Original subtitles

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Enter right here to win an unreleased G-phone 5!

Unreleased G-phone 5?

You can win it at today's lecture.

One ticket gets one entry, but you must be present to win.

Okay. Yeah, here you go.

Do these hold a charge longer?

Oh, yeah, they hold a charge for 48 hours.

- It's incredible. - Whoa.

- Thank you. - I'll take four tickets.

Okay. And you can totally dunk these in water,

and it still works. It's amazing.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

- I'll take six tickets. - Oh, wise man.

- Wise man. - Cool.

Yeah. Thank you so much.

- Hey, I hope you win that phone. - Yeah, me too.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Yeah?

The 5 isn't even developed yet.

I would know.

Um...

Who is this?

Clever scam.

Does it work often?

Um, I don't... this is like...

I do this on an as-needed basis.

I... I have a very overdue speeding ticket.

Did you make enough?

- Yeah... - Good.

You know, my lecture is about this.

- About what? - Every time I talk

to a group of young inspiring entrepreneurs,

all they want to know is what it takes to succeed.

Be born rich.

Right?

- I mean, for starters. - No, no.

It's being able to spot opportunity

and understand human desire.

That's what you did back there,

- and what I'm doing now. - Which one are you doing?

You're spotting an opportunity,

or you're understanding human desire?

Well, both.

I would like you to join me for dinner tonight.

In Rome.

What? Like...

Italy, Rome?

Um...

Yeah, I don't have a passport.

You don't need one.

Not with me.

I have exams tomorrow.

Two hours of your time. That's all I'm asking.

Whoa, do you have, like, a sonic jet or something?

Location's in your phone. My assistant will greet you

when you get there. 7:00 p.m. tonight, Hazel Green.

Wait. Sorry, how did you know that that was my name?

- Subs by kinglouisxx - for www.addic7ed.com

Hazel Green.

- Yeah? - Lyle Herringbone.

I'm here to escort you to Mr. Gogol.

Oh, okay.

- What is that? - Alfredo's.

Mr. Gogol is waiting inside. Right this way.

Is he gonna kill me in there?

He never does his own killing.

It was just a joke. I'm sorry.

You're gonna be fine.

The door will open right there.

Hazel Green. You made it.

I have to say that...

that dress suits you.

You look absolutely radiant.

- Thanks. - Please.

This looks...

so real.

Thank you.

You know I could, uh,

explain how it works,

who these people are and,

you know, why I built it.

Ask me anything.

- Okay. - Yeah.

What's good here?

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Hazel.

Come and join us for a few moments.

We want to discuss a few things about your stay with us.

Okay. What's up?

Well, I took the liberty of putting together

a rudimentary cost analysis.

- Seriously? - I know it's been a while

- since maybe you've seen a bill. - No, no, no.

- Why is she wearing Mom's robe? - All right.

Stop trying to change the subject.

Come on. Look at the list.

Just like a... a ballpark figure

of what your rent should be.

- My rent? - Mm-hmm.

- I don't have any money! - Well, okay,

but if you're gonna stay here,

you gotta chip in.

I don't have time to get a job.

I mean, I got to get a divorce.

I have to find a neurosurgeon

so that I can get this chip out of my brain.

- Where are the keys? - Sit down.

Sit. Sit!

Look, divorces take a long time,

so you're gonna need cash anyway, regardless.

You think the lawyers, they're gonna work for free?

Brain surgeons, what, they work for hugs?

Fine. $200.

Is that good? Does that work?

Will that get me another month here?

Yeah, well, there's a couple other...

general issues.

- Oh, my God. Jesus. - Namely,

I need you pay a little more respect to Diane.

It is what it is.

She's part of the family.

Enlighten me on how this works.

Do you take a bite out of her food

and then pretend that she ate it?

Oh!

Is it ruined if I do it?

Add toast to the list.

Noted.

I'll get your money.

Hey, how much does Diane pay in rent?

Mr. Gogol, you, my friend, are doing the right thing.

Yeah.

She wants smells in the hub?

- We build her a smell cube. - Yeah.

- I'm very reasonable. - Sir?

- She'll love this. - Yes.

Uh-uh.

No.

I mean, she's just too upset right now

to appreciate it, but the chip... the chip is working.

Look how much more I know about her,

how much more I understand her.

Honestly, I think this... this process

has really brought us closer together than ever.

- Totally. - No! No!

No, I said nothing edible!

Many people enjoy the smell of cinnamon,

even if they don't like to eat it.

But we're gonna note that as a no.

It's climbing up my sinuses.

It's climbing up my sinuses.

Maybe we should present Hazel with some smell samples

since ultimately, this cube is for her.

There's no sense in making you smell more than you have to.

What are you saying? Make her part of the process?

That's good.

Oh, that's good. What is this?

- Oh, that's glass. - That's lovely.

- It's empty. - Empty glass.

Put that on the list.

- I like that. - Yes, sir.

