Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

I think about you all the time.

The kind of life you might be leading.

I wonder what you're doing.

Right now, for example.

Sometimes I think about the day we'll meet

and what that will be like.

The moment we see each other

for the very first time.

I imagine it taking place here

on the seawall on a day like this.

And then I imagine us walking

to the light house and just talking.

About your life and the things that have happened here.

I'd really like to build up memories like that.

By the way, do you ever think about me?

Welcome everyone.

In a recent survey 98% of vets questioned

said they'd been asked to euthanize healthy pets.

And in nearly all those cases

bad behavior is the reason given.

Question, how do we deal with such ethical dilemmas?

And just to be clear, this isn't some

theoretical question about

a situation that you won't ever find yourself in.

What time is it?

I'm late.

My dad, he's gonna kill me.

Hello?

Hello.

Who is this?

Derry, do you want to say your last goodbye to Betty?

So we're gonna administer the injection now,

she won't be in anymore pain.

Okay, she'll experience a shortening of breath

and perhaps a dryness of the mouth,

but that's quiet normal Derry.

Just a sign that the drug is beginning to take effect.

Rose.

That's it Derry, it's all over.

You okay?

That was hard.

You'll have to toughen up.

I know.

When I volunteered in the summer,

I did a border collie, a poodle,

three or four cats, two rabbits, and a ferret.

Really?

Trust me, okay, you stop.

I'll get that.

Hello?

Is this Ellen Wise?

Yes.

Formerly Ellen Bern?

Love, I just need a minute.

Who is this?

My name is Rose.

Okay.

Does the name Julie mean anything to you?

Why?

It's the name on my birth certificate.

I know from my adoption files you requested no contact,

and I really shouldn't be calling like this,

but I didn't know what else to do.

Hello?

Hello, can you hear me?

I like the name, Julie.

When I think about Julie

I picture her like me but different.

Different clothes, different accent, different hair.

For some reason, I always imagined her

with short hair and I don't know why.

I can't help thinking that somehow,

if you had managed to hold onto me,

I'd be living a different life right now.

I'd be this other person.

Perhaps the person who I was really meant to be,

the real me.

Hey dad.

I'm sorry, I should have called,

it's just been really busy here.

How's Lottie?

That's good.

Yeah, I'm fine.

We're doing a module on euthanasia.

Yesterday we had to put down a dog.

Yeah, I think the next one is a horse.

Yeah, it is.

It's really tough.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Yeah, I'm sleeping fine.

Actually, I meant to call you.

I'm going to London on Thursday.

No, it's just for the day.

To a conference on epidemiology.

Yeah, it should be interesting.

I will.

Okay.

Love you to.

Hi, I was calling to see about one of your properties.

I was just wondering if I could arrange a viewing.

Yeah, I'll hold, no problem.

Yeah, the house on Windsor Avenue.

My name is Rosa O'Connor.

At anytime today would be ideal.

3:30 with Valerie.

hi, I'm here for the viewing.

I called Valerie earlier.

Yes, she's on the phone right now.

Oh, okay.

You could come in and wait if you'd like.

Yeah, sure.

This is a really nice house.

Is that you and your mom?

You look like her.

Think so?

Yeah.

Everyone says like my dad.

They're separated.

My name's Rose by the way.

Eva.

Eva, that's nice.

I have some revision to do so.

Okay, yeah, yeah don't worry about me.

Okay.

Actually, can I ask you something?

What age are you?

I'm 16.

I see.

Thanks.

Rose?

It's Valerie, hi.

And this is Ellen, the owner of the property.

Hi.

You've already met Ellen's daughter, Eva.

Yeah, I have.

Shall we make a start?

That's okay with you Ellen?

Yes, yup, that's fine.

I was about to suggest that we start upstairs.

Yeah, great.

This was the original show house when

they built the development.

Ellen has made a few changes

but she's kept a lot of the features.

The fireplace in the hallway,

which I'm sure you noted, and the wallpaper.

Are you really looking to buy the house?

Why do you ask?

Well it's just, you look a little young

and I, I really don't wanna waste anyone's time here.

The thing is you're right.

I'm looking on behalf of.

What?

A client.

So how many square feet is the property?

3,000.

Can we see Eva's room now?

Valerie.

I was just about to point out the ample storage space.

Could I have a word?

Sure.

Outside, please.

I don't want an argument.

Neither do it.

Good, that's good.

You need to leave now.

What if I say no?

You just said you didn't want an argument.

I just don't, I don't want to cause any trouble.

