important, Dewey. You can't mess this up. 105 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,749 - Uh, Coach, this is your card. 106 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,501 - What? Oh. 107 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,545 Kind of looks like me, don't it? 108 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,339 Yeah, I found that on the clip art. 109 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,007 There, that face. 110 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,551 - While I was doing whatever I had to 111 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,969 to keep playing football, 112 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,012 my grandmother was returning to the U. S. 113 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,224 after years of exile in Samoa. 114 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,475 - Could you take your hat off, please? 115 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,394 - Why? - It's obscuring your face. 116 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,729 - Are you hitting on me? - Ma'am. 117 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,231 - Fine. 118 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,732 - And where are you coming from? 119 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:56,194 - Where am I coming from? Hell, that's where. 120 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,071 For almost two years in Samoa, 121 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,032 I was homeless and sleeping on people's couches, 122 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,494 and at night, I would stare up in the stars, 123 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,872 thinking about getting back to my family, 124 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,791 and then one day I heard from my daughter. 125 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,419 She told me that my grandson had found a way 126 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,421 to get me back into the country. 127 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,257 My prayers had been answered. 128 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,093 - Okay, so, under "countries visited," 129 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,220 I'm just gonna put Samoa. 130 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,099 - Idiot. 131 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,769 Stupid. 132 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,604 - Okay, wait. I'm confused. 133 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,439 How did you get her back into the country 134 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,274 if she was deported by the federal government? 135 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,235 - Let's just say that I found a little loophole in the law, 136 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,112 and she became a citizen again. 137 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,614 - Can I ask a follow-up question? 138 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,407 - I wouldn't. - Just a quick one. 139 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,867 Was Hopkins somehow involved in all that? 140 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,411 - No, he wasn't. I hadn't met Hopkins yet. 141 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,746 I was about to. 142 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,664 Coach's contact pulled through 143 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,917 and helped me get a job in campus security 144 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,044 in a department called "Phone Services." 145 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,630 - You'll be checking the emergency phones on campus 146 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,964 to make sure they're operational. 147 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:58,757 - Okay, so I just have to-- 148 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,300 - Don't worry, I'm gonna have one 149 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,594 of our most experienced techs train you. 150 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,513 Hopkins! 151 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:10,143 - Hopkins! - Hopkins! 152 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144 - That's Hopkins. - That's Hopkins. 153 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,729 Come on, give me some. 154 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,815 - [laughs] All right, yes! 155 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,316 - Where you going? We're still doing the interview. 156 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,651 - Oh, that's right. You're totally right. 157 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:18,819 That's right. - That's right. 158 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,487 There we go. - Okay, sorry about that. 159 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,780 - It's okay. - Just got excited. 160 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,990 - It's Hopkins. - Hopkins! 161 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,827 - Hopkins, this is your new partner, Dwayne Johnson. 162 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,829 - I don't need a partner. I'm good, thanks. 163 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,998 - This isn't a choice, Hopkins. This is an assignment. 164 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,708 [soft music] 165 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,335 - Get somebody else to take him. 166 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,670 I've got seniority, for God sakes. 167 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,421 - Come on. 168 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,924 Show Dwayne the ropes. 169 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,176 - Just eight months to graduation. 170 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,345 ♪ ♪ 171 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,346 - So we just check the phone and-- 172 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,848 - Okay, here's the deal. None of that matters. 173 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,015 All right? 174 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,684 We write our names on that sign-in sheet every morning, 175 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,686 get the list of phones we're supposed to check, 176 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,479 then go home and watch movies until it's time to sign out. 177 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,523 - What? But Justin said that-- 178 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,192 - He has to say that, but he knows the deal. 179 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,360 We look out for each other. 180 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,863 Now that I've told you, you're a part of that circle. 181 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,699 - Look, this job is keeping me on the football field. 182 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,034 If you're messing with my chances to get to the NFL, 183 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,369 I will kill you. 184 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,621 - Just take it easy, big fella, all right? 185 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,748 Just follow my lead, and everything will be fine. 186 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:17,210 The only thing I need to know is, do you like action movies? 187 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,336 - Of course I like action movies. 188 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,506 - Then welcome to the greatest scam in college history. 189 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:26,136 . 190 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,054 [sirens wailing on TV] 191 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,556 - Whoa! 192 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,182 - Yo, you sure about this? 193 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,893 We just watch movies and then go back and sign out 194 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,519 at the end of our shift? 195 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,354 You sure we don't have to check any campus phones? 