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1
00:00:07,197 --> 00:00:09,614
(soft music)
2
00:00:12,165 --> 00:00:14,187
(liquid dripping)
3
00:00:14,187 --> 00:00:17,251
(typewriter keys clacking)
4
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,668
(thunder and lightening)
5
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,805
(train horn blaring)
6
00:00:27,154 --> 00:00:29,987
(punk rock music)
7
00:00:36,605 --> 00:00:38,192
(horn blaring)
8
00:00:38,192 --> 00:00:41,025
(punk rock music)
9
00:00:42,516 --> 00:00:44,804
(tires squealing)
10
00:00:44,804 --> 00:00:47,637
(punk rock music)
11
00:00:54,578 --> 00:00:57,328
(sirens wailing)
12
00:00:59,669 --> 00:01:03,015
(tires squealing)
13
00:01:03,015 --> 00:01:04,897
(punk rock music)
14
00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:05,750
(static)
15
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:10,750
(beeping)
(upbeat news music)
16
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,570
- You just heard that presentation
17
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:18,650
from Fathers Against Pornography,
18
00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,870
who are helping to combat
the terrible addictions
19
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:22,090
sweeping this land.
20
00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:25,003
And you can help them fight
this terrible addiction.
21
00:01:25,940 --> 00:01:28,823
Go online and download their hints.
22
00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:31,890
Since we're talkin' about addiction,
23
00:01:31,890 --> 00:01:33,750
we should talk about the scourge
24
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:36,300
that is sweeping America right now.
25
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:37,890
We've brought this up on the show before,
26
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and the government
denies that it's a thing.
27
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,550
But we have here
28
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,200
this mountain of evidence.
29
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,430
Now I told Rufus, he's
our head of research,
30
00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:51,610
I told Rufus, get all of
our documents together,
31
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:56,070
hours and hours of footage,
it's time to put it on the air.
32
00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:57,436
It is time.
33
00:01:57,436 --> 00:01:59,960
(dramatic music)
34
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,210
There's a drug on the
street, and it is killing us,
35
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:04,410
and we cannot let this continue.
36
00:02:04,410 --> 00:02:06,010
Now they can call it what they like,
37
00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:07,540
but we know what is.
38
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:08,523
Spunk.
39
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:12,080
In the 80s, they denied it.
40
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,860
They said it was just an urban legend.
41
00:02:13,860 --> 00:02:16,270
That there's no such thing as Spunk.
42
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:19,160
That there isn't a drop of truth in Spunk.
43
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,870
I'm gonna fill you with
so much Spunk truth,
44
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,100
that you're gonna have it coming out of
45
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,573
every hole of your body.
46
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:27,980
One day, you're going to look at America
47
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,940
and you're not going to recognize it.
48
00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,493
You're gonna see a Spunk covered nation of
49
00:02:32,493 --> 00:02:34,528
Spunked up people.
50
00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:37,278
(dramatic music)
51
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(upbeat, quirky music)
(children playing)
52
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(audience laughter)
53
00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:58,003
- Hello Heather.
54
00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:00,861
It's so good to see you
on such short notice.
55
00:03:00,861 --> 00:03:01,895
Shh.
(audience laughter)
56
00:03:01,895 --> 00:03:03,600
The baby's sleeping.
57
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,433
Come on in.
58
00:03:07,722 --> 00:03:08,889
- Hi, Heather.
59
00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,580
- [Woman] So how's school?
60
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:12,520
- [Heather] Um, money's a little tight,
61
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,353
but it's good.
62
00:03:13,353 --> 00:03:15,880
- Well I suppose it's
like anything difficult.
63
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,593
I'm sure you'll come out even
stronger on the other end.
64
00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:20,303
Alright.
65
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,170
Oh, um, I've got some
numbers for you here,
66
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,200
in case of an emergency.
67
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,960
There's food in the fridge.
68
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,110
Help yourself to anything.
69
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,830
Are you 21?
70
00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:33,950
Well there's beers in the fridge.
71
00:03:33,950 --> 00:03:34,898
Go ahead and help yourself.
72
00:03:34,898 --> 00:03:36,253
I won't tell.
(audience laughter)
73
00:03:36,253 --> 00:03:38,820
Stewart is a very, very light sleeper,
74
00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:40,320
so please keep it down.
75
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,760
If he wakes, he'll be really cranky.
76
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,593
I think that's everything.
77
00:03:43,593 --> 00:03:45,370
You've got our number.
78
00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:46,440
- Where are you guys headed?
79
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,067
- Oh, we're going to an orgy.
80
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:50,280
Oh, I'm so excited.
(audience laughter)
81
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,930
Last time we got Stewart.
82
00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:52,763
This time?
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00:03:52,763 --> 00:03:54,710
Maybe I'll get his sister.
84
00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:56,864
- Come on honey, or we're gonna
be late for the disrobing.
85
00:03:56,864 --> 00:04:01,864
(audience laughter)
(audience clapping)
86
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:09,328
(slow, dramatic music)
87
00:04:09,328 --> 00:04:14,328
(lightening striking)
(dramatic music)
88
00:04:19,435 --> 00:04:22,930
(woman screaming)
89
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- I will wash my hands in his blood.
90
00:04:35,332 --> 00:04:38,583
(phone ringing)
91
00:04:38,583 --> 00:04:39,580
- Susie?
92
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:40,413
Hey girl.
93
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:41,750
- [Susie] What's up, Heather?
94
00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:42,680
- Oh nothing.
95
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,350
I'm babysitting, and it is so boring here.
96
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:46,550
- [Susie] They got Netflix?
97
00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:47,383
- No.
98
00:04:47,383 --> 00:04:49,570
And I forgot my laptop.
99
00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:50,403
- [Susie] That sucks.
100
00:04:50,403 --> 00:04:52,040
They got any booze in the house?
101
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:52,873
- Just beer.
102
00:04:52,873 --> 00:04:53,880
You know I don't like beer.
103
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,400
It tastes like old man ball sweat.
104
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,280
- [Susie] Speaking from experience?
105
00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,113
- Ha ha.
106
00:04:59,113 --> 00:05:00,440
You know what I mean.
107
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:01,440
- [Susie] Oh hey, I gotta go.
108
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:02,640
Steve's calling.
109
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,230
He's gonna come over and ruin me.
110
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:06,480
- Oh, alright, um, have fun.
111
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,940
Don't get pregnant.
112
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,750
- [Susie] Can you get
pregnant from your mouth?
113
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:10,583
- Ugh.
114
00:05:10,583 --> 00:05:15,583
Gross.
(audience laughter)
115
00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:20,398
(upbeat, quirky music)
116
00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:45,042
(groaning)
117
00:05:45,042 --> 00:05:46,427
(spitting)
(audience laughter)
118
00:05:46,427 --> 00:05:47,835
Oh, that's disgusting.
119
00:05:47,835 --> 00:05:50,835
(audience laughter)
120
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:56,073
(scrubbing)
121
00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:00,504
What is that?
122
00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:04,958
(upbeat, quirky music)
123
00:06:11,612 --> 00:06:15,433
It smells like pineapple.
(audience laughter)
124
00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:18,395
The Cleevers are Spunkers.
125
00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:20,206
(audience laughter)
126
00:06:20,206 --> 00:06:22,717
Well that explains a lot.
127
00:06:22,717 --> 00:06:25,967
(upbeat, quirky music)
128
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,860
Geelee, what's a safe
amount of Spunk to take?
129
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,733
- [Geelee] A tablespoon full
of Spunk is the typical amount.
130
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,780
- Geelee, what's a safe
way to ingest Spunk?
131
00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:43,980
- [Geelee] Many people take Spunk rectally
132
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:46,040
and women prefer to take Spunk vaginally,
133
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,333
but the safest method is orally.
134
00:06:50,004 --> 00:06:53,110
(upbeat, quirky music)
135
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:55,300
- Oh, this is stupid, Heather.
136
00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:56,210
That stuff is dangerous.
137
00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:58,563
Just order pizza, read a book, anything.
138
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,210
(upbeat, quirky music)
139
00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:06,290
What the heck.
140
00:07:06,290 --> 00:07:07,590
You only live once, right?
141
00:07:12,324 --> 00:07:17,324
(squelching)
(audience laughter)
142
00:07:18,159 --> 00:07:19,687
(audience groaning)
143
00:07:19,687 --> 00:07:22,687
(audience laughter)
144
00:07:25,807 --> 00:07:28,557
(dramatic music)
145
00:07:33,678 --> 00:07:36,928
(electronic pop music)
146
00:07:46,721 --> 00:07:49,341
♪ The night has come ♪
147
00:07:49,341 --> 00:07:52,206
♪ Darkness all around ♪
148
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:55,702
♪ So you better be ready ♪
149
00:07:55,702 --> 00:07:59,099
♪ There's no way you'll
be safe and sound ♪
150
00:07:59,099 --> 00:08:02,517
♪ Like a tigress on the prowl ♪
151
00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:06,024
♪ Like a cobra through the night ♪
152
00:08:06,024 --> 00:08:07,951
♪ She's coming to get you ♪
153
00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:12,951
♪ Watch out for her deadly bite ♪
154
00:08:12,955 --> 00:08:14,932
♪ She's a love beast ♪
155
00:08:14,932 --> 00:08:16,645
♪ Hunting for her prey ♪
156
00:08:16,645 --> 00:08:18,011
♪ You better be ready ♪
157
00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:20,084
♪ 'Cause she's coming your way ♪
158
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,684
♪ Love beast ♪
159
00:08:21,684 --> 00:08:23,356
♪ One crazy ride ♪
160
00:08:23,356 --> 00:08:26,498
♪ One look in her eyes ♪
161
00:08:26,498 --> 00:08:29,870
♪ And you'll see nothing in sight ♪
162
00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:34,870
♪ She's a love beast ♪
163
00:08:37,737 --> 00:08:40,417
♪ She's got you now ♪
164
00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:43,818
♪ There's no chance to run away ♪
165
00:08:43,818 --> 00:08:46,258
♪ And you'll start to learn how cruel ♪
166
00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:49,175
(Heather laughing)
167
00:08:53,236 --> 00:08:55,986
(dramatic music)
168
00:08:59,864 --> 00:09:02,281
- [Toy] You tickle the tummy.
169
00:09:04,916 --> 00:09:07,317
- Oh shut up, shut up, shut up.
170
00:09:07,317 --> 00:09:09,080
You're gonna wake the baby.
171
00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:14,078
- [Toy] You tickle the tummy.
172
00:09:15,748 --> 00:09:17,498
You tickle the tummy.
173
00:09:20,447 --> 00:09:22,697
(grunting)
174
00:09:24,195 --> 00:09:26,862
(strange music)
175
00:09:28,221 --> 00:09:29,549
(gasping)
176
00:09:29,549 --> 00:09:30,571
- What the?
177
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,424
What's happening?
178
00:09:32,424 --> 00:09:34,072
(screaming)
179
00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:36,822
(dramatic music)
180
00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:42,261
(glass shattering)
181
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,693
The baby's room.
182
00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:52,094
(dramatic music)
183
00:09:59,503 --> 00:10:04,503
(Heather mumbling)
(breathing heavily)
184
00:10:11,885 --> 00:10:14,635
(dramatic music)
185
00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:20,996
(door creaking)
186
00:10:22,693 --> 00:10:25,443
(dramatic music)
187
00:10:29,909 --> 00:10:32,617
(gasping)
188
00:10:32,617 --> 00:10:34,700
(cawing)
189
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,667
Oh, what is that?
190
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:43,584
(sobbing)
(dramatic music)
191
00:10:44,784 --> 00:10:47,195
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, the baby.
192
00:10:47,195 --> 00:10:49,695
(baby crying)
193
00:10:51,896 --> 00:10:56,729
(screaming)
(squelching)
194
00:10:57,706 --> 00:11:02,706
(dramatic music)
(Heather mumbling)
195
00:11:05,439 --> 00:11:06,508
- [Man] 911 emergency.
196
00:11:06,508 --> 00:11:07,779
- The crow man ate the baby.
197
00:11:07,779 --> 00:11:09,039
- [Man] Excuse me?
198
00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:09,872
Ma'am?
199
00:11:09,872 --> 00:11:11,740
- The crow man ate the baby.
200
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:12,573
- [Man] Ma'am.
201
00:11:12,573 --> 00:11:13,406
- He's gonna eat me next.
202
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,287
- [Man] I need you to slow
down and give me your location.
203
00:11:15,287 --> 00:11:17,460
- No, I'm in the house.
204
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:18,513
The crow man's here.
205
00:11:19,789 --> 00:11:20,956
Send the pigs.
206
00:11:22,399 --> 00:11:23,232
Okay.
207
00:11:25,537 --> 00:11:27,966
I just have to go up
there and get him out.
208
00:11:27,966 --> 00:11:28,799
Yeah.
209
00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:30,651
I just have to cut him out.
210
00:11:30,651 --> 00:11:32,171
I can do that.
211
00:11:32,171 --> 00:11:33,338
I can do that.
212
00:11:35,516 --> 00:11:38,707
(dramatic music)
213
00:11:38,707 --> 00:11:40,124
Don't fear, baby.
214
00:11:42,404 --> 00:11:45,154
(dramatic music)
215
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:49,198
(door creaking)
216
00:11:50,512 --> 00:11:52,615
(squelching)
(chewing)
217
00:11:52,615 --> 00:11:54,583
Give me back the baby.
218
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,666
(cawing)
219
00:11:57,838 --> 00:12:00,005
You give me back the baby!
220
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:07,199
(cawing)
(screaming)
221
00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:09,637
(squelching)
222
00:12:12,591 --> 00:12:15,521
(knocking)
223
00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:16,354
- [Officer] Open up.
224
00:12:16,354 --> 00:12:18,048
- Fuck off, I'm busy.
225
00:12:18,048 --> 00:12:19,679
(knocking)
226
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,596
(crow man choking)
227
00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,916
(grunting)
228
00:12:27,916 --> 00:12:30,166
(knocking)
229
00:12:32,237 --> 00:12:34,987
(dramatic music)
230
00:12:39,069 --> 00:12:41,873
(knocking)
231
00:12:41,873 --> 00:12:44,891
(dramatic music)
232
00:12:44,891 --> 00:12:46,312
I'm coming, I'm coming.
233
00:12:46,312 --> 00:12:48,374
Hold your horses.
234
00:12:48,374 --> 00:12:51,712
(dramatic music)
235
00:12:51,712 --> 00:12:54,752
(squealing)
236
00:12:54,752 --> 00:12:57,085
(screaming)
237
00:12:59,444 --> 00:13:03,701
(hitting)
(squealing)
238
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:06,451
(dramatic music)
239
00:13:07,549 --> 00:13:11,320
(gunshot)
(squealing)
240
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,820
Go away.
241
00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:14,003
We don't want any.
242
00:13:16,411 --> 00:13:19,325
(upbeat, quirky music)
243
00:13:19,325 --> 00:13:20,242
I'm hungry.
244
00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:25,300
(upbeat, quirky music)
245
00:13:35,491 --> 00:13:37,259
(keys jangling)
246
00:13:37,259 --> 00:13:39,310
(chuckling)
247
00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:40,480
- Woo.
248
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,940
I am sore and sticky.
249
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,250
- You're sore?
250
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,874
I feel like I've been
sitting on a fire hydrant.