I just want to talk, that's all.

Mum.

My flight leaves at nine.

Then I'll be gone.

When I need to be on my own, getaway from things,

this where I come.

Do you like walking?

Not particularly.

Well it's good for you.

It's good for stress.

Calms you down.

That's the theory at least.

I should take it up then.

Can I ask you something?

Okay.

Eva, did you say anything to her?

No.

Cause she knows nothing about you.

Nobody does.

Listen.

That's a nightingale.

I was raped.

So, that's it.

How did it happen?

Or can you tell me?

I was in my early thirties.

Things weren't so great for me.

To take my mind off things

I volunteered for an archeological dig.

I thought it'd be interesting.

And the site was out

by the coast and it backed onto this golf course.

And it was summer and he was.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I can't, I can't.

I need to know who he is, his name.

Why?

Because I think I have a right to know.

And if I tell you his name what will you do?

Nothing.

I just want the name, that's all.

After all this time.

I can't say the name.

Can you write it?

I've always imagined different scenarios

as to why I might've been adopted.

One was of two young people, teenagers who were in love,

expecting their first child,

but they'd realized they'd made a mistake and panicked.

A part of me has always held onto the idea that

whatever the reason, at least I was wanted.

I wasn't the problem, it wasn't my fault.

It wasn't because of what I was.

Some operation, which is what I have.

So from the initial report,

we know that she died from an infectious disease

specific to ruminants, which in turn

she passed on to her offspring.

Our job, your job is to ascertain

the nature of that disease.

So as you examine each organ

I want you to feed back on your observations.

Size, color, swellings, unusual lesions.

Yeah, okay.

Jump in, don't be shy.

Fuck you.

I can't say the name.

Can you write it?

Hi, I'm calling about the book launch this evening.

Yeah, could you tell me where

exactly it's taking place please?

Okay, okay great.

And do I need a ticket or?

Okay, thank you.

Interesting?

It's about a nun who has psychic powers.

Seriously?

It's not bad actually.

I called your dad

and I told him you'd be over later.

How long will you be in Dublin?

Not long.

It's a small part.

Sweet pea, that girl Rose who came to view the house.

Yeah.

That's not her real name.

Before she used to be called Julie.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm looking for Peter Doyle.

Could you tell me where he is?

Yeah, Peter.

See those two guys over there?

He's the one in the dark jacket.

Yeah, I see him.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I was wondering if I could volunteer for the dig.

Okay, have you got any experience?

No, it's just, I got this part in a play.

My character is an archeologist.

So you're an actress?

Yeah.

So I was hoping, if it's okay that is

if I could spend some time on the dig.

Sorta like, for the play kind of background research.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I mean can you come back tomorrow?

Sure.

Sorry, I should have asked your name, I'm Peter.

Julie

What's the play called?

It's called The Archeologist.

You're the archeologists?

Yes.

Okay, come on.

Just push your hands in the front.

Come on, come on.

You can stay in the corner there.

Okay.

Everybody happy?

We've rechecked the way of the horse.

We're good with our calculations

as to the volume of pentobarbital?

Yes.

Okay.

Now don't forget, only when the horse

is properly secured for euthanasia,

can we begin the procedure.

I think if it were me,

I would have had an abortion.

I thought about it.

Came close.

I'm sitting alone in the waiting room.

That's when I decided to have you

so that instead of thinking about him

and what he did, I could think about you.

Out there somewhere and the life you might be leading.

I thought if I could do that,

then maybe I might salvage something good.

Hi, it's me.

I'm here in Dublin, working on something.

A costume drama.

If you're free, I thought maybe we could meet up.

I'd like that.

Okay.

That's really good work.

You're a quick learner.

Thank you.

That's okay.

Could you want me to stay a little longer or,

so you got the hang of it?

I'm fine, thanks.

That's great.

Okay, I'll leave you to it then.

What's he like?

Who?

Doyle.

Oh Peter.

You've worked with him before, right?

Yeah, he's nice.

Why do you ask?

No reason, just curious.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm sweaty.

Did anyone notice I was missing today?

Yeah, I did.

It's okay.

I covered for you again.

What's this?

That's just for a party.

What party?

Not a specific party, just if one were to come up,

I thought I'd buy a wig.

So like a wig party?

Yeah.

What do you think?

Not sure it's really you.

There was a lady here looking for you.

Who?

She didn't say.

Where is she?

She's in your room.

Really?

Your friend, Molly, yeah, she let me in.

She seems nice.

