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From the Novel by
GEORGES BERNANOS
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DIARY OF A COUNTRY PRIEST
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Screenplay, Adaptation and Direction by
ROBERT BRESSON
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00:02:04,012 --> 00:02:07,311
I don't think I'm doing anything wrong
in writing down daily,
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00:02:07,415 --> 00:02:09,474
with absolute frankness,
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00:02:09,684 --> 00:02:12,016
the simplest
and most insignificant secrets
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00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,188
of a life actually lacking
any trace of mystery,
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00:03:42,844 --> 00:03:45,506
My parish, my first parish,
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00:03:49,951 --> 00:03:52,545
Must I believe
that it's only for duty's sake
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00:03:52,654 --> 00:03:54,849
that I refuse to acknowledge
my poor health?
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00:03:55,990 --> 00:03:58,049
My bicycle is very useful,
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00:03:58,393 --> 00:04:01,624
but I can't ride uphill on an empty
stomach without feeling faint,
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00:04:17,645 --> 00:04:20,113
I deliberately cut out
meat and vegetables,
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00:04:20,982 --> 00:04:26,784
eating only small quantities of
wine-soaked bread whenever I feel dizzy,
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00:04:27,288 --> 00:04:29,483
I add a lot of sugar to the wine,
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00:04:29,591 --> 00:04:32,924
I let my bread harden
for several days,
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00:04:33,828 --> 00:04:35,921
Thanks to this diet,
my head is clear,
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00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:38,430
and I feel much stronger,
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00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:47,506
Old Fabregars came
to the sacristy this morning,
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00:04:58,286 --> 00:05:00,811
Aside from the fee for my time,
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00:05:01,022 --> 00:05:02,887
God knows, Mr. Fabregars,
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00:05:03,024 --> 00:05:05,754
I'd like you to have use
of the draperies for free,
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00:05:06,094 --> 00:05:07,755
I should think so,
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00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:11,593
A lot of old moth-eaten rags
held together by patches,
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00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:15,229
What could they have cost?
- Candles are very expensive,
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00:05:15,336 --> 00:05:17,930
You do have a soft time of it,
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00:05:18,239 --> 00:05:20,673
There's no excuse
for exploiting the poor,
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00:05:21,342 --> 00:05:23,674
You like your money easy, Father,
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00:05:23,778 --> 00:05:26,941
We charge everyone the same,
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00:05:27,048 --> 00:05:29,016
As I see it, it's simple:
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00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:32,016
I ask one thing, it�s only just,
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00:05:32,286 --> 00:05:35,449
Let my poor old wife
be buried decently,
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00:05:35,657 --> 00:05:37,557
The usual service,
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00:05:37,759 --> 00:05:41,286
And for that I�ll not pay
a penny more, you hear?
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00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:52,799
I was still distraught
when I went to see the priest of Torcy,
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00:05:56,477 --> 00:05:59,412
God, I wish I had
his health and mental balance, I
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00:06:07,622 --> 00:06:09,647
You should have
shown him the door,
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00:06:10,425 --> 00:06:12,086
Yes, shown him the door,
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00:06:13,728 --> 00:06:15,525
Besides, I know Fabregars,
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00:06:16,397 --> 00:06:18,297
The old guy has plenty,
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00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:20,692
You young priests!
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00:06:22,336 --> 00:06:25,328
What have you young men
got in your veins these days?
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00:06:26,207 --> 00:06:28,505
In my time
they made men of the church,
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00:06:28,643 --> 00:06:30,770
leaders of parishes, real masters!
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00:06:31,979 --> 00:06:34,379
Seminaries these days
send us choirboys,
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00:06:34,482 --> 00:06:36,973
young ragamuffins who think
they're working harder than anyone
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00:06:37,518 --> 00:06:39,486
because they never manage
to finish anything,
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00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:41,482
At the first sign of difficulty,
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00:06:41,589 --> 00:06:44,854
they say the priesthood isn't what
they expected and drop everything,
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00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:46,984
I will not drop everything,
I assure you,
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00:06:47,195 --> 00:06:49,129
Besides exterminating the devil,
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00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:52,597
your other dream is to be loved
for who you are,
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00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,066
A true priest is never loved,
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00:06:55,269 --> 00:06:57,999
The church doesn't care a whit
whether you're loved, my son,
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00:06:58,239 --> 00:06:59,797
Be respected, obeyed,
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00:07:00,274 --> 00:07:02,868
Keep order all day long,
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00:07:03,044 --> 00:07:06,138
knowing full well disorder
will win out tomorrow,
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00:07:06,547 --> 00:07:10,643
because in this sorry world,
the night undoes the work of the day,
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00:07:21,696 --> 00:07:23,960
"Keep order all day long"
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00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:27,894
The priest of Torcy's
words came back to me
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00:07:28,002 --> 00:07:30,266
as I peeled potatoes for my soup,
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00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:34,765
The right-hand man
came up from behind,
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00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:41,411
Good news, Father,
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00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:43,641
I'm getting electric light?
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00:07:43,851 --> 00:07:46,285
The council agreed to your request,
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00:07:46,521 --> 00:07:50,651
It will install electricity for you
at its own expense,
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00:07:50,758 --> 00:07:53,852
There remain
just the usual formalities,
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00:07:54,061 --> 00:07:57,053
- Will it take long?
- Two or three months, Four at the most,
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00:07:58,499 --> 00:08:01,559
I'd have loved to tell him
a thing or two about his cabaret,
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00:08:03,171 --> 00:08:05,162
He puts on a dance every Sunday
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00:08:05,506 --> 00:08:07,531
and calls it "The Families� Ball"
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00:08:07,642 --> 00:08:10,941
where boys have fun
getting young girls drunk,
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00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:12,803
Good day, Father,
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00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:17,745
I didn't dare,
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00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,211
The simplest tasks
are by no means the easiest,
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00:08:49,851 --> 00:08:51,648
An awful night,
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00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:56,021
As soon as I closed my eyes,
sadness overwhelmed me,
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00:09:05,032 --> 00:09:09,264
I'd have done anything this morning
for a word of compassion or kindness,
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00:09:29,724 --> 00:09:31,988
I was expecting a lot
from catechism class,
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00:09:32,193 --> 00:09:34,559
the children preparing
for holy communion,
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00:09:41,402 --> 00:09:44,633
The girls had given me hope,
especially S�raphita Dumouchel,
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00:09:44,906 --> 00:09:47,170
Communion is
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to re - to receive -
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00:09:53,681 --> 00:09:55,148
How about you?
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00:09:56,350 --> 00:09:59,080
It's to receive -
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00:10:00,922 --> 00:10:03,516
Receive Jesus
in the sacrament of the Eucharist,
87
00:10:04,058 --> 00:10:06,151
And how did He establish
the Eucharist?
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00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,095
To establish the Eucharist,
89
00:10:19,307 --> 00:10:22,743
Jesus broke bread and gave it
to His disciples, saying,
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00:10:23,277 --> 00:10:25,541
"Take and eat, This is My body,"
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00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:29,011
He took wine and said,
"Take and drink, This is My blood,
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00:10:29,116 --> 00:10:30,777
Do this in remembrance of Me"
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00:10:30,985 --> 00:10:34,512
That will do for today's class,
S�raphita, come forward for a good mark,
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00:10:39,927 --> 00:10:41,519
The others may go,
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00:10:59,714 --> 00:11:01,682
Are you anxious
to make your communion?
96
00:11:03,985 --> 00:11:05,680
Why not?
97
00:11:06,754 --> 00:11:08,449
It'll come soon enough,
98
00:11:09,156 --> 00:11:11,750
Yet you understand me,
and you listen so well,
99
00:11:13,294 --> 00:11:15,922
It's because
you have such beautiful eyes,
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00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,538
They had plotted it together,
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00:11:28,142 --> 00:11:31,134
But why such hostility?
What had I done to them?
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00:11:35,983 --> 00:11:38,713
Miss Louise
attends holy mass every day,
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00:11:39,153 --> 00:11:41,280
Without her,
the church would be empty,
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00:11:42,323 --> 00:11:46,191
Her position as governess at the manor
dictates a certain distance between us,
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00:11:48,195 --> 00:11:50,993
This morning she buried
her face in her hands,
106
00:11:51,465 --> 00:11:54,263
but at the blessing,
I could see she'd been crying,
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00:12:37,978 --> 00:12:39,707
You must feel very lonely,
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00:12:39,814 --> 00:12:41,611
Her ladyship is very kind,
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00:12:41,715 --> 00:12:45,446
but Miss Chantal enjoys humiliating me
and treats me like a servant,
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00:12:45,553 --> 00:12:47,418
Is she your only pupil?
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00:12:47,521 --> 00:12:51,252
The countess had a son, but he died,
She adored him,
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00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:54,022
No one at the manor
ever mentions him,
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00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:57,827
I'll call on the count next Thursday,
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00:13:02,903 --> 00:13:05,235
This visit to the manor
has me quite worried,
115
00:13:05,339 --> 00:13:08,604
A good first impression
could spell success for my plans
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00:13:08,809 --> 00:13:11,039
for a youth club
and sports program,
117
00:13:11,245 --> 00:13:15,238
The count's influence and wealth
could help me to achieve them,
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00:13:45,513 --> 00:13:48,744
The land is barren
and the barn empty,
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00:13:49,016 --> 00:13:50,415
That's true,
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00:13:50,618 --> 00:13:54,110
I'm not saying no, Father,
but give me time to think it over,
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00:14:04,665 --> 00:14:08,601
He's said to be hard on his farmers,
and he's no model parishioner,
122
00:14:09,236 --> 00:14:12,865
Why has he so quickly become
the so desperately rare
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00:14:13,073 --> 00:14:15,906
friend, ally and companion?
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00:14:38,599 --> 00:14:41,363
Mrs. Pegriot will prepare it for you,
I've let her know,
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00:14:44,939 --> 00:14:48,636
I didn't dare tell him
my stomach only tolerates dry bread,
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00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:51,307
I won't taste his rabbit stew,
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00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,347
for which I'll have to pay
the housekeeper a half day's wages,
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00:14:54,782 --> 00:14:58,684
I could have a choirboy take it
to old Mrs. Ferrant, she'd be delighted,
129
00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:06,148
Father, I approve of all your ideas,
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00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:07,921
Oh, my ideas,
131
00:15:08,028 --> 00:15:10,496
But I warn you against
putting them into practice,
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00:15:11,298 --> 00:15:12,856
I don't follow,
133
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,834
The people here are malicious,
134
00:15:16,036 --> 00:15:18,630
Believe me, I know,
135
00:15:18,739 --> 00:15:21,902
If I may offer a bit of advice,
136
00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:25,240
well, don't be in too much of a hurry,
137
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,175
Don't show your hand at once,
138
00:15:27,748 --> 00:15:31,240
Let them take the first step,
There is no urgency,
139
00:15:33,787 --> 00:15:36,153
It's just that these things
are dear to my heart,
140
00:15:36,257 --> 00:15:38,817
As for my land and my barn,
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00:15:39,393 --> 00:15:41,418
I wouldn't discourage you,
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00:15:41,962 --> 00:15:43,953
We'll discuss them later
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00:15:44,164 --> 00:15:48,225
when we get down to working out
something practical together,
144
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:55,636
You're not looking at all well,
145
00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:58,374
You should take care of your health,
146
00:15:58,579 --> 00:16:00,672
My stomach is very temperamental,
147
00:16:08,088 --> 00:16:11,057
I hesitate, sir,
to mention your daughter,
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00:16:11,358 --> 00:16:13,622
My daughter?
What is the matter?
149
00:16:14,728 --> 00:16:16,753
I'm concerned about her sadness,
150
00:16:17,464 --> 00:16:19,523
Her face is far from cheerful,
151
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:23,301
There is something hard
and rigid in her expression
152
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,165
far beyond her years,
153
00:16:25,372 --> 00:16:28,170
Chantal sad?
You must be joking,
154
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:32,110
Could someone be rubbing her
the wrong way?
155
00:16:32,313 --> 00:16:36,215
Would a little more understanding
from Miss Louise -
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00:16:38,252 --> 00:16:39,879
You're mad,
157
00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:59,896
The mention of Miss Louise's name
seemed to upset him terribly,
158
00:17:00,607 --> 00:17:02,541
His face hardened,
159
00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:04,411
Why?
160
00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:14,310
I seized the first opportunity
to return to the manor...