251
00:13:46,874 --> 00:13:49,196
(laughing)
252
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,029
(gasping)
253
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:50,862
- Oh my god.
254
00:13:53,455 --> 00:13:54,650
- Oh hey guys.
255
00:13:55,487 --> 00:13:59,227
Sorry, but I ate up all your chicken.
256
00:13:59,227 --> 00:14:00,741
(screaming)
257
00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:02,991
(laughing)
258
00:14:04,342 --> 00:14:08,342
(soft, upbeat orchestral music)
259
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:15,641
(beeping)
(upbeat news music)
260
00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:18,190
(sighing)
261
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,510
- If this is a delivery
device from someone's
262
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:23,230
hideous agenda, it's
certainly one that makes
263
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,650
me need to change my pants.
264
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:28,050
Now, uh, we've got a
friend on the line from
265
00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:28,973
Flickhead Video.
266
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,180
Travis, go ahead.
267
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:33,770
You're on the air.
268
00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:34,603
- [Travis] Hiya John.
269
00:14:34,603 --> 00:14:35,436
Thanks.
270
00:14:35,436 --> 00:14:37,550
- I have the video that
you sent in Travis.
271
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:39,930
Now, it took a while to
get onto the computer,
272
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:40,763
but we,
273
00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:44,710
for our younger viewers out there,
274
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:48,010
this is what we used to watch before DVD.
275
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:50,033
VHS cassettes.
276
00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:53,490
Travis, why did you send over this tape?
277
00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:55,870
- [Travis] Well, here at
Flickhead, we take trade ins.
278
00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:57,930
DVD, VHS, Hi8, whatever.
279
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,950
Two weeks back some
vaping millennial fucktard
280
00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:05,180
snowflake came in with
his lumbersexual beard
281
00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:08,090
and he had this great big box, right?
282
00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,550
Inside, I fond this tape.
283
00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:11,500
When I saw the title, it hit me, Johnny.
284
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,180
It was your show.
285
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,013
Okay?
286
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:15,010
Now I watched it all the time.
287
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,640
That Spunk was bad shit.
288
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,520
And I remember it.
289
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,170
And I know, well nobody
fuckin' talks about it anymore,
290
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,800
and I don't know if
it's some Mandela Effect
291
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,420
or somethin', but, but I tell ya,
292
00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:24,703
I had to send it into ya.
293
00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:27,140
- You're absolutely right Travis.
294
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:28,360
It is something bigger.
295
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,100
Is is the truth.
296
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:32,123
Actual, factual truth.
297
00:15:33,185 --> 00:15:34,760
Now you stay tuned, Travis.
298
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,510
We've got something more coming up.
299
00:15:38,796 --> 00:15:40,879
(static)
300
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:48,030
(slow, dramatic music)
301
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,410
- In today's modern world,
there are so many threats
302
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:54,190
facing our children, it's hard
to keep track of them all.
303
00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:56,610
Heavy metal, video games,
304
00:15:56,610 --> 00:15:58,373
live action role play.
305
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:02,590
But there's an epidemic
sweeping across this nation,
306
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:05,070
and it threatens the very lives and souls
307
00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:06,563
of each and every child.
308
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,800
It's in our homes.
309
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,190
It's in our schools,
and it's on our streets.
310
00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:17,403
Parents have been powerless
to stop its insidious spread.
311
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,908
Until now.
312
00:16:20,908 --> 00:16:24,158
(dramatic synth music)
313
00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:29,200
It's a war zone out there.
314
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,530
And parents, consider
this video cassette your
315
00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:33,200
first line of defense.
316
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,033
Learn from us.
317
00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:35,900
We're the experts.
318
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:38,890
Let us help you keep your
kids from ever tasting
319
00:16:39,747 --> 00:16:41,969
the Devil's Spunk.
320
00:16:41,969 --> 00:16:44,469
(synth music)
321
00:17:00,777 --> 00:17:03,027
(laughing)
322
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:11,600
The Devil's Spunk is
transported in prophylactics.
323
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:15,060
These latex abominations that sinners use
324
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,223
to divert God's master plan.
325
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,550
In the average junior high school,
326
00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:24,200
it's said that 93% of students have tried
327
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,830
the Devil's Spunk at least once.
328
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,757
Reports quote them as saying that it's a
329
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,420
"Totally rad drug"
330
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:34,080
and "It didn't taste as bad
as Felicia said it would."
331
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,220
But the most important
statistic that parents
332
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:38,180
need to know is this:
333
00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:41,100
100% of students who've
tried the Devil's Spunk
334
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,783
have just ruined their lives.
335
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:46,878
Forever.
336
00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:49,034
(synth music)
337
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:49,867
Hm.
338
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,233
Let me tell you a story
about a boy named Billy.
339
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:57,790
He was an all star athlete,
340
00:17:57,790 --> 00:18:00,480
starting pitcher for the varsity team.
341
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,500
He got good grades.
342
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,480
Dated a beautiful girl.
343
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,723
Worshiped an even more beautiful God.
344
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,730
That is, until the day
his soft, virgin lips
345
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:13,230
came into contact with
346
00:18:13,230 --> 00:18:14,513
the Devil's Spunk.
347
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:18,460
(spitting)
348
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:21,178
- Give me the heat,
Billy, give me the heat.
349
00:18:21,178 --> 00:18:23,562
(spitting)
350
00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:26,229
Come on Billy, give me the heat.
351
00:18:27,215 --> 00:18:28,846
(spitting)
352
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,763
Give me the heat Billy.
353
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:32,643
Do it.
354
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,450
(kicking)
355
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,500
(spitting)
356
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,500
What was that Billy?
357
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,203
I told you to bring the heat.
358
00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:48,173
That was as cold as my
wife's chicken dinner.
359
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:52,294
(birds chirping)
360
00:18:56,251 --> 00:18:58,751
(synth music)
361
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,020
- Hey Billy.
362
00:19:16,025 --> 00:19:18,360
You look kind of bummed.
363
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,330
- Yeah.
364
00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:21,380
Well you saw me stinkin' it up out there.
365
00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:25,040
I just wanted to impress Coache, you know?
366
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,040
He's like the father figure I never had.
367
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,060
- I got something that might help you out.
368
00:19:31,298 --> 00:19:32,360
- What is it?
369
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:33,690
- Oh man, it's the best.
370
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:36,680
It makes all the bad feelings go away.
371
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,793
Makes you strong.
372
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,170
One gulp of this and you're gonna be
373
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:42,853
rolling heaters all nine innings.
374
00:19:44,927 --> 00:19:46,585
- Is it like a vitamin or something?
375
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,835
(laughing)
376
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,273
- Trust me.
377
00:19:53,273 --> 00:19:54,775
You're gonna love it.
378
00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:57,275
(synth music)
379
00:20:11,281 --> 00:20:14,031
(birds chirping)
380
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,560
- [Coache] Come on,
Billy, bring me the heat.
381
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:22,290
(dramatic music)
382
00:20:22,290 --> 00:20:23,683
- It makes you strong.
383
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,800
One gulp of this and you're
gonna be rolling heaters
384
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,140
all nine innings.
385
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,473
- Billy, bring me the heat.
386
00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:36,010
Bring me the heat, Billy.
387
00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:36,929
Come on, Billy.
388
00:20:36,929 --> 00:20:37,858
Give me the heat.
389
00:20:37,858 --> 00:20:39,778
Come on Billy, bring me the heat.
390
00:20:39,778 --> 00:20:41,939
Bring me the heat.
391
00:20:41,939 --> 00:20:44,689
(dramatic music)
392
00:20:55,165 --> 00:20:57,302
(birds chirping)
393
00:20:57,302 --> 00:20:58,223
Give me the heat!
394
00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,102
Come on Billy!
395
00:20:59,102 --> 00:21:00,029
Bring me the heat.
396
00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:01,070
Bring me the heat.
397
00:21:01,070 --> 00:21:02,293
Bring me the heat.
398
00:21:02,293 --> 00:21:03,682
Bring me the heat, Billy.
399
00:21:03,682 --> 00:21:06,125
Bring me the heat, bring me the heat.
400
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:08,285
Bring me the heat.
401
00:21:08,285 --> 00:21:10,607
Bring me the heat.
402
00:21:10,607 --> 00:21:13,224
Bring me the heat, Billy.
403
00:21:13,224 --> 00:21:15,205
Bring me the heat.
404
00:21:15,205 --> 00:21:16,705
Bring me the heat.
405
00:21:21,536 --> 00:21:23,703
(hitting)
406
00:21:25,489 --> 00:21:28,239
(Coache yelling)
407
00:21:29,111 --> 00:21:30,361
Why, Billy boy?
408
00:21:31,285 --> 00:21:32,821
Why?
409
00:21:32,821 --> 00:21:36,637
I was like the father
figure you never had.
410
00:21:36,637 --> 00:21:38,887
(laughing)
411
00:21:40,561 --> 00:21:41,561
- Oh my god.
412
00:21:42,580 --> 00:21:44,060
Oh, what have I done?
413
00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:45,321
- Oh.
414
00:21:45,321 --> 00:21:47,497
I'm getting cold.
415
00:21:47,497 --> 00:21:49,983
Colder than my wife's chicken dinner.
416
00:21:52,955 --> 00:21:55,370
(laughing)
417
00:21:55,370 --> 00:21:56,203
- No!
418
00:21:58,332 --> 00:22:02,249
(slow, melancholy piano music)
419
00:22:05,973 --> 00:22:07,763
Darn this Devil's Spunk.
420
00:22:09,270 --> 00:22:11,230
- Instead of Ivy League colleges,
421
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,473
today's top students are ending up here.
422
00:22:16,270 --> 00:22:17,653
Cut down in their prime.
423
00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:20,750
It's up to you, America's parents.
424
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:22,820
Will you let the Devil squirt his Spunk
425
00:22:22,820 --> 00:22:24,330
down your children's throats,
426
00:22:24,330 --> 00:22:26,123
rotting them from the inside out?
427
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:31,300
Now that you know what's at stake,
428
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:33,680
you can't afford to stop.
429
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:34,930
In volume two of our series,
430
00:22:34,930 --> 00:22:36,480
we'll teach you everything
you need to know
431
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,500
to keep your children safe,
432
00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:40,280
and to help them spit out
433
00:22:41,130 --> 00:22:42,403
the Devil's Spunk.
434
00:22:43,243 --> 00:22:45,743
(synth music)
435
00:22:50,697 --> 00:22:52,864
(beeping)
436
00:22:55,570 --> 00:22:57,780
- Hollywood has been
corrupting us every year
437
00:22:57,780 --> 00:23:00,200
with the smutty filth that they release
438
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,710
custom made to sell soda
pop and hamburgers that'll
439
00:23:03,710 --> 00:23:06,230
cause you erectile dysfunction.
440
00:23:06,230 --> 00:23:09,440
How have they responded
to the Spunk epidemic?
441
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:10,920
The same as always.
442
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,223
They exploit it.
443
00:23:14,549 --> 00:23:17,920
I got this from documentary
filmmaker Luke Lesser
444
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,880
and he's doing a film with
us on the Spunk epidemic.
445
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,820
He did a shocking interview with director
446
00:23:22,820 --> 00:23:23,983
George Grisby.
447
00:23:25,143 --> 00:23:27,443
You're just gonna have
to see it for yourself.
448
00:23:29,524 --> 00:23:31,430
(static)
449
00:23:31,430 --> 00:23:33,380
- George Grisby, are you George Grisby?
450
00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:34,300
- Yeah, can I--
451
00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:36,490
- I'm here with Actual Factual Truths.
452
00:23:36,490 --> 00:23:38,730
We're making a documentary about Spunk.
453
00:23:38,730 --> 00:23:39,563
- That's great.
454
00:23:39,563 --> 00:23:41,150
Look, I was just going to get the mail.
455
00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:41,983
I'm gonna head back--
456
00:23:41,983 --> 00:23:42,816
- Your film, Spunk of the Reaper.
457
00:23:42,816 --> 00:23:44,870
What were you thinking making this?
458
00:23:44,870 --> 00:23:45,920
- What was I thinking?
459
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,340
Well I think with any film,
there's always an element
460
00:23:48,340 --> 00:23:51,090
of character and, look,
why don't my people
461
00:23:51,090 --> 00:23:51,923
get in contact with your people?
462
00:23:51,923 --> 00:23:54,020
- Do you think it's
responsible to make a film that
463
00:23:54,020 --> 00:23:55,770
reinforces that Spunk is only a fiction?
464
00:23:55,770 --> 00:23:57,200
That it's a myth?
465
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,810
- But it is a fiction.
466
00:23:58,810 --> 00:23:59,643
I mean...
467
00:23:59,643 --> 00:24:03,010
- Is it true that you used
real Spunk in this film?
468
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:04,570
- Where did you hear that?
469
00:24:04,570 --> 00:24:06,920
- Is it true that this
film, you only made it
470
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,300
to get connections in the Spunk industry?
471
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,400
To get free Spunk?
472
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,210
Is it true that you told
your assistant director,
473
00:24:12,210 --> 00:24:15,537
and I quote, "Give me all the
Spunk your mouth can hold?"
474
00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:18,700
- This interview's over.
475
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:20,680
- Is it true that your
lead actress OD'd, and had
476
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,610
to be replaced three times?
477
00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:23,920
- You know, you gotta be
really proud of yourself
478
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,560
spreading this kind of
filth all over the place.
479
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:26,640
- We have evidence.
480
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,270
These are Actual Factual Truths.
481
00:24:28,270 --> 00:24:29,103
- That's great.
482
00:24:29,103 --> 00:24:29,936
Turn the camera off.
483
00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:30,769
- Evidence.
- Right now.
484
00:24:33,425 --> 00:24:35,675
(coughing)
485
00:24:41,239 --> 00:24:42,780
(chuckling)
486
00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:45,180
- That is the face of a man who is afraid
487
00:24:45,180 --> 00:24:46,290
of what he's about.
488
00:24:46,290 --> 00:24:49,530
He's afraid of admitting that
he has become a Spunk head.
489
00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:51,320
One of the converted.
490
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,070
We've got a clip from
Grisby's filth that they think
491
00:24:54,070 --> 00:24:55,870
can tell us where Spunk comes from.
492
00:25:01,528 --> 00:25:04,247
(coughing)
493
00:25:04,247 --> 00:25:06,414
(chiming)
494
00:25:08,390 --> 00:25:13,390
(slow, dramatic music)
(waves crashing)
495
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:10,355
(soft, dramatic music)
(people chattering)
496
00:26:26,690 --> 00:26:29,020
- [Vincent] I never seen a
Spunk sore like that before
497
00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,720
and I was friends with Mark
Cube Winters near the end.
498
00:26:32,570 --> 00:26:33,830
- Yeah, Dar.
499
00:26:33,830 --> 00:26:36,240
This here's the point of no return.
500
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,740
From here on out, it's a
bullet train to oblivion.
501
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,650
- Is this that Senor Dios shit?
502
00:26:41,650 --> 00:26:42,483
Mierda Fuertes.
503
00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:44,884
- Of course not.
504
00:26:44,884 --> 00:26:46,710
I got this shit in Tahiti.
505
00:26:46,710 --> 00:26:48,627
Ken Hurst Showers' connection.
506
00:26:48,627 --> 00:26:51,450
Mierda Fuerte is just now coming out.
