All language subtitles for Superstore 6x14 - Perfect Store & 6x15 - All Sales Final (English)

Okay, so I asked around, and it's true.

Zephra is shifting

most of Cloud 9's
business online, so...

they're gonna be closing some stores.

Some? Oh.

Okay, well, I mean, what's some?

- Like, four?
- Three or four. Exactly.

Well, that's not bad.
I like our chances.

No, it's bad, guys.

They're closing most of the stores.

The number I heard was 95%.

What?

So we're, like, screwed?

Maybe not.

I'm gonna try to get this store picked

as one of the survivors.

I'm still figuring out
what that process looks like but,

guys...

we're not gonna go
down without a fight.

Wait, aren't you supposed
to be the liaison to Cloud 9?

I mean, not a great sign
that they didn't clue you in.

I'm doing great, Dina.

Some people invited me

to a concert in the park last week.

That's a free concert, Amy.
That's not an invite.

That's like telling someone
where the bathroom is.

You're really belly-flopping
out there, huh?

I am not belly-flopping.

Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com

Okay, everybody calm down.

They're gonna keep some stores open,

and Amy's gonna do everything she can

to make sure we're one of them,

so there's no need
to freak out about this.

That's easy for you to say.
You make manager money.

The rest of us, we need this job.

Mm-hmm. Well, except Carol.

Oh, 'cause of my settlement?

Hey, I still need this job
to keep me grounded.

Seems to be working so far.

Hey, okay, guys, come on.

Obviously, Jonah's got some ideas.

We haven't even let him talk.

Jonah?

I mean, I'm not sure

that there's anything that we can do.

I'm just trying to be realistic.

I mean, we've been
flattened by these guys

over and over.

I just...

Yeah, I don't know what to say

Uh, hey, I'm not sure that's an idea

so much as a downer, so maybe next time

just don't stop the meeting
if you don't have anything.

Yeah...

my bad.

Must be nice.

Thinking about buying
the fancy vacuum cleaner

with the ball thingy

like it's just a regular vacuum
cleaner with no ball thingy.

Yeah, and she bought
a Dustbuster yesterday.

She's just rubbing it in our faces.

You guys are missing the headline here.

The store closing could ruin my life.

It's not really a Powerball
jackpot for any of us.

Yeah, but you guys are citizens.

You can get any job you want.

I need to start thinking
of a backup plan.

Tony's looking for someone
to feed his sharks.

The trick is you have to wiggle
the food in the water

to make it look alive.

Okay, so "food wiggler"
is the job to beat.

Maybe we should just all
ask Carol for money.

I mean, I guess it's possible

she might need a personal assistant.

Maybe. You think she'd be cool

with paying you cash under the table?

Of course; That's how

all rich people pay their immigrants.

I bet Dianne Wiest
hasn't paid a payroll tax

in her entire life.

And I feel bad because
everybody's looking at me

like, "What can we do?"

Yeah, that's hard, 'cause in
this case, what can you do?

- It's done.
- Yeah.

I mean, you know,

it's not done yet, you know.

Really?

Well, I mean, we don't
have to jump to done.

5% isn't a good chance,
but it's... it's a chance.

You know, that's what?
The odds are what?

- 5%.
- 5... yes, 5%,

and no, but seriously,
and we've got somebody

from corporate on the
inside who's pushing for us.

Yeah, and that's really great,

but I don't know if pushing
matters to a big corporation.

I mean, decisions like this

involve months of planning, so...

Yeah, but I... but, I mean, you know,

nothing's final yet.

- Yeah, I guess.
- I mean, we have to do something.

We're not just gonna...
we're just gonna give up?

No, we're not, so...

It's really... it's smelly
out here today, huh?

That's your subject change?

Yeah, well, you know,
you use what you have.

Carol, congrats on the settlement.

Oh, thank you,

but it was never
really about the money.

It was about the attention.

Either way, well-deserved.

Hey, listen, do you want a latte?

I accidentally put vanilla
in it, and then I thought,

"That's how Carol likes it!"

Wow, I can't believe you remember that.

What can I say?
I'm very detail-orientated.

Of course, now you can buy
all the lattes you want.

You'll need 'em. You'll be busy now.

Social engagements, travel planning...

I guess that's why wealthy people

get personal assistants, huh?

Oh, I don't know if I
need a personal assistant.

I like to be hands-on
with everything in my life...

especially the men.

Am I right?

You are right...

and I love it.

Look, Jeff, I'm really
sorry you're in a pickle,

but I just... I can't buy
a Subaru right now.

Uh, the reason I'm calling,
that little flood incident,

how much did you report to corporate?

And did they ever...

Uh, I'm gonna call you back.

That'd actually be pretty sick.