161
00:17:15,756 --> 00:17:17,917
a decision I had arrived at quickly,
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00:17:45,953 --> 00:17:48,183
The servant was
several moments in coming,
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00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,540
I was sure I'd meet the count,
164
00:18:07,641 --> 00:18:10,735
who was usually at the manor
Thursday afternoons,
165
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:14,881
But I met the countess instead,
166
00:18:15,516 --> 00:18:17,541
I must have surprised her,
167
00:18:17,651 --> 00:18:19,380
Am I disturbing you?
168
00:18:19,486 --> 00:18:21,579
Not at all,
169
00:18:21,822 --> 00:18:23,653
I knew she was withdrawn
170
00:18:23,757 --> 00:18:26,885
and entirely absorbed
in the memory of her dead child,
171
00:18:36,003 --> 00:18:39,370
she approached,
motioning to a chair,
172
00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:44,340
On seeing you, I felt you had come
with some purpose in mind,
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00:18:44,545 --> 00:18:46,740
None other than to pay a call,
174
00:18:46,847 --> 00:18:49,645
And that you also meant
to keep it to yourself,
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00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,217
I assure you,
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00:18:51,418 --> 00:18:53,249
I see I was wrong,
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00:18:53,353 --> 00:18:56,413
Your parishioners worry you
a good deal, Father,
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00:18:57,024 --> 00:18:59,049
Yet it's such a small parish,
179
00:19:01,028 --> 00:19:02,757
Small on the map, madam,
180
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:06,363
It's a strange task
you've been entrusted with,
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00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:09,365
Yes, madam,
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00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:12,232
How little we know
what a human life really is,
183
00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:15,332
Though I'd arrived feeling fine,
184
00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:18,409
I found myself suddenly incapable
of holding a conversation
185
00:19:18,512 --> 00:19:20,537
or even answering questions,
186
00:19:21,148 --> 00:19:23,116
It's true that I'd walked
very quickly,
187
00:19:23,317 --> 00:19:26,753
I'd lost a lot of time
with the ill Mrs. Ferrant,
188
00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:30,051
Father!
Heavens, what's the matter?
189
00:19:31,592 --> 00:19:33,787
You seem to be suffering terribly,
190
00:19:35,662 --> 00:19:37,823
Where is the pain?
191
00:19:38,365 --> 00:19:40,299
Here, in the pit of my stomach,
192
00:19:42,803 --> 00:19:44,964
But it's nothing,
Nothing at all,
193
00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:50,534
Forgive me, madam,
I must take my leave,
194
00:20:13,066 --> 00:20:14,897
I'm seriously ill,
195
00:20:15,569 --> 00:20:19,130
I was first struck
by this disease six months ago,
196
00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:24,275
I went to see Dr. Delbende,
197
00:20:28,015 --> 00:20:31,678
He's an old man, rumored
to be brutal, who's now retired,
198
00:20:32,386 --> 00:20:34,946
The priest of Torcy
informed him I would be coming,
199
00:20:35,923 --> 00:20:39,324
He palpated my stomach at length
with thick and unclean hands,
200
00:20:39,526 --> 00:20:41,187
He�d just returned from hunting,
201
00:20:43,029 --> 00:20:45,896
When things get you down,
come and pay me a call,
202
00:20:47,433 --> 00:20:51,164
I wouldn't say that to everyone,
but the priest in Torcy has spoken of you,
203
00:20:52,305 --> 00:20:54,296
And I like your eyes,
204
00:20:55,107 --> 00:20:56,199
Faithful eyes,
205
00:20:57,076 --> 00:20:58,737
Dog's eyes,
206
00:20:58,844 --> 00:21:02,371
You and Torcy and l
are of the same race, an odd race,
207
00:21:03,516 --> 00:21:06,383
The idea that I belonged
to the same race as these hefty men
208
00:21:06,485 --> 00:21:08,544
would never have occurred to me,
209
00:21:09,689 --> 00:21:12,249
- What race?
- The race that holds on,
210
00:21:12,458 --> 00:21:16,326
And why does it hold on?
No one quite knows,
211
00:21:16,862 --> 00:21:19,626
As a schoolboy I came up
with a motto for myself:
212
00:21:19,999 --> 00:21:21,466
"Face up to it"
213
00:21:22,468 --> 00:21:24,834
Face up to what? I ask you,
214
00:21:25,805 --> 00:21:27,534
Injustice?
215
00:21:28,574 --> 00:21:31,008
I'm not one to go around
babbling about justice,
216
00:21:31,110 --> 00:21:33,305
I don't expect it for myself,
217
00:21:33,579 --> 00:21:36,548
From whom should I ask it?
I don't believe in God,
218
00:21:37,283 --> 00:21:39,046
I'm not very experienced,
219
00:21:39,251 --> 00:21:43,517
but I always recognize the tone
that gives away a deeply wounded soul,
220
00:21:45,324 --> 00:21:47,383
You're not up to much,
221
00:21:47,994 --> 00:21:49,757
Just look at that,
222
00:21:50,496 --> 00:21:53,624
Anyone can see you've not
always had enough to eat,
223
00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:59,530
Well, it's too late now,
224
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:04,676
And the alcohol -what about that?
225
00:22:06,846 --> 00:22:07,835
Alcohol?
226
00:22:09,181 --> 00:22:11,547
Not what you've drunk, of course,
227
00:22:14,787 --> 00:22:19,053
What was drunk for you,
long before you came into the world,
228
00:22:32,405 --> 00:22:34,339
s�raphita worries me a lot,
229
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,431
I wonder sometimes if she hates me,
230
00:22:36,542 --> 00:22:38,874
she torments me
with such exceptional maturity,
231
00:23:04,203 --> 00:23:05,795
Morning, S�raphita,
232
00:23:24,590 --> 00:23:28,492
I returned her book bag that afternoon,
I was received very roughly,
233
00:24:00,659 --> 00:24:03,389
Yes, I scold myself
for praying so little and so poorly,
234
00:24:04,363 --> 00:24:06,456
But do I have time to pray?
235
00:24:10,836 --> 00:24:13,532
I met the priest from Torcy
on the road to Gesvres,
236
00:24:13,739 --> 00:24:15,969
He gave me
a ride back to the rectory,
237
00:24:16,509 --> 00:24:18,909
The bishop must be
hard up for priests
238
00:24:19,111 --> 00:24:21,204
to put a parish in your hands,
239
00:24:21,914 --> 00:24:24,849
I could burden you with advice,
but what's the point?
240
00:24:25,518 --> 00:24:29,352
I've known pupils
who'd solve the toughest problems,
241
00:24:29,588 --> 00:24:31,488
just like that, out of spite,
242
00:24:32,191 --> 00:24:33,988
Where have I gone wrong?
243
00:24:34,193 --> 00:24:35,785
You're too fussy,
244
00:24:35,995 --> 00:24:38,555
Just like a hornet in a bottle,
245
00:24:39,565 --> 00:24:41,931
But I think you have
the spirit of prayer,
246
00:24:43,202 --> 00:24:45,500
Monks are more shrewd than us,
247
00:24:47,139 --> 00:24:49,630
Besides, you have no common sense,
248
00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:51,934
Your great schemes don't hold water,
249
00:24:52,545 --> 00:24:56,072
As for knowledge of men,
the less said the better,
250
00:24:56,849 --> 00:24:58,976
Face-to-face with your new parish,
251
00:24:59,185 --> 00:25:01,710
you cut an odd figure,
252
00:25:02,221 --> 00:25:03,688
And so?
253
00:25:05,724 --> 00:25:07,191
So? Well, carry on,
254
00:25:07,293 --> 00:25:09,386
What else can I say?
255
00:25:22,408 --> 00:25:23,841
A bad night,
256
00:25:25,611 --> 00:25:28,842
At 3,'00 a.m., I took my lantern
and went to the church,
257
00:25:40,759 --> 00:25:43,091
I never endeavored
to pray so much,
258
00:25:43,596 --> 00:25:45,689
At first quietly, calmly,
259
00:25:45,898 --> 00:25:49,857
then with an almost desperate will
that made my heart tremble,
260
00:26:08,020 --> 00:26:10,750
This morning I received a letter
written on cheap paper,
261
00:26:10,956 --> 00:26:12,947
unsigned,
262
00:26:14,326 --> 00:26:17,261
"A well-wisher advises you
to seek a transfer to another parish,
263
00:26:18,364 --> 00:26:20,229
The sooner, the better,
264
00:26:22,468 --> 00:26:25,528
I feel sorry for you,
but I repeat: Get out"
265
00:26:46,292 --> 00:26:48,192
I made a strange discovery,
266
00:26:59,104 --> 00:27:01,436
The handwriting was identical
267
00:28:00,799 --> 00:28:02,858
Another terrible night,
268
00:28:03,936 --> 00:28:06,871
It was raining so hard
I didn't dare go to the church,
269
00:28:17,349 --> 00:28:19,214
I couldn't pray,
270
00:28:28,093 --> 00:28:30,857
I know very well that
the desire to pray is already prayer,
271
00:28:30,963 --> 00:28:33,363
and that God couldn't ask for more,
272
00:28:35,467 --> 00:28:37,662
But it wasn't a question of duty,
273
00:28:38,303 --> 00:28:41,864
At that moment, I needed prayer
like I needed air in my lungs
274
00:28:42,508 --> 00:28:44,533
or oxygen in my blood,
275
00:28:49,782 --> 00:28:52,546
Behind me, there was no longer
familiar day-to-day life
276
00:28:53,218 --> 00:28:55,584
which one can leave behind
in one fell swoop,
277
00:28:56,255 --> 00:28:58,587
Behind me there was nothing,
278
00:28:59,191 --> 00:29:00,886
and before me was a wall,
279
00:29:01,727 --> 00:29:03,319
A black wall,
280
00:29:06,231 --> 00:29:09,860
suddenly something seemed
to shatter in my breast,
281
00:29:10,335 --> 00:29:13,270
and I was seized by a trembling
that lasted over an hour,
282
00:29:24,183 --> 00:29:26,549
What if it had only been an illusion?
283
00:29:26,685 --> 00:29:29,449
Even the saints knew
their hour of failure and loss,
284
00:29:34,927 --> 00:29:38,328
I lay face-down at the foot of my bed,
285
00:29:39,264 --> 00:29:42,256
I only wanted to show
complete acceptance
286
00:29:42,468 --> 00:29:43,935
and surrender,
287
00:29:46,371 --> 00:29:49,772
The same solitude, same silence,
288
00:29:51,243 --> 00:29:54,406
but this time, no hope in breaking
through the obstacle,
289
00:29:54,980 --> 00:29:57,471
There's no obstacle, Nothing,
290
00:30:30,282 --> 00:30:32,113
God has left me,
291
00:30:33,252 --> 00:30:35,049
Of this I'm sure,
292
00:30:45,430 --> 00:30:47,625
I haven't slackened in my duties,
293
00:30:48,233 --> 00:30:51,999
The incredible improvement
in my health makes my work easier,
294
00:31:05,317 --> 00:31:07,251
Dr. Delbende?
Are you sure?
295
00:31:07,452 --> 00:31:10,683
Dr. Delbende was found at the edge
of the woods near Bazancourt,
296
00:31:10,789 --> 00:31:13,155
with his skull blown out,
already cold,
297
00:31:13,325 --> 00:31:16,351
He rolled to the bottom
of a tree-lined ditch,
298
00:31:16,562 --> 00:31:20,157
It's thought his gun
got caught in the branches
299
00:31:20,799 --> 00:31:22,926
and went off,
300
00:31:44,923 --> 00:31:48,381
The priest from Torcy kept vigil
for two nights by his friend's corpse,
301
00:31:48,727 --> 00:31:50,991
He was visibly anguished,
302
00:31:52,431 --> 00:31:55,332
It was rumored that
Dr. Delbende had committed suicide,
303
00:32:22,527 --> 00:32:25,052
You don't think Dr. Delbende
might have -
304
00:32:26,231 --> 00:32:28,290
He was very disheartened,
305
00:32:29,034 --> 00:32:32,367
He believed up to the very end
that his patients would return,
306
00:32:33,438 --> 00:32:37,841
His younger colleagues spread the word
that he knew nothing of antiseptics,
307
00:32:38,443 --> 00:32:40,001
and his patients fled,
308
00:32:40,112 --> 00:32:42,444
The paying ones, of course,
Not the others,
309
00:32:43,282 --> 00:32:46,740
But the truth is
he'd lost his faith
310
00:32:47,686 --> 00:32:50,246
and couldn't get over not believing,
311
00:32:51,790 --> 00:32:54,884
I was in no condition to listen
to his confidences just then,
312
00:32:56,695 --> 00:32:59,630
They were like molten lead
poured on an open wound,
313
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,368
I have never suffered so much
314
00:33:04,069 --> 00:33:07,561
and likely never will again,
even when I die,
315
00:33:08,106 --> 00:33:10,301
If he really killed himself...