507
00:26:51,450 --> 00:26:53,700
- Dio sold a half a key to Chaz Politeri.
508
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:54,650
- Exactly.
509
00:26:54,650 --> 00:26:57,040
Fucking big shot in the Spunk world.
510
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:58,140
- It's not that great.
511
00:26:59,463 --> 00:27:00,435
- What?
512
00:27:00,435 --> 00:27:01,590
- This stuff, it's nothing special.
513
00:27:01,590 --> 00:27:02,720
I can barely feel it.
514
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,520
- Yeah, you always say that.
515
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,420
You could be lying there
frothing at the mouth
516
00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:09,718
telling us that Senor Dios'
shit don't do fuck for you.
517
00:27:09,718 --> 00:27:10,650
(laughing)
518
00:27:10,650 --> 00:27:12,788
- Well now I gotta get some new shit.
519
00:27:12,788 --> 00:27:14,660
- How the fuck did you get here, man?
520
00:27:14,660 --> 00:27:16,500
I mean, you're shooting into an open sore
521
00:27:16,500 --> 00:27:17,930
on your fuckin' arm, you freak.
522
00:27:17,930 --> 00:27:20,432
- Yeah, you ought to get
that shit checked out.
523
00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:23,765
(footsteps approaching)
524
00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:27,080
- [Vincent] Fuck.
525
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,383
- Maybe she wants some Spunk.
526
00:27:34,289 --> 00:27:35,450
You never know.
527
00:27:35,450 --> 00:27:36,460
It's everywhere, man.
528
00:27:36,460 --> 00:27:37,760
All walks of life.
529
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:38,793
I'm tellin' ya.
530
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:40,997
- Look at Darry.
531
00:27:40,997 --> 00:27:43,340
Hey Darry, buddy, you
should've went after her.
532
00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:45,250
- [Bill] That's right, Dar.
533
00:27:45,250 --> 00:27:47,190
Spunkers got a funny way of checking out
534
00:27:47,190 --> 00:27:49,260
when you least expect it.
535
00:27:49,260 --> 00:27:50,883
Seize these moments, man.
536
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,040
You never know which
one could be your last.
537
00:27:57,090 --> 00:27:58,163
- Yes, Darry.
538
00:27:59,687 --> 00:28:01,350
There you go young man.
539
00:28:01,350 --> 00:28:03,060
- [Bill] Go forth!
540
00:28:03,060 --> 00:28:05,270
Lay seed, fine baller!
541
00:28:05,270 --> 00:28:07,520
(laughing)
542
00:28:09,024 --> 00:28:12,274
(dramatic synth music)
543
00:28:23,824 --> 00:28:26,210
- Hey, there, girl.
544
00:28:26,210 --> 00:28:27,043
You got a light?
545
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:33,943
Hey, there, girl.
546
00:28:35,310 --> 00:28:38,883
I've got some Spunk for you.
547
00:28:43,625 --> 00:28:46,875
(slow, dramatic music)
548
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,780
You're Lexi Twist, aren't you?
549
00:29:01,618 --> 00:29:03,380
- Who do I know you from?
550
00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:04,213
- My brother.
551
00:29:05,070 --> 00:29:07,420
My brother took you to prom senior year.
552
00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:08,720
- Michael Ferrero?
553
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:09,553
- Yeah.
554
00:29:10,470 --> 00:29:12,160
You introduced him to Spunk.
555
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,263
- Yeah, I know.
556
00:29:14,930 --> 00:29:15,797
How's he doin'?
557
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,033
- Not great.
558
00:29:19,980 --> 00:29:21,680
- So you're Denny right?
559
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,010
- Darry.
560
00:29:23,010 --> 00:29:23,863
- Darry.
561
00:29:33,220 --> 00:29:35,220
You got some Spunk for me, Darry?
562
00:29:35,220 --> 00:29:36,053
- Some Spunk?
563
00:29:37,410 --> 00:29:38,810
I mean yeah, I do.
564
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:40,597
It's not great or anything, but--
565
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,550
- What is that?
566
00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:45,383
- It's nothing.
567
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:48,593
Fuck.
568
00:29:48,593 --> 00:29:49,426
- Shit.
569
00:29:50,420 --> 00:29:51,520
- It's not a big deal.
570
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,030
- You're gonna fucking die.
571
00:29:55,350 --> 00:29:56,200
- Don't say that.
572
00:30:01,355 --> 00:30:04,688
(slow, dramatic music)
573
00:30:07,674 --> 00:30:10,424
(couple arguing)
574
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,730
- You're on it right now, aren't you?
575
00:30:23,220 --> 00:30:25,000
This is a problem.
576
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,400
- I can take it or leave it.
577
00:30:28,986 --> 00:30:30,086
- Why'd you follow me?
578
00:30:31,140 --> 00:30:32,950
- I don't know, I just,
579
00:30:32,950 --> 00:30:34,720
I remembered that one time
you came over to our house.
580
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,360
I thought maybe you had
some Spunk or something.
581
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,193
I don't know.
582
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,150
- You're cuter than
your brother, you know.
583
00:30:45,460 --> 00:30:46,790
- [Darry] Where are you going?
584
00:30:46,790 --> 00:30:47,840
- My brother's party.
585
00:30:51,130 --> 00:30:52,180
You wanna be my date?
586
00:30:53,070 --> 00:30:53,903
- Date?
587
00:30:53,903 --> 00:30:55,440
- Uh huh.
588
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:56,760
- What is it, a dinner party?
589
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,910
- It's a cooking party.
590
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,180
- But after the cooking
comes the eating, no?
591
00:31:01,180 --> 00:31:02,280
- We're cooking Spunk.
592
00:31:03,230 --> 00:31:04,953
- Well, I accept your invitation.
593
00:31:06,810 --> 00:31:08,010
- Let me do the talking.
594
00:31:08,864 --> 00:31:09,697
(punk rock music)
595
00:31:09,697 --> 00:31:10,690
- [Richard] Don't let it stick.
596
00:31:10,690 --> 00:31:11,850
- [Crystal] I know.
597
00:31:11,850 --> 00:31:14,040
- [Richard] I say that
because you hesitated.
598
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,832
Tom's not getting back
until the Fourth, correct?
599
00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:17,040
- Correct.
600
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,130
Richard, sit down.
601
00:31:19,130 --> 00:31:19,963
- Yoo hoo.
602
00:31:21,075 --> 00:31:23,908
(punk rock music)
603
00:31:25,290 --> 00:31:27,043
- [Richard] You don't
know how to cook anything.
604
00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:31,346
(slow, dramatic music)
605
00:31:33,950 --> 00:31:36,253
- I have a surprise for you, mommy.
606
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,830
He's coming home tonight.
607
00:31:41,816 --> 00:31:44,649
(punk rock music)
608
00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:48,915
- [Richard] Lexi, what up?
609
00:31:48,915 --> 00:31:51,510
(slow, dramatic music)
610
00:31:51,510 --> 00:31:53,484
- [Lexi] I brought a friend.
611
00:31:53,484 --> 00:31:54,775
- You what?
612
00:31:54,775 --> 00:31:56,970
- This is the guy I was telling you about.
613
00:31:56,970 --> 00:31:59,023
He's here to test drive the new shit.
614
00:31:59,023 --> 00:32:01,070
- I thought that wasn't until Tuesday.
615
00:32:01,070 --> 00:32:01,903
- Tonight, Richard.
616
00:32:01,903 --> 00:32:02,803
I told you that.
617
00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:05,740
- He's younger than you made it seem.
618
00:32:05,740 --> 00:32:07,170
- He's young.
619
00:32:07,170 --> 00:32:08,433
But experienced.
620
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,233
- [Richard] Hm.
621
00:32:11,610 --> 00:32:13,280
What's wrong with the arm?
622
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,590
- It's nothing.
623
00:32:14,590 --> 00:32:16,450
I hurt it running across the street.
624
00:32:16,450 --> 00:32:18,645
There was a tire in the street--
625
00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:19,478
Ow.
626
00:32:19,478 --> 00:32:21,480
- Fuck, dude.
627
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,380
I aint never seen that.
628
00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:25,010
Not that bad.
629
00:32:25,010 --> 00:32:26,370
Take a seat Spunky.
630
00:32:26,370 --> 00:32:27,633
Get ready to die young.
631
00:32:28,824 --> 00:32:31,430
(punk rock music)
632
00:32:31,430 --> 00:32:32,263
Excellent.
633
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,320
What's your name, man?
634
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,647
- [Darry] Darry.
635
00:32:36,647 --> 00:32:37,610
- Now, Darry.
636
00:32:37,610 --> 00:32:39,420
Your arm is seriously fucked.
637
00:32:39,420 --> 00:32:41,193
Way beyond reversible.
638
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,060
- Okay.
639
00:32:43,060 --> 00:32:44,380
- I've seen videos of this short of thing,
640
00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:46,270
but never in person.
641
00:32:46,270 --> 00:32:48,700
My uncle Jimmy passed three months ago.
642
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:51,400
His issues weren't half as bad as yours.
643
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,353
You're shooting straight
into that thing, huh?
644
00:32:54,270 --> 00:32:57,103
My uncle Jimmy had his first
shot, he was just pphht.
645
00:32:58,270 --> 00:32:59,440
Gone.
646
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,203
Never had a clear head after that.
647
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,603
So when he started dying, he
wasn't able to deal with it.
648
00:33:07,730 --> 00:33:09,440
Hadn't prepped himself.
649
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,543
Too high to ward off all the bad thoughts.
650
00:33:12,910 --> 00:33:14,110
Got real fuckin' scared.
651
00:33:15,940 --> 00:33:18,383
Never spent any of his
life thinking about death.
652
00:33:21,070 --> 00:33:22,083
You still got time.
653
00:33:23,060 --> 00:33:23,900
- Yeah.
654
00:33:23,900 --> 00:33:25,230
- But tonight?
655
00:33:25,230 --> 00:33:27,440
You're gonna get Spunked to the gils, kid.
656
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,923
Ever heard of Mierda Fuerte?
657
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,220
I thought so.
658
00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:33,123
Crystal, load up.
659
00:33:33,123 --> 00:33:36,700
(punk rock music)
660
00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:38,210
- Oh, Richard, I forgot something.
661
00:33:38,210 --> 00:33:40,720
- I think this is too much.
662
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:42,180
- Nonsense, honey.
663
00:33:42,180 --> 00:33:43,013
Nonsense.
664
00:33:43,013 --> 00:33:44,360
- Richard.
665
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:45,193
- Yeah, Lexi?
666
00:33:47,070 --> 00:33:48,470
- Tom's coming home tonight.
667
00:33:50,090 --> 00:33:51,030
- Tonight?
668
00:33:51,030 --> 00:33:51,863
What do you mean?
669
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:54,180
- I mean tonight.
670
00:33:54,180 --> 00:33:55,013
Any time.
671
00:33:55,013 --> 00:33:56,670
- Well Jesus fucking Christ, like when?
672
00:33:56,670 --> 00:33:57,590
In a couple of hours?
673
00:33:57,590 --> 00:33:58,423
What?
674
00:33:58,423 --> 00:33:59,480
- I don't know.
675
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:00,700
Any time.
676
00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:02,330
It could be any time.
677
00:34:02,330 --> 00:34:04,200
- I'm not gonna have the
batch done until Thursday.
678
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,263
- [Lexi] Well you're just
gonna have to tell him that.
679
00:34:07,460 --> 00:34:09,030
- Yeah.
680
00:34:09,030 --> 00:34:10,000
- [Crystal] Jesus, Richard.
681
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:10,950
- It's gonna be fine.
682
00:34:10,950 --> 00:34:12,820
Why the fuck didn't you tell me?
683
00:34:12,820 --> 00:34:14,970
- Tom said not to use the phones.
684
00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:16,820
- Use a payphone!
685
00:34:16,820 --> 00:34:17,740
Fuck, Lexi!
686
00:34:17,740 --> 00:34:19,276
- It's not that big of a deal.
687
00:34:19,276 --> 00:34:20,109
- God!
688
00:34:21,506 --> 00:34:24,756
(slow, dramatic music)
689
00:34:29,230 --> 00:34:30,970
- Who's Tom?
690
00:34:30,970 --> 00:34:31,970
- [Lexi] My brother.
691
00:34:32,890 --> 00:34:34,680
- I thought he was your brother.
692
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:35,513
- He's not.
693
00:34:37,265 --> 00:34:38,932
Well kind of, he is.
694
00:34:40,056 --> 00:34:41,160
- Yeah.
695
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:42,765
Well, this has been fun and all,
696
00:34:42,765 --> 00:34:43,803
but not really what I was expecting.
697
00:34:43,803 --> 00:34:46,870
- Now I know you didn't
follow me for nothing.
698
00:34:46,870 --> 00:34:48,470
- You know what I came here for.
699
00:34:49,980 --> 00:34:53,230
(slow, dramatic music)
700
00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:58,845
Your mom is really freaking me out.
701
00:34:58,845 --> 00:35:00,740
- I thought you said you had
some Spunk for me, Darry.
702
00:35:00,740 --> 00:35:02,350
- I think you have better stuff here.
703
00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:04,116
- I want yours, big guy.
704
00:35:04,116 --> 00:35:04,949
- Jesus Lexi.
705
00:35:04,949 --> 00:35:06,560
Can you help me clean up a little?
706
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:07,440
What if he came home right now?
707
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,923
- He'll be mad at you, not me.
708
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:14,860
- Fuck you!
709
00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:15,693
- Fuck you.
710
00:35:18,151 --> 00:35:20,901
(dramatic music)
711
00:35:51,561 --> 00:35:54,478
(speaking Spanish)
712
00:35:55,881 --> 00:35:57,225
- Hola.
713
00:35:57,225 --> 00:35:59,412
- [All] Hola, senor.
714
00:35:59,412 --> 00:36:02,880
(upbeat Spanish music)
715
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:03,713
- Hi, mom.
716
00:36:04,780 --> 00:36:08,030
(upbeat Spanish music)
717
00:36:10,170 --> 00:36:11,440
Richard.
- Yeah, Tom?
718
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,550
- Why the fuck are you
still cookin' the shit?
719
00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:15,820
- There was some
miscommunication as to when
720
00:36:15,820 --> 00:36:16,653
you were gonna be coming--
721
00:36:16,653 --> 00:36:18,590
(gunshot)
722
00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:20,270
- You couldn't just
hurry him along, Crystal?
723
00:36:20,270 --> 00:36:21,820
- I tried, Tom.
724
00:36:21,820 --> 00:36:23,907
Honest to God, I tried.
725
00:36:23,907 --> 00:36:26,074
(gunshot)
726
00:36:29,782 --> 00:36:32,840
- [Lexi] That is the loudest damn gun.
727
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,810
- You get one chance
in this world, matones.
728
00:36:35,810 --> 00:36:37,513
And it's into the darkness you go.
729
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:40,393
Who's the greaser?
730
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,260
- This is our new test monkey.
731
00:36:44,750 --> 00:36:45,583
- Yeah?
732
00:36:50,630 --> 00:36:52,880
You gonna shoot or get
off the pot, pony boy?
733
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:56,213
- I was,
734
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,220
I'm actually not that guy.
735
00:36:59,220 --> 00:37:01,270
She just invited me in--
- Take it easy.