- Mm.
- Yeah, so now

I'm really stoked to get the vaccine.

Hi.

Hi.

- It's good to...
- What are you do... I didn't...

How... sorry. Sorry, what?

What are you doing here?

You didn't know?

Oh. Oh, God.

Cheyenne, I thought you were
gonna tell him I was coming.

Yeah, I was going to,

but I figured it would be awkward.

Oh, well, I'm glad we avoided that.

I know Amy being back is a
very big deal, so as her best friend,

I'm just going to put to rest
any possible questions

so we can save time.

Yes, California is warm.

No, Zephra does not have
those egg-shaped nap pods.

Yes, she is roughly the same
weight as when she left,

and, yes, Parker is still frail
and practically translucent.

No, actually, Parker
is thriving in California.

He loves it. Both kids do.

And so do I...

But I am happy to see all of you.

Okay, Amy, you heard me.
There's no time.

Then why did you bring up my weight?

You doing okay, bud?

Me? Yeah, no. I'm... yeah, I'm good.

I'm... I'm great.

Cool.

So Zephra is sending an analyst today

to do a walk-through.

I thought I would get here before her,

help you whip the store into shape

so that they pick us.

I mean you. Question.

What does this mean for you and Jonah?

- No, this isn't about...
- No, we're not...

that's not what we're here for.

Yeah, Sandra. Besides,
it doesn't matter.

Jonah's seeing someone.

Oh, well, that's great for Jonah.

- It's none of my business.
- It's my lawyer,

and she's a redhead, so safe bet is,

she's, like, the filthiest
freak in the world.

- Jonah, no!
- I'm begging you all, please stop.

Also, Amy, you should know,

Kelly came back,
although nothing happened.

Why should she know that?

Oh, and he also asked Nia out,
but she's a lesbian.

At least, that's what she told him.

No, I am a lesbian.

Doesn't matter. He's all about Amy now.

Okay, guys, I get that
this is really interesting,

but come on, we're trying
to save our store here.

So why don't we split
into two meetings?

Yeah, do you want
to take the store-saving one,

and I'll take the Jonah-Amy one?

- No.
- See, this is why

we have two managers.

I call Dina's meeting.

Okay, how about zero meetings?

And dishwasher pods are two-for-one

while supplies last,
so get 'em while you can.

Meaning they might sell out,

not that the store's... uh, please hold.

Don't worry, Jonah and Amy
will figure something out.

They always do.

Yeah, totally.

Hey, did she say hi to you?

Yeah, why?

Oh, no, it's nothing. It's just that...

I don't think she said hi to me yet.

She said hi to everyone this morning.

No, she said, "Hi, everyone."

Okay, so I'm just supposed
to share a hello with Elias?

Nah, dude, I'm 40 years old.

I think she's just
a little preoccupied.

Yeah, right, of course.

I mean, I'm kidding.

It would be funny if I
cared, though, right?

Right.

Okay, so they wouldn't
be sending someone

all the way out here
if it was just about sales.

I mean, my guess is they're
looking at soft factors,

like aesthetics
and customer experience.

Oh, boy, you think they're gonna
be looking at the Quincy store?

We're up against the Quincy Cloud 9,

the jewel of St. Louis?

The whole place is
so clean and beautiful,

and they got the skylight
and the fresh-cut flowers,

and their customers
are so pleasant to look at.

I mean, not one of them makes
you wince when you see them.

How do they do that?

Yeah, we do seem to have
a high wince factor.

I mean, I think that, just for today,

it would be okay to turn away

some of our more colorful clientele.

No weirdos, no uggos. I'm on it.

Well, wait, I'm gonna go with you,

'cause weirdos have feelings too.

You're right.
I should be more sensitive.

I gotta remember, I've got
a cousin that's a weirdo.

Is it gonna be okay to...

leave you two alone together?

- We'll be fine.
- All good, Dina.

It just might be awkward, because...

Okay, thanks, Dina.

- She's still got it.
- Yeah.

Look, I'm sorry that I just
sprung myself on you like this.

Oh.

Yeah, we don't need to...

it was nice that you came to help,

but let's just do
the store today, okay?

- Yeah, yeah. Of course. Cool.
- Okay.

So if we're gonna be putting
our best foot forward,

should we just be sending
our worst employees home?

Well, I'm worried

that if you start pulling
that thread, pretty soon...

Yeah, no sweater.

Yeah.

Sorry, Puppet Mike,
you can't come in today.

This is discrimination!

No, no, no, it's just...
it's a no-freaks day.

- You understand.
- Tell you what.

Come back tomorrow,

and you'll both get
a cup of coffee on me.

Go [bleep] yourself!

Chef Luigi!

Okay, listen up.

The Zephra analyst
will be here this afternoon.