316
00:33:12,944 --> 00:33:13,933
do you think-
317
00:33:14,046 --> 00:33:16,947
If anyone else
were to ask me that!
318
00:33:17,149 --> 00:33:18,741
God is the only judge,
319
00:33:18,950 --> 00:33:21,009
Dr. Delbende was a just man,
320
00:33:21,553 --> 00:33:23,578
and God is judge of the just,
321
00:33:25,924 --> 00:33:27,721
We're at war, after all,
322
00:33:27,926 --> 00:33:30,258
One must face the enemy,
323
00:33:30,462 --> 00:33:33,795
"Face up to it," as he used to say,
You remember his motto?
324
00:34:15,273 --> 00:34:17,298
No, I haven't lost faith,
325
00:34:18,610 --> 00:34:21,078
This abrupt and cruel ordeal
326
00:34:21,279 --> 00:34:24,442
may have upset my reason, my nerves,
327
00:34:25,283 --> 00:34:27,615
But my faith remains,
I can feel it,
328
00:34:39,631 --> 00:34:41,724
I stood up with the feeling,
329
00:34:41,933 --> 00:34:44,663
the certainty, that I had heard
someone calling me,
330
00:34:51,443 --> 00:34:54,207
Yet I knew I wouldn't find anyone,
331
00:35:41,792 --> 00:35:43,555
You'll keep your word?
332
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,456
Young lady, I will do what I promise,
333
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,501
I was overwhelmed,
334
00:36:00,210 --> 00:36:02,770
I know nothing of people
and never will,
335
00:36:13,657 --> 00:36:15,557
I ran to Torcy,
336
00:36:33,443 --> 00:36:35,536
Father is away,
337
00:36:36,546 --> 00:36:39,538
He won't be back
for eight or ten days at least,
338
00:36:42,152 --> 00:36:45,053
I was so disappointed
I had to lean against the wall,
339
00:37:14,651 --> 00:37:16,448
You know I can't receive you here,
340
00:37:18,455 --> 00:37:20,787
What you promised to do
341
00:37:20,957 --> 00:37:22,652
must be done today,
342
00:37:23,393 --> 00:37:25,088
Tomorrow will be too late,
343
00:37:26,129 --> 00:37:28,324
She knew I�d been to the rectory,
344
00:37:28,732 --> 00:37:31,530
She is as sly as an animal!
345
00:37:33,170 --> 00:37:36,799
I trusted her,
You get used to her eyes,
346
00:37:37,407 --> 00:37:39,272
You imagine they're kind,
347
00:37:40,644 --> 00:37:43,169
Now I�d like to tear out
those eyes of hers
348
00:37:44,714 --> 00:37:47,239
and stamp on them
with my foot, like this!
349
00:37:47,984 --> 00:37:49,713
Have you no fear of God?
350
00:37:49,820 --> 00:37:51,583
I'll kill her!
351
00:37:51,755 --> 00:37:54,019
Kill her or kill myself,
352
00:37:54,791 --> 00:37:57,021
You mustn't stay here,
353
00:37:59,029 --> 00:38:01,862
There's only one place
I can listen to you,
354
00:38:09,106 --> 00:38:10,733
On your knees,
355
00:38:14,144 --> 00:38:16,271
I don't want to confess,
356
00:38:18,882 --> 00:38:21,510
You know quite well
all I ask is justice,
357
00:38:24,988 --> 00:38:27,786
Ever since that beastly
woman came to the house -
358
00:38:27,991 --> 00:38:28,958
Stay calm,
359
00:38:29,159 --> 00:38:30,854
I am calm,
360
00:38:31,394 --> 00:38:33,954
I wish you could be as calm as I am,
361
00:38:35,866 --> 00:38:37,800
I heard them last night,
362
00:38:38,535 --> 00:38:40,935
I was under their window,
363
00:38:41,538 --> 00:38:43,369
They don't even draw the curtains!
364
00:38:44,674 --> 00:38:47,541
I know they'll get rid of me somehow,
365
00:38:48,678 --> 00:38:50,771
I am to leave next Tuesday,
366
00:38:51,114 --> 00:38:54,447
Mama finds it very proper
and practical,
367
00:38:55,585 --> 00:38:58,816
Proper!
It's enough to make you laugh,
368
00:39:00,590 --> 00:39:03,457
But she believes
anything they tell her,
369
00:39:03,994 --> 00:39:06,554
like a frog swallowing flies,
370
00:39:06,830 --> 00:39:08,821
Don't speak of your mother that way,
371
00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:12,063
You don't love her,
372
00:39:13,904 --> 00:39:16,065
You even -
- Go on, I hate her!
373
00:39:16,306 --> 00:39:17,967
I've always hated her,
374
00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:20,309
She's a fool and a coward,
375
00:39:20,510 --> 00:39:22,842
Never could stand up
for her own happiness,
376
00:39:23,947 --> 00:39:25,938
Why do you look at me like that?
377
00:39:26,983 --> 00:39:28,780
Leave me alone,
378
00:39:28,885 --> 00:39:30,944
If you loved your father,
379
00:39:31,321 --> 00:39:33,448
you wouldn't be
in this state of revolt,
380
00:39:33,557 --> 00:39:35,821
I no longer respect him,
381
00:39:36,293 --> 00:39:39,387
I think I hate him,
I hate them all,
382
00:39:40,230 --> 00:39:42,630
I'll get my revenge,
I'll run away,
383
00:39:42,832 --> 00:39:45,300
I'll disgrace myself
and make sure he hears of it,
384
00:39:45,402 --> 00:39:47,302
Then he'll suffer as I have,
385
00:39:48,471 --> 00:39:51,031
It seemed I could read on her lips
386
00:39:51,241 --> 00:39:53,300
other words that went unspoken,
387
00:39:53,476 --> 00:39:55,205
You'll do no such thing,
388
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,480
I know that's not
what's really tempting you,
389
00:40:02,786 --> 00:40:04,583
Give me that letter,
390
00:40:06,489 --> 00:40:08,286
The letter you have in your pocket,
391
00:40:11,428 --> 00:40:13,794
I said whatever came to me,
392
00:40:14,130 --> 00:40:18,191
and yet, strangely enough,
I was sure I was right,
393
00:40:18,435 --> 00:40:20,335
Give it to me,
394
00:40:23,473 --> 00:40:26,738
she didn't try to resist
and handed me the letter,
395
00:40:40,657 --> 00:40:42,682
You must be the devil!
396
00:41:05,649 --> 00:41:07,913
TO MY FATHER
397
00:41:08,818 --> 00:41:11,616
I threw the letter
into the fire, unread,
398
00:41:12,155 --> 00:41:16,216
Hers was a distress no priest
should approach without trembling,
399
00:41:17,594 --> 00:41:21,121
I thought I read suicide in her eyes,
400
00:41:22,465 --> 00:41:24,831
But perhaps it was
only a fleeting impulse
401
00:41:25,035 --> 00:41:27,196
whose very fervor made it suspect,
402
00:41:27,871 --> 00:41:31,637
I was nothing
but a miserable, unworthy priest,
403
00:41:33,043 --> 00:41:36,604
I shouldn't have received Miss Chantal
or listened to her,
404
00:41:37,547 --> 00:41:39,208
God was punishing me,
405
00:41:39,949 --> 00:41:42,474
I knew my words
could not be taken back
406
00:41:42,686 --> 00:41:44,847
and that I had to see it to the end,
407
00:42:18,321 --> 00:42:20,846
I fear she may do something rash,
408
00:42:22,392 --> 00:42:24,360
That's the last thing she'd do,
409
00:42:24,561 --> 00:42:26,722
She's terribly afraid of death,
410
00:42:28,231 --> 00:42:30,722
Those are the ones
who kill themselves,
411
00:42:32,469 --> 00:42:36,565
Someone must have told you that,
It's outside your personal experience,
412
00:42:38,108 --> 00:42:40,008
Are you yourself afraid of death?
413
00:42:43,980 --> 00:42:45,470
Yes, madam,
414
00:42:47,016 --> 00:42:49,541
But let me be quite frank:
415
00:42:51,755 --> 00:42:54,087
To die is difficult,
416
00:42:55,959 --> 00:42:58,553
Especially for the proud,
417
00:43:00,830 --> 00:43:03,094
I fear my death less than yours,
418
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,144
My husband can keep
whomever he likes here,
419
00:43:20,316 --> 00:43:22,750
Besides, the governess has no money,
420
00:43:23,052 --> 00:43:26,510
Perhaps he's been too attentive,
too familiar...
421
00:43:28,792 --> 00:43:31,022
but suppose I don't care?
422
00:43:31,761 --> 00:43:35,128
After putting up all these years
with countless infidelities,
423
00:43:35,265 --> 00:43:37,631
suffering absurd humiliations,
424
00:43:38,368 --> 00:43:41,098
shall I now, as an old woman -
425
00:43:41,371 --> 00:43:42,668
to which I�m well resigned -
426
00:43:42,772 --> 00:43:45,570
open my eyes, put up a fight,
take chances? For what?
427
00:43:45,775 --> 00:43:48,505
Shall I care more about
my daughter's pride than my own?
428
00:43:48,678 --> 00:43:51,044
Let her put up with it as I have,
429
00:43:51,247 --> 00:43:52,874
Madam, be careful,
430
00:43:53,082 --> 00:43:54,310
Of what?
431
00:43:54,517 --> 00:43:56,917
Of whom? Of you?
432
00:43:57,020 --> 00:43:58,783
Let's not over dramatize,
433
00:43:59,088 --> 00:44:02,888
Such thoughts don't dictate my conduct,
There's nothing in my past to blush about,
434
00:44:02,992 --> 00:44:05,392
Blessed is sin if it teaches us shame,
435
00:44:05,495 --> 00:44:09,192
Nothing but words!
Are you trying to worry me?
436
00:44:10,166 --> 00:44:12,794
Well, you won't,
I have too much sense,
437
00:44:22,679 --> 00:44:26,581
Anyway, we'll be judged by our acts,
What have I done wrong?
438
00:44:27,817 --> 00:44:30,217
You're throwing a child
out of her home,
439
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:32,784
and you know it's forever,
440
00:44:32,889 --> 00:44:34,652
It's my husband's wish,
441
00:44:34,757 --> 00:44:36,190
If he's wrong -
442
00:44:36,392 --> 00:44:38,792
He believes she'll come back,
443
00:44:39,195 --> 00:44:41,220
And do you believe that?
444
00:44:46,436 --> 00:44:49,269
- God will break you,
- Break me?
445
00:44:50,039 --> 00:44:51,802
He has broken me already,
446
00:44:57,046 --> 00:44:58,980
God took my son from me,
447
00:44:59,415 --> 00:45:01,542
What more can He do to me?
448
00:45:01,751 --> 00:45:03,309
I no longer fear Him,
449
00:45:04,354 --> 00:45:06,982
God took him away for a time,
450
00:45:07,423 --> 00:45:08,720
but your hardness -
451
00:45:08,825 --> 00:45:09,917
Silence,
452
00:45:11,127 --> 00:45:13,186
No, I will not be silent,
453
00:45:13,596 --> 00:45:16,565
The coldness of your heart
may keep you from him forever,
454
00:45:17,567 --> 00:45:21,003
That's blasphemy!
God does not take revenge!
455
00:45:21,104 --> 00:45:23,800
Those are mere human words,
456
00:45:24,173 --> 00:45:26,073
with no meaning except for you,
457
00:45:26,276 --> 00:45:28,335
Are you saying my son might hate me?
458
00:45:28,978 --> 00:45:32,311
You will no longer see
or know each other,
459
00:45:32,415 --> 00:45:34,542
No sin could make
such a punishment just,
460
00:45:34,651 --> 00:45:36,414
This is madness!
461
00:45:36,519 --> 00:45:38,009
A sick man's dreams,
462
00:45:38,221 --> 00:45:42,157
With my back against the wall
before this imperious woman,
463
00:45:43,026 --> 00:45:46,427
I looked like a guilty man
trying in vain to justify himself,
464
00:45:47,630 --> 00:45:49,530
Perhaps that's what I was,
465
00:45:50,066 --> 00:45:52,864
Did you hear me?
Did you understand?