736
00:37:03,980 --> 00:37:05,043
Let me see that arm.
737
00:37:10,752 --> 00:37:14,002
(slow, dramatic music)
738
00:37:20,215 --> 00:37:23,132
(speaking Spanish)
739
00:37:25,930 --> 00:37:26,763
- I really,
740
00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:29,403
your sister lied to me.
741
00:37:30,271 --> 00:37:31,610
I didn't--
742
00:37:31,610 --> 00:37:33,400
I don't wanna be here.
743
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:34,410
For any of this.
744
00:37:34,410 --> 00:37:36,580
- Well, you're here.
745
00:37:38,230 --> 00:37:40,630
And I've got everything
you've been waiting for.
746
00:37:41,820 --> 00:37:42,693
Hold still.
747
00:37:44,357 --> 00:37:47,607
(slow, dramatic music)
748
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,260
You're already on your way out,
749
00:37:58,260 --> 00:38:01,143
so why not climb up onto the higher plain?
750
00:38:02,798 --> 00:38:06,048
(slow, dramatic music)
751
00:38:15,630 --> 00:38:16,843
He's feeling it, Lexi.
752
00:38:17,780 --> 00:38:18,823
Look at this fuck.
753
00:38:20,350 --> 00:38:22,690
Embrace the nothing, kid.
754
00:38:22,690 --> 00:38:24,790
It's only the transition that's troubling.
755
00:38:27,570 --> 00:38:29,630
We're trying to provide good citizens
756
00:38:29,630 --> 00:38:30,880
with a taste of oblivion.
757
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:32,973
The warm shroud.
758
00:38:34,630 --> 00:38:37,270
That's how Mierda Fuerte's different.
759
00:38:37,270 --> 00:38:40,013
It holds your hand as you cross over.
760
00:38:45,310 --> 00:38:46,930
And once you cross that
chasm, you're one with
761
00:38:46,930 --> 00:38:47,863
everything else.
762
00:38:49,118 --> 00:38:51,420
(slow, dramatic music)
763
00:38:51,420 --> 00:38:53,327
So soak in the sensations now.
764
00:38:54,180 --> 00:38:56,973
You've only got one shot to die properly.
765
00:38:59,333 --> 00:39:02,583
(slow, dramatic music)
766
00:39:24,846 --> 00:39:27,096
(clicking)
767
00:39:28,453 --> 00:39:33,453
(disembodied voices)
(slow, dramatic music)
768
00:39:41,883 --> 00:39:43,120
- There's a unit out back.
769
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,587
It's where Tom keeps all the stuff.
770
00:39:45,587 --> 00:39:47,750
If we take his car, we can
make a break for Mexico
771
00:39:47,750 --> 00:39:50,667
before anyone knows what happened.
772
00:39:50,667 --> 00:39:53,917
(slow, dramatic music)
773
00:39:57,016 --> 00:39:59,849
(heavy breathing)
774
00:40:01,164 --> 00:40:03,123
- Why did you bring me here?
775
00:40:03,123 --> 00:40:04,394
- Honey.
776
00:40:04,394 --> 00:40:06,144
You brought yourself.
777
00:40:08,052 --> 00:40:10,552
(gun cocking)
778
00:40:12,411 --> 00:40:13,244
Mom?
779
00:40:14,768 --> 00:40:19,768
(heavy breathing)
(sniffling)
780
00:40:25,306 --> 00:40:27,843
(gunshot)
781
00:40:27,843 --> 00:40:30,593
(dramatic music)
782
00:40:54,314 --> 00:40:57,564
(slow, dramatic music)
783
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,563
(disembodied voices)
784
00:41:24,035 --> 00:41:29,035
(disembodied voices)
(slow piano music)
785
00:41:34,426 --> 00:41:39,426
(waves crashing)
(slow piano music)
786
00:41:57,005 --> 00:41:59,755
(waves crashing)
787
00:42:08,155 --> 00:42:10,905
(dramatic music)
788
00:42:17,442 --> 00:42:22,442
(sniffing)
(dramatic music)
789
00:42:23,847 --> 00:42:26,680
(deeply exhaling)
790
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,070
- And it's not just the
drugs on the streets
791
00:42:31,070 --> 00:42:32,580
or the Hollywood elitists.
792
00:42:32,580 --> 00:42:34,953
It's a whole goddamn web of bullshit.
793
00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:37,920
Here to tell you more is Rufus,
794
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,110
our had researcher.
795
00:42:39,110 --> 00:42:41,370
He's gonna give you the
straight poop, folks.
796
00:42:41,370 --> 00:42:42,853
Take it away, Rufus.
797
00:42:45,780 --> 00:42:47,040
- Spunk is evil.
798
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,330
This, we know for a fact,
and it takes many forms,
799
00:42:49,330 --> 00:42:51,380
but what is the goal of this plan?
800
00:42:51,380 --> 00:42:53,260
Well we start with street crime.
801
00:42:53,260 --> 00:42:55,630
You know, the usual
government control methods.
802
00:42:55,630 --> 00:42:57,310
Then we have Spunk denial.
803
00:42:57,310 --> 00:43:00,500
That's Hollywood, news media,
804
00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:02,210
and millennials.
805
00:43:02,210 --> 00:43:05,170
Next, we have government,
and they are the true
806
00:43:05,170 --> 00:43:06,540
pushers of this drug because no matter
807
00:43:06,540 --> 00:43:08,320
where it came from, one
thing's for certain.
808
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,300
They are using it on us.
809
00:43:10,300 --> 00:43:14,200
Drinking water, chem
trails, and weather control.
810
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,680
Florida, America's wing,
has more to worry about
811
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,940
than Viagra shortages this year.
812
00:43:18,940 --> 00:43:21,560
Now, what we have here clearly shows that
813
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,070
Spunk is not only real,
but it is everywhere and...
814
00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:32,090
Jesus Christ, the Illuminati, of course.
815
00:43:32,090 --> 00:43:33,480
John, I need to look at my notes.
816
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,680
This changes everything.
817
00:43:36,119 --> 00:43:38,286
(chiming)
818
00:43:44,699 --> 00:43:48,032
(soft orchestral music)
819
00:43:50,305 --> 00:43:52,555
(knocking)
820
00:43:53,423 --> 00:43:56,756
(soft orchestral music)
821
00:44:14,695 --> 00:44:16,310
- Oh, wow.
822
00:44:16,310 --> 00:44:17,560
Nice place you have here.
823
00:44:19,485 --> 00:44:22,818
(soft orchestral music)
824
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:26,473
- Thanks.
825
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,547
Costs an arm and a leg, but, uh,
826
00:44:31,226 --> 00:44:33,113
I really do like the location.
827
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,130
- Wait, you have a room mate?
828
00:44:39,620 --> 00:44:41,780
It costs extra for two.
829
00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:43,450
I don't really mind if anyone watches
830
00:44:43,450 --> 00:44:45,450
as long as they don't do anything weird.
831
00:44:47,530 --> 00:44:48,793
- That's a spare bedroom.
832
00:44:50,630 --> 00:44:53,773
I've been thinking about getting
another room mate, but, uh,
833
00:44:54,755 --> 00:44:58,377
it's really hard to find
somebody you can trust, you know?
834
00:44:58,377 --> 00:45:00,460
- Yeah, I totally get it.
835
00:45:01,669 --> 00:45:04,002
(unzipping)
836
00:45:07,552 --> 00:45:08,385
- Drink?
837
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:12,280
- I don't usually drink around clients.
838
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,054
But, you seem pretty normal.
839
00:45:14,054 --> 00:45:16,250
(Elijah laughing)
840
00:45:16,250 --> 00:45:18,200
- Glad you think so.
841
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,550
You should tell my ex that.
842
00:45:21,232 --> 00:45:23,860
(soft orchestral music)
843
00:45:23,860 --> 00:45:25,220
You mind if I partake?
844
00:45:25,220 --> 00:45:26,320
- [Chance] Not at all.
845
00:45:27,916 --> 00:45:28,890
(lighter igniting)
846
00:45:28,890 --> 00:45:30,933
You know, that shit makes me tired.
847
00:45:31,770 --> 00:45:32,883
Got anything else?
848
00:45:33,753 --> 00:45:37,086
(soft orchestral music)
849
00:45:39,475 --> 00:45:41,720
- I've got this stuff called Spunk.
850
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:42,553
- Spunk?
851
00:45:43,650 --> 00:45:44,563
- Yeah.
852
00:45:45,860 --> 00:45:47,263
It's kind of like weed.
853
00:45:48,670 --> 00:45:51,093
I mean, you've had the
munchies before, right?
854
00:45:52,090 --> 00:45:56,370
On this, it's like a thousand times more.
855
00:45:56,370 --> 00:45:58,553
I mean, this shit's fucking insatiable.
856
00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:02,750
It's pretty expensive and pretty strong.
857
00:46:02,750 --> 00:46:03,583
- I'll pass.
858
00:46:04,850 --> 00:46:05,783
- [Elijah] Alright.
859
00:46:08,523 --> 00:46:12,390
(soft orchestral music)
860
00:46:12,390 --> 00:46:14,490
- You know, you're a lot better looking
861
00:46:14,490 --> 00:46:16,140
than most guys that have me over.
862
00:46:17,530 --> 00:46:20,423
And, this isn't a shitty
motel by the highway.
863
00:46:22,380 --> 00:46:24,593
Are you sure you need to
hire someone to fuck you?
864
00:46:26,335 --> 00:46:27,253
- The truth is,
865
00:46:28,810 --> 00:46:31,953
this is my first time ever
doing something like this.
866
00:46:33,953 --> 00:46:36,180
I could just really go for something with
867
00:46:36,180 --> 00:46:38,260
no strings attached.
868
00:46:38,260 --> 00:46:39,303
Is that bad?
869
00:46:40,410 --> 00:46:42,580
- I like no strings.
870
00:46:42,580 --> 00:46:44,180
How do you feel about no shirts?
871
00:46:49,957 --> 00:46:52,815
(dramatic music)
872
00:46:52,815 --> 00:46:55,242
(both sighing)
873
00:46:55,242 --> 00:46:56,075
Wow.
874
00:46:59,367 --> 00:47:01,310
I usually charge double
for that last thing
875
00:47:01,310 --> 00:47:03,193
you did there, but, damn.
876
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,190
This isn't your first rodeo, is it?
877
00:47:08,063 --> 00:47:10,280
- I can't say that it is.
878
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,693
- Well, practice makes perfect, I guess.
879
00:47:14,978 --> 00:47:19,978
Hey, do you mind if I use
your bathroom real quick?
880
00:47:20,132 --> 00:47:21,420
- Sure.
881
00:47:21,420 --> 00:47:26,075
Knock yourself out.
882
00:47:26,075 --> 00:47:29,325
(slow, dramatic music)
883
00:47:31,856 --> 00:47:32,848
(dramatic music)
884
00:47:32,848 --> 00:47:35,015
(gasping)
885
00:47:37,779 --> 00:47:39,946
(hitting)
886
00:47:42,099 --> 00:47:44,849
(dramatic music)
887
00:47:58,097 --> 00:48:00,264
(cutting)
888
00:48:05,437 --> 00:48:08,687
(slow, dramatic music)
889
00:48:23,602 --> 00:48:25,213
(laughing)
890
00:48:25,213 --> 00:48:26,498
"Knock yourself out."
891
00:48:26,498 --> 00:48:28,002
(laughing)
892
00:48:28,002 --> 00:48:30,348
I crack myself up sometimes.
893
00:48:30,348 --> 00:48:32,304
"Knock yourself out."
894
00:48:32,304 --> 00:48:34,554
That's a fucking great one.
895
00:48:35,450 --> 00:48:37,603
"Knock yourself out."
896
00:48:37,603 --> 00:48:41,322
"Knock yourself out."
(laughing)
897
00:48:41,322 --> 00:48:45,644
"Knock yourself out."
(laughing)
898
00:48:45,644 --> 00:48:50,644
'Cause you're knocked out.
(laughing)
899
00:48:51,147 --> 00:48:54,397
(slow, tinkling music)
900
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,957
(soft jazzy music)
901
00:49:26,896 --> 00:49:29,646
(woman laughing)
902
00:49:32,257 --> 00:49:37,257
(people chattering)
(slow, dramatic music)
903
00:49:48,290 --> 00:49:50,050
You picked a beautiful spot on a bleak day
904
00:49:50,050 --> 00:49:52,059
to read a bleak novel.
905
00:49:52,059 --> 00:49:53,680
(laughing)
906
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:55,430
- It was next on my list of books to read,
907
00:49:55,430 --> 00:49:58,195
and who doesn't love a
bleak novel on a bleak day?
908
00:49:58,195 --> 00:49:59,110
(chuckling)
909
00:49:59,110 --> 00:50:01,010
- If I'm gonna be reading
about the end of the world,
910
00:50:01,010 --> 00:50:03,710
I'd prefer to be at home in
a bathtub full of bubbles.
911
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:05,490
Do you mind?
912
00:50:05,490 --> 00:50:06,323
- Sure.
913
00:50:09,430 --> 00:50:10,420
- I'm Elijah.
914
00:50:10,420 --> 00:50:11,410
- Madison.
915
00:50:11,410 --> 00:50:12,860
But everybody calls me Maddy.
916
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,550
- How long is that list of yours, Maddy?
917
00:50:16,550 --> 00:50:19,500
- Unfortunately, it's growing
a lot faster than I can read.
918
00:50:20,770 --> 00:50:23,250
But, when you read all the
articles, it takes a lot
919
00:50:23,250 --> 00:50:25,031
longer to get through those Playboys.
920
00:50:25,031 --> 00:50:25,864
(laughing)
921
00:50:25,864 --> 00:50:28,240
- When I was in middle school,
922
00:50:28,240 --> 00:50:30,263
I read so many Playboy articles
923
00:50:30,263 --> 00:50:32,967
that I gave myself carpal tunnel syndrome.
924
00:50:32,967 --> 00:50:35,217
(laughing)
925
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:39,440
On a good day, a book
like that can be finished
926
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:40,390
in one sitting.
927
00:50:40,390 --> 00:50:42,300
Do you plan on being here all day?
928
00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:43,830
- I was just planning on coming here
929
00:50:43,830 --> 00:50:46,060
and taking in the sights
and sounds and seeing
930
00:50:46,060 --> 00:50:47,520
where my day takes me.
931
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:48,353
What about you?
932
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,000
- I like coming in here to draw.
933
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:53,303
- [Maddy] What do you like to draw?
934
00:50:54,150 --> 00:50:55,203
- I've been, uh,
935
00:50:56,580 --> 00:50:58,800
working on things that don't move.
936
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,350
Uh, maybe one day I'll be
able to capture movement.
937
00:51:02,500 --> 00:51:03,333
- I get it.
938
00:51:03,333 --> 00:51:05,570
When I was in college,
I took an art class.
939
00:51:05,570 --> 00:51:07,320
For an entire quarter, I stood there
940
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,160
in front of canvas,
with paintbrush in hand,
941
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:10,488
and somehow, I got worse.
942
00:51:10,488 --> 00:51:12,738
(laughing)
943
00:51:13,718 --> 00:51:14,551
- Oh.
944
00:51:17,730 --> 00:51:19,140
- Can I see some of your drawings?
945
00:51:19,140 --> 00:51:19,973
- Uh.