Our only chance of survival

is if she believes that this
is the best Cloud 9 around.

We have to be the perfect store.

Uh...

Is the analyst Glenn?

'Cause if not, that's a tough sell.

Well, we'll do what we can.

We'll make it more homey

with... with nice smells
and... and nice sounds,

and we could throw some flowers at her.

Don't actually throw them.

Just put them places.

It's just, how hard is it to say hi?

It's barely even a word.

Wow. Those smell great.

How much?

Oh, they're not for sale.

They're not even shaped into cookies.

It's just a mound.

How much for the mound?

- That one's yours.
- Oh, wow. Hi.

Who are you?

Our greeters for today.

Dina said everyone at Quincy was hot,

so this is Dido and Bax.

- Yo.
- Hi.

- Oh, his shirt comes off if you want.
- Nope.

Ugh, Carol, you
shouldn't be doing this.

Let me assist you.

- Really?
- Yes.

Happy to be of assistance.

Like an assistant.

This is nice, huh?

- Yeah.
- I mean, it's, you know... it's nicer.

Yeah, we did what we could.

- Yeah.
- You know, so who knows?

Maybe we got a shot.

Oh, my God, it's...
oh, my God, oh, my God.

Okay, Justine, calm down.

No, that's the right reaction.

There's, like, eight
severed feet in there.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

Okay, I gave Justine a muscle relaxer

and put her in her car. She
keeps mumbling about feet,

but that's not a forever
thing, I don't think.

This is horrible.

I mean, we've had severed feet before,

but just a sprinkling,
you know, once in a while.

It's okay. We know the drill.

I'll call Curtis at the police station.

He's our go-to for any
recovered body parts.

Now, hang on, hang on.

Before we turn this
into a full-on crime scene,

what if, hypothetically,
we didn't find this bag of feet

until after the Zephra analyst left?

Do you mean just, like, ignore the bag

of gross, dead feet
in the middle of the floor?

I mean, it would be safer
to move it to the back.

Safer for who?

The foot slicer you're suddenly
trying to aid and abet?

Yeah, Dina, you got me. I'm in on it.

I just happened to show up in the store

the day a bag of feet
was discovered, and...

okay, that sounds
more plausible than I...

- I'm not in on it!
- Look.

We can delay calling them in,
but we are not moving it, okay?

That's called evidence tampering.

It's a criminal offense.

Okay, fine.

We won't move it.

This looks completely natural.

Just a drink display
in the bedding section.

Obviously, the bag
of feet stays between us

until we can call it in.

Yeah, just real quick.

I did mention it to Mateo.

A bag full of feet?

Mateo, I told you not to tell.

I only told these two.

Also, I texted Eric,
and he told his work,

but that's it.

This is so not a big deal, okay?

I mean, of course, it is
for the victims' families,

or, who knows,
maybe there's no victims.

You know, maybe it's just
a med school prankster.

Or a grave robber or morgue bandit.

Let's just stop guessing
and not tell anybody else.

Yeah, and don't worry
that God is gonna be mad

or hold us in judgement.

We're doing the right thing,

or at least we will be in a few hours

when we stop doing this.

Welcome to Cloud 9.

Ooh, Dido just texted.

The analyst is here.

Okay, it's go time.

Janet's outside on freak watch.

Glenn, you guard the duffel bag
and keep tall people away.

I'm gonna cover Megan,

and Amy's gonna
coordinate from the back.

Exactly, because Megan and I

have been in work meetings together,

so she knows what I look like.

Mm, does she?

Or do you just know
what she looks like?

Doesn't always go both ways.

She knows who I am, Dina.

Great. Up top.

Come on.

Hi. Hey.

Uh, can I help you with anything, or...

I think I'm okay. Thanks, though.

Cool, no problem. Yeah.

We're all about customer service here,

so anything you need...

Yeah, where are your candles?

They're just, uh, right over there.

Anyways, you need
something, let me know.

- Can you just show me?
- Sorry, sir, if you just

walk in that direction,
you'll find them.

So... uh, I'm kidding, of course.

I'm gonna take you to them
because that's what I do.

- Right this way.
- Thanks.

So what are they like?

Candles?

Elias, stop staring at her.

Oh, can somebody get a U-boat
over to aisle four

so she doesn't trip
over that wonky floor tile?

Hey.

I thought you might want a snack

since you're stuck back here.

So you thought I was gonna
eat five bags of Doritos?

No, I just wanted
to give you flavor options.

I'll put the rest of them back.

No, I don't want to make
more work for you.

Thank you. Very thoughtful.

Hey, it really means a lot
that you came back here

even knowing you'd have to deal
with the Jonah of it all.

Yeah, well, I mean,

it's less weird
than I thought it would be.

It's actually kinda nice.