466
00:45:54,871 --> 00:45:56,668
No, madam, I didn't hear,
467
00:45:58,808 --> 00:46:01,470
Sit down, You're in no condition
to go anywhere,
468
00:46:02,845 --> 00:46:06,303
I was saying that no sin on earth
could make such punishment just,
469
00:46:07,050 --> 00:46:09,484
Nothing can part us
from those we have loved
470
00:46:09,686 --> 00:46:12,154
more than life,
more than salivation itself,
471
00:46:12,388 --> 00:46:15,084
Love is stronger than death,
Your scriptures say so,
472
00:46:15,291 --> 00:46:17,725
We did not invent love,
473
00:46:18,528 --> 00:46:20,996
It has its order, its law,
474
00:46:21,664 --> 00:46:23,461
God is its master,
475
00:46:24,367 --> 00:46:26,528
He is not the master of love,
476
00:46:26,970 --> 00:46:28,801
He is love itself,
477
00:46:30,773 --> 00:46:33,674
If you would love, don't place yourself
beyond love's reach,
478
00:46:33,776 --> 00:46:36,643
This is insane! You speak to me
as you would to a criminal,
479
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,175
Do my husband's infidelities
480
00:46:39,282 --> 00:46:42,547
and my daughter's indifference and
rebellion and hatred count for nothing?
481
00:46:42,652 --> 00:46:44,882
You might as well
say it's all my fault!
482
00:46:47,423 --> 00:46:50,722
No one knows what can come
of an evil thought in the long run,
483
00:46:52,695 --> 00:46:55,630
Our hidden faults poison
the air others breathe,
484
00:46:55,765 --> 00:46:58,859
You'd never get through the day
if you dwelt on such thoughts!
485
00:47:01,270 --> 00:47:02,897
I believe that, madam,
486
00:47:04,340 --> 00:47:06,900
I believe if God gave us a clear idea
487
00:47:07,644 --> 00:47:11,307
of how closely we are bound
to each other in good and evil,
488
00:47:12,248 --> 00:47:14,079
we truly could not live,
489
00:47:14,283 --> 00:47:17,013
Pray tell, what is this hidden sin?
490
00:47:22,692 --> 00:47:24,626
You must resign yourself,
491
00:47:25,528 --> 00:47:26,995
Open your heart,
492
00:47:27,196 --> 00:47:29,255
Resign myself? To what?
493
00:47:31,801 --> 00:47:33,564
Am I not resigned?
494
00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:35,738
If I weren't, I�d be dead,
495
00:47:36,339 --> 00:47:39,365
Resigned?
I've been too much so,
496
00:47:39,575 --> 00:47:41,873
I should have killed myself,
497
00:47:42,645 --> 00:47:45,170
That's not the resignation I mean,
498
00:47:45,381 --> 00:47:47,372
Then what? I go to Mass,
499
00:47:47,483 --> 00:47:50,452
I could have given up worship
altogether, indeed, I thought of it,
500
00:47:52,355 --> 00:47:54,289
How dare you treat God like that!
501
00:47:54,390 --> 00:47:57,382
I lived in peace,
and I should have died in peace,
502
00:47:57,827 --> 00:47:59,454
That is no longer possible,
503
00:47:59,662 --> 00:48:01,630
God has ceased to matter to me,
504
00:48:01,798 --> 00:48:05,495
What will you gain by making me
admit I hate Him, you fool?
505
00:48:09,305 --> 00:48:11,364
You don't hate Him now,
506
00:48:11,874 --> 00:48:14,274
Now at last you are face-to-face,
507
00:48:14,811 --> 00:48:16,904
He and you,
508
00:48:31,427 --> 00:48:34,294
- Do you swear-
- You can't bargain with God,
509
00:48:34,397 --> 00:48:36,627
You must yield to Him
unconditionally,
510
00:48:37,934 --> 00:48:40,061
But I can assure you
511
00:48:40,169 --> 00:48:43,138
there isn't one kingdom for the living
and one for the dead,
512
00:48:44,407 --> 00:48:47,342
There is only the kingdom of God,
and we are within it,
513
00:48:48,611 --> 00:48:51,273
You know what I was
wondering a moment ago?
514
00:48:51,881 --> 00:48:54,042
Perhaps I shouldn�t tell you,
515
00:48:55,485 --> 00:48:57,214
I was saying to myself,
516
00:48:57,353 --> 00:49:01,187
"If there were, in this world or the other,
some place free from God,
517
00:49:01,824 --> 00:49:05,055
if it meant suffering a death
every second, eternally,
518
00:49:06,162 --> 00:49:09,928
I'd carry my son to that place,
519
00:49:11,267 --> 00:49:12,894
and I�d say to God:
520
00:49:13,102 --> 00:49:15,627
'Do Your worst and crush us!"'
521
00:49:16,606 --> 00:49:17,903
Is that monstrous?
522
00:49:22,044 --> 00:49:23,944
What do you mean, no?
523
00:49:25,047 --> 00:49:26,912
Because I too...
524
00:49:28,317 --> 00:49:30,114
have felt that way at times,
525
00:49:30,319 --> 00:49:32,913
Dr. Delbende's image was before me,
526
00:49:33,489 --> 00:49:36,686
His old, unflinching eyes
were on me,
527
00:49:37,293 --> 00:49:39,454
Eyes which I feared to read,
528
00:49:43,566 --> 00:49:46,057
If our God were the god
of the pagans or philosophers,
529
00:49:46,369 --> 00:49:48,929
though he might take refuge
in the highest heavens,
530
00:49:49,872 --> 00:49:52,432
our misery would drag him down,
531
00:49:53,009 --> 00:49:55,341
But as you know,
ours did not wait,
532
00:49:56,312 --> 00:49:58,507
You might shake your fist at Him,
533
00:49:59,115 --> 00:50:00,844
spit in His face,
534
00:50:01,050 --> 00:50:02,608
whip Him with rods,
535
00:50:02,852 --> 00:50:05,320
and finally nail Him to a cross,
536
00:50:06,355 --> 00:50:07,845
What would it matter?
537
00:50:07,957 --> 00:50:10,949
It is already done,
- What must I say to Him?
538
00:50:11,561 --> 00:50:12,528
Say:
539
00:50:13,896 --> 00:50:15,625
Thy kingdom come,
540
00:50:16,299 --> 00:50:18,164
Thy kingdom come,
541
00:50:19,302 --> 00:50:21,236
Thy will be done,
542
00:50:22,505 --> 00:50:23,529
I can't,
543
00:50:23,739 --> 00:50:26,105
It's as if I were losing him
twice over,
544
00:50:26,776 --> 00:50:30,405
The kingdom whose coming
you have just wished for is yours and his,
545
00:50:35,685 --> 00:50:37,880
Then let that kingdom come!
546
00:50:47,063 --> 00:50:49,759
I must have hated God
to insult him as I did,
547
00:50:50,466 --> 00:50:53,299
I might have died
with that hatred on my heart,
548
00:51:01,177 --> 00:51:03,645
An hour ago,
my life seemed to me in order,
549
00:51:04,714 --> 00:51:06,705
each thing in its place,
550
00:51:08,117 --> 00:51:11,484
You have left nothing standing,
551
00:51:12,488 --> 00:51:14,513
Give it to God just as it is,
552
00:51:14,624 --> 00:51:16,888
You can't understand,
553
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,619
You think I�m so quickly meek!
554
00:51:20,029 --> 00:51:21,929
The pride still left in me -
555
00:51:22,031 --> 00:51:24,465
Give Him your pride
along with everything else,
556
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,097
Give Him everything,
557
00:51:50,126 --> 00:51:51,718
What madness,
558
00:51:52,461 --> 00:51:54,292
Forgive me,
559
00:51:54,964 --> 00:51:56,864
God is no torturer,
560
00:51:57,633 --> 00:51:59,794
He wants us to be
merciful with ourselves,
561
00:52:01,037 --> 00:52:04,336
What's done is done,
There's nothing I can do,
562
00:52:25,094 --> 00:52:26,686
Peace be with you,
563
00:52:37,171 --> 00:52:40,163
I had to leave immediately
thereafter for Dombasle
564
00:52:40,374 --> 00:52:42,774
and arrived home very late,
565
00:52:52,164 --> 00:52:56,032
Clovis, the old gardener, gave me
a parcel from the countess,
566
00:52:56,936 --> 00:52:58,904
I knew what was in it,
567
00:52:59,071 --> 00:53:02,097
The small medallion, now empty,
and its broken chain,
568
00:53:03,008 --> 00:53:04,737
There was a letter as well,
569
00:53:07,246 --> 00:53:09,840
"Dear Father, the hopeless
memory of one young child
570
00:53:10,049 --> 00:53:13,041
had me isolated from everything
in a terrifying solitude,
571
00:53:13,853 --> 00:53:17,016
and it seems as if another child
has drawn me out of it,
572
00:53:18,157 --> 00:53:21,354
I hope I don't hurt your pride
by calling you a child,
573
00:53:21,827 --> 00:53:25,194
You are one,
and may God keep you so always,
574
00:53:29,168 --> 00:53:31,398
I ask myself how you did it,
575
00:53:31,770 --> 00:53:33,704
or, rather, I have ceased to ask,
576
00:53:33,806 --> 00:53:35,273
All is well,
577
00:53:36,108 --> 00:53:38,440
I didn't believe resignation
was possible,
578
00:53:39,245 --> 00:53:41,975
and in fact it's not resignation
that's come over me,
579
00:53:42,181 --> 00:53:45,116
I'm not resigned - I�m happy,
580
00:53:47,086 --> 00:53:48,849
I desire nothing,
581
00:53:55,661 --> 00:53:58,653
I had to tell you these things
this very evening,
582
00:54:00,132 --> 00:54:02,862
We shall never speak of them
ever again, shall we?
583
00:54:02,968 --> 00:54:04,492
Never,
584
00:54:05,371 --> 00:54:07,635
It is good, that word 'never,'
585
00:54:08,474 --> 00:54:11,170
I feel it expresses, beyond words,
586
00:54:11,710 --> 00:54:14,110
the peace you have given me,"
587
00:54:36,669 --> 00:54:39,035
The countess died last night,
588
00:55:19,044 --> 00:55:21,945
I arrived at the manor
streaming with sweat,
589
00:55:27,386 --> 00:55:29,684
The count pretended not to see me,
590
00:55:30,789 --> 00:55:34,190
She fell out of bed,
breaking objects on the night table,
591
00:55:34,393 --> 00:55:35,951
Angina pectoris, no doubt,
592
00:55:36,161 --> 00:55:38,994
She hasn't been quite herself
for some time,
593
00:55:48,907 --> 00:55:52,570
On her face I had hoped to see-
I don't know-perhaps a smile,
594
00:55:54,246 --> 00:55:55,975
But she wasn't smiling,
595
00:56:03,822 --> 00:56:06,916
My arm was like lead
in raising it to bless her,
596
00:56:26,145 --> 00:56:28,045
I left the manor about 2:00,
597
00:56:28,147 --> 00:56:31,674
and catechism class ended
much later than I thought it would,
598
00:56:40,059 --> 00:56:44,086
Upon returning, I found
a continuous parade of cars,
599
00:56:44,563 --> 00:56:47,327
and the murmur of voices
filled the manor,
600
00:56:49,868 --> 00:56:52,803
I'd have liked to spend
the night at the countess� side,
601
00:56:54,540 --> 00:56:56,474
but the nuns were there,
602
00:56:56,575 --> 00:57:02,036
and the canon, the count's uncle,
had decided to keep watch with them,
603
00:57:03,482 --> 00:57:05,416
I didn't dare insist,
604
00:57:10,756 --> 00:57:13,281
I entered her room for the last time,
605
00:57:19,898 --> 00:57:23,356
The memory of our struggle
606
00:57:23,569 --> 00:57:26,800
came back so vividly
that I thought I would faint,
607
00:57:44,490 --> 00:57:46,754
I parted the muslin veil
608
00:57:47,192 --> 00:57:49,251
and brushed her forehead
with my fingers,
609
00:57:51,897 --> 00:57:54,092
I had said to her,
"Peace be with you"
610
00:57:54,767 --> 00:57:57,292
and she'd received
that peace on her knees,
611
00:57:59,705 --> 00:58:03,766
What wonder, that one can give
what one doesn't possess, I
612
00:58:05,210 --> 00:58:07,735
Oh, miracle of our empty hands, I
613
00:58:27,132 --> 00:58:29,600
I thought I heard murmuring
as I passed,
614
00:58:30,235 --> 00:58:32,396
They seemed to be talking
about me,
615
00:58:50,322 --> 00:58:52,722
You saw my great-niece here?
616
00:58:53,458 --> 00:58:55,392
Yes, Canon,
617
00:58:55,794 --> 00:58:57,625
Here, and in the church,
618
00:58:58,230 --> 00:59:00,323
She worked her way around you,
I've no doubt,
619
00:59:02,067 --> 00:59:04,160
I treated her harshly,
620
00:59:04,703 --> 00:59:06,898
Indeed, I think I humiliated her,
621
00:59:08,073 --> 00:59:10,268
Do you feel you influence her?