946
00:51:22,300 --> 00:51:23,980
No, it's really not--
947
00:51:23,980 --> 00:51:24,830
- [Maddy] Just a little peak.
948
00:51:24,830 --> 00:51:28,385
- No, it's really not
ready to be seen or...
949
00:51:28,385 --> 00:51:29,218
- [Maddy] Just a little?
950
00:51:29,218 --> 00:51:30,210
- No.
951
00:51:30,210 --> 00:51:31,043
I mean,
952
00:51:32,090 --> 00:51:33,090
no.
953
00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:33,923
Um...
954
00:51:35,420 --> 00:51:37,227
- I promise I won't say anything.
955
00:51:38,875 --> 00:51:39,708
- It...
956
00:51:40,577 --> 00:51:41,913
I'm gonna go.
957
00:51:43,540 --> 00:51:45,240
- It was nice meeting you, Elijah.
958
00:51:46,343 --> 00:51:49,420
(people chattering)
959
00:51:49,420 --> 00:51:50,520
- [Elijah] Maddy?
960
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:51,353
- Yeah?
961
00:51:52,460 --> 00:51:54,323
- [Elijah] Would you like
to go out to dinner tonight?
962
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:56,400
- Dinner sounds like fun.
963
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:57,340
- Great.
964
00:51:57,340 --> 00:51:58,560
How does six sound?
965
00:51:58,560 --> 00:51:59,570
- It sounds perfect.
966
00:52:00,739 --> 00:52:02,656
- I'll see you tonight.
967
00:52:04,441 --> 00:52:07,524
(upbeat jazzy music)
968
00:52:16,818 --> 00:52:19,735
(lighter igniting)
969
00:52:22,585 --> 00:52:25,668
(upbeat jazzy music)
970
00:53:15,392 --> 00:53:18,475
(upbeat jazzy music)
971
00:53:28,213 --> 00:53:30,380
(zipping)
972
00:53:34,272 --> 00:53:37,855
(strange electronic music)
973
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:51,230
Keep it down tonight, buddy.
974
00:53:51,230 --> 00:53:52,163
I got a hot date.
975
00:53:53,473 --> 00:53:57,056
(strange electronic music)
976
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:00,433
Whiskey.
977
00:54:00,433 --> 00:54:01,526
- [Waiter] A whiskey.
978
00:54:01,526 --> 00:54:03,070
Alright.
979
00:54:03,070 --> 00:54:05,770
And, would you like to start
out with any appetizers?
980
00:54:05,770 --> 00:54:08,080
Like to hear our specials?
981
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:08,950
- Sure.
982
00:54:08,950 --> 00:54:10,260
- [Waiter] We've got an egg flower soup,
983
00:54:10,260 --> 00:54:12,270
with a side of fava beans.
984
00:54:12,270 --> 00:54:13,500
Interest you at all?
985
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:14,333
- No.
986
00:54:14,333 --> 00:54:15,469
Just the drink.
987
00:54:15,469 --> 00:54:16,302
- [Waiter] Alright.
988
00:54:16,302 --> 00:54:17,313
One whiskey coming up for ya.
989
00:54:21,652 --> 00:54:24,235
(door opening)
990
00:54:25,886 --> 00:54:30,886
(footsteps approaching)
(slow, dramatic music)
991
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:34,033
- Hey.
992
00:54:37,545 --> 00:54:40,628
(soft, upbeat music)
993
00:54:53,379 --> 00:54:56,379
(muffled screaming)
994
00:54:57,414 --> 00:54:58,247
- Shh.
995
00:54:59,235 --> 00:55:02,235
(muffled screaming)
996
00:55:03,172 --> 00:55:04,005
Shh.
997
00:55:05,982 --> 00:55:09,488
(muffled screaming)
998
00:55:09,488 --> 00:55:11,260
You know it takes a
lot longer to bleed out
999
00:55:11,260 --> 00:55:13,919
than they make to look in the movies.
1000
00:55:13,919 --> 00:55:16,690
Last time I cut some guy's dick off,
1001
00:55:16,690 --> 00:55:19,130
he just sat there and cried and whined
1002
00:55:19,130 --> 00:55:21,140
like a little girl for three hours
1003
00:55:23,202 --> 00:55:25,452
before he finally bled out.
1004
00:55:29,872 --> 00:55:34,872
(soft operatic music)
(muffled screaming)
1005
00:55:41,710 --> 00:55:42,543
By the way,
1006
00:55:44,430 --> 00:55:45,693
great spot for dinner.
1007
00:55:47,940 --> 00:55:49,255
I'm sure by now you can tell that I'm
1008
00:55:49,255 --> 00:55:51,679
not really into the drinks.
1009
00:55:51,679 --> 00:55:54,679
But I sure appreciate the cocktails.
1010
00:55:56,274 --> 00:55:58,785
You seemed like such a nice guy.
1011
00:55:58,785 --> 00:56:03,785
(muffled screaming)
(soft operatic music)
1012
00:56:06,656 --> 00:56:09,105
You really need to try
1013
00:56:09,105 --> 00:56:10,145
(coughing)
1014
00:56:10,145 --> 00:56:11,738
this Spunk stuff.
1015
00:56:11,738 --> 00:56:12,571
I mean,
1016
00:56:14,023 --> 00:56:16,345
why eat a cheeseburger
when you can eat a guy
1017
00:56:16,345 --> 00:56:18,400
that you just met at the coffee shop?
1018
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:19,915
Am I right?
1019
00:56:19,915 --> 00:56:24,915
(muffled screaming)
(soft operatic music)
1020
00:56:41,609 --> 00:56:44,912
(staggered breathing)
1021
00:56:44,912 --> 00:56:47,503
Oh yeah, it looks like
dinner's almost bled out.
1022
00:56:49,900 --> 00:56:51,221
Hey.
1023
00:56:51,221 --> 00:56:52,693
Thanks again for the drinks.
1024
00:56:54,890 --> 00:56:57,343
You seemed like such a nice guy.
1025
00:56:58,465 --> 00:57:01,632
(soft operatic music)
1026
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,090
(electronic music)
1027
00:57:08,090 --> 00:57:10,590
- You're saying that you're
the last one, senator?
1028
00:57:12,128 --> 00:57:13,679
- Everyone else is one of them.
1029
00:57:13,679 --> 00:57:15,432
Everyone else is one of them.
1030
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:16,910
They're out to get me, John.
1031
00:57:16,910 --> 00:57:17,970
They're everywhere.
1032
00:57:17,970 --> 00:57:18,960
I sent the pictures.
1033
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:19,890
I sent them.
1034
00:57:19,890 --> 00:57:21,120
You've got to get them out there.
1035
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:22,570
You've gotta get 'em out there.
1036
00:57:22,570 --> 00:57:24,020
- My god, senator.
1037
00:57:24,020 --> 00:57:26,610
You're saying that they have
control of the military?
1038
00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:29,270
- It was a silent but deadly invasion.
1039
00:57:29,270 --> 00:57:30,453
Their gonads.
1040
00:57:31,430 --> 00:57:33,235
Their gonads.
1041
00:57:33,235 --> 00:57:36,089
(slow, dramatic music)
1042
00:57:36,089 --> 00:57:37,710
(gunshot)
1043
00:57:37,710 --> 00:57:38,543
- Senator?
1044
00:57:39,750 --> 00:57:41,370
Senator?
1045
00:57:41,370 --> 00:57:42,203
Senator?
1046
00:57:44,243 --> 00:57:45,243
Sweet Jesus.
1047
00:57:50,211 --> 00:57:51,294
Their gonads?
1048
00:57:53,155 --> 00:57:56,405
(slow, dramatic music)
1049
00:58:10,193 --> 00:58:12,443
Sweet Mary mother of Jesus.
1050
00:58:14,829 --> 00:58:18,220
(dramatic music)
1051
00:58:18,220 --> 00:58:21,137
(lighter igniting)
1052
00:58:22,021 --> 00:58:23,821
(lighter igniting)
1053
00:58:23,821 --> 00:58:27,321
(upbeat electronic music)
1054
00:58:35,109 --> 00:58:37,460
- What type of super hero would you be?
1055
00:58:37,460 --> 00:58:39,280
- I think you mean what
kind of super powers
1056
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:40,320
would you want?
1057
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:41,950
- Oh.
1058
00:58:41,950 --> 00:58:43,323
That makes more sense.
1059
00:58:44,170 --> 00:58:45,670
- I would not be a super hero.
1060
00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:48,000
People don't deserve my mercy.
1061
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,980
- You would be the best villain, Becky.
1062
00:58:49,980 --> 00:58:51,437
- Yeah, I know, right?
1063
00:58:52,530 --> 00:58:54,420
- I would be a super hero for sure.
1064
00:58:54,420 --> 00:58:56,770
- Oh sweetie, I don't
think you'd last very long
1065
00:58:56,770 --> 00:58:58,050
if you had powers.
1066
00:58:58,050 --> 00:58:59,380
Probably end up with something like fire
1067
00:58:59,380 --> 00:59:00,270
and blow yourself up.
1068
00:59:00,270 --> 00:59:03,170
- Either that, or I'd have to kill you.
1069
00:59:03,170 --> 00:59:04,670
Being a super villain and all.
1070
00:59:07,590 --> 00:59:08,981
- I would heal people.
1071
00:59:08,981 --> 00:59:11,810
- Oh, look at you wanting
to save the world.
1072
00:59:11,810 --> 00:59:13,993
- When my mom was dying of cancer,
1073
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,353
I used to pray and pray
that I could heal her.
1074
00:59:21,670 --> 00:59:23,770
It would be my way of making it up to her.
1075
00:59:25,020 --> 00:59:26,220
- Well that took a turn.
1076
00:59:27,069 --> 00:59:29,190
(door closing)
1077
00:59:29,190 --> 00:59:30,183
- What was that?
1078
00:59:31,469 --> 00:59:33,890
- [Becky] It was probably
just the pizza Abby ordered.
1079
00:59:33,890 --> 00:59:35,420
- And they let themselves into the house?
1080
00:59:35,420 --> 00:59:39,200
- Wait, I was the one that was
supposed to order the pizza?
1081
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,160
- You're kidding me, right?
1082
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:42,050
I'm dying right now.
1083
00:59:42,050 --> 00:59:44,160
Like my body is literally
eating itself alive,
1084
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:45,770
I'm so fucking hungry.
1085
00:59:45,770 --> 00:59:47,610
- [Abby] Well that's
what you get for putting
1086
00:59:47,610 --> 00:59:50,230
me in charge of responsibilities.
1087
00:59:50,230 --> 00:59:51,063
- Hold on.
1088
00:59:52,749 --> 00:59:54,237
(growling)
1089
00:59:54,237 --> 00:59:55,070
- Baby!
1090
00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:58,380
- You scared the shit out of me.
1091
00:59:58,380 --> 00:59:59,720
- Tonight's no boys allowed.
1092
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:00,553
- Easy now.
1093
01:00:00,553 --> 01:00:01,863
And here, I brought you a gift.
1094
01:00:04,865 --> 01:00:06,160
- I'm sorry about my cousin.
1095
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:07,810
He can be a little immature.
1096
01:00:07,810 --> 01:00:09,030
- A little?
1097
01:00:09,030 --> 01:00:09,863
- Relax.
1098
01:00:09,863 --> 01:00:11,510
And here, I brought you a gift, too.
1099
01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:15,733
- Nice, Spunk.
1100
01:00:16,900 --> 01:00:18,630
- Sorry, what?
1101
01:00:18,630 --> 01:00:19,780
- You're kidding, right?
1102
01:00:19,780 --> 01:00:21,068
You don't know what Spunk is?
1103
01:00:21,068 --> 01:00:22,700
- It's just like that pipe
you're smokin' over there.
1104
01:00:22,700 --> 01:00:24,450
- I mean, I know what Spunk is, but,
1105
01:00:24,450 --> 01:00:27,220
why would someone wanna
take your orgasm juice
1106
01:00:27,220 --> 01:00:28,530
and turn it into a drug?
1107
01:00:28,530 --> 01:00:30,450
- That's uh, that's not how it works.
1108
01:00:30,450 --> 01:00:32,110
- It is the way I do it.
1109
01:00:32,110 --> 01:00:33,980
- What would make you think
I wanted that as a gift?
1110
01:00:33,980 --> 01:00:35,677
- Oh come on, all the
cool kids are doing it.
1111
01:00:35,677 --> 01:00:36,730
All you have to do is open wide.
1112
01:00:36,730 --> 01:00:38,530
I'll take care of the rest.
1113
01:00:38,530 --> 01:00:40,100
- Xombie Spunk?
1114
01:00:40,100 --> 01:00:41,810
- Yeah it's this new strand.
1115
01:00:41,810 --> 01:00:43,050
I haven't tried it yet.
1116
01:00:43,050 --> 01:00:44,823
- But I heard that it's awesome.
1117
01:00:45,660 --> 01:00:47,460
Do you wanna try it?
1118
01:00:47,460 --> 01:00:49,210
- Do I wanna put Spunk in my mouth?
1119
01:00:51,410 --> 01:00:52,610
Can I lick it off your body?
1120
01:00:52,610 --> 01:00:53,627
- Yeah, sure.
1121
01:00:53,627 --> 01:00:54,460
- Alright.
1122
01:00:56,780 --> 01:00:57,613
- Gross.
1123
01:00:58,970 --> 01:01:00,590
- Oh, come on.
1124
01:01:00,590 --> 01:01:02,092
It'll be fun.
1125
01:01:02,092 --> 01:01:03,160
- It's supposed to be a girl's night.
1126
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:04,280
No boys allowed.
1127
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,563
- Ugh, but, drugs and stuff.
1128
01:01:08,803 --> 01:01:09,636
- Yeah.
1129
01:01:09,636 --> 01:01:10,597
Drugs and stuff.
1130
01:01:14,073 --> 01:01:17,323
(slow, dramatic music)
1131
01:01:19,359 --> 01:01:24,192
(bed squeaking)
(moaning)
1132
01:01:36,620 --> 01:01:38,200
- What kind of super power would you have?
1133
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:40,493
I mean, like, if you could choose?
1134
01:01:42,313 --> 01:01:43,670
I always thought I wanted to be invisible,
1135
01:01:43,670 --> 01:01:46,580
but not like in the pervy way.
1136
01:01:46,580 --> 01:01:48,153
Just,
1137
01:01:48,153 --> 01:01:50,150
I just didn't know who I was.
1138
01:01:50,150 --> 01:01:51,350
I mean, until I met you.
1139
01:01:52,546 --> 01:01:55,212
(electronic music)
1140
01:01:55,212 --> 01:01:58,129
I don't think this Spunk's working.
1141
01:01:59,630 --> 01:02:00,563
Lucy, you okay?
1142
01:02:02,010 --> 01:02:04,927
(electronic music)
1143
01:02:07,030 --> 01:02:08,330
Lucy, stop fuckin' around.
1144
01:02:11,077 --> 01:02:14,380
(dramatic music)
1145
01:02:14,380 --> 01:02:17,762
(slow, dramatic music)
1146
01:02:17,762 --> 01:02:20,179
(clattering)
1147
01:02:22,354 --> 01:02:24,354
- What the hell is that?
1148
01:02:25,509 --> 01:02:26,600
(Lucy yelling)
1149
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:27,433
- [Abby] Becky?