I mean, it's nice to see everybody.

Anyway, so you're
really not with Garrett?

Oh, he wishes.

Yeah, he's obsessed with me.

I'll take pity on him.
We go to the odd dinner.

I spend, like, three nights
a week at his house.

We take weekend trips.

He loves it. It's pathetic.

What is she doing?

She's calling someone.

She's calling me.

Why is she calling me?

Okay, I'm gonna call her back
from the office.

Hey, do you want...

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Hey, sorry to make you hop on a call.

Oh, please. Come on.

We are in a pandemic, girl.

I'm either talking to you
or my houseplants.

Don't you have two children?

I do. Yeah, I do.

Uh, so what's up?

Well, I was looking
at the store schematics,

and the caf� and pharmacy
are complete flipped.

Just wanna make sure
you sent the right ones.

Oh, yeah, actually,
when the tornado happened...

Hey, you know,
I think it's really messed up

that you came all the way back here

and you haven't even said hi to me.

I'm so sorry, Megan,

my neighbor just barged in.

That work-from-home life, am I right?

Also, you left your
trash cans in my driveway.

Whoa, was that just an earthquake?

Nope. False alarm.

You never do know
out here in California.

Sorry, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you

to step back a few feet.

I mean yards. Yards, you know.

Forget what I said about feet.

Just forget it.

You good, Glenn?

No, I'm not good.

Tell me, how do you think
he removed them?

Do you think maybe they
just fell off like acorns?

You know what, buddy? Maybe.

Feet!

- No, no, Marcus!
- Shh!

No, you don't understand,

there's a bunch of [bleep] feet here.

I just came to move
these out of bedding,

'cause, like, why
are there drinks here?

And then boom!
Six [bleep] severed feet!

Well, it's eight, but it's fine.

Just calm down, and
we'll explain everything.

I'm sorry, did you just say
"severed feet"?

Yeah, but we're pretty sure
they just fell off like acorns.

Why are you guys acting
like this is normal?

It's [bleep] sick!
There's eight feet in a duffel bag!

Wow, that's crazy.

Yeah, I don't remember that,

but "Lost" did get
pretty weird at the end.

Ah, this is so disgusting and scary.

This is what I'll think about

every time I come into the store.

Marcus! Stop.

We can't let a bag of feet

be her last impression of the store.

I know.

I'd go talk to her, but I only
know who she is because of you.

She'd know that you were helping us.

Oh, I could slash her tires

to keep her here longer.

Huh, I don't know what car is hers,

so I guess I could just do them all.

- Um, thanks, Chey, but maybe not yet.
- Okay.

Hey, guys, we'd love to get an
employee's thoughts on all of this.

Would any of you be willing
to do an interview?

- No, we're not gonna do that.
- Uh...

It'll just take a minute.

Actually, yeah, I... I will.

So I cleaned out all the old
Filet-O-Fish boxes

from your trunk, except
for the one labeled "private,"

which I will neither judge
nor ask questions about.

Mateo, thank you.

You know what? You've convinced me.

- You're hired.
- Oh, thank God.

I mean, I really hope
we save this place,

but it's starting to give off
a real "portal to hell" vibe.

- Mm.
- How about 25 an hour?

Sure.

So that means I can hire you
for about eight hours total.

Does next Tuesday work for you?

Just one day?

I was thinking it would be more
of a full-time thing,

you know, just so I
could eat and stuff.

I don't have that kind of money.

What? You just got a huge settlement.

Yeah, I thought so, too,

but when you add up
lawyer fees and taxes

and all my texts they discovered

about wanting to get injured here,

it ended up only being about 20 thou.

Anyway, I'm gonna try

to get Cheyenne's friend
to take his shirt off.

You do that.

Today, a new chapter

in one of St. Louis's darkest stories.

A duffel bag filled
with eight severed human feet

has turned up inside

the Ozark Highlands Cloud 9 store.

One employee has agreed
to tell us what he knows.

Jonah, this is not the first time

feet have been found here.

In fact, the internet
has already dubbed this store

Toe-zark Highlands.

Is that... is that so?

That's the first I'm hearing of it.

Why do you think he or she...

but let's be honest,
he... sees your store

as an ideal dumping ground?

Uh, well, Natalie, he probably likes it

for the same reason
everybody else does, you know.

Our fast and friendly service,
our convenient parking,

- and our strong sense of community.
- I see.

I don't think he answered her question.

Yeah, it's a tough pivot.

This is the first time

multiple feet have
been delivered at once.

Do you believe this is some sort of

gruesome final event?

I don't know why you think

I would have anything useful
to say on that front,

um, but you know what's never final?

Any purchase that you make here.

Let me... let me tell you
about our return policy.

So you're not concerned
this is hurting business?