196 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,397 - Look here, man. 197 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,065 I used to check the phones like a good soldier 198 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,484 my first few months here, and you know what I found? 199 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:42,569 They worked. 200 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,029 If they don't, somebody'd tell us. 201 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,072 We're entirely unnecessary. 202 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,701 Trust me, I've been doing this a long time, almost a year. 203 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,416 [chuckles] This flick is good. 204 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,084 Not as good as Schwarzenegger's-- 205 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,586 best action star of all time. 206 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,212 - No, Stallone, all day. 207 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,381 - This isn't a debate. It's a fact. 208 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,217 - It's a fact that my guy could take your guy 209 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,762 via land, sea, air, and time. 210 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,597 - Say your daughter gets kidnapped 211 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,598 by a Latin American dictator. 212 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,183 - Okay. 213 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,517 - You can send one guy to save her--who do you pick? 214 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,852 - Rambo. - Mm-mm. 215 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,604 He's experienced in tropical environments. 216 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,189 He's escaped a P. O. W. camp. 217 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,107 He knows how to deal with a loose cannon. 218 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,943 - Rambo knows Vietnam. He doesn't know South America. 219 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,403 And, yeah, he escaped a P. O. W. camp, 220 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,946 but he lost his best friends in the process. 221 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,365 - 'Cause he was double-crossed! 222 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,949 - Schwarzenegger doesn't make excuses. 223 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,576 - Oh, but I'm sure you will for "Red Sonja." 224 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,079 - Two beautiful foreigners with swords getting revenge? 225 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,330 I don't see a problem. 226 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,082 [explosion on TV] - Ooh! 227 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,628 - Here we are! 228 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,255 - [grunts] Why are these so heavy? 229 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,383 - It's the wood for my carvings. 230 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,635 - So we have a surprise. 231 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,969 We've called some of the old crew, 232 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,471 and they're all coming to town. 233 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,640 We're throwing you a barbecue this weekend. 234 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,809 - Who's gonna man the grill? 235 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,644 - Why is that everyone's first question? 236 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,938 Who cares who mans the grill? 237 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,940 - Ah, Dewey. 238 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,983 I can't wait to see him. 239 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,652 - Won't be long before you're able to see him 240 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,946 play football on TV on Saturday. 241 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,989 - You hear that, High Chief? 242 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:14,160 You're grandson, big star, playing football on TV. 243 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,121 How much he get paid? - Nothing. 244 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,205 - They don't get paid in college. 245 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,248 - Stupid. 246 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,709 You made me bore the High Chief with stupid news? 247 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,002 You know how busy he is in Heaven? 248 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,921 - You son of a bitch. 249 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,508 - He's no Stallone, 250 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,677 but your guy Schwarzenegger can deliver a catchphrase. 251 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,678 - Hell, yeah, he can. 252 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,179 [imitates Schwarzenegger] Get to the chopper. 253 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,514 - Get to the chopper. - Get to the chopper. 254 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,684 - Get to the chopper! - Get to the chopper! 255 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,352 - ♪ Yeah! ♪ 256 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,979 - Oh, there it is, there it is. It's coming, it's coming. 257 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,148 - Oh! - Yes! 258 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,484 ♪ Stan Bush's "The Touch" ♪ 259 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:52,115 ♪ ♪ 260 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,700 [laughs] - Watch this. 261 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,452 - Oh! - Aah! 262 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,870 [laughter] 263 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,664 ♪ You've never walked, you've never run ♪ 264 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,709 ♪ You're a winner ♪ 265 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,044 - Kill me! I'm here! 266 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,629 Come on, do it now! Kill me! 267 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,715 - Aah! 268 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,051 [laughs] 269 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,719 - You have to cut the ground wire. 270 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,056 It's the blue wire with the white stripe. 271 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,725 - ♪ You got the power ♪ 272 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:19,893 - Yes! 273 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,395 - ♪ You got the touch ♪ 274 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,230 - You see, the mud is what protects you. 275 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,399 - No, I don't--I would've seen him regardless. 276 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:28,318 - It's invisibility. You would not have seen him. 277 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,736 - Bro, you don't know my power. 278 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,156 - Says here all the phones are in working order. 279 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,741 You sure about that? 280 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,868 - Of course we're sure. 281 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,495 - I was gonna say, "We have 'Total Recall.'" 282 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:39,579 - Here you go. 283 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,790 - That's hilarious. 284 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,958 - Have a good one. 285 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,338 You guys better hope those phones are working. 286 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,924 That was Amanda Chavez from HQ. She's doing quality control. 287 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,926 - What do you mean quality control? 288 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,719 - She's checking the phones. 289 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,054 She's got your checklist, 290 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,555 and she's gonna make sure it's accurate. 