622
00:59:11,844 --> 00:59:13,277
Not at the moment,
623
00:59:15,247 --> 00:59:19,081
But she won't forget I stood up to her
and that you cannot deceive God,
624
00:59:19,585 --> 00:59:22,145
Her version of your meeting
is very different,
625
00:59:22,254 --> 00:59:26,418
Miss Chantal is too proud
not to blush one day at such a lie,
626
00:59:26,992 --> 00:59:28,289
She'll feel ashamed,
627
00:59:29,228 --> 00:59:31,093
and she needs to feel ashamed,
628
00:59:33,665 --> 00:59:34,893
What about you?
629
00:59:35,901 --> 00:59:37,892
Oh, me...
630
00:59:40,172 --> 00:59:42,003
You neglect your health,
631
00:59:42,107 --> 00:59:44,541
My stomach is very touchy,
632
00:59:44,710 --> 00:59:46,940
It digests only bread, fruit, wine,
633
00:59:47,045 --> 00:59:51,573
In your state, I fear wine
may do more harm than good,
634
00:59:52,784 --> 00:59:55,275
The illusion of health is not health,
635
00:59:57,890 --> 00:59:58,754
Father,
636
00:59:58,857 --> 01:00:03,260
there probably aren't two things
we agree on about how to run a parish,
637
01:00:04,162 --> 01:00:06,892
but this is your parish
to run as you see fit,
638
01:00:07,099 --> 01:00:09,693
One has only to hear you,
639
01:00:10,636 --> 01:00:14,128
I needn't know what happened
between you and the late countess,
640
01:00:15,507 --> 01:00:18,772
but I wish to cut short
some foolish and dangerous talk,
641
01:00:20,178 --> 01:00:22,112
My nephew is moving
heaven and earth,
642
01:00:22,948 --> 01:00:25,610
The bishop, a simple man,
takes him seriously,
643
01:00:27,519 --> 01:00:30,750
Sum up in a line or two
your conversation of the other day,
644
01:00:32,624 --> 01:00:34,717
I'm not asking you
to be inaccurate,
645
01:00:35,594 --> 01:00:42,227
still less to reveal anything
confided to you as a priest,
646
01:00:44,136 --> 01:00:48,232
The paper won't leave my pocket except
to be placed before his grace's eyes,
647
01:00:50,442 --> 01:00:51,841
You distrust me?
648
01:00:51,944 --> 01:00:55,607
I don't see how there could be
any report of such a conversation,
649
01:00:57,516 --> 01:00:59,541
There were no witnesses,
650
01:00:59,818 --> 01:01:03,515
The countess alone
could give authority for that,
651
01:01:07,459 --> 01:01:10,121
Very well,
Let's drop the idea,
652
01:01:12,130 --> 01:01:14,257
We'll meet again tomorrow,
if you agree,
653
01:01:14,833 --> 01:01:19,327
I meant to prepare you
for your conversation with my nephew,
654
01:01:19,838 --> 01:01:22,966
You're not one of those
who can speak and yet say nothing,
655
01:01:23,608 --> 01:01:26,270
but unfortunately
that's what is called for,
656
01:01:27,045 --> 01:01:30,811
But what have I done wrong?
What have they got against me?
657
01:01:31,083 --> 01:01:33,108
That you are what you are,
658
01:01:33,318 --> 01:01:36,253
and nothing can be done
about that, my child,
659
01:01:36,688 --> 01:01:39,657
People don't hate your simplicity-
they shield themselves from it,
660
01:01:40,325 --> 01:01:42,953
It's like a flame that burns them,
661
01:01:49,434 --> 01:01:51,732
I went to the manor
as I'd promised,
662
01:01:56,875 --> 01:01:59,844
Miss Chantal came to the door,
which made me suspicious,
663
01:02:12,357 --> 01:02:14,325
she almost pushed me
into the drawing room,
664
01:02:14,426 --> 01:02:16,155
The shutters were closed,
665
01:02:27,906 --> 01:02:29,874
The countess� armchair
666
01:02:30,442 --> 01:02:33,969
and the blackened logs
were still in the same place,
667
01:02:41,420 --> 01:02:44,355
Young lady, I�ve very little time,
668
01:02:47,526 --> 01:02:49,255
I will speak standing up,
669
01:02:52,464 --> 01:02:53,795
Why?
670
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:57,462
My place is not here,
and neither is yours,
671
01:02:59,204 --> 01:03:01,195
Are you afraid of the dead?
672
01:03:16,121 --> 01:03:19,522
The governess is packing
and leaves this evening,
673
01:03:20,092 --> 01:03:22,322
You see, I get what I want,
674
01:03:22,727 --> 01:03:24,922
Little good it will do you,
675
01:03:25,730 --> 01:03:28,722
If you stay as you are,
you'll always find someone to hate,
676
01:03:29,835 --> 01:03:32,463
But the only person
you really hate is yourself,
677
01:03:32,838 --> 01:03:35,705
I'd hate myself the same
if didn't get what I wanted,
678
01:03:36,775 --> 01:03:38,766
I must be happy! Otherwise -
679
01:03:40,679 --> 01:03:42,203
Anyway, it's their fault,
680
01:03:42,347 --> 01:03:44,975
Why keep me cooped up
in this ghastly place?
681
01:03:45,617 --> 01:03:48,609
Blood pounding in my veins,
but never allowed to raise my voice!
682
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:52,884
Hunched all day over boring needlework,
biting my tongue!
683
01:03:53,425 --> 01:03:55,052
It's awful!
684
01:03:57,429 --> 01:03:59,761
That's when I can feel -
I don't know -
685
01:04:01,099 --> 01:04:04,125
this extraordinary force
building up inside me,
686
01:04:05,070 --> 01:04:08,005
Life itself won't be
long enough to let it all out,
687
01:04:08,473 --> 01:04:10,703
Aren't you ashamed
of such chatter?
688
01:04:22,220 --> 01:04:24,450
The count arrived just then
from the fields,
689
01:04:25,056 --> 01:04:28,287
smoking his pipe
with a contented air,
690
01:04:30,729 --> 01:04:32,287
Has my daughter given you
691
01:04:32,497 --> 01:04:36,524
the papers from
my father-in-law's funeral?
692
01:04:37,035 --> 01:04:39,230
I should like this one
to be the same,
693
01:04:39,437 --> 01:04:42,099
- She gave me nothing,
- Didn't you see her?
694
01:04:44,309 --> 01:04:47,039
Father and I spoke of other things,
695
01:04:47,846 --> 01:04:50,576
You ought to give him a free hand,
696
01:04:51,149 --> 01:04:53,447
All these complications
are ridiculous,
697
01:04:53,752 --> 01:04:56,653
You should sign
the governess' check, too,
698
01:04:57,155 --> 01:05:00,682
Remember she's leaving this evening,
- She's not staying for the funeral?
699
01:05:01,126 --> 01:05:02,991
Everyone's sure to wonder why,
700
01:05:03,094 --> 01:05:04,686
Everyone?
701
01:05:04,930 --> 01:05:08,161
I'd be surprised
if anyone noticed her absence,
702
01:05:08,266 --> 01:05:10,826
And six months' wages?
That's ridiculous!
703
01:05:11,703 --> 01:05:15,139
She deserves a bit of a break,
704
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,470
Life here hasn't been much fun,
705
01:05:18,743 --> 01:05:21,075
Your checkbook is in the desk,
706
01:05:21,580 --> 01:05:23,070
Later, later,
707
01:05:23,982 --> 01:05:25,108
Very well,
708
01:05:26,251 --> 01:05:29,550
I only wanted to spare you
having to discuss it with her,
709
01:05:29,821 --> 01:05:31,584
She's quite distressed,
710
01:05:33,325 --> 01:05:35,657
Father, I may as well be frank,
711
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:37,022
I respect the clergy,
712
01:05:37,128 --> 01:05:39,858
My family's always been on good
terms with your predecessors,
713
01:05:40,065 --> 01:05:42,659
terms of mutual respect
and friendship,
714
01:05:43,001 --> 01:05:45,629
But no priest shall meddle
in my family affairs!
715
01:05:54,346 --> 01:05:56,439
We get involved sometimes
against our will,
716
01:05:56,548 --> 01:05:59,415
You have been unwillingly,
or at least unknowingly,
717
01:05:59,517 --> 01:06:01,348
the cause of a great misfortune,
718
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:04,985
I don't wish you to speak
to my daughter again,
719
01:06:05,090 --> 01:06:07,354
How have I caused a misfortune?
720
01:06:07,459 --> 01:06:09,893
My uncle must have explained,
721
01:06:10,595 --> 01:06:13,564
Suffice it to say that
I disapprove of your indiscretions,
722
01:06:13,798 --> 01:06:18,599
Your character and your habits
are a danger to the parish,
723
01:06:19,638 --> 01:06:20,866
My habits?
724
01:06:21,906 --> 01:06:24,067
I bid you good day, Father,
725
01:07:17,295 --> 01:07:19,729
The countess was buried
this morning,
726
01:07:26,338 --> 01:07:29,535
Her long ordeal is over,
Now mine begins,
727
01:07:36,581 --> 01:07:41,780
Where did that mixture of joy and fear
come from when I'd blessed her?
728
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:43,917
That strange tenderness?
729
01:07:47,158 --> 01:07:49,251
she already belonged
to the unseen world,
730
01:07:50,562 --> 01:07:53,156
Without realizing it,
I'd glimpsed on her brow
731
01:07:53,264 --> 01:07:55,892
a reflection
of the peace of the dead,
732
01:07:56,501 --> 01:07:58,696
One must surely pay for that, I
733
01:08:07,078 --> 01:08:09,410
Though I thought I must
destroy those pages
734
01:08:09,514 --> 01:08:12,005
written in a moment of true delirium,
735
01:08:13,551 --> 01:08:15,951
yet I would bear witness
against my own self
736
01:08:18,590 --> 01:08:20,683
that my difficult ordeal,
737
01:08:21,426 --> 01:08:23,917
the greatest deception
of my poor life-
738
01:08:24,996 --> 01:08:27,521
for I couldn't imagine worse-
739
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:31,034
found me lacking in both resignation
740
01:08:31,736 --> 01:08:33,431
and courage,
741
01:08:34,672 --> 01:08:37,300
and that I was tempted to-
742
01:09:03,635 --> 01:09:06,331
- Did you come on my account?
- Never mind that, my boy,
743
01:09:06,538 --> 01:09:08,096
I do as I please,
744
01:09:08,540 --> 01:09:11,475
You should pay a little attention
to how you dress,
745
01:09:11,976 --> 01:09:13,773
That cape, for instance,
746
01:09:13,878 --> 01:09:15,607
And then there's your health,
747
01:09:15,713 --> 01:09:17,704
- I can't control that,
- Yes, you can,
748
01:09:17,916 --> 01:09:20,214
Your diet's absurd,
749
01:09:20,318 --> 01:09:22,912
Indeed, I must give you
a good talking to about that,
750
01:09:23,321 --> 01:09:26,813
And you're surprised
when you feel ill!
751
01:09:26,925 --> 01:09:29,359
I'd get stomach cramps too
if I ate as you do!
752
01:09:29,461 --> 01:09:34,228
As for the inner life,
my lad, I�m afraid it's the same thing:
753
01:09:34,899 --> 01:09:37,026
You don't pray enough,
754
01:09:37,235 --> 01:09:40,898
You suffer too much to pray,
That's how I see it,
755
01:09:43,208 --> 01:09:44,732
But I can't pray,
756
01:09:44,943 --> 01:09:47,138
If you can't pray,
just repeat the words!
757
01:09:47,812 --> 01:09:51,680
Listen, I don't think
I've been wrong about you,
758
01:09:52,217 --> 01:09:54,344
Try to answer this,
759
01:09:55,220 --> 01:09:57,688
I've thought a lot about vocation,
760
01:09:57,956 --> 01:09:59,617
We've all received the calling,
761
01:09:59,824 --> 01:10:02,452
only not in the same way,
762
01:10:03,261 --> 01:10:05,024
And to simplify things,
763
01:10:05,230 --> 01:10:08,927
I try to put each of us
in his place - in the Gospels,
764
01:10:09,734 --> 01:10:12,669
In short, I think- or I imagine -
765
01:10:12,804 --> 01:10:15,898
if our soul could drag
this wretched body of ours
766
01:10:16,541 --> 01:10:19,408
back up that slope of 2,000 years,
767
01:10:20,044 --> 01:10:22,979
it would lead it straight
to the very place where -
768
01:10:23,915 --> 01:10:26,076
What? What's the matter?