I might think twice
about shopping at this store.

Okay, yeah, a lot of feet turn up here.

I'm sorry we're not
literally perfect, Natalie.

Yikes.

We just... we... we keep trying
to show everybody that

we're the perfect store,
and the truth is we're not.

Okay? We're... we're just us,

but we're here every single day.

When it rains, when it snows,
when it... when it tornadoes,

when there's a plague
and you're all safe at home,

except for when you come here to cough,

we're here just... just trying
to get you what you need,

and... and all we want
is to keep doing that.

Emotions running high here,

preventing people
from staying on topic.

Back to you, Skip.

That was great.

Really?

- Yeah.
- You guys,

she's heading out.

Okay.

Wait, Amy, no, what are you...
she can't know that you're...

Megan.

Yep, that's right.

I've been here the whole time.

Amy Sosa.

Oh, right.

I'm sorry, I didn't know
what you looked like.

- Don't tell Dina.
- Never.

Wait, why are you here?

Look, um...

I know that the foot thing is bad.

I'm not trying to say that it's not,

but you can't close this store.

You just... you can't.

I... I don't have a good reason why,

but these people are my family.

I... I... I grew up here.

I spent half of my life...

Amy, we're not closing this one.

What?

Really?

It has great square
footage, nice and central.

It'll make a perfect
fulfillment center.

- A fulfillment center?
- Mm-hmm.

So it's not gonna be a store anymore?

Well what about everybody's jobs?

Well, I'm sure they'll
keep a handful of people but...

No, you can't just do this to us

Well, Amy. You'll keep your job.

No I won't.

'Cause I quit.

_

Can I help you with something?

Oh, hi.

Um, it's Amy.

We met, like, a month ago.

I thought I'd show up on the last day

and surprise everybody.

That's so nice.

What's the surprise?

Um, just me.

Oh, I thought it would be,
like, doughnuts or something.

Amy, it's so good to see you!

Sandra, hi!

Hi! What are you doing here?

I wanted to see
everybody one last time.

So you're back from California.

That's so great.

Don't worry.

You and Eric can stay in my house

as long as you need.

Thank God. Love you.
So glad you're back.

Welcome home.

Thank you.

It's good to be home.

Amy!

- Glenn, hi.
- I am so happy to see you.

I wasn't gonna not say goodbye.

We are so short-staffed today.

- No, I wasn't planning on...
- Just tell you what.

- Grab a vest in the back.
- I've got something I gotta...

- We're super light in Grocery.
- But the thing is, I had a...

Just do whatever you can do.

My God, this is like God
sent me a literal angel.

Like I said, welcome home.

Attention, shoppers.

It's the final day
of our liquidation sale

before the doors close for good.

Our selection's fairly picked over,

but the following items
are still available:

Irregular ladies' golf
shoes size 14 and above,

grape-scented laundry detergent,

and the VHS box set
of "Sweet Valley High."

What'll Jessica and
Elizabeth get into next?

Buy 'em while you can,
or else wait a day and

fish 'em out of our dumpster.

There she is,

back in the blue.

Like I never left.
Hey, I heard the news.

Congratulations,

Miss Fulfillment Center Manager.

- I haven't told anyone yet.
- Oh.

As soon as it gets out,

everyone's gonna start
asking me for a job,

and Zephra's already filled
most of the openings.

I can only keep five people,

and it is tougher
than I thought it would be.

So there's no one
you want to take with you?

No, actually, everyone
has their strengths.

You know, Marcus has
warehouse experience.

Janet's good under pressure.

Jonah's smart, but I don't even
know if he's staying in town

- since him and Hannah broke up.
- What?

- They broke up?
- Yeah.

Uh, why? Why?

I hadn't heard that.
Why did they break up?

You know, I'm not sure.

Why are you so interested?

Because it's interesting.

I mean, all kinds of
things are interesting.

You know, lots of
things are interesting

if you really think about it.

Uh-huh.

So...

retirement, huh?

Got any big plans?

Yeah, I think I might finally

watch "The Queen's Gambit."

Okay, so that's...

seven episodes.

What else?

Well, I hadn't really
thought much beyond that.

Gosh, I guess there's
gonna be a lot of hours

to fill, huh?

Yeah, yeah, but that's
a good thing, right, Glenn?

I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.

No, 'cause work
is all I've ever known, Jonah.

I mean, I started
at my dad's hardware store

when I was eight,

and before that,
I worked at the tollbooth.

Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine.

There's gotta be
something that you can do.

Well, what if I got a 500-piece puzzle?

That'd take up some time, right?

Some.

What, you want me to get
a 1,000-piece puzzle?

How much table space
do you think I have, Jonah?

Yeah, we could,
like, you know... get it...

Smart time to buy a new washer.