291 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,933 - You said no one ever checks. - They don't. 292 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,768 They never do. - Well, they are now. 293 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,603 Amanda Chavez is checking your work, 294 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,021 and if anything's off, we're all screwed. 295 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,606 - Oh, I can't mess this up. 296 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:09,442 My football career, my life is on the line. 297 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,236 - And I'm saving up for a Sega Genesis. 298 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,029 - Then you need to get to those phones 299 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,948 before Amanda Chavez does. 300 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,617 ♪ ♪ 301 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,702 Do not screw this up! 302 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,664 God help us if Chavez is wearing her comfortable heels. 303 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:26,167 . 304 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:27,877 [birds chirping] 305 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,089 [dramatic music] 306 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,257 - Move, move, move, move! 307 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,550 - Whoa! - Excuse me! 308 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,968 - Hey! 309 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,469 - Sorry, sorry! 310 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,097 [birds chirping] 311 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,306 ♪ ♪ 312 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,475 - She's halfway to the first phone. 313 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,394 - How are we gonna beat her there without her seeing us? 314 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,813 - What if we go this way? - Jump the arboretum wall? 315 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:47,981 That bitch is eight feet high! 316 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,315 - Or we could go through the natatorium. 317 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,650 - Pool. Man, the lifeguards will make us walk. 318 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,152 - Well, the arboretum or the natatorium? 319 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,319 - Um... 320 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,320 - The arboretum or the natatorium? 321 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,613 Make the call! - The arboretum! 322 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,823 - Okay. 323 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,158 [grunts] 324 00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,659 ♪ ♪ 325 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,119 [birds chirping] 326 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,328 ♪ ♪ 327 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,873 [line trilling] All right, It works. 328 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,709 Hey, Hopkins, look. 329 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,128 - What's she doing over there? - She changed her route. 330 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,005 She's headed to the phone by the library. 331 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:15,675 ♪ ♪ 332 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:16,759 - Damn it! 333 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,761 It doesn't make any sense. Why would she do that? 334 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,346 - We're dealing with a loose cannon. 335 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,848 - She's heading to the phone on the other side 336 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,016 of that plaza. 337 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,685 She's almost there. What do we do? 338 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,936 - I got an idea. 339 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,606 You move those cones and reroute that band to block her. 340 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,025 I'm gonna cut through the building to beat her there. 341 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,944 [marching band playing] 342 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:42,160 ♪ ♪ 343 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,790 - Oh, uh... 344 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,628 [humming] 345 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,215 - It's up to you now, Johnson. 346 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:59,219 - Today we're gonna be talking about electromagnetic force. 347 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,222 [dramatic music] 348 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,224 Excuse me, can we help you? 349 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,059 - Uh, no need, all good. 350 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,644 - What is your name? 351 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,854 - Warren Sapp! 352 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,899 [Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero"] 353 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,234 ♪ ♪ 354 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,361 [line trilling] 355 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:22,533 ♪ ♪ 356 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,578 - ♪ Where have all the good men gone? ♪ 357 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,790 ♪ And where are all the gods? ♪ 358 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,792 ♪ Where's the streetwise Hercules ♪ 359 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:31,751 [line trilling] 360 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:35,255 ♪ To fight the rising odds? ♪ 361 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:40,843 ♪ Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? ♪ 362 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:41,928 [line trilling] 363 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,430 ♪ Late at night, I toss and I turn ♪ 364 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,100 ♪ And I dream of what I need ♪ 365 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,269 ♪ I need a hero ♪ 366 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:53,940 ♪ I'm holding out for a hero till morning light ♪ 367 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,943 ♪ He's got to be sure, and it's got to be soon ♪ 368 00:12:56,943 --> 00:13:00,029 ♪ And he's got to be larger than life ♪ 369 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,447 - Hopkins. - What? 370 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,782 - Put your feet down. 371 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,951 ♪ ♪ 372 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,286 - Oh. [chuckles] 373 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:10,832 ♪ ♪ 374 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,584 [laughter] 375 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,045 - Thank you, baby. - Thank you. 376 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,297 - I know this sounds crazy, 377 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,965 but I think I might grill up some peaches. 378 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,633 [cheers] 379 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,052 - Is she making peach burgers? - Mm-hmm. 380 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,972 - Lia, you wouldn't believe how much beef jerky 381 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,474 they make me eat when I shoot one of those commercials. 382 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,143 [chuckles] Guess how much. 383 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,311 - A hundred pounds? 384 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,229 - A hundred p-- 385 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,231 No, now, that is a crazy amount of jerky. 386 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,442 38 sticks, yeah. 387 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,651 - Ooh. - 38. 