769
01:10:28,753 --> 01:10:30,243
Are you crying?
770
01:10:32,490 --> 01:10:35,550
I hadn't realized I was crying,
771
01:10:39,030 --> 01:10:42,431
The truth is that I always
return to the olive grove,
772
01:10:44,903 --> 01:10:47,963
It was a very familiar
and natural movement for my soul,
773
01:10:49,474 --> 01:10:51,704
I'd never realized it
until that moment,
774
01:10:53,745 --> 01:10:56,305
suddenly, Our Lord
had shown me grace
775
01:10:57,148 --> 01:10:59,412
and revealed through
my old master's lips
776
01:11:00,051 --> 01:11:03,509
that nothing would tear me
from my chosen place in eternity,
777
01:11:05,056 --> 01:11:07,422
I was a prisoner
of the Holy Agony,
778
01:11:16,534 --> 01:11:18,559
I didn't think you were such a child,
779
01:11:21,739 --> 01:11:23,764
Your nerves are shot to bits, my son,
780
01:11:45,496 --> 01:11:48,795
That's enough, now,
We can't stay here all day,
781
01:11:51,502 --> 01:11:55,438
After all, maybe God
means to keep you in misery,
782
01:11:56,441 --> 01:11:59,376
But trials never warp our judgment
783
01:11:59,644 --> 01:12:01,703
when the welfare of souls
is in question,
784
01:12:03,381 --> 01:12:06,942
I've been hearing
some disturbing things about you,
785
01:12:07,919 --> 01:12:10,410
But no matter, I know
how malicious people can be,
786
01:12:10,855 --> 01:12:14,723
But the foolish way you dealt
with the countess - melodrama!
787
01:12:15,526 --> 01:12:17,118
I don't understand,
788
01:12:17,662 --> 01:12:19,755
That business with the medallion,
789
01:12:21,132 --> 01:12:22,258
The medallion?
790
01:12:22,367 --> 01:12:26,303
Don't be silly! There was a witness,
Nothing miraculous about it,
791
01:12:26,504 --> 01:12:28,768
- Who saw us?
- Her daughter,
792
01:12:28,973 --> 01:12:31,066
You call that resignation?
793
01:12:31,175 --> 01:12:34,702
Forcing a mother to burn
the one relic of her dead child,
794
01:12:34,912 --> 01:12:38,678
It's like a story
from the Old Testament!
795
01:12:38,816 --> 01:12:41,080
And to speak of eternal separation!
796
01:12:41,753 --> 01:12:44,187
One doesn't blackmail souls,
my child,
797
01:12:45,623 --> 01:12:48,683
That's your version of what happened,
I could tell a different one,
798
01:12:49,961 --> 01:12:51,519
But it's essentially true,
799
01:12:51,629 --> 01:12:53,597
Is that all you can say?
800
01:12:54,666 --> 01:12:56,099
Yes,
801
01:13:02,106 --> 01:13:05,041
Whatever happens, don't see
the daughter again, She's a demon!
802
01:13:08,746 --> 01:13:10,907
I won't close my door to her,
803
01:13:12,717 --> 01:13:16,244
I'll close my door to no one
while I am the priest here,
804
01:13:16,354 --> 01:13:18,788
She claims her mother
fought you to the last,
805
01:13:18,990 --> 01:13:21,982
and that you left her upset
and spiritually distraught,
806
01:13:22,093 --> 01:13:23,060
Is that true?
807
01:13:26,164 --> 01:13:27,426
You left her-
808
01:13:27,532 --> 01:13:29,466
I left her with God,
809
01:13:29,567 --> 01:13:33,059
The memory of your harsh words
may have tormented her as she died,
810
01:13:35,940 --> 01:13:37,737
She died in peace,
811
01:13:38,710 --> 01:13:40,268
How would you know?
812
01:13:51,589 --> 01:13:53,147
In any case, she's dead now,
813
01:13:53,357 --> 01:13:55,120
What do you expect people to think?
814
01:13:55,993 --> 01:13:58,484
Scenes like that aren't good
for someone with heart trouble,
815
01:14:04,202 --> 01:14:06,602
I wasn't even tempted
to speak of the letter,
816
01:14:06,804 --> 01:14:08,601
I returned to the rectory,
817
01:14:10,675 --> 01:14:14,475
Instead of suffering, it felt like
a great weight had been lifted,
818
01:14:16,547 --> 01:14:20,347
That meeting with the priest
from Torcy was like a rehearsal
819
01:14:20,551 --> 01:14:23,782
for those I was to have
very shortly with my superiors,
820
01:14:24,689 --> 01:14:27,886
I'd discovered, with something bordering
on joy, that I had nothing to say,
821
01:14:30,394 --> 01:14:34,353
For two days, I'd feared being accused
of something I hadn't done...
822
01:14:35,733 --> 01:14:38,861
and honesty would have
forbidden me to remain silent,
823
01:14:39,837 --> 01:14:44,638
But now, I could let everyone
judge my actions for himself,
824
01:14:47,645 --> 01:14:49,636
I was very relieved as well
825
01:14:50,114 --> 01:14:53,413
to think Miss Chantal
could have been sincerely mistaken
826
01:14:53,885 --> 01:14:58,151
as to the real meaning of our talk,
which she may well have misheard,
827
01:15:24,849 --> 01:15:26,180
My poor child, I
828
01:15:27,251 --> 01:15:30,084
So that's how it is,
829
01:15:30,955 --> 01:15:33,856
I didn't understand yet,
I didn't understand anything,
830
01:15:34,392 --> 01:15:36,826
Except that the strange peace
I�d just enjoyed
831
01:15:37,028 --> 01:15:39,462
was the harbinger
of a new misfortune,
832
01:15:40,531 --> 01:15:43,398
This isn't wine,
It's some monstrous poison,
833
01:15:43,501 --> 01:15:45,298
It's all I have,
834
01:15:45,403 --> 01:15:46,927
You should have asked me,
835
01:15:47,839 --> 01:15:49,136
I swear,
836
01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:52,266
Silence! With that stuff inside you,
it's a wonder you're not dead,
837
01:15:54,812 --> 01:15:58,043
I'm glad I came,
Come, sit down,
838
01:16:03,788 --> 01:16:06,256
My voice trembled
in my chest as it always did
839
01:16:06,357 --> 01:16:09,485
whenever something inside told me
I had to stand my ground,
840
01:16:10,494 --> 01:16:13,088
No force in the world
could have made me sit,
841
01:16:13,564 --> 01:16:16,260
Listen, I�m not angry with you,
842
01:16:16,367 --> 01:16:18,995
and I don't take you for a drunk,
843
01:16:19,804 --> 01:16:22,398
We country people of these parts
844
01:16:22,506 --> 01:16:24,906
are all more or less
drunkards' children,
845
01:16:25,743 --> 01:16:28,541
Delbende put his finger
on the trouble right off,
846
01:16:29,580 --> 01:16:32,105
You were born pickled
in the stuff, my poor friend,
847
01:16:33,050 --> 01:16:35,678
I'm sure you had no idea,
848
01:16:36,087 --> 01:16:39,614
But you slowly drifted into expecting
from wine - and what wine! -
849
01:16:40,224 --> 01:16:44,160
the strength and courage you might
have gotten from a good roast,
850
01:16:45,096 --> 01:16:47,121
Mind you,
you've not been offending God,
851
01:16:47,698 --> 01:16:50,861
But now you've been warned,
and you'd offend Him now,
852
01:16:51,068 --> 01:16:53,195
I looked at him distractedly,
853
01:16:54,305 --> 01:16:56,535
He's a strong and steady man,
854
01:16:56,908 --> 01:17:00,571
A true servant of God,
He too has faced up to it,
855
01:17:01,846 --> 01:17:05,009
It was as if we were bidding
farewell to each other
856
01:17:05,116 --> 01:17:06,913
across some invisible highway,
857
01:17:07,018 --> 01:17:09,543
Above all, don't let your imagination
run away with you,
858
01:17:09,654 --> 01:17:12,452
I've only one thing to say:
859
01:17:12,690 --> 01:17:15,181
You are a wonderful little priest
in spite of everything,
860
01:17:15,393 --> 01:17:17,861
And with no malice
to the poor woman who died -
861
01:17:18,162 --> 01:17:19,390
Please don't,
862
01:17:19,497 --> 01:17:21,795
You're right,
We'll not speak of that,
863
01:17:29,507 --> 01:17:31,168
And now, work,
864
01:17:32,076 --> 01:17:34,772
Do little things, from day to day,
while you wait,
865
01:17:35,980 --> 01:17:39,438
Little things don't seem like much,
but they bring peace,
866
01:17:40,551 --> 01:17:42,519
And try to pray,
867
01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:44,244
Persevere,
868
01:17:45,056 --> 01:17:46,819
Pray to the Holy Virgin,
869
01:17:47,091 --> 01:17:50,254
She is, of course,
the mother of mankind,
870
01:17:50,361 --> 01:17:52,261
but she is also its daughter,
871
01:17:52,363 --> 01:17:55,423
The ancient world,
the world before grace,
872
01:17:55,633 --> 01:17:57,692
rocked her in its cradle,
873
01:17:58,169 --> 01:18:01,138
For centuries
its old hands protected
874
01:18:01,372 --> 01:18:04,432
the wondrous young girl
whose name it didn't even know,
875
01:18:05,476 --> 01:18:07,808
A little girl,
this queen of the angels,
876
01:18:08,512 --> 01:18:11,379
which she still is to this day,
Never forget that,
877
01:18:11,582 --> 01:18:13,140
Thank you,
878
01:18:15,186 --> 01:18:17,017
Give me your blessing,
879
01:18:22,793 --> 01:18:25,921
No, it's your turn today,
880
01:18:52,189 --> 01:18:53,918
Here you are, Father,
881
01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:56,059
No, thanks, Nothing,
882
01:18:58,229 --> 01:18:59,787
It will pass,
883
01:19:04,769 --> 01:19:06,794
This will put you right again,
884
01:19:17,214 --> 01:19:18,681
Feeling better?
885
01:19:21,652 --> 01:19:24,951
Much better, thank you,
886
01:20:04,328 --> 01:20:06,057
I should have gone home,
887
01:20:06,664 --> 01:20:10,327
My stomach hurt less,
I just felt a slight dizziness,
888
01:20:56,046 --> 01:20:59,504
I must have fainted the first time
beyond the Auchy woods,
889
01:21:00,618 --> 01:21:03,086
I thought I was
still struggling upright,
890
01:21:03,454 --> 01:21:06,617
and yet I could feel
the frozen earth against my cheek,
891
01:21:07,625 --> 01:21:11,652
"They'll find me half dead" I thought,
Yet another scandal,
892
01:21:13,097 --> 01:21:14,928
I think I called out,
893
01:21:23,107 --> 01:21:25,302
My poor head
couldn't stand it anymore,
894
01:21:26,644 --> 01:21:29,875
The image of the Holy virgin
as described by the priest
895
01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:32,014
was constantly before me,
896
01:21:34,752 --> 01:21:38,051
A sublime creature, Her hands-
897
01:21:38,255 --> 01:21:39,950
I stared at her hands,
898
01:21:41,025 --> 01:21:44,153
Now I'd see them,
now they'd disappear,
899
01:21:45,729 --> 01:21:47,788
As my pain grew more extreme,
900
01:21:47,998 --> 01:21:50,057
I took one of them in mine,
901
01:21:51,669 --> 01:21:53,796
It was the hand of a poor child,
902
01:21:54,004 --> 01:21:56,632
already roughened
by hard work and washing,
903
01:21:58,509 --> 01:22:00,170
I closed my eyes,
904
01:22:00,778 --> 01:22:02,769
I feared, when opening them again,
905
01:22:02,880 --> 01:22:06,247
to see the face before which
every knee must bend,
906
01:22:08,118 --> 01:22:09,107
I saw Him,
907
01:22:11,121 --> 01:22:14,716
It was a child's face,
without the slightest radiance,
908
01:22:32,276 --> 01:22:35,302
I filled it at the pond,
It seemed safer,
909
01:22:37,248 --> 01:22:39,478
They're all there in the house,
910
01:22:40,217 --> 01:22:42,583
I had gone out
to bring the cows in,
911
01:22:44,054 --> 01:22:46,614
You shouldn't let yourself
get in such a state!
912
01:22:47,558 --> 01:22:49,150
It's lucky I found you,
913
01:22:50,060 --> 01:22:52,255
I thought you were dead,
914
01:22:52,363 --> 01:22:55,662
- I have to get up,
- You can't go home looking like that,
915
01:22:56,100 --> 01:22:57,465
What's wrong with me?