She is.

I played a vet once.

Yeah, I know.

How'd I do?

You did okay.

That bad huh?

That's the hotel where I'm staying.

I know it.

It's odd to be back after all these years.

I never thought I would come back.

Why did you?

I came back because of you.

Is that you?

Yeah.

That photo was actually taken

the day my parents told me I was adopted.

We went for a walk to the lighthouse afterward.

And my mum, she wanted to take a picture of me.

She asked me to turn around, but I wouldn't.

I don't know why.

But I just, I couldn't.

She passed away two years ago.

What was her name?

Patsy.

Patsy.

I think you's two would've gotten on really well.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Have you seen him?

No.

Yes, I have.

From a distance a couple of times.

I see.

But, haven't spoken to him or?

No, not yet.

Not yet?

Doesn't it bother you?

That he's out there, acting as if nothing happened?

Is he?

That's how it looked to me.

And I am struggling, really struggling

with how that makes me feel.

Okay.

Turn around.

Okay, okay, so.

Kiss passionately, bravely.

The baron.

What about him?

Consider madam, the difficulty.

I have considered it.

And your child to.

Yes, and the child to.

You would risk, you would risk,

just give us that line, will you?

Yes, yes, and the child to.

You would risk all of this for me?

I would.

Come on down, take a look.

Sure.

What do you think that is?

Looks like an animal bone.

A dog or small bore maybe.

You know I was thinking I'm going

to have to take this sample in for testing.

And I thought only if you wanted to,

maybe we could meet up

and talk in greater detail about the work that we do.

Give you more insight.

Just thought that might be useful.

What do you think?

Yeah, I think I'd like that.

Good.

Sh.

Beautiful eh?

You wouldn't believe the damage they can do to our work.

So you've never been here before?

Actually yeah, once before on a school trip years ago.

What did you make of the exhibits?

Pretty interesting, don't you think?

Yeah, I do.

I mean, they're there.

They're just right there in front of us.

Yet they possess all of this history.

You know I think that's what I'm most drawn to in my work.

Unlocking the past.

Why?

I don't know exactly.

Oh, before I forgot.

Now this photo is a publishers idea

so it's a little embarrassing.

There you go.

No, I think you look really good.

Really?

Do you think you look good?

Is that a trick question?

Yeah, it is.

Just in case you ever need to call me.

I mean you never know, just put it in your phone.

Can I say something?

Sure.

Your hair.

What about it?

I really like it.

The color the style, it just really suits you.

Suits your face, shape of your face.

Why are we here?

Excuse me.

Why did you ask me to come here?

I just wanted you to know how pleased I am

that you volunteered to work on the dig.

I mean, I know you just, you know, this research

for this acting thing, but you've got this natural ability.

You're really good.

Really, that's all?

Yeah.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

What weight are you?

I'm going up now.

Goodnight.

Julie.

HI, I was in the area

and I thought I'd stop by, say hello.

How did you know where I lived?

I called your office and here I am.

Come on in.

Just go straight through there.

Your wife?

Yeah, that's Teresa.

Your sons?

Yeah, well no.

They're Theresa sons, Thomas and Shaun,

but they do see me as their father.

We met when they were young.

Do you have any brothers and sisters?

I do.

Yeah, I have a younger sister, Eva.

That's nice.

It is.

You have a lovely home.

Thank you, except it's really Teresa's home.

Oh?

Yeah, her parents built it for her

and her first husband when they got married.

Wow.

What?

I don't know, all of this

just makes me think how lucky you are.

Yeah, I never really thought about that before.

Really?

No.

Would you mind telling me where your bathroom is?

Yeah, sure, it's upstairs on the left.

I'm in here.

You were right.

About what?

About me being lucky.

To have this home to live in.

You know, Theresa, the boys, my work.

I do think about it, you know, I don't take it for granted.

Do you know what the really great thing is about my work?

The surprises it brings.

Like what?

Like a rare artifact for example, or someone like you.

Am I embarrassing you?

No.

You know,

it's funny you being here, don't you think?

Funny how?

Well people might be forgiven

for thinking that there's something going on.

But nothing is going on.

Really?

No.

An attractive young woman alone with a man in his house.

In the middle of the day, when his wife is out.

Do you see what I'm getting at?

Yeah, I do.

Can you recall when we first met?

Yeah.

Can you recall an attraction?

I can.

Isn't that why you've come around to my house?

To see me?

No.

No?

No.

I think that really, deep down, you want this.

Stop.