1150
01:02:30,243 --> 01:02:31,243
- Where's my cousin?
1151
01:02:32,650 --> 01:02:33,483
- In there.
1152
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:36,180
- Baby, don't.
1153
01:02:36,180 --> 01:02:37,013
- Give me a break.
1154
01:02:37,013 --> 01:02:38,173
She's just tweakin'.
1155
01:02:40,692 --> 01:02:41,525
You gotta move.
1156
01:02:42,617 --> 01:02:46,670
(slow, dramatic music)
1157
01:02:46,670 --> 01:02:48,170
Hey, Lucy?
1158
01:02:48,170 --> 01:02:49,020
- What'd you see?
1159
01:02:50,620 --> 01:02:51,533
- Hey Lucy?
1160
01:02:52,700 --> 01:02:53,893
It's me, Guy.
1161
01:02:59,791 --> 01:03:01,350
(growling)
(yelling)
1162
01:03:01,350 --> 01:03:02,455
- Guy?
1163
01:03:02,455 --> 01:03:07,038
(ripping)
(squelching)
1164
01:03:12,110 --> 01:03:13,373
Oh fuck.
1165
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,344
I was just starting to like him.
1166
01:03:18,344 --> 01:03:21,230
(door opening)
1167
01:03:21,230 --> 01:03:25,221
(slow, dramatic music)
1168
01:03:25,221 --> 01:03:27,388
(gasping)
1169
01:03:29,087 --> 01:03:30,187
(neck cracking)
- Oh.
1170
01:03:31,180 --> 01:03:33,223
Wow, I feel so much better.
1171
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:37,210
- Lucy?
1172
01:03:37,210 --> 01:03:38,043
- Yeah?
1173
01:03:39,030 --> 01:03:39,863
- You okay?
1174
01:03:40,810 --> 01:03:42,230
- Yeah.
1175
01:03:42,230 --> 01:03:45,431
Sorry, the Spunk stuff made
me trip out or something.
1176
01:03:45,431 --> 01:03:47,031
Did I do something embarrassing?
1177
01:03:48,890 --> 01:03:50,540
Why are you guys acting so weird?
1178
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,113
What the fuck happened?
1179
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:57,493
- You kind of,
1180
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:00,423
you kinda ate him.
1181
01:04:04,290 --> 01:04:05,243
- Oh shit.
1182
01:04:06,180 --> 01:04:07,120
I heard this could happen.
1183
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,100
- Excuse me?
1184
01:04:08,100 --> 01:04:10,012
- Well that's why they call it Xombie.
1185
01:04:10,012 --> 01:04:12,400
One in 10 people can turn into a zombie.
1186
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,233
- But there's only five of us.
1187
01:04:17,070 --> 01:04:18,060
- Lucy, don't.
1188
01:04:18,060 --> 01:04:18,893
- What am I gonna do?
1189
01:04:18,893 --> 01:04:19,890
I can't call the police.
1190
01:04:19,890 --> 01:04:20,723
- I can.
1191
01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:22,670
What?
1192
01:04:22,670 --> 01:04:24,200
It's my house.
1193
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:26,740
My mom is going to kill me.
1194
01:04:26,740 --> 01:04:28,443
- [Kathy] You are 25 years old.
1195
01:04:30,230 --> 01:04:31,180
(gasping)
1196
01:04:31,180 --> 01:04:32,080
- Hey.
1197
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:32,960
Maybe he's okay.
1198
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:34,413
I won't have to go to jail.
1199
01:04:36,371 --> 01:04:37,204
(screaming)
1200
01:04:37,204 --> 01:04:38,037
- Lucy!
1201
01:04:38,037 --> 01:04:38,870
No!
1202
01:04:38,870 --> 01:04:40,213
Abby!
1203
01:04:40,213 --> 01:04:42,963
(dramatic music)
1204
01:04:49,170 --> 01:04:50,003
- Shit.
1205
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:57,479
(growling)
1206
01:04:57,479 --> 01:04:58,351
Ugh.
1207
01:04:58,351 --> 01:04:59,184
Seriously?
1208
01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:04,380
- Baby?
1209
01:05:04,380 --> 01:05:05,825
Are you okay?
1210
01:05:05,825 --> 01:05:08,075
(growling)
1211
01:05:10,576 --> 01:05:15,076
(grunting)
(growling)
1212
01:05:16,020 --> 01:05:17,052
- Somebody!
1213
01:05:17,052 --> 01:05:18,230
Anybody, come on!
1214
01:05:18,230 --> 01:05:19,252
- Do we have to?
1215
01:05:19,252 --> 01:05:20,210
- Abby!
1216
01:05:20,210 --> 01:05:21,540
- Maybe we can fix him.
1217
01:05:21,540 --> 01:05:22,678
He's still a person.
1218
01:05:22,678 --> 01:05:24,094
- Oh my god, morality later.
1219
01:05:24,094 --> 01:05:25,467
Stabby stab now.
1220
01:05:25,467 --> 01:05:26,860
- I'm just saying.
1221
01:05:26,860 --> 01:05:28,693
- Be a fucking super hero.
1222
01:05:33,730 --> 01:05:35,370
- I just wanna heal people.
1223
01:05:35,370 --> 01:05:36,533
- Oh Jesus Christ.
1224
01:05:37,470 --> 01:05:38,430
Hey Guy.
1225
01:05:38,430 --> 01:05:39,356
Open wide.
1226
01:05:39,356 --> 01:05:40,419
(squelching)
1227
01:05:40,419 --> 01:05:42,669
(grunting)
1228
01:05:48,140 --> 01:05:51,057
(slow piano music)
1229
01:05:56,081 --> 01:05:58,998
(lighter igniting)
1230
01:06:00,740 --> 01:06:01,583
Strength.
1231
01:06:04,090 --> 01:06:05,360
- What?
1232
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,060
- I think I'd pick super strength.
1233
01:06:09,116 --> 01:06:10,513
- That's a good one.
1234
01:06:11,508 --> 01:06:14,425
(slow piano music)
1235
01:06:15,340 --> 01:06:19,240
- I'm sorry about that.
1236
01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:20,073
- It's okay.
1237
01:06:22,061 --> 01:06:23,960
I think he was actually a drug dealer.
1238
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:25,530
- He was totally a drug dealer.
1239
01:06:25,530 --> 01:06:27,370
- Yeah, I buy all my drugs from him.
1240
01:06:27,370 --> 01:06:28,203
- Yeah.
1241
01:06:29,277 --> 01:06:30,110
(sighing)
1242
01:06:30,110 --> 01:06:32,743
- I'm sorry for always
seeing the good in people.
1243
01:06:34,411 --> 01:06:37,620
(soft piano music)
1244
01:06:37,620 --> 01:06:38,770
- Hey Kathy?
1245
01:06:38,770 --> 01:06:39,603
- [Kathy] Yeah?
1246
01:06:40,820 --> 01:06:42,150
- Did you say "open wide?"
1247
01:06:42,150 --> 01:06:44,930
- Yeah, you know, it
felt right in the moment.
1248
01:06:44,930 --> 01:06:46,640
- It's just usually when
someone says open wide,
1249
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:48,170
it's more of a mouth thing, like, ah.
1250
01:06:48,170 --> 01:06:49,003
- Yeah.
1251
01:06:49,003 --> 01:06:49,908
Yeah.
1252
01:06:49,908 --> 01:06:50,741
I felt like I had a better chance of
1253
01:06:50,741 --> 01:06:52,548
hitting the brain through the eye.
1254
01:06:52,548 --> 01:06:54,798
(growling)
1255
01:06:57,089 --> 01:06:59,380
(thumping)
1256
01:06:59,380 --> 01:07:00,213
- What is that?
1257
01:07:00,213 --> 01:07:01,140
- Shit.
1258
01:07:01,140 --> 01:07:02,862
- You ready for this?
1259
01:07:02,862 --> 01:07:04,450
- Do I really have a choice?
1260
01:07:04,450 --> 01:07:05,663
- I'm still high.
1261
01:07:06,840 --> 01:07:08,033
Is that Lucy?
1262
01:07:09,620 --> 01:07:11,110
I thought she was dead.
1263
01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:12,000
- She is dead.
1264
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,113
- Try to keep up, Abs.
1265
01:07:17,530 --> 01:07:19,093
Abby, I need you to open the door.
1266
01:07:20,520 --> 01:07:21,780
- Hold on.
1267
01:07:21,780 --> 01:07:22,740
I have to...
1268
01:07:24,910 --> 01:07:27,160
(grunting)
1269
01:07:30,636 --> 01:07:33,563
(exhaling)
1270
01:07:33,563 --> 01:07:36,813
(slow, dramatic music)
1271
01:07:40,731 --> 01:07:41,564
Oh.
1272
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:43,993
- Ready?
1273
01:07:44,970 --> 01:07:45,803
- [Becky] Set.
1274
01:07:48,181 --> 01:07:49,014
(growling)
1275
01:07:49,014 --> 01:07:51,181
(yelling)
1276
01:07:54,580 --> 01:07:57,913
(soft orchestral music)
1277
01:08:04,290 --> 01:08:05,410
- Now some of you at home,
1278
01:08:05,410 --> 01:08:06,710
I know you are skeptics.
1279
01:08:06,710 --> 01:08:09,000
That you think this is a passing thing,
1280
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:11,710
that it's just going to go away.
1281
01:08:11,710 --> 01:08:12,583
Well it isn't.
1282
01:08:13,530 --> 01:08:15,230
Don't you understand?
1283
01:08:15,230 --> 01:08:17,990
They want us to be so
busy fighting each other
1284
01:08:17,990 --> 01:08:19,940
that we won't even notice
when they take over
1285
01:08:19,940 --> 01:08:21,590
the whole goddamn fucking planet!
1286
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:31,750
If you think this symbol
of America is enough,
1287
01:08:31,750 --> 01:08:32,783
you're wrong.
1288
01:08:33,639 --> 01:08:34,980
(grunting)
1289
01:08:34,980 --> 01:08:36,560
(clattering)
1290
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:38,910
If you think you can hide, you're wrong.
1291
01:08:38,910 --> 01:08:41,920
If you think you can run far
enough away, you're wrong.
1292
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:43,885
They are demons from outer
space, and they are going
1293
01:08:43,885 --> 01:08:45,493
to kill everyone.
1294
01:08:49,710 --> 01:08:51,830
We know that video games are basically
1295
01:08:51,830 --> 01:08:53,780
programming us.
1296
01:08:53,780 --> 01:08:57,030
Why do you think they call
it computer programming?
1297
01:08:57,030 --> 01:08:59,330
Murder simulators that
are turning our children
1298
01:08:59,330 --> 01:09:01,130
into raving lunatics.
1299
01:09:01,130 --> 01:09:04,853
This toy for kids is to
train them for the army.
1300
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:08,253
That's step one.
1301
01:09:09,350 --> 01:09:11,020
Step two,
1302
01:09:11,020 --> 01:09:13,113
add Spunk.
1303
01:09:13,113 --> 01:09:15,196
(static)
1304
01:09:17,139 --> 01:09:20,056
(video game music)
1305
01:09:29,659 --> 01:09:32,576
(video game music)
1306
01:09:41,685 --> 01:09:44,602
(video game music)
1307
01:09:47,862 --> 01:09:50,029
(gunfire)
1308
01:09:52,088 --> 01:09:54,189
- [Lara] Marcus, can we
talk to you for a second?
1309
01:09:54,189 --> 01:09:55,022
- Hold on.
1310
01:09:56,006 --> 01:09:58,923
(video game music)
1311
01:10:02,691 --> 01:10:05,231
(birds chirping)
1312
01:10:05,231 --> 01:10:06,064
What's up?
1313
01:10:20,380 --> 01:10:21,880
- I know what's been going on.
1314
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:25,050
- Nothing's been going on.
1315
01:10:26,076 --> 01:10:26,909
I just,
1316
01:10:26,909 --> 01:10:29,660
you know, I've been practicing.
1317
01:10:29,660 --> 01:10:33,310
For the big Speed Run livestream.
1318
01:10:33,310 --> 01:10:34,859
I'm just really focused right now.
1319
01:10:34,859 --> 01:10:37,220
- It's not about the video games, Marcus.
1320
01:10:37,220 --> 01:10:38,360
We know that's always been your thing.
1321
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:40,170
And you're really good at them.
1322
01:10:40,170 --> 01:10:43,530
And I'm not one to judge
with the D&D Saturdays
1323
01:10:43,530 --> 01:10:44,970
every week.
1324
01:10:44,970 --> 01:10:46,650
- We know you're using Spunk.
1325
01:10:46,650 --> 01:10:47,730
- Bill.
1326
01:10:47,730 --> 01:10:49,540
Not around Lance.
1327
01:10:49,540 --> 01:10:51,890
- I'm sorry, well what
am I supposed to say?
1328
01:10:51,890 --> 01:10:53,860
That he's taking BS-128?
1329
01:10:53,860 --> 01:10:54,944
White Claudia?
1330
01:10:54,944 --> 01:10:55,777
Chud?
1331
01:10:56,900 --> 01:10:59,573
This drug is tearing you apart.
1332
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:02,100
- Bill means well.
1333
01:11:02,100 --> 01:11:03,350
We all do.
1334
01:11:03,350 --> 01:11:04,610
- It's not a big deal.
1335
01:11:04,610 --> 01:11:05,626
I mean,
1336
01:11:05,626 --> 01:11:06,459
I mean,
1337
01:11:06,459 --> 01:11:07,610
it's just, I...
- Hey.
1338
01:11:07,610 --> 01:11:09,150
Hey, look.
1339
01:11:09,150 --> 01:11:10,700
When's the last time you slept?
1340
01:11:11,610 --> 01:11:13,090
- Three days ago.
1341
01:11:13,090 --> 01:11:14,290
- When did you last eat?
1342
01:11:15,420 --> 01:11:16,560
- Yesterday?
1343
01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:17,990
I think.
1344
01:11:17,990 --> 01:11:18,877
It's Friday, right?
1345
01:11:18,877 --> 01:11:19,710
The 10th?
1346
01:11:20,680 --> 01:11:22,493
- It's Tuesday, the 14th.
1347
01:11:23,609 --> 01:11:25,059
- Look at your hands, Marcus.
1348
01:11:26,576 --> 01:11:29,326
(birds chirping)
1349
01:11:33,317 --> 01:11:35,900
(Bill sighing)
1350
01:11:37,460 --> 01:11:38,777
- It's time to unplug.
1351
01:11:40,119 --> 01:11:42,663
The real world is here.
1352
01:11:42,663 --> 01:11:44,736
And it misses you.
1353
01:11:44,736 --> 01:11:46,486
And we miss you, man.
1354
01:11:47,807 --> 01:11:49,974
- We miss you, Uncle Mark.
1355
01:11:52,027 --> 01:11:53,944
- I miss you guys, too.
1356
01:11:54,906 --> 01:11:56,489
I miss you so much.
1357
01:11:57,859 --> 01:12:00,859
- Okay, so then what are you saying?
1358
01:12:01,767 --> 01:12:02,684
- I'm done.
1359
01:12:03,968 --> 01:12:05,718
I'm done using Spunk.
1360
01:12:06,570 --> 01:12:07,403
- Come here.
1361
01:12:11,325 --> 01:12:12,325
You promise?