Oh, hi. There's a digital detox today

for the yoga class. Yes, namaste.

Aw, thank you. Namaste. Have a good class.

Hi, there's a digital detox for the yoga class today, actually.

- So I'll take your phone. - Mm-mm.

It's actually a requirement of the class.

I'm so sorry, but namaste.

Just be present. Deep breaths.

- Thank you. - Okay. Thank you.

10.

20 for the 8,

even though that is cracked as hell.

20, 20.

45 for the Gogol X.

Why so much for the Gogol phone?

They last forever.

They don't, really.

That's a piece of shit right there.

It's a piece of shit.

- Six bucks for this last one. - Great.

You got to be fucking kidding me!

Hi. Bangles, hi.

- "Bangles," seriously? - Um, you know what?

I'm actually on my way out, but it was so, um,

it was so good to see you.

Yeah, no, you're not going anywhere, okay?

We're gonna fucking catch up.

Okay.

I was, like, "No way my best friend,

"my fucking ride or die, would screw me over like that.

She's my best friend. She'll bring the dress back."

- Oh, no. No, fucking way. - Okay.

This dress is my entire grade.

Okay, but okay... B-Bangles, I won't even eat.

I'm gonna be so careful with it.

Do you not trust me or something?

Who do I see a couple weeks later?

You, in a fucking magazine.

With Byron?

I wanted to call and explain,

but I... I didn't have a phone.

Oh, Ms. Fucking Gogol didn't have a phone.

Do you think I'm fucking stupid?

- I actually didn't have a phone... - Shut up! Okay?

I'm just getting started.

Where am I at this point?

Not in school because I failed my final,

moved in with Jalape�o Dick,

I got pregnant.

You have a kid with Jalape�o Dick?

No. I got an abortion.

But to pay for the abortion, I had to start dealing Molly!

And where do you think that got me?

He's from the Hub. They're coming to get me.

No. Not at all, Mrs. Gogol.

Byron is giving you space, just as requested.

He sent me because we have some questions,

and apparently you don't find my presence threatening.

If I may?

I have some samples for you to sniff.

Byron is building you a smell cube.

No!

Thank you! Hi. I'm Bennett.

I don't care about a smell cube.

I am not coming back to the Hub.

- Do you understand me? - Well, just in case you do,

even for a visit, would you mind just sniffing?

- No. - Three sniffs, say,

- could get us started. - Dude, she said, "No."

I'll let Byron know that now is not a great time.

He already knows.

He can see all this,

and you know that he knows. You're just...

you're just standing there smiling and lying.

Get out. Get out.

Get out of here! Get your shit. Get out.

I'll catch up with you later, Mrs. Gogol.

Thank you.

The Hazel I knew would have told Smell Boy

to go fuck himself six ways to Sunday.

What happened in there?

It's a lot to explain.

Wow.

I haven't been here in forever.

And it looks exactly the same.

It's a little more depressing than I remembered.

Holy mother of God, the sex doll!

- Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. - Oh, uh...

Oh, it's all clammy and stiff.

- Yeah, don't, um... - I can't believe your dad

- sticks his boner in this. - Yeah.

- Hey. - Bangles.

I guess they let you out of prison, huh?

Was hoping I'd never see you again.

Hey, Dad?

Uh, what do you think of that?

Took a little trip to the pawn shop today.

- Oh, yeah? - Oh, my God. Relax.

It's nothing of yours.

What'd you do?

- You really want to know? - Yeah.

The acorn doesn't fall far, right?

It's apple.

I'm gonna make dinner.

Bangles can't stay. I only got three pork chops.

But...

Oh. Oh, okay.

She's not coming back to the Hub.

I'm killing myself...

Making her a smell cube,

and she's not coming back to the Hub!

She's acting out, but she'll return.

You're right. I mean,

no way she's going back

to that pathetic life I saved her from.

- Exactly. - Right.

She just needs to feel that it's all on her own terms.

I see that Zelda's not here for her midday swim.

Zelda's pool privileges have been revoked.

I'm gonna eat her.

Well, then I need to extricate all the data...

Speaking of traitors. Bruce!

Bruce!

- Yes, sir? - Find Herringbone.

If he's not dead, send him to pasture.

Copy.

I am so sorry.

I tried to get her to smell things,

but she was with this really scary woman.

Mimicry, mimicry. That's it. That's it.

That should be our approach.

Appeal to her on her own terms. I...

Oh, my God. See, I'm already drunk.

No way. Off one beer?

I need to drink beer.

I could help you.

We... we can practice. See, you know, hanging out,

the way people do where she's from.

That's great. That's great.

Yeah.

Back in a jiffy!

Privacy mode.

Herringbone, it's me.

If you're out there and alive,

we need a new plan.

Show me the tanks.

Zelda, where did he put you?

Wow, it is really wild

- hanging out like this again. - Yeah.

I know. It is...

really wild.