Oh, actually, Bo wants to buy them all.

- Oh.
- Yeah, get 'em for mad cheap,

then resell them to the suckers,

make that scrilla.

What if you can't sell 'em?

Then I open up a laundromat.

Come on, man, think.

Use those glasses.

Well, I guess you have
more of a plan than I do

since I'm basically unhirable now.

Mm, plight of the undocumented, man,

and yet the 1% and whatnots.

You always know what to say.

Well, you can always
come over to our place

and do your laundry.

Thanks, Chey.

For a price that is reasonable.

Why is this not... what the...

Well, well, well...

Little Miss Corporate
spent so much time

at her cushy desk job,

she forgot how a scanner works.

No, I did not. I just...
I think this one's broken.

I'm messing with you.
I'm messing with you.

They switched us over
to CCDs. Here, look.

You have to press these two
buttons at the same time,

and you've gotta get it closer

than you did with the lasers.

Got it. Thank you for the pro tip.

You know, it's always nice

when a, uh, working stiff like me

can help out a fancy dame, you know?

You know, I still have no idea

what that accent is,

and I think it's gotten worse.

Oh, oh, come on, now.

I'm a little rusty, you know?

I haven't done it in a New York minute.

Maybe the accent
goes away with the store.

Speaking of which,

what are your plans

in a post-Cloud 9 world?

Uh, well, I mean,

I'll grieve, obviously,

for the obligatory 90 days.

Obviously. Me too.

- Full veil and everything.
- Yeah, for sure.

And then, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.

I got a lot to figure out, you know,

like, am I gonna
move back to Chicago or...

Oh.

I mean, just that
Chicago has all that wind,

and Hannah's here.

Oh, we broke up.

What? Oh, no.

- I'm so sorry.
- It's fine.

No, it's... I mean, we only
dated for, like, a month.

Oh, man, that is not long enough.

Well, I had no idea
that you two had broken up.

Yes, you did.

I told you they broke up,
like, ten minutes ago.

No, you didn't.

Oh.

No, I didn't tell you that.

It was the other Latina employee,

and you all look the same to me

because I'm a racist,

so that's something
I should probably work on.

She still thinks Sandra's Latina.

Oh, what about boxing as a hobby?

You look great in silk shorts.

I know, but I'm just
uncomfortable with the punching.

Well, yeah, there's a lot
of punching in it.

Well, what about, uh, fishing?

A lot of retired people like that.

What would be the point?
I can't eat the fish.

His throat's a bone magnet.

You know, Mateo, it's funny.

You're undocumented, and I'm over 60,

and America doesn't want
either of us to work anymore.

Right, but...

I'm under constant fear of deportation,

and you get discounts
at movie theaters, so...

Not new releases.

Wow, must be awful
to live in terror of spoilers.

Excuse me.

Ooh, what about grilling?

That could be fun.

Okay, Jerusha, no offense,

but you are spiraling right now.

Yeah, I'm hoping I can get another

floor supervisor job.

I just bought a ton of clipboards.

What about you, Ames?

Have you thought about
what you want to do next?

I mean, I have
some interviews lined up.

Turns out, once you've
been an executive,

it's kind of easy to stay an executive.

- Nice.
- Hmm.

Hey, so, um...

how upset was Jonah

when I left?

Oh, I'd say...

- pretty upset.
- Pretty upset.

On a scale of 1 to 10, like...

9.5.

Solid 9.5.

That makes... that makes sense.

You're not thinking about getting back

on that merry-go-round, are you?

Is this, like a,

"you break it, you
bought it" situation?

Dina, it's not like that.

No, it's just,

once I got out to California,

everything just felt...

And...

I don't know, I think I...

I think I made a mistake
not marrying Jonah.

Ya think?

I just... I can't anymore.

She's been pretty upset too.

Garrett, for the contact list,

- you wrote email@email.email.
- Oh, really?

You too cool to keep
in touch with everybody?

I'm just being realistic, man.

Look, we work together,

and now we're gonna go work
with other people.

I'd rather skip the part
where we email for a week

trying to plan some
fictional group trip.

But we are doing a group trip.

It's either gonna be Kansas City

or Tokyo.

Buddy, we're not
making it to Applebee's,

and we work down the street
from Applebee's.

Ugh, love Applebee's.

Okay, any five.

Doesn't matter who.

Let's see.

Here we go.

Oh, oh, God, no.

Nope, not gonna work. All right.

Hey.

Hey.

So I've been meaning to tell you, uh,

"The Americans" is really good.

- You watched it.
- I did.

I mean, I watched basically everything.

You know, pandemic.

I kept wanting to text you, but...

Well, I'm glad you liked it.

And, um...

the other thing that I've
been wanting to tell you

is that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the way I left.