916
01:22:59,136 --> 01:23:00,797
You've vomited,
917
01:23:01,005 --> 01:23:04,304
It's smeared all over your face
as if you'd been eating blackberries,
918
01:23:19,356 --> 01:23:22,519
You're shaking,
Let me do it, I�m used to it,
919
01:23:23,460 --> 01:23:27,191
My, my, Another thing entirely
from last week at the wedding!
920
01:23:28,165 --> 01:23:30,827
Come to the rectory tomorrow,
921
01:23:31,602 --> 01:23:33,001
I'll explain,
922
01:23:33,103 --> 01:23:34,832
Heavens, no!
923
01:23:34,938 --> 01:23:37,668
I've said too many
awful things about you,
924
01:23:37,875 --> 01:23:39,502
Terrible things,
925
01:23:42,946 --> 01:23:45,506
I know you didn't
do this on purpose,
926
01:23:47,951 --> 01:23:50,283
They probably put
some powder in your glass,
927
01:23:50,754 --> 01:23:53,552
They do things like that for fun,
928
01:23:55,426 --> 01:23:59,590
But thanks to me,
they won't have their fun this time,
929
01:24:07,438 --> 01:24:09,633
I'll take you as far as the road,
930
01:24:47,711 --> 01:24:49,645
Hurry home now,
931
01:24:49,747 --> 01:24:53,308
I had a dream about you last night,
You looked miserable,
932
01:24:53,784 --> 01:24:55,945
I woke up crying,
933
01:25:23,747 --> 01:25:26,773
The cloth was stiff,
and the water had turned red,
934
01:25:27,484 --> 01:25:29,952
I realized I'd lost a lot of blood,
935
01:25:33,924 --> 01:25:37,883
I was so surprised-
fear of death came only later-
936
01:25:38,662 --> 01:25:41,893
that I decided to take
the first train to Lille in the morning,
937
01:25:46,136 --> 01:25:48,934
At the cock's crow,
I woke feeling fine,
938
01:25:51,842 --> 01:25:55,107
Another bit of hemorrhaging,
More like spitting blood,
939
01:25:57,381 --> 01:25:59,076
Fear of death,
940
01:26:00,417 --> 01:26:04,319
strange how my whole body seems
to quiver around one point in my breast,
941
01:26:22,539 --> 01:26:25,133
Dawn is always so sweet to me,
942
01:26:26,210 --> 01:26:27,939
Bless mornings, I
943
01:26:29,379 --> 01:26:31,006
I pray better,
944
01:27:08,986 --> 01:27:11,147
You're going away tomorrow, I hear,
945
01:27:14,358 --> 01:27:15,484
Yes,
946
01:27:16,927 --> 01:27:18,895
Will you be coming back?
947
01:27:25,669 --> 01:27:27,102
That depends,
948
01:27:27,204 --> 01:27:29,900
It depends... on you?
949
01:27:30,874 --> 01:27:33,468
On the doctor I�m to see in Lille,
950
01:27:38,582 --> 01:27:40,675
I thought -
951
01:27:59,703 --> 01:28:01,694
That's Olivier's motorcycle,
952
01:28:03,440 --> 01:28:05,067
My cousin,
953
01:28:10,213 --> 01:28:11,908
Help me
954
01:28:12,115 --> 01:28:13,912
as long as you're here -
955
01:28:14,117 --> 01:28:16,381
against your father's will,
I might add,
956
01:28:35,539 --> 01:28:37,473
You sure keep your cards hidden,
957
01:28:40,644 --> 01:28:42,942
May I ask what you think of me?
958
01:28:44,715 --> 01:28:46,444
A priest has no opinions,
959
01:28:49,720 --> 01:28:51,984
You have eyes and ears
960
01:28:52,189 --> 01:28:54,657
and make use of them
Like everyone else, I suppose,
961
01:28:55,726 --> 01:28:57,717
They would tell me nothing
about you,
962
01:29:02,899 --> 01:29:04,332
Why not?
963
01:29:06,169 --> 01:29:08,729
You're always restless,
964
01:29:09,473 --> 01:29:12,374
hoping to conceal
the truth of your soul
965
01:29:13,010 --> 01:29:15,069
or perhaps to forget it,
966
01:29:16,346 --> 01:29:18,371
I'm not afraid of the truth,
967
01:29:20,884 --> 01:29:22,784
And if you're daring me -
968
01:29:23,887 --> 01:29:25,821
I'm not daring you,
969
01:29:26,690 --> 01:29:30,148
I'd only agree to hear your confession
if you were in danger of death,
970
01:29:32,262 --> 01:29:34,287
Absolution will come
in due time, I hope,
971
01:29:34,564 --> 01:29:36,429
and from someone else's hand,
972
01:29:37,401 --> 01:29:39,631
That wasn't hard to predict,
973
01:29:40,137 --> 01:29:42,731
Father will be sure
to have you transferred,
974
01:29:43,974 --> 01:29:46,636
Everyone here
takes you for a drunkard,
975
01:30:43,433 --> 01:30:45,833
If you only knew
what I think of life,
976
01:30:48,438 --> 01:30:51,430
I want everything,
I'll try everything,
977
01:30:53,443 --> 01:30:57,470
I know plenty of others have died
without managing to do that,
978
01:30:58,415 --> 01:31:00,474
If life disappoints me, so be it,
979
01:31:00,684 --> 01:31:02,675
I will sin just for sin's sake,
980
01:31:07,624 --> 01:31:09,353
That's the moment you'll find God,
981
01:31:09,659 --> 01:31:13,720
I feel like - I don't know -
insulting you!
982
01:31:15,232 --> 01:31:17,996
You think you can decide my fate
against my will?
983
01:31:18,969 --> 01:31:21,028
I'll damn myself if I please,
984
01:31:22,639 --> 01:31:24,834
I answer for you, soul for soul,
985
01:31:27,711 --> 01:31:30,305
Are you just saying
whatever strikes your fancy?
986
01:31:36,086 --> 01:31:38,554
I was at the window
when you spoke with Mother,
987
01:31:40,957 --> 01:31:43,357
All of a sudden,
her expression became so gentle,
988
01:31:45,595 --> 01:31:48,530
I don't believe in miracles
any more than I do in ghosts,
989
01:31:48,665 --> 01:31:50,826
but I think I knew my mother,
990
01:31:51,034 --> 01:31:54,162
She cared for fine phrases
like a fish cares for apples,
991
01:31:57,240 --> 01:31:59,208
Do you have some secret?
992
01:32:01,945 --> 01:32:03,742
A lost secret,
993
01:32:05,582 --> 01:32:08,278
You too will find it
and lose it in turn,
994
01:32:09,386 --> 01:32:11,911
and others will pass it on after you,
995
01:33:15,483 --> 01:33:16,950
Where are you going, Father?
996
01:33:17,151 --> 01:33:19,085
To M�zargues, to catch the train,
997
01:33:19,287 --> 01:33:22,154
Ever ridden on one of these?
Want to try?
998
01:33:22,390 --> 01:33:24,017
Come on,
999
01:33:47,548 --> 01:33:49,072
You're not frightened?
1000
01:33:51,052 --> 01:33:53,850
How could I feel
so miraculously young then?
1001
01:33:54,055 --> 01:33:56,819
Yes, as young as my companion,
1002
01:33:57,892 --> 01:33:59,951
Things suddenly seemed simple,
1003
01:34:00,161 --> 01:34:01,992
Youth is blessed,
1004
01:34:02,196 --> 01:34:05,632
It's a risk you take,
and even that risk is blessed,
1005
01:34:06,801 --> 01:34:08,132
Hold on!
1006
01:34:13,341 --> 01:34:15,366
By some premonition
I can't explain,
1007
01:34:15,576 --> 01:34:19,205
I understood that God
didn't want me to die
1008
01:34:19,413 --> 01:34:21,404
without knowing
something of this risk,
1009
01:34:21,616 --> 01:34:24,608
just enough for my sacrifice
to be complete when it's time came,
1010
01:34:32,293 --> 01:34:34,784
Too bad you're leaving,
We could have done this again,
1011
01:34:52,446 --> 01:34:55,210
I like you,
We could have been friends,
1012
01:34:57,184 --> 01:34:59,015
Me, your friend?
1013
01:34:59,220 --> 01:35:00,687
Of course,
1014
01:35:03,157 --> 01:35:05,785
Not that I haven't heard
plenty about you,
1015
01:35:06,360 --> 01:35:09,386
My uncle thinks you're a filthy,
good-for-nothing little priest,
1016
01:35:11,632 --> 01:35:14,157
I don't suppose you care
what he thinks,
1017
01:35:17,605 --> 01:35:21,200
You probably don't know
I'm in the Foreign Regiment,
1018
01:35:23,144 --> 01:35:24,168
The Regiment?
1019
01:35:24,378 --> 01:35:25,868
The Legion, I mean,
1020
01:35:28,883 --> 01:35:31,750
If you could only see yourself,
1021
01:35:31,852 --> 01:35:33,183
See myself?
1022
01:35:33,387 --> 01:35:37,016
Without that black robe,
you'd look like any one of us,
1023
01:35:37,625 --> 01:35:39,684
I could see that right off the bat,
1024
01:35:41,462 --> 01:35:42,895
You don't mean it,
1025
01:35:43,097 --> 01:35:44,758
I certainly do,
1026
01:35:46,667 --> 01:35:48,225
What? A priest?
1027
01:35:48,336 --> 01:35:50,497
There are plenty of priests
out there,
1028
01:35:50,905 --> 01:35:54,602
My major's orderly was one,
We only found out afterwards,
1029
01:35:55,876 --> 01:35:57,207
Afterwards?
1030
01:35:57,411 --> 01:35:58,935
After his death,
1031
01:36:01,916 --> 01:36:03,747
How did he die?
1032
01:36:03,951 --> 01:36:06,351
On a mule,
strung up like a sausage,
1033
01:36:06,554 --> 01:36:08,488
a bullet through his belly,
1034
01:36:08,789 --> 01:36:10,586
That's not what I meant,
1035
01:36:10,691 --> 01:36:12,955
Look, I won't lie to you,
1036
01:36:13,794 --> 01:36:16,456
The guys like to show off
when their time has come,
1037
01:36:16,797 --> 01:36:20,460
They have an expression or two
you'd probably call blasphemy,
1038
01:36:21,102 --> 01:36:24,162
But if God doesn't save all soldiers
precisely because they're soldiers,
1039
01:36:24,739 --> 01:36:26,832
then what's the use?
1040
01:36:28,442 --> 01:36:31,605
One more blasphemy
for good measure, and then... bam,
1041
01:36:32,246 --> 01:36:34,407
It's always the same motto:
"All or nothing,"
1042
01:36:36,117 --> 01:36:37,675
I bet you yourself-
1043
01:36:39,620 --> 01:36:43,784
You know, my uncle's right when he says
you have no social skills,
1044
01:36:46,761 --> 01:36:48,422
Admit it, our world isn't theirs,
1045
01:36:50,631 --> 01:36:52,428
I don't reject theirs,
1046
01:36:52,633 --> 01:36:54,965
But it lacks love,
1047
01:36:55,069 --> 01:36:57,299
Our chaps don't have
your wisdom in the matter,
1048
01:36:58,272 --> 01:37:00,934
God seems to them to stand
for a justice they despise -
1049
01:37:01,142 --> 01:37:03,076
a justice without honor,
1050
01:37:04,211 --> 01:37:07,806
Their own law has the merit
of costing a lot, an awful lot,
1051
01:37:09,483 --> 01:37:11,917
It's like a sacrificial altar,
1052
01:37:12,620 --> 01:37:14,986
Just a stone,
no larger than any other,
1053
01:37:50,458 --> 01:37:53,791
DR, LAVIGNE
PROFESSOR, FACULTY OF MEDICINE
1054
01:38:32,032 --> 01:38:34,466
I walked straight ahead
toward the station,
1055
01:38:50,217 --> 01:38:53,243
I entered an old church,
I didn't even know its name,
1056
01:39:05,199 --> 01:39:10,068
I'd never felt such a violent,
physical revulsion to prayer,
1057
01:39:11,839 --> 01:39:14,137
My will was helpless
in the face of it,
1058
01:39:43,904 --> 01:39:47,465
This way you can go on
quietly writing your sermon,
1059
01:39:56,317 --> 01:40:00,048
When I was young,
priests used to eat too much,
1060
01:40:00,354 --> 01:40:02,515
Now you're as skinny as alley cats,
1061
01:40:03,924 --> 01:40:06,222
Beginnings are always hard,
1062
01:40:06,427 --> 01:40:10,158
Never mind, At your age
you have your whole life before you,
1063
01:40:10,464 --> 01:40:13,991
I knew to keep calm,
I had to keep silent,
1064
01:40:26,213 --> 01:40:27,475
Cancer,
1065
01:40:28,849 --> 01:40:30,476
stomach cancer,
1066
01:40:31,852 --> 01:40:35,083
The words had rung in my ears
but left my mind empty,
1067
01:40:36,457 --> 01:40:39,017
I had expected something else,'
tuberculosis,
1068
01:40:41,862 --> 01:40:45,958
I think I just frowned,
like when hearing of a difficult problem,
1069
01:40:47,468 --> 01:40:50,960
It took me a long time to realize
I was to die from a disease
1070
01:40:51,071 --> 01:40:54,063
that rarely strikes people of my age,
1071
01:41:18,098 --> 01:41:21,693
she left me alone
with a cup of black coffee,
1072
01:41:37,151 --> 01:41:40,587
I felt well and even
fell asleep for an instant,
1073
01:41:50,464 --> 01:41:52,227
When I woke...