1362
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,033
(cars passing by)
1363
01:12:26,130 --> 01:12:28,749
- [Bill] You sure you wanna detox at home?
1364
01:12:28,749 --> 01:12:29,790
- Yeah.
1365
01:12:29,790 --> 01:12:30,640
It's better here.
1366
01:12:31,860 --> 01:12:32,810
The games, they'll,
1367
01:12:34,061 --> 01:12:35,820
they'll help me get through it.
1368
01:12:35,820 --> 01:12:37,230
It's better to have something to focus on
1369
01:12:37,230 --> 01:12:38,680
rather than the crash, right?
1370
01:12:39,830 --> 01:12:41,860
- Have you dumped your stash yet?
1371
01:12:41,860 --> 01:12:42,693
- No, that's--
1372
01:12:42,693 --> 01:12:44,884
(static booming)
1373
01:12:44,884 --> 01:12:45,984
Did you just see that?
1374
01:12:47,348 --> 01:12:48,181
- No.
1375
01:12:48,181 --> 01:12:49,683
Is something there?
1376
01:12:52,830 --> 01:12:54,073
- Just my imagination.
1377
01:12:56,060 --> 01:12:57,089
- Right.
1378
01:12:57,089 --> 01:12:59,256
(pinging)
1379
01:13:01,860 --> 01:13:02,693
- Alright.
1380
01:13:08,752 --> 01:13:10,060
(sighing)
1381
01:13:10,060 --> 01:13:11,520
- Seriously?
1382
01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:12,353
Condoms?
1383
01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:15,260
- That's how Boon likes to deliver it.
1384
01:13:17,010 --> 01:13:17,843
- Alright man.
1385
01:13:18,990 --> 01:13:19,823
I'm here, buddy.
1386
01:13:21,202 --> 01:13:23,320
(deeply inhaling)
1387
01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:24,153
- Yeah.
1388
01:13:28,297 --> 01:13:30,547
(flushing)
1389
01:13:33,780 --> 01:13:34,613
It's done.
1390
01:13:37,060 --> 01:13:38,330
- Well look at that.
1391
01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:39,512
The winner is you.
1392
01:13:39,512 --> 01:13:41,677
(pinging)
1393
01:13:41,677 --> 01:13:43,977
Guess now is the hard part, right?
1394
01:13:47,904 --> 01:13:52,385
(slow, dramatic orchestral music)
1395
01:13:52,385 --> 01:13:55,135
(kettle blaring)
1396
01:13:58,287 --> 01:14:02,722
(slow, dramatic orchestral music)
1397
01:14:02,722 --> 01:14:04,972
(dripping)
1398
01:14:06,793 --> 01:14:09,745
(slow, dramatic orchestral music)
1399
01:14:09,745 --> 01:14:13,944
(barfing)
(coughing)
1400
01:14:13,944 --> 01:14:16,527
(rain falling)
1401
01:14:18,585 --> 01:14:22,752
(slow, dramatic orchestral music)
1402
01:14:23,696 --> 01:14:25,030
- I don't think I can do this, Lara.
1403
01:14:25,030 --> 01:14:27,200
- Hey, Mark, listen to me.
1404
01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:28,730
You are doing this, okay?
1405
01:14:28,730 --> 01:14:30,116
You're doing it right now.
1406
01:14:30,116 --> 01:14:31,210
It's,
1407
01:14:31,210 --> 01:14:32,660
okay, right now, it sucks.
1408
01:14:32,660 --> 01:14:33,613
It's really hard, and I get that,
1409
01:14:33,613 --> 01:14:35,640
but you've just gotta get
through this part, okay?
1410
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:38,330
'Cause once you get past
it, everything is about
1411
01:14:38,330 --> 01:14:40,117
to get so much better for you.
1412
01:14:40,970 --> 01:14:42,530
You know you're like my favorite person
1413
01:14:42,530 --> 01:14:43,550
in the world, right?
1414
01:14:43,550 --> 01:14:45,920
You are so smart and so funny,
1415
01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:47,610
and you care so much about other people.
1416
01:14:47,610 --> 01:14:49,060
I just,
1417
01:14:49,060 --> 01:14:50,290
it killed me seeing what this Spunk
1418
01:14:50,290 --> 01:14:52,323
has done to you man, because,
1419
01:14:52,323 --> 01:14:54,560
because I miss my friend,
and I'm so excited
1420
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:55,610
to get him back, okay?
1421
01:14:55,610 --> 01:14:57,203
You've got this.
1422
01:14:58,265 --> 01:14:59,554
- Thanks.
1423
01:14:59,554 --> 01:15:01,204
That means a lot coming from you.
1424
01:15:02,241 --> 01:15:03,863
- That's what friends are for, right?
1425
01:15:07,230 --> 01:15:08,540
- Yeah.
1426
01:15:08,540 --> 01:15:09,560
Best friends.
1427
01:15:12,224 --> 01:15:15,560
(slow, dramatic orchestral music)
1428
01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:18,477
(video game music)
1429
01:15:21,527 --> 01:15:24,444
(video game music)
1430
01:15:29,650 --> 01:15:34,650
(rain falling)
(sirens blaring)
1431
01:15:42,482 --> 01:15:46,649
(slow, dramatic video game music)
1432
01:15:52,315 --> 01:15:54,565
(knocking)
1433
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:01,810
(groaning)
1434
01:16:04,538 --> 01:16:06,788
(knocking)
1435
01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:12,840
- Shit, man.
1436
01:16:12,840 --> 01:16:13,960
You look awful.
1437
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,970
- Go away, Boon, please.
1438
01:16:15,970 --> 01:16:17,210
I feel asleep.
1439
01:16:17,210 --> 01:16:18,513
- Hey don't be like that.
1440
01:16:18,513 --> 01:16:20,764
I got that new stuff for ya.
1441
01:16:20,764 --> 01:16:23,550
The one you were asking about last month.
1442
01:16:23,550 --> 01:16:24,650
- Not interested.
1443
01:16:24,650 --> 01:16:25,483
I quit.
1444
01:16:25,483 --> 01:16:27,410
- Yeah, bullshit you quit.
1445
01:16:27,410 --> 01:16:28,380
Don't be a cunt, trust fund.
1446
01:16:28,380 --> 01:16:29,213
Let us in.
1447
01:16:29,213 --> 01:16:30,130
- I'm not--
- Hey.
1448
01:16:30,130 --> 01:16:32,630
You bugged me for weeks
for something bigger.
1449
01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:33,730
Better.
1450
01:16:33,730 --> 01:16:34,593
I've got it.
1451
01:16:36,500 --> 01:16:37,650
Now let me the fuck in.
1452
01:16:39,985 --> 01:16:41,230
(clicking)
(dramatic music)
1453
01:16:41,230 --> 01:16:43,410
You've got it lucky, you know.
1454
01:16:43,410 --> 01:16:44,950
Trust fund kid.
1455
01:16:44,950 --> 01:16:46,910
Got to quit your job.
1456
01:16:46,910 --> 01:16:48,670
Play video games all day.
1457
01:16:48,670 --> 01:16:50,234
Look at you.
1458
01:16:50,234 --> 01:16:52,887
You got your own house and everything.
1459
01:16:52,887 --> 01:16:54,003
Got the life, huh?
1460
01:16:55,130 --> 01:16:55,963
But me?
1461
01:16:57,020 --> 01:16:59,220
I'm busting my ass trying to stay alive.
1462
01:16:59,220 --> 01:17:01,090
And it's up to people like you,
1463
01:17:01,090 --> 01:17:03,093
paying customers, to keep me alive.
1464
01:17:03,971 --> 01:17:05,720
Come on man.
1465
01:17:05,720 --> 01:17:06,553
Help me out.
1466
01:17:08,630 --> 01:17:09,463
Now,
1467
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:12,543
I've got this good shit.
1468
01:17:14,930 --> 01:17:16,690
Best Spunk you've ever tasted.
1469
01:17:16,690 --> 01:17:17,993
That's crazy good stuff.
1470
01:17:20,246 --> 01:17:23,470
You told me about
overclocking my PC, but this?
1471
01:17:23,470 --> 01:17:24,770
Will overclock your brain.
1472
01:17:26,010 --> 01:17:29,152
(slow, dramatic music)
1473
01:17:29,152 --> 01:17:30,800
(snapping)
1474
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:34,050
(slow, dramatic music)
1475
01:17:37,286 --> 01:17:38,119
- No.
1476
01:17:38,119 --> 01:17:38,952
No!
1477
01:17:38,952 --> 01:17:39,785
No, please!
1478
01:17:39,785 --> 01:17:40,618
Don't!
1479
01:17:40,618 --> 01:17:41,451
Stop!
1480
01:17:41,451 --> 01:17:43,001
Please, don't.
1481
01:17:43,001 --> 01:17:46,951
(slow, dramatic music)
1482
01:17:46,951 --> 01:17:47,993
Please.
1483
01:17:47,993 --> 01:17:49,128
Please.
1484
01:17:49,128 --> 01:17:52,378
(slow, dramatic music)
1485
01:17:55,208 --> 01:17:57,875
(heart beating)
1486
01:18:07,470 --> 01:18:09,000
- Fuck.
1487
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:09,833
What now?
1488
01:18:10,694 --> 01:18:12,180
- You know what?
1489
01:18:12,180 --> 01:18:13,030
Too much trouble.
1490
01:18:15,240 --> 01:18:17,110
Let's take what we can get and book it.
1491
01:18:17,110 --> 01:18:17,943
- Sweet.
1492
01:18:17,943 --> 01:18:20,093
I get dibs on that
original Legend of Zelda.
1493
01:18:21,100 --> 01:18:22,200
- [Boon] Fucking nerd.
1494
01:18:25,979 --> 01:18:28,229
(rustling)
1495
01:18:29,704 --> 01:18:31,639
(static)
1496
01:18:31,639 --> 01:18:34,824
(video game music)
1497
01:18:34,824 --> 01:18:38,074
(slow, dramatic music)
1498
01:18:49,415 --> 01:18:52,415
(knuckles cracking)
1499
01:18:54,158 --> 01:18:57,825
(dramatic video game music)
1500
01:19:01,190 --> 01:19:02,693
- Shit, he's up.
1501
01:19:03,640 --> 01:19:04,473
- Finish him.
1502
01:19:07,277 --> 01:19:10,027
(dramatic music)
1503
01:19:10,882 --> 01:19:13,251
(rock music)
1504
01:19:13,251 --> 01:19:15,501
(grunting)
1505
01:19:17,533 --> 01:19:18,616
Motherfucker!
1506
01:19:19,949 --> 01:19:23,282
(electronic rock music)
1507
01:19:24,290 --> 01:19:26,688
(gunshots)
1508
01:19:26,688 --> 01:19:28,226
(squelching)
(grunting)
1509
01:19:28,226 --> 01:19:30,893
(heart beating)
1510
01:19:32,665 --> 01:19:35,082
(squelching)
1511
01:19:37,490 --> 01:19:38,743
- [Narrator] Marcus wins.
1512
01:19:39,740 --> 01:19:41,263
Perfect victory.
1513
01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:43,073
Killer instinct.
1514
01:19:46,912 --> 01:19:50,162
(slow, dramatic music)
1515
01:20:24,321 --> 01:20:27,071
(dramatic music)
1516
01:20:31,801 --> 01:20:33,301
- It's all a game.
1517
01:20:35,153 --> 01:20:37,263
It's all a fucking game.
1518
01:20:38,280 --> 01:20:41,780
(upbeat video game music)
1519
01:20:44,350 --> 01:20:45,900
Hey, what's up?
1520
01:20:45,900 --> 01:20:47,420
- [Lara] Help me.
1521
01:20:47,420 --> 01:20:49,673
Marcus, we're under attack.
1522
01:20:49,673 --> 01:20:51,200
Please, hurry.
1523
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:52,497
- I'm on my way.
1524
01:20:53,571 --> 01:20:57,238
(dramatic video game music)
1525
01:21:09,571 --> 01:21:11,738
(pinging)
1526
01:21:13,982 --> 01:21:17,649
(dramatic video game music)
1527
01:21:25,004 --> 01:21:27,087
(static)
1528
01:21:30,149 --> 01:21:33,816
(dramatic video game music)
1529
01:21:45,214 --> 01:21:47,964
(dramatic music)
1530
01:21:49,724 --> 01:21:53,391
(dramatic video game music)
1531
01:21:57,343 --> 01:22:01,353
- This is where your
quest ends, Poopy Boy.
1532
01:22:02,660 --> 01:22:04,224
- Let's dance.
1533
01:22:04,224 --> 01:22:06,167
(gunshots)
1534
01:22:06,167 --> 01:22:07,759
(gunshot)
1535
01:22:07,759 --> 01:22:09,926
(hitting)
1536
01:22:10,894 --> 01:22:12,276
(yelling)
1537
01:22:12,276 --> 01:22:15,943
(dramatic video game music)
1538
01:22:20,804 --> 01:22:25,221
(hitting)
(grunting)
1539
01:22:26,740 --> 01:22:28,560
Why'd you do it, Simon?
1540
01:22:28,560 --> 01:22:30,000
Why'd you turn evil?
1541
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:30,930
You were sensible.
1542
01:22:30,930 --> 01:22:33,766
- There's a secret to everybody.
1543
01:22:33,766 --> 01:22:34,599
(grunting)
1544
01:22:34,599 --> 01:22:36,316
(hitting)
(grunting)
1545
01:22:36,316 --> 01:22:38,483
(buzzing)
1546
01:22:40,061 --> 01:22:41,948
(yelling)
1547
01:22:41,948 --> 01:22:44,166
(exploding)
1548
01:22:44,166 --> 01:22:48,267
(dramatic video game music)
1549
01:22:48,267 --> 01:22:50,891
(gunshots)
1550
01:22:50,891 --> 01:22:54,558
(dramatic video game music)
1551
01:22:56,210 --> 01:22:58,783
(gunshot)
1552
01:22:58,783 --> 01:23:01,168
(dramatic music)
1553
01:23:01,168 --> 01:23:03,418
(laughing)
1554
01:23:05,870 --> 01:23:08,037
(buzzing)
1555
01:23:10,915 --> 01:23:13,528
(laughing)
1556
01:23:13,528 --> 01:23:16,278
(dramatic music)
1557
01:23:17,615 --> 01:23:18,995
(snapping)
(buzzing)
1558
01:23:18,995 --> 01:23:21,498
(pinging)
1559
01:23:21,498 --> 01:23:23,665
(buzzing)
1560
01:23:26,277 --> 01:23:28,811
(gunshots)
1561
01:23:28,811 --> 01:23:30,753
(gunshots)
1562
01:23:30,753 --> 01:23:32,160
(pinging)
1563
01:23:32,160 --> 01:23:33,711
(laughing)
1564
01:23:33,711 --> 01:23:34,727
- Jackpot!
1565
01:23:34,727 --> 01:23:36,334
(buzzing)
1566
01:23:36,334 --> 01:23:37,293
(snapping)
1567
01:23:37,293 --> 01:23:39,543
(gunshots)
1568
01:23:41,884 --> 01:23:44,051
(gunshot)
1569
01:23:46,104 --> 01:23:48,594
(gunshots)
1570
01:23:48,594 --> 01:23:52,261
(dramatic video game music)
1571
01:23:54,206 --> 01:23:55,039
(buzzing)
1572
01:23:55,039 --> 01:23:57,206
(pinging)
1573
01:24:00,795 --> 01:24:02,962
(gunshot)
1574
01:24:06,811 --> 01:24:08,978
(booming)
1575
01:24:12,801 --> 01:24:15,301
(gun cocking)
1576
01:24:16,833 --> 01:24:19,831
(gunfire)
1577
01:24:19,831 --> 01:24:21,883
- Get the heck out of here, you nerd!