It was...

selfish and awful and...

Hey, I... we... I don't...

look, you don't have to apologize to me

for not wanting to marry me.

No!

It wasn't even about that.

I just... I think that, like,

my brain short-circuited.

You know, suddenly I had
all these options

for the first time in
my life, and I was like,

"Yay, I get to decide what I want,

but wait, like, how do I
decide what I want?"

Yeah, welcome
to the world of privilege.

It's very hard on this side of things.

Why didn't you warn me?

Don't know.

Look, Jonah,

I didn't know what I wanted,

but I know now, and...

Amy, I'm happy that you figured it out.

I really, really am.

But I'm not just...

I don't know, I'm not just
something you can schedule

for whenever you're free, you know?

I'm sorry, but I just...

I don't know what I want anymore.

Okay.

Um, if you figure it out...

Let me know.

Excuse me. Um, where
would I find nutmeg?

Nutmeg? Well, that's aisle 12,

- right over there.
- Aisle 12.

Okay, thank you so much for your help.

- You're so welcome.
- Uh...

the coronavirus.

- Okay.
- Have a heavenly day.

Okay, thanks, okay.

You a big spice guy?

That man might be
my last customer ever.

It's so sad.

Yeah, we're all...

I'm gonna miss this.

You know, I thought I had

a few more good years left in me.

You know, my dad,

he worked at our hardware
store till he was 80.

I thought I'd do the same, but...

it's just so unfair.

Glenn!

If you don't want
to retire, then don't.

No one's making you stop working.

Hey, Mat...

Hey, everyone!

I'm not gonna retire.

Uh, yeah, I think
I'm gonna get a new job

or maybe even reopen
Sturgis & Sons Hardware,

though I-I have to check with Jerusha,

because, you know,
it's a very big commitment.

I think it's a great idea!

Hey, guys, good news.

Jerusha's in.

You okay?

Oh.

I'm the new fulfillment center manager,

but I can only keep five employees,

and I can't make up my mind.

When I have a tough decision to make,

I like to spend a Sunday on the bus.

Pack a little lunch, and just bus on it.

Ah, Sandra, I can't get sucked

into your bleak life, okay?

Zephra needs a list now.

Okay.

Done.

Yeah, that's it.

Why the "AM" next to your name?

'Cause I'm your assistant manager.

If that's okay with you.

I don't want to be presumptuous.

No, you're in.

I was going for, like, a...

cool, badass moment.

- Yeah, I got that.
- Good.

Yeah, you don't need to do...

okay, you did. All right.

This is probably the last time

I'm ever gonna clean up slushie vomit.

Oh, can you take a picture?

No. What?

Look, I don't get it.

We work in a big, dumb, ugly store,

and everybody's acting
like they're Jordan

walking off the court
for the last time.

Aw,

your last slushie vomit.

- Come on.
- Look at this.

I was cleaning out
my office, and I found

these old tapes
of everyone's job interviews.

- Ooh.
- Wait, I don't remember...

did you secretly record
our job interviews?

Yeah, but, you know,

just so I'd have proof in case

someone accused me of not hiring them

unless they did me sexual favors.

I mean, Pastor Craig
was falsely accused

30 times by women and men.

Testing. Jesus seizes cheeses.

Jesus seizes cheeses.

I don't know if I've ever
seen her videos.

Hi, you must be Amy.

- Damn, Amy, you were hot.
- Thank you.

- Boner alert.
- Dude, she's a teenager.

Yeah, but I was a teenager then, too,

so it's not weird.

So glad I came back for this.

- Yeah.
- Um, once you've worked here

for a year, it starts to get good.

Oh, um, thank you
so much, but actually,

I'm going to college in the fall,

so I'm only planning
to be here a few months.

205 months, to be exact.

Oh, young Amy,

with your big, big dreams
and your tiny, tiny pores.

They were so tiny.

- Sorry.
- No, please, go ahead.

Oh, my God.

You worked at The Spaghetti Factory?

I go there all the time.

Wait a minute, I know you.

Fettuccine Alfredo,
side of grilled cheese,

three glasses of juice.

- That's incredible.
- Yeah.

Aw, you guys used to get along.

I also worked in the bird
department at Petco.

Oh. God, you know,
I don't get how people

can keep birds as pets.

They're disgusting.

- Rats with feathers.
- Uh-huh.

Let's move on.

Okay, well, um...

Hey, here's what you need
to know about Garrett McNeill.

Oh, my God.

That guy's handsome.

Am I hard on myself?

Sure,

but I call it taking the job seriously.

- Wow.
- What?

I give a good interview.
What can I say?

Why do you want to work at Cloud 9?

Um, actually, I already work here.

You hired me two weeks ago.

I don't think so.