In fact, I think you've wanted this since we first met.

No, just stop.

Listen, I want you to stop.

You know what?

I don't think I will stop.

Fuck.

When someone says stop you stop!

And one more thing, you are my father!

Stop.

When someone says stop, you stop!

And one more thing, you are my father!

Does he know who you are?

No.

Who does he think you are?

He thinks I'm someone called Julie.

And that Julia is his daughter.

You know I would have done it

if the syringe hadn't broken, I would have put him down.

I wanted to.

Okay.

Did you tell Eva about me?

Yes, I told her she has a sister.

And that's all?

That's all.

I'm not sure that I want her to know everything.

Not what I am.

I don't want her to have to stop herself

when she remembers who she's talking to.

How was the gym?

Can we sit down?

I don't want to sit down.

What I want, Peter, is for you to explain this

and whatever happened in there.

That Peter, is what I want.

Okay

There's this girl, a young woman.

What young woman?

Julie.

Julie, do I know her?

No.

Well?

Apparently she thinks I'm her father.

And are you?

No.

So she's lying then?

Yes, or she's confused, or she's mistaken.

Or maybe, just maybe you really are her father.

Not feeling too good.

You know what?

I am going to sit down.

What age is she?

What difference does it make?

Just tell me her age.

Don't know, 22, 23, maybe.

Okay well at least that's something.

Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to say

I have never cheated on you?

Never.

What about her mother?

Who is she?

I'm not sure.

Peter.

I'm really not sure.

Look.

Look.

Look at you.

What the fuck is going on?

You have one new message, first new message.

Hi, my mother told me to call you,

we got your number from the sign at the dig site

but there's this deer and it's injured

so my mom said that you should get over here

and she's gone to get a vet.

Okay, bye.

I would have put him down, I wanted to.

Shouldn't we wait for the vet?

Yeah but, how long is that gonna take?

out here, I mean just look at it.

Don't you think it would be cruel to just,

leave it here like that in such pain?

You might wanna look away for this.

It's not gonna be nice, look away!

Rose.

You need to get rid of all of these.

Is this the place you go?

Yeah.

Is there anything else?

There's some syringes back in my room to.

Where in your room?

In a, it's a box file in my study desk.

Anything else?

No.

You're sure?

Actually there's two bottles.

You have to be really careful with them.

Okay.

You were my first pregnancy

and I had always wanted a child more than anything.

And yet when you were born, I never actually looked at you.

Not really.

Wasn't able to, I felt empty inside

like I didn't know who I was.

Then there you are.

I never actually held you.

Can I hold you now?

I thought I could never love you.

That you were his child.

I felt like I could never be your mother.

You are my mother.

I am.

Fucker.

Hello?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

Do you know why I said we should meet here?

I can imagine.

Really?

Yeah, I haven't forgotten.

Okay, that's good.

But the details.

Do you remember them?

I'll refresh your memory.

There's no need.

I insist.

Everyone is packing up to leave

when you asked me to stay back.

I recall feeling flattered so I said I would.

You said you had something to show me

so I followed her away from the site

and onto the golf course.

We went over by a bunker.

It was very isolated.

You began with small talk.

The view, the weather, the usual and then you changed.

I could see it.

And I told you I was uncomfortable.

I looked around and I could see how alone we were.

And I got frightened.

Maybe you sensed that, liked it even.

And then it started.

I told you to stop.

I said no.

I said no.

And then you punched me, hard in the chest.

I was winded.

I was terrified.

Do you remember?

I need you to respond.

Yes.

Yes what?

I remember you said no.

But you didn't stop.

Did you?

No.

When it was over we both walked back

and I stood under that tree.

Do you remember?

Yes, I remember.

I didn't know what to do.

Where to look.

I felt ashamed, somehow.

Like I smelled bad.

Whereas you, you, you seemed relaxed.

Like nothing had happened.

This woman asked if I was okay

and she brushed some grass and mud from my clothes.

I don't know, I was lost.

And I didn't tell her what happened.

I said nothing.

Julie, Julie is Rose, my daughter.

if I had known...

She was your daughter you wouldn't have tried to rape her.

I was someones daughter.

I, inside me is not very nice.

No.

No I don't imagine it is.

Okay stop, stop, please.

Just stop, please.

It's okay, it's okay, just let go.

I'll keep my hands away, I'm not gonna touch it.

I just, I just need a moment.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

I was just dreaming about us.

I dreamt I was on the sea wall.

The sun was breaking through the clouds.

And I'm waiting, for you.

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