388 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,154 - I once ate 38 eggs in a day. 389 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,406 - Ah, well, there ain't no money in eggs, my brother, 390 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:47,285 but beef jerky did pay for my Lambo 391 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,455 Ooh, yeah! 392 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,707 - Billy Crystal told me to buy two Lamborghinis 393 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,792 and use them as roller skates. [laughter] 394 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,836 - I'm so glad you called me, Lia. 395 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,337 I didn't think you were ever gonna forgive me 396 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,006 for going with Greg Yao. 397 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,257 - It's funny. 398 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,843 I used to care about things like that, 399 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:07,013 but my time in Samoa... [sighs] 400 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:10,349 - Mom, you get the first burger off the grill. 401 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:13,311 - Thank you, darling. I'm not hungry. 402 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,022 - You okay, Lia? You don't seem like yourself. 403 00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,106 What's the matter? 404 00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,817 - [sighs] Me. 405 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,693 I'm the matter. 406 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:23,529 In Samoa, I had a lot of time to think, 407 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:27,116 and I realized the most important thing is family. 408 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,202 Nothing else matters. 409 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,662 Now that I've come home, 410 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,165 I see how I failed my family. 411 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,750 - Mama, you didn't fail us. 412 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,544 - I wanted to keep Peter's dream alive. 413 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,881 His business was our legacy, and I didn't do that. 414 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,549 He shouldn't have left it to me. 415 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,051 - Oh, no, don't say that. - Don't say that. 416 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,677 - No, it's true. 417 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,138 I mean, we live in a two-bedroom apartment 418 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,223 in Tonka. 419 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,849 - Tampa. - Lia. 420 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,977 You gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere else to go. 421 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,354 I'll never forget that. 422 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,064 - Playing cards in your kitchen was some 423 00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,232 of the best times of my life. 424 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,901 - Auntie, you loaned us money and helped us get started, 425 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,693 remember? 426 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,320 - And I completely betrayed you, 427 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,738 but you still found it in your heart 428 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,240 to welcome me back to the family. 429 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,741 - When Peter was alive, 430 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,410 I never did see the wrestling business as his. 431 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:14,122 - He needed you, Baba, same as you needed him. 432 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:18,000 - Peter would have been proud of the way you fought for us. 433 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,044 - To Lia and Peter. 434 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,421 all: Lia and Peter. 435 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,340 - Thank you, boys. 436 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:26,175 Now, can someone get me a hamburger? 437 00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,385 I'm starving. 438 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,761 - Mom, your hamburger's right here! 439 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,556 - Oh, right, right, right. 440 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:35,434 You know, I am full on the love and the well wishes. 441 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,604 [laughter] 442 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,773 - Who wants the peach burger? 443 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,276 Come on, Randy, you get in there. 444 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,987 [laughter] 445 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,031 - Got eyes on Chavez. 446 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,867 She stopped for a coffee break at the student center. 447 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,910 We should have plenty of time to check this last phone. 448 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,745 - Let's get it done, son. We got this. 449 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,457 [bicycle bell dings] [shouts in slow motion] 450 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,710 - [slowed] No! 451 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,547 - Hopkins, can you hear me? - Aah! 452 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,132 - Hopkins! - I hear you, man! 453 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,633 It's my leg, not my ears! 454 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,635 - Come on, get up. - I can't. 455 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,970 My leg is busted. Just go, all right? 456 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,805 Just leave me. - I'm not gonna leave you. 457 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,057 Would Tango leave Cash? - You can't risk it. 458 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,476 [grunts] You need this job for football. 459 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,229 - And you, you need that Sega Genesis. 460 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,148 Now come on. 461 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,984 [dramatic rock music] 462 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:30,031 ♪ ♪ 463 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:36,120 . 464 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:37,997 - [breathing heavily] 465 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,251 Phone Services. I'm commandeering this cart. 466 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:45,296 [dramatic music] 467 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:50,760 ♪ ♪ 468 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,179 - Johnson, no, don't do it! Don't do it! Are you crazy? 469 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,680 Look out, look out! 470 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,307 Oh! 471 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,310 [brakes squeal] 472 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,187 [line trilling] - [laughs] 473 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,606 - Yes! - We did it. 474 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,192 [laughs] 475 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,612 - Oh, man, I'm thinking we need to frame this. 476 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:13,282 Wait. What the hell is that? 477 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,867 There's one more phone, 478 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,035 and it's in the student center. 479 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,371 - That's why Chavez went there first. 480 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,248 She wasn't on a coffee break. 481 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,500 - She went to check that phone. 482 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,168 You need to get to it before she does. 483 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,378 - There's no way. 484 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,046 The path goes all the way around the quad. 485 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,214 It'll take ten minutes. 