I think I'd remember that.

You gave me one of these.

I'm so sorry.

It's just that you've got

such a forgettable face, you know?

- I know.
- I think you'd make a great spy, though.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

And so we were in line at Claire's...

- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh!

My purple hair thingy.

Corona was like, "You eat it."

And I was like,
"Nah, girl, that is narsty."

You eat it."

And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is our current floor supervisor.

I know, right? Life is nuts.

I don't know if I should say anything,

but there's a Scott Baio
wannabe waiting outside,

and I heard him tell his meth dealer

- that he just wants to rob the place.
- Hey, um,

when the store closes,

do you want to...
keep hangin' and bangin',

like, as my boyfriend?

Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Okay. Cool.

Tell me more about you.

I just want to say

that if you give me the chance,

I will work harder

than anyone you know.

I will literally dig through
concrete with my bare hands

until they're bloody stumps

and I have to do stuff with my feet.

You know, I could use a hard worker

like that at Sturgis & Sons.

Really?

Thank you.

Should we do, like,
denim or leather aprons?

Denim, right, like, a raw denim?

Okay. I love it. I love it.

It's more my color.

Jonah Simms.

Wow, you have had a lot of jobs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I worked at a
consulting firm for a few months

and then an ad agency for six weeks.

I sold gym memberships.

I was a barista, a tour guide.

I went to business school
for a semester,

but now I'm just at a place in my life

where I really want to change.

You know, I just want
to spend a couple months

just not using my brain.

- Whoa!
- Boo!

All right, yeah, I know.
I get it. I know.

I can't listen to myself either,

so enjoy.

All right, all right.

- Use your brain?
- No, no, I mean,

it's not just that.

It's... you know,

when you think about it,
a store like this

is actually pretty
incredible, you know?

You help people do their homework

and find their styles

and feed their grandchildren.

You know, there's magic in that.

I don't know, people always
talk about going out

and finding something special,

but, you know, maybe we don't
have to look that hard.

You know, maybe everything is special.

How many jobs have you had?

What?

Not including paper routes
and babysitting or whatever,

how many actual jobs?

Too many to count. 20, 30?

Yeah, you never stick with anything.

Except this.

You've been here six years. Why?

I don't know. It's a good job.

No, it's not. It's a terrible job.

It's not that bad.

Jonah, why did you stay here?

Why do you think, Amy?

You know, when I first met you,

I thought you were the most
annoying person I'd ever met,

with your "moments of beauty,"

"seize the day" crap

like you'd watched "Dead
Poets Society" too many times.

Shows what you know.

You can't watch "Dead
Poets Society" too many times.

I hated how cheesy you were.

I hated how woke you were.

I hated how often
you used the word "artisan."

But most of all, I
hated how you believed

that life could be better than it was.

And yet here we are.

And my life is so much better
than it was...

because of you.

And I...

I screwed it all up.

I know that.

But you waited six years for me,

so if I have to wait an...

I'm sorry, it's just,
you were talking so much.

I didn't know what to do.

Excuse me. Hi.

Does the "cup" in "menstrual cup"

refer to, like, the shape

or the volume?

Have to say,

I always thought when they
shut this place down,

it would be because
of something you did.

Me too.

Hey.

Take care of the old gal, will you?

I will.

Attention, shoppers.

Please bring your final
purchases up to checkout,

'cause this store
is about to close forever.

On behalf of everyone here at Cloud 9,

I'd just like to say...

buh-bye.

Sorry, that shouldn't be
the last thing I say.

20... years of announcements.

I mean, I'm not a sentimental guy.

That's not my thing.

But it did just occur
to me that this is...

this is the end.

I mean, don't get me wrong. It's a job.

If jobs were fun,
they wouldn't pay us to do it.

But occasionally there
were moments that...

weren't so bad.

And for whatever reason,

those are...

the only things
I can remember right now.

You know, most jobs suck

99% of the time.

So you really...

really gotta enjoy those
moments that don't...

Are we Sturgis & Friends?

No!

Those bits of fun you have
during downtime...

- Are we Sturgis & Sons?
- Yes!

All right, let's get to work.

Or an interesting conversation

with a coworker...

- For the lab.
- Boom!

Or something happens

that you can laugh about later...

Oh, that's a picture of my honeymoon.

Sorry about that.

Or you do something

that you're actually proud of.

Looking great, guys.
Keep up the good work.

If you're lucky, maybe you
even get to be friends

with a coworker or two along the way.

Not sure what else
you could want in a job.

- How did you do this?
- With my mouth!

- Oh, my God. Look at that.
- I know.

Love you.

- They're asleep.
- Both of them?

- Yeah.
- Nice.

At any rate...

thank you for shopping with us.

Cloud 9 is now closed.