Hey, I just have to say that I'm really sorry,

for not getting the dress back to you that night,

and for screwing you over, and,

you know...

Look, let's be honest.

I would have done the same thing to you, so...

I'm... I'm just... I'm happy to see you.

I'm really happy to see you too.

I really... I really am.

Because, you know, I haven't hung out with a friend

in 10 years.

I don't have any friends.

I mean, it sounds weird when you say it out loud, but...

Ooh!

- Don't spill it. - Oh, razzleberries!

- It just keeps flowing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- I like that. - Ah, that is good.

Yeah, I like it.

- You know what? - What?

Hazel is really gonna appreciate this.

I think sometimes,

she just gets a little homesick.

What do you mean?

Well, one time she asked me for donut holes,

which I'm guessing she used to eat.

What are donut holes?

Bite-sized donuts. Just the circle part,

- so no hole. - What circle part?

So if the... if the hole wasn't a hole,

and it was full... just that part, but small.

- And you gave it to her? - No. Of course not.

Well, you should have, Bennett.

When she comes back,

you should give it to her

if she asks for it again!

I'm sorry. I feel so...

I feel so bad right now.

Do you think that's why she left?

A little bit.

So I have to ask.

- This chip? - Yeah?

He can literally see everything

that I'm, like, doing right now?

He can see everything.

He can hear everything.

- That is so messed up. - Yeah, I know.

- Hey. Hey. - He sees it.

Hey! In there!

You little sick fuck!

Are you looking for a show?

Oh, wow!

Take it in. Take it in.

You really want to make him cringe?

- Mm-hmm. - You know what you should do?

You gotta moon him.

- Oh, girl. Yeah, girl. - Moon him!

He hates butts!

- That's a full moon. - Yeah, it's a lot.

Probably a lot wider than you remember, huh?

Put your butt away, Bangles.

I'm not showing him the cheeks.

I'm just showing him the hole.

Don't engage, huh?

That's not how you deal with narcissists.

- You know what? - What?

Byron can be our meal ticket out of here

if we work together. I have an idea.

- Bangles. - Huh?

He! Can! Hear! You!

Oh, shit. Yeah, right.

Oh, my God.

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Oh, my...

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What are they saying? What are they saying?

What is this?

Let me get the interpreter pad!

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You know the language?

Yeah. I learned it when you were in sixth grade.

I heard everything Bangles was saying over the years.

Why do you think I want you out of my house?

Zee-scram-zo.

Thanks for coming. I didn't know what to do.

I made a decision.

If she doesn't come back in 48 hours,

I'm gonna merge.

Byron, you can't.

- How's your dessert? - It's so good.

Do you want some?

I want

to know what you want.

What do you mean?

Like, if you could snap your fingers right now

and get anything you want,

what would that be?

I don't know. A million dollars?

Easy. Snap your fingers.

There should be a million dollars

in your bank account right now.

Go ahead. Check your phone.

- That's not real. - It is.

What else do you want?

Let's go somewhere. Where do you want to go?

I want to go to the Eiffel Tower.

Snap your fingers.

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God! - Somewhere else?

Uh, yeah, I want to...

Yeah, I want to go to...

- Antarctica! - Snap your fingers.

Oh, my God!

Penguins! Oh!

- Oh, my God! - Where else?

- Where else do you want to go? - Um, I want to go...

- I want to go to Egypt! - Snap.

Oh, my God!

- Oh, can I do one more? - Of course. Where?

Um, I want to go to... I want to go to France.

- You already said France. - Southern France!

Okay. Snap.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

This is so cool!

Oh, my gosh.

Wow.

- You know where I want to go? - Where?

Back to our date.

I knew the moment I saw you

that we were similar creatures.

You're not...

where you're supposed to be.

Where am I supposed to be?

Somewhere where you can have

whatever you want,

go wherever you want to go.

With me.

At the Hub.

Are you asking me to work for you?

You're funny.

I'm asking you to marry me.

You don't know me.

You were born April 17th.

You have no siblings. Your mom died when you were 11.

You've changed your major six times this past year.

But I don't know you.

Isn't that the exciting part?

You're thinking about saying yes.

I can tell.

Well, I do hate this town.

And I hate my life.

I know you do.

That's because the things

that most people feel satisfied about,

it just bores you.

It's disappointing.

- Yeah. - And you've never

had anyone take care of you.

How did you know about that?

Because that's me too.

That's why I built my own world

with all the best stuff in it.

Let me...

Let me show you.

Let me give that to you.

- Okay, yes. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - Let's leave now.

Um, well, I got to get my stuff,

- and I should call my dad... - Hazel, if you want

to start a new life with me, we need to go now.

Okay?

Okay, yeah. Yeah, I understand.

- Yes? - Yeah.

Let's get married.

Yeah.

Byron, we can't.

We can only hold a merge for 11 seconds.

She was chipped first. She'll die.

But she won't die.

She'll live here.