486 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,882 - Not if you cut across on foot. 487 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,343 I've got my walkie. I'll be with you the whole way. 488 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,304 ♪ ♪ 489 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:37,390 - Phone steam ahead. 490 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,059 - What? - It's word play. 491 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:47,108 ♪ ♪ 492 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,911 She hasn't checked it yet. 493 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:02,957 ♪ ♪ 494 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,750 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 495 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:05,835 Damn it! 496 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,756 Hopkins. Hopkins, you there? 497 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,425 - Johnson, what's happening in there? 498 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,261 - The phone is dead. I don't have much time. 499 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,887 Chavez is almost done with her coffee. 500 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,347 - Hang on, Johnson. 501 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,602 [line trilling] Come on, pick up the phone. 502 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,270 - Emergency Services, this is Justin. 503 00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,606 - Justin, it's Hopkins. We've got a broken phone. 504 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,607 What do we do? - I don't know. 505 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,108 It could be a million things. 506 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,192 - Just give us a fix, damn it! 507 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:33,279 - Okay, look, nine times out of ten, it's the wiring. 508 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,615 Try to unscrew the receiver end. 509 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,117 - Johnson, unscrew the receiver. 510 00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,619 - Right. 511 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:43,164 ♪ ♪ 512 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,333 - Okay. - What's next? 513 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,126 - There should be four connected wires-- 514 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,129 blue, white, orange, and black. 515 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,380 Do you see those? 516 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,965 - Do you see four wires? 517 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,635 Blue, white, orange, and black. 518 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,137 - Yes, but the blue one and the orange one 519 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,639 aren't connected to anything. 520 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:00,640 - The blue one and the orange one 521 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,807 aren't connected to anything. 522 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,310 - Okay, blue wire goes to the battery. 523 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,937 Orange one goes to the terminal strip. 524 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,272 - Blue wire to the battery, 525 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,607 orange one to the terminal strip. 526 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,484 - Wait, what's the terminal strip? 527 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,819 Isn't that the shady strip club by the airport? 528 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,322 [feedback whines] 529 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,657 - Damn it, she's heading over. 530 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,159 [radio crackling] - Johnson? 531 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,243 Johnson! 532 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,995 - Hopkins! 533 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,706 [feedback whines, stops] 534 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,041 Okay. 535 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,835 Blue wire to the battery. 536 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,671 Which one's the battery? 537 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,298 You got this, Johnson. Here goes nothing. 538 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:41,430 ♪ ♪ 539 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,441 [heartbeat pounding] 540 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:59,323 ♪ ♪ 541 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,080 We did it! 542 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,707 - Whoo! Ha ha! 543 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,958 - Yes! 544 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:15,548 Heard the Gulf War is going well. 545 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,383 - Whoa, that was intense. 546 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,051 - Bet your ass it was intense, Randall. 547 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,720 [laughs] My life has been intense. 548 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,972 That's why I surround myself with people I trust. 549 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,307 When times are tough, you don't get rid of them. 550 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,892 You weather out the storm together. 551 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,395 - [chuckles] So is Hopkins still in your life? 552 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,688 - Oh, yeah! 553 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,565 Yeah, we're in a football pool together. 554 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,733 - That's beautiful. - [laughs] 555 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:34,900 - So before we go, 556 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,902 do you have any final thoughts about General Jackson? 557 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,405 - I know without hesitation that when the chips are down, 558 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,074 I want General Monica Jackson by my side. 559 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,411 She is a fighter, she's tough, and she never gives up, 560 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,079 and I have her back. 561 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,289 And when we need it most, 562 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,082 she's gonna have America's back as well. 563 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,251 - General Jackson, how much does it mean 564 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:55,087 to hear Mr. Johnson defend you through these tough times. 565 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,590 - It means that we have a presidential candidate 566 00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,259 with integrity and character. 567 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:04,054 And I can't think of a better person to lead our country. 568 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,514 And all this chatter 569 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,768 about my college newspaper column 570 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,229 has really got my comedy juices flowing again. 571 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,064 - What? 572 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,901 - Here's my top ten reasons why Dwayne Johnson 573 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:17,943 would be a great leader. 574 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:18,778 Number ten-- 575 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,447 he will never take you for granite. 576 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,450 Number nine--he rocks. 577 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,952 Number eight-- - How many more are there? 578 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,330 - Eight. - Right. 579 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,998 - Power to the pebble. 580 00:21:31,048 --> 00:21:35,598 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41305

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