1578
01:24:23,266 --> 01:24:28,266
(gunshots)
(dramatic action music)
1579
01:24:29,015 --> 01:24:33,890
(gunshots)
(dramatic action music)
1580
01:24:33,890 --> 01:24:36,057
(gunfire)
1581
01:24:37,110 --> 01:24:38,120
Marcus.
1582
01:24:38,120 --> 01:24:38,953
Pause.
1583
01:24:41,815 --> 01:24:43,982
(pinging)
1584
01:24:45,025 --> 01:24:47,692
(phone ringing)
1585
01:24:48,780 --> 01:24:49,613
Hey, mom.
1586
01:24:50,620 --> 01:24:51,453
Hey.
1587
01:24:52,508 --> 01:24:53,341
Aunt Patty?
1588
01:24:56,160 --> 01:24:57,073
She has cancer?
1589
01:24:57,915 --> 01:24:59,240
Oh, my god.
1590
01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:01,264
Hey listen, I'm kind of
in a battle right now.
1591
01:25:01,264 --> 01:25:02,860
Can I call you back?
1592
01:25:02,860 --> 01:25:04,973
I will call you back right
afterwards, I promise.
1593
01:25:07,191 --> 01:25:09,440
(soft music)
1594
01:25:09,440 --> 01:25:10,872
Okay.
1595
01:25:10,872 --> 01:25:13,825
(dramatic action music)
1596
01:25:13,825 --> 01:25:16,682
You didn't pull the pin, you noob!
1597
01:25:16,682 --> 01:25:17,515
(gunshot)
1598
01:25:17,515 --> 01:25:19,682
(yelling)
1599
01:25:22,189 --> 01:25:25,022
(heavy breathing)
1600
01:25:27,020 --> 01:25:28,940
I'll see you in hell.
1601
01:25:28,940 --> 01:25:29,890
(gun cocking)
1602
01:25:29,890 --> 01:25:32,251
- Tell Satan he's next.
1603
01:25:32,251 --> 01:25:34,418
(gunshot)
1604
01:25:37,633 --> 01:25:39,133
Heavy machine gun.
1605
01:25:40,006 --> 01:25:42,923
(video game music)
1606
01:25:47,658 --> 01:25:49,741
(static)
1607
01:25:52,777 --> 01:25:56,444
(dramatic video game music)
1608
01:26:01,097 --> 01:26:04,420
Here comes a new challenger,
you alien bastards.
1609
01:26:04,420 --> 01:26:06,263
Come get some.
1610
01:26:06,263 --> 01:26:09,013
(dramatic music)
1611
01:26:18,894 --> 01:26:20,453
(creature vocalizing)
1612
01:26:20,453 --> 01:26:23,053
(dramatic music)
1613
01:26:23,053 --> 01:26:24,261
What the hell?
1614
01:26:24,261 --> 01:26:26,269
(creature vocalizing)
1615
01:26:26,269 --> 01:26:27,941
(screeching)
1616
01:26:27,941 --> 01:26:30,691
(dramatic music)
1617
01:26:47,143 --> 01:26:50,393
(slow, dramatic music)
1618
01:26:58,622 --> 01:27:00,215
- Hello, Marcus.
1619
01:27:00,215 --> 01:27:03,155
(slow, dramatic music)
1620
01:27:03,155 --> 01:27:04,405
Is that for me?
1621
01:27:06,560 --> 01:27:07,393
Come now.
1622
01:27:08,840 --> 01:27:10,840
Surely you wouldn't kill your own child.
1623
01:27:14,830 --> 01:27:16,603
- What about Nate, you--
- Shh.
1624
01:27:18,043 --> 01:27:19,323
Nate was a mistake.
1625
01:27:21,890 --> 01:27:23,717
I thought he could give me what I needed.
1626
01:27:24,850 --> 01:27:25,813
But I was wrong.
1627
01:27:28,777 --> 01:27:30,093
Nate's a child.
1628
01:27:31,490 --> 01:27:32,972
Weak.
1629
01:27:32,972 --> 01:27:35,722
(dramatic music)
1630
01:27:37,040 --> 01:27:39,130
He was never going to be the one.
1631
01:27:40,350 --> 01:27:43,343
(dramatic music)
1632
01:27:43,343 --> 01:27:46,170
It was always you, Marcus.
1633
01:27:46,170 --> 01:27:48,689
(dramatic music)
1634
01:27:48,689 --> 01:27:51,457
I always wanted it to be you.
1635
01:27:51,457 --> 01:27:54,207
(dramatic music)
1636
01:27:58,279 --> 01:28:02,941
(shifting)
(dramatic music)
1637
01:28:02,941 --> 01:28:05,623
(shifting)
1638
01:28:05,623 --> 01:28:07,374
(tearing)
(splattering)
1639
01:28:07,374 --> 01:28:10,207
(creature crying)
1640
01:28:12,959 --> 01:28:14,647
(laughing)
1641
01:28:14,647 --> 01:28:16,397
Welcome to your doom.
1642
01:28:17,610 --> 01:28:19,119
(gunshot)
1643
01:28:19,119 --> 01:28:21,952
(creature crying)
1644
01:28:27,350 --> 01:28:29,600
(gunshots)
1645
01:28:32,229 --> 01:28:35,316
(slow, dramatic music)
1646
01:28:35,316 --> 01:28:38,566
(creatures vocalizing)
1647
01:28:39,895 --> 01:28:43,145
(slow, dramatic music)
1648
01:28:44,052 --> 01:28:46,276
(gunfire)
1649
01:28:46,276 --> 01:28:49,052
(gunfire)
1650
01:28:49,052 --> 01:28:51,219
(gunfire)
1651
01:28:52,559 --> 01:28:55,049
(gunfire)
1652
01:28:55,049 --> 01:28:57,266
(gunfire)
1653
01:28:57,266 --> 01:28:59,433
(gunfire)
1654
01:29:01,040 --> 01:29:03,207
(gunfire)
1655
01:29:05,376 --> 01:29:09,709
(yelling)
(gunfire)
1656
01:29:14,317 --> 01:29:17,285
(gun clicking)
1657
01:29:17,285 --> 01:29:20,535
(slow, dramatic music)
1658
01:29:23,153 --> 01:29:25,320
(gasping)
1659
01:29:26,868 --> 01:29:29,118
(grunting)
1660
01:29:31,537 --> 01:29:34,287
(dramatic music)
1661
01:29:41,225 --> 01:29:42,914
Marcus, stop, please.
1662
01:29:42,914 --> 01:29:43,761
Marcus.
1663
01:29:43,761 --> 01:29:45,393
Marcus, you don't have to do this.
1664
01:29:45,393 --> 01:29:46,281
You don't have to do this.
1665
01:29:46,281 --> 01:29:47,114
Stop, please.
1666
01:29:47,114 --> 01:29:49,687
Marcus, stop, please.
1667
01:29:49,687 --> 01:29:54,687
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
1668
01:29:58,485 --> 01:30:02,985
(sawing)
(squelching)
1669
01:30:05,436 --> 01:30:07,603
(choking)
1670
01:30:11,234 --> 01:30:13,651
(squelching)
1671
01:30:18,349 --> 01:30:21,599
(slow, dramatic music)
1672
01:30:32,926 --> 01:30:34,676
- [Narrator] You win.
1673
01:30:35,902 --> 01:30:37,152
New high score.
1674
01:30:38,486 --> 01:30:41,986
(upbeat video game music)
1675
01:30:46,144 --> 01:30:46,977
Game over.
1676
01:30:51,094 --> 01:30:54,388
(deeply exhaling)
1677
01:30:54,388 --> 01:30:55,221
- I win.
1678
01:31:02,405 --> 01:31:04,950
(laughing)
1679
01:31:04,950 --> 01:31:06,803
I got the high score, bitch.
1680
01:31:08,020 --> 01:31:09,685
High score.
1681
01:31:09,685 --> 01:31:12,224
(laughing)
1682
01:31:12,224 --> 01:31:14,807
(woman crying)
1683
01:31:16,415 --> 01:31:18,230
(slow, dramatic music)
1684
01:31:18,230 --> 01:31:21,610
- All day I've been
telling you about Spunk.
1685
01:31:21,610 --> 01:31:24,373
About how dangerous it is, but,
1686
01:31:25,550 --> 01:31:29,533
well, people are blinded by complacency.
1687
01:31:29,533 --> 01:31:30,470
They don't listen.
1688
01:31:30,470 --> 01:31:32,410
They won't act.
1689
01:31:32,410 --> 01:31:35,060
And that's why I do this show.
1690
01:31:35,060 --> 01:31:39,230
That's why I put my ass
on the line everyday.
1691
01:31:39,230 --> 01:31:40,900
I can't sleep.
1692
01:31:40,900 --> 01:31:43,230
I haven't eaten in two days.
1693
01:31:43,230 --> 01:31:46,710
And all because I see this
great country Spunking itself
1694
01:31:46,710 --> 01:31:48,610
into oblivion.
1695
01:31:48,610 --> 01:31:51,520
I have here, from some anonymous tipster
1696
01:31:51,520 --> 01:31:54,163
that I've been corresponding
with for the last year,
1697
01:31:56,918 --> 01:31:59,557
an honest to god Spunk sample.
1698
01:32:01,730 --> 01:32:03,727
And he says here,
1699
01:32:03,727 --> 01:32:07,677
"There are traces of
actual alien DNA in this,
1700
01:32:07,677 --> 01:32:11,213
"along with synthetic GMO pig fat,
1701
01:32:12,977 --> 01:32:15,737
"and unholy water that
was demonically possessed
1702
01:32:15,737 --> 01:32:18,733
"by the monks of Aleister
Crowley's Manson Clan."
1703
01:32:24,710 --> 01:32:26,510
And it came with these instructions.
1704
01:32:28,215 --> 01:32:31,465
(slow, dramatic music)
1705
01:32:34,598 --> 01:32:36,289
- [Man] John Oak.
1706
01:32:36,289 --> 01:32:38,300
Jonathan Nigel Oakwell.
1707
01:32:39,208 --> 01:32:41,910
This is the voice of the Xenuvians.
1708
01:32:42,906 --> 01:32:45,590
You are now under our control.
1709
01:32:45,590 --> 01:32:46,930
- Yes Master Xeuvian.
1710
01:32:48,096 --> 01:32:50,016
- [Man] At the sound of the bell,
1711
01:32:50,016 --> 01:32:52,798
you will be under my control.
1712
01:32:52,798 --> 01:32:55,263
(chiming)
1713
01:32:55,263 --> 01:32:57,862
You are not holding Spunk.
1714
01:32:57,862 --> 01:33:00,347
Spunk does not exist.
1715
01:33:00,347 --> 01:33:03,564
You have deluded yourself,
and your audience.
1716
01:33:03,564 --> 01:33:05,003
There is no connection between any
1717
01:33:05,003 --> 01:33:07,233
murders and Spunk.
1718
01:33:07,233 --> 01:33:10,472
What is in your hand is
your own seminal fluid.
1719
01:33:10,472 --> 01:33:13,851
You are going to open the condom.
1720
01:33:13,851 --> 01:33:15,819
You are going to ingest it,
1721
01:33:15,819 --> 01:33:18,652
and it will taste like your semen.
1722
01:33:22,495 --> 01:33:23,457
Yes.
1723
01:33:23,457 --> 01:33:24,290
That's good.
1724
01:33:24,290 --> 01:33:26,794
Swirl it in your mouth like that.
1725
01:33:26,794 --> 01:33:29,082
Daddy likes seeing you take it.
1726
01:33:29,082 --> 01:33:31,999
Now swallow like a good little boy.
1727
01:33:33,411 --> 01:33:35,457
I am going away now.
1728
01:33:35,457 --> 01:33:37,307
At the sound of the seventh bell,
1729
01:33:37,307 --> 01:33:40,720
you are going to tell
your audience these words:
1730
01:33:40,720 --> 01:33:42,910
Spunk is dead.
1731
01:33:42,910 --> 01:33:45,378
Spunk is dead.
1732
01:33:45,378 --> 01:33:46,974
It was all a lie.
1733
01:33:46,974 --> 01:33:49,131
It was all a lie.
1734
01:33:49,131 --> 01:33:52,099
Do you understand, John Oak?
1735
01:33:52,099 --> 01:33:53,795
- Yes, daddy.
1736
01:33:53,795 --> 01:33:56,492
- [Man] You have done
your part in this plan.
1737
01:33:56,492 --> 01:33:59,203
After you have made this
public announcement,
1738
01:33:59,203 --> 01:34:01,703
you will burn your house down.
1739
01:34:02,560 --> 01:34:03,643
- Yes, daddy.
1740
01:34:05,080 --> 01:34:07,247
(chiming)
1741
01:34:08,220 --> 01:34:10,387
(chiming)
1742
01:34:11,683 --> 01:34:13,850
(chiming)
1743
01:34:14,687 --> 01:34:16,854
(chiming)
1744
01:34:24,826 --> 01:34:27,659
(punk rock music)
1745
01:34:54,491 --> 01:34:57,851
- [Reverend Raymond] The Devil's Spunk.
1746
01:34:57,851 --> 01:35:00,351
(synth music)
1747
01:35:15,167 --> 01:35:17,466
(static)
1748
01:35:17,466 --> 01:35:20,403
(soft music)
1749
01:35:20,403 --> 01:35:22,388
- [Darry] Why did you bring me here?
1750
01:35:22,388 --> 01:35:25,471
- [Lexi] Honey, you brought yourself.
1751
01:35:29,737 --> 01:35:32,100
- [Bill] This here's
the point of no return.
1752
01:35:32,100 --> 01:35:34,600
From here on out, it's a
bullet train to oblivion.
1753
01:35:40,180 --> 01:35:42,330
- [Tom] We're trying to
provide good citizens with
1754
01:35:42,330 --> 01:35:43,403
a taste of oblivion.
1755
01:35:44,610 --> 01:35:45,583
The warm shroud.
1756
01:35:47,240 --> 01:35:49,900
That's how Mierda Fuerte's different.
1757
01:35:49,900 --> 01:35:52,720
It holds your hand as you cross over.
1758
01:35:54,430 --> 01:35:55,700
And once you cross that chasm,
1759
01:35:55,700 --> 01:35:57,300
you're one with everything else.
1760
01:35:58,420 --> 01:36:00,273
So soak in the sensations now.
1761
01:36:01,170 --> 01:36:03,973
You've only got one shot to die properly.
1762
01:36:06,395 --> 01:36:09,895
(strange, tinkling music)
1763
01:36:29,106 --> 01:36:31,939
(synth pop music)
1764
01:36:52,132 --> 01:36:55,632
(upbeat video game music)
1765
01:37:34,187 --> 01:37:36,739
(static)
1766
01:37:36,739 --> 01:37:39,489
(dramatic music)
1767
01:37:55,761 --> 01:37:59,428
(dramatic electronic music)
106712
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