1074
01:41:52,733 --> 01:41:54,894
God, I must write it down,
1075
01:42:11,351 --> 01:42:15,811
I think of my last
few mornings this week,
1076
01:42:16,356 --> 01:42:19,189
of the cock's crow
and my peaceful window,
1077
01:42:21,428 --> 01:42:23,896
How fresh and pure it all was, I
1078
01:42:41,081 --> 01:42:42,946
Even though I kept telling myself
1079
01:42:43,050 --> 01:42:45,518
nothing had changed inside me
over the last weeks,
1080
01:42:45,886 --> 01:42:51,347
the idea of going home with this...
thing... made me feel ashamed,
1081
01:43:36,804 --> 01:43:39,238
DRUGS AND SIMILAR PRODUCTS
1082
01:43:39,573 --> 01:43:42,440
Abbot Dufrety had studied
with me at the seminary
1083
01:43:42,543 --> 01:43:44,704
before being assigned
to a small parish,
1084
01:43:45,913 --> 01:43:48,438
I knew he'd taken a leave
from the ministry
1085
01:43:49,049 --> 01:43:51,347
only because of illness,
1086
01:44:11,805 --> 01:44:13,932
He was in shirtsleeves,
1087
01:44:14,241 --> 01:44:17,608
in those cotton pants
we wear under our cassocks,
1088
01:44:17,711 --> 01:44:19,235
and barefoot in his slippers,
1089
01:44:20,480 --> 01:44:23,415
You might have let me know,
I have an office in town,
1090
01:44:24,718 --> 01:44:27,482
I only camp out here,
The place is disgusting,
1091
01:44:42,870 --> 01:44:46,533
I'm supposed to eat a lot,
but I don't have much appetite,
1092
01:44:47,374 --> 01:44:49,399
Remember those beans
at the seminary?
1093
01:44:50,711 --> 01:44:53,578
The worst is, the cooking
has to be done right here,
1094
01:44:54,681 --> 01:44:57,582
I've taken a dislike
to the smell of frying,
1095
01:44:59,720 --> 01:45:01,620
Anywhere else,
I'd gobble up the stuff,
1096
01:45:06,159 --> 01:45:07,854
Nice of you to come,
1097
01:45:08,195 --> 01:45:10,288
Frankly, I�m a bit surprised,
1098
01:45:10,497 --> 01:45:13,591
You used to be a bit
narrow-minded in those days,
1099
01:45:17,004 --> 01:45:19,370
Excuse me,
I'll just clean up a bit,
1100
01:45:20,240 --> 01:45:23,107
I've had a good day,
which doesn't happen often,
1101
01:45:23,644 --> 01:45:26,579
What do you expect?
An active life is good for one,
1102
01:45:27,748 --> 01:45:30,012
But don't think
I've turned into an ignoramus,
1103
01:45:30,617 --> 01:45:33,586
I read voraciously,
I've never read so much,
1104
01:45:34,721 --> 01:45:36,916
I've got some notes here,
I'll show you,
1105
01:45:38,292 --> 01:45:41,819
I hope you'll stay for dinner,
We can have a nice chat,
1106
01:45:44,798 --> 01:45:46,425
What's the matter?
1107
01:46:05,118 --> 01:46:06,642
Here, drink this,
1108
01:46:12,192 --> 01:46:15,525
What do you expect?
We've got rotten blood in our veins,
1109
01:46:17,297 --> 01:46:21,461
A doctor told me once, "Intellectuals,
undernourished since childhood!"
1110
01:46:22,936 --> 01:46:25,666
Explains a lot, don't you think?
1111
01:46:27,808 --> 01:46:30,140
Don't think I�m just
making excuses for myself,
1112
01:46:31,178 --> 01:46:33,169
I believe in utter honesty,
1113
01:46:33,714 --> 01:46:35,875
with others and with myself,
1114
01:46:39,753 --> 01:46:42,779
When I left the sanatorium,
I wanted to test myself,
1115
01:46:43,490 --> 01:46:45,458
I looked for a job,
1116
01:46:46,126 --> 01:46:49,254
It was a question of willpower
and guts, Guts, mostly,
1117
01:46:49,930 --> 01:46:52,364
Mind you, I�m not telling
anyone to follow me,
1118
01:46:52,566 --> 01:46:54,227
There are bad times,
1119
01:46:54,568 --> 01:46:57,765
And if it hadn't been
for a feeling of responsibility
1120
01:46:57,971 --> 01:47:01,498
towards someone who
sacrificed her life for me -
1121
01:47:04,077 --> 01:47:06,705
Well, we can talk about that
quite objectively,
1122
01:47:07,981 --> 01:47:10,609
She counts for nothing
in my intellectual life,
1123
01:47:12,552 --> 01:47:15,715
And don't think it was a bolt
from the blue, a bewilderment!
1124
01:47:18,258 --> 01:47:19,885
You're surprised?
1125
01:47:24,264 --> 01:47:25,925
But in your place,
1126
01:47:26,199 --> 01:47:28,895
if I�d broken my ordination promises,
1127
01:47:30,203 --> 01:47:32,865
I'd rather it had been
for love of a woman,
1128
01:47:34,107 --> 01:47:38,874
than for what you call
your intellectual life,
1129
01:47:39,212 --> 01:47:40,839
I don't agree,
1130
01:47:41,915 --> 01:47:44,941
You don't know
what you're talking about,
1131
01:47:45,285 --> 01:47:47,344
My intellectual life -
1132
01:47:50,357 --> 01:47:51,847
What's the matter?
1133
01:47:55,095 --> 01:47:56,494
Answer!
1134
01:48:07,140 --> 01:48:08,903
I don't want to die here!
1135
01:48:09,776 --> 01:48:12,040
Get me out of here, anywhere!
1136
01:48:13,213 --> 01:48:14,908
What can I do?
1137
01:48:15,015 --> 01:48:17,006
I can't carry him by myself,
1138
01:48:17,217 --> 01:48:19,583
and we can't ask the concierge
for anything,
1139
01:48:40,640 --> 01:48:42,437
Don't move, Father,
1140
01:48:43,243 --> 01:48:44,870
It will pass,
1141
01:48:57,057 --> 01:49:00,720
Mr. Dufrety panicked a bit
and ran off to the pharmacy,
1142
01:49:06,666 --> 01:49:09,362
I'm afraid you must think
poorly of me,
1143
01:49:09,903 --> 01:49:12,929
The room isn't tidied up
and everything's dirty,
1144
01:49:15,041 --> 01:49:18,442
You see, I leave to work
at 5:00 in the morning,
1145
01:49:19,646 --> 01:49:21,614
and I just don't have
the strength anymore,
1146
01:49:27,220 --> 01:49:28,812
What is your work?
1147
01:49:29,623 --> 01:49:31,614
I'm a cleaning lady,
1148
01:49:32,526 --> 01:49:36,860
The most tiring part is rushing
from one place to another,
1149
01:49:40,567 --> 01:49:43,434
But what about his business?
1150
01:49:45,105 --> 01:49:47,573
They say there's money in it,
1151
01:49:48,675 --> 01:49:53,271
but he had to borrow
for the office and the typewriter,
1152
01:49:54,314 --> 01:49:57,010
Besides, he can't get around much,
1153
01:50:01,555 --> 01:50:02,954
Are you married?
1154
01:50:03,156 --> 01:50:04,680
No,
1155
01:50:06,159 --> 01:50:08,093
I was the one against it,
1156
01:50:11,464 --> 01:50:12,863
Why?
1157
01:50:14,334 --> 01:50:16,666
Because of what he is,
don't you see?
1158
01:50:17,771 --> 01:50:20,865
I always hoped he'd get well
at the sanatorium,
1159
01:50:22,275 --> 01:50:25,210
And then, if he ever wanted
to make a fresh start,
1160
01:50:26,713 --> 01:50:29,375
I wouldn't be in the way,
I told myself,
1161
01:50:34,854 --> 01:50:37,015
And what did he think of that?
1162
01:50:37,757 --> 01:50:39,418
Nothing,
1163
01:50:41,027 --> 01:50:43,120
He thought I didn't want to,
1164
01:50:44,864 --> 01:50:47,196
Why do you ask?
1165
01:50:51,805 --> 01:50:53,432
Out of friendship,
1166
01:51:02,849 --> 01:51:05,647
The pharmacist was right,
He just laughed at me,
1167
01:51:06,319 --> 01:51:08,753
It's true: The smallest
fainting spell terrifies me,
1168
01:51:17,864 --> 01:51:19,422
Listen,
1169
01:51:20,433 --> 01:51:22,298
I must talk to you,
1170
01:51:24,237 --> 01:51:25,864
There's little time,
1171
01:51:26,106 --> 01:51:29,269
Talk to me about what?
About whom?
1172
01:51:34,581 --> 01:51:36,242
You,
1173
01:51:40,520 --> 01:51:44,524
He's agreed to meet
with the priest in Torcy,
1174
01:51:44,524 --> 01:51:48,858
My old master-
1175
01:53:57,424 --> 01:54:01,360
Around 4:00, unable to sleep,
I went to his room
1176
01:54:01,461 --> 01:54:04,919
and found my poor colleague
unconscious on the floor,
1177
01:54:05,565 --> 01:54:07,658
We carried him back to bed,
1178
01:54:07,867 --> 01:54:10,563
whereupon he vomited up
streams of blood,
1179
01:54:11,304 --> 01:54:13,397
But the hemorrhaging ended,
1180
01:54:13,606 --> 01:54:17,702
While we waited for the doctor,
our poor friend regained consciousness,
1181
01:54:17,977 --> 01:54:19,877
but he didn't speak,
1182
01:54:20,079 --> 01:54:23,139
Heavy beads of sweat
covered his brow and cheeks,
1183
01:54:23,583 --> 01:54:26,746
and his expression
told of great anguish,
1184
01:54:27,554 --> 01:54:30,114
His pulse was rapidly growing weak,
1185
01:54:30,223 --> 01:54:33,989
He motioned
that he wanted his rosary,
1186
01:54:34,093 --> 01:54:35,924
which I found in his pants� pocket,
1187
01:54:36,029 --> 01:54:38,554
From then on,
he held it pressed against his chest,
1188
01:54:39,199 --> 01:54:40,996
He seemed to recover some strength
1189
01:54:41,201 --> 01:54:44,693
and in an almost inaudible voice
asked for absolution,
1190
01:54:44,904 --> 01:54:48,635
His face grew calm,
He even smiled,
1191
01:54:49,375 --> 01:54:52,037
Though neither humanity nor friendship
would permit me to refuse,
1192
01:54:52,245 --> 01:54:56,443
while discharging my duties,
I explained to my unfortunate comrade
1193
01:54:56,649 --> 01:54:59,413
my hesitation at granting his request,
1194
01:55:00,420 --> 01:55:02,820
He didn't seem to hear me,
1195
01:55:03,089 --> 01:55:06,889
But a few moments later,
he laid his hands on mine
1196
01:55:07,293 --> 01:55:11,923
while his eyes entreated me
to draw closer to him,
1197
01:55:12,866 --> 01:55:15,061
He then said, very distinctly,
1198
01:55:15,602 --> 01:55:17,832
if extremely slowly,
1199
01:55:18,037 --> 01:55:21,734
these exact words:
1200
01:55:22,308 --> 01:55:25,539
"What does it matter?
All is grace"
1201
01:55:26,746 --> 01:55:28,338
I believe he died just then.
92627
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